Starrcade 2000

Legacy Review

Starrcade 2000

December 17, 2000 from the MCI Center in Washington, DC

 

Commentary: Tony Schiavone, Scott Hudson and Mark Madden

 

Our end of WCW journey has brought us to the final Starrcade. The real granddaddy of them all, Starrcade was the very first made for closed circuit TV (later PPV) supercard in November 1983, predating the first Wrestlemania by a year and a half. It was the unquestioned biggest show of the year for Jim Crockett Promotions, but following the sale to Turner and creation of WCW it was slowly diminished in importance, in no small part thanks to a run of gimmick based shows (the Iron Man tournaments in '89, the Lethal Lottery and Battlebowl in '91 and '92), and being forced to move from its traditional Thanksgiving slot to December thanks to WWF's hardball scheduling of the first Survivor Series. An attempt was made to push Starrcade back to its former prominence in '97, but we all know how that one turned out. Since then it's continued to be one of several PPVs that could be considered among WCWs top shows with no single one ever getting a clear edge. One of the company's biggest long term mistakes in my opinion, every company needs a definable biggest show of the year.

 

The commentary change from a couple of months ago has been reversed, with Stevie Ray out and Scott Hudson back in. With a somewhat new regime taking over post-Russo the look is getting an overhaul again, with a new Starrcade logo, different looking ring skirts, and even a new simplified WCW logo being used in conjunction with the established (and awful) giant oval with two wings logo. That's what it looks like to me at least.

 

Ladder Match: 3 Count def The Jung Dragons and Evan Karagias & Jamie Knoble in 13:17- I said in my New Blood Rising review that the 3 Count/Jung Dragons 3v3 "Gold Record" ladder match was the last WCW match really remembered for being anything close to good. I think I was thinking of this match instead. Despite the fact this is a team match, the item they're all fighting for is a single reward, a contract for a Cruiserweight title match with new champ Chavo Guerrero Jr (thankfully no longer Lt. Loco). Chavo comes out first and takes the #4 spot in commentary. They start out like a regular tag match, Hayashi and Moore in the ring with everyone else on the apron. Nice quick basic start, until they fluff a running move and Moore drops Hayashi right on his head. Oof. After they visibly check on each other and recover Moore grabs an armbar, then they turn on the jets again. Another muff when Moore has a hard time getting full rotations on a tiltawhirl, then Hayashi falls hard into the bottom rope in a way I don't think he intended. Moore goes for a ladder but Karagais cuts him off. Tags and Yang and Helms take over. Instead of locking up everyone goes for ladders instead, ending the faux tag portion of the match. 3 Count sucker everyone, zigging when everyone else zags, getting a ladder from near commentary instead of in the entrance aisle and making a climb for the contract with no one else around. The Dragons see, push them off the ladder and 360 clothesline them out. K&K then pull the Dragons off the ladder. Yang shotgun dropkicks the ladder into K&K, then Hayashi hits it with a springboard moonsault! Helms comes in with ladder #2. K&K drop toe hold Helms into a ladder propped up in the corner. They go to double flapjack Hayashi onto a ladder but it's another partially blown move that only half hits. Knoble sets the ladder up and starts to climb. His partner Karagias pulls him down! There's only one contract up there. Knoble then pulls Karagias down and they argue and shove. Yang goes up top and missile dropkicks both of them! Knoble gets whipped into a ladder. Yang punches Moore into a sitting position on the corner ladder. Moore tries coming off it, but falls right into a Yang gutbuster. Yang short phoenix splash off the ladder! Helms comes in, tosses Yang out, and hits him with a tope con hilo! That kicks off the EVERYONE DIVE run. Knoble is the smart one, saying screw that and climbing the ladder instead. Until Yang pushes the ladder down and Knoble falls onto everyone on the floor! Yang sets up a ladder bridge from the upright ladder in the middle of the ring to the top rope. Before he can do anything Karagias comes in and back suplexes him down. Karagias gets up on the ladder bridge. Hayashi tries a springboard move, but Karagias catches him and powerslams him! Moore springboards onto the ladder bridge, and comes off going for what looks like a fameasser, but Karagias doesn't know it's coming and Moore flat runs him over right in the back of the head. Helms and Knoble get up onto the bridge. Helms swinging neckbreaker off the bridge! Moore takes the bridge down and we have two ladders side by side. He and Yang fight up them. Helms and Knoble join them in the slugfest. Knoble sunset bombs Helms. Yang and Moore both get to the ladder tops, but are more interested in slugging each other than going for the contract. Moore hits a neckbreaker off the ladders. Knoble climbs again. Leia Meow comes in and pulls him down! Karagias runs her off. He's also introduced a third ladder. And Yang has a fourth. Karagias props a ladder up in the corner and climbs up to go for something crazy. Yang cuts him off with a shotei (hi Jushin Liger) and the Dragons double team powerbomb him back down. Now the Dragons use all four ladders to made a scaffold like structure in the middle of the ring. 3 Count attack them after they're finished. They throw Hayashi into the structure and the whole thing nearly collapses. 3C manage to save it. Yang into it and this time they knew to hold it together. K&K cut 3C off before they can really start to climb. Knoble and Hayashi get on the bridge part. Hayashi kicks Knoble down, but Karagias knocks him down. Now Yang pushes Karagias, who FLIES off over the top rope down to the floor! Hayashi and Helms wobble fight on the bridge. Moore does a skin the cat on the bridge to headscissors Hayashi down! Then skin the cats himself onto the bridge! Helms dumps Knoble down. Both 3C guys are on the bridge under the contract. They take it at the same time! A team to the end. Chavo and Madden bitch about it, but I think they found a genius loophole to make it a triple threat. That was a fantastic train wreck spotfest. They had a few really ugly botches, but the overall hit/miss ratio was much more to the good side. The first, and likely only, WCW ladder match that came close to the all time classics the Dudleyz, Hardyz and Edge & Christian were putting on in WWF at the same time. ****

 

Looks like we're doing the crazy rapid fire backstage segments between matches like the last PPV. Like last time, I have no idea what the story is supposed to be on most of these and they're too short to figure it out. The clearest one has Jim Duggan polishing his board (not a euphemism) and Lance Storm trying to convince him that he needs to stay with Team Canada for the good of his career, Americans will never take him back.

 

Lance Storm (w/Major Gunns and Elix Skipper) def Ernest "The Cat" Miller (w/Ms Jones) in 7:24- After spending the middle part of the year as a triple champion Storm's fallen to this, a match with Ernest Miller. Storm goes the obvious route in his usual prematch promo, chastising the US needing 37 days to decide the presidential election. Don't blame us, that was all Al Gore refusing to accept he lost. It was extremely close, but he lost and every recount and rerecount he asked for showed it. Miller comes out with the Red Shoes of Dancing Death already on, which I guess means he's super serious or something. He and Jones dance before the bell. Jawing and shoving after the bell while commentary wonders where Duggan is. Finally we lock up. Storm grabs a waistlock. Miller armdrags free and celebrates. He should, he actually pulled off a wrestling move. Arm wringer exchange that turns into Miller strikes. Gunns grabs Miller's foot and Storm back elbows him. He slides out to keep Jones from going after Gunns, leading to another chest bumping exchange with Miller on the floor. Is that all they're interested in doing or are we going to have an actual match? Oh, they're killing time for the women to get in the ring. Storm and Miller get back in to keep them from fighting, angering the crowd. Storm then jumps Miller from behind. Clothesline from Storm. Miller tries to fire back with more strikes but Storm jawbreakers him. He goes for a suplex but Miller counters with a small package for 2. Angry clothesline from Storm for 2, then he hooks on a chinlock. Miller comes back again and pops Storm up for a very unconventional inverted atomic drop. Skipper hops up on the apron, attacks Miller and drags him out to the floor. Miller unloads on him but Storm jumps him from behind again. Jones tries to kick Storm, but Storm ducks and bald ref gets decapitated. That's all this match needed. Gunns comes over and dropkicks Jones and here's the cat fight. Back in Storm hits a springboard missile dropkick but there's no ref. Miller hits a kick combo for 2. Storm hits a northern lights suplex for 2. Here comes Duggan. He still looks conflicted. He gets in the ring behind Miller's back, teases hitting him with the 2x4, drops it, then hits Miller in the back anyway to the boos of the crowd. Storm puts on the half crab and Miller submits. Usual Miller overbooked smoke and mirrors match with almost no chance for Storm to try to carry him to anything decent. 1/2*

 

After the bell a still very conflicted looking Duggan reluctantly poses with Team Canada. The rest of the team jump him from behind! They turned on him before he could turn on them. Smart. That's what happens when you have a leader like Lance Storm. Miller fights off all of Team Canada, but is still upset with Duggan for costing him the match and leaves.

 

Buff Bagwell is doing backstage interviews now. Wonder if he got hurt again. Still, it's a better spot for him if he has to be on TV. 

 

WCW Hardcore Championship: Terry Funk def Crowbar (c) (w/Daffney) in 9:17- Funk's back after a short time away. This is also the first PPV Daffney's been on in a bit. This starts with Daffney and Crowbar arguing in the back because Daffney refuses to match Crowbar's '70s outfit (Mike Awesome should have called gimmick infringement). When Crowbar walks away from her Funk ambushes him with a fire extinguisher shot. Guess we're doing that "start in the back and fight to the ring" thing again. Funk pounds Crowbar against one of the 18 wheeler truck trailers and covers him for 2 while Daffney screams in the distance. He puts Crowbar on an anvil case and meekly rolls him toward...nothing. They get in the back of a trailer and Crowbar hits Funk with something that was in there, then bounces him off the trailer walls. Crowbar then pulls the not at all gimmicked ceiling off and a bunch of stuff falls on Funk. Including what looks like a picnic basket, which is freaking hilarious. Funk does some of his classic wobbelegging, teasing falling out of the trailer to the floor. Then he hiptosses Crowbar out and through a table! Low blow from Crowbar to turn things back around. He has what looks like a van door and hits Funk with it. He slams a door on Funk's head. Daffney gives Crowbar handcuffs. Funk fights him off and smashes Crowbar's head in the door. Funk gets the handcuffs and puts them on Crowbar, then gives him a bunch of chairshots to the head. Through the curtain to the stage and Funk has the van door, hitting Crowbar with it. And more chairshots to the head. Funk goes under the ring and gets a table that's clearly been shall we say loosened in the middle to break easier. Crowbar gets set up on it and Funk goes up to the apron. Daffney gets Crowbar off the table before Funk can do anything. Funk chases Daffney down and grabs her. Crowbar comes from behind and gives Funk some chairshot receipts, then chokes him with the handcuffs. Now Funk is on the table. Crowbar slingshot splash from the ring puts Funk through the table! But it only gets a 2 count. They get in the ring. Daffney gets a chair and throws it in Funk's face. Crowbar covers for 2. Funk gets the chair and works Crowbar over again. The van door is in the ring too. Funk piledrives Crowbar onto the door! As Daffney cries Funk covers and gets the pin to win the Hardcore title back. Decent little plunder brawl that unlike a lot of WCW hardcore matches was logically laid out with a flow and story instead of just a bunch of random weapon shots. One of Funk's better 2000 WCW matches for sure. **

 

Big Vito & Reno (w/Marie) and KroniK no contest in 8:18- My hopes are not high here. There's a longer term story going on of KroniK acting as hired mercenaries, being paid by persons unknown to take people out. Wonder if it's Sean Peyton. Before the match Adams takes a mic and implies it's Marie, which means it's not. Back and forth double teaming start. Vito powerslam/legdrop combo on Clarke for 2. Oh, Reno and Vito are being billed as brothers now. That's nice. After a couple of minutes in peril Clarke decides he's done enough selling and takes over with a double underhook suplex on Vito. Vito then fires back with a couple of kicks as Adams starts to stalk Marie on the floor. Vito sees and goes out to help, which lets KroniK take him out again. Adams seemingly doesn't care at all about the match, he's still arguing with Marie. Clarke is doing all the work. Oh, then Adams gets in the ring with Vito without a tag. Wee ginger ref is completely overmatched here. Vito takes the full nelson slam and Reno saves the pin. Double tackle from KroniK. Clarke back suplex for 2. Natural Born Thrillers make their way out as Vito fights out of a chinlock. Adams cuts the tag off to keep him in peril. Vito fights off a double team and tries to hit a double DDT, but KroniK fight it off and hit a double big boot. Clarke and Vito try to do the simultaneous crossbody spot. It doesn't go well. Both sides tag. Reno turns around and hits Vito with Roll of the Dice! HAHAHAHAHA all that for that freaking swerve. Did Russo sneak into the building and scribble that on the rundown sheet in crayon? Then Reno covers his own partner and ginger ref counts the pin and calls for the bell. Fire his ass. Marie is beside herself and no one seems to know what's going on. Then Reno tosses what commentary assumes is an envelope of money to KroniK. Guess that answers that. Reno then joins Natural Born Thrillers, also explaining their appearance. KroniK then hit their big moves on Vito to get some heat back after all that. 1/4*

 

Mean Gene is with 3 Count, trying to get an answer on which one will get the Cruiserweight title shot tomorrow night. Helms says 3 Count won, so 3 Count get the title shot. Chavo storms the interview and attacks them both. 

 

Ambulance Match: Mike Awesome def Bam Bam Bigelow in 8:35- After introducing the ambulance Awesome slides in the ring and pretty much lets Bigelow jump him. Commentary says it's typical throw your opponent into the ambulance to win rules. We'll see if that sticks or not. Avalanche from Bigelow. Awesome fires back with a fallaway back elbow off the second rope (same kind that Ted DiBiase always missed) and 360 clotheslines Bigelow out. Weak floor brawling follows with Bigelow, as good as he was in his prime, continuing to look completely past it. Awesome hits Bigelow with the bell, then gets a chair and whacks Bigelow with it. Bigelow literally picks up someone's drink off the floor under the guardrail and tosses it in Awesome's face, then gives him a chairshot. Some more really awful back and forth chair brawling in the aisle. They go up and Awesome knocks Bigelow against the ambulance. Both guys fight off attempts to get them in the ambulance, with Awesome hitting a low blow to get free. Push from Bigelow and Awesome takes a halfway decent shot against the ambulance. Awesome ducks and Bigelow punches a back window out! Fortunately gimmicked glass, unlike that car window Goldberg tore an artery open punching last year. Bigelow wanders back down the aisle and gives Awesome some more chairshots as a "boring" chant gets going. All the way back to the ring as we sadly reset the match, which can only be won at the ambulance. Bad layout. Even commentary calls it out. DDT from Bigelow. Awesome takes some shots on the announce table. Bigelow slips and falls while trying to take a bump against the stairs. Awesome goes under the ring and gets a table. He props it up vertically against the ring apron, then sets Bigelow up in front of it. Charge and Bigelow backdrops Awesome into the table. Bigelow sets Awesome onto the ambulance hood, then tears the siren lights off the roof and tries to use them as a weapon. Awesome gets the lights and hits Bigelow with them. Bigelow falls THROUGH THE ROOF into the ambulance! Well, he's in the ambulance. Awesome wins. Total trash match, but pretty clever finish. 3/4*

 

WCW United States Heavyweight Championship: Gen. Rection (c) def The Franchise by DQ in 9:46- Given what these two have been doing separately in the ring lately this is looking like the anti-worker's title. Random crowd jersey observation: dude in the Emmitt Smith jersey in Redskins country. Bravest man in Washington. Though not as much as my recent Disney World trip. Guy wearing an Acolyte shirt in Batuu, that was the bravest man in Disney, Orlando and probably central Florida that day. Respect for him standing up for his opinions, even if The Acolyte is irredeemable trash and a cancerous polyp on the ass of Star Wars. Anyway. Sadly that rant will probably be more entertaining than anything in this match. Douglas attacks Rection from behind before the bell. Stomps and chokes in the corner. Chops start to fire Rection up and he gives Douglas some receipt chops. Clothesline from Rection and THE MIA SHIRT IS OFF. Not on the level of Angle, or even Nash, taking the straps down. Rection gears up for a big avalanche or something in the corner. Douglas pulls ref Lil' Naitch in the way and Rection hits the brakes. Going the other way Rection hits a corner clothesline and they go to the floor for some of the usual ringside knockaround. Douglas pulls the middle rope up into Rection's crotch as he's getting back in the ring. Three times in case anyone missed the point. Rection quickly starts to hulk up again and hooks on a bear hug. Once again, it's so hilarious commentary trying to hype up Hugh freaking Morris as some kind of super babyface. Douglas bites to get free, but runs right into another bear hug. Douglas falls on his shoulders and Rection gets a near fall, then lets go of the hold. No, just a reposition. It's back on. Douglas again bites and bell rings out, then tries a slam but Rection falls on top of him for 2. Setup slam and Rection goes up top. Douglas pops up and knocks him back down into the ring. Reverse neck snap from Douglas. Piledriver. Swinging neckbreaker and an extremely slow cover for 2. Now Douglas puts on the neck crank. After Rection gets free he hits the ropes and Douglas flat misses a clothesline swing that Rection sells anyway. Press slam from Rection and Douglas goes to the floor. Rection picks Douglas up on the floor, then it looks like inadvertently hits Douglas' head against the ring post. And WCW at this time didn't have those smooth posts, there's that little bit on the back like an extra leg or something. That's what Douglas hit, and it cut him open. Planned or not, Rection runs with it and pounds on the cut. Another weak slam from Rection. He goes for the moonsault but Douglas dodges. He gets his chain out of his tights. Rection ducks a chain shot and hits a back suplex. Now ex-MIA member Chavo comes out. He picks the chain up and tosses it to Douglas. Douglas goes to use it, but Lil' Naitch sees it and calls for a DQ. Think Douglas fell for one of the classic Guerrero setups there. After the bell Douglas attacks Rection with the chain, then punches out Chavo when he tries to get involved. Franchiser for both guys. Now what's left of MIA runs in to make the save. Right on the level of the matches these two have been putting on the past 6 months or longer. DUD

 

Hahahaha another 1997 style Glacier promo, just like at Mayhem. "Glacier is coming.....again". At least it's self aware. 

 

Bunkhouse Brawl Street Fight: The Harris Brothers & Jeff Jarrett def The Filthy Animals (w/Tygress) in 12:35- You read that right, this is an attempt to merge a Bunkhouse Brawl and Filthy Animals themed street fight into one genetic freak of a match, like a crazed science experiment. There's all kinds of crap around the ring, including a chair with some weapons under it, a wheelbarrow, I kid you know a full popcorn machine, and a graffiti covered trash can. To top it off there's a literal bar inside the ring, with two stools. Oh hell, there's a shopping cart full of smashed aluminum cans too. Who put this together? Jarrett tosses the trash can at the Animals during their entrance and it's on with everyone brawling all over the place. The Harrisies break the bar stools over Konnan and Kidman's heads. Someone tosses the shopping cart toward the ring and the smashed cans go freaking everywhere. Oh great, Tygress is on commentary again. That went so well last time. Turns out there's two graffiti trash cans and Mysterio and Jarrett get in a sword fight with them in the ring. After a couple of minutes it reaches a point where they've already used so much stuff everyone's kind of wandering around not sure what to do next. Kidman stuffs Jarrett's face in the popcorn machine and the popcorn goes everywhere. Pity the ring crew having to clean all this up. Mysterio hits the shitty bronco buster on both Harrisi. Jarrett blocks it with a boot to the crotch. Jarrett sets Kidman up for a superplex through the bar. Mysterio low blows Jarrett, then he and Kidman slam Jarrett through the bar! Another big one for the cleanup crew. That thing was not small. I don't understand how they didn't save that for the finish, now they have to clear all that debris out of the ring before they can do anything else. One of the Harrises gets bulldogged into a trash can. Mysterio splashes a large wrong way sign into the Harriseseses. Kidman and Mysterio hit a few of their double teams, with the ref having to do a crazy dance to get out of the way. Madden says it's "lucha spots in the middle of Vietnam", his one decent line for the night. Overall he hasn't been *quite* as bad as usual tonight though. Still painful to listen to most of the time, but not quite as painful. After some cool back and forth stuff Jarrett drops Mysterio out of the ring into a plastic dumpster! The heels get Kidman isolated and works him over. For some reason the ref decides to start enforcing tags and the heels start doing it. Tony thinks it's ludicrous and I'm with him on that. Kidman stays in peril as they start to work a more normal tag match because they've already run out of weapons. Kidman does his faceplant powerbomb counter but the tag is cut off. I still can't believe this has suddenly turned into a normal match out of nowhere. Jarrett puts the sleeper on. Arm drops and Kidman fights back up. He puts a sleeper on Jarrett, flips out of the counter, and hits a Dudley Dog style bulldog. Tag to Konnan. Mysterio is still dead in the dumpster by the way. Hot tag rolling clotheslines on everyone from Konnan, but then the Harrisi hit him with the H-Bomb. Here comes a table. Already smashed that whole damn bar, I don't think a table is going to impress anyone now. Mysterio is alive and out of the dumpster with a broom. He clotheslines the Harriseseses off the top rope with it. Guess we're back to the plunder brawl. Jarrett gets set up on the table, after some repositioning. The Harrises catch Mysterio and slam him through the table! Kidman comes in with a missile dropkick on Jarrett, then he low bridges the Harrises out. Sit out powerbomb on Jarrett. Kid Crusher! Kidman drags Jarrett to the corner. A Harris hits Kidman with a bottle! Jarrett hits the Stroke and gets the pin. A decent chaos plunder brawl, but it needed some serious rethinking and massaging in the layout department. **1/4

 

Bagwell is in the back with DeWayne Bruce. In early '90s WCW he wrestled under the name Sgt. Buddy Lee Parker, but for years now he's been the head trainer at WCW's Power Plant wrestling school, where he's affectionately, or "affectionately", known as Sarge. Sarge hypes up the young guys in general, but specifically calls out Goldberg for extra praise. Before he can get much further Lex Luger comes in and attacks him! Bagwell quickly ushers Luger off. 

 

WCW World Tag Team Championship: The Insiders def The Perfect Event (c) (w/Mike Sanders) in 12:04- Nash and DDP defeated Perfect Event for the tag titles at Mayhem, but right after on Nitro WCW Commissioner and Perfect Event's Natural Born Thrillers stablemate Mike Sanders reversed the decision and handed the belts back to his partners in a blatant show of heel corruption. So we're running the exact same match back this PPV, no additional stipulations or anything. Well, I spoke too soon. After all the entrances WCW CEO Ric Flair comes out and tells Sanders that he may have a manager's license, but if he takes "one step toward the ring" then Perfect Event forfeit the match and the Insiders win the titles. Managers usually stand right next to the ring, how could he take an additional step toward the ring? Then as he's leaving Flair quickly corrects himself to "one foot in the ring". Better. Of course Sanders interfered in the last match without ever getting in the ring. Nash and Palumbo start. Lockup! Palumbo takes the corner cheap shot and pounds Nash down. Nash reverses a corner whip and hits a trio of corner clotheslines. Usual Nash corner knees and elbows. Palumbo fires back with a clothesline and celebrates. Nash dodges an elbow drop, tags out, and DDP comes in with a clothesline off the top rope on Palumbo for 2. Palumbo grabs the ropes and bails to regroup. Back in Stasiak and DDP do some back and forth stuff with a ton of corner whip reversals. DDP slides down and crotches Stasiak on the post, but then Stasiak jumps him getting back in the ring. DDP belly to belly suplex for 2. Stasiak pushes out of a Diamond Cutter attempt, but coming back off the ropes DDP hits a uranage for 2. DDP calls for the Cutter. Palumbo comes in and superkicks him to save Stasiak. That puts DDP in peril, just like the last match. Like Nash was ever going to do this part of the match. DDP tries to fight off a double team but Palumbo belly to bellys him for 2. Another comeback attempt is cut off by a Palumbo knee to the gut. He mockingly lets DDP get halfway across the ring before kicking him back, then they work the ref so Stasiak can choke DDP in the corner. DDP tries to fight out of the corner, then falls on Stasiak's crotch. Another DDP fight out of the corner. Discus lariat on Palumbo. Stand up slugfest and both guys hit punches and go down. That got the crowd into it. Palumbo goes to a desperation low blow to keep DDP from tagging. One last push off from DDP and the tag is made! Nash hits side suplexes on both guys. 360 clothesline on Stasiak. Big boot for Palumbo. Sanders low blows DDP on the floor. Didn't get in the ring, still got involved. Stasiak hits a clothesline off the top rope on Nash and Palumbo jackknife covers him for a long 2. Sanders has also put one of the tag belts in the ring. Sanders gets on the apron and Nash punches him off. Was that one foot in the ring? Nash should have let him in, that would have been the match. Belt shot from Stasiak on Nash. DDP blocks a belt shot on the floor and Cutters Stasiak, then pulls Palumbo off Nash. The other Natural Born Thrillers guys come out. DDP overcomes the numbers to take them out. Another Nash big boot on Palumbo. The straps are down. Jackknife and the Insiders win the titles again. Good formula tag stuff, definitely better than the Mayhem match. The crowd was even into most of it, very much a rarity in 2000 WCW. DDP makes a great Ricky Morton in tag matches. ***

 

No Holds Barred: Goldberg def "The Total Package" Lex Luger in 7:17- Last month they seemed to be building to a Goldberg/Steiner World title match for Starrcade, which would have been as much a Starrcade worthy main event as the company was capable of putting on right now, but in the interim Sid decided to come back and got thrown right back in the title picture, so we're getting this rematch from Mayhem instead. As was the case the last couple of PPVs, Goldberg is still under old orders from Russo that he must match his original streak or he's fired. Luger tries to hide on the floor but Goldberg tracks him down and attacks him to get things going. Announce table shots for Luger as Goldberg gives him the usual ringside knockaround. In the ring for the first time, Luger tries to reverse a whip but Goldberg just short clotheslines him instead. He hits his armdrag suplex and Luger begs off. Powerslam. Luger rolls out and says he's done. Goldberg jumps him again in the aisle. Luger slips off Goldberg's shoulder and pushes him into the post, literally Luger's first offense the whole match. Goldberg dodges a chairshot. Sarge makes his way out to ringside, looking for revenge from Luger's earlier attack, with Bagwell trying to talk him out of it. While they argue Goldberg hits a tackle in the ring and sets up for the spear. Like the last match, Luger pulls the ref in the way, but this time Goldberg sees and stops. Bagwell pulls the ref away from Luger, but Luger hides in the ropes to avoid the spear. Sarge tries to take a shot at Luger but Luger beats him to it. Oh, Luger's got his brass knucks out. That's why Sarge went down so quick. Knucks shot for Goldberg while the ref is still with Bagwell. Cover and Goldberg, of course, kicks out. Now Bagwell is in the ring set up for the Blockbuster. Gee, I wonder what's going to happen here. Luger ducks and Bagwell Blockbusters Goldberg. It seemingly wasn't intentional, Bagwell is pissed at himself for missing. Luger tosses Bagwell out. Luger calls for the Torture Rack. Goldberg hooks the top rope to block it. Swinging neckbreaker. Meanwhile on the floor, Bagwell takes Sarge out. Maybe he meant it after all. Spear on Luger. Bagwell is choking Sarge. Jackhammer and LOL Goldberg wins again. They saw how much the last match sucked so they overbooked the shit out of this one. I suppose it moderately helped. 1/2*

 

After the bell Bagwell lays Goldberg out with a chair to officially turn back heel. Yes, this is setting up a tag match at the next PPV believe it or not.

 

WCW World Heavyweight Championship: Scott Steiner (c) (w/Midajah) def Sid Vicious in 10:12- That's a lot of unhinged crazy in the ring. I'd like to say the promos leading up to this match were train wreck entertaining horrible, you'd think so with these two, but sadly I don't think there was anything memorable in them. Sid's switched to long tights. Weird. Sid did have a small claim to a title shot after coming back, he was the World champion when the infamous reboot took place in the spring so technically he was never defeated for the title. Quick start from Steiner at the bell and he lays in some fairly stiff looking shots. Sid reverses in the corner and Sid hits mounted punches, then blocks Steiner's counter attempt and hits a clothesline. Another clothesline and side suplex. Steiner quickly gets out of a cover before 1 and gets the hell out of town to get some space. Back in Steiner wants a test of strength. Sid goes for it and Steiner quickly puts him down. And there we stay for a while. Guess that start was too quick for them. Eventually Sid gets up and uses the position to hit a northern lights suplex for 2. A smart counter? From SID? I'm aghast. Flummoxed even. Legdrop from Sid for 2. Big boot and Sid clotheslines Steiner 360 to the floor. Out there Steiner begs off and Midajah hits Sid with the lead pipe. Steiner gets a chair and works Sid over with it. Is that a kid in the front row with a Kordell Stewart jersey? Slash! Loved that guy. Back in Steiner hits the Steinerline/elbow drop combo and does some push ups. Backbreaker and Steiner poses and jaws with the fans. Belly to belly suplex. The Steiner Recliner is on. Sid's too close to the ropes and gets a rope break. Suplex from Steiner and he puts the Recliner on again. Sid starts to power up. Midajah get on the top rope and goes for a crossbody, but Sid ducks and Steiner takes it. Sid hits the chokeslam, but can't cover right away and Steiner kicks out. Commentary is definitely in "we know this sucks so we're trying even harder to act like it's some huge epic" mode. Sid puts on a cobra clutch. Steiner's lead pipe is also laying in the ring. Steiner flat punches out bald ref so he can't submit, then Sid slams him. Cover but no ref. Midajah distracts Sid and Steiner whacks him in the back with the pipe. More pipe shots. Lil' Naitch runs in to count and Sid kicks out. Now Jeff Jarrett is out here. Sid ducks the guitar shot and Steiner takes it. Jarrett pulls Lil' Naitch out before he can count 3, but Naitch does an awesome little dodge to slide back in the ring and count again. The extra time let Steiner kick out. Sid hooks up for the powerbomb. Steiner low blows to get free, then hits a straight Greco Roman Nut Punt. Again, WCW refs letting all that go. T-bone suplex. The Recliner is on again. Sid passes out and Naitch calls it. Typical Sid main event, and Steiner wasn't exactly setting the world on fire either. 1/4*

 

OVERALL SHOW GRADE- This show was actually fairly well received when it took place and even gets some decent more modern reviews, but the only real plus I can see is it's slightly better than most of the rest of 2000 WCW. Not a ringing endorsement. It does have one of the best ladder matches in WCW history, which isn't nothing, but the bulk of the show is some variation or another on the usual end of life WCW trash. So closes WCW's final full year of existence. The company will zombie lurch into 2001 with a few more months of life, while rumors started to swirl about exactly what the future held.

OVERALL SHOW GRADE: D+

Mayhem 2000

Legacy Review

Mayhem 2000

November 26, 2000 from the MECCA in Milwaukee, WI

 

Commentary: Tony Schiavone, Stevie Ray and Mark Madden

 

We're now officially into the post-Russo portion of end of life WCW. As I mentioned the last review, Russo suffered a concussion after booking himself to be World champion for a week in October (the less said about that the better), knew the company was in an irreversible death spiral and decided the best long term move for him was to stay home and milk it for all it was worth. He'd never return to WCW. In his absence, booking has been undertaken by even more of a committee than usual for the company. Reports vary, but I think most agree the most prominent figures putting these final PPVs together were John "Johnny Ace" Laurinaitis and Terry Taylor. Not a bad combo really. Both were successful veteran wrestlers, Taylor in particular was one of those guys that almost never had a bad match in his life, and both would go on to have prominent and longtime backstage roles in WWE. But these ships are not course changed overnight.

 

WCW Cruiserweight Championship: Mike Sanders (c) def Kwee Wee (w/Paisley) in 7:47- Sanders' nickname is "Above Average" which is so hilarious. It's like if Daniel Bryan started proudly calling himself a B+ player instead of having it put on him as an insult. Double hilarious because if you look at Sanders' career calling it even average is a stretch. Sanders takes a mic before the bell, says some stuff and slaps Wee. Wee responds with a running Thesz press as the bell rings. Speed run and Wee hits a hiptoss/dropkick combo and clotheslines Sanders 360 to the floor. Sanders has already had enough and teases taking a walk, then calls out his Natural Born Thrillers stablemates. All 28 of them. Mark Jindrak hits Wee with a clothesline off the top rope and the group work the ref to do the gang beatdown. Jindrak and Stasiak lift Wee up on the floor and Sanders grabs him in the ring and powerslams him! OK, that was pretty cool. Meanwhile, Paisley's gone to get some help and here comes Meng, complete with the huge '70s afro he was sporting at the time. All of NBT against Meng? NBT's gonna need some more guys to make it even. If it was a real fight. The complete focus on TV is Meng fighting off the NBT guys and we see nothing of what's going on in the ring. Now new WCW CEO Ric Flair comes out with security to break the fight up and get everyone but the wrestlers in the match back to the back. Finally cut back to the match with Sanders hitting a snap mare/PK combo. And then it's chinlock time. Couldn't you have done that while all the outside fighting was going on? That's below average planning, not above average. Wee hits a springboard sunset flip for 2. Sanders pops back up with a clothesline and puts on a cobra clutch. Wee gets free and hits a Saito suplex. Slugfest while Madden and Ray bitch at each other to the point I'm already sick of them one match in. Kneelift and clothesline from Wee as he starts up the comeback. Mounted punches. He goes for a sunset bomb on the floor. Sanders blocks it and turns it into a hurricanrana on the floor! Two cool moves in this, I'll give them that. Paisley gets on the apron and slaps Sanders. Then she takes off her afro wig, gives it to Wee, and Wee tries to put it on Sanders (it falls off) and punches him. I guess that's a thing for Wee but not watching weekly TV I don't get it at all. Paisley then comes in and hits a handspring elbow in full view of the ref. Guess we're still doing the Russo "relaxed DQ" thing. Sanders flips over Wee, hits the 3.0, and that gets the pin. We only saw half the match because of all the focus on the extras brawling on the floor, and the second half we did see was only passable at best. Not above average. *1/4

 

Mean Gene is in the back with Flair, who declares from now on "unless you're in a featured match" (definition?) there's no one allowed at ringside, other than valets and managers. Any more caveats you want to throw in there?

 

Elsewhere, Disco Inferno (in a Randy Moss jersey) is complaining that his back is hurting and is negotiating with KroniK to replace him teaming with Alex Wright tonight. KroniK says he's got enough money to get one of them for 15 minutes. Disco splits the difference and says he'll take both of them for 7 minutes and 30 seconds tonight. KroniK agrees, but not "one second more".

 

Back with Mean Gene, Evan Karagias and Jamie Knoble bond over their shared North Carolinian heritage, until Knoble realizes the hot cheerleader Karagias is bragging about boinking in high school is Knoble's sister.

 

Three Way Dance: 3 Count def The Jung Dragons (w/Leia Meow) and Evan Karagias & Jamie Knoble in 10:54- These two eternally feuding trios have broken apart to form three regular sized teams, with Karagias leaving 3 Count and Knoble unmasking, revealing himself as not at all Japanese and leaving the Dragons. There's a loud "boring" chant during the remaining 3 Count members' prematch promo. The Dragons jump Knoble & Karagias (K&K) during their entrance and the big brawl is on. The Dragons and 3 Count do some fun stereo back and forth stuff in the ring for a bit until the Dragons backdrop 3C over the top to the floor. Knoble hits a plancha while Karagias takes over on Yang in the ring as things settle in. Powerslam from Karagias for 2. Then he decides to do some dancing, allowing Yang to tag out to Shane Helms in this tag anyone three way match. The former partners go nose to nose, shove and slug it out. Thesz press from Karagias. It's so cool how Austin made that an in vogue move again for a bit. We need more of it today. Big "3 Count sucks" from the crowd. K&K double back elbow Helms and Knoble does some arm work on him. The future Hurricane and trailer trash Noble do some decent back and forth stuff. Knoble has to fight out of the 3C corner. 3C hit a back suplex double team for 2. Noble counters a Moore fameasser attempt into a powerbomb, but then quickly gets taken out by Yang as the Dragons take over on Moore. Hayashi does some nice dodging and hits a spinning backbreaker. Moore hits him with a fameasser and tags out to Helms. Helms hits a straitjacket German suplex for 2. Hayashi gets a small package, but the ref is distracted. Moore comes in and reverses it for 2. Gutwrench suplex from Helms. He goes up top and gets a sunset flip, but Hayashi rolls through it and hits a great KO kick to Helms head. Tags to both teammates. Yang goes full on hadouken on Moore. He hit the pose for it. K&K come in and Yang takes them both out, but then gets neckbreakered from behind my Moore for 2. We go into a "hit a move, cover, pin broken up, that guy hits a move, repeat" sequence. And then we smoothly transition into EVERYONE DIVE time. Leia Meow even gets in on the action, diving off the top rope onto everyone. Knoble goes under the ring and gets a ladder. Yang tries to keep both K&K guys from bringing the ladder in, then DDTs Moore in the ring. Helms uses Yang on the top rope and a launch to big splash Knoble! The Dragons go for a Doomsday Device that gets countered into a double pin situation that was a bit of a mess and even had the ref confused. Thankfully everyone kicked out. 3C hit a double team neckbreaker on Hayashi and that gets the pin. Fun spotfest from six motivated young guys that, unlike the rest of the roster, have mostly delivered every time out. ***

 

As soon as the match ends Tony says "Hang on, we have something going on in the back". Cut to the back and Bam Bam Bigelow is assaulting Mike Awesome with a chair. Sgt. AWOL makes the save. 

 

Mancow (w/entourage) def Jimmy Hart in 1:38- Lord help us we're really doing this again. Back at Spring Stampede in Mancow's hometown of Chicago these two had a "match". I can't believe we're running this back again. Copy and paste from my Spring Stampede review because that's all he deserves: "Thankfully he's faded into obscurity now, so for the 95% of those reading that blissfully don't know, Mancow was one of the more successful Howard Stern wannabe shock jocks in the '90s. Just hearing his name could almost force me to have an involuntary eye roll strong enough to cause whiplash, much less hearing his voice". Mancow's got his clan of freaks with him again, and again I don't give a rat's testicles who any of them are. Hart comes out with a cast on his leg trying to claim he's hurt from their last match. Taking as long to heal as Cowboy Bob Orton's arm. Or Bianca Belair's finger. Seriously, what the hell is going on with that? Mancow says "You're just like Al Gore, you don't know when the hell to go away. I'm George W Bush and I already beat your ass!". Topical. And proof that just because I agree with someone politically doesn't automatically mean I like them. And vice versa. He also blows his "hanging chad" line. Hart tries to attack with the crutch and Mancow's goons swarm him. 3 Count then come out to help Hart, allowing Hart to get on top. Mancow hits Hart with a crutch and takes Hart's fake cast off. With extreme difficulty. Classic Bob Orton cast shot to Hart's head and Mancow wins. Let us never speak of this again. NR

 

After every match so far there's at least three or four rapid fire backstage segments. Nothing has time to breathe and it's almost impossible to stay on top of every little thing that's going on. It's Russo ADD with ADD.

 

Three Way Dance for the WCW Hardcore Championship: Crowbar (c) def Big Vito and Reno in 7:22- Vito and Reno start fighting before Crowbar makes his entrance. Crowbar still looks like a poor man's Kanyon. Vito takes control early with kendo stick and belt shots. He then goes in his bag and gets.....a traffic cone? And a baseball bat. He puts the cone in Reno's crotch and hits it with the bat. Oh, I guess that's how you use a traffic cone in a hardcore match. Fair enough. Then he puts a trash can lid over Crowbar's groin and hits it. I'm sensing a pattern. Reno then hits some can lid shots, and Crowbar actually pulls out a wrestling move, German suplexing Reno. More back and forth weapon shots. Crowbar and Reno decide to team up on Vito. They have a hell of a time setting up and getting in correct position before double flapjacking Vito into a trash can. Vito takes control back with kendo shots on the floor as some "boring" chants echo around. Reno and Vito go through the curtain to the back. Reno clears off a catering table and powerslams Vito through it. Some woman stops Reno from hitting Vito with a chair. Commentary says "That's Marie!". Who the smeg is Marie? Crowbar comes from behind, hits Reno with a chair, and gets the pin. 3/4*

 

Handicap Match: The Filthy Animals (w/Tygress) def KroniK & Alex Wright (w/Disqo) in 7:48- Earlier tonight Mysterio said Konnan isn't here because he partied too hard last night. I'm not joking. That makes it him and Kidman in a handicap match. Remember, Disco paid KroniK to wrestle for exactly 7 minutes and 30 seconds in his place tonight. Tygress is the first person to take the #4 spot in commentary tonight. Wright and Kidman start. No, Wright tags out to Adams. Adams tosses Kidman around when he can get his hands on him. Kidman gets his pop up hurricanrana and an armdrag. Between hitting on Tygress and being annoyed by Disco commentary is paying zero attention to the match. Adams tosses Kidman again out of the corner and presses him up. Kidman eye rakes to get free and puts a sleeper on. Adams easily flips him over into a full nelson and slams him. Now Wright wants to tag in. He covers Kidman for 2. Wright knocks Kidman around and hits a nice dropkick. Kidman dodges in the corner and hits a springboard flying headscissors. Tags on both sides. Now Clarke tosses Mysterio and his stupid devil horns around. Mysterio uses his agility to faceplant Clarke and hit a springboard legdrop for 2. He goes for another springboard and easily gets caught and slammed. KroniK has a stopwatch in the corner, keeping track of the time they've worked. Sit out powerbomb from Clarke on Mysterio, but he doesn't go for a pin. He hooks Mysterio up for the Meltdown, but again Wright wants to tag in now the opponent is down. Vertical suplex from Wright, and he tags right back out. Big boot from Adams on Mysterio. Wright tags in just to cover again. Mysterio comes back with a flying headscissors but Wright puts him back down with a clothesline. Wright goes to tag out, but the clock has expired! KroniK's work is done tonight. The Animals take advantage and double team Wright. The ref doesn't even try to stop it. Kidman hits a sit out powerbomb. They hit their version of the Dudleyz Whazzup Drop, and that gets the pin. Predictable, stupid and commentary the whole match was almost physically painful. *

 

Scott Steiner tells Booker T "death is ratings". I think he meant waiting. Little known Steinerism for you there. 

 

Ernest "The Cat" Miller (w/Ms Jones) def The Franchise (w/Torrie Wilson) in 8:01- To say my expectations are low for this match is an understatement. Douglas, normally an OK wrestler, has been the drizzling shits lately and Miller has never been anything else, at least in the ring. We don't even have Torrie in a Wonder Woman outfit to help us get through it this time. Jump start with Miller in control, kicking Douglas out to the floor. Douglas gets in Jones' face and takes a kick to the head from her. Miller tosses Douglas on the announce table, then goes after Madden! Hell yes, get his ass! If Miller gets Madden off commentary I'll take back just about every bad thing I've ever said about his wrestling acumen, or lack thereof. Torrie grabs Miller's foot as he gets back in the ring, allowing Douglas to ambush him. Ray is still laughing about Madden getting taken out. Douglas hits a suplex, then continues the trend tonight with a straight Greco Roman Nut Stomp right in front of the ref. Torrie gets another shot in. Sadly, Madden is back on commentary. Snap mare into a neck crank from Douglas. After some more dull Douglas offense Miller fights back with throat thrusts and does some mounted punches. Douglas counters with an inverted atomic drop. Another suplex from Douglas and he takes forever to cover for 2. Back to the neck crank. Two way speed run, Miller damn near clotheslines himself on the top rope by ducking too low, and Douglas gets a sunset flip. Miller fights it off, dances and hits an elbow drop. A couple more shots from Miller for near falls. The Feliner kick hits! But Miller doesn't cover, he just collapses next to the ropes. Jones literally pushes him on top for 2. Torrie goes over to Jones and we have our cat fight. They get all the way in the ring and Jones puts Torrie in a chokehold. Ref Lil' Naitch gets her out and we see Douglas has a chain in his hand. He waffles Miller with it. Miller barely gets a foot on the rope before 3. Lil' Naitch pushes Douglas into a roll up for 2. Douglas stomps away on Miller. He goes for a DDT but Miller uses the ropes to block it. Jones goes in her briefcase and puts the Red Shoe of Dancing Death on Miller. Feliner kick with the shoe and that gets the pin. I suppose that could have been a hell of a lot worse, so expectations met I guess. 1/2*

 

Jeff Jarrett discovers ALL HIS GUITARS HAVE BEEN DESTROYED backstage! He has no idea what the hell to do now.

 

PROMO FOR GLACIER! WHAT THE HELL IS THIS, 1997? The funny thing is that's exactly how commentary reacts too. Madden actually has some pretty decent shoot comments about Glacier and his history.

 

Bam Bam Bigelow def Sgt. AWOL in 5:42- Bigelow was supposed to wrestle Awesome but Bigelow took him out earlier tonight. Bigelow comes out, gets a mic and says Awesome's in the hospital so he wins by forfeit. CEO Flair comes out and says that's not happening, calling in AWOL as a replacement. Lockup! First one tonight. AWOL pounds Bigelow down and bites him in the corner. Bigelow comes back with a knee to the gut and Samoan drop for 2. Awesome gets a boot up in the corner to get control again with his scintillating kicky chokey offense. He hooks on a chinlock and climbs up the ropes for leverage, then hits Bigelow with a clothesline off the second rope for 2. AWOL goes for a Saito suplex but Bigelow twists into a cover for 2. DDT and Bigelow goes up top. AWOL dodges the headbutt. Slow motion back and forth stuff follows. Bigelow scoops AWOL up for his finisher but AWOL slips free and hits a heart punch. Instead of covering, AWOL goes out and gets his table. Spinebuster from AWOL. He hooks up for a chokeslam. Bigelow gets free, hits Greetings from Asbury Park, and gets the pin. The table stays unbroken. Bigelow drops to the mat after and the ref calls for help. They do the full stretcher job for Bigelow. Legit or not, I don't know, but Bigelow certainly looked past it during the match. Given the fact Bigelow wrestled again at Starrcade I'm thinking it's all a work. 1/4*

 

Buff Bagwell says that Jarrett has no guitars, and that means he has no game plan. Smartest damn thing Bagwell ever did in his life.

 

WCW United States Heavyweight Championship: Gen. Rection def Lance Storm (c) (w/Major Gunns) in 6:24- This is one of the longest running feuds in the company right now. Jim Duggan did his silly turn to Team Canada in their first match at Fall Brawl, then Rection won the title in a handicap match by pinning Duggan at Halloween Havoc. Storm's since won the title back again on Nitro, and after being a "captive" for months Gunns is now fully on his side. Canadian Stockholm Syndrome. He's also coming in with taped up ribs. Storm claims he's wrestling against doctor's orders, with cracked ribs and a bulging disc. He said disc. No one knows where these supposed injuries came from. Maybe he got in a bar fight with a bunch of Marines. BIGELOW POPS OFF HIS STRETCHER AND ATTACKS RECTION! HE'S ALIVE! Guess that really answers the work or not question. The bell rings and Storm picks the bones of Rection's carcass on the floor. Back in Rection tries to fight back but Storm eye rakes him, then hits a basement dropkick. He starts working on Rection's knee. Post shots for the knee. Rection uses that to push Storm into the barricade and get his first shots in. Storm kicks the knee out again. Back in Storm goes for the half crab to finish it but Rection gets to the ropes before it's on. Storm stays 100% focused on the knee. He tries some kind of corner slide but misses and crotches himself on the post. Gunns doesn't like that and grabs Rection, allowing Storm to clip the knee again. Suplex from Storm for 2. He hits the superkick, but then runs into a powerslam. Guess the knee's OK. Rection goes up top for the moonsault. Gunns gets up and shakes the rope to crotch him. Rection fights Storm off, goes up again, hits the moonsault and gets the pin to win back the title. Lame. It's a testament to how desperate WCW was at this point that they were trying to push Hugh f'n Morris to the moon as some kind of incredible, all-American never say die babyface. The match layout was as basic as you could get too: good guy gets attacked before the bell, spends the whole match having his knee worked on, then shakes it off and comes back to win with a handful of moves. 3/4*

 

Jeff Jarrett def Buff Bagwell in 11:08- Jarrett looks naked without a guitar. Random crowd observation: being in the middle ground of Milwaukee there's both Packers and Bears jerseys in the crowd. Good thing they're not sitting next to each other. Lockup! Bagwell easily wins and does his usual strut and pose. Jarrett gets the first real shots in. Bagwell fires back with the running swinging neckbreaker. Vader bomb for 2. They do a hiptoss reversal sequence and Bagwell hiptosses Jarrett over the top to the floor. Bagwell takes one of Jarrett's foam guitars from a fan and hits Jarrett with it. Jarrett sort of sells it. TV cable choke from Bagwell. Jarrett low blows to get free. He gets a chair and works Bagwell over with it. Back in Jarrett hits a Jerry Lawler shoutout fistdrop off the second rope. He hooks the sleeper on. We go to arm drops and Bagwell fights back up. Sleeper from Bagwell and Jarrett quickly back suplexes free. He goes for another fistdrop off the second rope but falls into Bagwell's boot. Running forearm and clothesline from Bagwell. Double underhook DDT. Bagwell calls for the Blockbuster and goes up. Jarrett ducks and Bagwell splats on the mat! That actually looked good. Bagwell gets a boot up in the corner, hops up again, but instead of the Blockbuster grabs Jarrett for a tornado DDT for 2. Jarrett slides under Bagwell and takes the ref out. Bald ref selling the HELL out of his leg barely getting grazed. Jarrett grabs another chair. David Flair randomly comes in and DDTs Jarrett onto the chair. Bagwell comes back in and covers for 2. Bagwell goes up top and hits a crossbody, but Jarrett rolls through it for 2. Reverse DDT from Bagwell for a long 2. Bagwell ducks a Jarrett crossbody attempt and Jarrett falls out to the floor. But it seems planned as he goes under the ring and gets....a frakking guitar. Of course. Guitar shot, cover and Jarrett gets the win. I quote again: "Broke ten thousand guitars, never drew a dime". *3/4

 

WCW World Tag Team Championship: The Insiders def The Perfect Event (c) in 14:54- DDP recently returned from injury and formed a new superteam with Kevin Nash called the Insiders. Double meaning here, both playing off the Nash/Hall Outsiders name, and one of those insider term references that were all the rage in these days. This is also a deep cut for longtime fans. Way back in 1991 DDP was a full time manager and part time still in training wrestler, and he led a stable in WCW called the Diamond Mine. Nash, in his Vinnie Vegas persona, was part of that group. Who else was? Scott Hall, then known as the Diamond Studd. Perfect Event NTB teammate and, as much as it mattered, current WCW Commissioner Mike Sanders joins commentary before the match. Nash has finally ditched the Wolfpac colors and looks more like Diesel again. The other members of NTB come out with Perfect Event despite Flair's edict. Can a Commisioner overrule a CEO? Oh, the NTB guys are all wearing security shirts. I guess that's the loophole. Big "We want Hall" chant from the crowd after the bell. Sorry, he's looooooooong gone. Nash and Palumbo start. Lockup and quick Nash start. He goes for the jackknife right away and Palumbo gets the hell out of town. Another lockup back in, much more contested this time. Palumbo gets a cheap shot in the corner and goes wild on Nash. Nash responds with his own usual corner shots. Corner clothesline. He catches Palumbo floating over and hits snake eyes. His old Vinnie Vegas finisher. Stasiak tries to come in but the Insiders clear the ring. Madden says Nash "only has three moves". He's insufferably annoying 95% of the time, but he's had a few good shoot comment nuggets tonight. The NTB "security" guys try to come in but the Insiders fight them off. Here comes CEO Flair with Doug Dellinger and the REAL WCW security team. They get most of the NTB guys out, but Sanders shows Flair a card and Flair lets him stay out. Apparently he has a manager's license now. After all that reset in the ring with DDP and Stasiak. DDP works around into a hammerlock. Stasiak crouches down and gets a leg takedown to get free. Speed run and after some counters DDP hits a clothesline. The Insiders bounce Stasiak around with punches. Palumbo then hits DDP from the apron, distracting him enough to let Stasiak hit a DDT for 2. Swinging neckbreaker. Double slingshot suplex from Perfect Event for 2. Discus lariat from DDP but Stasiak breaks the pin up and the champs keep him in peril. Superkick from Palumbo and Nash literally tackles him out of the cover. DDP sunset flips Stasiak and pulls his tights down. Way more than any of us needed to see. Clothesline from Stasiak for 2. Leaping back elbow for 2. Palumbo hits a tackle off the top rope for 2. DDP gets trapped in the wrong corner and tries to fight out, but Palumbo drop toe holds him to keep him from tagging. Stasiak hooks on a front facelock so we all see what's coming. Yup, there's the phantom tag spot. Palumbo puts on a sleeper. DDP fights free and puts on his own sleeper, then hits some kind of slam for 2. Commentary's "What was that?" was a pretty legit reaction I think. DDP barely gets a tag to Nash. Hot tag run time. Side suplexes for everyone. And big boots. The straps are down. DDP comes in and Diamond Cutters Palumbo while Nash hits Stasiak with the jackknife. Sanders pulls the ref out before 3. DDP Cutters Sanders, the ref gets back in and Stasiak has been so killed by the jackknife Nash still pins him to win the titles. OK formula tag stuff once they got all the NTB stuff out of the way. **

 

Goldberg def "The Total Package" Lex Luger in 5:50- They're paying Buffer to work two matches tonight. The way this is set up it seems like a de facto #1 contender's match for the World title. With Russo gone Luger's gotten his real name back. They're still doing the angle where Goldberg has to match his original undefeated streak or he's fired. Lockup and Goldberg cranks arm wringers that are SO CRANKED that Luger takes a rope break. Reset lockup and Goldberg goes to the arm again. This time Luger fights free and hits a back suplex. Goldberg pops right back up, completely no selling it. Luger begs off and tries to hide in the corner, then eye rakes Goldberg and hits a clothesline. Again Goldberg shrugs it off and pounds Luger down in the corner. Luger hits a running forearm with the STEEL PLATE OF DOOM that is either there or not there depending on what the story calls for. Then he clotheslines Goldberg 360 to the floor. Back in Luger hits some more shots until Goldberg reverses a whip, hits a powerslam and does some ground and pound. Goldberg goes for the spear but Luger pulls the ref in the way to take it. Goldberg says fuck it and hits the jackhammer anyway. Bald ref runs in as a backup and counts the pin. That might have been the most pointless ref bump of all time. Just another Goldberg squash match. The bookers are desperately trying to recreate the magic of 1998, while more and more Goldberg proves that's all he is. DUD 

 

Straitjacket Caged Heat Match for the WCW World Heavyweight Championship: Scott Steiner (w/Midajah) def Booker T (c) in 13:10- This is a rematch from Halloween Havoc, a match that ended in a DQ when Steiner, brain trust that he is, kept murdering refs before they could give him a win. I said before, but this is a feud that in a different time and place could have been pretty good and something a company in better shape could have built around. Unlike last time it was advertised, Caged Heat is actually taking place in the near HIAC sized Caged Heat cage (not as tall but wide enough to enclose the whole ringside area). The straitjacket part is there's a straitjacket in the cage, but commentary is unclear as to what its purpose is. Steiner attacks Booker as soon as he gets in the cage. As usual, that does not stop Buffer until he's completely done. Booker fights back and runs Steiner into the stairs. He looks under the ring but doesn't find anything, wanders around and finally attacks Steiner again. Getting in the ring Steiner takes back control and pounds Booker down in the corner. We get a fleeting shot of the straitjacket hung off the roof of the cage, purpose still unknown. Booker fires back with a side kick for 2. Steiner blocks a suplex, drops Booker on the top rope and Steinerlines him down to the floor. Booker takes the first cage shot. The bottom is secured much better than previous times they've used it. Steinerline/elbow drop combo back in and Steiner does some push ups. Backbreaker from Steiner. Belly to belly suplex for 2. He hooks on his Steiner Recliner setup butterfly hold. Booker powers free, hits a kick and goes for the scissors kick but it's cut off by a Steinerline. I think they did that exact sequence in the Halloween Havoc match. Steiner puts Booker up to and hits an avalanche Olympic slam. Hi Kurt Angle. Bear hug time. So, anyone going to do anything with that straitjacket thing? No one's even tried for it. Booker tries to fight out so Steiner inverted atomic drops him and hits another Steinerline. Booker comes off the ropes with a running forearm and goes up top. Missile dropkick for 2. Booker puts Steiner down with a forearm and is the first to go for the straitjacket. Steiner grabs him and gives him another Olympic slam. Steiner goes up, slips off, goes up again and gets the straitjacket. As soon as he does Booker grabs him and drops him in an electric chair. Side kick and Booker gets the straitjacket. He starts putting it on Steiner, realizes he's putting it on wrong and takes it off again. Kneedrop and this time Booker starts putting the jacket on Steiner the right way around. He closes the back but doesn't tie the arms, the whole point of the jacket. Booker goes out, gets a chair, and waffles Steiner in the head with it. Steiner tears the arms off the jacket! He was never fully trapped in it in the first place. Steinerline with a 360 sell. The Steiner Recliner is on! Booker grabs a rope, but Steiner pulls him back away. Booker lifts Steiner and drops him on the top rope. Suplex from Steiner. He comes off the second rope...into a Book End! Slow cover and Steiner kicks out! Clotheslines from Booker. Swinging neckbreaker. Another clothesline for 2. The scissors kick hits! Booker's down too and Steiner goes over and gets the chair. Spinaroonie! Chairshot to the head from Steiner! Full nelson slam. The Recliner is on again. Booker goes out! Lil' Naitch calls it and Scott Steiner wins the World title for the first time! Steiner punctuates his win with some chairshots to Booker's bad knee. Fairly decent match, but the whole straitjacket thing was completely pointless other than to weakly tie into the show's promo material, which featured Steiner breaking out of an insane asylum. They also might as well have put the jacket on a pole because the cage barely factored into the match. **1/4

 

That would turn out to be the final World title change under the full WCW banner. The departure of Russo would finally bring some stability here, as Steiner would hold the title for 120 days, the longest World title reign since Goldberg's first one in '98, before dropping it back to Booker on the very last Nitro, after the WWF sale. Booker would then carry it into WWF for the Invasion angle.

 

OVERALL SHOW THOUGHTS- Even though Russo is gone, many of the typical 2000 WCW issues persist. On top of that, the biggest problem with this particular show is volume. 12 matches on a B PPV with a strict 3 hour runtime is already too much without some kind of hook like a large tournament, and on top of that there's the multiple rapid fire backstage segments between most every match, some as short at 5-10 seconds. By the time you figure out what you're looking at it's already over and off to the next one. It's like they were trying to cram 2 PPVs worth of material into a single show, which was never going to end well.

OVERALL SHOW GRADE: D 

Halloween Havoc 2000

Legacy Review

Halloween Havoc 2000

October 29, 2000 from the MGM Grand Garden Arena in Las Vegas, NV

 

Commentary: Tony Schiavone, Mark Madden and Stevie Ray

 

Another last to check off as our end of WCW journey arrives at the final Halloween Havoc. Created in 1989, Halloween Havoc was one of the "second wave" of PPVs started in the first year after the Turner buyout of JCP, expanding the calendar beyond Starrcade and Great American Bash (the less said about JCP's attempt to make the Bunkhouse Stampede final a PPV in early '88 the better). It's also one of the WCW PPV names that was revived by NXT in the COVID/NXT 2.0 era, sometimes as a special edition of weekly TV, sometimes as a PPV. Sorry, PLE. This final Havoc also marks the one year anniversary of Vince Russo's takeover of WCW creative. Needless to say, I don't think it's gone how WCW or Turner brass hoped. However, we're also at the point that even Russo saw the writing on the wall and decided to jump ship before it crashed completely. During his brief World title run (which I went over in more detail in the Fall Brawl review) he suffered a concussion after taking a spear from Goldberg, and used that as an excuse to stay home and not come back. That was only about a week before this show though, so the whole thing is still pretty much laid out as he left it.

 

We've had some more changes in the booth. Scott Hudson is out, and partially retired as a wrestler Stevie Ray is in. Rumor is Ray getting this spot was a direct result of the discrimination lawsuit he, Booker T and others were threatening to file against Russo and WCW. I get losing Hudson because having two straight play by play guys is pretty redundant, but having the opportunity to get rid of Madden and not doing it makes me even more annoyed I have to listen to his drivel all show.

 

Three Way Dance for the WCW World Tag Team Championship: Natural Born Thrillers (c) def The Boogie Knights and The Filthy Animals in 10:04- Disco Inferno and Alex Wright had nothing else going on so they've reunited as a team, now being called the Boogie Knights instead of the Dancing Fools. This is also Wright's first PPV appearance since the epic disaster that was Berlyn. It's the cruiserweight team of Rey Mysterio and Billy Kidman representing the Animals in this one. Mysterio's got on devil horns, which is....a look. Konnan gets on commentary as if there's not already enough twaddle coming from there. Looks like it's three guys legal rules for this one, but Kidman hangs back in his corner at the start while still bald Wright jumps Jindrak. Wright then holds Jindrak for some chops from Kidman and they double up on him in the corner. Jindrak tries to fight back but they continue to team up on him, until Jindrak gets tossed to the floor and Wright attacks Kidman from behind. Flying headscissors and dropkick in response from Kidman. Mysterio tags in and immediately goes for the shitty bronco buster, but Wright gets his boots up right into Mysterio's crotch. That's what you get for trying to do dumbass moves like that *and* wearing freaking devil's horns while you're doing it. I'm not one for quickly calling out something as being blatantly satanic, but I honestly can't look at that any other way. And I don't like it one bit. Disco comes in and hits a swinging neckbreaker on Mysterio. Jindrak comes back in with a springboard clothesline on Disco, then plants Mysterio with a side suplex. Tag to O'Haire and he goes nuts on both of the other legal guys. Mysterio blocks an O'Haire sunset flip long enough for Disco to come up and DDT him for 2. Now Disco and Mysterio team up on one of the championship team members. They have a disagreement over who gets to make a pin attempt, then Mysterio uses a corner whip sequence to outthink Disco (not hard). Springboard big splash from Mysterio on Disco. Disco Russian leg sweep on O'Haire. Kidman tags in and goes up top. Disco tells him to drop on O'Haire, but Kidman hits Disco with a flying back elbow instead. Wright comes in with a missile dropkick on O'Haire as guys start switching, as far as I can see, without any tags. Now Wright and Jindrak team up on Kidman until Wright turns again on Jindrak. Everyone gets in the corner and we get a three man tower of doom spot with multiple covers for 2. All three guys crawl to their corners and tag. When three guys tag in at the same time who gets the hot tag run? Mysterio hits O'Haire with a springboard legdrop, then Disco tries to powerbomb Mysterio. Mysterio counters into a cover, but O'Haire scoops him up and tosses him out of the ring. Kneelift from O'Haire on Disco as he limps around a bit, which looks legit. I don't exactly trust him to know how to sell a hurt limb. The Thrillers toss Kidman and Mysterio back into the ring from the floor. Things start breaking down after that with everyone fighting in and out of the ring. Mysterio headscissors dumps O'Haire over the top to the floor and everyone starts diving, mostly missed by the cameras. Kidman hits Wright with the Kid Crusher for 2. Mysterio hurricanranas Disco off the top rope, and does the shitty bronco buster on him. Jindrak powers Mysterio up and drops him onto Wright on the floor. Disco Last Dance on Jindrak! Mysterio comes off the top rope with a legdrop to break the pin up. O'Haire then hits a swanton bomb on Mysterio and gets the pin to retain. It threatened to get messy and lose its place several times, but managed to hold together OK and everyone was working. **1/2

 

After the bell Konnan gets attacked and Sgt. AWOL runs out early for his next match to make the save. AWOL gets a table out and the ring crew hangs trash cans of hardcore toys on all four corners to set up for the next match. 

 

WCW Hardcore Championship: Reno (c) def Sgt. AWOL in 10:55- We cut from the recap replays straight to Reno hitting AWOL in the head with a kendo stick. AWOL responds with a big boot. Reno lifts AWOL up and already puts him through the table in the ring for a 2 count. Way to make table spots look pointless. They go to the floor with Reno still in control. He hits AWOL with what looks like an oil pan. Trash can shot to AWOL's head for 2. AWOL finally fires back with a kendo shot. Madden says it sounds like the crack of a "Derek Jeter home run". Dude. Jeter? Guy hit maybe 20 HRs a year. He was good at a lot of things, but power was not one of them. And he's the first name you come up with? Madden is an idiot. AWOL puts a trash can on Reno's head and kicks it into the barricade. Then he goes to do it again against the ring. What was the point of putting all those other weapons inside the trash cans when, as always in WCW hardcore matches, the cans are all they want to use? AWOL drags Reno up the ramp and starts choking him. Reno low blows to get free. He hits Roll of the Dice on the ramp. Reno goes under the stage and gets another table. Oh, two of them. And stacks them up. Hey, just a reminder this show is sponsored by WCW Backstage Assault on Playstation! Oh man. As if the actual shows in 2000 WCW weren't enough, they also managed to plop out one of the worst turds of a wrestling game there's ever been. AWOL punches back and drops Reno through the table stack. But he doesn't bother to cover, wanting to do more damage. Now they go past the stage all the way to the backstage area. AWOL goes over to a table and picks up.....HAHAHAHAHAHA that computer monitor looks so completely frakking fake. It's clearly a plastic display model. I remember those in stores. Anyway, he throws it at Reno who dodges it. Reno gives us the mandatory fire extinguisher blast and whips AWOL into a propped up table for 2. AWOL dodges a swing with another display model, this time a laptop. He hits Reno with the fake monitor this time. Now they go through Gorilla (decking agent Fit Finlay at the table on the way because why not) and AWOL tosses Reno back down the ramp. AWOL gets yet another table out, because they've been so effective at finishing guys off so far in this match. Reno comes behind with a chairshot, and hits Roll of the Dice onto the table. That gets Reno the pin to retain. I've seen worse plunder brawls, but that definitely could have used a few minutes trimmed off of it. 3/4*

 

For the second straight match participants in the next match come out to beat down someone in the last match, this time the Perfect Event on AWOL. MIA also come out early to fight them off.

 

We get a recap of Goldberg potentially getting hurt recently on TV and Tony mentions he hasn't arrived yet tonight. 

 

The Misfits in Action def The Perfect Event in 9:21- Ah, apparently this is an impromptu match after the beatdowns following the last match. Madden tries to convince everyone Perfect Event are on the same page after some recent disagreements, so you know what's coming. The MIA team of Chavo Guerrero (Lt. Loco) and Lash LeRoux (Cpl. Cajun) charge in and get jumped to start. The MIA guys fire back with a couple of sloppy dropkicks. Drop toe hold/basement dropkick double team on Stasiak. Stasiak comes back with a kneelift on Chavo and tags. Palumbo runs into another drop toe hold. Dropkick and armdrag from Chavo. Side suplex and LeRoux hits an elbow drop off the second rope. Suplex from LeRoux for 2. Clothesline off the second rope. Palumbo hot shots Chavo with Chavo completely missing the rope and going out to the floor instead. I just realized that Scott Armstrong of the Armstrong wrestling family is reffing this match, I'm pretty sure his first WCW PPV appearance. He would go on to be essentially CM Punk's personal referee for Punk's 434 day WWE Championship reign in '11-'12. The Perfect Event guys start arguing while trying to coordinate a double team and that turns into a full on DONNYBROOK. Perfect Event get control back and pull off the double team this time. Hey, Backstage Assault is on N64 too! Wouldn't want to keep Nintendo owners from experiencing such a, er, legendary game. Stevie Ray thinks Madden said "chubby toes" when he said "Chavito", which is about all you need to know about the current state of commentary. Stasiak plants Chubby Toes with a powerbomb. LeRoux breaks up the very arrogant cover. Palumbo catches a Chavo crossbody attempt and gives him a fallaway slam. Another arrogant cover. Belly to belly suplex on Chavo for 2. Stasiak goes for a press slam, but Chavo counters with a faceplant and gets a tag to LeRoux. Hot tag run until Stasiak takes him out with a straight right for 2. Palumbo hooks LeRoux in a sleeper. LeRoux goes down and we go to arm drops. LeRoux fights back up, but runs right into another sleeper. Another fight out and LeRoux springs off the second rope to faceplant Palumbo. Tags on both sides. Chavo dropkicks Stasiak and DDTs Palumbo as all four guys come in again. Palumbo accidentally superkicks Stasiak. Tornado DDT from Chavo and Stasiak and that gets the pin. *

 

We get about a second of celebration before cutting to the back, where Konnan is still hurting but doesn't want to be looked at because he's got a match next. 

 

The Filthy Animals def Shane Douglas & Torrie Wilson in 8:38- It's Konnan and Tygress representing the Animals in this mixed tag match. Torrie's wearing full on Wonder Woman gear, which, uh, works. Very well. Tygress initially comes out by herself. She manages to low blow Douglas, then she and Torrie do the worst supposed armdrag spot I've ever seen in my life. I assume that's what it was supposed to be. Weak kicks from Tygress on Torrie. She goes for something but Douglas pulls her down by her hair. They set up to hit Tygree with a double team move. Konnan runs out to make the save. Lord help me I can't believe I'm saying this but I'm almost happy to see him, only because it means Torrie and Tygress won't have to carry the match anymore. Douglas stomps away on hurt Konnan. Comeback double clothesline from Konnan. Rolling clothesline on Douglas and the heel team goes to the floor to rethink. Konnan and Tygress both go for swinging kicks through the ropes and both manage to make them look different kinds of horrible. Back in Konnan stays in control. Tygress comes off the top rope with an ax handle on Douglas' arm, then gives him a quick arm wringer before Konnan takes back over. She tags in again and they double kick Douglas in the corner. Torrie wants to help but is too scared to. Tygress again cranks arm wringers on Douglas and bites his arm to boot. Douglas finally says enough of this and punches Tygress in the face. Hey, she wanted to be in the match. Torrie tags in and the less said about their attempts to wrestle the better. Tygress faceplants Torrie for a long 2. The heel team work ref 'Lil Naitch to keep Tygress in their corner. Douglas puts her into a camel clutch, then slowly switches around into a lame attempt at a crossface chicken wing. Tygrees runs and momentum tosses Douglas to the floor, dodges around, and tags Konnan in. Backdrop on Douglas. Snap mare/basement dropkick and DDT from Konnan. Glad to see he's OK now. Torrie breaks a pin up and it's EVERYONE IN THE POOL time. Konnan gives Douglas mounted punches, then they have to stall because Tygress is taking forever on her setup. Finally she goes for the shitty bronco buster, but Torrie pulled 'Lil Naitch in the way and he gets it too! Douglas hot shots Konnan behind that. Torrie hits Konnan with the Franchise! Tygress breaks the pin up. Animals double faceplant on Douglas and that gets the pin. Torrie's Wonder Woman outfit was the only thing remotely worthwhile about this garbage. DUD

 

Another immediate cut to the back where Mean Gene is with David Flair and two "doctors" that look even more fake than that computer monitor. OK, explanation. You remember a couple of months ago at New Blood Rising when Miss Hancock/Stacy Keibler had a "miscarriage" during a match that was supposed to be a really real shooty shoot and not at all worked? I know, we'd all like to forget that ever happened. Russo won't let us. In the time since Buff Bagwell has claimed, in his continued quest to be a Val Venis ripoff, that he was the one that impregnated Keibler, not her boyfriend Flair the Younger. That's why David has the doctors. Once he wins the upcoming First Blood match, he's going to have the blood DNA tested to prove that Buff did not stuff Stacy and the lost kid really was his all along, results to be revealed tomorrow night on Nitro. Have I mentioned before that Russo got a lot of his story ideas watching Jerry Springer? Just thought I'd point that out again. 

 

First Blood DNA Match: Buff Bagwell def David Flair in 5:40- Flair comes out with a DNA testing kit and leaves it with commentary. Bagwell lets Flair knows he's #1 and they lock up. Bagwell runs Flair into the corners with about the worst selling of it I've ever seen, then he slams Flair. Running swinging neckbreaker as Bagwell stays completely in control and Flair looks as lost as he did back in his first matches. Flair's first offensive move is a sunset flip that Bagwell easily fights it off. Flair manages to do the classic Flair Flip in the corner, but makes the mistake of going up top and takes the usual Flair slam. Running clotheslines from Bagwell. He hits mounted punches and Flair does the most insane, ridiculous dancing flop out of the corner. He's trying to channel his dad so bad but he just doesn't have it. Bagwell rips Flair's shirt off and tries to make him pose. Flair uses that to hit the old Flair mule kick low blow. He tosses Bagwell out to the floor and slams him out there. Flair pulls the floor mat up and sets Bagwell up for a piledriver. Bagwell backdrops out, then dodges a chairshot and Flair hits the post. Bagwell pulls the middle rope up into Flair's crotch as he's getting back in the ring and gives him a chairshot to the head that knocks Flair back to the floor. Flair's bleeding out there but the ref doesn't call it. Bagwell lets Flair get back in the ring to hit the Blockbuster, and now the ref calls it. Well, you can say the match was worthy of the angle. Flair looked as lost as he ever has, and Bagwell even by his low standard was half assing it, clearly thinking this match was beneath him. DUD

 

After the bell Lex Luger comes into the ring. He celebrates with Bagwell....then clotheslines him! SWERVE! I guess, it's so random. Tony: "How many times is Luger going to turn on someone in WCW?". Ask Sting. A post shot makes Bagwell bleed from the mouth (a clear blood capsule) and David gets his DNA sample. We follow him all the way to the back where he gives it to the doctors and they run off. While they run off with it we see that Goldberg has arrived in the building.

 

Kickboxing Match: WCW Cruiserweight Champion Mike Sanders (w/Natural Born Thrillers) def Ernest "The Cat" Miller (w/Ms Jones) by countout in 8:32- This is apparently to determine who the commissioner of WCW will be, a role Miller had held the last few PPVs. This is under full kickboxing rules, so per commentary it's three 2 minute rounds and if there's a knockdown you have a 10 count to get up, like boxing. These never go well. I'm not getting deep into it. Miller was a legit karate champion before coming to WCW so he completely dominates. There might be some legit stiff shots in there too. While that's going on Palumbo and Stasiak continue their arguments with each other. Toward the end of the third and final round, after Sanders has been knocked down about 10 times during the course of the match, Douglas gets on the apron and hits Miller with a chain behind the ref's back. Miller still gets back up at 9. Time runs out and the match is supposed to be over but for some reason it keeps going. Miller knocks Sanders down again, then goes out of the ring to attack Douglas. Sanders gets up before 10, but wee ginger ref counts Miller out to give Sanders the win? Is that in kickboxing rules? And the match was already supposed to be over per the rounds rules. How does any of this make any sense? An atrociously painful waste of time from start to finish. MINUS FIVE STARS

 

In the back the Nevada State Athletic Commission doctors check on Goldberg, which only annoys him. He admits that he's been dizzy since Monday, which is "part of the territory". Is it? Even the NFL of the day might think twice about letting him back out there, much less today. 

 

Mike Awesome def Vampiro in 9:50- When bad gimmicks can kill: Mike Awesome came into WCW from ECW earlier in the year and actually managed to get a bit of momentum, standing out a bit from the usual 2000 WCW crowd. Then he got stuck with the "That 70's Guy" gimmick, playing off the success of the That 70's Show TV show, and he became a joke. Vampiro gets a mic before the bell and wants Awesome to put his title shot tomorrow night on Nitro on the line tonight. Awesome agrees. The bell rings and we get a basic start. Awesome hits a flying tackle that sends Vampiro out to the floor. Over the top tope suicida from Awesome! Awesome backdrops Vampiro over the barricade and Vampiro takes out some empty chairs and one poor MGM Grand security woman that clearly did not see it coming. Awesome then hits a springboard dive off the barricade and it's wander through the crowd time. Vampiro gets a mic stand, then someone's cane to hit Awesome with. Some likely drunk fan gets overenthused and tries to get involved, getting jumped by security as the wrestlers relocate away from him. Coming back Vampiro hits a clothesline off the announce table. Vampiro gives Awesome a chair in the ring, gets his own, and we have a full on chair sword fight in the ring. Awesome loses that, then Vampiro kicks a chair into his face for 2. Chops in the corner from Vampiro. He swings a clothesline that hits Awesome in the top of the head that Awesome sells anyway. They go up top and Vampiro just barely pulls off a belly to belly throw off of there for 2. Vampiro goes up top again and does some awful butt splash thing that Awesome didn't even seem to know what was coming. The. Fuck. Awesome then gets up first and covers Vampiro for 2. I'm thinking maybe Awesome was supposed to counter that into a powerbomb and blew the spot. Awesome goes under the ring and gets a table, bringing it into the ring. He tosses it into Vampiro. Vampiro does an eye rake or something that puts Awesome back down. Nail in the Coffin hits. Now Vampiro goes out, looks under every single side because he can't find what he's looking for, and just gives up. Well that was pointless. Back in Awesome waffles Vampiro with a stiff looking clothesline. They go back to the floor and Awesome powerbombs Vampiro on the floor....for a 2 count? Is this suddenly a falls count anywhere match? They set up on the top rope again. Awesome hits an avalanche powerbomb! Hoo boy that could have turned out really bad. That clearly gets Awesome the pin. Yet another awful Vampiro match, which has become all too common during his WCW run. He veered between going in slow motion and looking completely lost, and Awesome was clearly having to slow down or stop anything he was trying to do to keep up. DUD

 

After a General Rection promo we see that refs are helping Vampiro get up in the ring and he looks like he had his bell legit rung. 

 

Handicap Match for the WCW United States Heavyweight Championship: Gen. Rection def Lance Storm (c) and "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan (w/Major Gunns) in 10:07- Fall Brawl last month saw one of the silliest of all Russo swerves, as all-American Duggan turned and joined Storm's Team Canada. I mean, he is from upstate New York which is half Canada anyway. Ref Scott Armstrong has a hell of a time taking Duggan's 2x4 away from him before the bell. Duggan starts the match and goes nose to nose with Rection. Slugfest and they grab at each other's shirts in lieu of doing anything interesting. About all Duggan can do at this point anyway. Rection clotheslines Duggan on the ropes and he somehow manages to go 360 over. Storm comes right in and attacks Rection from behind. Backdrop and clotheslines from Rection and Storm rolls to the floor to regroup. Back in Storm goes to the eye poke to get Rection in the corner. Rection no sells chops and hits his own. Mounted punches from Rection. Storm pulls off the inverted atomic drop counter and tags out. After Storm tags back in Rection backdrops him over the top to the floor. Duggan whips Rection to get him running and Storm pulls the top rope down on him to send him crashing to the floor. Back in Duggan gives Rection some ground and pound as Rection is fully in peril. Jawbreaker/superkick combo from Storm for 2. Duggan's offense is just sad at this point. He sets up in the 3 point stance. Rection turns it into a double clothesline. Storm tags in and hooks on a sleeper. Rection back suplexes free. After a tag Rection ducks and Storm takes out Duggan. Rection goes on essentially a hot tag run minus the tag. Storm does some nice dodging around and tries for the half crab. Rection pushes free and hits Storm with a powerslam. Duggan hits Storm breaking the pin up. Armstrong does some nice ducking down but ends up going down colliding with Storm. Hey, first ref bump all night, for a Russo show that's not too bad. Duggan hits Rection with a piledriver and covers but there's no ref. Armstrong slowly comes to and Rection kicks out. Team Canada member Elix Skipper runs in with another 2x4 but Gunns takes him out with the Canadian flag! See, Gunns was not a willing member of Team Canada, she's an MIA member that's been a "prisoner" of Team Canada for weeks. Storm's mad and takes the 2x4 from her. Gunns pulls Storm down off the apron! While they're arguing Rection grabs Duggan's 2x4 and gives him a Russian leg sweep with it. He goes up top. Moonsault! Missed by a mile but still. Rection gets the pin to win the title! All of MIA run in to celebrate, including Gunns who I assume is free now. Not even Lance Storm could save this match, but it did just barely enough to break the DUD/MFS streak. 1/4*

 

Just a reminder, all the promotion for this show promised we'd see Sting undergo some kind of transformation tonight. We'll see how that holds up. Of note, during the build for this match Jarrett dressed up as surfer Sting to mess with Sting's head. That will play into tonight's match.

 

Jeff Jarrett def Sting in 14:30- Jarrett stalls on the floor so Sting goes out and jumps him. Jarrett takes some of the typical ringside knockaround before Sting rolls him into the ring. Stinger Splash! He repositions and goes for another. Jarrett dodges, but for once Sting sees it and hits the brakes. Inverted atomic drop (on the second attempt) and 360 clothesline from Sting. We hear a scream, then see someone dressed as surfer Sting on the entrance stage. Is that NWO Sting again? Sting goes out and attacks his old clone in the aisle. Commentary acts like Sting is attacking himself, which I honestly shouldn't be surprised about. They'll always find the dumbest angle to take. Real Sting gives fake Sting a Scorpion Death Drop on the stage. Jarrett then attacks. They do some weak back and forth brawling by the stage and through the crowd. Now ANOTHER fake surfer Sting comes in through the crowd. The last one was in green, this one is in pink. Whoever is playing pink Sting is all kinds of awful, tangling himself on the ropes when Sting tries to whip him. Sting takes him up onto the stage and knocks him around up there, then gives him a Scorpion Death Drop. Full on reset as Sting gets back in the ring. Before anything else can happen now Wolfpac music hits and Wolfpac Sting comes out. This is getting rather silly. Sting takes his bat and attacks him with it, and once again up the stage for a SDD up there. Jarrett gets the bat and attacks Sting with it. So what's next? Flash? Blade Runner Sting? Plain old Steve Borden? Four Horsemen Sting? Joker Sting? Wait, too early for that. Jarrett beats Sting back down the aisle to ringside and into the ring. Back elbow and cover for 2. Jarrett gets the sleeper on. Sting goes down and we get arm drops. Madden: "Where's the Black Scorpion, we need him now!". His one good line for the night, check. Sting fights back up and puts his own sleeper on. Jarrett quickly back suplexes free. He drapes an arm over Sting for a 2 count. Sting starts some classic no selling and hulks back up. He dodges a Jarrett dropkick and goes for the Scorpion Death Lock. Another Crow Sting comes up from under the ring! He drags the real Sting down into the hole! It's so ludicrous it's hilarious at this point. After a bit Sting drags the latest fake Sting out of the hole and tosses him out of the ring. More Stinger Splashes on Jarrett. He goes for the Scorpion Death Drop but Jarrett grabs the ropes to block it. Now the lights go out. I doubt this is going anywhere good. ANOTHER fake Crow Sting rappels down from the rafters. That's five fake Stings in this match for those keeping count. Real Sting drags him up on the announce table and the fake Sting's wig comes off. Scorpion Death Drop through the announce table! Ray is the only one left on air. Sting gets Jarret in the Scorpion Death Lock. Fake Sting number SIX, and fake Crow Sting number 3, comes in and hits real Sting with a guitar. Wait, I think this is the one that came from the hole. So we're still at five. Real Sting no sells it and gives that fake Sting a SDD. Then Jarrett comes in with his guitar and punctuates this match's insane overbooking with one of the most overused cliches ever. Jarrett wins the match with the guitar shot. As conceived this match never had a chance. The nostalgia hits don't land when no one cares. DUD

 

WCW World Heavyweight Championship: Booker T (c) def Scott Steiner (w/Midajah) by DQ in 13:00- Over the course of the past 18 months to 2 years these two have risen from wrestling each other for the TV title to the US title to the World title. Under better circumstances this is a feud a normal company not on the brink of death could have built around, but by this point there was nothing left to save WCW, they were just playing out the string. I'll also note this is not main eventing. In fact they even make a big deal on TV that this isn't the main event. The story is Booker offered to let Goldberg go on last to give him "more time to recover". Steiner is unhappy at this turn of events and attacks one of the road agents in Gorilla when his music hits. I wouldn't go to that extreme, but still I agree. Someone's put some duct tape on the ring mat to close up the hole fake Sting #4 created coming out of the ring. Duct tape can fix anything. After some stalling from both guys they do a crazy throwing hands lockup. Lil' Naitch almost gets decked forcing a corner break. Booker puts on a hammerlock and Steiner floors him with a back elbow. Typical slow Steiner heel offense follows. Booker reverses a whip into his own back elbow hit, then he hits the flying forearm for 2. Steiner quickly gets out to the floor to rethink things. And, as usual, rile up the fans. He even jumps the barricade chasing a fan that was jawing at him. Back in Steiner quickly goes on offense again. Speed run and Booker hits a side kick. Clothesline for 2. Mounted punches from Booker. Steiner hits a kick and clotheslines Booker 360 to the floor. Chairshot on Booker and Steiner dumps him over the barricade. Steiner follows and it's our third crowd brawl segment of the night. He then picks Booker up and slams him through the replacement announce table. WCW doing their best tonight to make table spots be absolutely pointless. Steiner takes the opportunity to get in Booker's brother Ray's face in commentary. Steinerline/elbow drop combo back in for 2. He muscles Booker over and cranks his arms back in a Steiner Recliner setup. Booker tries to power free and maneuvers Steiner around for a neckbreaker. Ripcord knee from Booker. He goes for the scissors kick but Steiner cuts it off with a Steinerline. Steiner sets Booker up top, hits an avalanche Samoan drop and does some push ups. Big chop from Steiner. Booker blocks and hits some buckle shots. Steiner cuts it off with a low blow. Belly to belly suplex! Booker kicks out! Booker leapfrogs a charge and Steiner falls through the ropes to the floor. He whips Steiner into the barricade, but Steiner does another no sell and bounces off with another Steinerline. Back in Booker does his corner floatover roll up for 2. Another side kick hits and Booker goes up top. Steiner meets him but Booker fights him off. Midajah grabs Booker's boot and pulls him down to crotch him. Booker fights Steiner off again. After all that the missile dropkick hits for a long 2. Another ripcord knee and the scissors kick hits this time. But Booker's hurt and can't follow up. Midajah hands Steiner his gimmick lead pipe. Steiner nails Booker with it, then hits Lil' Naitch and drapes him upside down in the corner when he complains. The Steiner Recliner is on, but Steiner murdered the ref. Backup ref Scott Armstrong runs in. As soon as he gets in the ring Steiner hits him and tosses him! The hell? I know Steiner's not exactly a Mensa member but how the hell does he expect to win the match if he takes all the refs out before they can do anything? The Recliner is on again. Ref #3, bald ref, runs in and avoids Steiner long enough to call for the bell, DQ'ing Steiner. Steiner then takes him out with the pipe. Agents and security run in and all take pipe shots. Steiner gets a chair and goes nuts on Booker's knee. Then he goes over and antagonizes Ray again. Jarrett comes out and tries to calm Steiner down. This started pretty bad, they kept working and managed to get to someplace halfway decent, but then the end booking kicked in and destroyed it all. *1/2

 

Handicap Elimination Match: Goldberg def KroniK in 3:43- And now for one of the most pointless, tacked on "main events" of all time. In a desperate attempt to recreate Goldberg's streak, an edict has come down from WCW management and Russo that if Goldberg loses a match before matching his original 173-0 streak he'll be forced to retire. Needless to say, it doesn't recapture the magic. After KroniK's entrance Adams takes a mic and says Goldberg's not cleared, play our music, we're done here. We then cut to the back, where the lead Athletic Commission guy says "OK, he's cleared". Typical bureaucracy, never in a hurry for anything. Goldberg gets the full security escort entrance from his locker room. Once the bell rings KroniK do the predictable double team beatdown for a bit. Oh joy, here comes another table. Let's kill that some more. Goldberg fights KroniK off, spears Clarke through the table and pins him. Finally, a table spot that had some kind of point tonight. The bell rings and Ray says the match is over. Then it's not over. Apparently Goldberg has to pin both guys. It's amazing how often WCW didn't bother to explain what the rules were to anybody. Adams manages to full nelson slam Goldberg but of course Goldberg kicks out. Spear, jackhammer, good night. DUD

 

OVERALL SHOW THOUGHTS- There's been several points in 2000 WCW that could be considered rock bottom. This is another one. 11 matches, only one getting up to anything resembling decent and it's the opener, and a whopping 6 matches, more than half, being either zero or negative stars. Add onto that yet more atrociously bad booking, at the end can't come soon enough.

OVERALL SHOW GRADE: F