Thursday, February 27, 2020

WrestleMania 2

Legacy Review

WrestleMania 2

April 7, 1986
 
The first Wrestlemania was a huge success for the WWF, so there was little thought needed to running it back the next year. With a twist. Vince and co saw Jim Crockett Promotions successfully run Starrcade '85 in two arenas simultaneously, so naturally Vince said "Screw that, I can do THREE!". And here we are. One show, three different venues. Unlike Starrcade's switching arenas each match, WM 2 would flow naturally with the time zones, starting on the east coast for the first portion, then moving to the midwest, and finally the west coast, an even four matches at each location. TVs were set up in all three arenas so the live crowds could watch the closed circuit broadcast of the portions not in their arena. And thanks to a large part of the first WM's success being celebrity involvement, that's double, triple and quadruple downed on this year. There's some famous non-wrestling personality around every single corner the entire show, including for better or worse (mostly the latter) a seat in commentary at all three venues.
 
VENUE ONE
From the Nassau Veterans Memorial Coliseum in Uniondale, NY
 
Commentary: Vince McMahon and guest celebrity Susan St. James
 
St. James was an actress mostly known for supporting roles across film and TV, but she had recently hit it bigger as one of the stars of the CBS sitcom Kate & Allie. But, the real reason she's here is she's the wife of NBC exec Dick Ebersol, who'd been working closely with Vince the past year to bring Saturday Night's Main Event to life, which had become a huge success for both WWF and NBC. Vince does his first ever "Welcome to Wrestlemania!" in the ring at the start of the show. We then quickly get the next celebrity, as none other than Ray Charles sings America the Beautiful to start the show. With some mic issues. I'm a bit surprised they aren't doing this portion in MSG, but I guess they didn't want to only do a third of a show there. This would be the Nassau Coliseum's only dalliance with WM, but they would much later get one of the best Summerslams ever, 2002, as well as some assorted B PPVs. After Charles is done we cut to Mean Gene in Chicago to show the remote links are working. We then cut to a pretaped Roddy Piper promo, where he promises to quit wrestling, tiddlywinks and dating girls if he loses tonight.
 
"Mr. Wonderful" Paul Orndorff and The Magnificent Muraco (w/Mr. Fuji) double countout in 4:10- Orndorff's face turn after getting abandoned by his teammates at WM 1 won't last much longer. It's clearly done nothing for his card placement. During the first part of the match we get audio only promos from both guys. Really weird. Glad they didn't keep that idea. Standoff lockups because both guys are power guys, then they trade slams. Muraco hits a couple of shots on a corner break. Orndorff reverses a corner whip, then hits a backdrop, armdrag and drop toe hold into an ARMBAR. Muraco literally walks up the corner to try to armdrag out but Orndorff hangs on and reverses it. Muraco tries to whip out but again Orndorff hangs on and keeps the arm wringer on. St. James says something about using "ancient Chinese techniques". Er, if she's talking about Fuji, he's Japanese. Fuji is not a Chinese name. Finally Muraco lifts Orndorff up into a Samoan drop to get out. St. James would probably call it a Tongan drop. They trade shots in the corner with Orndorff getting the edge again with some elbow shots. They grab at each other and slowwwwwwwwwwwwly tumble over the top rope down to the floor. Slugfest down there. The bell rings as both guys are counted out. Lame lame lame. There's a loud, and justified, "bullshit" chant from the crowd for that. 1/2*
 
There's a lot of confusion in the ring from Fink as to announcing the result of that match. Finally he does the double countout announcement after the next match has started setting up and during a pretaped Mr. T promo. Very unusual production gaffes from WWF, and they didn't even have to do with the multiple arena setup. 
 
WWF Intercontinental Championship: "Macho Man" Randy Savage (c) (w/Elizabeth) def George "The Animal" Steele in 5:10- Savage, making his WM debut, defeated Tito Santana for the IC title in February using the old "foreign object hit while being back suplexed" trick, kicking off what would be a year plus reign. The story here is Steele is obsessed with Elizabeth. While a picture in picture Savage promo is playing live Savage in the ring tosses what looks like a bunch of flowers intended for Elizabeth. Lots of posturing after the bell. Steele charges and Savage bails to the floor. When he gets back in he seems to be looking for an opening. Crazy Steele comes at him again and again Savage hops to the floor. The third time Savage goes out Steele finally chases. He gets a hold of Savage and bites his leg! Well, his boot. No way even Steele's teeth are getting through that boot. Savage tries to ambush Steele as Steele gets back in but Steele lifts him up in a choke and tosses him across the ring. Then of course coconut brained Steele decides to mack on Elizabeth, allowing Savage to attack him from behind. Savage goes up top and goes for a crossbody that Steele seems to have no idea what to do with. Savage recovers after that ugly landing and covers. Steele's kickout sends him back out to the floor. After some more Steele shots he tosses Savage out again. Savage crawls under the ring, comes out the other side and attacks Steele from behind again! When Savage goes for a clothesline Steele bites his arm! Come on ref. "I wonder if he's had his shots". OK, St. James got one good line in. I wonder the same thing every time I see the Bushwhackers lick some poor innocent kid that might not have lived to see adulthood. Savage goes back out, gets another bouquet of flowers, and hits Steele in the face with them! Steele fires back and stuffs the stems in Savage's face. Steele with flowers, can't help but think we're getting into Gumby flower arranging territory. My fellow Monty Python fans know what I'm taking about. After a corner whip Steele now gets distracted by his usual turnbuckle eating. He gives Savage a bunch of foam in the face. Between the foam and the flower remnants this ring is absolutely filthy. Savage leads another chase around the ring. Steele stops to bother Elizabeth again. Savage double ax handle off the top to the floor! Back in Savage hits a setup slam and goes up top. Elbow drop, good night, thank God that's over. Oh hell, it isn't! Steele freaking kicked out of the Savage elbow drop. Why? He did not need that much protection. Steele grabs Savage by the schnoz and tosses him into the corner. Savage does the corner double leg takedown, get your feet on the ropes sneaky leverage pin and it's over. There was no reason to not have this end with the elbow drop, Steele did not need that protection. Not exactly a showcase for Savage in his first WM match. It'll get better. Not immediately though, as these two would continue to feud through the summer, including more matches on SNME. *
 
While the ring is cleaned we cut again to Mean Gene in Chicago, who's with Bill Fralic and Big John Studd to hype up the battle royale later. Again Fink does his match result announcement while that promo's going on. They're struggling with that tonight. 
 
Jake "The Snake" Roberts def George Wells in 3:15- Roberts was the latest acquisition from the sinking ship that was Mid-South (now named UWF in a misguided attempt to go national), and more would soon be on the way. He came into WWF as a heel, which was in line with most of his territory work, but would soon be forced to turn face simply because crowds loved him. But the real question is, who the smeg is George Wells? Well, he's a former football player that got drafted in the NFL but ended up playing his whole professional career in the CFL before turning to wrestling. After bouncing around the territories for almost a decade he signed with WWF as a low carder/jobber in '84 and honestly should be feeling really, really lucky he's getting a WM payday. Roberts deposits his as yet unnamed python in a bag in his corner, hops in, and walks right over to slap Wells to kick it off. Wells slaps back and hits a backdrop. Roberts connects with a shot and tosses Wells to the floor. Back in Roberts does a leapfrog, thinks he's smart, but turns around into a flying tackle. Wells whips Roberts across the corners and whips out a flying headscissors. Roberts wants a time out. Slam from Wells. Kneelift with a great sell from Roberts. Powerslam from Wells for 2. Roberts goes to the ol' eye rake to turn things around. He catches Wells with a kneelift coming back into the ring. DDT! That's it. Roberts' DDT is perhaps the most protected finisher in wrestling history, no one ever kicked out if it. After the bell Roberts gets the snake out of the bag, introducing the world to Damien. He wraps it all around Wells and tries to make it look like the snake is choking Wells. Wells actually foams at the mouth to sell it. 3/4*
 
We do our first "live" cutaway to LA (pretaped I'm sure) where Jesse Ventura is with Hogan for a quick promo. After that we get our first cavalcade of main event celebrities. Joan Rivers is the guest ring announcer, the judges for the next match are NBA star Darryl Dawkins (who Rivers has to coach how to wave to the crowd), Cab Calloway and bloody G Gordon Liddy, who gets booed out of the arena in left wing New York. The timekeeper is.....Herb. Don't ask. Just, don't.
 
Boxing Match: Mr. T (w/Joe Frazier and The Haiti Kid) def "Rowdy" Roddy Piper (w/Bob Orton and Lou Duva) by DQ in 10:15- This is of course a follow up to the WM 1 main event. On the last SNME T returned to WWF to challenge Bob Orton to a boxing match. After T won Piper and Orton attacked him to fully set this up. This is scheduled for 10 rounds. Piper jaws at T all through instructions. As usual with these crappy worked boxing matches I'm going to breeze through this. Round 1 T has some success with body shots so Piper ties up a lot. He gets an official warning for swinging a punch during a break. They get into rougher and rougher tie ups as the round comes to a close. The seconds have to separate them after the bell. Between rounds Piper's guys smear Piper down with something. T and the ref catch it at the start of round 2 and the ref wipes it off Piper. More wild punch swinging from both guys follow. T gets caught in the corner and Piper pummels him. Down goes T! He's up at 7. When the fight resumes the crowd chants for heel Piper. I don't think this is going the way they wanted. T drops down again at the round 2 bell, but it looks to be more from exhaustion than a punch from Piper. Piper hits him in the back of the head after the bell! Orton tosses a bucket of water toward T between rounds. Round 3 this time T gets Piper caught in the corner and lays into him. Piper drops down in the corner. Both guys look legit gassed as this is really wearing out its welcome. A straight left puts Piper down and he falls out of the ring! Orton sponges him down while T collapses in the corner, looking totally spent. They both kill time until the round ends. This time T goes over and jaws at Piper between rounds. Piper tosses his stool at T! As round 4 starts they lay into each other with unguarded haymakers. Finally Piper pushes the ref down and slams T, drawing the DQ. Mercy killing. Piper would take some time off after this, and when he came back he would have his big face turn. T wouldn't wrestle another match for WWF but he would make a few more appearances as a guest ref and muscle figure. He would wrestle one more match, nearly 10 years later in '94 for WCW. DUD
 
Not an auspicious start for the show. Nothing remotely good match wise, and as expected St. James was pretty useless on commentary. Let's see if a venue change can turn things around. 
 
VENUE TWO
From the Rosemont Horizon in Rosemont, IL
 
Commentary: Gorilla Monsoon, Gene Okerlund and guest celebrity Cathy Lee Crosby
 
Chicago's Rosemont Horizon (later Allstate Arena) would go on to host WMs 13 and 22 as well as several Survivor Series, a few NXT Takeovers and a boatload of B PPVs, most notably the legendary Money in the Bank '11. This segment's guest commentator Crosby is an even lower level actress than St. James, and had no marital ties to anyone important as far as I know. She was most known for hosting the series That's Incredible! that had just ended its run. It looks like they're using the same smaller local ring for this portion like at The Wrestling Classic from this arena. And for the first time at a big WWF show, there's actually mats on the floor around the ring. Red, no less.
 
WWF Women's Championship: The Fabulous Moolah (c) def Velvet McIntyre in 1:25- Without Cyndi Lauper no one cares about this title anymore. Just the truth and the reality of women's wrestling then. Moolah won the title back in what's generally called WWF's original screwjob before the Montreal Screwjob. Champion Wendi Richter and Vince were having contract disagreements, so a plan was concocted to get the title off of her whether she wanted to or not. In November she was put in a match against "The Spider", who was Moolah in a mask. During the match Moolah legitimately pinned Richter's shoulders down and the ref, in on the plan, fast counted three to give Moolah back the title. An infuriated Richter walked out of the company immediately after, never to be seen again. McIntyre is wrestling barefoot. Is she secretly a Von Erich? Moolah uses the ref as cover to ambush at the bell and hits a bunch of hair snap mares. They do some very sloppy back and forth stuff and McIntyre hits a couple of one foot dropkicks. Really foot, not boot. Slam from McIntyre and she goes to the second rope. Moolah dodges a big splash, lays on top of McIntyre, and after the local ref takes forever to think about it gets the pin to retain. There was supposedly a wardrobe malfunction suffered by McIntyre that cut this match short, but I didn't see it though she was visibly fighting her top a lot. McIntyre also had a very obvious foot on the rope the whole count. Honestly it's for the best it ended where it did as it was pretty freaking awful. There wouldn't be another women's title match at a WM until WM 10. DUD
 
Flag Match: Corporal Kirchner def Nikolai Volkoff (w/Freddie Blassie) in 2:05- This isn't a capture the flag match, it's called a "flag match" because the winner "gets to raise his country's flag". OK, they were probably going to do that anyway. Volkoff gets nuclear heat in Chicago. Sadly I can't see a Chicago crowd being so openly pro-American today. He cuts his Soviet national anthem singing short because there's so much trash being thrown in the ring during it. Volkoff goes right on offense after the bell and tosses Kirchner out. Post shot for Kirchner and Volkoff bites him. Crosby asks "Is that fair?". Another post shot that Kirchner does a very delayed sell of. Back in Kirchner comes back with right hands. He back elbows the ref trying to force a corner break. Blassie tosses his cane to Volkoff. Kirchner intercepts it like Jay Cutler threw it, nails Volkoff, and gets a very quick pin. So far the move to Chicago hasn't helped the show any. It might even be worse. DUD
 
Next up is one of the most heavily advertised matches for the whole show, a battle royale featuring both WWF wrestlers and NFL players. It's billed as "WWF vs NFL", but in reality it's every man for himself like any battle royale. The rosters for this match are:
 
WWF- King Tonga (Haku/Meng), the Hart Foundation (both Anvil and Bret making their WM debut), Bruno Sammartino, the Iron Sheik, Andre the Giant, Big John Studd, Pedro Morales, Tony Atlas, Ted Arcidi, Hillbilly Jim, Dan Spivey and the Killer Bees (B Brian Blair and Jim Brunzell)
NFL- Harvey Martin (former DE, Dallas Cowboys), Bill Fralic (G, Atlanta Falcons), Jimbo Covert (T, hometown Chicago Bears), Ernie Holmes (former DT, Pittsburgh Steelers), Russ Francis (TE, San Francisco 49ers), and the signature entry William "The Refrigerator" Perry also from the hometown Bears, who were coming off their dominant 15-1 Super Bowl winning season
 
Mean Gene takes over as ring announcer for this match, which is billed as the Chicago portion of the main event even though it's not the last match. Time for more celebrities. The guest time keeper is the "Where's the beef?" lady. If you lived in this time like I did you know. Guest referees are Bears legend Dick Butkus and Cowboys Hall of Famer Ed "Too Tall" Jones.
 
20 Man WWF/NFL Battle Royale- Everyone gets individual entrances. Fralic looks like a legit wrestler. And funnily enough, 49ers TE Russ Francis *was* a legit wrestler, fully trained and worked in the NWA Hawaii territory during offseasons early in his career, where he won their tag titles a couple of times with his brother. The Harts are in primary blue with black gear. Early days. The Fridge and still babyface Andre are the last two in. There's no bell, someone says "go" and we're off. Another guest celebrity, Ernie Ladd, has joined Monsoon at commentary in Okerlund's place. Covert saves his teammate Fridge when he's in trouble early. Fralic makes a nice move, coming from behind and dumping both Covert and Tonga for the first eliminations. He celebrates like a natural heel. Sammartino dumps Holmes out. WM 1 opponents Andre and Studd find each other. The Harts dump Brunzell out. It's hard to tell if Brunzell's teammate Blair was trying to help the Harts or save his teammate. Fridge gets a big elimination, lifting Atlas up like he was nothing and dumping him over the top rope. Studd unloads on Fridge, getting the hate of the Chicago crowd. Morales and Martin get eliminated together. The Harts are doing a good job of staying together. One one side a bunch of wrestlers get dumped with Sheik the last one standing out of the group. Studd gets Fralic over and out. Sammartino goes nuts on Studd. Studd manages to dump Sammartino out. Francis takes some crazy bumps off Andre shots before Studd attacks Andre again. The Harts double hiptoss Fridge. Fridge pops back up and tackles them both! Both Harts go over the top but land on the apron. Now Fridge and Studd have a big midring showdown. Big tackle from Fridge. He goes for another. Studd back elbows him and hiptosses him out. Fridge offers a handshake from the floor. He pulls Studd out! Fell victim to one of the classic blunders. We're down to the final four- the Harts, Andre and Francis. They actually somewhat team up against the last remaining NFL player. The Harts double dropkick Andre and he gets tied up in the ropes like he liked to do. The Harts toss Francis out. Down to the Harts and Andre. I don't like the Harts' chances. They hit a slingshot shoulder tackle and try to lift Andre up. No joy. Bret gets whipped into Andre's massive boot. Double noggin knocker. Big boot on Anvil, who does a CRAZY sell halfway across the ring and flops himself over the top and out! Hell of a ricochet off that boot. Meanwhile, behind Andre Bret is going up top. Doesn't seem like a smart move. Nope, Andre easily lifts him up and drops him down onto Anvil. Andre wins the eight billionth battle royale of his career. I'm exaggerating slightly. Perfectly solid battle royal. The NFL guys did just fine. Sadly that was easily the best thing on the whole show so far. **
 
We cut back to New York with Vince and St. James with Piper. Piper rants about the NFL guys cheating, then clarifies that he only said he's quit....everything....if T knocked him out and he didn't. 
 
WWF Tag Team Championship: The British Bulldogs (w/Capt. Lou Albano and Ozzy Osbourne) def The Dream Team (c) (w/Johnny Valiant) in 13:03- The Bulldogs, like Bret and Anvil in the last match, were brought into WWF when WWF bought out Stampede Wrestling. The so called "Dream Team" of Greg Valentine and Brutus Beefcake had been champions since August, when they defeated the WWF departing US Express (Barry Windham and Mike Rotunda). Monsoon gets his dream wish as there's two refs working this match. Though only one of them is a WWF ref, the other is one of the local refs that worked The Wrestling Classic and looked completely out of his depth. Thankfully he stays on the outside the whole match and doesn't really do anything. I guess Osbourne is with the Bulldogs since they're all British. In fact they're all north of England guys, both Bulldogs from the Greater Manchester area and Osbourne originally from the Birmingham area. DBS and Valentine start. DBS tosses Valentine out of the first lockup. They trade some strikes that have little effect on either guy. Valentine gets a double leg takedown but misses an elbow drop. DBS comes back up with an arm wringer. Hiptoss from Valentine but again DBS dodges the follow up move. Dynamite tags in and hilariously gives Valentine a little assist with his usual flop. Dynamite hits the ropes at 100 MPH and just RUNS OVER Valentine with a shoulderblock. Snap suplex. Valentine and DBS suplex fight with DBS hitting his delayed suplex for 2. Valentine begs off in the corner and slides out for a think. Back in Valentine gives DBS some forearms. Diving headbutt to the gut from Valentine and Beefcake tags in for the first time. Beefcake works an arm wringer. DBS uses it to lift him up into a press slam! Dynamite tags in and hits a clothesline, then a chop. He's moving way too damn fast for this small ring, it can barely contain him. Small package on Beefcake for 2. DBS hits a perfectplex on Beefcake for 2. Not executed perfectly. DBS works a front facelock. Beefcake manages to back up and blind tag out. Valentine goes up top and ambushes DBS with an ax handle to the back of the head. Suplex from Valentine for 2. Now it's DBS's turn to sneak a backhand tag and Dynamite blindsides Valentine. Another assisted Valentine flop and Dynamite covers for 2. Double shoulderblock from the Bulldogs for 2. Beefcake comes in without a tag, allowing Valentine to come back. Dynamite hits a sunset flip for a long 2. Backbreaker from Dynamite and Beefcake saves the pin. Again Valentine comes back with forearms. He hits Dynamite with a front drop piledriver! That was nasty looking. But Dynamite kicks out. Valentine tries for a leverage pin and gets crotched on Dynamite's feet. He goes up top but Dynamite slams him back down. Valentine motions for Beefcake to come in but DBS cuts him off as things break down. The Bulldogs go for a double team press slam splash on Valentine but Valentine gets the hell out of town. The Bulldogs follow and roll him back in, which allows Valentine to ambush Dynamite coming back in. But he makes the mistake of pounding Dynamite into his own corner, allowing him to tag out to DBS. DBS running powerslam! Valentine kicks out! Another suplex from DBS for 2. Valentine reverses a corner whip and DBS goes shoulder first into the post. Valentine sees the target and goes right for it. So does Beefcake. Valentine coaching him well. Quick tags from the heels as DBS goes In Peril. Shoulderbreaker from Valentine. He pulls DBS up at 2! Oh boy, I do not like that strategery. Dynamite goes up the ropes in his corner. DBS pushes Valentine into the corner and he hits heads with Dynamite! DBS covers and gets the pin to win the titles! Freaking brilliant finish, Dynamite sacrificing himself to get the win. Not just easily the best match tonight, but the best one at a WM period so far. ***1/2
 
Everyone on the face has some things to say during the postmatch interview, except Dynamite who looks legit concussed and completely out of it on the floor. So ends the Chicago portion, which started horribly but recovered nicely in the second half. Let's see if LA can keep the momentum going.
 
VENUE THREE
From the Los Angeles Memorial Sports Arena in Los Angeles, CA
 
Commentary: Jesse Ventura, Lord Alfred Hayes and guest celebrity Elvira
 
The LA Sports Arena would later be the "backup" venue for WM 7 when the planned LA Coliseum location had to be scrapped. Elvira I think needs no introduction, even in this day and age. And she is 100% in character Elvira. Hoo boy, that's a lot of visible empty seats in LA. Maybe it's typical LA late arrivers. Though they did miss the rest of the show. 
 
Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat def Hercules Hernandez in 7:34- Herc had just signed with WWF in November and would soon drop "Hernandez" from his name. Herc jumps Steamboat with a running knee right before the bell and starts wailing away on him. Commentary is audibly hustling into position, even they were caught off guard. Steamboat does a couple of slide unders and hits a chop. DEEP armdrags into some Steamboat arm work. Another speed run and Steamboat does a couple more dodges, then hits a back kick. Another deep armdrag and Steamboat works on the arm some more. Herc fires back with an uppercut. More speed and Steamboat hits a back elbow. Suplex from Steamboat, impressive considering the size difference. Herc grabs a handful of hair to give Steamboat a buckle shot, then MURDERS him with a clothesline. Knees to Steamboat's head. He gives Steamboat a wicked looking hot shot. Steamboat fires back with backhand shots. He tries a slam but Herc falls on top of him for 2. Herc continues to lay in the high impact stuff. Arrogant cover for 2. You're not taking Steamboat down that easily. Big chops from Steamboat. Herc dodges one and hits another big clothesline for 2. Press slam from Herc. Another one. Herc goes up top. That's out of his wheelhouse. He tries a splash but Steamboat gets his knees up. Now Steamboat goes up top. Crossbody! That gets the pin! Rock solid match. Steamboat did his thing and Herc actually kept up with him, looking as good as he would his entire WWF run. **3/4
 
"Adorable" Adrian Adonis (w/Jimmy Hart) def Uncle Elmer in 3:01- A makeup wearing crossdresser against a hillbilly. The jokes write themselves. Elmer is the largest member of Hillbilly Jim's very extended family. Adonis has so much makeup on he looks like he got a sunburn in LA. Maybe he did. Adonis fairy struts out of the ring during Elmer's entrance to try to get away, but as soon as he gets back in Elmer jumps him. Corner whip and Adonis goes upside down into the corner. He could be surprisingly athletic when he wanted to be. Elmer swings a punch and falls down. Yeesh. Adonis continues to bump like a maniac, flopping out of the ring off punches multiple times. Since I've been keeping track of these things, no mats on the floor in LA tonight. Elmer starts to tear Adonis' mu-mu off. Another punch and Adonis does another crazy flip, going upside down and tying himself in the ropes. He finally finds an opening to get some shots in. The mu-mu is completely off. Thankfully he's got his regular wrestling trunks on underneath. Elvira says "Put the dress back on!" Hah! A corner avalanche from Elmer squashes Adonis. Adonis dodges a legdrop. He hits a fistdrop off the top rope, and it's over. Elvira: "Never trust a man that wears pink legwarmers". Truer words were never spoken. The match was bad, but could have been much worse thanks to Adonis' maniacal bumping. 1/4*
 
Terry & Hoss Funk (w/Jimmy Hart) def Tito Santana & The Junkyard Dog in 11:42- "Hoss" is Dory Funk Jr.. Why the name change I have no idea. Terry's already at 100% wild Terry Funk during intros, shoving the ring announcer around. After the faces' entrance Terry tosses a chair int the ring. Even Hoss looks like he's trying to calm his brother down. Hoss starts with JYD. Terry literally flops himself over the ropes trying to stop JYD reversing a corner whip, then JYD whips Hoss into him. JYD slams both Funks. Santana gives Terry a forearm and the Funks go to the floor to jaw at the fans and rethink things. When things settle back in both sides tag. Santana against Terry is a singles match I'd love to see in this era. It's a shame Santana's two IC title reigns came just before WWF really exploded nationally, he deserved much more exposure in his peak than he really got. Terry gets Santana against the ropes and lays into him with chops. Off a whip Terry almost flies himself over the top rope to the floor, then Santana gives him a 360 clothesline to finish it off. Now JYD will give it a go against Terry. They both load up for punches with JYD hitting first. He pounds away with buckle shots on Terry. Headbutt from JYD and Hoss saves the pin. Toss from JYD and again Terry flies over the top to the floor. After more tags Hoss lays into Santana with uppercuts to turn things around. Speed run and Santana hits the flying forearm. Terry runs in and tackles Santana to break the pin up. Santana/Hoss criss cross. Terry gives Santana a knee in the back from the apron during that. Santana gets tossed out and Hart gets a couple of stomps in on him. JYD runs Hart off and helps Santana gets back in the ring. Suplex from Terry for a long 2. Another suplex attempt. Santana fights it off and hits his own. Midring collision, but Terry falls into his corner and tags Hoss. Double underhook suplex from Hoss for 2. More uppercuts. Double clothesline and Terry hits a legdrop for 2. Santana dodges another one. Terry puts him back down with a headbutt. Santana dodges around and gets a tag to JYD! Double noggin knocker on the Funks. Clothesline on Terry. Terry gets his wrist tape off and tries to choke JYD with it. JYD gets free and backdrops Terry out to the floor! I've lost count how many times Terry's gone over the top to the floor in this match. JYD slams Terry on a ringside table! Hart distracts JYD and takes a shot. Small package from JYD. Hoss breaks it up. DONNYBROOK! Santana puts a figure four on Hoss but ref Dave Hebner makes him break it up since neither are legal. In the confusion Terry's gotten Hart's megaphone. He nails JYD with it, JYD slowly goes down like a redwood tree, and Terry covers him for the pin. Terry Funk almost singlehandedly made this match a blast to watch. Total and complete maniac in the best ways possible. Sadly this would be Terry's next to last match this WWF run. He'd mostly work in All Japan the following couple of years, as well as start dabbling in acting, before hopping to WCW for his legendary '89 run there. ***
 
Pause for the steel cage setup for the main event. To my memory this is the debut of the famous blue bar cage that WWF will use for nearly 15 years before reverting back to the classic chain link cages. The reason given for it is it's been reinforced for Bundy's weight, a regular cage couldn't hold him. Not a lot to say leading into this year's main event. It's Hogan defending against a big seemingly unbeatable monster, a formula that would be followed off and on for many years and perfected at next year's WM. All that was done to set this up was Bundy attacking and injuring Hogan's ribs with multiple avalanches and big splashes on the SNME before this show. Hogan, naturally, says he's 100% coming into this match but there's considerable doubt he really is and he's wrestling against doctor's orders.
 
One last run of celebrities before we get underway. Dodgers manager Tommy Lasorda is the guest ring announcer.  Guest timekeeper is Ricky Schroder, who gets a ton of boos. Guest referee is Robert Conrad, but D Hebner is still out there to be the "proper" ref.
 
Steel Cage Match for the WWF Championship: Hulk Hogan (c) def King Kong Bundy (w/Bobby Heenan) in 11:00- Usual WWF escape only rules here. As usual Hogan shakes the hell out of the cage to make sure it's secure, then climbs to the top to do the shirt tear. His ribs are taped up, another indication he's not 100%. Lockup and we're immediately slugging it out. Hogan gets the early edge off that. Big boot. He chokes Bundy with his own singlet strap. Anything goes. Bundy blocks a cage shot but Hogan stays on him. Corner clothesline. Running elbow. Bundy, as big guys are wont to do, refuses to go down. More blocked cage shots and Bundy gets his first shots into Hogan's hurt ribs. He slams Hogan. Bundy goes for the door. Hogan scrambles over and grabs his foot. Bundy rams Hogan back first into the cage and goes for the door again. Hogan grabs him around the waist to stop him. Bundy rips all the tape off Hogan's ribs and chokes him with it. Then he ties Hogan to the ropes with the tape. Smart. Hogan gets free and just stops Bundy going out the door again. Punches from Hogan and he hits a running corner elbow. Bundy takes his first cage shot. While down he covers up his face, clearly blading. And yup, when he gets back up he's bleeding. Very unusual for WWF at the time, but the cage calls for it. Another cage shots for Bundy. Hogan climbs, but only to choke Bundy on the top rope. He tries to slam Bundy, but the ribs give out/the girth is too much and Bundy falls on him. Bundy crawls for the door. Hogan gets his tape and chokes Bundy with it. Bundy goes to the ol' eye rake to get free. Avalanche! Big splash! Bundy goes for the door. Hogan pops up! He grabs Bundy's foot again. Bundy attacks the ribs again, but Hogan's starting to Hulk Up. Another avalanche has no effect! Hogan reverses a corner whip and hits a powerslam! Legdrop! Hogan struts a bit, then starts to climb. Bundy gets up and stops Hogan. Hogan fights him off! Heenan on the outside is trying to grab at Hogan. Meanwhile, Bundy goes for the door. Hogan wins the race, dropping to the floor to easily win and retain. After the bell Heenan tries to lock himself in the cage to keep Hogan away from him, but Hogan fights his way in, gives Heenan a cage shot, then atomic drops him back out the door. Honestly, I don't hate this match. It's fine. For all his later limitations and issues, '80s Hogan usually had a solid floor as far as match quality goes. The problem is this would have been a passable SNME main event, not a WM main event. **1/4
 
OVERALL SHOW THOUGHTS- The most experimental of all WMs as they were still figuring out the format. Unfortunately almost all the experiments failed. There's a handful of pretty good matches in here, but nothing truly memorable or WM worthy. The technical side of juggling multiple arenas came off without a major hitch at least, but thankfully it's one experiment they'd never try again.
OVERALL SHOW GRADE: D
 
v2.0 published 5/18/26

Wednesday, February 12, 2020

Chi-Town Rumble

Legacy Review

Chi-Town Rumble

February 20, 1989 from the UIC Pavilion in Chicago

Commentary: Jim Ross and Magnum TA

The new Turner regime is experimenting with new PPVs to start what would turn out to be an all-world 1989, headlined by the first match of the legendary Ric Flair vs Ricky Steamboat trilogy. Surprisingly, there was no counter punch from Titan Towers for this show.

The show open has some of the worst music I've ever heard for a wrestling show. Or, ever. The Turner boys are still figuring out how they want to do the presentation. Things open up at a snail's pace with JR and TA listing all the matches, then a long, generic video package of mostly Starrcade '88 footage. Guess they hadn't bought the Crockett tape library yet.

Michael PS Hayes def Russian Assassin I (w/Paul Jones) in 15:48- Assassin I is the Angel of Death. Badstreet USA is still awesome entrance music. This is in a short period where Hayes and fellow Freebird Terry Gordy were both working singles (Jimmy Garvin was out with an injury). Assassin tries a leapfrog. Hayes stops, waits for him to land, and nails him with a punch. Hayes poses on the 2nd rope, senses Assassin coming, and turns around and hits him with a diving punch. Twice. Assassin tries an eye rake but Hayes no sells the following punches and gives us the Freebird strut. A Hayes sunset flip gets 2  Assassin gets a couple of knees to the gut, then kinda nudges Hayes with a .3 Russian Sickle for a 2 count. Long chinlock spot. Hayes powers out and gets a crossbody for 2. A slightly better .5 Sickle puts Hayes right back in Chinlock City. It's like Suplex City, but with chinlocks. Things move slow there. The crowd is pretty dead. Hayes tries for a bulldog but Assassin counters out of it. Hayes dodges a corner charge and Assassin posts his shoulder. Assassin tries for a backdrop, but Hayes counters it into a DDT for the pin. This should have been a 5 minute squash but it went three times as long. Hayes had a pretty big singles push coming so he was trying. *3/4

Steamboat muddles his way through a promo. Never his strong suit. Little baby Richie wants the mic to show dad how to do it.

Before we go any further, I should take a minute and lay out what's going on in this period with the Four Horsemen, because it's a little convoluted. Arn Anderson and Tully Blanchard left for the WWF in mid '88. With only Flair, Barry Windham and JJ Dillon left, the group was called just the Horsemen. The powers that be toyed with the idea of adding new guys to the group (Butch Reed and Windham's jobber brother Kendall being options), but when the calendar turned to '89 another wrench was thrown in: JJ Dillon was leaving to take a backstage job in WWF. WCW wrote him out by having Flair turn on him after losing the tag match where Ricky Steamboat was reintroduced into the company. To fill the managerial gap WCW turned to another old Horsemen "associate", Hiro Matsuda. The group was renamed the Yamazaki Corporation to play into thoughts that were prevalent in the late '80s that Japan's economy, booming from their dominance of the electronics and computer industries and starting to challenge the US in car manufacturing, would soon overtake the US as the world's #1 economy.

Sting def "Hacksaw" Butch Reed (w/Hiro Matsuda) in 20:07- A jobber entrance for Sting?! Oh, looks like the intros happened during Steamboat's promo. Sting ducks a punch and hits an atomic drop with a super sell from Reed. They go power vs speed for a bit. JR says Reed used to be a steer wrestler. Yeah, but did he ever wrestle a bear? Sting does a nice Destino like flip to switch from a blocked hip toss to an armdrag. He then shows some strength by holding onto a headlock while Reed tries to push him off into the ropes. Another nice Sting counter, a blocked hip toss into a backslide for 2. Reed gets some punches in but Sting dodges a corner charge. Reed uses Sting's momentum off the ropes to send him outside. A ringside cameraman gets caught on hard camera gesturing to fans in the crowd to boo. Reed works through punches and chokes. Matusda-san gets a choke in. Reed goes to the heel 101 playbook to keep Sting in a chinlock. Sting twists Reed into the turnbuckles to get out. He tries a Vader Bomb (he's too small!) but Reed gets his knees up and we're right back in the restholds. Sting jaw jacks out, ducks under a couple of clothesline attempts and hits one of his own. The crowd loves him. Sting gets a sunset flip. Reed grabs the top rope to keep from going over but for some reason ref (and future Reed manager) Teddy Long kicks him off. Reed drops down and covers Sting's shoulders with his knees, but tries to grab the rope for leverage and Long catches him. Sting rolls him over to complete the sunset flip and gets the pin. Another rung on the ladder of Sting's rise to the top. Reed was not the kind of guy to carry a match, but he could be a decent complimentary piece to a good worker. Another match that went twice as long as it needed to be. **1/4

Promo with Paul E Dangerously and the Original Midnights. Wait, that's not the Originals. That's Randy Rose and....Jack Victory? Dennis Condry pulled another one of his famous disappearing acts before this show, necessitating a last second substitution. Paul E plays it off as strategery.

Loser Leaves NWA Match: The Midnight Express & Jim Cornette def The Original Midnight Express & Paul E Dangerously in 15:51- Just to clarify, only the loser of the fall has to leave, not the whole team. Loopholes are fun. And convenient. Paul E's warm up "punches" are amazing. Cornette wants to start and he wants Paul E, but Lane and Rose end up starting. Rose gets the Flair throw off the top. The faces TRIPLE team Victory. Yes, Cornette even gets a shot in. Eaton gives Rose a series of stiff right hands, then another triple team sequence and another Cornette shot. The heels work Eaton into their corner and Paul E goes for a shot, but hits Rose instead. Rose is miffed. Rose throws Eaton off the apron and into the guardrail. Paul E tags in, gets a bunch of kicks in on Eaton, but Eaton no sells it all (realistic) and Paul E skedaddles for a tag. Cornette tags in and tries to get at Paul E, but Rose ambushes him from behind. Once Cornette is safely down Paul E tags in again. The managers work a proper match and do a pretty nice job of it. While Paul E plays to the crowd Cornette nails him from behind. The heels work Cornette over more until Eaton intervenes, allowing Cornette to tag out. Paul E distracts Lane and Victory gets him with a knee in the back. Lane is face in peril. After a bit Lane dodges a corner charge and gets the hot tag to Eaton. Beautiful missile dropkick from Eaton. Eaton physically forces Victory to tag Paul E in. Cornette is back in. Cornette hits a .4 clothesline and covers but Rose makes the save. Cornette tags out. DONNYBROOK! Rose misses a dive off the top. Lane covers but Victory breaks it up. The heels have a midring collision. The Express get Rose up and hit him with a double flapjack, and that gets the 3! Randy Rose is out of the NWA. Not as good as their Starrcade match, but considering the last second substitution it went about as well as it could have. Cornette and Paul E played their roles perfectly, and would continue to feud off and on the next few years. ***1/4

Bob Caudle is in the back with Flair, who shows Steamboat how to cut a promo. Whether you like it or don't like it, learn to love it, because it's the best thing going today! WOOOOOOOOO!

NWA World Television Championship: Mike Rotunda def Rick Steiner (c) (w/Scott Steiner) in 16:21- This is Scott's NWA/WCW debut. Steiner beat Rotunda for the title at Starrcade in the (supposed) culmination of probably the hottest feud in the company at that time. The same heat is not there for this rematch. Rotunda gets straight to the stalling, but overall it's not as bad as usual and a much quicker start than the Starrcade match. Lots of amateur takedowns showing off both guys' backgrounds. Rotunda takes advantage of a rope break to get the first punch in. He ducks to the outside to avoid a Steinerline, but a minute later gets clobbered with one and get his foot up on the rope to break the pin. Rotunda offers an insincere handshake. Abdominal stretch! Scott tries to tell Teddy Long that there's a 141 2/3% chance Rotunda is using the rope. Long breaks it up and Steiner reverses into a pin but they're under the ropes. Rotunda gets another rope break cheap shot. He goes for a reverse crossbody off the 2nd rope (and damn near botches it by landing on his feet) but Steiner reverses it for 2. They go outside. Steiner gets posted and starts bleeding. What happened to the no blood rule? Steiner recovers and gets a powerslam for 2. Kevin Sullivan has slithered out to ringside. He grabs a mic and tells Steiner "That's a nice dog you have in the dressing room." Steiner walks out and is clearly worried. I would be too. Knowing Sullivan he could either be sacrificing that dog to The Great Mowjal or eating it. Or both. Rotunda grabs the distracted Steiner and Saito suplexes him for 2. Steiner gets his head back in the game and hooks in a sleeper. Rotunda is going out but he's laying on top of Steiner and Steiner's shoulders are down. Long counts the 3 as Steiner pins himself! Weak ending. Sullivan's run out was completely pointless in the end. Steiner's singles push was cut short but he's moving into teaming up with his brother and I think that turned out OK. Rotunda winning the belt back would just be a transition as Sting would beat him for his first title a month later. This match didn't have the heat or great moment of Steiner winning that Starrcade did, but thanks to a faster pace and less stalling turned out as the better match. ***

NWA United States Heavyweight Championship: Lex Luger def Barry Windham (c) (w/Hiro Matsuda) in 10:43- Luger shoves Windham during instructions. Luger locks in an early sleeper but Windham suplexes out. Luger no sells it. Press slam! Luger does a unique whip, holding on while Windham tries to reverse it and still sending Windham into the corner. Luger tries a dive of the top but crashes and burns and slides all the way outside. Windham goes to work with the glove and busts Luger open above his right eye. They go out again and Luger eats barricade. Windham charges but Luger ducks out and Windham punches the ring post. Ow. Both guys take time to recover. Luger's bleeding above his eye. Windham's wrist is bleeding and barely functional. Windham manages to stay in control but hurts himself as much as Luger when he tries to punch. He hooks on the Claw, but after a minute his wrist gives out on that too. Tommy Young tries to check it but Windham refuses. Windham manages to hoist Luger up and superplexes him for a close 2 count. Windham gives Luger a bridged suplex and they do the finish where all four shoulders are down but Luger gets one up at 2 and Windham is pinned. Luger wins the title! Windham snaps and gives Luger a piledriver, indicating the feud must continue, but Windham was actually on his way out to the WWF (for a run that was cut short due to real life scandal and he'd be back in WCW within a year). It would have been nice if the wrist injury had played more directly into the finish, and the finish was a little redundant after the Rotunda/Steiner match having a similar one, but it was still very well done. ***1/2

NWA World Tag Team Championship: The Road Warriors (c) (w/Paul Ellering) def The Varsity Club in 8:27- The Road Warriors are kinda popular in their native Chicago. We've got three guys perfect for a stiff hoss match....and Kevin Sullivan. Sullivan and Animal start. Animal no sells a clothesline then kills Sullivan with one of his own. Sullivan tries to go off the top but Animal catches and powerslams him. Animal and Williams have a good shoulderblock standoff. Animal gets a powerslam. Williams takes a quick powder. When he gets back in he gives Hawk a press slam. Hawk answers back with a stiff clothesline. While Sullivan has the ref distracted the Roadies double clothesline Williams. Not a normal double clothesline. One from front and one from behind. Sensational. That gets a long 2 count. After another ref distraction Animal is thrown over the top and out, and Sullivan follows with a chair shot to the arm that had been hurt during the build. The heels work the wounded arm for a while and use toe and leg holds to keep Animal face in peril. They're keeping the pace up very well. Williams almost slips coming off the ropes. Double clothesline. Hot tag to Hawk! DONNYBROOK! Animal gets Sullivan in Doomsday Device position. Williams comes from behind and chop blocks Animal down. Hawk says eff it and clotheslines Sullivan off the top rope anyway, and gets the pin! There was a lot of promise here. I wish time had been cut off the first two matches and given to this one. **3/4

MAIN EVENT FEUD RECAP- Ricky Steamboat came back to the NWA at the start of '89 and in his first match back got a pinfall win over Ric Flair in a tag match at the original NWA studio. An enraged Flair laid down the challenge right after. The feud was soon framed as the limo riding, jet flying, expensive suit wearing, women dripping off arms Nature Boy vs family man Steamboat. In the last standoff before the big match Flair told Steamboat "Why don't you go back home and help the missus with the dishes?". Steamboat attacked and ripped Flair's expensive suit off, and Flair beat Steamboat up in his tightie whities.

NWA World Heavyweight Championship: Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat def "Nature Boy" Ric Flair (c) (w/Hiro Matsuda) in 23:18- Flair's got all the women with him tonight. He gets a pretty decent ovation. Chicago. And, Flair. This is the feud that would lead to an organic face turn for him at the end of it. Chicago being Chicago, there's audible "Steamboat sucks" chants at several points in the match. Steamboat goes for a quick cover 10 seconds in. Flair takes a step back. Flair drops down for a trip attempt. Steamboat stops and wraps him in a headlock. Flair tries to flip out, Steamboat turns it into a roll up for 2. Flair takes a breather. Here come the chops! They go to them regularly throughout the match and they never get old. After a huge backdrop Flair begs off. More stiff chops. They stand and stare for a few seconds before locking up again, a subtle but very effective tension builder. Steamboat slides between Flair's legs and hits a dropkick. Flair's chops are absolute cannon blasts. Steamboat's aren't far behind. If this was HD you'd be able to really see both guy's chests welling up. Steamboat tries another flash pin and Flair takes another short walk. Flair wins a shoulderblock exchange to get some momentum, but on a run Steamboat gives him a two handed chop and Flair does a Flair Flop through the ropes and out! Steamboat teases coming off the top but backs off. Flair cautiously tries to lock up then backs of and screams at Steamboat for being a coward. Mind games. We get a run of several high octane flying moves from Steamboat. That's the 1989 equivalent of Ricochet or Ospreay. Flair nails Steamboat with a back elbow. Steamboat comes back with chops. The last one sends Flair over the top and out again. Flair takes his time at the apron getting back in, suckering Steamboat in. He grabs Steamboat's feet, drags him under the ropes, and gives him a guardrail shot and more chops. Flair starts working through his usuals, including the knee drop for 2 and a double underhook suplex that only gets 1. Another stiff chop exchange. Flair Flip! He lands on his feet, runs across the apron to the other side, hops up to the top rope, AND ACTUALLY GETS OFF! Crossbody! Steamboat reverses it and locks his fingers but it only gets 2! The crowd is going crazy. Flair with an inverted atomic drop. Figure four! Flair plays the rope leverage game. Steamboat is in it for a long while. Tommy Young finally catches Flair using the ropes but Flair isn't worried, he's got Steamboat where he wants him. He thinks. Steamboat tries to come back with chops. Flair chops and punches back. Flair ducks a clothesline and on the rebound goes for a jumping crossbody, but it's close to the ropes and both guys tumble over the top and out! Steamboat gets posted. Flair suplexes him back in for a long 2 count. Flair tries for pins with his feet on the ropes but Steamboat won't stay down. While Flair argues with the crowd Steamboat rolls him up for 2. Flair dodges a Steamboat dive off the 2nd rope. They do the bridge up spot, but instead of a backslide Steamboat hits a double underhook suplex and Flair JUST gets a foot on the rope at 2. Steamboat goes up top and hits the flying chop. He goes up top again and nails the crossbody! But Young was in the way! Ref bump! No one is there to count! Flair grabs the tights and rolls Steamboat up, but there's still no ref. Flair throws him over the top but Steamboat half skins the cat to get on the apron, goes up top again, and misses! Flair goes for the figure four again, but Steamboat rolls him into a Paul Smackage! Teddy Long is in the ring and counts the 3! Steamboat wins the title! Absolute perfection. This was quite possibly the best wrestling match ever to that point, until Flair and Steamboat get in the ring together again. ****** (yes, that's 6)

Bob Caudle is in the locker room as the faces bury Steamboat in champagne. Steamboat promises Flair an immediate rematch.

OVERALL SHOW THOUGHTS- The magic NWA year of 1989 is off to a good start. The undercard has nothing awful and a few pretty good matches, and it's topped off by one of the most legendary matches ever.
OVERALL SHOW GRADE: A-

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