Legacy Review
WrestleMania III
March 29, 1987 from the PontiacCommentary: Gorilla Monsoon and Jesse Ventura
Welcome to the peak of the 1980s wrestling boom. The first Wrestlemania showed the idea was viable, and didn't bankrupt WWF in the process. Wrestlemania 2 was an interesting but lackluster experiment in a multiple arena show (which the NWA/Crockett were also doing with Starrcade). This show would be the template for every Wrestlemania that came after, and features the most hyped, most anticipated and biggest wrestling match in history to date- Hulk Hogan vs Andre the Giant.
Vince welcomes us to Wrestlemania THREE! I guess he didn't mind numbering them back then. Maybe he can't count above 30. Aretha Franklin belts out a Motown version of the National Anthem According to Vince, America The Beautiful.
This is the first of two Wrestlemanias to use the legendary motorized carts dressed up as miniature rings to take the wrestlers to and from the ring. Seriously, who doesn't want these back? Other than Vince.
The Can-Am Connection def "The Ace" Cowboy Bob Orton & The Magnificent Muraco (w/Mr. Fuji) in 5:37- In-ring intros here. Entrance music was still a hit or miss thing. Orton is not the Ace in the way that Hiroshi Tanahashi is THE ACE. He's not particularly well remembered now, but Muraco is a two time Intercontinental champion in an era where they didn't hand out secondary title reigns to practically everyone who walked in the door. He was also The Rock before The Rock was....er, The Rock. Or Rocky Maivia. Anyway. Muraco and Martel start. The faces go through a nice double team sequence. Monsoon calls Orton the "excellence of execution". Gimmick infringement! The heels try a double team of their own and fail miserably. Muraco does the Triple H flip in the corner. DONNYBROOK! Muraco mistakenly backflips Orton, then Martel hits him with a crossbody and Muraco trips over Zenk, allowing Martel to get the 3. Serviceable opener. **
Billy Jack Haynes vs Hercules (w/Bobby Heenan) goes to a double countout in 7:44- This is one of those "who has the better full nelson" feuds. Very rough lockup, and Haynes rolls through some power moves. A stiff clothesline from Herc cuts him off. Herc goes for a pin but pulls Haynes back up at 2, wanting to finish him with the full neslon. Herc gets it on but doesn't fully lock it in and Haynes powers out. After a double clothesline Haynes locks in his own full nelson. Herc rolls them both through the ropes outside, but Haynes locks the full nelson right back in, refuses to break during the count, and both guys are counted out. Afterward Herc attacks Haynes with his chain and busts him open. Haynes showed some spunkiness when in control, while Herc was his usual sluggish self. The British Bulldog and The Warlord would have a much better "full neslon power" match at WM 7. *1/2
Hillbilly Jim, The Haiti Kid and Little Beaver def King Kong Bundy, Little Tokyo and Lord Littlebrook by DQ in 3:25- In his prematch promo Bundy promises to squash some midgets and scoop them up with a spatula. Bundy's going from main eventing Wrestlemania 2 with Hogan to this. Heenan is still managing Bundy but isn't with him because he "doesn't deal with midgets". Mixed tag rules here: big guys vs big guys and small guys vs small guys. For the record, none of the midgets come up from Little People Land under the ring. Beaver and Tokyo start, but all four are in the ring almost right away. 4 way little crisscross! Nothing screams wrestling's carnie history more than midgets doing comedy spots. Beaver gets pushed into the heel corner and tries to elbow Bundy in the gut. Bundy gets tagged in and goes for Beaver but Beaver dodges and Jim comes in to make the save. Jim goes for a pin and the face midgets pile on top of him, but Bundy throws them all off. Beaver keeps going after Bundy. Finally Bundy catches him and bodyslams him (gotta say, he was kinda asking for it), then drops an elbow on him. The ref calls for the DQ. Bundy goes for the splash, but the face and heel midgets team up to save Beaver. 1/2*
Guest celebrity Mary Hart (anyone younger than 30 will probably need to look her up) tries to interview Elizabeth but Savage interrupts and, as usual, won't let Elizabeth talk and shoos her away. DOWN THAT AISLE, YEAH!
"King" Harley Race (w/Bobby Heenan and The Fabulous Moolah) def The Junkyard Dog in 4:22- The stipulation in this match is the loser must bow to the winner. Race had won the most recent King of the Ring tournament and would, with Heenan's assistance, make all the jobbers he beat on weekly TV bow down to him after the match. There's no denying JYD was over, he gets the biggest pop of the night so far. Heenan grabs JYD's foot almost immediately. JYD chases and gets nailed from behind by Race. Race goes for the fall down headbutt from the apron onto the floor but misses! Race does a 360 back into the ring from the apron, then gets 360 clotheslined out again! I'll give it to Race, he's getting older but he's still willing to bump like a champ. Race gets the fall down headbutt in the ring, but he's hitting JYD in the head, it has no effect other than hurting Race. Race does the Flair Flip out of the corner! JYD starts hitting the crawling headbutts. Monsoon: "JYD is on all fours, his favorite position!". Er........ Heenan distracts him again, allowing Race to get a belly to belly suplex and the pin. JYD, per the stip, gives Race the tiniest little bow you've ever seen, then attacks Race with his own chair. What a sore loser. Race was getting to the end of his all-time great career, but he had a mile or two left on the bumpometer. *
Vince, of all people, is backstage with Hogan. Typical Hogan promo, but I bring it up because of how Vince manages to keep the exact look of bewilderment on his face the entire time.
The Dream Team (w/Luscious Johnny V and Dino Bravo) def The Fabulous Rougeau Brothers in 4:03- The Rougeaus are (bland) babyfaces here, which is weird to see when you know how great they were as heels. Raymond and Beefcake start. The Rougeaus break out the for the era flippydo early and often. Valentine ducks a Jacques reverse crossbody attempt off the 2nd rope. While the heels are in charge Bobby Heenan storms into commentary, claiming to be 2-0 so far on the show. Beefcake accidentally hits Valentine. The Rougeaus hit their finisher, but the ref is distracted, allowing Bravo to come in and clobber Jacques, roll Beefcake on top, and the Dream Team wins. But all is not well after the miscommunication earlier, as the rest of the group leaves Beefcake behind after the match, breaking the team up and giving Beefcake a de facto face turn that would be solidified shortly. You know, the Rougeaus would be a hell of a team today. I could see them having killer junior tag matches in New Japan. *3/4
Hair vs Hair Match: "Rowdy" Roddy Piper def "Adorable" Adrian Adonis (w/Jimmy Hart) in 6:33- This was billed as Piper's retirement match. No, really. OK, stop laughing and compose yourself, I'll wait. Right. This was set up when Adonis stormed Piper on Piper's Pit and destroyed both Piper and the show's original set. Adonis is a fat guy (I'm a fat guy, I can say that) that liked wearing women's clothes and makeup. Draw your own conclusions. No cart for Piper, he walks/jogs to the ring and gets a MASSIVE ovation for his supposed last match. Piper is hiding his belt in his trunks, and as soon as the match starts takes it out and starts whipping Adonis right in front of the ref. He tries to choke Hart out with it, allowing Adonis to hit him from behind then start using the belt himself. Adonis does the Flair Flip in the corner! He was big but he could move. Jimmy Hart is all over this match too. He's taking as many bumps as Sherri would. Hart squirts Piper in the face with Adonis' Fragrance (exactly the same as Rick Martel's Arrogance) and Adonis puts on the Good Night Irene, his sleeperhold. Piper is going out, but Adonis lets go after the ref only gets two arm drops and he and Hart celebrate like he won. During that Brutus Beefcake comes in and revives Piper, who locks in his own sleeper. Adonis goes out and the ref calls it. Beefcake helps Piper cut Adonis' hair off, kicking off his Barber gimmick and finalizing his face turn. Finkel announces Piper wins in his FAREWELL MATCH. Uh huh. A fan runs in to celebrate with Piper and you can see security tackle and drag him out in cuffs as Piper leaves. Piper actually did take a break from wrestling to try to start a career in Hollywood, most notably starring in John Carpenter's 1988 cult classic They Live, but he would be back with the WWF by 1989. Adonis would be fired by WWF barely a month after this, and he was tragically killed in a car accident the following year. **1/4
Intermission time, most of which has been removed for the WWE Network version. Shame. You can see that night is starting to fall and the stadium is getting darker, only making it look better.
WWF Tag Team Champions The Hart Foundation & Danny Davis (w/Jimmy Hart) def The British Bulldogs & Tito Santana in 8:52- This is part of one of the first heel referee angles in wrestling. Davis was involved in numerous controversial finishes, including a Hogan/Orndorff steel cage match on an early Saturday Night's Main Event. The Harts beat the Bulldogs for the tag titles in January, a match that Davis also reffed and the heels won by cheating. That was the last straw, and Jack Tunney banned Davis from refereeing for, in the words of Gorilla Monsoon, "life plus 10 years". They even worked Santana into the feud by pointing out that Davis was the ref in the match that he lost the IC title to Randy Savage, which Savage also cheated to win. Officially this is Davis' debut as a wrestler, but he had already been working matches the past few years as a masked jobber called Mr. X. As soon as the faces hit the ring Matilda tears for Jimmy Hart and attacks him. Seriously. I don't know how they got the dog to do it but it looks legit. With that distraction the faces Suzuki-Gun the heels while the Harts still have the belts on. Davey Boy fights off a heel double team attempt. Santana gets backed up into the heel corner but escapes. Bret bump! Dynamite Kid goes face in peril, and once it's safe enough Davis finally tags in. He kicks Dynamite twice then tags right out again. Davis' arrogant strut is something to behold. The Harts slingshot Davis in, but Dynamite gets his knees up and gets the hot tag to Santana. Santana unloads on Davis. He hits the flying taco but refuses to go for the pin. Davey Boy hits a tombstone on Davis, but also doesn't try for the pin. They want to kill this man. Davey Boy squashes Davis with the powerslam, but the Harts break up the pin. DONNYBROOK! In the confusion Davis nails Davey Boy with Hart's megaphone and gets the pin. This all made perfect sense storyline wise, but I would have loved to have seen an all-out Harts/Bulldogs PPV match. ***1/4
"The Natural" Butch Reed (w/Slick) def Koko B Ware in 3:39- Not much to this one. Koko uses the speed, Reed uses the power and heel tactics. Reed reverses a crossbody and grabs a handful of tights to win. After the match, Santana (who I guess was hanging out in Little People Land between matches) runs in, beats up Slick and tries to tear his fine threads off. Yet another TV loss for Hall of Famer Koko B Ware. 3/4*
WWF Intercontinental Championship: Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat (w/George "The Animal" Steele) def "Macho Man" Randy Savage (c) (w/Elizabeth) in 14:35- I know this match. You know this match. Tons of ink, real and digital, have been used in discussing this match. How about you and I, dear reader, dive into it one more time? This all started when Savage crushed Steamboat's larynx with the guardrail and the ring bell. When Steamboat returned he brought old Savage foe Steele with him, who always had a thing for Elizabeth and tried to (literally) steal her away again. Savage's title reign stands at a then-record 414 days as of this match. Savage is still a heel but gets a face pop so big even Monsoon mentions it. After the initial lockup Savage jumps right back out and repositions Elizabeth. Steamboat with the classic DEEP armdrags. Savage tries to work the throat right away, while Steamboat works on Savage's arm. They go back and forth, back and forth so much it's hard to keep up. Savage gets tied up in the ropes. Now on Irish whip spots they keep reversing and reversing. Steamboat starts going for quick pins, which is the theme of this match. Savage gets a high knee to the back and tries to throw Steamboat out, but Steamboat skins the cat. Savage congratulates him by clotheslining him back over and fully out this time. Savage knocks Steamboat over the timekeeper's table AND the guardrail. Steele helps Steamboat get back in, much to Ventura's consternation. As soon as he's back in, Savage throws him right back out again! Double axe handle off the top to the floor. Double axe handle off the top in the ring. Now Savage goes for a series of quick pin attempts. Steamboat fights back and backdrops Savage out. Steamboat hits the karate chop off the top and it's another series of quick covers. Steamboat gets a sunset flip to kick off a series of roll up attempts. Steamboat slingshots Savage into the post, and then they start countering each other's roll ups into more roll ups! This match is absolutely breathless. I have no breath. I don't know how they have breath. Savage grabs the tights and pulls Steamboat face first into the turnbuckles. Ref bump! Savage hits the elbow off the top but there's no ref. Savage goes out, gets the bell and goes up top to destroy Steamboat with it again, but Steele pushes him off. Steamboat counters a bodyslam attempt into a Paul Smackage and it's over! Elizabeth consoles a dejected Savage all the way to the back. They would listen to Savage's reactions and turn him face soon after this. Steamboat unfortunately as the ultimate babyface forever was more suited as the chaser than the chasee, and would drop the title just a couple of months later to the Honky Tonk Man, who would go on to break Savage's record. This was the first ever classic Wrestlemania match, and still holds up today as one of the best of all time. *****
The Honky Tonk Man (w/Jimmy Hart) def Jake "The Snake" Roberts (w/Alice Cooper) in 7:04- Yes, that's the musician Alice Cooper. This got started when Honky attacked Roberts on the set of his Snake Pit talk show, which also solidified Roberts' face turn after Vince tried to use him as a heel but fans kept cheering for him, even against Hogan. Looking at how elaborate the Snake Pit set is, I miss those old school talk show sets. Snake Pit, Piper's Pit, Barber Shop, Brother Love Show, Funeral Parlor, they all looked great. Roberts jumps up from the floor and *over* the bottom rope on his entrance in one clean movement. That's impressive. Roberts attacks Honky while he's dancing with his back turned on the apron. Honky tries to bail but Roberts follows and rips off his entrance gear. Honky slips out of the DDT, rolls out and manages to catch Roberts and throw him into the guardrail. Honky takes over and slooooooooooooooooooooooows everything down. Roberts backdrops out of a Shake Rattle & Roll attempt. Roberts goes for the DDT again but Hart grabs his foot, Honky rolls him up and grabs the top rope for leverage to get the pin. You know, I get suspension of disbelief, we all happily do it as wrestling fans, but come on, grabbing the *top* rope? There's no way the ref couldn't see that. Alice Cooper and Hart have words after. Cooper takes his jacket off and he's smaller than Cheeseburger. Roberts dodges a guitar shot as Honky leaves the ring. *1/2
Mean Gene joins us in the ring to announce that Wrestlemania 3 has set a new indoor attendance record of 93,173. Over the years wrestling journalists, and "journalists", have disputed this number, and the alternative numbers they've proposed have themselves been disputed. I'm not wading into the weeds on this. I'll just mention that I was at Wrestlemania 32 in Dallas when this show's record was broken. Suck it, Detroit.
The Iron Sheik & Nikolai Volkoff (w/Slick) def The Killer Bees by DQ in 5:44- The Soviet Union and Iran teaming up for evil. How very 80s (just for the record I am a child of the 80s and would never have it any other way). Slick's clothes are still torn up from Santana's attack earlier. Nice continuity. The newly WWF signed Hacksaw Jim Duggan runs in and chases the heels off during Volkoff's traditional singing of the Soviet National Anthem, declaring that he'll never let it be sung in the USA again. The heels Suzuki-Gun attack before the bell. Duggan stays at ringside, enraging Ventura. The faces fight off the attack and start working on Sheik with fast tags. Ring Gearhead fact: the Killer Bees are wearing sneakers (Nike, to be specific) and high socks instead of boots, two of the first wrestlers to do so. There's trash all over the ring that was thrown in by fans during the national anthem singing. We're late in the show and I suspect alcohol consumption has gotten to high levels. Volkoff takes over and Brunzell goes face in peril. Sheiky Baby puts him in the camel clutch to break his back and make him humble. Duggan has been chasing Volkoff around the ring, and as they go through the ring Duggan stops and whacks Sheik with the 2x4, causing a DQ for the faces. FACKING BULLS&*T! Duggan was never a genius. The Bees kept it lively while they were in control, and the booking works. **
Main event feud recap- Hogan and Andre were BFFs. Andre was legitimately the first person in the locker room to celebrate with Hogan after he won the title. On a January edition of Piper's Pit, Jack Tunney presented Hogan with a trophy to signify him reaching three years as WWF champion (a common title reign length at that time). Andre came in to celebrate but was clearly annoyed. A week later, Tunney presented Andre with a much smaller trophy for being "undefeated for 15 years" (Completely not true but there was no internet to fact check such things back then. I'm sure the fanzines were screaming). Hogan came in to congratulate Andre but, being Hogan, sucked all the oxygen out of the room, and Andre just turned around and left the set. A week after that Jesse Ventura told Piper that he can produce Andre next week if Piper can produce Hogan. Piper agreed. On that following Piper's Pit Andre showed up with longtime Hogan foe Bobby Heenan for the first time and challenged Hogan for a title match at Wrestlemania. Hogan gave his always awful "Oh God this can't be happening" acting, so Andre showed how serious he was by ripping his shirt and crucifix necklace right off him. The biggest match in wrestling history was ready to go.
WWF Championship: Hulk Hogan (c) def Andre the Giant (w/Bobby Heenan) in 12:01- Heenan's tuxedo is amazing. The trash throwing is a near epic levels on Andre's entrance. About .7 NWO. Ventura complains that Andre hasn't gotten a title shot in 15 "undefeated" years. Monsoon points out that he never asked for or even wanted a title shot until Heenan got in his ear. No cart and a massive pop for Hogan. Hogan and Andre have the epicest of epic staredowns while Monsoon gives his legendary, if not totally original, "The irresistible force meets the immovable object" line. Hogan goes for a bodyslam early, but can't fully lift and Andre falls right on top of him. Hogan BARELY gets his shoulder up at 2.9. Andre and Heenan both argue it was 3, and would continue to for months afterward. The crowd sucked in so much air on that I'm surprised the dome roof didn't collapse. Andre works Hogan over until Hogan ducks a headbutt in the corner and Andre headbutts the turnbuckle. Hogan tries to take control but Andre counters with a big boot. It's the bear hug! (anyone that hasn't seen the clip of Daniel Bryan on commentary ranting about wrestling bears and then flipping out over a bear hug needs to do that posthaste) Hogan wakes up on the 3rd arm drop and powers out, but Andre chops him back down. Andre has had an answer for everything so far. They go outside and Hogan ducks another Andre headbutt, causing Andre to headbutt the ring post. On the original broadcast and several home video releases after you can clearly see Andre stop a good few inches before the post, so on the current Network cut the camera switches for a few seconds to the hard camera angle. Hogan pulls up the mat outside and goes for a piledriver, but Andre powers out. Back in the ring a shoulderblock finally drops Andre for the first time in the match. Hogan Hulks Up, then in the single most iconic moment in Wrestlemania, if not all of WWF/E history, picks up Andre the Giant and bodyslams him. The legdrop, a 3 and we're done. Bobby Heenan hold his head in his hand dejected on the whole ride back to the locker room. The carts weren't just cool looking, they were also a good storytelling aid. Andre's mobility hadn't been completely hampered at this point yet. He was very limited but he could stand comfortably without leaning on the ropes, which wouldn't last much longer. Hogan hadn't yet fallen into the formula finish trap either. It's a *3/4 match and a ***** spectacle. Split the difference and call the whole package **1/2.
OVERALL SHOW THOUGHTS: Don't let the lack of snowflakes outside of Savage/Steamboat fool you. This is very much a "the whole is greater than the sum of its parts" type of show, and highly entertaining from start to finish. It features both one of the greatest matches of all time, and one of the greatest spectacles of all time. Every Wrestlemania since owes a debt to this show, and every wrestling fan should see it at least once.
OVERALL SHOW GRADE: A-
No comments:
Post a Comment