Mayhem 2000

Legacy Review

Mayhem 2000

November 26, 2000 from the MECCA in Milwaukee, WI

 

Commentary: Tony Schiavone, Stevie Ray and Mark Madden

 

We're now officially into the post-Russo portion of end of life WCW. As I mentioned the last review, Russo suffered a concussion after booking himself to be World champion for a week in October (the less said about that the better), knew the company was in an irreversible death spiral and decided the best long term move for him was to stay home and milk it for all it was worth. He'd never return to WCW. In his absence, booking has been undertaken by even more of a committee than usual for the company. Reports vary, but I think most agree the most prominent figures putting these final PPVs together were John "Johnny Ace" Laurinaitis and Terry Taylor. Not a bad combo really. Both were successful veteran wrestlers, Taylor in particular was one of those guys that almost never had a bad match in his life, and both would go on to have prominent and longtime backstage roles in WWE. But these ships are not course changed overnight.

 

WCW Cruiserweight Championship: Mike Sanders (c) def Kwee Wee (w/Paisley) in 7:47- Sanders' nickname is "Above Average" which is so hilarious. It's like if Daniel Bryan started proudly calling himself a B+ player instead of having it put on him as an insult. Double hilarious because if you look at Sanders' career calling it even average is a stretch. Sanders takes a mic before the bell, says some stuff and slaps Wee. Wee responds with a running Thesz press as the bell rings. Speed run and Wee hits a hiptoss/dropkick combo and clotheslines Sanders 360 to the floor. Sanders has already had enough and teases taking a walk, then calls out his Natural Born Thrillers stablemates. All 28 of them. Mark Jindrak hits Wee with a clothesline off the top rope and the group work the ref to do the gang beatdown. Jindrak and Stasiak lift Wee up on the floor and Sanders grabs him in the ring and powerslams him! OK, that was pretty cool. Meanwhile, Paisley's gone to get some help and here comes Meng, complete with the huge '70s afro he was sporting at the time. All of NBT against Meng? NBT's gonna need some more guys to make it even. If it was a real fight. The complete focus on TV is Meng fighting off the NBT guys and we see nothing of what's going on in the ring. Now new WCW CEO Ric Flair comes out with security to break the fight up and get everyone but the wrestlers in the match back to the back. Finally cut back to the match with Sanders hitting a snap mare/PK combo. And then it's chinlock time. Couldn't you have done that while all the outside fighting was going on? That's below average planning, not above average. Wee hits a springboard sunset flip for 2. Sanders pops back up with a clothesline and puts on a cobra clutch. Wee gets free and hits a Saito suplex. Slugfest while Madden and Ray bitch at each other to the point I'm already sick of them one match in. Kneelift and clothesline from Wee as he starts up the comeback. Mounted punches. He goes for a sunset bomb on the floor. Sanders blocks it and turns it into a hurricanrana on the floor! Two cool moves in this, I'll give them that. Paisley gets on the apron and slaps Sanders. Then she takes off her afro wig, gives it to Wee, and Wee tries to put it on Sanders (it falls off) and punches him. I guess that's a thing for Wee but not watching weekly TV I don't get it at all. Paisley then comes in and hits a handspring elbow in full view of the ref. Guess we're still doing the Russo "relaxed DQ" thing. Sanders flips over Wee, hits the 3.0, and that gets the pin. We only saw half the match because of all the focus on the extras brawling on the floor, and the second half we did see was only passable at best. Not above average. *1/4

 

Mean Gene is in the back with Flair, who declares from now on "unless you're in a featured match" (definition?) there's no one allowed at ringside, other than valets and managers. Any more caveats you want to throw in there?

 

Elsewhere, Disco Inferno (in a Randy Moss jersey) is complaining that his back is hurting and is negotiating with KroniK to replace him teaming with Alex Wright tonight. KroniK says he's got enough money to get one of them for 15 minutes. Disco splits the difference and says he'll take both of them for 7 minutes and 30 seconds tonight. KroniK agrees, but not "one second more".

 

Back with Mean Gene, Evan Karagias and Jamie Knoble bond over their shared North Carolinian heritage, until Knoble realizes the hot cheerleader Karagias is bragging about boinking in high school is Knoble's sister.

 

Three Way Dance: 3 Count def The Jung Dragons (w/Leia Meow) and Evan Karagias & Jamie Knoble in 10:54- These two eternally feuding trios have broken apart to form three regular sized teams, with Karagias leaving 3 Count and Knoble unmasking, revealing himself as not at all Japanese and leaving the Dragons. There's a loud "boring" chant during the remaining 3 Count members' prematch promo. The Dragons jump Knoble & Karagias (K&K) during their entrance and the big brawl is on. The Dragons and 3 Count do some fun stereo back and forth stuff in the ring for a bit until the Dragons backdrop 3C over the top to the floor. Knoble hits a plancha while Karagias takes over on Yang in the ring as things settle in. Powerslam from Karagias for 2. Then he decides to do some dancing, allowing Yang to tag out to Shane Helms in this tag anyone three way match. The former partners go nose to nose, shove and slug it out. Thesz press from Karagias. It's so cool how Austin made that an in vogue move again for a bit. We need more of it today. Big "3 Count sucks" from the crowd. K&K double back elbow Helms and Knoble does some arm work on him. The future Hurricane and trailer trash Noble do some decent back and forth stuff. Knoble has to fight out of the 3C corner. 3C hit a back suplex double team for 2. Noble counters a Moore fameasser attempt into a powerbomb, but then quickly gets taken out by Yang as the Dragons take over on Moore. Hayashi does some nice dodging and hits a spinning backbreaker. Moore hits him with a fameasser and tags out to Helms. Helms hits a straitjacket German suplex for 2. Hayashi gets a small package, but the ref is distracted. Moore comes in and reverses it for 2. Gutwrench suplex from Helms. He goes up top and gets a sunset flip, but Hayashi rolls through it and hits a great KO kick to Helms head. Tags to both teammates. Yang goes full on hadouken on Moore. He hit the pose for it. K&K come in and Yang takes them both out, but then gets neckbreakered from behind my Moore for 2. We go into a "hit a move, cover, pin broken up, that guy hits a move, repeat" sequence. And then we smoothly transition into EVERYONE DIVE time. Leia Meow even gets in on the action, diving off the top rope onto everyone. Knoble goes under the ring and gets a ladder. Yang tries to keep both K&K guys from bringing the ladder in, then DDTs Moore in the ring. Helms uses Yang on the top rope and a launch to big splash Knoble! The Dragons go for a Doomsday Device that gets countered into a double pin situation that was a bit of a mess and even had the ref confused. Thankfully everyone kicked out. 3C hit a double team neckbreaker on Hayashi and that gets the pin. Fun spotfest from six motivated young guys that, unlike the rest of the roster, have mostly delivered every time out. ***

 

As soon as the match ends Tony says "Hang on, we have something going on in the back". Cut to the back and Bam Bam Bigelow is assaulting Mike Awesome with a chair. Sgt. AWOL makes the save. 

 

Mancow (w/entourage) def Jimmy Hart in 1:38- Lord help us we're really doing this again. Back at Spring Stampede in Mancow's hometown of Chicago these two had a "match". I can't believe we're running this back again. Copy and paste from my Spring Stampede review because that's all he deserves: "Thankfully he's faded into obscurity now, so for the 95% of those reading that blissfully don't know, Mancow was one of the more successful Howard Stern wannabe shock jocks in the '90s. Just hearing his name could almost force me to have an involuntary eye roll strong enough to cause whiplash, much less hearing his voice". Mancow's got his clan of freaks with him again, and again I don't give a rat's testicles who any of them are. Hart comes out with a cast on his leg trying to claim he's hurt from their last match. Taking as long to heal as Cowboy Bob Orton's arm. Or Bianca Belair's finger. Seriously, what the hell is going on with that? Mancow says "You're just like Al Gore, you don't know when the hell to go away. I'm George W Bush and I already beat your ass!". Topical. And proof that just because I agree with someone politically doesn't automatically mean I like them. And vice versa. He also blows his "hanging chad" line. Hart tries to attack with the crutch and Mancow's goons swarm him. 3 Count then come out to help Hart, allowing Hart to get on top. Mancow hits Hart with a crutch and takes Hart's fake cast off. With extreme difficulty. Classic Bob Orton cast shot to Hart's head and Mancow wins. Let us never speak of this again. NR

 

After every match so far there's at least three or four rapid fire backstage segments. Nothing has time to breathe and it's almost impossible to stay on top of every little thing that's going on. It's Russo ADD with ADD.

 

Three Way Dance for the WCW Hardcore Championship: Crowbar (c) def Big Vito and Reno in 7:22- Vito and Reno start fighting before Crowbar makes his entrance. Crowbar still looks like a poor man's Kanyon. Vito takes control early with kendo stick and belt shots. He then goes in his bag and gets.....a traffic cone? And a baseball bat. He puts the cone in Reno's crotch and hits it with the bat. Oh, I guess that's how you use a traffic cone in a hardcore match. Fair enough. Then he puts a trash can lid over Crowbar's groin and hits it. I'm sensing a pattern. Reno then hits some can lid shots, and Crowbar actually pulls out a wrestling move, German suplexing Reno. More back and forth weapon shots. Crowbar and Reno decide to team up on Vito. They have a hell of a time setting up and getting in correct position before double flapjacking Vito into a trash can. Vito takes control back with kendo shots on the floor as some "boring" chants echo around. Reno and Vito go through the curtain to the back. Reno clears off a catering table and powerslams Vito through it. Some woman stops Reno from hitting Vito with a chair. Commentary says "That's Marie!". Who the smeg is Marie? Crowbar comes from behind, hits Reno with a chair, and gets the pin. 3/4*

 

Handicap Match: The Filthy Animals (w/Tygress) def KroniK & Alex Wright (w/Disqo) in 7:48- Earlier tonight Mysterio said Konnan isn't here because he partied too hard last night. I'm not joking. That makes it him and Kidman in a handicap match. Remember, Disco paid KroniK to wrestle for exactly 7 minutes and 30 seconds in his place tonight. Tygress is the first person to take the #4 spot in commentary tonight. Wright and Kidman start. No, Wright tags out to Adams. Adams tosses Kidman around when he can get his hands on him. Kidman gets his pop up hurricanrana and an armdrag. Between hitting on Tygress and being annoyed by Disco commentary is paying zero attention to the match. Adams tosses Kidman again out of the corner and presses him up. Kidman eye rakes to get free and puts a sleeper on. Adams easily flips him over into a full nelson and slams him. Now Wright wants to tag in. He covers Kidman for 2. Wright knocks Kidman around and hits a nice dropkick. Kidman dodges in the corner and hits a springboard flying headscissors. Tags on both sides. Now Clarke tosses Mysterio and his stupid devil horns around. Mysterio uses his agility to faceplant Clarke and hit a springboard legdrop for 2. He goes for another springboard and easily gets caught and slammed. KroniK has a stopwatch in the corner, keeping track of the time they've worked. Sit out powerbomb from Clarke on Mysterio, but he doesn't go for a pin. He hooks Mysterio up for the Meltdown, but again Wright wants to tag in now the opponent is down. Vertical suplex from Wright, and he tags right back out. Big boot from Adams on Mysterio. Wright tags in just to cover again. Mysterio comes back with a flying headscissors but Wright puts him back down with a clothesline. Wright goes to tag out, but the clock has expired! KroniK's work is done tonight. The Animals take advantage and double team Wright. The ref doesn't even try to stop it. Kidman hits a sit out powerbomb. They hit their version of the Dudleyz Whazzup Drop, and that gets the pin. Predictable, stupid and commentary the whole match was almost physically painful. *

 

Scott Steiner tells Booker T "death is ratings". I think he meant waiting. Little known Steinerism for you there. 

 

Ernest "The Cat" Miller (w/Ms Jones) def The Franchise (w/Torrie Wilson) in 8:01- To say my expectations are low for this match is an understatement. Douglas, normally an OK wrestler, has been the drizzling shits lately and Miller has never been anything else, at least in the ring. We don't even have Torrie in a Wonder Woman outfit to help us get through it this time. Jump start with Miller in control, kicking Douglas out to the floor. Douglas gets in Jones' face and takes a kick to the head from her. Miller tosses Douglas on the announce table, then goes after Madden! Hell yes, get his ass! If Miller gets Madden off commentary I'll take back just about every bad thing I've ever said about his wrestling acumen, or lack thereof. Torrie grabs Miller's foot as he gets back in the ring, allowing Douglas to ambush him. Ray is still laughing about Madden getting taken out. Douglas hits a suplex, then continues the trend tonight with a straight Greco Roman Nut Stomp right in front of the ref. Torrie gets another shot in. Sadly, Madden is back on commentary. Snap mare into a neck crank from Douglas. After some more dull Douglas offense Miller fights back with throat thrusts and does some mounted punches. Douglas counters with an inverted atomic drop. Another suplex from Douglas and he takes forever to cover for 2. Back to the neck crank. Two way speed run, Miller damn near clotheslines himself on the top rope by ducking too low, and Douglas gets a sunset flip. Miller fights it off, dances and hits an elbow drop. A couple more shots from Miller for near falls. The Feliner kick hits! But Miller doesn't cover, he just collapses next to the ropes. Jones literally pushes him on top for 2. Torrie goes over to Jones and we have our cat fight. They get all the way in the ring and Jones puts Torrie in a chokehold. Ref Lil' Naitch gets her out and we see Douglas has a chain in his hand. He waffles Miller with it. Miller barely gets a foot on the rope before 3. Lil' Naitch pushes Douglas into a roll up for 2. Douglas stomps away on Miller. He goes for a DDT but Miller uses the ropes to block it. Jones goes in her briefcase and puts the Red Shoe of Dancing Death on Miller. Feliner kick with the shoe and that gets the pin. I suppose that could have been a hell of a lot worse, so expectations met I guess. 1/2*

 

Jeff Jarrett discovers ALL HIS GUITARS HAVE BEEN DESTROYED backstage! He has no idea what the hell to do now.

 

PROMO FOR GLACIER! WHAT THE HELL IS THIS, 1997? The funny thing is that's exactly how commentary reacts too. Madden actually has some pretty decent shoot comments about Glacier and his history.

 

Bam Bam Bigelow def Sgt. AWOL in 5:42- Bigelow was supposed to wrestle Awesome but Bigelow took him out earlier tonight. Bigelow comes out, gets a mic and says Awesome's in the hospital so he wins by forfeit. CEO Flair comes out and says that's not happening, calling in AWOL as a replacement. Lockup! First one tonight. AWOL pounds Bigelow down and bites him in the corner. Bigelow comes back with a knee to the gut and Samoan drop for 2. Awesome gets a boot up in the corner to get control again with his scintillating kicky chokey offense. He hooks on a chinlock and climbs up the ropes for leverage, then hits Bigelow with a clothesline off the second rope for 2. AWOL goes for a Saito suplex but Bigelow twists into a cover for 2. DDT and Bigelow goes up top. AWOL dodges the headbutt. Slow motion back and forth stuff follows. Bigelow scoops AWOL up for his finisher but AWOL slips free and hits a heart punch. Instead of covering, AWOL goes out and gets his table. Spinebuster from AWOL. He hooks up for a chokeslam. Bigelow gets free, hits Greetings from Asbury Park, and gets the pin. The table stays unbroken. Bigelow drops to the mat after and the ref calls for help. They do the full stretcher job for Bigelow. Legit or not, I don't know, but Bigelow certainly looked past it during the match. Given the fact Bigelow wrestled again at Starrcade I'm thinking it's all a work. 1/4*

 

Buff Bagwell says that Jarrett has no guitars, and that means he has no game plan. Smartest damn thing Bagwell ever did in his life.

 

WCW United States Heavyweight Championship: Gen. Rection def Lance Storm (c) (w/Major Gunns) in 6:24- This is one of the longest running feuds in the company right now. Jim Duggan did his silly turn to Team Canada in their first match at Fall Brawl, then Rection won the title in a handicap match by pinning Duggan at Halloween Havoc. Storm's since won the title back again on Nitro, and after being a "captive" for months Gunns is now fully on his side. Canadian Stockholm Syndrome. He's also coming in with taped up ribs. Storm claims he's wrestling against doctor's orders, with cracked ribs and a bulging disc. He said disc. No one knows where these supposed injuries came from. Maybe he got in a bar fight with a bunch of Marines. BIGELOW POPS OFF HIS STRETCHER AND ATTACKS RECTION! HE'S ALIVE! Guess that really answers the work or not question. The bell rings and Storm picks the bones of Rection's carcass on the floor. Back in Rection tries to fight back but Storm eye rakes him, then hits a basement dropkick. He starts working on Rection's knee. Post shots for the knee. Rection uses that to push Storm into the barricade and get his first shots in. Storm kicks the knee out again. Back in Storm goes for the half crab to finish it but Rection gets to the ropes before it's on. Storm stays 100% focused on the knee. He tries some kind of corner slide but misses and crotches himself on the post. Gunns doesn't like that and grabs Rection, allowing Storm to clip the knee again. Suplex from Storm for 2. He hits the superkick, but then runs into a powerslam. Guess the knee's OK. Rection goes up top for the moonsault. Gunns gets up and shakes the rope to crotch him. Rection fights Storm off, goes up again, hits the moonsault and gets the pin to win back the title. Lame. It's a testament to how desperate WCW was at this point that they were trying to push Hugh f'n Morris to the moon as some kind of incredible, all-American never say die babyface. The match layout was as basic as you could get too: good guy gets attacked before the bell, spends the whole match having his knee worked on, then shakes it off and comes back to win with a handful of moves. 3/4*

 

Jeff Jarrett def Buff Bagwell in 11:08- Jarrett looks naked without a guitar. Random crowd observation: being in the middle ground of Milwaukee there's both Packers and Bears jerseys in the crowd. Good thing they're not sitting next to each other. Lockup! Bagwell easily wins and does his usual strut and pose. Jarrett gets the first real shots in. Bagwell fires back with the running swinging neckbreaker. Vader bomb for 2. They do a hiptoss reversal sequence and Bagwell hiptosses Jarrett over the top to the floor. Bagwell takes one of Jarrett's foam guitars from a fan and hits Jarrett with it. Jarrett sort of sells it. TV cable choke from Bagwell. Jarrett low blows to get free. He gets a chair and works Bagwell over with it. Back in Jarrett hits a Jerry Lawler shoutout fistdrop off the second rope. He hooks the sleeper on. We go to arm drops and Bagwell fights back up. Sleeper from Bagwell and Jarrett quickly back suplexes free. He goes for another fistdrop off the second rope but falls into Bagwell's boot. Running forearm and clothesline from Bagwell. Double underhook DDT. Bagwell calls for the Blockbuster and goes up. Jarrett ducks and Bagwell splats on the mat! That actually looked good. Bagwell gets a boot up in the corner, hops up again, but instead of the Blockbuster grabs Jarrett for a tornado DDT for 2. Jarrett slides under Bagwell and takes the ref out. Bald ref selling the HELL out of his leg barely getting grazed. Jarrett grabs another chair. David Flair randomly comes in and DDTs Jarrett onto the chair. Bagwell comes back in and covers for 2. Bagwell goes up top and hits a crossbody, but Jarrett rolls through it for 2. Reverse DDT from Bagwell for a long 2. Bagwell ducks a Jarrett crossbody attempt and Jarrett falls out to the floor. But it seems planned as he goes under the ring and gets....a frakking guitar. Of course. Guitar shot, cover and Jarrett gets the win. I quote again: "Broke ten thousand guitars, never drew a dime". *3/4

 

WCW World Tag Team Championship: The Insiders def The Perfect Event (c) in 14:54- DDP recently returned from injury and formed a new superteam with Kevin Nash called the Insiders. Double meaning here, both playing off the Nash/Hall Outsiders name, and one of those insider term references that were all the rage in these days. This is also a deep cut for longtime fans. Way back in 1991 DDP was a full time manager and part time still in training wrestler, and he led a stable in WCW called the Diamond Mine. Nash, in his Vinnie Vegas persona, was part of that group. Who else was? Scott Hall, then known as the Diamond Studd. Perfect Event NTB teammate and, as much as it mattered, current WCW Commissioner Mike Sanders joins commentary before the match. Nash has finally ditched the Wolfpac colors and looks more like Diesel again. The other members of NTB come out with Perfect Event despite Flair's edict. Can a Commisioner overrule a CEO? Oh, the NTB guys are all wearing security shirts. I guess that's the loophole. Big "We want Hall" chant from the crowd after the bell. Sorry, he's looooooooong gone. Nash and Palumbo start. Lockup and quick Nash start. He goes for the jackknife right away and Palumbo gets the hell out of town. Another lockup back in, much more contested this time. Palumbo gets a cheap shot in the corner and goes wild on Nash. Nash responds with his own usual corner shots. Corner clothesline. He catches Palumbo floating over and hits snake eyes. His old Vinnie Vegas finisher. Stasiak tries to come in but the Insiders clear the ring. Madden says Nash "only has three moves". He's insufferably annoying 95% of the time, but he's had a few good shoot comment nuggets tonight. The NTB "security" guys try to come in but the Insiders fight them off. Here comes CEO Flair with Doug Dellinger and the REAL WCW security team. They get most of the NTB guys out, but Sanders shows Flair a card and Flair lets him stay out. Apparently he has a manager's license now. After all that reset in the ring with DDP and Stasiak. DDP works around into a hammerlock. Stasiak crouches down and gets a leg takedown to get free. Speed run and after some counters DDP hits a clothesline. The Insiders bounce Stasiak around with punches. Palumbo then hits DDP from the apron, distracting him enough to let Stasiak hit a DDT for 2. Swinging neckbreaker. Double slingshot suplex from Perfect Event for 2. Discus lariat from DDP but Stasiak breaks the pin up and the champs keep him in peril. Superkick from Palumbo and Nash literally tackles him out of the cover. DDP sunset flips Stasiak and pulls his tights down. Way more than any of us needed to see. Clothesline from Stasiak for 2. Leaping back elbow for 2. Palumbo hits a tackle off the top rope for 2. DDP gets trapped in the wrong corner and tries to fight out, but Palumbo drop toe holds him to keep him from tagging. Stasiak hooks on a front facelock so we all see what's coming. Yup, there's the phantom tag spot. Palumbo puts on a sleeper. DDP fights free and puts on his own sleeper, then hits some kind of slam for 2. Commentary's "What was that?" was a pretty legit reaction I think. DDP barely gets a tag to Nash. Hot tag run time. Side suplexes for everyone. And big boots. The straps are down. DDP comes in and Diamond Cutters Palumbo while Nash hits Stasiak with the jackknife. Sanders pulls the ref out before 3. DDP Cutters Sanders, the ref gets back in and Stasiak has been so killed by the jackknife Nash still pins him to win the titles. OK formula tag stuff once they got all the NTB stuff out of the way. **

 

Goldberg def "The Total Package" Lex Luger in 5:50- They're paying Buffer to work two matches tonight. The way this is set up it seems like a de facto #1 contender's match for the World title. With Russo gone Luger's gotten his real name back. They're still doing the angle where Goldberg has to match his original undefeated streak or he's fired. Lockup and Goldberg cranks arm wringers that are SO CRANKED that Luger takes a rope break. Reset lockup and Goldberg goes to the arm again. This time Luger fights free and hits a back suplex. Goldberg pops right back up, completely no selling it. Luger begs off and tries to hide in the corner, then eye rakes Goldberg and hits a clothesline. Again Goldberg shrugs it off and pounds Luger down in the corner. Luger hits a running forearm with the STEEL PLATE OF DOOM that is either there or not there depending on what the story calls for. Then he clotheslines Goldberg 360 to the floor. Back in Luger hits some more shots until Goldberg reverses a whip, hits a powerslam and does some ground and pound. Goldberg goes for the spear but Luger pulls the ref in the way to take it. Goldberg says fuck it and hits the jackhammer anyway. Bald ref runs in as a backup and counts the pin. That might have been the most pointless ref bump of all time. Just another Goldberg squash match. The bookers are desperately trying to recreate the magic of 1998, while more and more Goldberg proves that's all he is. DUD 

 

Straitjacket Caged Heat Match for the WCW World Heavyweight Championship: Scott Steiner (w/Midajah) def Booker T (c) in 13:10- This is a rematch from Halloween Havoc, a match that ended in a DQ when Steiner, brain trust that he is, kept murdering refs before they could give him a win. I said before, but this is a feud that in a different time and place could have been pretty good and something a company in better shape could have built around. Unlike last time it was advertised, Caged Heat is actually taking place in the near HIAC sized Caged Heat cage (not as tall but wide enough to enclose the whole ringside area). The straitjacket part is there's a straitjacket in the cage, but commentary is unclear as to what its purpose is. Steiner attacks Booker as soon as he gets in the cage. As usual, that does not stop Buffer until he's completely done. Booker fights back and runs Steiner into the stairs. He looks under the ring but doesn't find anything, wanders around and finally attacks Steiner again. Getting in the ring Steiner takes back control and pounds Booker down in the corner. We get a fleeting shot of the straitjacket hung off the roof of the cage, purpose still unknown. Booker fires back with a side kick for 2. Steiner blocks a suplex, drops Booker on the top rope and Steinerlines him down to the floor. Booker takes the first cage shot. The bottom is secured much better than previous times they've used it. Steinerline/elbow drop combo back in and Steiner does some push ups. Backbreaker from Steiner. Belly to belly suplex for 2. He hooks on his Steiner Recliner setup butterfly hold. Booker powers free, hits a kick and goes for the scissors kick but it's cut off by a Steinerline. I think they did that exact sequence in the Halloween Havoc match. Steiner puts Booker up to and hits an avalanche Olympic slam. Hi Kurt Angle. Bear hug time. So, anyone going to do anything with that straitjacket thing? No one's even tried for it. Booker tries to fight out so Steiner inverted atomic drops him and hits another Steinerline. Booker comes off the ropes with a running forearm and goes up top. Missile dropkick for 2. Booker puts Steiner down with a forearm and is the first to go for the straitjacket. Steiner grabs him and gives him another Olympic slam. Steiner goes up, slips off, goes up again and gets the straitjacket. As soon as he does Booker grabs him and drops him in an electric chair. Side kick and Booker gets the straitjacket. He starts putting it on Steiner, realizes he's putting it on wrong and takes it off again. Kneedrop and this time Booker starts putting the jacket on Steiner the right way around. He closes the back but doesn't tie the arms, the whole point of the jacket. Booker goes out, gets a chair, and waffles Steiner in the head with it. Steiner tears the arms off the jacket! He was never fully trapped in it in the first place. Steinerline with a 360 sell. The Steiner Recliner is on! Booker grabs a rope, but Steiner pulls him back away. Booker lifts Steiner and drops him on the top rope. Suplex from Steiner. He comes off the second rope...into a Book End! Slow cover and Steiner kicks out! Clotheslines from Booker. Swinging neckbreaker. Another clothesline for 2. The scissors kick hits! Booker's down too and Steiner goes over and gets the chair. Spinaroonie! Chairshot to the head from Steiner! Full nelson slam. The Recliner is on again. Booker goes out! Lil' Naitch calls it and Scott Steiner wins the World title for the first time! Steiner punctuates his win with some chairshots to Booker's bad knee. Fairly decent match, but the whole straitjacket thing was completely pointless other than to weakly tie into the show's promo material, which featured Steiner breaking out of an insane asylum. They also might as well have put the jacket on a pole because the cage barely factored into the match. **1/4

 

That would turn out to be the final World title change under the full WCW banner. The departure of Russo would finally bring some stability here, as Steiner would hold the title for 120 days, the longest World title reign since Goldberg's first one in '98, before dropping it back to Booker on the very last Nitro, after the WWF sale. Booker would then carry it into WWF for the Invasion angle.

 

OVERALL SHOW THOUGHTS- Even though Russo is gone, many of the typical 2000 WCW issues persist. On top of that, the biggest problem with this particular show is volume. 12 matches on a B PPV with a strict 3 hour runtime is already too much without some kind of hook like a large tournament, and on top of that there's the multiple rapid fire backstage segments between most every match, some as short at 5-10 seconds. By the time you figure out what you're looking at it's already over and off to the next one. It's like they were trying to cram 2 PPVs worth of material into a single show, which was never going to end well.

OVERALL SHOW GRADE: D 

Halloween Havoc 2000

Legacy Review

Halloween Havoc 2000

October 29, 2000 from the MGM Grand Garden Arena in Las Vegas, NV

 

Commentary: Tony Schiavone, Mark Madden and Stevie Ray

 

Another last to check off as our end of WCW journey arrives at the final Halloween Havoc. Created in 1989, Halloween Havoc was one of the "second wave" of PPVs started in the first year after the Turner buyout of JCP, expanding the calendar beyond Starrcade and Great American Bash (the less said about JCP's attempt to make the Bunkhouse Stampede final a PPV in early '88 the better). It's also one of the WCW PPV names that was revived by NXT in the COVID/NXT 2.0 era, sometimes as a special edition of weekly TV, sometimes as a PPV. Sorry, PLE. This final Havoc also marks the one year anniversary of Vince Russo's takeover of WCW creative. Needless to say, I don't think it's gone how WCW or Turner brass hoped. However, we're also at the point that even Russo saw the writing on the wall and decided to jump ship before it crashed completely. During his brief World title run (which I went over in more detail in the Fall Brawl review) he suffered a concussion after taking a spear from Goldberg, and used that as an excuse to stay home and not come back. That was only about a week before this show though, so the whole thing is still pretty much laid out as he left it.

 

We've had some more changes in the booth. Scott Hudson is out, and partially retired as a wrestler Stevie Ray is in. Rumor is Ray getting this spot was a direct result of the discrimination lawsuit he, Booker T and others were threatening to file against Russo and WCW. I get losing Hudson because having two straight play by play guys is pretty redundant, but having the opportunity to get rid of Madden and not doing it makes me even more annoyed I have to listen to his drivel all show.

 

Three Way Dance for the WCW World Tag Team Championship: Natural Born Thrillers (c) def The Boogie Knights and The Filthy Animals in 10:04- Disco Inferno and Alex Wright had nothing else going on so they've reunited as a team, now being called the Boogie Knights instead of the Dancing Fools. This is also Wright's first PPV appearance since the epic disaster that was Berlyn. It's the cruiserweight team of Rey Mysterio and Billy Kidman representing the Animals in this one. Mysterio's got on devil horns, which is....a look. Konnan gets on commentary as if there's not already enough twaddle coming from there. Looks like it's three guys legal rules for this one, but Kidman hangs back in his corner at the start while still bald Wright jumps Jindrak. Wright then holds Jindrak for some chops from Kidman and they double up on him in the corner. Jindrak tries to fight back but they continue to team up on him, until Jindrak gets tossed to the floor and Wright attacks Kidman from behind. Flying headscissors and dropkick in response from Kidman. Mysterio tags in and immediately goes for the shitty bronco buster, but Wright gets his boots up right into Mysterio's crotch. That's what you get for trying to do dumbass moves like that *and* wearing freaking devil's horns while you're doing it. I'm not one for quickly calling out something as being blatantly satanic, but I honestly can't look at that any other way. And I don't like it one bit. Disco comes in and hits a swinging neckbreaker on Mysterio. Jindrak comes back in with a springboard clothesline on Disco, then plants Mysterio with a side suplex. Tag to O'Haire and he goes nuts on both of the other legal guys. Mysterio blocks an O'Haire sunset flip long enough for Disco to come up and DDT him for 2. Now Disco and Mysterio team up on one of the championship team members. They have a disagreement over who gets to make a pin attempt, then Mysterio uses a corner whip sequence to outthink Disco (not hard). Springboard big splash from Mysterio on Disco. Disco Russian leg sweep on O'Haire. Kidman tags in and goes up top. Disco tells him to drop on O'Haire, but Kidman hits Disco with a flying back elbow instead. Wright comes in with a missile dropkick on O'Haire as guys start switching, as far as I can see, without any tags. Now Wright and Jindrak team up on Kidman until Wright turns again on Jindrak. Everyone gets in the corner and we get a three man tower of doom spot with multiple covers for 2. All three guys crawl to their corners and tag. When three guys tag in at the same time who gets the hot tag run? Mysterio hits O'Haire with a springboard legdrop, then Disco tries to powerbomb Mysterio. Mysterio counters into a cover, but O'Haire scoops him up and tosses him out of the ring. Kneelift from O'Haire on Disco as he limps around a bit, which looks legit. I don't exactly trust him to know how to sell a hurt limb. The Thrillers toss Kidman and Mysterio back into the ring from the floor. Things start breaking down after that with everyone fighting in and out of the ring. Mysterio headscissors dumps O'Haire over the top to the floor and everyone starts diving, mostly missed by the cameras. Kidman hits Wright with the Kid Crusher for 2. Mysterio hurricanranas Disco off the top rope, and does the shitty bronco buster on him. Jindrak powers Mysterio up and drops him onto Wright on the floor. Disco Last Dance on Jindrak! Mysterio comes off the top rope with a legdrop to break the pin up. O'Haire then hits a swanton bomb on Mysterio and gets the pin to retain. It threatened to get messy and lose its place several times, but managed to hold together OK and everyone was working. **1/2

 

After the bell Konnan gets attacked and Sgt. AWOL runs out early for his next match to make the save. AWOL gets a table out and the ring crew hangs trash cans of hardcore toys on all four corners to set up for the next match. 

 

WCW Hardcore Championship: Reno (c) def Sgt. AWOL in 10:55- We cut from the recap replays straight to Reno hitting AWOL in the head with a kendo stick. AWOL responds with a big boot. Reno lifts AWOL up and already puts him through the table in the ring for a 2 count. Way to make table spots look pointless. They go to the floor with Reno still in control. He hits AWOL with what looks like an oil pan. Trash can shot to AWOL's head for 2. AWOL finally fires back with a kendo shot. Madden says it sounds like the crack of a "Derek Jeter home run". Dude. Jeter? Guy hit maybe 20 HRs a year. He was good at a lot of things, but power was not one of them. And he's the first name you come up with? Madden is an idiot. AWOL puts a trash can on Reno's head and kicks it into the barricade. Then he goes to do it again against the ring. What was the point of putting all those other weapons inside the trash cans when, as always in WCW hardcore matches, the cans are all they want to use? AWOL drags Reno up the ramp and starts choking him. Reno low blows to get free. He hits Roll of the Dice on the ramp. Reno goes under the stage and gets another table. Oh, two of them. And stacks them up. Hey, just a reminder this show is sponsored by WCW Backstage Assault on Playstation! Oh man. As if the actual shows in 2000 WCW weren't enough, they also managed to plop out one of the worst turds of a wrestling game there's ever been. AWOL punches back and drops Reno through the table stack. But he doesn't bother to cover, wanting to do more damage. Now they go past the stage all the way to the backstage area. AWOL goes over to a table and picks up.....HAHAHAHAHAHA that computer monitor looks so completely frakking fake. It's clearly a plastic display model. I remember those in stores. Anyway, he throws it at Reno who dodges it. Reno gives us the mandatory fire extinguisher blast and whips AWOL into a propped up table for 2. AWOL dodges a swing with another display model, this time a laptop. He hits Reno with the fake monitor this time. Now they go through Gorilla (decking agent Fit Finlay at the table on the way because why not) and AWOL tosses Reno back down the ramp. AWOL gets yet another table out, because they've been so effective at finishing guys off so far in this match. Reno comes behind with a chairshot, and hits Roll of the Dice onto the table. That gets Reno the pin to retain. I've seen worse plunder brawls, but that definitely could have used a few minutes trimmed off of it. 3/4*

 

For the second straight match participants in the next match come out to beat down someone in the last match, this time the Perfect Event on AWOL. MIA also come out early to fight them off.

 

We get a recap of Goldberg potentially getting hurt recently on TV and Tony mentions he hasn't arrived yet tonight. 

 

The Misfits in Action def The Perfect Event in 9:21- Ah, apparently this is an impromptu match after the beatdowns following the last match. Madden tries to convince everyone Perfect Event are on the same page after some recent disagreements, so you know what's coming. The MIA team of Chavo Guerrero (Lt. Loco) and Lash LeRoux (Cpl. Cajun) charge in and get jumped to start. The MIA guys fire back with a couple of sloppy dropkicks. Drop toe hold/basement dropkick double team on Stasiak. Stasiak comes back with a kneelift on Chavo and tags. Palumbo runs into another drop toe hold. Dropkick and armdrag from Chavo. Side suplex and LeRoux hits an elbow drop off the second rope. Suplex from LeRoux for 2. Clothesline off the second rope. Palumbo hot shots Chavo with Chavo completely missing the rope and going out to the floor instead. I just realized that Scott Armstrong of the Armstrong wrestling family is reffing this match, I'm pretty sure his first WCW PPV appearance. He would go on to be essentially CM Punk's personal referee for Punk's 434 day WWE Championship reign in '11-'12. The Perfect Event guys start arguing while trying to coordinate a double team and that turns into a full on DONNYBROOK. Perfect Event get control back and pull off the double team this time. Hey, Backstage Assault is on N64 too! Wouldn't want to keep Nintendo owners from experiencing such a, er, legendary game. Stevie Ray thinks Madden said "chubby toes" when he said "Chavito", which is about all you need to know about the current state of commentary. Stasiak plants Chubby Toes with a powerbomb. LeRoux breaks up the very arrogant cover. Palumbo catches a Chavo crossbody attempt and gives him a fallaway slam. Another arrogant cover. Belly to belly suplex on Chavo for 2. Stasiak goes for a press slam, but Chavo counters with a faceplant and gets a tag to LeRoux. Hot tag run until Stasiak takes him out with a straight right for 2. Palumbo hooks LeRoux in a sleeper. LeRoux goes down and we go to arm drops. LeRoux fights back up, but runs right into another sleeper. Another fight out and LeRoux springs off the second rope to faceplant Palumbo. Tags on both sides. Chavo dropkicks Stasiak and DDTs Palumbo as all four guys come in again. Palumbo accidentally superkicks Stasiak. Tornado DDT from Chavo and Stasiak and that gets the pin. *

 

We get about a second of celebration before cutting to the back, where Konnan is still hurting but doesn't want to be looked at because he's got a match next. 

 

The Filthy Animals def Shane Douglas & Torrie Wilson in 8:38- It's Konnan and Tygress representing the Animals in this mixed tag match. Torrie's wearing full on Wonder Woman gear, which, uh, works. Very well. Tygress initially comes out by herself. She manages to low blow Douglas, then she and Torrie do the worst supposed armdrag spot I've ever seen in my life. I assume that's what it was supposed to be. Weak kicks from Tygress on Torrie. She goes for something but Douglas pulls her down by her hair. They set up to hit Tygree with a double team move. Konnan runs out to make the save. Lord help me I can't believe I'm saying this but I'm almost happy to see him, only because it means Torrie and Tygress won't have to carry the match anymore. Douglas stomps away on hurt Konnan. Comeback double clothesline from Konnan. Rolling clothesline on Douglas and the heel team goes to the floor to rethink. Konnan and Tygress both go for swinging kicks through the ropes and both manage to make them look different kinds of horrible. Back in Konnan stays in control. Tygress comes off the top rope with an ax handle on Douglas' arm, then gives him a quick arm wringer before Konnan takes back over. She tags in again and they double kick Douglas in the corner. Torrie wants to help but is too scared to. Tygress again cranks arm wringers on Douglas and bites his arm to boot. Douglas finally says enough of this and punches Tygress in the face. Hey, she wanted to be in the match. Torrie tags in and the less said about their attempts to wrestle the better. Tygress faceplants Torrie for a long 2. The heel team work ref 'Lil Naitch to keep Tygress in their corner. Douglas puts her into a camel clutch, then slowly switches around into a lame attempt at a crossface chicken wing. Tygrees runs and momentum tosses Douglas to the floor, dodges around, and tags Konnan in. Backdrop on Douglas. Snap mare/basement dropkick and DDT from Konnan. Glad to see he's OK now. Torrie breaks a pin up and it's EVERYONE IN THE POOL time. Konnan gives Douglas mounted punches, then they have to stall because Tygress is taking forever on her setup. Finally she goes for the shitty bronco buster, but Torrie pulled 'Lil Naitch in the way and he gets it too! Douglas hot shots Konnan behind that. Torrie hits Konnan with the Franchise! Tygress breaks the pin up. Animals double faceplant on Douglas and that gets the pin. Torrie's Wonder Woman outfit was the only thing remotely worthwhile about this garbage. DUD

 

Another immediate cut to the back where Mean Gene is with David Flair and two "doctors" that look even more fake than that computer monitor. OK, explanation. You remember a couple of months ago at New Blood Rising when Miss Hancock/Stacy Keibler had a "miscarriage" during a match that was supposed to be a really real shooty shoot and not at all worked? I know, we'd all like to forget that ever happened. Russo won't let us. In the time since Buff Bagwell has claimed, in his continued quest to be a Val Venis ripoff, that he was the one that impregnated Keibler, not her boyfriend Flair the Younger. That's why David has the doctors. Once he wins the upcoming First Blood match, he's going to have the blood DNA tested to prove that Buff did not stuff Stacy and the lost kid really was his all along, results to be revealed tomorrow night on Nitro. Have I mentioned before that Russo got a lot of his story ideas watching Jerry Springer? Just thought I'd point that out again. 

 

First Blood DNA Match: Buff Bagwell def David Flair in 5:40- Flair comes out with a DNA testing kit and leaves it with commentary. Bagwell lets Flair knows he's #1 and they lock up. Bagwell runs Flair into the corners with about the worst selling of it I've ever seen, then he slams Flair. Running swinging neckbreaker as Bagwell stays completely in control and Flair looks as lost as he did back in his first matches. Flair's first offensive move is a sunset flip that Bagwell easily fights it off. Flair manages to do the classic Flair Flip in the corner, but makes the mistake of going up top and takes the usual Flair slam. Running clotheslines from Bagwell. He hits mounted punches and Flair does the most insane, ridiculous dancing flop out of the corner. He's trying to channel his dad so bad but he just doesn't have it. Bagwell rips Flair's shirt off and tries to make him pose. Flair uses that to hit the old Flair mule kick low blow. He tosses Bagwell out to the floor and slams him out there. Flair pulls the floor mat up and sets Bagwell up for a piledriver. Bagwell backdrops out, then dodges a chairshot and Flair hits the post. Bagwell pulls the middle rope up into Flair's crotch as he's getting back in the ring and gives him a chairshot to the head that knocks Flair back to the floor. Flair's bleeding out there but the ref doesn't call it. Bagwell lets Flair get back in the ring to hit the Blockbuster, and now the ref calls it. Well, you can say the match was worthy of the angle. Flair looked as lost as he ever has, and Bagwell even by his low standard was half assing it, clearly thinking this match was beneath him. DUD

 

After the bell Lex Luger comes into the ring. He celebrates with Bagwell....then clotheslines him! SWERVE! I guess, it's so random. Tony: "How many times is Luger going to turn on someone in WCW?". Ask Sting. A post shot makes Bagwell bleed from the mouth (a clear blood capsule) and David gets his DNA sample. We follow him all the way to the back where he gives it to the doctors and they run off. While they run off with it we see that Goldberg has arrived in the building.

 

Kickboxing Match: WCW Cruiserweight Champion Mike Sanders (w/Natural Born Thrillers) def Ernest "The Cat" Miller (w/Ms Jones) by countout in 8:32- This is apparently to determine who the commissioner of WCW will be, a role Miller had held the last few PPVs. This is under full kickboxing rules, so per commentary it's three 2 minute rounds and if there's a knockdown you have a 10 count to get up, like boxing. These never go well. I'm not getting deep into it. Miller was a legit karate champion before coming to WCW so he completely dominates. There might be some legit stiff shots in there too. While that's going on Palumbo and Stasiak continue their arguments with each other. Toward the end of the third and final round, after Sanders has been knocked down about 10 times during the course of the match, Douglas gets on the apron and hits Miller with a chain behind the ref's back. Miller still gets back up at 9. Time runs out and the match is supposed to be over but for some reason it keeps going. Miller knocks Sanders down again, then goes out of the ring to attack Douglas. Sanders gets up before 10, but wee ginger ref counts Miller out to give Sanders the win? Is that in kickboxing rules? And the match was already supposed to be over per the rounds rules. How does any of this make any sense? An atrociously painful waste of time from start to finish. MINUS FIVE STARS

 

In the back the Nevada State Athletic Commission doctors check on Goldberg, which only annoys him. He admits that he's been dizzy since Monday, which is "part of the territory". Is it? Even the NFL of the day might think twice about letting him back out there, much less today. 

 

Mike Awesome def Vampiro in 9:50- When bad gimmicks can kill: Mike Awesome came into WCW from ECW earlier in the year and actually managed to get a bit of momentum, standing out a bit from the usual 2000 WCW crowd. Then he got stuck with the "That 70's Guy" gimmick, playing off the success of the That 70's Show TV show, and he became a joke. Vampiro gets a mic before the bell and wants Awesome to put his title shot tomorrow night on Nitro on the line tonight. Awesome agrees. The bell rings and we get a basic start. Awesome hits a flying tackle that sends Vampiro out to the floor. Over the top tope suicida from Awesome! Awesome backdrops Vampiro over the barricade and Vampiro takes out some empty chairs and one poor MGM Grand security woman that clearly did not see it coming. Awesome then hits a springboard dive off the barricade and it's wander through the crowd time. Vampiro gets a mic stand, then someone's cane to hit Awesome with. Some likely drunk fan gets overenthused and tries to get involved, getting jumped by security as the wrestlers relocate away from him. Coming back Vampiro hits a clothesline off the announce table. Vampiro gives Awesome a chair in the ring, gets his own, and we have a full on chair sword fight in the ring. Awesome loses that, then Vampiro kicks a chair into his face for 2. Chops in the corner from Vampiro. He swings a clothesline that hits Awesome in the top of the head that Awesome sells anyway. They go up top and Vampiro just barely pulls off a belly to belly throw off of there for 2. Vampiro goes up top again and does some awful butt splash thing that Awesome didn't even seem to know what was coming. The. Fuck. Awesome then gets up first and covers Vampiro for 2. I'm thinking maybe Awesome was supposed to counter that into a powerbomb and blew the spot. Awesome goes under the ring and gets a table, bringing it into the ring. He tosses it into Vampiro. Vampiro does an eye rake or something that puts Awesome back down. Nail in the Coffin hits. Now Vampiro goes out, looks under every single side because he can't find what he's looking for, and just gives up. Well that was pointless. Back in Awesome waffles Vampiro with a stiff looking clothesline. They go back to the floor and Awesome powerbombs Vampiro on the floor....for a 2 count? Is this suddenly a falls count anywhere match? They set up on the top rope again. Awesome hits an avalanche powerbomb! Hoo boy that could have turned out really bad. That clearly gets Awesome the pin. Yet another awful Vampiro match, which has become all too common during his WCW run. He veered between going in slow motion and looking completely lost, and Awesome was clearly having to slow down or stop anything he was trying to do to keep up. DUD

 

After a General Rection promo we see that refs are helping Vampiro get up in the ring and he looks like he had his bell legit rung. 

 

Handicap Match for the WCW United States Heavyweight Championship: Gen. Rection def Lance Storm (c) and "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan (w/Major Gunns) in 10:07- Fall Brawl last month saw one of the silliest of all Russo swerves, as all-American Duggan turned and joined Storm's Team Canada. I mean, he is from upstate New York which is half Canada anyway. Ref Scott Armstrong has a hell of a time taking Duggan's 2x4 away from him before the bell. Duggan starts the match and goes nose to nose with Rection. Slugfest and they grab at each other's shirts in lieu of doing anything interesting. About all Duggan can do at this point anyway. Rection clotheslines Duggan on the ropes and he somehow manages to go 360 over. Storm comes right in and attacks Rection from behind. Backdrop and clotheslines from Rection and Storm rolls to the floor to regroup. Back in Storm goes to the eye poke to get Rection in the corner. Rection no sells chops and hits his own. Mounted punches from Rection. Storm pulls off the inverted atomic drop counter and tags out. After Storm tags back in Rection backdrops him over the top to the floor. Duggan whips Rection to get him running and Storm pulls the top rope down on him to send him crashing to the floor. Back in Duggan gives Rection some ground and pound as Rection is fully in peril. Jawbreaker/superkick combo from Storm for 2. Duggan's offense is just sad at this point. He sets up in the 3 point stance. Rection turns it into a double clothesline. Storm tags in and hooks on a sleeper. Rection back suplexes free. After a tag Rection ducks and Storm takes out Duggan. Rection goes on essentially a hot tag run minus the tag. Storm does some nice dodging around and tries for the half crab. Rection pushes free and hits Storm with a powerslam. Duggan hits Storm breaking the pin up. Armstrong does some nice ducking down but ends up going down colliding with Storm. Hey, first ref bump all night, for a Russo show that's not too bad. Duggan hits Rection with a piledriver and covers but there's no ref. Armstrong slowly comes to and Rection kicks out. Team Canada member Elix Skipper runs in with another 2x4 but Gunns takes him out with the Canadian flag! See, Gunns was not a willing member of Team Canada, she's an MIA member that's been a "prisoner" of Team Canada for weeks. Storm's mad and takes the 2x4 from her. Gunns pulls Storm down off the apron! While they're arguing Rection grabs Duggan's 2x4 and gives him a Russian leg sweep with it. He goes up top. Moonsault! Missed by a mile but still. Rection gets the pin to win the title! All of MIA run in to celebrate, including Gunns who I assume is free now. Not even Lance Storm could save this match, but it did just barely enough to break the DUD/MFS streak. 1/4*

 

Just a reminder, all the promotion for this show promised we'd see Sting undergo some kind of transformation tonight. We'll see how that holds up. Of note, during the build for this match Jarrett dressed up as surfer Sting to mess with Sting's head. That will play into tonight's match.

 

Jeff Jarrett def Sting in 14:30- Jarrett stalls on the floor so Sting goes out and jumps him. Jarrett takes some of the typical ringside knockaround before Sting rolls him into the ring. Stinger Splash! He repositions and goes for another. Jarrett dodges, but for once Sting sees it and hits the brakes. Inverted atomic drop (on the second attempt) and 360 clothesline from Sting. We hear a scream, then see someone dressed as surfer Sting on the entrance stage. Is that NWO Sting again? Sting goes out and attacks his old clone in the aisle. Commentary acts like Sting is attacking himself, which I honestly shouldn't be surprised about. They'll always find the dumbest angle to take. Real Sting gives fake Sting a Scorpion Death Drop on the stage. Jarrett then attacks. They do some weak back and forth brawling by the stage and through the crowd. Now ANOTHER fake surfer Sting comes in through the crowd. The last one was in green, this one is in pink. Whoever is playing pink Sting is all kinds of awful, tangling himself on the ropes when Sting tries to whip him. Sting takes him up onto the stage and knocks him around up there, then gives him a Scorpion Death Drop. Full on reset as Sting gets back in the ring. Before anything else can happen now Wolfpac music hits and Wolfpac Sting comes out. This is getting rather silly. Sting takes his bat and attacks him with it, and once again up the stage for a SDD up there. Jarrett gets the bat and attacks Sting with it. So what's next? Flash? Blade Runner Sting? Plain old Steve Borden? Four Horsemen Sting? Joker Sting? Wait, too early for that. Jarrett beats Sting back down the aisle to ringside and into the ring. Back elbow and cover for 2. Jarrett gets the sleeper on. Sting goes down and we get arm drops. Madden: "Where's the Black Scorpion, we need him now!". His one good line for the night, check. Sting fights back up and puts his own sleeper on. Jarrett quickly back suplexes free. He drapes an arm over Sting for a 2 count. Sting starts some classic no selling and hulks back up. He dodges a Jarrett dropkick and goes for the Scorpion Death Lock. Another Crow Sting comes up from under the ring! He drags the real Sting down into the hole! It's so ludicrous it's hilarious at this point. After a bit Sting drags the latest fake Sting out of the hole and tosses him out of the ring. More Stinger Splashes on Jarrett. He goes for the Scorpion Death Drop but Jarrett grabs the ropes to block it. Now the lights go out. I doubt this is going anywhere good. ANOTHER fake Crow Sting rappels down from the rafters. That's five fake Stings in this match for those keeping count. Real Sting drags him up on the announce table and the fake Sting's wig comes off. Scorpion Death Drop through the announce table! Ray is the only one left on air. Sting gets Jarret in the Scorpion Death Lock. Fake Sting number SIX, and fake Crow Sting number 3, comes in and hits real Sting with a guitar. Wait, I think this is the one that came from the hole. So we're still at five. Real Sting no sells it and gives that fake Sting a SDD. Then Jarrett comes in with his guitar and punctuates this match's insane overbooking with one of the most overused cliches ever. Jarrett wins the match with the guitar shot. As conceived this match never had a chance. The nostalgia hits don't land when no one cares. DUD

 

WCW World Heavyweight Championship: Booker T (c) def Scott Steiner (w/Midajah) by DQ in 13:00- Over the course of the past 18 months to 2 years these two have risen from wrestling each other for the TV title to the US title to the World title. Under better circumstances this is a feud a normal company not on the brink of death could have built around, but by this point there was nothing left to save WCW, they were just playing out the string. I'll also note this is not main eventing. In fact they even make a big deal on TV that this isn't the main event. The story is Booker offered to let Goldberg go on last to give him "more time to recover". Steiner is unhappy at this turn of events and attacks one of the road agents in Gorilla when his music hits. I wouldn't go to that extreme, but still I agree. Someone's put some duct tape on the ring mat to close up the hole fake Sting #4 created coming out of the ring. Duct tape can fix anything. After some stalling from both guys they do a crazy throwing hands lockup. Lil' Naitch almost gets decked forcing a corner break. Booker puts on a hammerlock and Steiner floors him with a back elbow. Typical slow Steiner heel offense follows. Booker reverses a whip into his own back elbow hit, then he hits the flying forearm for 2. Steiner quickly gets out to the floor to rethink things. And, as usual, rile up the fans. He even jumps the barricade chasing a fan that was jawing at him. Back in Steiner quickly goes on offense again. Speed run and Booker hits a side kick. Clothesline for 2. Mounted punches from Booker. Steiner hits a kick and clotheslines Booker 360 to the floor. Chairshot on Booker and Steiner dumps him over the barricade. Steiner follows and it's our third crowd brawl segment of the night. He then picks Booker up and slams him through the replacement announce table. WCW doing their best tonight to make table spots be absolutely pointless. Steiner takes the opportunity to get in Booker's brother Ray's face in commentary. Steinerline/elbow drop combo back in for 2. He muscles Booker over and cranks his arms back in a Steiner Recliner setup. Booker tries to power free and maneuvers Steiner around for a neckbreaker. Ripcord knee from Booker. He goes for the scissors kick but Steiner cuts it off with a Steinerline. Steiner sets Booker up top, hits an avalanche Samoan drop and does some push ups. Big chop from Steiner. Booker blocks and hits some buckle shots. Steiner cuts it off with a low blow. Belly to belly suplex! Booker kicks out! Booker leapfrogs a charge and Steiner falls through the ropes to the floor. He whips Steiner into the barricade, but Steiner does another no sell and bounces off with another Steinerline. Back in Booker does his corner floatover roll up for 2. Another side kick hits and Booker goes up top. Steiner meets him but Booker fights him off. Midajah grabs Booker's boot and pulls him down to crotch him. Booker fights Steiner off again. After all that the missile dropkick hits for a long 2. Another ripcord knee and the scissors kick hits this time. But Booker's hurt and can't follow up. Midajah hands Steiner his gimmick lead pipe. Steiner nails Booker with it, then hits Lil' Naitch and drapes him upside down in the corner when he complains. The Steiner Recliner is on, but Steiner murdered the ref. Backup ref Scott Armstrong runs in. As soon as he gets in the ring Steiner hits him and tosses him! The hell? I know Steiner's not exactly a Mensa member but how the hell does he expect to win the match if he takes all the refs out before they can do anything? The Recliner is on again. Ref #3, bald ref, runs in and avoids Steiner long enough to call for the bell, DQ'ing Steiner. Steiner then takes him out with the pipe. Agents and security run in and all take pipe shots. Steiner gets a chair and goes nuts on Booker's knee. Then he goes over and antagonizes Ray again. Jarrett comes out and tries to calm Steiner down. This started pretty bad, they kept working and managed to get to someplace halfway decent, but then the end booking kicked in and destroyed it all. *1/2

 

Handicap Elimination Match: Goldberg def KroniK in 3:43- And now for one of the most pointless, tacked on "main events" of all time. In a desperate attempt to recreate Goldberg's streak, an edict has come down from WCW management and Russo that if Goldberg loses a match before matching his original 173-0 streak he'll be forced to retire. Needless to say, it doesn't recapture the magic. After KroniK's entrance Adams takes a mic and says Goldberg's not cleared, play our music, we're done here. We then cut to the back, where the lead Athletic Commission guy says "OK, he's cleared". Typical bureaucracy, never in a hurry for anything. Goldberg gets the full security escort entrance from his locker room. Once the bell rings KroniK do the predictable double team beatdown for a bit. Oh joy, here comes another table. Let's kill that some more. Goldberg fights KroniK off, spears Clarke through the table and pins him. Finally, a table spot that had some kind of point tonight. The bell rings and Ray says the match is over. Then it's not over. Apparently Goldberg has to pin both guys. It's amazing how often WCW didn't bother to explain what the rules were to anybody. Adams manages to full nelson slam Goldberg but of course Goldberg kicks out. Spear, jackhammer, good night. DUD

 

OVERALL SHOW THOUGHTS- There's been several points in 2000 WCW that could be considered rock bottom. This is another one. 11 matches, only one getting up to anything resembling decent and it's the opener, and a whopping 6 matches, more than half, being either zero or negative stars. Add onto that yet more atrociously bad booking, at the end can't come soon enough.

OVERALL SHOW GRADE: F 

Armageddon '02

Legacy Review

Armageddon '02

December 15, 2002 from the Office Depot Center in Sunrise, FL

 

Commentary: Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler (Raw), Michael Cole and Tazz (Smackdown)

 

The Armageddon name returns for the December PPV after a year off (it was deemed inappropriate in the immediate post-9/11 months). The opening video recycles the "dramatic Freddie Blassie" footage we saw multiple times in PPV opening videos during the Attitude Era. It makes no more sense now than it did any other time. The skeleton robot thingie marching with a sword in the opening after that is hilarious. It looks like the guy from Medievil on PS1. But as usual for an Armageddon, the stage setup is *phenomenal*.

 

Fatal Four Way Elimination Match for the WWE World Tag Team Championship: Booker T & Goldust def The Dudley Boyz, Lance Storm & William Regal and Chris Jericho & Christian (c) in 16:44 (Raw)- The Dudleyz reunited at Survivor Series, a tacit admission that breaking them up earlier in the year in the brand split draft didn't work. Bubba Ray is still wrestling in shorts. The Regal/Storm team is the final remnant of the Unamericans faction from earlier in the year. Booker and Goldust have been teaming off and on since the brand split started and have been extremely popular but had yet to find tag team gold, making them the sentimental favorites coming into this match. Christian is still wearing a singlet, which looks so wrong on him. This is the PPV debut of the new World tag title belts, replacing the longtime WWF tag title belt design that had been in use with only small modifications since the mid '80s. A supposed coin toss took place backstage that determined the Dudleyz and Regal/Storm would start, with Bubba Ray and Storm stepping in. Guess that avoids the usual prematch discussions about it. Regal quickly distracts Bubba Ray from the apron and Storm jumps him. Big forearm flurry from Storm. Bubba Ray punches Regal off the apron and avalanches Storm in the corner, shouting "Die Canadian scum!" on the way in. Storm tags Christian in and the Dudleyz double flapjack him, three guys that know each other very well. Christian fights free and tags Regal. D'Von weathers some European uppercuts and hits a diving clothesline/elbow drop combo for 2. D'Von then tags Goldust in as everyone's willing to tag other teams early on. Regal clotheslines Goldust in the back and covers, but Christian had blind tagged himself in on Regal. The champs trap Goldust in their corner. Jericho goes for a dropkick but Goldust catches him and slingshots him over the top to the floor. Apron suplex for Jericho back in for 2. Jericho comes back with a flying forearm. Goldust gives Christian an inverted atomic drop/clothesline combo for 2. Goldust and Bubba Ray work some stereo flip, flop and fly jabs on the champs, then take Regal and Storm out. Classic Dudleyz Whazzup Drop on Christian. Right as Bubba Ray tries to tell D'Von to get the tables everyone charges in and it's a full on 8 man DONNYBROOK. Everyone goes to the floor fighting, leaving Christian and D'Von in the ring. 3D on Christian, but Regal blind tagged himself in on Christian just before it hit! Storm comes off the top rope with a legdrop on Bubba Ray. Regal comes in and covers Bubba Ray, but rolls him over too much and they have an ugly exchange where Bubba Ray ends up on top and Regal is trying to get him back over to pin him. Finally he does and the Dudleyz are out. No idea what was going on there, it's like Bubba Ray was legit fighting Regal to not get pinned. Bubba Ray also nearly kicked out in time and commentary is confused as to whether he's out or not. Total mess. Ref Nick Patrick tells the Dudleyz to hit the showers and commentary figures it out. While that's going on Goldust powerslams Regal and pins him to eliminate the Regal/Storm team. No question on that one, and it's down to the heel champs and the crowd favorite going in. Goldust hits a hip attack on Jericho. Booker finally tags in for the first time all match and gives Jericho some chops. Side kick for 2. Booker grounds Jericho with an ARMBAR. Hart Attack style double team with Booker hitting another side kick for 2. Jericho basement dropkicks Goldust and gets a tag out to Christian. Goldust hits the slide down uppercut, but then misses a crossbody and crashes out to the floor. That was a move Dustin loved to do in his WCW days. Not as much air on it now though. Jericho runs Goldust into the stairs. Christian continues targeting Goldust's rib area in the ring and hits a gutbuster for 2. Abdominal stretch. Jericho tags in and goes full on arrogant basic shots on Goldust until Goldust cuts it off with a clothesline. Christian runs in and knocks Booker off the apron to cut a tag off. After some taunting Christian slaps Goldust fights out of the champs' corner and plants Christian with a mini choke slam. One last fight off of Christian and tag to Booker. Hot tag run. Booker does his corner floatover roll up on Jericho for 2. Big chop flurry on Jericho in the corner. After a Christian distraction Jericho clotheslines Booker down for 2, then hits his own chops. Double leg takedown into a Walls attempt. Booker small package counter for 2. Jericho dodges the scissors kick, then counters a Booker spinebuster attempt into the Walls! There's a bit of blood on Jericho's face and chest from somewhere. Goldust comes in and bulldogs Jericho to break the hold up. Christian goes up top with one of the tag belts. Goldust hits the ropes and crotches him. Booker runs Jericho into Christian's crotch and hits a side kick for 2. Now Booker goes up top. Christian distracts him enough to let Jericho get up with him. Booker fights off a superplex and hits the missile dropkick for a long 2. Misdirection bulldog from Jericho. Booker counters the Lionsault and hits a flapjack. Time out for a Spinaroonie. Scissors kick! But Christian distracts Patrick just enough for Jericho to kick out! Jericho pops Booker with a tag belt! Lionsault! Booker kicks out! Jericho is beside himself. Booker ducks another belt swing. Book End! Booker gets the pin and he and Goldust have finally won the tag titles! Good match once they got rid of the extra riff raff. ***1/4

 

Earlier tonight, brand new backstage interviewer Josh Matthews catches up with ex-WWE Champ and newly face turned Brock Lesnar. After asking who the hell Josh is, Brock promises to make an impact tonight. So, he's signing with TNA. 

 

Edge def A-Train by DQ in 7:11 (SD)- Albert has been renamed A-Train in an effort to give him some push traction, but apart from his name nothing else has changed. He still needs an all over shave. Possibly a body wax. Is there such a thing? I'm no expert. Edge is coming in with a hurt knee after Train attacked with a chair a couple of times on SD but does nothing to sell it on his entrance. Lockup that Train easily wins. Train's power quickly takes the match over as we get a "shave your back" chant. Edge slips off Train's shoulder and dropkicks him face first into the corner. He tries to crotch Train on the post but Train powers free, pushing Edge into the barricade. Edge dodges and Train goes arm first into the post, then Edge gives the arm some more post shots. Then Edge switches gears in the ring, hitting a chop block and dropkick to Train's knee. He follows that up with a dropkick the back of Train's head for 2. Another corner dodge and roll up from Edge for 2. Train comes back with a powerslam for 2. He hits some almost Vader level potato shots on Edge in the corner. Edge gets slingshot into the middle rope for 2. That was one of the "in" moves at the time, been seeing it a lot on recent shows. Chinlock time. Edge jawbreakers free and hits some chops, then punches Train down in the corner. Clothesline that has no effect on Train. Edge fires back with a running forearm and standing heel kick. Faceplant on Train for 2. Edge goes up to the second rope and hits his reverse DDT for 2. Then he goes up top. Train hits him with a bicycle kick as he comes down! That gets a 2 count. Frustrated Train goes out and gets a chair. Edge baseball slides him and rolls him back in. Crossbody off the top rope for 2. Train counters out of the Edgecution and hits the Baldo Bomb for 2, then he picks the chair up again. Ref Jimmy Korderas tries to take it away. Spear! Train kicks out! Train gets the chair and nails Edge in the knee with it for a cheap DQ. After the bell Edge shotgun dropkicks the chair into Train's face and nails Train on his bald cranium, the only place on Train's body with no hair. I mean, I assume. Some places I'm not checking to verify. More charishots from Edge and end scene. These are the bad things that happen when you book yourself into a corner by putting together a match you don't want either guy to lose. Seeing as how Edge was supposedly wrestling with a "torn MCL" that should have played a lot more into the match. Still, Edge tried his best with what he had to work with after spending most of the year in advanced training feuding with some of the best workers in the company (Angle, Benoit, Guerrero), the wrestling equivalent of graduate or even PhD courses, and I've seen much worse Albert matches. *3/4

 

In the back, Big Show is panicking over Lesnar's "make an impact" promise, saying he's being disrespected as champ and wants to go speak his mind to Steph personally. Heyman tries to persuade him that's a bad, bad idea and to let him talk to Steph alone, otherwise she'll think Show's there to intimidate her and "McMahons don't respond well to physical intimidation". Show backs down and tells Heyman he better take care of it.

 

Chris Benoit def WWE Tag Team Champion Eddie Guerrero in 16:46 (SD)- For the first time in their WWE careers, Benoit and Guerrero are on opposite sides. Benoit eliminated Guerrero in the four way WWE Title #1 contender's match on SD Angle won to get tonight's title shot, then Guerrero attacked Benoit with the tag belt to get him eliminated. Since then they've been former best friends at odds. Both guys jockey for position. Guerrero tries a leg takedown but Benoit fights him off. Straight lockup. Guerrero switches to a waistlock and Benoit gets an arm takedown. Guerrero works around into a leg takedown. Nice chain wrestling to start. Guerrero gets Benoit in the corner and hits some chops to escalate things. Reset lockup and Guerrero gets a headlock takedown. Speed run and Benoit hits a backdrop, then snap mares Guerrero into a sleeper. Guerrero fights back up and hooks on a short arm scissors. After some counter attempts Benoit deadlifts Guerrero up and slams him! The old British Bulldog/Shawn Michaels spot they worked into all their matches. Benoit hits his first chops. Guerrero ducks under, snap mares Benoit and puts him in a headscissors. Faceplant backdrop from Benoit. He charges and Guerrero is supposed to backdrop him over the top to the floor, but Benoit gets wrapped up in the ropes and has to slowly work himself down. Crossbody off the top to the floor from Guerrero! Back in Guerrero targets Benoit's knee. Benoit hits stiff kicks to Guerrero's back to try to get free. Guerrero twists around into a kind of half crab/ankle lock combo. After a fight Benoit gets a rope break. Guerrero gets back on the knee, wrapping it up and snapping it back. He then switches gears to more high impact offense in the corner, giving Benoit an opening to get his boots up as a counter. Benoit grabs the arm for the crossface. Guerrero quickly escapes, but Benoit ducks under and hits a German suplex! ROLLLLLLLING GERMANS! 2! 3! 4! 5! Throat slash. AND snot blow! Benoit's serious about finishing it. But Guerrero slowly starts to roll, and Benoit's knee doesn't seem to hold up on the top rope so he aborts. Another German! A 7th! Guerrero wraps up in the ropes, clearly having been Germaned enough. Benoit tries a powerbomb but Guerrero flips through, ducks under, and hits his own German! Into more rolling Germans, with Guerrero hitting three. Benoit fights free, so Guerrero hits a regular suplex. Now he goes up top. Frog splash! Benoit kicks out! Guerrero charges and tackles Benoit, and himself, through the ropes to the floor. Ref Hebner Junior literally waistlocks Guerrero to keep him from going back to the floor to punish Benoit some more. That allows Chavo Guerrero to run in and nail Benoit with his tag belt! Eddie drags Benoit's carcass back into the ring and covers. Benoit kicks out! Both Guerreros are furious. Benoit flips out of a suplex attempt, but Eddie drop toe holds him and hooks on the Lasso from El Paso. Benoit quickly gets a rope break. A chop from Benoit drops Eddie. Another one. Big powerbomb from Benoit. He goes up top. Eddie grabs Hebner Junior, allowing Chavo to go up top with Benoit. Benoit fights him off and Chavo does a crazy oversell of falling throat first on the top rope. Eddie then gets up and crotches Benoit on the top rope. Benoit fights Eddie off and sends him back to the mat. Headbutt off the top rope! Slow cover. Eddie pops up and gets the Lasso on again! Benoit twists free and tries for the crossface! Eddie tries to fight it, so Benoit switches to the other arm and gets it on! Roll back into the middle! Eddie taps! As good as you'd expect from these two, but there was just a little something missing that keeps it from hitting the upper echelon. Chavo's interference didn't help. ***3/4

 

Steph is in her SD office, posing in a not at all "look at my legs" staged way on her desk. Not that I'm, you know, complaining. Heyman comes in and Steph makes it clear Lesnar's suspension is over as of tonight no matter what Heyman says. Heyman says that's fine and starts spinning one of his yarns. Steph cuts him off and says that if Lesnar wants to be in Angle's corner tonight, that's Lesnar's decision. Heyman knows he's lost, but on his way out tells Steph if Lesnar is out there tonight, "no more Mr. Nice Guy" and Show will break Lesnar's neck. A side thought, Steph and Heyman really had great chemistry. Total opposite of Steph and Bischoff, who had less than zero.

 

I regret to inform you that the whole Dawn Marie/elderly Al Wilson thing is still going on. The latest soap opera twist is Marie swings both ways and gets Torrie in bed under the promise of breaking off her engagement to Al, then of course reneging on her promise after. Dad Al seems perfectly fine with all this by the way. This is definitely in all time stupid angle territory, especially since it involves two women that can't wrestle well enough to have a proper blow off match anyway.

 

Marie and Al come out to the ring for a promo segment. Marie has been promising to show the entire sex tape she apparently made with Torrie that night. Did Torrie consent to that? Torrie is not here tonight. For real, not in a "she's showing up anyway" way. Marie says roll the footage. Once both women are down to their bras and panties and the kissing starts and starts threatening to get out of PG-13 territory Al finally puts his foot down and says enough is enough, that's my damn daughter, getting him heel heat on the level of 2015 Roman Reigns. Like anyone should have realistically expected it would go beyond that anyway.

 

Over 15 minutes of PPV time wasted with that. Everyone should have demanded a partial refund. 

 

Batista (w/Ric Flair) def Kane in 6:37 (Raw)- Batista appeared on PPV earlier this year as the Deacon to Reverend D'Von, but this is his first actual PPV match. Triple H advisor Flair is now also advising Batista as the pieces of Evolution slowly get put together. The ENTIRE SET lights on fire for Kane's entrance. That's fantastic. Lockup into a shoulderblock standoff. Kane comes off the ropes again and Batista hits a clothesline, then quickly pounds away on Kane. Kane blocks a hiptoss into a swinging neckbreaker, then clotheslines Batista 360 over the top to the floor. Back in Kane counters and hits a slam, followed by an elbow drop for 2. Off a charge Batista goes to either hot shot Kane or throw him over the top rope, it's hard to tell, and Kane pretty literally lands somewhere in the middle. Needless to say it's not pretty. Charging tackle from Batista for 2. Suplex for 2. Kane fires back with punches and a clothesline. Batista momentum tosses Kane back over the top and out. Kane snaps Batista over the top rope. Flair runs over and runs into Kane! Literally ran into. On purpose. He tries to whip Kane on the floor but Kane refuses to move and Flair just bumps himself on the floor. He wants in the ring so bad. Flair chops on Kane! All no sold. Kane grabs a goozle. Batista comes from behind to make the save. Back in Kane slugs back again and hits a corner clothesline. Big boot. Side suplex. Batista ducks Kane's clothesline off the top rope. He goes for a powerbomb, can't hold Kane up, and nearly drops him on his head. As Batista's hitting shots to Kane's back Kane low blows him. The clothesline off the top hits this time. Goozle. Batista back elbows free. Ugly spinebuster from Batista for 2. Kane hits the chokeslam! Flair distracts the ref and Kane flips him into the ring. Big boot for Flair and Flair begs off. Kane turns around into a kick. The sit out powerbomb hits this time and Batista picks up an upset win. Not exactly an auspicious debut for Batista, nearly everything he did looked unnatural or slightly off. And they knew it too, having Flair provide all the smoke and mirrors he could. But, for full disclosure, I've never been a fan of Batista the wrestler anyway. He never did anything for me. I much prefer Batista the actor, the best wrestler turned actor there's ever been. WWE managed to get through the 2002 PPV year without a single DUD match by my reckoning, so this just might be the worst PPV match of the whole year. 1/4*

 

Ladies and gentlemen, the Doctor of Thuganomics John Cena is here. He'd just recently debuted the character and this is it's first appearance on PPV. And he's dragging Bull Buchanan with him for some reason. Anyway, Cena does some rap lines, none of which are particularly remarkable, and leaves. Guess it's PPV time for him.

 

Triple Threat Match for the WWE Women's Championship: Victoria (c) def Trish Stratus and Jacqueline in 4:29 (Raw)- Since winning the title at Survivor Series Victoria has continued to go full crazy chick on every other woman in the roster and they're all ganging up to try to beat her. Victoria charges into the ring like she's the Ultimate Warrior and we're on. Jacqueline tosses her out so she and Trish can go at it. Trish tosses Jacqueline and she tries to skin the cat, but Victoria knocks her off to the floor, then hits a slingshot legdrop on Trish in the ring. Jacqueline pulls Victoria out to break the pin up. Nice sweep kick from Jacqueline, my old spam move on Mortal Kombat (yes I suck at fighting games), for 2. Roll under into a clothesline. Trish goes for a Stratusfaction on Jacqueline. Victoria blocks it, then she and Jacqueline double back suplex Trish. Victoria gets Trish up and hits a superplex. While Jacqueline and Victoria are fighting Trish rolls Jacqueline up for 2. Jacqueline gets a nice spinning headscissors on Victoria. Double slam on Victoria, then Jacqueline tosses Trish out and covers for 2. Trish crossbody off the top on Jacqueline for 2, then Jacqueline rolls through it for her own 2. Big back kick from Jacqueline that sends Victoria through the ropes to the floor. Trish pummels Jacqueline with forearms, but runs into a back elbow. Jacqueline goes up top and Trish does the handstand hurricanrana. Chick kick on Victoria! Then Trish hits Jacqueline with a neckbreaker. Big kick from Victoria that puts Trish down. She goes up top but Jacqueline pushes her off to the floor. Chick kick on Jacqueline! Trish takes forever to cover, stalling to give Victoria time to get back in and break it up. Corner clothesline from Trish on Jacqueline. While she's covering Victoria hits Trish with the belt out of ref Lil' Naith's sight, then covers Jacqueline to get the pin to retain. Meh. *

 

In the back, Angle is in Lesnar's locker room. Angle reminds Lesnar what happened at Survivor Series, then says if Lesnar's in his corner he'll just be 20 feet away from Heyman and retribution. As Angle leaves he pops in a tape of the Survivor Series match to make sure Lesnar remembers. 2002, I don't remember if WWE was putting shows out on DVD yet or not. I'll say one thing, taking Brock's mouthpiece away this early in his career and relying on him to talk for himself was a brave choice. 

 

WWE Championship: Kurt Angle def The Big Show (c) (w/Paul Heyman) in 12:36 (SD)- Speaking of brave choices, Show's still wrestling in black jeans over his singlet. Angle's also still wearing the knee brace he had on at Survivor Series. Lockup and Angle quickly and smartly goes for the legs. Show easily pushes him away. Duck under into a waistlock from Angle. Show gets a takedown and actually does some mat wrestling as a huge "Let's go Angle" chant starts up. Angle runs into a shoulderblock and quickly bails for the corner. When Show gets close Angle puts him in a front facelock. Show easily muscles him up into a fireman's carry. Angle tries to fight free, but Show backs up and dumps him over the top rope to the floor! That took Heyman out too! Angle takes advantage, sneaking around and behind Show then dumping him out Royal Rumble elimination style. Angle tries coming off the apron but Show easily catches him and drops him on the barricade. First big chop from Show. As they're getting back in Angle hits the ropes and charges at Show. Show grabs him by the throat and tosses him back over the top to the floor! Show hiptosses him back in and hits a clothesline. Straight suplex from Show. That gets a 2 count. Angle tries to slug back but runs into a side suplex for 2. Big headbutt from Show. Angle fires back with a jawbreaker. Show catches a crossbody attempt, casually swings Angle down and hits a GTR like move for 2. Commentary reminds us Heyman is still down. Bear hug from Show. Angle bites free! Back elbow and Angle hops on Show's back to put on a sleeper. Show one hand snap mares Angle over to get free. Angle hops to the second rope to hit a tornado DDT! Basement dropkick from Angle to Show's knee. That gets Show down to his knees and Angle hits a running kick to his face. Angle goes up top. Missile dropkick! That's a new one. Cover for 2. Off a corner whip Angle hops to the top rope and comes down with a moonsault! His feet caught Show's head. Another 2 count. Show uses Angle trying to whip him to hit a short clothesline. Angle fights out of a powerbomb attempt, comes off the ropes, spins around Show.....ANGLE SLAM! Show kicks out! THE STRAPS ARE DOWN! Ankle lock! Show pretty easily rolls over and hooks on a goozle. Angle counters the chokeslam into a roll up into the ankle lock! Show uses Chioda to try to fight, then when he rolls over and pushes free he pushes Angle into Chioda, knocking him down. Everyone's down in the ring, and Heyman's back up. He tosses a chair in the ring. Angle is first to the chair. Show tries to punch it away, but Angle muscles through it and nails Show with it! Cover and Chioda's back up. Show flips Angle over to kick out, which takes Chioda out again. Angle puts the ankle lock on and Show taps, but there's no ref. A-Train comes in and takes Angle out. Everyone's down in the ring again as the crowd desperately wants Brock out here. Show hits the chokeslam. Here comes Lesnar! F5 to Show! He picked his spot. Heyman runs for his life and Lesnar chases him. Angle crawls over, covers, and gets the pin to win the title! His third WWE Title win and first in over a year. Angle was absolutely on fire more than the show's stage, carrying Show to a really good match for the most part, but all the overbooking undercut that quite a bit. **3/4

 

The next week on SD, Heyman would reveal that he was actually working for Angle all along. Heyman pulling the Sunny, making sure he stays with the champ no matter what. Also of note at the same time, Heyman would present Angle with a gift, a brand new tag team to put under his wing: Shelton Benjamin and Charlie Haas, who would be known as Team Angle. 

 

For those keeping track that's 7 WWE Championship changes over the course of 2002, across 8 (!) different champions with no one repeating (Jericho to Triple H to Hogan to Undertaker to Rock to Lesnar [title split here] to Show to Angle). Fortunately 2003 will provide more stability, with only either Angle or Lesnar holding it over the course of the year.

 

Three Stages of Hell Match for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship: Triple H (w/Ric Flair) def "The Heartbreak Kid" Shawn Michaels (c) in 38:33 (Raw)- This is designed to be the final blowoff of this feud that kicked off Shawn's comeback. So far Shawn is two for two, winning with a flash cradle after an absolute street fight war at Summerslam, then defeating HHH at the end to win the title in the first ever Elimination Chamber match at Survivor Series. HHH has some extra tape on his formerly hurt quad tonight. Shawn's wearing some of his classic pre-injury gear for the first time in his comeback tonight. During his entrance Shawn mocks Flair by doing Flair's usual hit the ropes warmup and strut, which sets Flair off. Then Hebner tosses Flair before the match starts! FLAIR BUMPS OFF HEBNER BARELY SHOVING HIM! I love it. While HHH is protesting that Shawn hits him from behind and we're on.

FIRST FALL (Street Fight)- No normal rules tonight, starting up with the same stipulation as the Summerslam match. Speed run with Shawn going all out on the dodging. HHH tries to toss him over the top but Shawn gets an early skin the cat in, then he 360 clotheslines HHH to the floor. While out there HHH goes right under the ring to get a trash can. Shawn baseball slides him. Shawn goes for a plancha, but HHH moves and Shawn lands on the trash can. That was badly timed, when Shawn launched he could clearly see it was only the trash can down there. Clothesline from HHH on the floor and he's already gimping on his bad leg. HHH goes for a trash can shot but Shawn kicks it out of the way. Springboard dive to the floor and Shawn gets both HHH and the trash can. They're off tonight. You can see it already. No idea why and there might not be a concrete reason, but they are. Shawn goes under the ring and gets a table, setting it up on the floor. HHH blocks a suplex attempt into the table. Shawn runs HHH into the stairs and rolls him back in the ring, then goes up top with the trash can. HHH gets a boot up and sends the can into Shawn's face. Shawn recovers and goes for a crossbody off the top rope. HHH has a hell of a time trying to work Shawn over for a reversal, finally doing it for a 2 count. Yeah, definitely off. Another clothesline from HHH and he's still limping around on his bad leg. I wonder if he tweaked it again for real sometime before the match, might explain some of why they seem to be struggling so far. HHH goes out, gets a second table, and sets it up on the floor next to the other one. He teases suplexing Shawn out of the ring onto the tables. Shawn reverses it into a suplex into the ring for 2. More speed and HHH hits the high knee, then falls down. That leg ain't right. Now HHH gets a chair from under the ring. Back in HHH starts working on Shawn's bad back. He sets the chair up in the middle of the ring and picks Shawn up to backbreaker him onto the chair again. Shawn spins around and gives HHH the backbreaker on the chair! HHH takes some hard corner whips and rolls back to the floor. With that setup he'd normally do the Trips Flip over the corner to go out, to me more evidence that his leg isn't 100%. Also the fact Shawn never goes for his leg despite it clearly being a problem. Shawn diving ax handle off the apron and he runs HHH's back into the ring. He then gets a trash can lid out and nails HHH's back with it. Shawn sets up in the corner while HHH wobbles in the middle of the ring. Superki...NO HHH blocks it and rams Shawn's knee into the mat! Knee shot into the trash can. Post shot for the knee. As Shawn's trying to struggle back to his feet HHH chop blocks him. HHH figure four! Shawn's selling it to the cheap seats in a way that has to be making Flair happy. Shawn slowly drags himself to the ropes. HHH pulls back and gets him back in the middle. That leads to a couple of near falls. Shawn has another burst and manages to reverse it. HHH quickly releases. He gets the lid, but instead of going for Shawn's knee again, just WHACKS him upside the head with it! Cover for 2. HHH tosses Shawn out to the floor again and pounds him slowly up the aisle to the stage area. Shawn gets bounced off the stage metal. HHH goes behind the stage....and comes out with a barbed wire covered 2x4! Courtesy Mick Foley. HHH loads up to hit Shawn with it, then seems to have second thoughts. Nope, not second thoughts. A better idea. He sees the flames that have been part of the stage all night. Now it's a FLAMING barbed wire 2x4! Shawn kicks HHH in the gut and makes him drop it! HHH had to be VERY careful that didn't end up in the crowd. Shawn crawls over and picks it up. He hits HHH with it! HHH is, naturally, bleeding off that shot. Not burned though. Now Shawn knocks HHH down the aisle back toward the ring. HHH tries to beg off. Shawn says nah and runs him into the post. Now Shawn gets a fresh chair out from under the ring, then gives HHH a shot with the can lid. The new chair is set up in the ring. HHH reverses the whip and drop toe holds Shawn into the chair! Somewhere Raven is smiling. DDT from HHH. He sets Shawn up for the Pedigree. Shawn low blows free! Flying forearm. Kip up! HHH clips the knee again! The Pedigree hits! HHH covers and gets a pin for the first fall.

SECOND FALL (Steel Cage)- HHH quickly goes out, gets another table and slides it in the ring before the cage is lowered. Fink lets us know this fall will be pin or escape rules. No cage lowering music? Shame. Trash can shot to Shawn's head as the cage comes down. HHH props the table up in the corner. Both guys block shots into it. HHH blocks a Shawn dropkick and slingshots Shawn into the cage! Now Shawn is busted open. HHH sees it and punches away on the cut. Another trash can shot for Shawn. Cheese grater spot! Another cage shot. After a backdrop counter Shawn reverses and gives HHH a couple of cage shots, then a clothesline. Thesz press from Shawn! Hi Steve Austin wherever you are right now. HHH is still up first and climbs up the cage. Shawn drags him back down. HHH gives him a shot on the cage top and climbs again, getting horizontal on the top. Shawn gets back up and stops him, then hops up himself. Slugfest on the top of the cage! While that's going on we see Flair is back out. HHH almost screws himself by punching Shawn so hard he nearly falls to the floor, which would give Shawn the fall. HHH tells Flair to do something. Hey, another table. Why not? That's three out there now. Flair sets it up on top of the other two. Now Flair gets a fourth to make it a double wide, double high table stack. HHH and Shawn are clearly stalling while Flair gets all this hardware set up. Then they go back inside the cage. HHH falls crotch first on the top rope. Shawn elbow drop off the top rope! He starts tuning up the band. Flair unlocks the door to get in the cage. He comes at Shawn with the chair but Shawn dodges him and punches Flair down. While that's happening HHH tries to sneak out the door. Shawn sees and stops him. Then Shawn takes the chair from Flair and hits HHH and Flair with it! FLAIR'S BLEEDING! Hell yes this is a complete package now. Shawn runs Flair into the cage and gives him the cheese grater bit. Shawn stays focused on Flair, giving him mounted punches and blocking his inverted atomic drop counter. HHH finally uses the distraction to hook Shawn up for another Pedigree. Why didn't he just go out the door, he was right there. Ego I guess. HHH then turns around so Shawn can backdrop counter in a clear space. See, a bunch of little things they normally have right just a bit off tonight. Superkick for Flair! Superkick on HHH! Instead of covering Shawn gets the table from the corner and sets it up in the ring. He sets HHH up on it. Shawn climbs up to the top of the cage and looks back down. Big splash off the top of the cage through the table! Shawn gets the pin for the second fall!

THIRD FALL (Ladder Match)- All the talk going into this match was Shawn had a huge advantage if this went to a third fall because it's "Shawn's match". HHH has been in a ladder match before you know, and won it. After the cage is raised a ref gaggle drag Flair's bloodied carcass out. The belt is put on the hook and raised. Shawn already has a ladder in the ring. No time to waste as they've already gone over 30 minutes with just the first two falls. He sets it up in the corner and whips HHH into it. Shawn runs HHH over with the ladder, then drops it on him! Then he suplexes HHH onto the ladder! Well, sort of. HHH did some serious twisting to avoid hitting it too hard. Shawn sets the ladder up in the corner and I'm getting flashbacks to his famous splash off the ladder at WM 10. That's what it looks like he's setting up for. And what he goes for, but HHH dodges! HHH hits another Pedigree! Again just barely, whether selling or legit both guys look spent. HHH sets the ladder up and starts the slow climb. Shawn grabs his feet to stop him and jerks him back down. Superkick! HHH falls out of the ring! Now Shawn drags himself up to climb. He gets a hand on the belt. HHH pushes the ladder and Shawn crashes through the table stack on the floor! HHH resets the ladder, climbs, and gets the belt to get his baby back. The current WWE Evil Empire is back on top, and he won't give it up again for a while. On the other side, despite challenging multiple times in the years after this Shawn will never hold singles gold again. I said last review you can never, ever go wrong with these two. I guess this is the exception that proves the rule, because as I pointed out at points during the match for whatever reason they just weren't on their A game tonight. It's not bad, but it's definitely disappointing for them. They even clearly lost the crowd during the third fall. As much as I love him I also could have done with a lot less Flair during the second fall. The Summerslam match is still their best so far. **3/4

 

OVERALL SHOW THOUGHTS- December PPVs are always tough because it's usually wheel spinning before the Rumble hits. This is far from the worst of them, but it's no better than OK. WWE's consistent trend throughout 2002, and really the second half of '01 before that, has been an absurdly stacked roster post-WCW buyout consistently putting on good to very good wrestling matches, but with a lot of pretty bad angles being written around them.

OVERALL SHOW GRADE: C