Summerslam '91

Legacy Review

Summerslam '91

August 27, 1991 from Madison Square Garden

Commentary: Gorilla Monsoon, Bobby Heenan and Roddy Piper

This show is booked around two features: the "Match Made in Heaven", the storyline wedding of Randy Savage, still in forced retirement from Wrestlemania 7, and Elizabeth (in real life already married since the mid-80s and just doing a vow renewal for TV), and the "Match Made in Hell" the absolute final honest to God blowoff of the long running Hogan/Slaughter feud that's lasted about three times as long as the Gulf War. In the intro package Vince transitions between the two with the it's so awful but so hilarious line "Nuptials turn to napalm!".

It's a molten hot crowd in MSG tonight. They're going nuts the entire ballyhoo intro from commentary.

"The British Bulldog" Davey Boy Smith, Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat & "The Texas Tornado" Kerry Von Erich def Power & Glory and The Warlord (w/Slick) in 10:43- The heels are teaming because they're all managed by Slick. Why the faces are teaming, you've got me. This is Steamboat's only PPV match during his brief 1991 return to WWF that wouldn't even last the full year. Going from resetting the bar for all time great matches with Ric Flair to curtain jerking in a random 6 man team might have had something to do with that. Steamboat and Roma start. Steramboat's in super selling mode already. He DEEP armdrags Roma off the 2nd rope. They start trading off. Tornado works Herc over for a bit, then Bulldog and Warlord renew acquaintances from Wrestlemania 7 with some shoulderblock no sells. Steamboat runs circles around Warlord before a blocked monkey flip puts him in face in peril status. It's a full on selling clinic from Steamboat as he works in some hope spots. Finally he catches Warlord coming off the second rope with a boot to the face counter and gets the hot tag to Tornado. Warlord does a sunset flip! Wow. That was like watching live action slow motion. The end sequence is a bit muddled. Warlord catches Bulldog on a cross body attempt. While still holding Bulldog, Tornado hits Warlord with the discus punch. Bulldog falls on top but only gets two. Then they go into semi-donnybrook with Tornado holding the Claw on Herc in the corner, which goes on so long during the rest of the finish they both visibly start wondering if they're supposed to be doing something else. Bulldog powerslams Roma, but then gets confused as to whether he's supposed to tag out or cover. He finally decides on cover, and Roma kicks out at 2. Then he tags Steamboat, who hits the crossbody off the top to end it, but fights to keep his balance before launching. Very un-Steamboat like. Despite the slightly confused finish, it's a perfectly acceptable opener. **1/2

WWF Intercontinental Championship: Bret "Hitman" Hart def Mr. Perfect (c) (w/The Coach) in 18:04- Bret Hart singles push, finally engaged. Perfect is working with a badly damaged back. It's amazing he can even get in the ring, much less still go at about 75% of his usual. Coach is John Tolos, a semi-famous wrestler from the '50s and '60s. He's one of the shortest lived, least relevant managers there's ever been. The only reason anyone would remember him at all is because he was managing Perfect for this match. Bret's parents Stu and Helen Hart are in the crowd. I don't think they're here to see him lose. Perfect goes for a classic Hennig sell early, doing a full spinaroonie on the mat and sliding out to the floor on a hiptoss. Bret locks in a series of headlocks that Perfect tries to pull hair to get out of. Bret answers by using Perfect's hair to pull him back in! Never afraid to do a little rule bending, Bret. He always had that edge. Perfect tries some rope break shenanigans, including a wicked stiff chop, but Bret sticks with the ground game. Perfect does a 360 degree sell just because. There's a small miscommunication hesitation on a clothesline over the top spot where Bret waits for Perfect to get in position. Perfect decides to take a walk, and you can see he's favoring his back. Bret grabs him by the singlet and rips it in half pulling him back into the ring. Ring Gearhead note: Perfect wrestles the rest of the match with a torn singlet. Monsoon: "Concerned look on the faces of Stu and Helen Hart." Heenan: "You know why? They snuck in here, they're scared the usher will find them!" Perfect gets a cheap shot in over the ref during a contested rope break. Bret goes outside. Perfect casually leaps over the top rope to the floor, gives Bret another stiff chop, then casually uses Bret's lower back as a step back into the ring. As Bret tries to get in Perfect uses the ropes to fling him off the apron and Bret does that apron to guardrail dive he loved doing so much. A photographer gets squashed between him and the rail. Bret tries to come back, getting a roll up, but Perfect gives him a punch in the throat. Bret's hitting the turnbuckles at 100 MPH as usual. After going outside again they both start climbing the ropes from opposite ends on the outside. Perfect pushes Bret off into the ring, then falls on top of him for a 2 count. He starts jawing with the ref. Heenan: "Leave the ref alone Perfect, don't get disqualified!" Monsoon: "If he gets disqualified he keeps the title." Heenan: "All right, then nail him!" Perfect flips Bret out of the corner across the ring by his hair. Bret fights out of a sleeper and locks in a crucifix, but Perfect drops on top of him. More stiff chops from Perfect. Was he watching a lot of Flair matches before this? There's a tease for later. Bret bump! Man, it looked like he really went face first into the top turnbuckle there. Perfect hooks in the Perfectplex! But for only two! Commentary says no one's ever kicked out of the Perfectplex, which is almost right. No one but Hulking Up Hulk Hogan. The crowd is going crazy. Bret returns the favor from earlier and flips Perfect across the ring by the hair. Perfect slides all the way into the ring post. Five Moves of Doom! Bret starts arguing balls and strikes with the ref and Perfect gets a roll up. Bret's kick out pushes Perfect all the way outside. Perfect gets posted. You can see Perfect's back is really starting to go now, he's barely hanging on, gutting it out to the end. Bret goes for the Sharpshooter but Coach jumps up on the apron. Bret gives him a punch, which Coach gives a fantastic slo-mo rolling off the apron sell for. While Bret's in the ropes Perfect kicks the second rope right into Bret's crotch. Perfect hits a ledgrop between Hart's legs to his midsection. He goes for a second one, but Bret blocks it, grabs Perfect's leg, ties him up in Sharpshooter position, and rolls him over to lock it in! Perfect submits almost instantly. What a finish. What a match. As Perfect leaves Bret strips the shreds of his singlet off of him. On one shoulder Bret has the IC title belt, on the other the torn remains of Perfect's ring gear. I think this Bret Hart guy is going to turn out just fine. Perfect would take a year off from wrestling to heal his back up and would transition into being the proxy Heenan manager for Ric Flair, being the one at ringside while Heenan worked in the background. And you think this match was great, wait until you see the rematch at King of the Ring '93 when Bret had more singles experience and Perfect was closer to fully healthy again. ****3/4

Commercial for HOT TICKET, a short lived WWF PPV experiment that featured documentaries and archival footage. The first one was on, who else, Hulk Hogan.

The Natural Disasters (w/Jimmy Hart) def The Bushwackers (w/Andre the Giant) in 6:27- This is the closest to the Quake/Andre feud I'm sure Vince wanted he could get because Andre was far too far gone physically to wrestle anymore. A couple of months before this Jimmy Hart announced he had signed Andre to be Quake's tag team partner. Andre took umbrage, but while he was arguing with Hart, Quake took his knee out with Hart's megaphone. A couple of weeks later during a six man match between Quake and the Nasty Boys vs Tugboat and the Bushwackers, Tugboat turned on his partners and joined the dark side, revealing a secret deal he had made with Hart. He was soon rebranded as Typhoon, joining Quake as the Natural Disasters. Poor Andre gets saddled with the worst possible vehicles for his revenge. The Bushwackers give the Disasters a double eye poke before the bell, but then do nothing to follow up on it. Interesting strategery. No one ever accused the Bushwackers of having higher brain functions. Monsoon asks Heenan what his strategy would be if he managed the Bushwackers against the Disasters. Heenan: "If I managed the Bushwackers I'd commit suicide." Luke bites Typhoon's ass, then the Bushwackers get the Disasters to run into each other a couple of times. When you're getting outsmarted by the Bushwackers, your best course of action is to get back in bed and hope tomorrow it gets better. Quake says enough of this crap and ambushes Luke from behind, and Luke is your face in peril. Heenan says he got a note from one of his flunkies saying that Hulk Hogan has just arrived in his dressing room, he's going to go confront him, and leaves commentary. Now what's this all about? Luke dodges a double team shot and gets the hot tag to Butch. The Bushwackers get battering rams on both Disasters but can't/won't follow up. Quake takes Luke outside and destroys him, then the Disasters squash Butch in the ring to end it. The Disasters go for Andre, but the Legion of Doom come out to make the save. They haven't even won the tag titles yet and already their next feud is set up. Considering who was in there this was actually better than you'd think it would be. Still doesn't say much. This was Andre's final major appearance on WWF TV. *1/2

We go backstage to Bobby Heenan, who's walking up to Hogan's dressing room door. Wait, what's that he's carrying. That's.....that's THE BIG GOLD BELT. Heenan's got the Big Gold Belt! What is going on here? Heenan knocks, the door opens a crack, we don't see who's on the other side. Heenan: "On behalf of the REAL WORLD'S CHAMPION RIC FLAIR (OH MY GOD), I'd like to challenge you, Hogan..." *door slam* Heenan flips out. I absolutely, 100% guarantee that if there was a publicly available internet anywhere near like the modern internet, the wrestling internet would have imploded, exploded and melted down at this moment. Think AJ Styles' surprise WWE debut at the 2016 Royal Rumble, but double. This was the wrestling equivalent of a nuclear bomb smuggled into the middle of Summerslam. Of course Monsoon and Piper only laugh off Heenan being humiliated and don't address the larger issues. That would come later. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

The Million Dollar Belt On The Line: Virgil def "The Million Dollar Man" Ted DiBiase (w/Sensational Sherri) in 13:11- Virgil jumps DiBiase from behind before the bell while he's posing. Who's the heel here? DiBiase gets clotheslined over the top, and after a spell Virgil follows, giving him a shot on the steps. DiBiase goes over the top and out again off an atomic drop. Virgil goes for a plancha but DiBiase dodges and Virgil splats on the floor. Wow, that was a straight fall and bump. Impressive. Sadly commentary doesn't even notice because they're too busy making fun of Heenan for getting a door slammed in his face. Now DiBiase repays Virgil for the stair shots with some of his own. DiBiase asserts control, giving a textbook performance on how to mix and pace hitting moves versus playing to the crowd. Virgil ducks a clothesline and hooks in his own Million Dollar Dream. Two Buck Dream? Olive Garden Dream! Got it. Sherri comes in and whacks Virgil with the Purse of Extreme Solidity +1 right in front of the ref. The ref calls for the bell and confers with Fink. Fink announces that the ref could DQ DiBiase, but instead he's sending Sherri to the back and restarting the match. He threatens Sherri with "permanent suspension". So, firing? As the match restarts Virgil takes control. DiBiase reverses a whip into a ref bump. DiBiase works Virgil over with some suplexes and a piledriver, and covers for what would be three but there's no ref. The heel gets screwed on the ref bump? What a twist. DiBiase finally takes advantage of the ref being down to do something illegal, taking the top turnbuckle pad off. But he ends up taking the shot as Virgil recovers and reverses. Both guys are down. Virgil slooooooooooooooowly crawls over and drapes an arm over DiBiase, and Hebner gives us the patented match end slow count to finish it. Virgil wins the Million Dollar Belt. Heenan: "He'll probably have it bronzed." Solid stuff. ***

Mean Gene is with the Mountie, some NYPD officers, and a paddy wagon. Mountie tells the "local hick cops" exactly how he wants "Mountie justice" to be enforced after he beats Boss Man, going over all the ways he wants them to mistreat Boss Man. Fortunately Internal Affairs doesn't have a representative present. I predict there's exactly a 2.2164% chance this all blows up in the Mountie's face. 

Jailhouse Match: The Big Boss Man def The Mountie (w/Jimmy Hart) in 9:38- The loser of the match has to spend the night in a New York City jail. That's actually a great stipulation that to my mind has only ever been done this one time, at least for major companies. As soon as the Mountie debuted you knew this feud was coming. Even 12 year old me just getting started with wrestling knew this was coming. Mountie does some jawjacking, so Boss Man jacks his jaw with a straight right that decks him. It's a punchfest to start. Boss Man hits a big splash for 2. Boss Man counters a counter on a rope splash attempt and slides outside to scare off Hart. When he gets back in Mountie gives him the ol' eye poke. That's number 47 on the list of Mountie crowd pacification techniques. Not that they ever need them in Canada. Best to be prepared, though. There might be a hockey fight. Boss Man catches Mountie off the second rope and plants him with a spinebuster. Hart distracts again and Boss Man chases after him, allowing Mountie to shove him from behind into the steps. Mountie takes over with his usual slow, boring offense. Whatever happened to the Jacuqes Rougeau from the Rougeau Brothers? That guy could move. Mountie hits a piledriver but doesn't cover, instead he signals Hart to distract the ref while he gets the cattle prod. Boss Man dodges the prod and uppercuts it right out of Mountie's hand. Boss Man hits the Boss Man Slam (Rock Bottom), but Mountie kicks out at 2! Mountie goes for another piledriver, but Boss Man counters it into an Alabama Slam, and gets the 3! Boss Man signals the NYPD to come out and cuff the Mountie up. This was in Boss Man's peak period as a worker, but it was too much of a Mountie match to be anything other than OK. **1/4

The cameras follow as Boss Man and the cops drag the Mountie to the back and all the way into the paddy wagon. You can see Mountie fighting like a little kid that was told no McDonald's all the way out. Well, in my day it was no McDonald's. Now I guess, no phone?

Intermission time in the arena means promo time on TV. DiBiase is pissed. Bret's happy. Hart wants his lawyer. Okerlund goes to talk to Savage while giving his most subtle shill for a 900 number you'll ever see. Savage doesn't want to talk, so Okerlund decides to go see Elizabeth. Savage cuts that off right quick. Elsewhere, the Mountie arrives at the jail. He's in full shackles now. The cops drag him around while Mountie whines that they can't do this to him and they're hurting his arms. He refuses to show his face for his booking picture, but the photographer gets his attention by saying "So the Boss Man kicked your butt, huh?" Then, when they try to fingerprint him he refuses to cooperate. The cop demands Mountie to give him his finger, so Mountie goes "You want a finger? Here's the finger!" and full on with no blurring, pixelating or cutting away flips the bird on WWF TV in 1991. Sorry, Austin wasn't the first. The cop in proper professional fashion takes the finger offered and proceeds with the fingerprinting. During the Nasty Boys' promo Sags says that LOD and Jack Tunney "coagulated" to make the stips. They......became congealed blood?

Lastly, we get some footage from earlier in the night adding to the intrigue of Sid Justice reffing the main event- hidden camera footage (sadly not GTV) of Slaughter and his gang cornering Justice in the hallway and Slaughter offering Justice a spot in the "corps" if Justice played ball tonight. Slaughter had to have had a better offer than First Lieutenant. 

No Countout/No DQ Match for the WWF Tag Team Championship: The Legion of Doom def The Nasty Boys (c) (w/Jimmy Hart) in 7:45- Look up "foregone conclusion" in the wrestling dictionary and you'll see a picture of this match. LOD came in to WWF so over that all the WWF fans that never saw a second of them in other companies were instantly cheering for them. Not to mention their next feud was already fully set up earlier in the show. LOD Suzuki-Guns the Nastys while they still have their spikes on. They break off into pairs outside. Animal power bombs Knobs but Sags makes the save. Sags sprays Hawk in the eyes and Hawk falls outside blinded. Sags hits him in the back with a loaded drinks tray. Hawk goes full FIP. They choke Hawk with the tag rope. Sags hits an elbow off the top but only gets 2. Hawk catches Knobbs on a dive off the 2nd rope and gets the hot tag to Animal. DONNYBROOK! There's a nice spot where the Knobbs holds Animal down so Sags can hit him with Hart's motorcycle helmet. Animal dodges, but Sags, having presumably seen a wresting match before, anticipates the dodge and stops, then whacks Animal in the back. That still only gets 2. Hawk takes Hart out, plucks the helmet out of midair where Hart threw it, and nails both Nastys with it. Doomsday Device and good night. LOD becomes the first and only team to hold the tag titles in all three of the largest companies of the 1980s- the AWA, NWA and WWF. The match didn't play into the stips nearly as well as it could have. It was just the wrong time. A few years before this, presuming the Nastys being in the NWA with LOD/Road Warriors, it would have been a bloodbath. A few years later that this, and it would have been an all arena brawl with crazy hardcore high spots like the Nastys did with Mick Foley in WCW. **

Back to the jail. The cops are escorting Mountie to the drunk tank. Mountie claims that he's calmed down and will walk, then immediately tries to run. 

Irwin R. Schyster def Greg "The Hammer" Valentine in 7:07- Mike Rotunda returned to the WWF soon after Wrestlemania 7 and debuted the IRS gimmick, another for the list showing Vince's mastery of subtlety. Valentine was in the twilight of his career and had settled into JTTS mode. Heenan quips that this match is "the figure four vs the W4". Nice. Some very basic sequences to start, with Valentine getting the upper hand in all of them. IRS takes a couple of powders. Valentine follows on the second one and IRS catches him with a boot as he gets back in. Rotunda locks in his famous abdominal stretch. Famous in the same way Orton is famous for the chinlock. Valentine hiplocks out. IRS goes to the top, but gets jawing with the crowd, allowing Valentine to give him the Flair throw. IRS misses a kneelift and knees the top buckle, opening up for the figure four. Valentine works the knee and locks it in, but IRS gets to the ropes. Valentine goes for it again, but IRS pulls him by the hair into a Mr. Small Package for the 3. Way too 50/50 to get IRS over, Valentine couldn't do much at this point, and while Rotunda was always a gifted technical wrestler he never mastered the art of making any of it interesting or enjoyable to watch. * 

Main Event Feud recap- On the surface this looks like simply Hogan vs Slaughter continued, but there's actually many different stories intersecting here, some of which are very interesting, mainly on the Warrior side. And I'm not even talking about the backstage stuff, I'll get to that later. So, in a Coliseum Video exclusive from backstage at Wrestlemania 7, Slaughter threw a "fireball" (flash paper) into Hogan's face as he left the arena, signaling the feud must continue. Soon after Wrestlemania The Iron Sheik returned to WWF and was added to Slaughter's brigade as Col. Mustafa, making it a full blown stable known as the Triangle of Terror (too bad they didn't come up with Axis of Evil a decade early). Now, to Warrior's side. After retiring Savage at WM 7 Warrior started a new feud with the Undertaker, Taker's first high profile feud and also one of the last true house show feuds done by WWF. A house show feud being a feud set up on TV but designed solely for the house show loop, then still WWF's #1 income source, with no TV blowoff. (In fact, the first show I ever went to in El Paso in the summer of '91 was main evented by an Undertaker/Warrior Body Bag Match) As part of the TV build for the feud, Warrior recruited Jake "The Snake" Roberts to help him "understand the dark side". Over a few weeks of TV Roberts put Warrior through trials, culminating in him telling Warrior to open a box that contained the secrets he sought. But inside the box was a cobra that bit Warrior in the face. Taker and Paul Bearer walk in, revealing that Roberts had been working with them all along, kicking off Roberts' wonderful '91-'92 heel run. In the immortal words of Roberts, "Never trust a snake". Jamie Noble would have told you. So while Warrior was in this match because it was Summerslam tradition to have the top guys in a tag match in the main event, his program with Roberts was still waiting to start fully and Taker was still lurking too. Prematch promos and commentary both reference Warrior "surviving" the cobra bite. And layered on top of all this is WWF newcomer Sid Justice (AKA Sid Vicious, AKA Psycho Sid, AKA Sid, AKA that guy that broke his leg during a PPV, AKA I have half the brains that you do). Justice was assigned as the special guest ref for this match. As seen earlier, there was much intrigue as to where Sid's loyalty lied. 

Handicap Tag Team Match: WWF Champion Hulk Hogan & The Ultimate Warrior def Sgt. Slaughter, Col. Mustafa and Gen. Adnan in 12:40- Sheik is extremely committed to his silly walk march. Lots of stalling at the start. Justice calls for the bell even though it's already rung. We're live, pal. Justice takes a strap away from Slaughter. Finally we have contact, I don't know how long in. Hogan takes over and Slaughter does his jumping over the buckle Bret bump. Hogan and Warrior work quick tags on Slaughter. Justice breaks up Hogan choking Slaughter, allowing Slaughter to get a cheap shot in and put Hogan face in peril. Oh hell, Adnan's in. He punches and does back rakes. Lots and lots of back rakes. Hogan and Sheiky Baby renew acquaintances, in the same building that Hogan defeated him for the WWF title to birth Hulkamania. Camel clutch to break his back and make him humble! Warrior breaks it up. Slaughter comes in and works on offense about 300 times faster than usual. Slaughter reverses a whip so Hogan crashes into Justice. Both no sell. You can sense the crowd getting nervous about this. Slaughter goes up top but Warrior pushes him off, allowing Hogan to get the hot tag. Now Warrior and Justice collide with more no sells. Slaughter takes advantage and Warrior goes FIP. Warrior hits a flying clothesline and gets hot tag two to Hogan. The punches and big boot follow. Warrior grabs a chair and chases Adnan and Sheik all the way to the back, disappearing from WWF TV until Wrestlemania 8. Hogan throws a handful of powder in Slaughter's face behind Justice's back (what a cheat!), hits the legdrop and we're done. Afterward Hogan invites Justice, not Warrior, to the post match pose down. 'S all right. The whole Justice angle managed to add to the match rather than take away from it. Slaughter would take some time off then come back later in the year as full American patriot Slaughter again. **1/2

So, Warrior backstage stuff. About a month before Summerslam Warrior demanded Vince pay him money he thought he was still due from WM 7 and various other things including merch sales. He threatened to no show the PPV unless he was paid. Supposedly when they got wind both Hogan and Slaughter offered to take care of the situation "physically" but Vince stood them down. Vince paid Warrior what he asked for to ensure he made the show as advertised, then, and this is where reports conflict, either fired Warrior as soon as he returned to the back after the match (something Vince was champing at the bit to do according to this side of the story), or suspended Warrior and Warrior quit out of principle. Either way, Warrior vanished from WWF until his surprise return at WM 8, and his planned feud with Roberts had to be scuttled.

We visit the Mountie one last time. He has to deal with a drunk guy, and drunk guy's buddy, a biker looking guy who asks the infamous question "Don't you love the way leather feels against your body?". Mountie wants out before exits become entrances and things get really ugly. 

The Match Made in Heaven- Full wedding hooplah. Savage is in full gold. Elizabeth looks lovely. But just as the ceremony starts, Hulk Hogan comes back out! Hogan wants to know why he's not the best man? The Mega Powers made up, what's going on here? Savage grabs the mic and says "Why? You ask why, Hogan? I'll tell you why. THOSE EYES RIGHT THERE STILL LUST ELIZABETH!" Elizabeth looks shocked, Hogan and Savage look like they're about to fight. But before anything else can happen, they're both jumped from behind! It's the Undertaker and Jake Roberts! They lay out Hogan and Savage, and Taker grabs Elizabeth! He's kidnapping the bride! No wait.......it's Fake Undertaker! Fake Undertaker is kidnapping Elizabeth! While Roberts covers Fake Taker scrambles out and dumps Elizabeth in the back of a waiting limo. We see the inside, as the front screen goes down, and it's the real Undertaker! "WHERE TO, ELIZABETH? HAHAHAHAHAHA!" and he drives off. Roberts grabs the mic, says "Haven't you learned? Never trust a snake!" and runs off while Hogan and Savage recover.......

Nah, just kidding. None of that happened. Savage and Elizabeth have the only normal TV wedding in the history of professional wrestling. At least while TV is still on the air. But later on in another Coliseum Video exclusive we see highlights of the reception. It's all going normal until the couple start opening gifts, and out of a box pops Roberts' pet cobra! Taker and Roberts storm the reception. Taker knocks out Savage and Roberts threatens Elizabeth with the cobra (while Elizabeth visibly corpses). Yes, that bit did happen. That was the set up for the Roberts/Savage feud that would replace Roberts/Warrior and would see Savage reinstated as a wrestler. It would also, indirectly, lead to Undertaker's face turn. 

OVERALL SHOW THOUGHTS- Like other shows from the early WWF PPV era, the whole is greater than the sum of the parts. While there's no blowaway star ratings outside Hart/Perfect, the whole show is entertaining, and a crowd pleaser as the faces go over in all the matches that matter. It's also filled to the brim with historic moments- Bret's first singles title win, LOD completing the company triple crown, Heenan flashing Big Gold and namedropping Ric Flair on WWF TV for the first time, the Mountie jail bits which are both funny and surprisingly edgy for the time, Warrior's temporary disappearance, and the wedding. Sadly, Piper doesn't contribute much to commentary other than to occasionally disrupt the perfect Monsoon/Heenan double act. 

OVERALL SHOW GRADE: B+

G1 Climax 29 Preview

Johnny Legacy's Deep Thoughts

G1 Climax 29 Preview

So you're looking to be crazy like us Pod TFC Krue guys and have your own little G1 fantasy league? Well, this is the article for you! Here I'll attempt to rank all the wrestlers in the tournament in the rough order they should be drafted, while at the same time looking at their outlook for the real thing. Everyone else writes a boring preview column, I'm trying to put a unique spin on things that I hope you enjoy! The rankings: 

1. Tetsuya Naito (11 avg in 8 appearances, 12 last year; 2013 and 2017 winner, 2011 runner up)- Any of the top 3 would be an excellent first pick off the draft board and should all finish at around the same final number, but I'm going with Naito at the top. Naito is looking to become the 5th wrestler to win 3 or more G1s (or its predecessors), a group Tanahashi joined last year. Naito's stated goal is to be the first man ever to simultaneously hold the heavyweight and Intercontinental titles. I think the story of him winning the tournament and finally taking down Okada and all his demons in the Tokyo Dome (I'd say "slay the dragon" but Ospreay's got the market cornered on that term right now) is extremely plausible, and could well be where New Japan is going. He's as safe a pick as you can make. Projected points range: 12-14 

2. Kota Ibushi (9.5 avg in 4 appearances, 12 last year; 2018 runner up)- Another popular pick to win the whole thing after making the final last year, and committing to a lifetime contract with New Japan earlier in the year after years of freelancing and wandering the world. He was my pick for the tournament's MVP last year and every one of his matches should once again be must see affairs. I'd call Ibushi the favorite in the A Block (more on that below), and the tournament ending with one more Ibushi/Naito head dropping neck destroying showdown in the final is far from out of the question. Projected points range: 12-14

3. Kazuchika Okada (12.29 avg in 7 appearances, 13 last year; 2012 and 2014 winner)- Okada is a walking G1 points machine. After spending last year's tournament as Broken Okada following his title loss to Kenny Omega, he is 100% the Rainmaker and back on top again. So why third? Simple. The defending heavyweight champion never makes the final. The fact that Okada only has two finals appearances is largely due to the fact he's been the champion in most of his tournaments. The last reigning heavyweight champion to make the final was Yuji Nagata in 2007, and the last one to win the tournament was Kensuke Sasaki in 2000. Now, I think at some point it has to happen again just to show that it can happen, but I wouldn't bet on it this year. Okada will get his points, but something will happen to keep him out of the final. Projected points range: 12-14 

4. Jay White (12 last year in first appearance)- Here's the first dropoff of significance. White could very well have a run to take the block and maybe even the whole tournament, but his floor is also slightly lower than the top three guys depending on how the whole thing gets booked. White scored 12 in his G1 debut last year, picking up big wins over Tanahashi and Broken Okada along the way. He also got his first taste of the heavyweight title earlier this year. Will there be more DQs from Bullet Club along the lines of last year? White's a top pick, but one with just a smidge more risk. Projected points range: 10-14

5. Zack Sabre Jr (11 avg in 2 appearances, 12 last year)- ZSJ has a stellar tournament history in a short time in New Japan, from dominant New Japan cup runs to the quietest 12 points you'll ever see in the G1 last year. He's my dark horse A Block pick, especially if he would be against Naito in the final as they already have extensive tournament history to play off of. With Suzuki out of the tournament he's also the Suzuki-Gun standard bearer in this year's tournament. Like White, he could get you as many points as the top guys, but there is also a little more risk involved as a stellar run is not quite as much a sure thing as the top 3. Projected points range: 10-14

6. Hiroshi Tanahashi (12.38 avg in 8 appearances, 20 man tournament record 15 last year; 2007, 2015 and 2018 winner, 2004, 2010, and 2013 runner up)- Last year I predicted the G1 downturn of Tanahashi and he responded with a record performance and a tournament win, making the comeback of the Ace one of the biggest stories of the second half of 2018. He topped it off by winning his record 8th heavyweight title at Wrestle Kingdom (a match scuttlebutt says he wouldn't have won if it wasn't for Kenny Omega leaving for AEW). However since then the injuries, real and storyline, have started to pile up again. Time is a predator that stalks us all (thank you Dr. Soran). I'm sticking to my guns on Tanahashi having a downturn here. He'll still get decent points and one last absolutely last time final great run is not out of the question, but I expect him to be just outside the contenders at the end and more toward the floor than ceiling side of my projections. Projected points range: 10-14

7. Jon Moxley (first appearance)- My highest ranked newcomer, who won the IWGP US title in his first New Japan match, the former Dean Ambrose is poised for a huge debut tournament. New Japan is treating him like a star. Originally I said Moxley was my B Block dark horse, but that's been tempered somewhat by the news that his AEW contract won't let him work any NJPW shows outside of Japan. His floor is still high, making him a safe middish pick, but I bumped his ceiling down a tad following that news. Projected points range: 10-12

8. KENTA (first appearance)- Another newcomer rightly getting star treatment in his New Japan debut. KENTA was the ace of NOAH for years before taking the plunge with WWE. Sadly that didn't work out, and now he's back in his homeland looking to resurrect his career. Again, like Moxley New Japan is giving him the star treatment, but I would temper tournament expectations. If KENTA is going to be with New Japan for a while he could end up with a really good run, but there's a bit more risk/reward involved here as he could just as easily get one or two big signature wins but end up with a so-so points total. Projected points range: 8-12

9. EVIL (10 avg in 3 appearances, 10 last year)- EVIL has had solid G1 runs to this point, cracking double digits in two out of three tries and topping out at 12 in 2017. I would expect either he or SANADA to have a bit of a breakout tournament, but it's anyone's guess which it'll be. Traditionally EVIL has gotten the wins while SANADA has gotten the buzz. Their showdown on night 5 will go a long way to seeing who it ends up being. Regardless of that, his floor is high enough to make him a safe middle pick. Projected points range- 8-12

9. SANADA (8 avg in 3 appearances, 8 last year)- While EVIL has racked up points, SANADA has been Mr. Consistency, with exactly 8 points in all three of his tournaments. Again, one of LIJ's guys should have a break out, but flip a coin as to which one. SANADA has gotten lots of time in the spotlight lately with several matches against Okada, including two heavyweight title shots, and NJPW brass is clearly high on him. He's got all the tools, but will he finally put it all together? Like EVIL, he's a safe middle pick with a solid floor and a chance for more. Projected points range: 8-12

11. Tomohiro Ishii (8.67 avg in 6 appearances, 10 last year)- Finally getting the NEVER Openweight title back for a record fifth time, a belt Ishii was synonymous with the first few years it existed but he hasn't had since losing it at Wrestle Kingdom 10, solidifies an already solid floor. In every G1 other than his first Ishii has come in with either 8 or 10 points, and I don't expect much deviation this year. In terms of knowing what you're going to get, he's one of the safest picks there is. Projected points range: 8-10

12. Will Ospreay (first appearance)- Ospreay is an interesting case. On one hand, the record for junior heavyweights in the G1 is spotty. Prince Devitt/Finn Balor scored 8 and 10 in his two appearances, by far the best for any juniors. On the other hand, Ospreay is clearly loved by NJPW brass, has recently moved to Japan signalling his commitment, has proven himself against heavyweights already in the New Japan Cup and with the NEVER title, and, in my mind, is the frontrunner for wrestler of the year in 2019 so far. In Ospreay they might see the guy that can take Kenny Omega's spot as a gaijin leader for the company. If you wanted to take him in the top half there's worse speculative high risk/high reward picks you could make, and where he ends up is anyone's guess, as reflected in my point range for him. But one thing is for sure, every one of his matches will be worth watching. Projected points range: 6-12

13. Shingo Takagi  (first appearance)- The tournament's unprecedented second junior, Shingo is in a similar situation to Ospreay. What works most to his advantage is that he doesn't seem destined to be a junior very long (I was always surprised he was one in the first place. I think it's mostly because he took Takahashi's spot.) His showdown with Naito will also be fascinating from a long term story standpoint. Will he stay with LIJ or attempt to break out on his own? Despite that, I'm putting his ceiling a skosh lower than Ospreay's as I'm not sure this year will be so much a breakout for him as a transition. But he's also a risk/reward pick worth rolling the dice on. Projected points range: 6-10

14. Bad Luck Fale (10 avg in 5 appearances, 6 last year)- Before last year's BCOG Fuck 'Em DQ disaster Fale was a consistent double digit performer. Given the depth of this field he's going to have a hard time getting back up there, not to mention if he and his BC cohorts will behave themselves any better this year. Going into last year he was a solid first half, high floor pick. This year I would approach with caution. Projected points range: 6-10

15. Juice Robinson (7 avg in 2 appearances, 6 last year)- The fans love Juice. Japan loves Juice. Korakuen certainly loves Juice. His tournament record however, both in the G1 and New Japan Cup, leaves a lot to be desired. One of the big stories of last year's tournament was Juice not being able to buy a win despite the fact he was the US champ, partially due to his injured left hand. This year he's healthy, and carrying a big chip on his shoulder after dropping the US title to Moxley, even cutting his dreads off to show a new attitude. A smallish run is not out of the question, but he could just as easily crash and burn again. Projected points range: 4-10

16. Toru Yano (8 avg in 8 appearances, 6 last year)- Last year broke a streak of 5 straight years of at least 8 points for Yano, even cracking 10 in 2016. His attempts to play by the rules last year ("fair play" Yano) was a disaster from a win/loss standpoint, and I would expect classic Yano from the out this year. His job in the tournament is completely defined- get a few upset wins, but more importantly bring some fun and a change of pace from the serious wrestling in this long tournament. Anyone that hasn't seen his comedy masterpiece with Kenny Omega from the 2017 G1 needs to check that out. If you're looking for a stable last pick to fill out your roster, this is him. Projected points range: 6-8

17. Lance Archer (8 avg in 4 appearances, first tournament since 2013)- A surprise entrant to be sure. With longtime Killer Elite Squad teammate Davey Boy Smith, Jr leaving New Japan, Archer is now primarily a singles rather than tag wrestler for the first time in quite a while. I suspect his place in this tournament was as a thank you for the promotional work he's done in his home state of Texas for the Dallas show. Where he goes depends on what kind of plans New Japan has for him for the long term. A small run is possible, but far from a guarantee. Projected points range: 4-10

18. Taichi (first appearance)- New Japan's love affair with Taichi has been baffling me for almost two years now. Since moving up to heavyweight in the spring of '18 he's a two time NEVER champion and had an Intercontinental title shot against Naito. All despite still wearing the junior trunks. Still, I'd rather see him in this spot than YOSHI-HASHI. Many people expected him to be in the G1 last year, but he finally makes his debut here. Sneaking up to double digits isn't out of realm of possibility given how he's been booked, but a standard debut total is much more likely. Projected points range: 4-10

19. Jeff Cobb (first appearance)- Cobb has been wrestling since 2009, but made no large waves at all before joining the cast of Lucha Underground in 2015. Since then his career has been on a definite upward trajectory, winning the Ring of Honor TV title, BOLA, the PWG World title (a company that knows how to pick its champions), and getting a cup of coffee with the hot potato NEVER title earlier this year. For his first G1 I would expect a very similar run to what Hangman Page got last year: lots of close losses, gaining crowd support and respect, and a big upset win or two. Projected points range: 4-8 

20. Hirooki Goto (9.5 avg in 8 appearances, 6 last year; 2008 winner, 2016 runner up)- With guys like Togi Makabe and Satoshi Kojima not making the cut this year, Goto seems likely to take over the "veteran who's there to eat losses" role. His career G1 roller coaster bottomed out last year despite the fact he was the NEVER champion at the time, and given where he's positioned and the depth of the field it might get even worse this year. If you get saddled with him on your fantasy roster, I'm sorry. At least his music is still awesome. Projected points range: 4-6

Starrcade '85

Legacy Review

Starrcade '85: The Gathering

November 28, 1985 from the Greensboro Coliseum in Greensboro, NC and The Omni in Atlanta, GA

 

Commentary: Bob Caudle and Tony Schiavone

 

Heading into the third year of Starrcade, the national expansion of Jim Crockett Promotions has well and truly begun. If you'll indulge me for a bit, to properly put this show and period in context we have to talk first about an event known as Black Saturday. In the summer of '84, three of the four owners of Georgia Championship Wrestling, the Brisco brothers and Jim Barnett, sold their stake in the company to Vince McMahon and WWF. Vince's purchase was all about one thing, getting the promotion's timeslot on WTBS as part of WWF's early attempts at national expansion. Viewers were shocked on July 14 when WWF programming came on the air instead of GCW, and WWF's product went over in the deep south, as they'd say down there, like a fart in church. WTBS also accused WWF of not fulfilling their agreed obligations, as they were airing matches taped from northeast arenas rather than ones from a dedicated studio for the WTBS show. Seeing the plan wasn't working, in early '85 Vince decided to sell his stake in Georgia and the timeslot. In swooped JCP, eager to start their own expansion. They had already bought the attempt at an alternate Georgia territory put together by the fourth GCW owner that didn't sell, Ole Anderson (who in true Ole fashion swore eternal vengeance on the Briscos and Barnett for selling out), and now they made a deal with WWF, facilitated by Barnett, to pick up the rest of the pieces. Little did they know they'd end up being the two main companies left standing when all the nationalization dust had settled in a few years. Incidentally, the name of the show that aired on WTBS that would now carry the JCP product? World Championship Wrestling. Strange how these things work out. It would quickly become JCP's primary weekly show.

 

Because they now owned the Georgia territory, JCP decided to try something with this Starrcade that had never been done before- air live from two different arenas simultaneously. One half from JCP's traditional home arena of the Greensboro Coliseum, home of the first two Starrcades, and the other half from GCW's top venue, the Omni in Atlanta. And to make the technical side even more complicated, instead of holding the first half in one arena and the second half in another, they would switch back and forth between roughly each match. Caudle and Tony are based in Atlanta but also commentate the Greensboro matches remotely. Former wrestler turned commentator Johnny Weaver is stationed backstage in Greensboro for interviews, and all I can say is if you think Lord Alfred Hayes always sounded lost, Weaver almost makes him look composed. For the first time we actually have the National Anthem at the start of the show instead of some weird point later.

 

Vacant NWA Mid-Atlantic Heavyweight Championship: Krusher Kruschev def Sam Houston in 9:30 (Greensboro)- The traditional top title within JCP's Mid-Atlantic territory had laid vacant since July, when Buzz Tyler was stripped after he left the company. Kruschev is Barry Darsow, future Demolition Smash among other gimmicks, and was the third member of the Soviet stable alongside the Koloffs. Houston is best known from his run in WWF later in the decade, even if he was barely more than a jobber there. Houston is announced at 215 lbs. Yeah, he weighs 215 about as much as King Kong Bundy is 400+. Dude might be 150 with his boots on if he had a big lunch that day. Longtime NWA ref Sonny Fargo is working the early Greensboro matches in an eye popping full bright mustard suit. I've seen NFL color rush uniforms less of an eyesore than this. Lockup and Kruschev TOSSES puny capitalist pig dog right across the ring. Another lockup that Houston stays with better, then he momentum tosses Kruschev to the floor! Kruschev hops right back in and we get a short slugfest before things calm down again. Kruschev again easily powers Houston up and down but Houston dodges an elbow drop. Backdrop attempt that Houston flips out of and they trade some punches again. Speed run and Houston does a fancy block and flip out of a hiptoss into a flying headscissors. He holds the headscissors on the mat. Kruschev easily lifts Houston up and deposits him in the corner. More dodge mode from Houston as he gets a dropkick and armdrag into an ARMBAR. HUGE backdrop from Kruschev as he drops Houston right on his face. Gorilla press that again drops Houston on his face. Houston tries to slide under but Kruschev was ready for him and pops him right back down. Bear hug. In Soviet Russia bear wrestle you. Setup slam and Kruschev goes up top. Houston dropkicks Kruschev down into the ropes! Mounted punches from Houston. Bulldog! Kruschev gets a foot on the rope to just break up the pin. Houston is oblivious and thinks he's won. More fool him, giving us Texans a bad name. Kruschev murders him with a Russian Sickle and gets the pin to win the vacant title. Pretty solid power vs speed stuff. With Mid-Atlantic and GCW merging into a single territory this was now a completely redundant title, and would be quietly euthanized toward the end of '86. **1/4

 

Mexican Death Match: "Ragin' Bull" Manny Fernandez def Abdullah the Butcher (w/Paul Jones) in 9:07 (Atlanta)- Abby's coming in with a giant red welt on his forehead. Hope that thing's been tested. Looks sore as hell, I have to admit that. Like he scraped the top of his head against concrete. So what exactly is a Mexican variation of a death match? There's no pins, no submissions, no stopping for "any reason". The only way to win is to get Fernandez's sombrero down. So, it's a sombrero on a pole match with a fancy name. Abby, as usual, attacks before the bell. The spike is already out and Fernandez takes a shot with it, busting him open early. Abby takes the timekeeper's hammer for the bell and rings Fernandez's bell with it! Points for creativity. Fernandez is already gushing blood. Going to be a trend for the whole night. Fernandez fires back with kicks and somehow manages to monkey flip Abby! He gets on the second rope, takes his boot off, and nails Abby with it right on his open welt. More boot shots. Now Abby is, not surprisingly, bleeding. Abby fires back, gets the boot, and hits Fernandez with it. Jones directs Abby to go for the sombrero. Fernandez hits him from behind and Abby does a RIDICULOUS delayed flop down from the ropes. Fantastic. More boot shots from Fernandez. I think it's the other boot now, he's completely down to his sock feet. He climbs and Abby hits him in the back with the boot to cut him off. Abby climbs again. Now Fernandez has his belt off and hits Abby with it! Both boots, his belt. I'm scared to think how declothed Fernandez will get if this match goes much longer. More belt shots just piss Abby off. He spits blood out like it's mist. Fernandez, get the hell out of the way of that. We know how bad that blood is now. Fernandez dodges an elbow drop. Running clothesline with the belt! Plus buckle. FERNANDEZ SUPLEXES ABBY! Insane. Fernandez climbs. Abby gets his spike out and drives it right into Fernandez's ghoulies! Freaking ouch. Fernandez comes back off the ropes with a flying forearm. Clothesline off the second rope that puts Abby down! Fernandez climbs up to the top rope. Reminder, still in his sock feet. Abby dodges a big splash. Fernandez dodges in the corner and Abby crashes and burns. Fernandez climbs over Abby and gets the sombrero to win! Shockingly good stuff. That has to be the best Abby match I've ever seen. Fernandez carried him like a champ. There's a reason he was one of JCP's top midcarders for years. It's a shame he left right as WCW was formed and didn't really get a chance to show it nationally. Also, bonus points for Fernandez wrestling over half the match in his sock feet. ***

 

Weaver is in the back with Kruschev. I continue to be disturbed by Kruschev's complete lack of any kind of Russian accent. I guess he's just integrated himself that well. Something the Party would likely be concerned about. 

 

Texas Bullrope Match: "Cowboy" Ron Bass def Black Bart (w/JJ Dillon) in 8:34 (Greensboro)- These two were teammates as the Long Riders but had recently broken up with Bass turning back face. In fact they were the last team to hold the Mid-Atlantic tag titles, which are kind of in limbo right now. They aren't even mentioned in this match. More on them later. If Bass wins he gets 5 minutes with Dillon, which will also be a bullrope match. Dillon's tux t-shirt with jeans is fantastic. So this is like a strap match, except the strap is a rope with a cowbell in the middle that can be used as a weapon. It's also pinfall to win, not touch the corners. The cowbell is the center of the whole match, as pretty much the entire thing is both guys trading shots with it. It's all Bass early and Bart gets busted open. A gut shot puts Bass down and Bart busts him open with the bell. It's little more than an ugly back and forth brawl after that. At one point Bass ducks a charge and Bart flies over the top rope to the floor. Midring collision and both guys are down. Bass gives Bart a crotch shot with the rope. Bass goes up to the second rope, gets one last super shot with the bell, and it's over. OK for what it was, two guys hitting each other in the head with a bell for eight and a half minutes. *3/4

 

Texas Bullrope Match: JJ Dillon (w/Black Bart) def "Cowboy" Ron Bass in 3:29 (Greensboro)- As soon as the last match is over Dillon is in the ring tux shirt off and stomping on Bass. Fargo puts the rope around Dillon's wrist. Bell shots and cover from Dillon for 2. More bell shots and he chokes Bass. Bass hulks up and Dillon tries to run. The rope won't allow that so he begs instead. No dice. Bass works him over with the bell and Dillon's bleeding. Bass knocks Fargo down in his zeal to continue beating on Dillon. Bart comes in, hits Bass from behind, and gives him a piledriver. Dillon covers, Fargo recovers, and Dillon gets the upset pin to keep his heat. Nothing to see here. NR

 

Barely gotten started and already the ring mats in both arenas are covered in blood. Welcome to mid '80s JCP.

 

Back to the Omni, where a table and two chairs have been set up in the ring. Before having their regular match, the Barbarian and Superstar Billy Graham will have an arm wrestling contest with $10K on the line. It's arm wrestling, nothing special. Graham comes from behind to win, and the second he does Jones nails him with his cane to start the match proper. 

 

Superstar Billy Graham def The Barbarian (w/Paul Jones) by DQ in 3:02 (Atlanta)- Hey guess what, the cane shot busted Graham open. Barbarian bites at the cut. Throat thrust from Barbarian and more biting. Big boot. Graham dodges a legdrop and fires back punches. A running thrust from Barbarian puts him down again. Barbarian goes up top. Grasham dodges the headbutt. Bear hug! After a minute in that Jones runs in with another cane shot for the cheap DQ. Barbarian continues beating on Graham on the floor after the bell. 1/4*

 

NWA National Heavyweight Championship: "Nature Boy" Buddy Landell (w/JJ Dillon) def Terry Taylor (c) in 10:30 (Greensboro)- The National singles and tag titles, not to be confused with the NWA US title, were the top titles in the Georgia territory. Taylor, one of my consistent favorites of the era, is National champ and making his Starrcade debut despite the fact he was primarily working in Mid-South at the time. Dillon is not out with Landell at first to sell the damage from earlier. Landell, whose whole shtick is he's a heel Ric Flair ripoff (which will quickly become pointless as Flair leans more into his burgeoning home territory heel turn), gives Taylor some Slick Ric off the opening lockup. Landell tries to antagonize Taylor on the initial lockup breaks. It works, as Taylor slaps Landell and Landell quickly bails into the corner to hide. Landell goes into some arm work that Taylor armdrags out of. Landell gets a headlock takedown and works that for a bit. Taylor wins a top wristlock fight to get out with Landell complaining about a non-existent hair pull all the way down. Landell gets Taylor in the corner and lays in shots on hip. Taylor boot up on the other side and big flop sell from Landell. Backdrop from Taylor. Kneedrop. While exchanging arm wringers Landell plants Taylor with a hard right hand. Snap mare into a chinlock from Landell. Dillon is back out ringside, head bandaged and with a full proper tux on now. Taylor back suplexes out of the chinlock. Backbreaker from Taylor. Legdrop for 2. He lays into Landell in the corner with chops. Landell reverses a whip and hits a clothesline for 2. Taylor counters a suplex into a small package for 2. Landell literally sits on him with a double chinlock. Taylor literally lifts Landell's feet up to walk step by step toward the ropes, then pushes him into the corner. Another snap mare and Taylor literally stands on the side of Landell's face while looking at Dillon, then hits a suplex for 2. Buckle shots for Landell. Fargo tries to get Taylor out of the corner, giving Landell an opening to hit a punch that puts both Taylor and Fargo down. Dillon gets on the apron with his shoe, Dillon's deadly weapon of choice. Landell pushes Taylor into Fargo to make sure he's down. Taylor reverses and sends Landell into Dillon. Taylor hits a not quite fivearm yet and sets Landell up for his current finisher, a superplex. As he hits it Dillon hits the back of Taylor's leg with the shoe to trip him! Landell falls on top of Taylor to get the pin to win the title! Great finish. Rock solid match. Like the Mid-Atlantic titles these Georgia titles were now completely redundant. This one would be merged with the US title in the fall of '86. **3/4

 

NWA National Tag Team Championship: The Minnesota Wrecking Crew (c) def NWA United States Tag Team Champions (Florida version) Billy Jack Haynes & Wahoo McDaniel in 9:28 (Atlanta)- Wahoo and Hayes hold the Florida version of the NWA US tag titles, but that lineage isn't part of the future NWA/WCW US tag title lineage that JCP would start in '86. Sorting through all these different territory titles is nearly a full time job. This match marks the Starrcade debut of the man, the myth, the legend Arn Anderson. So young he still has some tufts of hair on the top of his head. He and his (kayfabe) uncle Ole Anderson are actually the second version of the MN Wrecking Crew. The original combination of Ole and Lars Anderson (also kayfabe only brothers) were the dominant team in the NWA in the '70s. Arn and Haynes start. Much larger Haynes easily shoves Arn out of the initial lockups. Shoulderblock from Haynes. Off the ropes again Arn actually does a leapfrog, celebrates that a bit, then turns right around into a press slam. Fantastic. Arn quickly backs up and tags out. Much larger Ole can match power better with Haynes. They get into a full on slugfest that Haynes wins. Wahoo tags in and hits a chop. Snap mare/elbow drop combo. Ole tags Arn back in to see how he'll do with Wahoo. Arn tries a cheap shot against the ropes but veteran Wahoo is ready for him. Wahoo works a headlock on Arn. Arn counters it into a headscissors. The champs get Wahoo in their corner and give him some shots. Ole goes into his classic arm ripping off armbars. Wahoo hits some big chops to get free, but Ole falls into his corner and tags out. Now Arn works on the arm. Slam/elbow drop combo from Ole for 2. Everything breaks down into a full on DONNYBROOK. The ref, of course, gets Haynes out allowing the Andersons to double team more. Huge chops from Wahoo wobbleleg Arn while he's holding an arm wringer. Finally he goes down, but again into his corner to tag out. Wahoo is finally able to roll free and outmaneuver the Andersons to make a tag! Hot tag run from Haynes. Double noggin knocker. Great delayed flop from Arn. The Andersons are able to double team Haynes down again, but he tags out to Wahoo. He hits the big chop on Arn but Ole saves the pin. Ole trips Wahoo from the floor and Arn covers for 2. Arn gets Wahoo in his corner. Ole again trips him, and this time holds his foot down as Arn gets the pin to retain! Typical Anderson tag team psychology masterclass, even if they didn't have much to work with on this particular night. ***1/4

 

Going back to the "proper" US tag titles. In the fall of '86 JCP would merge the Mid-Atlantic and National tag titles to create the JCP version of the NWA US tag championship, the version that would continue into the early years of WCW. I've always had a soft spot for the US tag titles, no matter how redundant or an afterthought they often were.

 

I Quit Steel Cage Match for the NWA United States Heavyweight Championship: Magnum TA def Tully Blanchard (c) (w/Baby Doll) in 14:43 (Greensboro)- Two guys that the NWA wanted to strap rocket ships to, but things moved much slower in the '80s. JCP brought Magnum into the company in late '84 and instantly pegged him for huge things. They saw him as the future #1 babyface. He took the US title from then heel Wahoo McDaniel in early '85. Blanchard had a long run with the TV title last year to start setting him up, then he defeated Magnum for this title in July and they've been feuding ever since. This match is set up to be THE end of it, an I Quit match inside a steel cage. There is a mic in the ring to record the loser's "I quit". Earl Hebner checks in to ref the final Greensboro matches. Magnum gets the first shot in off the initial lockup. Blanchard ducks down for a leg takedown. Magnum tries to fight him off but they end up fighting for leverage on the mat. After an eye poke Blanchard starts laying some uppercuts in. He tries some gut shots but Magnum fires back and wobbles Blanchard, who falls back into the cage. Already doing a great job of making this look like a fight born of pure hatred, not a wrestling match. Blanchard blocks a cage shot, then does something to get Magnum down again but the camera was on the supposed "Perfect 10" Baby Doll. Blanchard walks up the ropes and comes down with an elbow. Magnum takes the first cage shot. You can see him scrape his forehead as he rolls on the mat and yup, he's bleeding. Just a little, for now. Magnum pure powers out of a double chinlock, but Blanchard puts him back down with a knee to the gut. Whip reversal and Magnum drops Blanchard on the top rope. More comeback shots from Magnum are cut off again by Blanchard tights pulling him into the cage. Blanchard gets the mic and I think scrapes Magnum over the head with it. Hebner takes it away then blows into it to see if it's still working. Yup. Blanchard takes his first cage shot. Magnum actually puts on a wrestling hold in this match, a hammerlock, then runs Blanchard into the cage again. Blanchard's cut on his arm and Magnum scrapes away on it. I think he's cut on the forehead too. Magnum gets the mic and sticks it in Blanchard's face. Blanchard shouts "NO!" and gives him a headbutt to the gut. Magnum gets back on Blanchard's arm and that thing is BLEEDING. Another eye rake gives Blanchard some space and he shouts "Ah shit!" that's bleeped out on the official WWE copy. More back and forth shots as both guys are clearly wearing down already. Blanchard gets the mic, gets a "No!" from Magnum, then pummels Magnum in the head with the mic! "SAY IT!" AHHHNOOOOOOO!". Blanchard pounds Magnum on the mat while his own arm is now almost completely covered in blood. Blanchard tries a cover but no pins here. He lifts Magnum up into the cage again. Blanchard goes up top and drops an ax handle. He gets the mic and again Magnum refuses. Another mic shot. Magnum dodges an elbow drop. Backhand shot from Magnum to Tully's throat. Magnum gets the mic and gets a "NOOOOOOOOOOOOO AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" from Blanchard. I think Magnum is grinding the mic into Blanchard's head. The whole thing devolves into a tights pulling eye gouging roll on the mat as both guys are about worn down but still completely determined to finish each other. Big open hand slap from Blanchard that leads to some on knees strikes. While Magnum has the mic in his face Blanchard kicks it away. Magnum hits mounted punches. Inverted atomic drop counter from Blanchard. He gets the mic and hits Magnum in the head with it again. That gets another "NOOOO!'. Elbow drops from Blanchard. He tosses Hebner away into the cage. Someone throws a wooden chair into the ring and Blanchard catches it! Was that Baby Doll? Damn, she's got way more of an arm on her than you'd think. Blanchard smashes the chair into bits in the ring. I don't like where this is going. He takes a small piece, bends it over his knee to make it a spike, and goes for Magnum's head! Magnum blocks it! They fight on the mat with Magnum slowly winning. Knees to the midsection put Blanchard down and he drops the spike. Magnum picks it up and DRIVES THE SPIKE RIGHT INTO BLANCHARD'S FOREHEAD! HE DIGS IT IN WITH BLANCHARD GUSHING BLOOD! BLANCHARD QUITS! Magnum picks up another piece of wood, threatens to do more damage, then thinks better of it, takes the belt and walks off. Mission accomplished. Amazing match. The pinnacle of '80s NWA brawl style matches with an iconic finish, and as perfect a final blowoff match as you'll ever see. This was called the Match of the Decade for a long time, and at the time it happened it was, but it will be surpassed before the decade is out. Not that's anything to be ashamed about, especially considering what surpasses it. *****

 

Unfortunately this would be Magnum's one and only Starrcade appearance as an active wrestler. He was scheduled to defeat Flair for the World title at Starrcade '86 and be, JCP hoped at least, their answer to Hulk Hogan (a long stretch in my mind but he could have hit it big in the south at least). Sadly, in October '86 Magnum had a car accident, wrapping his car around a light pole and suffering injuries that ended his wrestling career. Though it could have been much worse. 

 

Atlanta Street Fight: Jimmy Valiant & Miss Atlanta Lively (w/Big Mama) def The Midnight Express (w/Jim Cornette) in 6:36 (Atlanta)- Valiant is taking time out from his war with Paul Jones' Army to be involved in this...whatever it is. Miss Atlanta Lively is Ron Garvin in drag. I have no idea why. Maybe he's a lumberjack and he's OK. I can't even blame Russo for this one. The Midnights, in their classic Bobby Eaton and Dennis Condrey incarnation, and Cornette are all making their Starrcade debut tonight after already becoming near legends in other southern promotions. Since it's a "come as you are" street fight all the Midnights are wearing tuxes. Phenomenal. The Midnights try to jump but the faces are ready for them. Garvin sprays Eaton in the face with a ton of powder that I assume was in his purse. I can't believe I'm typing that. Garvin chokes Eaton with his necklace. On the floor, Valiant gives Condrey a chairshot with a non-folding plastic chair. Eaton manages to put Garvin down but Valiant gets in and attacks him. Oh, and pretty much everyone is already bleeding. Of course. Bit overkill on that, this match doesn't need it. Valiant flips and slams Eaton out on the floor. He's got some knucks or a chain that he works Condrey over with. Sleeper from Valiant on Condrey. Apparently Big Mama and Cornette are getting into it too, thankfully off camera. The Midnights finally get control by throwing some powder in Valiant's face. Condrey whips Valiant with his belt. Then he decides to strip Garvin's drag off. That opens the door for the faces to take back control. They tear the Midnights' tuxes off. The Midnights get Garvin isolated in the ring and Cornette gives him a tennis racket shot. The wig didn't soften the blow apparently. Forearm off the top rope from Eaton. The Midnights keep tossing Valiant out to keep Garvin isolated. Double clothesline from the Midnights on Valiant. Eaton tries coming off the top but Garvin catches him with a Hand of Stone punch, covers and gets the pin. After the bell Cornette gets stripped just because. Right down to his hearts boxers. Total freak show mess of a match and a very inauspicious debut for the Midnights at Starrcade. DUD

 

Steel Cage Match for the NWA World Tag Team Championship: The Rock 'N' Roll Express (w/Don Kernodle) def The Russian Team (c) (w/Krusher Kruschev) in 12:22 (Greensboro)- Like their forever rivals the Midnight Express, the RNR Express are making their Starrcade debut. They debuted in JCP in July and on their first night in the company defeated the Russian Team for the tag titles, becoming an instant sensation. Over the next couple of years they'll arguably be the top stars in the entire company, even more than the two guys in tonight's main event. The feud continued and the Koloffs got the titles back in October. Like the US title match, they're going inside the cage to finish it once and for all. The heels come out in all red light to the Soviet national anthem (non Nikolai Volkoff version). Nice touch. Kernodle is in his wrestling gear as the RNR's corner man, not street clothes. I guess he's ready. Nikita starts with Morton. I don't like poor Ricky's chances. As expected Nikita tosses Morton out of the first lockup easily. Morton tries a shoulderblock and that doesn't go well for him. He manages to dodge around Nikita and hit a shotgun dropkick, which only seems to piss Nikita off even more than he already was. Both Russians start working Morton over. Morton does a nice job of using his foot to stop from running into the cage, then hits a crossbody on Ivan for 2. Ivan lifts Morton up and drops him crotch first on the top rope. Cover for 2. Both guys block cage shots at the same time and Morton manages to get over to tag Gibson. Dropkick from Gibson. Slam/kneedrop combo for 2. The RNR press their advantage on Ivan with quick tags and try for a couple of flash pins. Gibson hits an elbow off the second rope for 2. He gets around Ivan and runs him into one of the cage bars! Full cage shot for Ivan. Morton hits a fistdrop off the top rope. A second for 2 as we see Ivan is now bleeding. Ivan goes to the desperation eye rake on Gibson and finally tags out. Gibson drop toe holds Nikita, but runs into a bear hug that Nikita uses to almost hot shot him into the cage. Another HARD cage shot for Gibson. Gibson joins tonight's list of bleeders. Ivan kills Gibson with shoulderblocks in the corner and gives him another cage shot. Elbow drop for 2. Nikita tags in, bites Gibson's cut, slams him and soaks in the hatred of the crowd. The Russians continue to work Morton to run in so they can double team Gibson. Snap mare/legdrop combo from Ivan for 2. Gibson dodges another legdrop, but still can't tag. The Russians stay in complete control. Bit of an inversion in this match as it's normally Morton taking these beatings, not Gibson. Another hard cage shot from Nikita. Gibson slides under Ivan and hits a dropkick. Somehow Hebner goes down in that exchange too. He got himself in position at the very last second. Gibson covers but there's no one to count. Morton comes in but Nikita kills him with a Russian Sickle, then hits Gibson with a Sickle and puts Ivan on top. Again Hebner is too out of it to count even though he's right there. Gibson reaches out and barely tags Morton behind Ivan's back. That one Hebner saw. Morton sneaks in, pushes Ivan into the cage and rolls him up, and gets the pin to win the titles back! Another great finish tonight. Very good match, though nowhere near peak RNR. They didn't get as much time as they usually do, and you're only going to carry the Koloffs so far. ***3/4

 

After the bell the Russians jump back all over Gibson. Nikita lifts Morton up and dumps him over the cage to the floor! The deck is clear for them to absolutely murder Gibson. Kruschev is also in so it's three on one, plus the chain that they absolutely use. The face locker room finally gets in to stop the carnage. The RNR Express win the titles, the Russians keep their heat. That's how you do it. 

 

Tonight's main event is a rematch of the very disappointing Starrcade '84 main event. Thankfully they learned from last year and this time around there's no million dollar purse or celebrity guest stars adding unnecessary layers to it all. Just Flair and Dusty, which is all you never need. To set this match up Flair saved Dusty from a beating by the Koloffs, only to turn on Dusty and attack him, which turned Flair heel in his home territory for the first time since he became World champion. In that attack Flair was aided by the Andersons in a foreshadowing of the future formation of the Four Horsemen, and they broke Dusty's ankle. The injury forced Dusty to relinquish the NWA TV title, which he had taken from Blanchard at the first ever Great American Bash. That title was still vacant, but would be won by Arn Anderson for the first of his many runs with it in January. During his recuperation time Dusty cut the legendary "hard times" promo, the most famous of his whole career.

 

NWA World Heavyweight Championship: "The American Dream" Dusty Rhodes def "Nature Boy" Ric Flair (c) in 22:06 (Atlanta)- No split crowd tonight, they are all for Dusty. Tommy Young rings the bell and we're off. Dusty does a bit of strutting to get in Flair's head. Both guys are very cautious at the start. Lockup into the corner and both guys start throwing shots immediately. Dusty's jabs win that battle and Flair goes down. An uppercut puts Flair down again and he goes out of the ring, over the barricade and all the way across the floor to have a think. It's crazy how far back the seats are from ringside in the Omni. It's like foul territory in Oakland Coliseum for the A's, it just goes on forever. Back in Flair hits some chops. Dusty fires back with elbows. Speed run and another elbow puts Flair down. He begs off and slides out again. Another staredown after Flair gets back in. He goes for a hammerlock but Dusty easily reverses it. That works Flair down to the mat. I don't know what's louder, Flair's usual selling to the cheap seats or the guy shouting at the top of his lungs "DUSTY RHOOOOOOOODES! WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP!" non freaking stop. They work toward the ropes and Flair takes his first shot at Dusty's previously injured ankle. Dusty quickly backs off after that. More Flair chops and he gets Dusty down in the corner. Snap mare/kneedrop combo. "WOOOOOOO!" Flair uses an arm wringer as cover to hit a kick to Dusty's bad ankle! Dusty shouts in pain and gets the hell out of the ring all the way to the floor to shake it off. Clearly it's still not 100%. Dusty's even wearing a slightly different boot over it. Coming back in Dusty drapes Flair over the top rope and hits elbows to the back of his neck. He stomps Flair's ankle on the apron! Hardest Part of the Ring TM. Back in Dusty stays on the leg. He takes forever to milk the moment before dropping another shot, and Flair gives him an eye rake when he lands. Flair tries a suplex but his leg gives out. That's a lot to lift up too. Dusty reverses and hits the suplex, then gets back on the leg. Again Flair grinds on Dusty's eyes to slowly break it. Flair gets a sleeper on! Dusty runs him into the corner to get free. And of course being Flair he went in full speed. Dusty posts Flair's leg! Flair barely manages to drag himself up and hits some more chops that barely faze Dusty. He hits is own chop, then snap mares Flair over but really weakly. I guess Flair was selling the leg? Flair dodges an elbow drop. He limps over to the corner and up to the the top rope. Dusty, of course, slams him back down. Dusty tries for a figure four but Flair gets another shot on Dusty's bad ankle to stop it. Flair leg scoop and he goes for a figure four. Dusty fights it off. Another go, same result. Flair stomps Dusty right in the forehead. Dusty fights out of the corner and hits a headbutt. Flair Flip! All the way out to the floor! Dusty follow and gives Flair a post shot! And a guardrail shot. Flair's finally bleeding, which honestly feels overdue the way the rest of the night's gone in that regard. Dusty hits shots to the cut as Flair comes back in. Flair gets a kick and throws Dusty over the top rope, but he lands on his feet. Dusty goes up to the top rope and comes down with about the ugliest crossbody you've ever seen! Less a crossbody and more a belly flop. Damn, get a spatula and scrape Flair off the mat after that one. But after taking a shot in the earlier exchange Young's slow to get over to count and Flair kicks out! Full ground and pound from Dusty on the mat. Elbows to the cut. Mounted punches from Dusty. Flair Flop! One of the best ever. Dusty starts going nuts with jabs, really feeling it. Flair begs off into the corner. Another Flair Flip! This time he lands on the apron, runs over, hops up top and gets off, but Dusty catches him with a shot in the gut. Dusty goes for a big punt kick, but Flair dodges and Dusty kicks the turnbuckle with his bad foot! Flair's still selling his own hurt leg by the way, limping around. But get your jackets and hustle to the bus stop kids, it's time to go to school. Flair is all over the bad ankle now. Kneedrop right onto it. Figure four! Flair gets a couple of near falls. Dusty throws up a middle finger! What is this, the Attitude Era? He gets just enough push to reverse the hold. Flair takes a rope break. He fires off more chops but Dusty starts to hulk up. Elbows to Flair! Dusty hits a clothesline for 2. Flair's kickout sent Dusty right on top of Young and he's wobbled. Dusty pulls Flair by the tights, who goes right into Young and knocks him out to the floor! You can 100% argue Dusty did that on purpose to get the ref down. Flair fights off Dusty's figure four attempt. Another elbow and Dusty gets it on! With no ref though. Arn Anderson runs in to try to save Flair! Dusty fights him off. Ole Anderson then runs in and hits Dusty from behind. Flair covers and Young is back in. Dusty kicks out! Dusty wraps Flair up in a Paul Smackage and gets the pin! Huge pop and the face locker room immediately empties to run in and celebrate with Dusty. I know I rate this match higher than most people. I don't care. Yes, Flair didn't have the effortless chemistry in the ring with Dusty like he did so many other guys, but they still both make it work well enough and peak years Flair means the floor is very high. ****1/4

 

We cut to the back where Tony is waiting for Dusty. The champagne flowing celebration is on. BUT WAIT! The mother of all Dusty Finishes was looming (yes, Dusty was booking the territory now). The next week on TV, JCP officials would say that, as it sure looked, Dusty pulled Flair into Young on purpose. They reversed the decision, erased the title change from the record books, and handed the belt back to Flair. Dusty's real third World title reign would have to wait a bit longer.

 

OVERALL SHOW THOUGHTS- This is easily the best Starrcade of the JCP years, and probably the best there ever was. They needed it too, as some kind of answer to WWF's rapid growth after the success of the first Wrestlemania. In some ways it's the peak of JCP's red hot mid '80s run, though there was plenty of good still to come. Yes, the blood was absolutely overdone and could have been toned down a lot to only where it was needed most, but that was the style in the south at the time. From a technical standpoint holding the show in two arenas simultaneously worked just fine with no hiccups or faults. There were long stretches with no commentary on the Greensboro side since they were doing it remotely, but even that doesn't really detract. Sometimes less is more, something a lot of future commentary teams could be better off learning.

OVERALL SHOW GRADE: A

 

v2.0 published 5/12/26 

WrestleMania IV

Legacy Review

WrestleMania IV

March 27, 1988 from the Trump Plaza and Casino (AKA The Historic Atlantic City Convention Hall) in Atlantic City, NJ

Commentary: Gorilla Monsoon and Jesse Ventura

The WWF Championship match between Hulk Hogan and Andre the Giant at Wrestlemania III propelled WWF into the stratosphere, so it was only natural that the feud would continue. Hogan and Andre renewed acquaintances by captaining opposing teams at the first ever Survivor Series, then had their contract signing for a title rematch at the first ever Royal Rumble (which was just a regular TV special, not a PPV). The match took place on the first ever (did I mention the WWF boom period?) episode of The Main Event, which was just like Saturday Night's Main Event except it was on Friday night, and this initial one was broadcast live. In the background of all this was WWF newcomer "The Million Dollar Man" Ted DiBiase, who had initially attempted to buy the title from Hogan and had now allied himself with Andre. Incidentally, that match would also be the debut of the greatest wrestling title belt of all time, the Winged Eagle. The match ended in controversy, as referee Earl Hebner counted Hogan down even though his shoulder was clearly up. We soon discovered that it wasn't Earl Hebner at all, but his evil twin brother Dave, who had been bought off by DiBiase. The match result stood as called, making Andre an official champion. But Andre was more interested in finally beating Hogan than being champion, so he immediately gave the title away to DiBiase, who presumably paid him handsomely for it. Later on weekly TV, President Jack Tunney interjected, saying "You can't just give a title away to someone else! What do you think this is, 1999 WCW?". Tunney declared the title officially vacant and said there would be a one night, single elimination tournament at Wrestlemania IV to determine the undisputed champion. In deference to their status as former champions, Hogan and Andre would be automatically advanced to the second round. But, they would then have to face each other again one last time. Wonder if DiBiase got his money back?

Side fact, due to the shenanigans Andre holds by far the record for the shortest WWF/E Title reign in history, at least up until the Money in the Bank era, at right around 5 minutes.

Trump Plaza is one of the more visually interesting venues to host a show. The ceiling is pretty cool looking. The downside, however, is that ugly ass yellow carpet that's all over the floor. When I was a kid whenever I thought about this show all I could picture was the ugly yellow carpet.

20 Man Invitational Battle Royale- This is your typical "get everyone not booked on the rest of the card a payday" battle royale, filled with tag teams and midcarders going mostly nowhere. Bob Uecker is also on commentary for this one. Two referees carry the trophy that'll be awarded to the winner ahead of the wrestler entrances. That's a nice trophy. Be a shame if something happened to it. Everyone gets introduced by Fink in the ring. George "The Animal" Steele stays outside and refuses to get in after the match starts. Typical battle royale brawling here. Sam Houston and Sika get eliminated quickly. Uecker: "This is like cutdown day at the end of spring training!". Hah! Steele keeps messing with Neidhart. He finally reaches up and grabs Anvil's beard and pulls him out by it. The Rougeaus and Killer Bees eliminate 3 of their 4 team members in one go. Steele kind of wanders off and is quickly forgotten about, never having gotten into the ring. The final four are JYD, Paul Roma (part of the Young Stallions tag team at the time), Bret Hart and WWF newcomer Bad News Brown. Brown dumps Roma in short order. JYD initially fights the heels off, but they soon take control and team up to dump him out. Bret and Brown celebrate while commentary wonders if they'll just split the purse. Brown, however, isn't interested in sharing with anyone and nails Bret from behind with the Ghetto Blaster. Bret takes a Bret Bump and Brown tosses him out to win. Once Bret recovers he jumps Brown back from behind and in grand wrestling tradition destroys the trophy to a huge ovation. This was the first of many attempts to transition Bret into singles wrestling. Though it would be a few more years before it stuck, this was the start of the Hart Foundation's face turn. Brown would also be positioned as a top heel, getting house show loop title feuds with both Savage and Hogan the following couple of years. * 

First Round Match: "The Million Dollar Man" Ted DiBiase (w/Virgil and Andre the Giant) def "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan in 4:54- These guys had one of the biggest feuds in Mid-South history before coming to WWF and knew each other very well. Commentary is surprised Andre is out with DiBiase. DiBiase tries to brawl with Duggan but loses badly. The referee for this match is shouting *everything* at the top of his lungs. He's like an actor trying to reach the cheap seats. Why? Duggan hits a sunset flip, which stuns Ventura solid that he actually performed a wrestling move. DiBiase is selling like a champ on everything. Duggan goes for the football tackle but Andre grabs his ankle and pulls him down. While Duggan is jawjacking with him DiBiase hits him from behind and gets the pin. Not bad for the time they got. They kept the pace up nicely. *3/4 

First Round Match: "The Rock" Don Muraco (w/Superstar Billy Graham) def Dino Bravo (w/Frenchy Martin) by DQ in 4:53- My hopes are not high here. Power game to start. Muraco goes for a springboard splash off the 2nd rope but slips and drops down into a pin attempt. Ugly. Bravo is the weirdest seller I've ever seen. Every time he's on his back all I see is a turtle trying to get back up. Bravo misses a kneelift in the corner and Muraco goes to work on it. Bravo pushes Muraco out of a spinning toe hold and Muraco gets hung by his neck in the ropes. Double clothesline. Ref bump! Bravo hits his side suplex finisher ("SIDEWALK SLAM!" ....Shut up Tony, you're not even on this show!) but the ref refuses to count and calls for the bell. He DQ's Bravo for pulling him into Muraco's way. Dumb finish, but the match was about as good as you could expect from these guys. * 

First Round Match: Greg "The Hammer" Valentine (w/Jimmy Hart) def Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat in 9:12- Steamboat brings a six month old Richie Steamboat to the ring with him. Ventura: "If he gets in trouble will he tag out to the kid?". Steamboat turns on the jets early and Valentine can't keep up. DEEP armdrag and a nice hook kick. Steamboat starts going for quick pins Wrestlemania 3 style. Valentine weathers the storm, takes over and slows things back down. Monsoon gets his "external occipital protuberance" line in, which drives Ventura nuts. Steamboat fights out of a couple of figure four attempts. Chop fest! These guys could bring the stiff hands. Valentine was so good at that slow "tree timber" like fall, and just about every bump he takes in this match is that. Steamboat goes for the crossbody off the top but Valentine reverses it and grabs a handful of tights to win. Word on the street is Steamboat wanted to win this match and have a rematch with Savage in the second round, both to put on another classic and to give Savage his win back. WWF management was worried that the fans would get behind Steamboat when this was supposed to be Savage's big night and nixed the idea. Steamboat would be out of WWF almost immediately after this and take some time off before rejoining NWA/Crockett/WCW in early '89 to have his legendary trilogy of matches with Ric Flair. **1/2 

First Round Match: "Macho Man" Randy Savage (w/Elizabeth) def "The Natural" Butch Reed (w/Slick) in 5:07- Your Ring Gearhead crew will be keeping track of Savage's gear changes all night long. For match one we have a blue robe, purple trunks and yellow boots, with a blue dress for Elizabeth. They both play to the crowd a bit before diving in. Reed's power game quickly takes over, cutting off all of Savage's comeback attempts. Reed goes up top but starts jawing at Elizabeth, allowing Savage to throw him off the top, run to the other corner, and hit the elbow to win. Paint by numbers face Savage match, with too much Reed to be any good. Savage was warming up for a long night. 3/4* 

First Round Match: One Man Gang (w/Slick) def Bam Bam Bigelow (w/Oliver Humperdink) by countout in 2:56- Hometownish pop for Bigelow. OMG attacks from behind right at the bell. We'll call it a .5 Suzuki-Gun. Shouty Ref is back, but fortunately not saying as much as his last match. It's superheavyweight vs superheavyweight so they do a lot of superheavyweight things. Bigelow gets to show off a bit of his agility but not a lot. Bigelow was an impressively agile big guy but he's not quite peak Big Boss Man or Vader agile. Slick pulls the top rope down to send Bigelow crashing to the floor. Bigelow gets back up on the apron, knocks OMG out of the way and gets back in, but Shouty Ref says it was 10 anyway and rings the bell. Next. 1/4*

Hogan promo time. It starts out normal but soon goes completely off the rails as Hogan talks about bodyslamming Andre causing a fault line break from New York to Tampa and everything is going to fall into the ocean. This is a mass casualty event we're talking about here. He also talks about Donald Trump being a Hulkamaniac and giving up his material possessions while he's hanging on for dear life from the top of Trump Plaza with his family dangling under his arm so Hogan can save him and four years ago I probably could have made a pretty good joke out of all that but now I'm not touching it with a 24 inch python pole. 

First Round Match: Jake "The Snake" Roberts and "Ravishing" Rick Rude (w/Bobby Heenan) go to a 15:00 time limit draw- During his regular prematch routine Rude says that "the odds are in my favorite". New slogan from the Capitol: May the Odds Be Ever in Your Favorite. Bodyslam tradeoff to start. Roberts works the arm and Rude sells it like he's ripping his arm off. We get the usual early DDT tease to get the crowd going. After that Rude takes control, and what follows the next 5 minutes is a series of chinlocks so epic it makes 2006 Randy Orton think it's a little excessive. There's a bit of other stuff between each one, but all total it's four distinct, separate chinlocks. Both Heenan and commentary get antsy that Rude is wasting too much time with the short time limit, and there's audible shouts of "BORING" from the crowd. After getting out of the last one Roberts rolls through his signature stuff, including the shoulder slap punches and the short clothesline. Rude counters another DDT attempt. Double clothesline! Rude goes for a leverage pin with his foot on the ropes, but the bell rings and we have a draw. The match was lacking the time limit countdown that you would get in NWA/WCW back then, or NJPW today, that would have helped build the tension up more. As it is the bell comes out of complete nowhere. But that being said, this viewing I found this match to be better than its reputation. It's not anywhere near great, but I've seen worse draws. If it had been two or three years later a more experienced Rude would have done more with his time. The draw means One Man Gang gets a bye into the semifinals. ** 

The Ultimate Warrior def Hercules (w/Bobby Heenan) in 4:29- This is Warrior's PPV debut. He'd been on WWF TV since the previous fall, mostly squashing jobbers, though he did already have a loss to future rival Rude. This was his first real feud with any kind of story. He and Herc had a match on Wrestling Challenge where Herc got DQ'd for using the chain. Warrior tried to grab the chain from Herc and in the ensuing tug of war the chain broke. They have a shoulderblock standoff to start, then a long, rough lockup. Herc takes three clotheslines to drop Warrior, but Warrior pops back up and clotheslines Herc down. Warrior tries to drop Herc across the top rope but misses. There's a weird spot where Warrior has Herc in the corner and goes up to do the 10 punches spot. After five Herc grabs Warrior like he's going to do an inverted atomic drop counter, but Warrior keeps punching. After the full 10, then Herc picks him up and hits the inverted atomic drop. Herc looks displeased, and not in a selling way. Maybe I'm reading too much into it. Warrior was notoriously difficult to work with early in his career. Herc slaps on the full nelson, but Warrior uses the top turnbuckle to do the flip over. All four shoulders are down, but Warrior gets his up before the 3 to win. Herc celebrates like he won until the announcement, then tries to choke Warrior out with the chain. Not really the best booking. Should have just done another Warrior squash and moved on. 1/2*

Intermission time, which once again has sadly been completely cut from the WWE Network version. The only surviving piece is the video recap of the Hogan/Andre & DiBiase feud.

Second Round Match: Hulk Hogan and Andre the Giant (w/Ted DiBiase and Virgil) go to a double DQ in 5:22- The rematch of the rematch of the match of the century. As Hogan runs and slides into the ring Andre attacks him. Hogan manages to fight him off. DiBiase gets on the apron and Hogan gives them the ol' double noggin knocker. Andre does his favorite spot: getting tied up in the ropes. That lets Hogan finally do the shirt tear. Andre takes back over and goes through his punches, chops, sit down squashes and chokes. Wait, it's not a choke, it's the Nerve Pinch of Excruciating Pain +1. Hogan fights out and hits some clotheslines. He goes to slam Andre, but Virgil jumps up to distract the ref and DiBiase nails him in the back with a chair. Hogan no sells it and steals the chair. He and Andre fight over the chair and take turns hitting each other with it, and the ref calls for the bell. Hogan chases DiBiase and Virgil back up the ramp. DiBiase sacrifices Virgil so he can get away. Not exactly a satisfying match or result, but in context of the whole tournament it's fairly smart booking. Most people were expecting Hogan to walk away with the title and restore normalcy. Now, the whole thing has been blown wide open and anyone could win it. 1/2*

After the match Hogan still does his full 5+ minute victory celebration and posedown. Um, Hulk, could you maybe not just this one time? We've got 16 matches to get through here and no WWE Network to let us go until 1 AM if we want. Besides, it's not like you won anything.

Second Round Match: "The Million Dollar Man" Ted DiBiase def "The Rock" Don Muraco (w/Superstar Billy Graham) in 5:44- After the Hogan/Andre double DQ this match is now for a birth in the final. DiBiase is out by himself. Muraco jumps DiBiase on the apron and headbutts him into the turnbuckles. Muraco hits the power moves and beats DiBiase all over the ring. DiBiase finally rolls out to try to recover but Graham threatens him with his cane. DiBiase slinghots Muraco into the buckle to take control. Oh, here's Shouty Ref again. He's not just Shouty, he's Angry too. The way he looks he kind of reminds me of Harry Cooper from Night of the Living Dead. He came out of that basement pissed off and he's going to stay pissed off dammit. (By the way, Night of the Living Dead is one of Rifftrax's most underrated live shows. Check it out if you haven't. Movie's really all about carpentry, don't you know.) DiBiase hits a hot shot and gets a clean pin to advance. *3/4

One Man Gang is in the ring to accept his bye into the semifinals.

Second Round Match: "Macho Man" Randy Savage (w/Elizabeth) def Greg "The Hammer" Valentine (w/Jimmy Hart) in 6:06- Ring Gearhead update: A really spiffy and unique pastel colored robe with white trim, red trunks and yellow boots for Savage. Pink dress for Elizabeth. Some back and forth to start. Valentine takes a Bret Bump. Valentine goes on offense for a long while with his signature elbows. He throws Savage outside, gives him some stiff chops and a guardrail shot. Savage fights off a figure four attempt and finally says enough of this, he's been doing nothing but selling for almost two straight matches, and takes over at about 100 MPH. Hart interferes and Valentine catches Savage off the top rope. Another figure four attempt, but Savage rolls it into a Paul Smackage to win. **1/4 

WWF Intercontinental Championship: Brutus "The Barber" Beefcake def The Honky Tonk Man (c) (w/Jimmy Hart and Peggy Sue) by DQ in 6:30- Peggy Sue is Sensational Sherri in a blonde wig. Ventura: "Honky's not the most talented but he makes up for it in luck". Backhand insults FTW. Beefcake his a yuge atomic drop, musses up Honky's hair and Honky takes a powder. A missed elbow swings things in Honky's favor. He does some basic stuff, then goes for the Shake, Rattle & Roll but Beefcake grabs the rope to block it. Beefcake sleeper! As Honky's going out Hart hits the ref in the back of the head with the megaphone. Beefcake decides screw it, I wanted to cut hair more anyway. He goes for his bag but Hart steals it. Beefcake chases him down and cuts his hair. While this is going on, two refs are in the ring trying to revive the original ref and Peggy Sue is trying to revive Honky. Yup, match is still going on. Peggy Sue dumps a pitcher of water on Honky to wake him up. Beefcake runs in with the TITANIUN STEEL BLADES but the replacement refs stop him. The bell never rang, but the heels are leaving and Fink announces Beefcake wins by DQ. That's some WCW level of organization there. If you've seen one Honky Tonk IC title defense you've seen them all. *1/4

Famous backstage promo where Bob Uecker gurns for the camera while Andre chokes him.

The Islanders & Bobby Heenan def The British Bulldogs & Koko B Ware in 7:30- This was set up by The Islanders and Heenan temporarily dognapping the Bulldogs' mascot Matilda. Koko is in it because Heenan suddenly decided he hated any animals at ringside and had a go at Frankie too. Heenan is dressed up in a dog trainer's outfit, complete with jacket and "bite proof" padded pants. Heenan runs from Matilda during the entrances and makes a pretty impressive leap out of the ring. Heenan was shockingly agile. There's still a huge wet spot in the ring from the previous match. It wasn't Matilda. Dynamite flips Tama in using the top rope to get things going. Davey Boy and Haku do a double crossbody. Koko does a nice rolling headlock/headscissors combo on both Islanders. Kind of a reverse Magic Killer except the guy on top is the one on offense. Haku beats Dynamite down and tags Heenan in. Heenan gets some punches and kicks in but bails as soon as Dynamite hits him once. Heenan gets in again with Koko and he and Koko go 50/50 with each other. Sounds about right. Heenan takes a Bret Bump. DONNYBROOK! The Islanders pick Heenan up and splash him down on Koko to get the win. Hall of Famer Koko B Ware loses yet another TV match. Afterward the Bulldogs try to get Matilda to "attack" Heenan on the ramp but all she wants is to play. Everyone sells it anyway. **

DiBiase is in the ring to accept his bye. I can imagine his exchange with the ref: "How much for the bye?" "Mr. DiBiase, you earned it." "But I haven't paid for it yet." "You don't have to, you earned it." "What do you mean?" "........That'll be $100." "Here you go. Everybody's got a price!" 

Semifinal Match: "Macho Man" Randy Savage (w/Elizabeth) def One Man Gang (w/Slick) in 4:05 by DQ- Ring Gearhead update: black and green robe, purple tights and yellow boots for Savage. Black dress for Elizabeth. Oh look, Harry Cooper is out of the basement again. Someone must have told him there's a TV up here. Savage hits the jumping over the top clothesline but OMG soon takes over big guy style. Savage doges the 747 splash. Slick tries to run down Elizabeth. OMG attacks Savage with Slick's cane and gets DQ'd. That's three wins for Savage, but I wouldn't call any of them Savage showcase matches. 3/4*
 
WWF Tag Team Championship: Demolition (w/Mr. Fuji) def Strike Force (c) in 12:33- Strike Force's music is classic peppy '80s. Smash and Martel start, but it quickly breaks down into all four in the ring. Strike Force work quick tags on both Demos. Ax murders Santana with a double team clothesline and Santana goes face in peril. He gets out by nailing Ax with the flying quesadilla and gets the hot tag to Martel. Martel gets the Boston Crab on Smash, but the ref gets caught up in first Santana and Ax and then Santana and Fuji fighting, allowing Ax to nail Martel with Fuji's cane. Ax drapes Smash over Martel for the win. This was the first of Demolition's then-record 3 title wins. This is also the start of the reign that would last 478 days, a record that would stand for over 25 years before being broken by The New Day. The match was perfectly acceptable tag team wrestling. **3/4

Super special guest celebrity time. Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous host Robin Leach brings the beautiful and still brand new Winged Eagle belt to the ring. Bob Uecker is the guest ring announcer, Vanna White is the guest timekeeper. 

Finals of the Tournament for the Vacant WWF Championship: "Macho Man" Randy Savage (w/Elizabeth) def "The Million Dollar Man" Ted DiBiase (w/Andre the Giant) in 9:27-Ring Gearhead update: white and blue robe, red trunks and yellow boots for Savage. White dress for Elizabeth. Wrestling has quick costume changes too. Barely 10 seconds into the match Andre trips Savage. The crowd immediately starts chanting for Hogan. Less than a minute later Andre trips him again. Now the crowd is really chanting for Hogan. Back and forth for a bit. DiBiase confers with Andre. Despite the night's workload both guys are busting their tails. Savage in particular is turning the jets on every chance he gets. A high knee sends DiBiase flying outside. Savage signals Elizabeth to go to the back. The crowd's not fooled about what's going on, they're chanting for Hogan again. Yup, here he is. Hogan grabs a chair and parks it ringside. DiBiase looks psyched out. Andre tries to interfere again but Hogan runs over and punches him out. Savage gives DiBiase the Flair slam from the top rope, then goes for the elbow but misses. DiBiase hooks in the Million Dollar Dream. Andre reaches in to get involved again, and while the ref is busy with him Hogan whacks DiBiase in the back with his chair. Savage hits the elbow, 3 count, and Savage has won his first WWF Championship. Not too shabby considering the overbooking. I would have loved to see what these guys could do with a normal 20-30 minute WM main event without the tournament backdrop and interference. It would have been a classic. Does Hogan outshine Savage or take away from his win here? Maybe. The argument could be made. But they were already planning for Savage's heel turn and Hogan vs Savage at WM 5 so in that context it makes a bit more sense. ***

The Mega Powers celebrate to close the show. One last inside baseball footnote: word on the street (again) is that DiBiase was originally scheduled to win the title here and Savage would take it sometime later in the year (presumably the first Summerslam), but for whatever reason Vince got cold feet. DiBiase would stay a top heel his whole WWF career but would never sniff the title again.

OVERALL SHOW THOUGHTS- One night tournaments never work as good in practice as they look on paper. The first round isn't too bad, but it becomes more and more of a slog as it goes on. The non-tournament part of the card falls into the "not awful, not great" category. Far from the best Wrestlemania, but Savage's coronation is a great moment.

OVERALL SHOW GRADE: C-