King of the Ring '93

Legacy Review

King of the Ring '93

June 13, 1993 from the Nutter Center in Dayton, OH

Commentary: Jim Ross, Bobby Heenan and Randy Savage

Other than the failed This Tuesday in Texas experiment in '91, this is the first WWF PPV added to the original Big Four. In order to really make it seem like a big deal WWF temporarily erased the record books of all the previous KOTR tournaments to make this appear to be the first one ever, something you could still get away with in the pre-internet age. The first round was held on weekly TV, leaving the final eight for the one night tournament. The situation between Vince and Hulk Hogan was also reaching a boiling point, with Vince realizing WM 9 was a mistake and starting to take steps to correct it.

Man, it doesn't get much better than the original KOTR logo. It's absolutely glorious. The whole bracket graphic is good too. It even conveniently has all the faces written in white and all the heels in black.

Quarterfinals: Bret "Hitman" Hart def Razor Ramon in 10:25- This is a rematch of the WWF title match at the Royal Rumble. Ramon is greeted with "1-2-3" chants, as this is after his legendary upset loss to young Sean Waltman on Raw. Lockup standoffs to start. After a quick back and forth Bret goes into arm work. Both guys block hiptosses and Ramon kills Bret with a clothesline. Bret dodges the follow up elbow drop and goes back to the arm with an armdrag. Ramon tries to slam out of an armbar but Bret rolls through it. Finally Ramon eye pokes to take control. Back elbow for 2. Bret grabs another hammerlock. Ramon gets a knee up in the corner, grabs Bret and throws his shoulder into the post. Beatdown and fallaway slam for 2. Powerslam for 2. Bret dodges elbow drops and punches back. Five Moves of Doom. Bret ducks a punch and rolls Ramon up for 2. Ramon counters a bulldog, leading to a Bret bump. He sets up for the Razor's Edge. Bret slips out and hooks a backslide in. Ramon fights it, so Bret climbs the turnbuckles, flips over, and rolls up a small package. Ramon JUST kicks out. The crowd thought it was 3. As Bret's arguing with the ref Ramon clotheslines him from behind. He plants Bret on the top turnbuckle and goes for a back superplex, but Bret rolls it over, falls on top of Ramon, and gets the pin! It started slow but had a great stretch run. Bret's warming up for an active night. ***

We get footage of Giant Gonzalez and Mr. Hughes taking out the Undertaker and Paul Bearer on non-Raw weekly TV. Hughes becomes the first of many wrestlers to steal the urn.

 

Quarterfinals: Mr. Perfect def Mr. Hughes (w/Harvey Wippleman) by DQ in 6:02- This is part of a very short WWF run for Hughes after jumping over from WCW. He has the urn with him. As Perfect gets in the ring he throws his towel onto Hughes' shoulder without breaking stride, and placed (no pun intended) perfectly. Hughes throws Perfect around out of the lockups. They go speed and Hughes gets a huge head of steam, selling a Perfect armdrag by almost flying out of the ring. A Perfect dropkick is barely sold. A Hughes punch in the corner sends Perfect 360 and out. Back in Hughes hits a big boot and locks in a couple of neck wringers. Perfect uses Hughes' tie to get out of the second one. If you're going to wear a tie in the ring, it should be fair game. Like a football player getting tackled by his long hair. Perfect does his flippy sell of a buckle bump. Hughes looks like he's going for a spinebuster but fraks it up horribly and both guys end up flopping on top of each other. Perfect dodges a rope dive and comes back. Hughes starts selling a hiptoss before Perfect touches him. Snap mare/neck snap. Hughes grabs the urn and whacks Perfect with it for a cheap DQ. Hughes did show a bit of selling spunk outside the sloppy spots. *1/2

 

Quarterfinals: Bam Bam Bigelow def "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan in 4:59- Duggan's in a rare singlet instead of trunks. Shoulderblock standoffs. Clotheslines take Bigelow down. Slugfest. A guy in the crowd has a giant "Bam Bam Pigelow" sign and that's making me laugh way more than it should. Duggan takes a hard shot in the ribs on a buckle bump, but dodges Bigelow's charge and both guys recover. Duggan tries a bodyslam but can't get Bigelow up. Bigelow headbutts him in the back. Duggan dodges a diving headbutt. He tries a slam again, but Bigelow falls on top of him for a 2 count. Duggan bites out of a bear hug. He goes for a backdrop. Bigelow goes to counter, but Duggan anticipates the counter and counters the counter. Outsmarted by Duggan. Might as well go back to Asbury Park and hope the rest of the year gets better. Finally Duggan gets the bodyslam. He goes for the 3 point stance tackle. Bigelow dodges and Duggan's head smashes into the top turnbuckle. Bigelow hits the diving headbutt of the top rope and good night. Shockingly not awful. This would be Duggan's last major WWF appearance for a while. He'd leave before Summerslam and spend time in the indys and resting up before moving to WCW in mid-'94 as part of Eric Bischoff's vacuuming up of every ex-WWF guy he could get his hands on. **

 

Quarterfinals: "The Narcissist" Lex Luger and Tatanka go to a 15:00 time limit draw- In between Wrestlemania and this show Luger's knockout artist secret was exposed: a steel plate in his forearm to repair an injury. President Tunney hadn't yet made an official edict about it, but the ref for this match forces Luger to wear a pad over it, threatening to toss him from the tournament if he doesn't. Both guys are billed as undefeated so something's got to give. As soon as Tatanka gets in the ring Luger jumps him, throws him out, and goes back to posing in his giant mirror. Tatanka comes back in and dumps the mirror on top of him. Tatanka chops (eventually and with difficulty) send Luger 360 and out. Back in Tatanka goes on the warpath and does some arm work. Chops on the arm and Luger begging off help keep it interesting. Tatanka crossbody for 2. Back to the arm. Luger powers out and hits kicks and a knee to the gut. Backbreaker, followed by elbow drops for near falls. Luger argues with the ref and Tatanka rolls him up for 2. Luger kills time with some chinlocks but does a decent job keeping the intensity up. Another Tatanka comeback is cut off with a clothesline. Tatanka gets a small package for 2 but Luger's quickly back on top. Big Tatanka sunset flip for 2. Luger hits a massive delayed telegraphed kick to Tatanka's gut. Tatanka no sells a buckle shot and starts to dance up. Chops lead to a long 2 count. Powerslam for 2. Chop of the top rope for 2. Luger dodges a second dive off the top. Luger powerslam for 2. A suplex and a slow cover for 2. They're in time limit stalling mode now. Luger hits a backbreaker, waits, covers for 2, and right after the bell rings for the time limit. Luger grabs the mic and demands five more minutes, but won't get it because of the tournament format. He rips the pad off and gives Tatanka a KO shot. Meh. The lack of an in-arena time limit countdown hurt the match, as it does every rare time WWF dips into a time limit draw. Having Luger control most of the match was probably a good call. *3/4

Mean Gene stirs the pot between Bret and Perfect. A "my dad can beat your dad" argument pops up, as does Bret winning their previous match at Summerslam '91, a rare for this era WWF nod to continuity.

 

Semifinals: Bret "Hitman" Hart def Mr. Perfect in 18:56- Bret's hand is taped up after Ramon's stomps on it earlier. Perfect gets a waistlock, Bret gets to the ropes. They go speed and Bret hits a big hiptoss, followed by nice headlock/headscissor reversals. Perfect hits his first big .9 Flair chop of the match. Slam exchange. Bret gets a crucifix for 2. He hits a crossbody, and Perfect's kickout sends him to the floor. Bret with a huge shoulder to the gut and sunset flip back in. Perfect gets a cheap knee to the gut on a rope break and starts a lean heel trend he'll stick with the rest of the match. A standing dropkick sends Bret to the floor again. Perfect opens the ropes for him to come back in...then ambushes him! Kneelift for 2. More kicks to Bret's gut. Bret rolls out again. As gets back on the apron Perfect pushes with the rope, and Bret FLIES off the apron all the way to the guardrail! He hit his knee on a drink container on the way down. Perfect drags him back in. Missile dropkick. Cover. Bret gets a foot on the rope. A Bret bump gets a 2 count. Perfect goes up top again. Bret pops back up! He punches Perfect, sets up....and hits a superplex! Perfect JUST kicks out! Bret kicks Perfect's leg out of his leg and we're going to school. Figure four! Perfect fights it, tries to eye poke out, and finally just barely drags himself to the ropes. Bret goes back to the knee and scissors it. Perfect drops his leg on Bret's nose to get out. Both guys sell the hurt knees the rest of the match. Perfect throws Bret across the ring by his hair. Sleeper! Bret gets wobbly and barely gets himself to the ropes. Perfect's slow to release it. Another huge chop, and back to the sleeper with Perfect heeling it up even more by using added rope leverage behind Hebner's back. Bret runs Perfect into the top turnbuckle. HUGE Bret European uppercut. He throws Perfect across the ring by his hair. FMOD with a couple of good near falls. He goes for the Sharpshooter. Perfect grabs his taped up hand to fight out of it. Perfect stomps on the hand! He hooks up for the Perfectplex. Bret fights and blocks it, maneuvers to the ropes, and suplexes Perfect from the ring to the floor, falling out of the ring himself! As they get back in the ring Perfect wraps up a small package, but Bret reverses it and gets the pin! After the bell a pissed off Perfect teases continuing the fight, but ends up offering a quick handshake. Another amazing match from these two, almost as good as their Summerslam classic, and a completely different style match from that one to boot. Unless there's something else mind blowing I'm completely spacing on, this is WWF's match of the year for 1993. ****1/2

Hogan gives a bog standard Hogan promo. I know it became commonplace in his WCW years, but I can't overstate how weird it was to see Jimmy Hart standing with Hogan this soon after Hart's face turn.

 

WWF Championship: Yokozuna (w/Mr. Fuji) def Hulk Hogan (c) (w/Jimmy Hart) in 13:09- Yokozuna's got a huge contingent of Japanese photographers with him, including one we can see in a glancing shot that has an obvious fake beard and false nose glasses. I'm sure that's not suspicious in any way whatsoever. Cool shot as Hogan milks his entrance while Yokozuna stares him down on the Titantron. Cautious start. Yokozuna stalemates with Hogan on the first lockup and wins the second. A long, dull, slow beatdown follows. Hogan dodges an avalanche, hits mounted punches and bites Yokozuna. Corner clothesline. He goes for a bodyslam. Not happening. Hogan ducks a clothesline and tries to slam Yokozuna again. No dice. Hogan staggers Yokozuna with clotheslines until Yoko counters with a clothesline of his own. Hogan dodges a (very) big splash and tries a shoulderblock but he's the one that goes down. Bear hug. Long bear hug. They do the arm drops and Hogan punches out. A Yokozuna back elbow kills the momentum. Big Yokozuna belly to belly suplex. Cover. Hulk Up. 3 punches, big boot, Yokozuna doesn't go down. Second big boot. Still not down. THIRD big boot. Finally he goes down. Legdrop. Yokozuna kicks out! The suspicious photographer with the fake beard gets on the apron. Hogan walks over to him in a pretty clear spot setup and gets a face full of flash paper when the camera "explodes". Yokozuna hits his own legdrop, covers, and we have a new champion! That Hogan superfan at ringside looks like everything just came crashing down and hurts inside, brother. Yokozuna hits the Banzai Drop and Hogan has to be helped to the back. Heenan says it directly: "Hulkamania is dead". But he still couldn't lose clean. Hogan would immediately disappear from WWF TV and take some time off before his huge signing with WCW in the spring of '94, the first major salvo in what would become the Monday Night Wars. Vince would try to move on, and the two wouldn't reunite until after the fall of WCW in 2002. Not a good match by any means, Hogan was giving bare minimum effort and Yoko's ballooning weight was already hampering him, but a hugely historic one. 3/4*

 

The Steiner Brothers and The Smoking Gunns def WWF Tag Team Champions Money Inc and The Headshrinkers (w/Afa) in 6:49- Cool down match, activate. Scott and DiBiase start. DiBiase hits armdrags while Scott tries to mat wrestle. A Steinerline sends DiBiase 360 and out. Rick throws him back in, and Scott Steinerlines him right back out! Bart outwrestles Fatu. Fatu flips the script with a huge superkick and Bart goes Gunn in peril. Double backdrop by the Headshrinkers. IRS gets a near fall. Bart with a desperation sunset flip for 2 and there's tags on both sides. Billy Gunn (yes, THAT Billy Gunn, this is his early career) cleans house until DiBiase hits him with a hot shot. Million Dollar Dream. Billy's going out, but DiBiase releases the hold to gloat and get some more humiliation in before finishing it off. Big mistake, as Billy rolls up a Paul Smackage outta nowhere for 3. Technically sound, but not much else. Over the next week Money Inc and the Steiners would trade the tag titles back and forth a few times on the house show loop, with the Steiners ultimately ending up with the gold. Money Inc would formally disband soon after, ending an 18 monthish run where they were quietly and under the radar one of the more dominant teams in WWF/E history.  **1/4

President Tunney congratulates Yokozuna on his title win and doesn't even mention the interference by the photographer. Hulk who?

 

WWF Intercontinental Championship: Shawn Michaels (c) (w/Diesel) def Crush in 11:14- Shawn had just won the IC title back from Marty Janetty (after Janetty upset him on Raw a few weeks prior), with the help of the debuting Big Daddy Cool (Kevin Nash), recently signed from WCW after a near legendary string of failed gimmicks. Vince will find the right one for him. Crush was still on the cusp of a big time push so he's not as an unlikely challenger as he might seem looking back on it. Crush runs Shawn over with a shoulderblock that Shawn fish flop sells all the way to the floor. After some speed Shawn hits a stick and move jab. Crush ducks a superkick and dropkicks Shawn to the floor. Back in he presses Shawn up and down a while before slamming him. Savage is throwing "CRUSH COULD SLAM YOKOZUNA" down our throats over and over and over again. At this point in time, Crush was potentially in line for the Hogan 2.0 push that ultimately went to Lex Luger. Crush hits a tiltawhirl backbreaker. Diesel pulls Shawn out. Crush and Diesel stare down, and Shawn uses the distraction to sneak behind and knock Crush into the post. He hammers the back of Crush's coconut into the post multiple times. Commentary acts like he's borderline dead. Shawn deadlifts him back in and covers. Crush kicks out! Shawn locks in a front facelock. Crush powers out, throwing Shawn across the ring. He lifts Shawn and drops him on the top rope and Shawn falls to the floor. Shawn goes up top but Crush dodges the dive. Backbreaker for 2. Crush with a big boot/legdrop combo for 2 (I wonder where that came from.....). Shawn gets clotheslined out again. Doink, who Crush was still feuding with, comes to ringside. Along with Doink 2 mirroring him. On the distraction Shawn superkicks Crush in the back of the head and gets the pin. After the bell Crush chases the Doinks to the back. Bit of a crap finish, but a perfectly acceptable match. **1/2

 

King of the Ring Finals: Bret "Hitman" Hart def Bam Bam Bigelow in 18:11- Bret's still limping a bit as he comes to the ring. He dodges a Bigelow charge right after the bell. Slugfest. Bigelow goes for a press slam, but Bret falls on top of him for a 2 count. He presses Bret again and drops him all the way to the floor! Back in Bigelow targets the back with falling headbutts and clubbing blows. Big back suplexes. Bret tries a comeback but it's cut off with a corner whip and huge corner bump. Another diving headbutt for 2. Bear hug. It's a high leverage bear hug and Bigelow walks around the ring while holding Bret. No rest hold here. Bret fights out but Bigelow hits another back suplex for 2 and throws Bret outside. Bret reverses a whip on the floor and Bigelow goes hard into the guardrail. Bigelow catches Bret as he tries a dive off the apron and posts his back. Slam on the floor. Luna Vachon randomly comes out and hits Bret in the back with a chair. Bigelow gets Bret back in the ring, hits the diving headbutt off the top rope, and gets a pin. Before Fink can announce it Hebner runs in, waves the finish off, and restarts the match. It's not fully explained why but presumably it's for Luna's interference. Bigelow goes right back to the back. Bret's wobblelegged and nearly done. Another high angle bear hug. Bigelow adjusts it into a Canadian backbreaker. Bret fights out and hits Bigelow with a back suplex! He dodges a Bigelow senton. An eye rake cuts the comeback off. Bret fights fire with fire and eye rakes out of another Canadian backbreaker. He adjusts on Bigelow's back to lock in a sleeper! Bigelow snap mares out. Bret dropkicks Bigelow in the back and flips him out to the floor. Plancha! Bret clothesline off the second rope for 2. After a bulldog off the second rope he goes for the Sharpshooter but Bigelow fights out. Bret tries another back suplex, but Bigelow rolls over and falls on Bret for a 2 count. Bret gets a boot up in the corner, climbs up, and gets on Bigelow's shoulders. Victory roll! That gets the 3! Massive pop for Bret's win. Technically it's Bret's second KOTR win, as he had also won the most recent version in '91, but again, WWF was treating this as the first one. Bret remains to this day the only wrestler ever to win two KOTR tournaments. This was a tremendous come from behind story performance by Bret, with Bigelow playing his part perfectly in one of the few WWF matches where he could really showcase what he was capable of. The false ending and restart was a few pages too much in the book however. ***1/2

Bret heads over to the traditional interview stage, where Mean Gene is set up for the coronation. Before they get too far, Jerry Lawler comes out. He gets in Bret's face and says he's the only true king in the WWF, and tells Bret he might let him be a prince if he kisses his feet. Bret counters by asking why Lawler didn't have the guts to even enter the tournament and gets a "Burger King" chant going. That really sets Lawler off and he cheap shots Bret with the scepter. Lawler smashes the crown and beats Bret down some more, kicking off the feud between the two that would run off and on for several years. The show's last image is Bret laid out on the stage steps, the first time WWF has ever ended a PPV like that. It is indeed a new era.

OVERALL SHOW THOUGHTS- You book the majority of a show around Bret Hart, you're going to get quality. 3 matches in one night, average 3.66666ad infinitum stars. This was a good way to keep him in the spotlight while out of the title picture. He never should have been out of the title picture, but that's another discussion. Add in the historical significance of the Hogan/Yokozuna match (though leaving out the match quality), and you've got what's probably WWF's best show of the year.

OVERALL SHOW GRADE: B+

WrestleMania IX

Legacy Review

WrestleMania IX

April 4, 1993 from Caesar's Palace in Las Vegas

Commentary: Jim Ross (in his WWF debut), Bobby Heenan and Randy Savage

There's some interesting firsts for this year's Wrestlemania, other than JR's debut: it's the first one to be held outdoors, and it's the first WWF show not to have the traditional red, white and blue ring ropes, going for black and gold instead. The crazy over the top Roman coliseum/Las Vegas theme is all over the place, from the staging and arena dressing to everyone in the company participating in "the world's largest toga party". The show opens with a long set of introductions. The same Caesar and Cleopatra from the Rumble come out, followed by Randy Savage carried on a Roman couch and being fed grapes by "vestal virgins", and capped off by possibly the only truly entertaining part of the whole show, a very agitated Bobby Heenan riding in backwards on a camel and tumbling off.

On a personal historical note, I should mention that this is the first review I'm doing after the WWE Network's transfer to Peacock (or The 'Cock as my friends and I call it, because Vincent Kennedy McMahon loves Dicks).

WWF Intercontinental Championship: Tatanka def Shawn Michaels (c) (w/Luna Vachon) by countout in 18:13- Tatanka is still being billed as undefeated and got wins over Shawn in a non-title and a 6 man tag match to get this shot. Very New Japan. Luna is debuting as Shawn's new manager, which is an.....interesting pairing to say the least that won't last long. After Tatanka's entrance Sensational Sherri comes to ringside. Officially she's in a neutral corner, but her loyalties are clear after her face turn. Shawn takes his time getting his gear off. The ring is really badly lit for an outdoor show. Lots of intermittent shadows. Slow start once they do get going. Hammerlock & wristlock tradeoff. Tatanka powers out and Shawn bumps like hell for it. Shawn cranks a headlock, walks up the turnbuckles and flips over. He tries it again, but Tatanka stops it and turns it into a back suplex. Shawn dodges a corner charge, goes to the top rope, but Tatanka catches him midair and turns it into an armdrag! Another armdrag, a dropkick, and Shawn does the corner flip. Tatanka chops him off the apron, with Shawn doing a full 360 spin on his way to the floor. Luna and Sherri stand off as Shawn recovers. Tatanka keeps Shawn out of the ring with punches. Finally Shawn eye pokes and gets back in. He springboards to the top rope and hits a sunset flip off the top! Another speed sequence. Tatanka catches a leapfrogging Shawn and gives him an inverted atomic drop. Shawn goes for a backdrop but Tatanka catches it and DDT's him. Tatanka starts working the arm. Shawn was still nursing a hurt shoulder from the 6 man tag match going into this. Shawn goes for a clothesline. Tatanka no sells it and Shawn hurts his arm instead. Shawn's shoulder gets posted and he does the fish flop sell off the rebound. On a corner leap Tatanka catches Shawn and hits a shoulderbreaker. Top rope chop on the shoulder. He goes for another one, but Shawn superkicks him in midair! From here on the shoulder is suddenly all better. He throws Tatanka over the top and out and the women stare off again. Shawn with a diving clothesline off the apron to the floor. Back in he gets a swinging neckbreaker for 2. Shawn with a modified victory roll for 2. He gets on Tatanka's shoulders again, but Tatanka drops him with an electric chair slam and covers for a long 2 count. Shawn dodges an elbow drop and hits a double ax handle off the second rope. Tatanka starts dancing up and hits chops. Crossbody off the top for 2. Shawn gets slingshot into the post and Tatanka covers for 2. He hoists Shawn up for his Samoan Drop finisher but Shawn wiggles out and gets a roll up for 2. Shawn tries off the top again, but Tatanka catches and powerslams him! Shawn just kicks out! Shawn tights pulls Tatanka to the floor. He goes for a dive off the apron but Tatanka dodges it and Shawn splats on the floor! As he's getting back in Shawn pulls the ref out to the floor. Tatanka hits the Samoan Drop, but the ref refuses to count and calls for the bell. It's announced as a countout but could have also been a DQ. Either way it's a horrible shit finish to a pretty decent match. Shawn looked like a future main eventer while Tatanka, honestly, looked like he was barely keeping up and hitting his card placement ceiling. After the match Luna takes Sherri out and Tatanka carries her to the back. **3/4

 

The Steiner Brothers def The Headshrinkers (w/Afa) in 14:22- These teams crossed paths in WCW (with the Headshrinkers as the Samoan SWAT Team) so this is a good first WM pairing for the Steiners as WWF was rightly pushing them to the moon in a moribund tag division. A bit of history here as JR says "slobberknocker" for the first time on WWF TV. Heenan: "Isn't that what they call that waitress at the Tip Top Cafe?". Scott and Fatu start. Scott does some wrestling, followed by Fatu doing some stiffing in the corner. Shoving and big slugfest. Steinerline! Fatu 360 sells it. An eye poke gets Scott trapped in the heel corner. Rick runs in and both Steiners are thrown out. They sneak up to the top rope behind the Headshrinkers' backs and hit a double Steinerline off the top! JR gets a note that Luna has attacked Sherri again backstage. Samu stiffs the hell out of Rick. Rick counters with a Steinerline and throws Samu's head all the way to the post. Scott double underhook suplex. Samu gets a hot shot on Scott, and Fatu pulls the top rope down so Scott crashes all the way to the floor! Afa gets a kendo stick shot in and Scott's slammed on the floor as he goes Steiner in peril. Samoan headbutts. After a headbutt off the second rope Rick breaks up a pin attempt. Scott faceplants Fatu in a comeback attempt, but Fatu no sells it and hits a superkick. Headshrinker Decapitation Device, followed by the Nerve Pinch of Extreme Head Shrinkage +1. Double clothesline! Scott's tag attempt is cut off. Samu goes for a splash off the top. Scott dodges and finally gets the hot tag. Steinerline! Steinerline! Rick tries a double noggin knocker, which of course fails and both Samoans headbutt Rick. Double faceplant. The Headshrinkers set up a Doomsday Device, but Rick catches Samu in midair and powerslams him! The pin is broken up and Scott tags back in. A belly to belly suplex is countered with a superkick. Frankensteiner outta nowhere! That gets the 3. As you'd expect from these two teams it was stiff as hell and had some really cool moves, but also some moments of sloppiness and the layout with Scott in peril for so long wasn't the best. **1/2

Mean Gene is in the back with Joker Doink (the original awesome heel Matt Bourne Doink), who's desecrated the Julius Caesar statue. We get footage of Doink attacking Crush with a fake arm that was in a sling.

 

Doink the Clown def Crush in 8:28- Doink squirts Crush with his flower as he's getting in and Crush chases. Doink's slammed on the floor and posted. Back in he begs off. Crush no sells some chops and hits a neckbreaker. After some more beating Doink grabs Crush's hair and snaps his throat over the top rope. Doink with a piledriver. He comes off the top several times, with Crush getting a boot up on the last one. Coming off the second rope Crush catches Doink and powerslams him followed by a 360 clothesline. Doink tries to sneak under the ring but Crush stops him. Press slam. Crush locks on the John Harrison Skull Squeeze. Doink gets in the ropes and shoves the ref down. Ugly sequence where Crush literally positions Doink in the ring then hits him with a reverse kick. He locks the Faux Khan Skull Squeeze on again. A second Doink comes up from behind and whacks Crush with the loaded fake arm. The Doinks double team another arm shot, and Doink Prime covers for the pin. After the bell a second ref comes out and argues that there were two Doinks, but both refs look under the ring and don't see him. Because he snuck down into Little People Land. Heel Doink is a fun character, but the match moved at a glacial pace. 3/4*

Todd Pettingill makes his WM debut in the crowd, harassing a couple of Japanese photographers that repeat cliche lines I'm sure were fed to them and spouting a bunch of guff about whether the Doinks were real or "an illusion". Like it's hard two get two similarly sized guys wearing the same clown outfit and makeup.

 

Razor Ramon def Bob Backlund in 3:45- Ramon's still a heel but he's getting cheered and Backlund's booed. They'd both reverse roles before the year was up, with Backlund shifting to his awesome psycho heel persona. But that's not today. Backlund offers the Code of Honor handshake and Ramon flicks his toothpick at him. Huge "Razor" chant. Ramon tosses Backlund around a bit. Backlund speeds around and gets a couple of double leg takedowns. Ramon gets back on top and beats him down. Savage mentions that Bret Hart was knocked out by Lex Luger during the Wrestlemania brunch that morning, the latest in a string of "suspicious" knockouts by Luger's forearm. Backlund comes back and hits a butterfly suplex and huge atomic drop that Ramon sells horribly. While Backlund goes for a slam Ramon wraps up a Paul Smackage for the win. OK then. 1/2*

 

SEMI-MAIN EVENT FEUD RECAP- After being out of the ring for nearly 3 years following a legit major injury from a parasailing accident, Brutus Beefcake had his big comeback match in February on Raw against Ted DiBiase. DiBiase and IRS double teamed him, going so far to hit Beefcake in his surgically repaired face with their briefcase, an attack so heinous it even turned Jimmy Hart against them. To back up Beefcake, Hulk Hogan made his big return after being away since Wrestlemania 8 and the newly minted Mega Maniacs, with newly face turned Hart as their manager, challenged Money Inc for the tag team titles. This was a good way to get Hogan on the card while keeping him away from the world title picture and letting the new blood have the main event spotlight. Or so we thought.

 

WWF Tag Team Championship: Money Inc (c) def The Mega Maniacs (w/Jimmy Hart) by DQ in 18:27- Money Inc is the first team in history to walk into two straight WM as the defending tag champs. Beefcake is wearing a TITANIUN steel mask to protect his surgically reconstructed face, while Hogan walks in sporting a massive shiner, a legit injury that they covered up for by having Money Inc claim they paid some thugs to attack Hogan at the gym the night before. They do the now usual heel ambush, Hogan (and partner) comeback while his entrance music still plays, Hogan finishes his entrance spot. After a fair amount of stalling Beefcake and IRS start. Beefcake immediately goes in trouble as the heels double team him in their corner. DiBiase goes for a double ax handle off the second rope but hits Beefcake's mask, hurting himself and triggering a comeback. Hogan gives DiBiase mounted punches and DiBiase Flair flops. Pillar to post beating. The Mega Maniacs hit a double big boot. A clothesline sends DiBiase 360 and out. IRS comes in and promptly also gets thrown out. The heels start to take a walk like they did at WM 8. Hebner has Finkel announce that if they don't return to the ring they'll lose the titles. They run back in and reset with Hogan and DiBiase. Hogan quickly goes maniac in slight peril with lots of double team chokes by Money Inc. DiBiase slaps on the Million Dollar Dream. Savage goes into a dream of his own with a classic Botchamania rant "They're hanging from the rafters!.....If the Roman Coliseum had any rafters, which it doesn't.....They have columns! And the people are hanging from the columns!". They do the arm drop spot and Hogan comes back....then starts to go down again. He calls Beefcake in the ring. IRS also tries to come in and Hebner argues with him, allowing Beefcake to slap his sleeper on DiBiase. Hogan and DiBiase are both down. After a count there's tags on both sides. Beefcake hits a high knee and atomic drop that sends DiBiase over and out again. DiBiase whacks Beefcake in the back with the briefcase. He goes for the mask, and after a long struggle slowly gets it off, exposing Beefcake's supposedly Faberge egg fragile face to the world. After some face focused beatdown Beefcake double clotheslines both heels, but doesn't tag out. Instead he hooks IRS in the sleeper. DiBiase hits him from behind and everyone dominoes down on top of Hebner. Hogan gets tagged in and starts rolling through his usual finish sequence. He takes Beefcake's mask and nails both DiBiase and IRS with it. The faces cover both guys but Hebner's still down. Hart runs in, turns his jacket inside out, which has been conveniently and with a great deal of foresight lined with ref stripes, and counts 3. The Mega Maniacs act like they actually won and take the belts. Backup ref Danny Davis runs in and raises Money Inc's hands as winner by DQ. Two title matches, two shitty non-finishes. Afterward those gracious losers Hogan and Beefcake threaten Davis with physical violence for making the right call the bastard. Harts calms them down, then throws Davis out himself. The Mega Maniacs celebrate like they won anything. For. Ev. Er. Finally they take Money Inc's abandoned briefcase and open it, exposing some tax forms, some money, and a brick. Heenan: "You never know when you'll need a brick!". They give away the money to the crowd as they finally and mercifully leave. *1/4

Mr. Perfect perfectly botches his promo, trying to say Narcissist and having Lugerist come out instead. The whole thing degenerates to word salad and he leaves.

 

"The Narcissist" Lex Luger def Mr. Perfect in 10:56- Luger's got the women with him and they're all showing off their rear assets. Can't complain about that. His mirrors have built in pyro, which is pretty cool. Arm wringer and hammerlock exchanges to start. Perfect gets a gut shot and a kneelift. A nice speed sequence ends with a Perfect dropkick and Luger bailing. Luger gets a cheap shot over the ref in the corner. Perfect catches a kick, takes Luger's knee out and goes to work on it. Stepover toe hold. Big .8 Flair chops from Perfect. Luger reverses a corner whip and Perfect whacks his previously hurt back hard. Luger works it, ramming it into the apron and pounding on it with the suspiciously powerful forearm. Luger gets a double leg takedown in the corner and tries a rope leverage pin. The ref catches him. Powerslam for 2. Perfect sunset flip for 2. Perfect tries a sleeper. Luger backs him into the corner. Perfect counters a backdrop with a small package for 2. Luger Bret bumps and gets slingshot into the top turnbuckle. Perfect hits a missile dropkick and covers. Luger gets a foot on the rope. He goes for a backslide. Luger reverses it, gets Perfect down, and the ref counts 3 even though Perfect's legs were on the middle rope. After the bell Luger knocks Perfect out with the forearm. Why wasn't that the finish if he was going to win and do the KO shot anyway? On a different night this might have turned out pretty good. The thing about shitty shows is they tend to drag everything down. **1/2

After Perfect recovers he attacks Luger out back, but Shawn Michaels is right there and he takes Perfect out while Luger runs. You know, Shawn vs Perfect is exactly the high profile, potential show stealing match you'd like to have at, say, WRESTLEMANIA?

 

The Undertaker (w/Paul Bearer) def Giant Gonzalez (w/Harvey Wippleman) by DQ in 7:33- Taker has his famous entrance riding in on a cart with a vulture. Midring staredown. Taker no sells clubbing blows and hits throat thrusts with Gonzalez's ridiculously horrible sells. Gonzalez chokes. Taker gets on the second rope and chokes back. It's a choke fest. Gonzalez hits a blatant low blow right in front of the ref. Taker dodges a charge, wraps up Gonzalez's arm, and does the rope walk punch. Gonzalez sells it like he slipped on a patch of ice. Gonzalez gets a boot up, hits a clothesline and hiptoss. He hooks in a standing chinlock that goes on. And on. And on. Finally they do the arm drops and Taker recovery. Taker throws himself out while Gonzalez tries to make it look like he threw him. Beatdown on the floor with some stair shots for Taker. Back in Gonzalez headbutts and Taker keeps getting up. Slow slugfest with Taker getting the advantage. Wippleman gets on the apron. Taker chokes him as he throws something in the ring. Gonzalez headbutts Bearer, grabs the cloth, and smothers Taker with it. Commentary says is smells like chloroform. Taker goes out as the ref calls for the DQ. A gaggle of officials run in and Taker does the stretcher job. Gonzalez kills time in the ring until Undertaker's Dong hits and Taker comes back from the back. Diving clotheslines get Gonzalez down and he bails. This is the kind of match that makes you want to gouge your own eyes out to never risk having to watch another wrestling match ever again. It's the wrestling equivalent of Count Rugen's life draining Machine in the Pit of Despair- watching it takes years off your life and is almost as painful. This has a serious claim on the title of worst match on the history of Wrestlemania. Still, Taker goes to 3-0 at WM. MINUS FIVE STARS

And the worst part is, the WORST PART IS....they have a rematch at Summerslam.

Mean Gene recaps some of Yokozuna's path of destruction through the WWF, then has a prematch interview with Hulk Hogan because at that point there was always a main event prematch promo with Hulk Hogan. Hogan says he's 100% behind Bret for sure uh huh yeah brother.

 

WWF Championship: Yokozuna (w/Mr. Fuji) def Bret "Hitman" Hart (c) in 8:55- Yokozuna is billed as the heavy favorite with the champion the underdog. As soon as Yokozuna finishes his prematch ceremony Bret hits him with a running missile dropkick! He goes for mounted punches. Yokozuna pushes him off. Bret tries to maneuver a waistlock but Yokozuna gets out and absolutely runs him over with a shoulderblock that sends Bret outside. Yokozuna swings a foot out at Bret, but Bret dodges, grabs it and ties it up in the ropes, getting Yokozuna down! He hits some punches and an elbow off the second rope. Clotheslines stagger Yokozuna until he counters with his own clothesline. Big legdrop and beatdown. Yokozuna locks in the Nerve Pinch of Oriental Agony +2. Bret gets a boot up in the corner, gets on the second rope, and goes for what looks like should have been a bulldog but he lands on Yokozuna's back instead. Yokozuna goes down and Bret covers for 2. Yokozuna superkick. Snap mare and back to the nerve pinch. Bret dodges an avalanche and hits the bulldog this time for another 2 count. Pretty sure the repeated the spot there. Bret goes for mounted punches again. Yokozuna tries to drag him away. Bret grabs the top turnbuckle pad on the way down and it comes off. Yokozuna takes the exposed buckle shot and is down! Sharpshooter! Fuji throws salt in Bret's face, and Yokozuna covers for 3 and the title. Weak ass finish. I swear Ole Anderson is working this show. He could have at least done the Banzai Drop, even after the salt shot. Bret did the best he could, and the time constraints and finish did no one any favors. *1/2

As soon as the bell rings Hogan is in the ring arguing the finish. As he's helping Bret Fuji grabs a mic and challenges Hogan. When he gets no response, he says Yokozuna will put the title on the line RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW. Bret signals it's OK and Hogan charges in.

 

WWF Championship: Hulk Hogan def Yokozuna (c) (w/Mr. Fuji) in :22- Yokozuna grabs Hogan and Fuji loads up more salt. The ref is standing there watching it. There was no bell so I guess that means there's no rules, but how is it an official match then? Hogan dodges and Yokozuna gets the salt. Clothesline, legdrop, and done. Hulk Hogan is now a five time WWF champion. This is one of the most egregious examples of committing wrongbook in wrestling history. Hogan talked himself into another title win even though he didn't want to work full time, didn't want to be there, and was seriously waning in popularity. It would take Vince and Co nearly a year to fully fix this mistake.

OVERALL SHOW THOUGHTS- There's shit, there's bad shit, then there's rancid putrescence that could kill anyone within a 50 foot radius and should be classified as biological warfare. That's this show. This is a very clear gateway show into the horrible mid-'90s years the WWF would slog through before the first inklings of the Attitude Era in '96 started to perk things up again. Put simply: Worst. Wrestlemania. Ever.

OVERALL SHOW GRADE: F

Royal Rumble '93

Legacy Review

Royal Rumble '93

January 24, 1993 from the ARCO Arena in Sacramento, CA

Commentary: Gorrilla Monsoon and Bobby Heenan, for sadly the last time on a PPV

After having the '92 Rumble match for the vacant WWF title be such a success, this year introduces the stipulation that's made the Rumble the massive event it is every year: the winner will be the challenger for the WWF Title at Wrestlemania.

The Steiner Brothers def The Beverly Brothers in 10:34- The Steiners are making their WWF PPV debut. Unfortunately for them, WWF's tag division has atrophied to the point that the get the Beverlys here, AKA the Vanilla Heels. The Steiners get a real nice pop, proving once again that badass wrestling will get you over anywhere and across companies. In classic Heenan fashion, 10 seconds in he asks why Rick is wearing earmuffs, then goes on a diatribe on how having cauliflower ears is a sign of constant losing. Will you stop! Scott and Blake start. The first few minutes are Scott grabs a move, Blake heel 101 bitches about phantom tights or hair pulls, repeeat. Scott goes for a tiltawhirl slam but Blake can't hold his end of the deal and it only goes about halfway. Beau tags in, takes a shot at Rick on the apron, and quickly hides in the heel corner. When Rick gets in he playfully pushes Blake off the apron. Beau hits a powerslam. After a nice extended speed sequence Rick grabs Beau midair during a leapfrog and powerslams him. Scott comes in and hits a belly to belly suplex. He goes for a double underhook, but Blake runs in and clotheslines him. The Beverlys work Scott's back as he goes Steiner in peril. They choke him with the tag rope. Blake puts on a Boston crab. Scott channels some early Big Poppa Pump and starts doing pushups while in it. Beau drops an elbow on him to stop it. Scott blocks a suplex and hits his own but the Beverlys cut the tag off. Scott counters a backdrop by grabbing and hitting a double underhook suplex, then *just* leaps over to get the tag. Rick his a backdrop and a HUGE German suplex. The Beverlys try to stop his momentum...Steinerline! Steinerline! Mini-donnybrook. Scott got tagged in again somewhere in there. The Beverlys go for their finisher with Scott on Blake's shoulders, but Scott ducks the top rope clothesline and gets a roll up for 2. Frankensteiner! Good night, Beverlys. The Steiners carried this to an almost fun match. How generic were the Beverlys? I'm pretty certain I've had them backwards this whole match, but I can't be bothered to double check or fix it. **1/2

Recap of the epic Rockers breakup angle from just over a year earlier. I mean, how could anyone not know Shawn was turning heel that day in the Barber Shop. He's wearing all black! The angle wasn't immediately followed up on, partially so Janetty could sell the injuries, but also because he spent most of '92 fired from WWF and serving six months house arrest for assaulting a police officer. Wonder if they asked if he made a man disappear when he was 13. Anyway, once Janetty's legal issues were resolved WWF brought him back in the fall of '92, where he reemerged on weekly TV to attack Shawn from the crowd. He tried to hit Shawn with his mirror, but Sherri took the shot and Shawn did the scardey runaway. This played into Shawn and Sherri teasing dissension ever since the Summerslam '92 match with Rick Martel.

 

WWF Intercontinental Championship: Shawn Michaels (c) def Marty Janetty in 14:20- Sherri comes out first by herself and parks it in a neutral corner. Shawn tries to get her in the ring to disrobe him but Sherri ignores him. Shawn shoves. Janetty punches. Shawn bails. Janetty gives Shawn a face plant. Corner flip! A kneelift sends Shawn over the top rope and to the floor. Janetty flips him back in, then 360 clotheslines him back out again. Shawn's in overdrive selling mode early. TOPE SUICIDA! That move is still so new in WWF that Monsoon and Heenan barely react to it. Janetty hits a fistdrop off the top to the floor and Shawn 360 sells it. Janetty goes for it again but Shawn counters him. He hoists Janetty up and posts his shoulder. Now, small problem here. Shawn rammed Janetty's right shoulder into the post, but Janetty sells the *left* shoulder! I guess that was some serious reverb. Shawn rams the left into the post for good measure, then hits a shoulderbreaker back in the ring. They go outside again and Shawn slams Janetty on the floor. More shoulder work in the ring. Janetty's shoulder is run into the top turnbuckle. Shawn hits a double ax handle off the top to the shoulder. Janetty tries to come back. Shawn kills it with another slam on the shoulder. Wild swing from Janetty that Shawn casually ducks. Janetty starts to punch back so Shawn gives him the ol' eye poke. He comes off the second rope, but Janetty gets a boot up and Shawn does the fish flop sell. Janetty dodges a charge and Shawn posts his shoulder. Slugfest. Shawn tights pulls Janetty to the floor. He tries to suplex Janetty back in, but Janetty blocks and reverses it, suplexing Shawn from the ring to the floor! Sherri inches toward Shawn and slaps him silly! Janetty back suplexes Shawn back in the ring and bridges for a long 2 count. Corner whip and Shawn flips over the top to the floor! Stair shot. Janetty hits a powerslam. He goes for a fist drop off the top rope. Shawn anticipates it, but Janetty anticipates the counter, lands on his feet, and hits a DDT! That gets another long 2 count. Janetty ducks Shawn's superkick. Janetty superkick! Shawn just kicks out! Shawn hits a sunset flip and they do some reverses until Shawn gets slingshot into the post followed by another long 2. Ref bump! Janetty hooks Shawn and Sherri comes in to hit him with the Shoe of Pointy Justice +3, but Shawn ducks and Janetty gets it! The faces are undone by their own cheating! It's kind of poetic. Superkick! Shawn covers and it's over. Sherri runs off in distress. Now, the obvious flaw: all the emphasis on the shoulder work the middle of the match ended up going nowhere. But once they got in their groove after that, yeah, sweet ass match. ***3/4

Mean Gene tells Sherri to "DAMN IT CALM DOWN, you're hysterical!". Shawn gets in her face and Janetty tackles him from behind, triggering another brawl. This isn't over, folks.

 

Bam Bam Bigelow def The Big Boss Man in 10:10- Two big guys that can move, so this has some potential. Ironically Bigelow had just returned to WWF after long runs in Japan broken up by short US stopovers in WCW, while Boss Man was about to leave the company. Bigelow ambushes from behind and beats Boss Man down. Avalanche and trash talking. Boss Man Bret bumps and a Bigelow forearm in the back sends him to the floor. Boss Man ducks a clothesline and hits two of his own to put Bigelow down. Bigelow back suplexes out of a headlock. Boss Man dodges a falling headbutt. Boss Man charges but Bigelow backdrops him to the floor. After a long recovery (might have given Boss Man time after he whacked his back on the apron) Bigelow goes to work on the back. He puts on a reverse bear hug. Boss Man powers out but Bigelow catches him on a run and gives him a hot shot for 2. Back to the reverse bear hug. Boss Man's in it for a while before he tires to power out again. Bigelow kills it with a headbutt to the back. Boss Man ducks a wild Bigelow dive that I guess was supposed to be a crossbody. Bigelow gets a boot up in the corner and hits a clothesline. The headbutt off the top rope finishes it. Pretty disappointing. *1/4

Footage of Razor Ramon attacking Owen Hart on weekly TV to get Bret riled up.

 

WWF Championship: Bret "Hitman" Hart (c) def Razor Ramon in 17:52- Ramon flicks his toothpick at the kid that got Bret's sunglasses and Bret jumps him from behind. Slugfest. Ramon hits some knees in the corner. Bret his his usual 150 MPH corner bumps. After the second one he dodges and Ramon knees the top turnbuckle. Target acquired. Bret rolls through the knee work. Figure four! Ramon and his super long arms quickly get to the bottom rope. More knee work. Bret posts the knee. Ramon reverses a corner whip and Bret slides down gut first into the post! Freaking hell, I still don't know how Bret made all those hits look so good yet never got hurt. Ramon hits some backbreakers on the floor and posts Bret's back. Beatdown in the ring partially targeting Bret's hurt ribs. Ramon fallaway slam for 2, then he gets 2 off a Bret bump. Abdominal stretch. Bret fights it and manages to reverse. Ramon hiptosses out. Bret dodges an elbow and gets a crossbody for 2. Bret sunset flip. Ramon sits on him, but Bret reverses that for 2. Ramon locks in a bear hug and they do the arm drops. Bret bites Ramon's face to get out and backdrops him to the floor. TOPE SUICIDA! MAMMA MIA! Back in the ring Bret is pissed off, refusing to go for any wrestling holds and bombarding Ramon with punches until he finally goes down. Now he cranks up the Five Moves of Doom. After a Russian leg sweep he sells the ribs again. He goes for the Sharpshooter. Ramon quickly scrambles for the ropes. Bret gets him out and starts to hook it in. Ramon fights it and Hebner ends up getting dragged down, breaking the whole thing up. Ramon goes back to the ribs. He mounts Bret on the top turnbuckle. Bret back elbows, rolls over Ramon's back and hits a back suplex! He tries coming off the second rope but Ramon gets a boot up. He calls for and goes for the Razor's Edge. Bret fights out and turns it into a backslide for a long 2 count! Ramon wraps Bret's hands in knuckle locks and goes into humiliation mode. After a bit Bret uses the hold to leverage Ramon around and flips him over for a 2 count. While they're both down Bret locks in the Sharpshooter, rolls over and that's it. Perfectly standard Bret Hart title defense, with Ramon getting his first taste of the main event. ***1/2

Bobby Heenan leaves commentary for his big presentation. For the last few weeks he's been teasing this amazing new specimen: Narcissus. And now we are getting the big debut of Narcissus: Lex Luger! This was Luger's re-debut after the collapse of Vince's World Bodybuilding Federation. Luger poses and stares in mirrors while Heenan orgasms on the mic. Heenan and Luger both call out Heenan's former wrestler, Mr. Perfect. It's an OK if overlong segment (and was serving as the replacement for the then-traditional intermission so it needed to kill time), but it was a bit weird making Heenan the point man on this when he wasn't managing anymore.

The over the top Las Vegas theme for WM 9 cranks up early with "Caesar and Cleopatra" coming out to make a proclamation that one and all are invited to the "family entertainment capital of the world". Family? That's not what season 3 of GLOW looked like.

 

Royal Rumble

1 & 2. Ric Flair and Bob Backlund- Now this is an interesting pairing. Flair, one year removed from being the centerpiece of the greatest Rumble ever and his first WWF Title win, is making his final WWF PPV appearance until after the fall of WCW. His loss in a Loser Leaves WWF match with Perfect on Raw the night after the Rumble had already been taped. Meanwhile, Backlund, who was the main WW(W)F Champion in between the runs of Bruno Sammartino and Hulk Hogan, had come out of retirement to attempt a comeback at the ripe old age of 43. It's hilarious listening to commentary talk about him like some ancient relic. Flair is just under a year older than him! Backlund, still in his old babyface persona, offers a handshake and Flair blows it off with some Slick Ric. Flair sells Backlund's '70s offense, including a huge sell and Flair Flop off an atomic drop. Flair tries an eye poke but Backlund doesn't do anything so he does it a second time. They struggled to get on the same page multiple times.

3. Papa Shango- He pounds on Backlund. Flair sneaks in behind and eliminates Shango. Backlund goes over the top but lands on the apron. Chop exchange.

4. WWF Tag Team Champion "The Million Dollar Man" Ted DiBiase- The heels double team Backlund but he manages to hang on.

5. Brian Knobbs- Remember (I say that because until I watched Survivor Series '92 again even I forgot!) the Nastys are faces here. He takes out the heels with a double clothesline. After a double noggin knocker Flair looks like he's about to Flair Flop again but Knobbs grabs him and throws him over. Flair lands on the apron. All four guys split into pairs.

6. Virgil- DiBiase jumps him as soon as he hits the ring. Virgil slides under his legs and hits an inverted atomic drop. DiBiase dodges a Knobbs charge and Knobbs flies over and is elminated.

7. Jerry "The King" Lawler- The King of Memphis, one of the last territory megastars not to work with WWF or WCW, is finally making his big WWF in-ring debut after working as a commentator on Superstars for a couple of months. He's much more Memphis Lawler here and not the weasel chickenshit heel he'd soon become in WWF. Flair grabs and chops him. Lawler punches back. Flair rolls under the bottom rope to get some breathing room but the refs quickly usher him back in.

8. Max Moon- There's few things that scream "crappy mid '90s WWF gimmick" more than Mr. Moon. Flair tosses Moon but he skins the cat. Lawler eliminates Moon during the countdown for #9.

9. Genichiro Tenryu- He has a chop off with Flair in what would be a pretty big dream match. Flair Flop 2!

10. Mr. Perfect- Heenan freaks out on commentary as he tears right for Flair. Huge energy face off. Flair goes up top and gets slammed off. Neck snap. Flair gets an eye poke and chops to slow things down. Perfect chops back as Monsoon hypes the Loser Leaves Town match tomorrow night on Raw. You know Perfect's super cereal because he's already got a strap down. Everyone else in the ring is going about quarter speed to let Flair and Perfect take center stage.

11. Skinner- He interrupts Flair and Perfect then wanders off. Vince probably yelled at a ref to yell at him to get the hell out of the way. Perfect eliminates Flair! Heenan has a complete meltdown.

12. Koko B Ware- This is the High Energy era and Ware hikes his pajama bottoms all the way above his nipples. Skinner skins (pun unintentional) the cat, but Perfect dropkicks him out.

13. Samu- Afa literally throws him into the ring. He and Ware trade no selling headbutts. Lawler and Perfect get together to renew their classic '88 AWA World title feud.

14. The Berzerker- HUSS! HUSS! This would end up being one of Nord's last WWF matches. The match slows down for a second as everyone seems to lose their place, stop, then start going again. Perfect eliminates Lawler. DiBiase gets Perfect on the apron and tries to push him off while Lawler tries to pull him down. After a bit of struggle Perfect is eliminated and he and Lawler fight a bit on the floor. Perfect hilariously gives a resting DiBiase a casual quick chop on his way out.

15. The Undertaker- Business has picked up. Taker was hyped as a favorite in this match. Samu works him over. Backlund and Berzerker end up on the floor. Berzerker gives him a chair shot. Taker eliminates Samu. Berzerker pulls the mat of the floor and slams Backlund on the straight concrete. Taker eliminates Tenryu.

16. Terry Taylor- NOT the Red Rooster, thank goodness. I honestly forgot Taylor had a WWF run here. He was in a period where he'd bounce from WWF to WCW every year or two. Taylor and Ware fight. DiBiase sneaks up and dumps both of them. Taker choke slams and eliminates DiBiase. Taker and Berzerker are the last two in the ring as Backlund is still recovering on the floor. As Taker eliminates Berzerker to clear the ring, Giant Gonzalez makes his way to the ring in his WWF debut. Commentary wonders who, or "what", is this guy. One of the worst wrestlers you'll ever see, that's what. The body suit spray painted to look like he's naked with strategically placed fur is a disaster too. After Taker took Kamala out in their casket match, Harvey Wippleman had promised to drop a "bomb" to get revenge on Taker. Gonzalez, not an official entrant, gets in the ring and stares Taker down as the countdown for #17 runs.

17. Damien Demento- Demento comes in offscreen as the camera stays with the two giants. They go nose to nose (well, nose to chest) to highlight Gonzalez' one asset as a wrestler: he's tall. Really, really tall. Taker takes a swing but Gonzalez beats him to the (literal) punch, chops him a couple of times, and Taker goes over the top and out. But that's not enough as Gonzalez continues the beatdown on the floor. He rolls Taker back in and hits a chokeslam.

18. WWF Tag Team Champion Irwin R Schyster- Gonzalez still isn't done, posting Taker's knee multiple times. Finally a gaggle of refs and officials get him to leave. Taker tries to sit up but can't. The match resumes with IRS and Demento beating on the recovered Backlund.

19. Tatanka- Taker's still lying in the corner. Paul Bearer comes out and uses the power of the urn to get Taker to sit up and limp to the back.

20. Jerry Saggs- He uses IRS's tie to beat him up as the match starts to bog down.

21. Typhoon- This doesn't help the bad case of jobberitis the match is starting to develop.

22. Fatu- Samoan headbutts for everyone. Still a lot of random brawling with not much happening.

23. Earthquake- Quake goes after his tag partner Typhoon! Every man for himself! After a bit of fighting Typhoon hits Quake with an avalanche. Quake dodges a second one, lifts up and eliminates Typhoon, giving him an "it is what it is" look on the way out. This wasn't technically a heel turn or breakup, just the Rumble, but Quake did leave after this for a run in the WWF-partnered SWS promotion in Japan, while Typhoon would hang around for a few singles months before jumping to WCW and being the front man in the most infamous botched entrance of all time.

24. Carlos Colon- Tatanka throws Demento over but he lands on the apron. Colon eliminates Demento. Backlund fights Quake off.

25. "El Matador" Tito Santana- Backlund eliminates Fatu. He's looking pretty gassed. Unlike Flair the previous year, he's taking a lot of breaks between spots. Santana gets Backlund over but not out.

26. "The Model" Rick Martel- As always, he goes right for old tag partner Santana. Heenan even calls it before it happens! Quake eliminates IRS. Again Santana gets Backlund over but not all the way out.

27. Yokozuna- Business is here. He trades chops with Tatanka. Yokozuna eliminates Tatanka, then Colon. Quake and Yoko take center stage for a superheavyweight collision. Shoulderblock standoff.

28. "The Rocket" Owen Hart- Quake clotheslines stagger Yokozuna. Avalanche. Yokozuna dodges a second one and belly to belly suplexes Quake over the top (with some difficulty on both sides) and out.

29. Repo Man- Goes straight for Yokozuna. Bad move. A minute later Yokozuna gets on the ropes and everyone in the ring gangs up on him to try to get him out. Yokozuna fights them all off.

30. "Macho Man" Randy Savage- At least we have two guys that could realistically win in there now. Sorry Backlund, great run but you don't count. Yokozuna eliminates Santana. Owen eliminates Saggs. Owen needs two tries to skin the cat after Martel throws him over. Yokozuna eliminates Owen. Savage eliminates Repo.

FINAL FOUR: Backlund, Martel, Yokozuna and Savage. Martel spends a lot of time trying to lift Backlund, finally gets him up and slowly tries to get him over. Backlund fights out, lifts Martel up in a suplex but places him on the top rope, and knocks him off to eliminate him! Then Backlund tries to go after Yokozuna. A couple of dropkicks stagger him. Backlund charges, but Yokozuna eliminates him. We're down to Yokozuna and Savage. Yokozuna beats him down for a while, not even trying for an elimination. After a long choke Savage goes into desperation comeback mode. Clotheslines stagger Yokozuna. Double ax handle off the top. A second one gets Yokozuna to one knee. Yokozuna comes back with a superkick and belly to belly suplex. Legdrop. Avalanche! Savage dodges a second one and Yokozuna goes down for the first time in his WWF career! Savage elbow! But for some insane, lunatic, whacked out reason he covers Yokozuna to pin him! Yokozuna presses Savage over the top rope and out to eliminate him and win the Royal Rumble! Yokouna is going to Wrestlemania!

This was another Rumble that was really good for the first half and bogged down in the second. The Taker/Giant Gonzalez stuff went on a bit too long but got the point across, especially since it was really the first time anyone's ever gotten the better of Taker in his WWF career. The less said about the matches that followed the better (which I am dreading watching again to review). The Yokozuna/Savage mini-match at the end was also pretty fun. I'm a sucker for long mini-match final two showdowns in Rumbles. So overall, good, not great. ***1/4

OVERALL SHOW THOUGHTS: Two really good title matches (with Shawn and Bret, of course) and a solid Rumble get 1993 off to a decent start. Unfortunately, the Worst Wrestlemania Ever is looming on the horizon.....

OVERALL SHOW GRADE: B

WrestleMania VIII

 

Legacy Review

WrestleMania VIII

April 5, 1992 from the Hoosier Dome in Indianapolis, IN (the last large stadium WM until X7)

Commentary: Gorilla Monsoon and Bobby Heenan

It's the first Double Main Event Wrestlemania! After originally scheduling the Hogan vs Flair dream match everyone knew was coming after Flair signed with WWF, they changed course and paired Hogan up with Sid Justice and moved Randy Savage over to challenge Flair for the WWF title, cutting his blood feud with Jake Roberts short. A lot of people are still unhappy about that, but to me instead of getting the two biggest stars of the '80s, we got the two best wrestlers of the '80s in a match for the WWF title at Wrestlemania, and I'll take that tradeoff. They also tried to drive the buyrate up by heavily teasing that this could possibly be Hogan's "farewell match". Yeah, and Roddy Piper retired after WM 3.

This is the last of the three WMs that have what I consider to be the best WM theme music ever. Reba McEntire opens and shockingly sings the National Anthem instead of America the Beautiful. Bobby Heenan gives us the classic "That's Tito's sister! It's Arriba McEntire! WOOOOOOO!".

Shawn Michaels (w/Sensational Sherri) def "El Matador" Tito Santana in 10:38- This is Shawn's PPV singles coming out party after showing Marty Janetty how bad he wanted to kiss that barber shop window. Santana's late career conversion to El Matador was a prime example of Vince's early/mid '90s crazy gimmick obsession. Stalling start. After some shoving and speed Santana hits a crossbody for 2. More shoving. Shawn tries to push out of a headlock but Santana holds on. Shawn sees a punch coming and grabs the rope to slam the brakes, but Santana clotheslines him 360 and out. While Shawn's on the apron Santana grabs another headlock and drags Shawn back in over the top rope. Shawn hits a couple of leapfrogs on corner whips, with Santana anticipating the second and going back to the headlock. Shawn tries some rollover pin attempts. Santana counters a Shawn backdrop attempt into a small package for 2. They get running again and Shawn uses momentum to send Santana to the floor. Sherri lurks but shockingly doesn't get involved. Back in Shawn hits a .3 tiltawhirl backbreaker for 2. Don't think that happened the way it was supposed to. Superkick! Shawn goes for the side suplex that was his original finisher but Santana punches out. Flying quesalupa! (hat tip to my good friend, former podcast partner and Taco Bell aficionado Cody Kahne for that one) Shawn rolls to the floor. Santana follows and gives him a stair shot. Santana with a slingshot tackle! Kneelift, ricochet into the top turnbuckle, and inverted atomic drop and now Shawn's putting on the selling clinic. Santana hits his new El Paso De whatever finisher but Shawn rolls out again. Santana scoops him up off the apron to slam him, but Shawn grabs the top rope and falls on top of him (Sherri might have also grabbed a boot, it's hard to tell from the angle) and gets the 3 count. This wasn't at the pace you'd expect from these two, it came in starts and stops and had some moments of sloppiness, but was still a serviceable opener. **1/2

Mean Gene is on the interview stage for surprise guests, the returning Legion of Doom, who had been away a few months, and the very returning Paul Ellering in his WWF debut. They give a great old school Road Warriors promo full of promise, including the killer Hawk line "You know what we've been? We've been a runaway train. Nobody driving it. Scary, huh? Yeah. Scarier now. Look who's driving the train!". Unfortunately, this would all be undone in weeks in typical early '90s WWF fashion by a ventriloquist dummy named Rocco. Don't ask.

The Undertaker (w/Paul Bearer) def Jake "The Snake" Roberts in 6:36- These guys teamed up to torment first the Ultimate Warrior, then Savage after Warrior's post-Summerslam disappearance, but after Savage got moved to the title match Taker turned face (he was getting a lot of cheers anyway) and replaced him in this match to put a bow on the whole thing. Roberts is sans reptile by order of President Tunney. Lots of stick and move from Roberts to start with slow stalking by Taker. A punch sends Taker 360 to the floor and he lands on his feet. He drags Roberts out and posts him. As Taker's getting back in Roberts hits him with a kneelift. Taker no sells a corner whip, reverses, and rolls through the usual slow zombie Taker throat shots, corner whips and chokes. He hits the leaping clothesline. Roberts slips out of a slam and hits a DDT outta nowhere! But he doesn't cover. Taker does the zombie situp. Roberts hits the short clothesline and another DDT! Again no cover. He goes out after Paul Bearer instead. Taker grabs him from behind and tombstones him on the floor! He's dead, Jim. Taker rolls Roberts' carcass back in the ring and good night. Taker goes to 2-0 at WM. The match likely would have been better with reversed roles, but long term wise both guys were where they should be. This would be Roberts' last match in WWF before taking some time off and heading to WCW for a short and hugely disappointing run later in the year, "highlighted" by his disaster of a match with Sting at Halloween Havoc. Meanwhile, Taker would move on to one of the longest runs of awful feuds (match quality wise) in wrestling history. 3/4*

 

Mean Gene is in the back with Hart and Piper for an all-time classic promo. This was a very modern style feud, throwing normal face/heel associations out the window and just having two guys that both happened to be faces fighting over the title, and both showing willingness to cross the line and do whatever it took to keep or regain it, which plays perfectly into the match.

WWF Intercontinental Championship: Bret "Hitman" Hart def "Rowdy" Roddy Piper (c) in 13:51-  Piper is all business heading to the ring. Nose to nose before the bell. They trade armdrags out of lockups, feeling each other out. Piper gets a takedown and does some mat wrestling. Bret leverages him through the ropes to the floor. Piper jumps back in pissed off, shoves Bret and spits on him! Test of strength. Piper breaks out into an arm wringer but Bret reverses it. Piper chops, gives Bret a buckle shot and spins him around but can't get out. Bret hits a dropkick, but hurts his shoulder on the way down. The ref stops Piper to check, but it's a RUSE. When Piper gets close Bret wraps him up in a small package for 2! Now Piper's really pissed and slaps Bret. Jawing. Bret goes for a crossbody. Piper catches him, but the momentum sends them both slowly flopping over the top and to the floor. All these years, I've never been 100% sure if that was planned or a happy accident. Bret backs off a bit and Piper invites him back into the ring. Bret gets a clean entry and things might be cooling down....until Piper tells Bret he has a boot untied and UNLOADS a straight right on him. Bret gets busted open. Piper with a bulldog for 2. He keeps working the cut. Kneelift. Bret gets a sunset flip for 2. Piper hits rapid fire jabs for a long 2 count. Bret comeback and slugfest. A running forearm sends Piper outside again. He runs back in and they hit a double clothesline! Piper's the first one up and he slowly climbs the top rope, not a usual place for him. But Bret was playing possum again, leaps up and crotches him! Five Moves of Doom! Bret goes for the Sharpshooter but Piper blocks it. Bret drops an elbow on him. He goes up to the second rope for another elbow but Piper gets a boot up. Slugfest on knees. Bret hits a headbutt. Piper pushes him, but Bret runs into the ref! They both go to the floor and Piper gives Bret a stair shot. Piper rolls Bret back in, detours and picks up the ring bell. He brings it into the ring, teases uses it and is egged on by Heenan. "Waffle him with it! What the hell, use the bell! Hit him! Give it to me, I'll hit him!" Piper realizes he's going to far and throws the bell away. Sleeper! Bret climbs up the corner, falls back, and gets the pin and the title! After the match Piper teases heelishness but eventually gives Bret the belt and they leave together. Absolutely amazing match, the best of Piper's career. Lots of guys had their best match with Bret Hart. ****1/2

 

Lex Luger makes his WWF debut in a remote interview from his home. He was coming in to be the cornerstone and big star of Vince's short-lived World Bodybuilding Federation. By '93 the WBF would be dead and Luger would be wrestling again.

The Big Boss Man, Hacksaw Jim Duggan. Sgt. Slaughter and Virgil def The Nasty Boys, Repo Man and The Mountie (w/Jimmy Hart) in 6:33-  This year had the shortest WM card since the first one so this is the "get a bunch of random midcarders a PPV payday" match. Virgil's wearing a basketball style faceguard for a broken nose that I can't remember if it was legit or not. Vince might have just thought the faceguard looked cool. Family Feud host Ray Combs guest ring announces, hitting the heels with some OKish jokes before the Nastys turn into Bad Luck Fale and run him off. We're donnybrooking! The faces take charge and hit a quadruple clothesline. Repo comes in to get beat around a bit and the heels regroup. Heenan has a very important announcement: "Shawn Michaels has left the building!". Monsoon is not impressed. Reset with Duggan and Saggs. Saggs manipulates Duggan to play to the crowd then hits him from behind. Duggan hits some big clotheslines and atomic drops Saggs into the face corner. Slaughter and Knobbs do some back and forth. Boss Man hits big helicopter uppercuts. Knobbs dodges a charge and Boss Man crashes hard in the corner. Boss Man and Repo do some back and forth. Repo gets crotched. Virgil hits a crossbody off the top. Knobbs breaks up the pin and Virgil is face in peril. Saggs pumphandle slam for 2. The Mountie jumps into a Boss Man spinebuster and everyone runs in. DONNYBROOK! Saggs tries to hit Virgil with the face guard but Knobbs gets it instead, and Virgil covers for the pin. Not much cohesion here, but it was a pacey and mostly inoffensive spotfest. **

SEMI-MAIN EVENT FEUD RECAP- WWF used some clever long term booking maneuvering to get the WWF title on Flair without having a straight match with Hogan. Two late '91 Hogan/Undertaker PPV title matches were marred with outside interference (usually Flair), so Jack Tunney held the belt up and said whoever won the '92 Royal Rumble would be the undisputed champion. That match was, of course, won by Flair from the #3 spot in the greatest Rumble match of all time. When Flair's opponent changed from Hogan to Savage they had to throw together a feud on the fly. Fortunately, it's Flair and Savage and the answer was obvious: Flair claimed Elizabeth was riding Space Mountain before she ever met Savage. Flair and Perfect even went so far to promise to post photos of Elizabeth on the jumbotrons in the stadium after winning. Artistic photos, tastefully done. You can barely see the staple holes in the stomach. Cue Savage's usual jealous rage, and it leaps from thrown together to classic feud.

WWF Championship: "Macho Man" Randy Savage def Ric Flair (w/Mr. Perfect) (c) in 18:04- Savage flips his jacket and hat off and goes right for Flair. Brawl on the entrance aisle! Perfect pulls Savage off Flair and drags him back to ringside. Back in, Flair hits the first chop. Savage counters with a clothesline and a knee to the back sends Flair into the corner. Pillar to post beating. Savage charges. Flair counters with a backdrop that sends Savage a mile high over the top rope and to the floor. Flair goes to work in his playground, ramming Savage's back into the ring apron. Flair chops and the big delayed suplex. Flair goes into beatdown mode. Kneedrop. They go back outside and Savage gets rammed into the apron again. Flair suplexes him back in for 2. Flair goes after Hebner like he's Tommy Young. After a bit more beatdown Savage starts to punch back in the corner. Flair tries to pin him down and chop, but Savage keeps coming back. He counters a Flair backdrop into a neckbreaker. Heenan starts panicking. Flair gets wobblelegged off punches but gets an eye poke in. He goes up top and as usual gets slammed off. Savage gave it some extra Wrestlemania world title match oomph by getting up on the bottom rope before throwing Flair. It's the little things. Savage hits some clotheslines and Flair begs off. Flair Flip! He gets across and comes off the top rope, but Savage counters and covers for a *long* 2 count! The crowd really bit on that. Flair gets clotheslined 360 and out. Savage double ax handle from the top to the floor. Flair bounces off the guardrail, blades and we've got a classic Ric Flair crimson mask going. Stair shot, posted, Flair Flop! Savage suplexes Flair on the floor! Double ax handle off the top in the ring for another long 2 count that got the crowd again. Slam, Savage goes up top....SAVAGE ELBOW! It's all over! He covers, but MR. PERFECT PULLS HIM OFF FLAIR THAT SON OF A BITCH! Savage chases Perfect around and through the ring. While Hebner's trying to separate them Perfect tosses Flair some knucks. Flair waffles Savage with them and covers. Savage kicks out! While Flair has Hebner distracted Perfect grabs a chair and nails Savage in the knee with it. Make sure you've got your homework kids, we're going to school! Elizabeth makes her way to the ring, with WWF officials (including young Shane McMahon) trying to stop her. Flair rolls through the knee work, hits a kneebreaker and slaps on the figure four. Savage fights it while Elizabeth cheers him on and refuses to leave. Flair slaps Savage but he keeps fighting....fighting....and reverses! Flair lets it go. He goes for a slam, but Savage reverses it into a small package for 2! He knows he's knee's gone, he's doing whatever he can to try to win. Flair props Savage up in the corner closest to Elizabeth, says "It's for you, baby!" and pummels Savage with chops. Another kneebreaker. Flair keeps hold of the leg, but Savage blocks a punch, spins Flair around, rolls him up with a very obvious handful of trunks and gets the pin and the title! MASSIVE, EXPLOSIVE pop! That was a roof buster. The crowd started out lukewarm, but by the end they were eating every last bit of it up. Savage continues selling the knee as he's awarded the belt and Elizabeth celebrates with him. Flair breaks it up, asks Elizabeth "What about me?" and kisses her! You thought Savage was mad before? No. He TEARS into Flair, trying to murder the man. The officials eventually get them separated. Savage continued selling the knee the whole time. This remains one of my absolute favorite matches of all time. The only thing I can say against it is in the first part of the match Flair was trying to work more the regular WWF main event style rather than his own and it came off a little square peg/round hole (for contrast check out the home video exclusive match where he drops the title to Bret Hart, which is a 100% NWA style match in a WWF ring). But once they really got rolling the drama and intensity were off the charts and the psychology was tight, especially Savage getting desperate for a win in any way possible after his knee was destroyed. ****3/4

Intermission time in the arena means promo time on TV. Flair and Savage give dueling postmatch promos. On Flair's side, Perfect and Heenan are apoplectic and complain about the tights holding, but Flair calms them down and gives the great line "You did it once, now let's see you do it again. One time means NOTHING to my career". Savage says he just got a piece of Flair and is coming for the rest. Savage, a man ever dedicated to his craft, sells the knee the entire promo. Flair would end up keeping his promise, continuing targeting Savage's hurt knee and slowly planning retribution, eventually winning the title back in the fall. Ironically, this would also be Elizabeth's last major WWF appearance. She and Savage divorced a few months later.

Tatanka def "The Model" Rick Martel in 4:33- Tatanka had just arrived in WWF and was undefeated. Martel pounds away in the corner. Tatanka hits a hiptoss and some slams. Martel ducks a chop and goes outside to regroup. Heenan absolutely loses his shit on commentary over Flair losing with Monsoon egging him on the whole time. "Don't jump! It's a long way down." Martel posts his shoulder and Tatanka works the arm. He blocks a hiptoss. Martel counters with a .4 chokeslam and throws Tatanka out. The usual Martel back work follows. He goes up top, but Tatanka shakes the ropes and he gets crotched. Big Tatanka chops. Martel counters a backdrop. Tatanka hits a crossbody for a shock pin. Meh. *1/2

WWF Tag Team Championship: The Natural Disasters def Money Inc (c) (w/Jimmy Hart) by countout in 8:38-  The Disasters became the latest team to turn on Jimmy Hart when Hart snuck Money Inc into a title match with LOD that the Disasters were originally scheduled for, and worse they did what the Disasters hadn't done- win the titles. Earthquake and DiBiase start. No, IRS. No, DiBiase tags in. Make up your minds. Quake throws DiBiase around. Disaster clotheslines for both heels. After a double team noggin knocker the heels regroup. IRS's arm gets worked a bit. DiBiase ducks a Typhoon charge and the 'Phoon slowly works his way over the top and to the floor. IRS gives him a stair shot and Typhoon is disaster in peril. Money Inc hits double teams. IRS puts a facelock on. Typhoon powers him into the corner and they do the phantom tag spot. More double teams and a 2 count. DiBiase and Typhoon double clothesline. Tags on both sides. Quake works IRS over and the crowd almost wakes up. Donnybrook. The heels get whipped into each other. Typhoon splashes IRS and Quake loads up the Earthquake splash. Before he can hit it Hart drags IRS out, DiBiase grabs the belts and the heels walk while the Disasters stand there like a couple of loons and don't do anything to stop them. Now that's a shit finish. That's what you do in the build match, not at WM. Up until then Money Inc were carrying this to scratching borderline decent. *1/2

"The Rocket" Owen Hart def Skinner in 1:36- Owen's still in the awful New Foundation oversized pajama pants and suspenders. When he backflips into the ring Skinner spits chewing tobacco in his face. Disgusting. Skinner literally controls the entire match, not letting Owen do a thing, until Owen skins the cat and get a shock roll up to win. Next. DUD

 

MAIN EVENT FEUD RECAP- Hogan and Sid had been circling each other ever since Sid debuted in WWF in mid-'91 and was the guest ref for the Summerslam main event. Sid eliminated Hogan in the Rumble, costing him the title (and getting a pretty big pop for doing it, Hogan's act was getting very stale by this time). Ever the gracious loser, Hogan helped Flair eliminate Sid out of spite and the two had a mid-ring standoff after the match. Sid's heel turn really started when Hogan was declared the challenger for WM, going off on a jealous fit. It was solidified on the pre-WM Saturday Night's Main Event, when he abandoned Hogan to die in a tag match. After turning Sid started carting out ambulance loads of jobbers on stretchers to get him over as a monster and his powerbomb over as a super finisher. Meanwhile, Hogan took up a whole episode of Prime Time Wrestling dedicated to his career highlights and didn't give a straight answer on whether he was retiring or not.

Hulk Hogan def Sid Justice (w/Harvey Whippleman) by DQ in 12:28- Hogan is announced at his usual 303 pounds but looks noticeably smaller due to the ongoing federal investigation into WWF's steroid use. As soon as he hits the ring Sid jumps him. Hogan comes back, punches Sid out, and clotheslines him off the apron, all while his music is still playing. Finally he does the shirt tear, the music stops and the bell rings. Sid takes his sweet time getting back in. Jawing at each other ends with a Sid knee to the gut. Slow beatdown. Hogan punches back and Sid falls to the floor again. More stalling. When he finally gets back in Sid wants a test of strength. Monsoon comes up with the name Psycho Sid, which would end up becoming Sid's real ring name a few years later. Sid gets the advantage. Hogan slowly works back up and Sid puts him down again. When Hogan gets up again Sid pushes him into the corner. Hogan reverses a whip and hits the corner clothesline. He takes a swing at Whippleman. Sid grabs a goozle and hits a chokeslam. Hogan starts the spasm selling. The crowd is mostly the usual pro Hogan, but there's definitely some people cheering Sid, just like at the Rumble. He slowly works Hogan's back a little. Hogan falls to the floor. Sid gives him a couple of shots with Whippleman's doctor bag. Back in Sid locks in the Nerve Pinch of Extreme Time Killing +4, as if this match hasn't crawled enough already. After a bit Hogan does the arm drops and comes back. Sid kills it with a side suplex. He calls for the powerbomb and hits it. Hulk Up. Punches, buckle shots, big boot, big man slam, legdrop. Hogan covers but the booked finish is running late so everyone has to improvise. Sid kicks out and Whippleman runs in, drawing the DQ. After the bell the guy that was supposed to cause the DQ but missed his cue, Papa Shango, finally comes to the ring. The heels beat Hogan down, until.....BAH GAWD THAT'S THE ULTIMATE WARRIOR'S MUSIC! Warrior makes his surprise return after being gone since Summerslam, also much smaller than he used to be. He's also got a different hairstyle, sparking the urban legend that the "original" Warrior died and this was his replacement. He and Hogan clear the ring and celebrate to end the show. Of course Hogan wouldn't fully retire yet, but he did end up taking nearly a year off, returning in early '93 for the build to WM 9. This match is one of the worst main events in WM history. I don't know if anyone's ever overpromised and underdelivered more in big matches than Sid, and Hogan didn't look very motivated either. 1/2*
 

OVERALL SHOW THOUGHTS- Definitely a tale of two halves. The first half is mind-blowing spectacular, Great American Bash '89 level stuff with two 4.5+ star title matches, a serviceable undercard and a great LOD return promo. The second half is utter trash, with no redeeming features other than Warrior's shock return and Monsoon and Heenan's continued awesomeness on commentary. Speaking of them, this and the '92 Rumble are the pinnacle of the legendary Monsoon/Heenan combo and the whole show is 100% worth watching just to listen to them. How many modern shows can you say that about?
OVERALL SHOW GRADE: B-

Clash of the Champions XI

Legacy Review

Clash of the Champions XI: Coastal Crush

June 13, 1990 from McAlister Field House on the campus of The Citadel in Charleston, SC

Commentary: Jim Ross and Bob Caudle

We're on the road to the Great American Bash and Sting finally winning the big one after his very badly timed knee injury. The famous raised ramp makes its Clash debut here. I loved seeing that again on the recent NXT Takeover. A lot of terrible ideas came out of this period of WCW, but the raised entrance ramp was not one of them.

The Southern Boys def The Fabulous Freebirds in 7:29- The Southern Boys are getting the new boy push after arriving in the company in the spring. Hayes really went to town with the eyeliner. He's also got Fantasia on his tights, a bit of foreshadowing for the group's coming expansion. The Freebirds pull the Suzuki-Gun ambush. The Boys avoid getting whipped into each other, hit double backdrops and shoulderblocks to send the Freebirds outside. Reset with Garvin and Smothers. Garvin gets a knee up in the corner and covers for 2. Hayes is whiffing pretty bad on some of his corner punches. The Freebirds try to double team but get blindsided by a HUGE Armstrong crossbody off the top. Hayes tags in and does the usual stalling and strutting. Armstrong blocks a rollup attempt. He hits a clothesline, looks lost for a second, then goes up top. Garvin punches him off the top rope from behind before he can do anything. The heels gets some near falls on Armstrong. Armstrong tries to come back but Hayes gives him a clubbing blow in the back of the head on a backdrop attempt. Hayes slowly goes up top. Armstrong throws him some punches and slams him off. Tags on both sides. Smothers rolls through the hot tag sequence and we're donnybrooking. Smothers rolls Garvin up. Hayes nails him with a clothesline to break it up. Garvin gets a knee to the face but the ref is distracted. Armstrong hits him with a headbutt off the top and Smothers covers for the upset win! Perfectly acceptable. **1/2

"Wildfire" Tommy Rich def Bam Bam Bigelow (w/Oliver Humperdink) by DQ in 3:46- Bigelow's sporting the rare sleeveless look tonight. The first half of the match is Bigelow tossing Rich around, Rich uses his quickness to get away and get some shots in that do little but piss Bigelow off, rinse and repeat. Rich tries a headbutt, but a minute later Bigelow shows him how to do that. Rich dodges an avalanche and rolls Bigelow up for barely a 1 count. After some mounted punches Bigelow picks Rich up, carries him around a bit, and hits an inverted atomic drop. Press slam. Bigelow chokes Rich, and won't break even when the ref tries to pull him off. Bigelow gets DQ'd. Humperdink eventually has to drag him off. The hell was that? Bigelow comes in, squashes Rich in 30 seconds, looks like a monster and we all move on with our lives. It's not hard, Ole. I guess maybe they were worried that might get people cheering Bigelow when they wanted him as a heel, so this was the solution? Maybe? 1/2*

We get a video package of the soon to debut Big Van Vader, using New Japan footage since he'd primarily worked in Japan to that point. After that, Gary Capetta brings out another new signee: El Gigante. He's tall. He's very very tall. Capetta tells us how tall he is with lots of numbers and fun Gigante facts to know and learn. Gigante waves to the crowd and looks tall. Capetta chats with him in Spanish for a bit and provides translation. The crowd is more polite than others might be *coughPhiladelphiacough*, but still doesn't seem to care very much.

"The Z Man" Tom Zenk and "Captain" Mike Rotunda def The Samoan SWAT Team in 5:25- This is a three quarters rematch from the last PPV, Capitol Combat (the one with Robocop, I'm legally required to mention that), with Zenk replacing Tommy Rich. This is the 2.0 version of the Samoans with the Samoan Savage replacing Samu. They do their usual ritual at the start, with the usual crowd booing stalling shenanigans. Once they finally get done Fatu dives right in with Rotunda. Good back and forth start. Savage tries to come in without tagging but the ref stops him. A Zenk slam and dropkick sends Savage to the floor and the heels regroup. Rotunda hits a crossbody on Savage. All four guys get in and Fatu hits him in the back of the head behind the ref's back. The heels pound Rotunda around a bit with some near falls. Rotunda tries to reverse a hiptoss but eats clothesline instead. He get thrown to the floor and slammed outside. Zenk gets suckered in and the SST try another double team, but Rotunda takes them both out with a double clothesline and tags. Dropkick party. Zenk makes the cardinal mistake of trying to headbutt Samoans. Why does no one ever learn? Fatu Samoan drop on Zenk. While the ref is getting Savage out Rotunda and Zenk swap without tagging and Rotunda rolls Fatu up in a super ugly small package to win. How the hell did the ref get the face legal man confused, they look nothing alike! Sadly, very badly executed finishes, especially in tag matches, is a staple of Ole Anderson's reign as head booker. Also, the randomly thrown together team not going anywhere beat the established tag team. You'd think Vince McMahon was booking this. All that aside though, the majority of the match was OK. **1/4

Mean Mark Callous (w/Paul E Dangerously) def "Flyin" Brian Pillman in 5:40- Paul E distracts Pillman and Callous takes him out from behind. Pillman leapfrogs over Callous in the corner and hits a dropkick. Callous shrugs it off and goes right back on offense. A big boot sends Pillman flying off the apron and into the guardrail! Pillman flips out of a side suplex attempt and tries a crucifix. Callous backs him into the corner. Chinlock city. Another Pillman comeback is killed with a clothesline for 2. Big Pillman chops. Callous stops that with a throat punch. A side suplex gets 2. Pillman dodges a flying elbow in the corner and hits more chops. Still not happening. Callous hits a powerslam but Pillman dodges the follow up legdrop. Callous tries to throw him out but Pillman skins the cat, goes up top and hits a missile dropkick! Paul E takes a shot. They have a miscommunication and have to redo a spot because it's the finish. Pillman tries a springboard crossbody but Callous catches him, gives him a hot shot, and the ref counts 3 even though Pillman clearly kicks out at 2. Another terribly executed finish, but the stuff before that was mostly fine. It's too bad Pillman's already doing enhancement stuff after a hot start to his WCW career, but Callous looked like a monster going into his US title match with Luger at GAB and flashed the potential that would convince Vince to pluck him away soon after. *3/4

Sting pops in for a quick word with Tony, saying the Dudes with Attitudes are keeping an eye on Flair.

NWA United States Tag Team Championship: The Rock N Roll Express def The Midnight Express (c) (w/Jim Cornette) by DQ in 12:08- Not even Ole Anderson's booking could make this suck. The Midnights were in the middle of an insane stretch where they were putting on 4+ star matches every damn PPV with whoever they were paired with. Eaton and Gibson start. Eaton does some heel ducking in the ropes and complaining about phantom rule violations to Nick Patrick. After a bit Patrick pulls Eaton aside for a word to get him to stop moaning. They go speed and Gibson hits a hiptoss and flying headscisscors. He keeps the headscissors locked in on the mat. Eaton maneuvers him into the heel corner but Gibson just squeaks out. Lane comes in firing karate kicks. Gibson counters with an enzuguri. Morton comes in and continues to be a step ahead of Lane. Morton slides under Eaton's legs and hits a dropkick and a hurricanrana! Now it's Morton's turn to barely escape the heel corner. Gibson atomic drops Lane into the heel corner and he butts heads with Eaton! More RNR running rings around the Midnights. Morton gets a rollup for 2. He tries another armdrag, but Eaton was ready this time and pokes him in the eye. He sits Morton on the top turnbuckle and sets up a superplex, but Morton slips out and gets another roll up. Lane runs in, grabs Morton by the hair and runs him into the middle turnbuckle. He gives Gibson a kick for good measure. Donnybrook! Express double backdrop on Gibson. The Express turn around and do a double rollup! The ref doesn't seem to know what to do and everyone settles down and resets. The Express hit a decapitation device like double team on Morton. Big Eaton suplex. Express neck snap/elbow drop combo. Morton dodges a charge and Eaton runs into the ringpost. Tags. Donnybrook II! Morton cactus clotheslines Eaton! Gibson puts a sleeper on Lane. Eaton recovers and hits Gibson in the back off the top rope and Lane covers. Gibson kicks out! Hell of a near fall there. The RNR double dropkick Eaton! Lane grabs the ref to stop the count. After a bit more confusion the bell rings and the match is awarded to the RNR by DQ. The end sequence was a mess yet again, but even a lower tier RNR/Midnight match is a damn good match. ***1/2

Barry Windham def Doug Furnas in 5:40- Windham had just rejoined the company to help fill the Horsemen back out after his '89 WWF run was cut short by off-field issues. Furnas is one of the long line of powerlifters turned wrestlers, but unlike others he had some spotty flippydo in his game. After some jawing Furnas runs Windham over with a shoulderblock, shocking Windham. Leapfrog, leapfrog, leapfrog, finally Windham catches him. Furnas turns it into a sunset flip for 2. Another rough shoulderblock sends Windham to the floor. Windham comes back with slaps and punches in the corner. After a corner whip Furnas jumps up to the top rope and backflips over Windham. Furnas press slam. Windham tries an inverted atomic drop off mounted punches but Furnas blocks it and hits a stiff clothesline for 2. Windham gets a knee up the the corner and gloats over finally getting Furnas down. Furnas turns a slam attempt into a powerslam for 2. Belly to belly suplex for 2. A (whiffed) dropkick sends Windham 360 over the top rope. Furnas tries to suplex him back in. Windham slips out, hits a back suplex with a bridge and puts his feet on the ropes for the cheat leverage pin. Eh. Furnas is sloppy but watchable in an amusing way (including the giant wedgie he has all match from the junior trunks he's wearing), and Windham ring generaled him to a fairly tolerable match. *3/4

NWA United States Heavyweight Champion "The Total Package" Lex Luger def Sid Vicious (w/Ole Anderson) in :26- Vicious joined the Horsemen about the same time that Windham came back, letting Ole get out of the ring and into JJ Dillon's old manager role. Luger didn't bother to bring the belt since it's a non-title match. Luger goes for Ole and Sid hits him from behind and gives him the ol' back rake. Sid goes to check on Ole, who's still in the ring, and when he turns around Luger wallops him with a clothesline and pins him. Da fuq? Is the show running long or did Sid piss in someone's cornflakes? NR

NWA World Tag Team Championship: Doom (c) (w/Teddy Long) def The Steiner Brothers in 11:19- This is the Steiners' Contractually Obligated Rematch after dropping the belts to Doom at Capitol Combat. Scott and Simmons start and go nose to nose. Scott hits the fallaway slam! Fallaway slam for Reed! Simmons Bret bumps in the corner and Scott nails him in the back of the head with a stff Steinerline. Scott/Reed shoulderblock standoff. Simmons lulls Rick in and punches him literally behind the ref. He tries a belly to belly, but Rick blocks it and hits it. Rick & Reed block each other's hiptosses. Rick ends the stalemate with a Steinerline. Rick gets a rollup for 2, then has to fight out of the heel corner. He cocks for another Steinerline, but Reed sees it and bails. Rick chases and Doom double teams him on the floor. Back in Rick 360 sells a clothesline. Reed double ax handle off the top. They sucker Scott in and throw Rick over the top and out again. Rick gets posted. Reed hits a double underhook suplex. Rick dodges a charge and Reed knees the top turnbuckle. Rick takes a chance with a double ax handle off the second rope, but it works and both sides tag. Scott hits dropkicks. Powerslam on Simmons. DONNYBROOK! Long tosses Reed an international object (called that unironically by JR because we're in that period). Scott props Simmons up and gives him a superplex! Reed pops Scott with the foreign object. Simmons covers Scott, and for some reason at the same time Rick pins Reed even though neither are legal. The ref ignores them and counts Scott down for the Doom win. Another solid match from two teams that worked well together, and didn't mind if things got a bit snug. ***1/4

"Mr. Wonderful" Paul Orndorff def NWA World Television Champion Arn Anderson in 11:39- Orndorff debuted in WCW as a face in May after having taken a couple of years off to heal longstanding injuries (Including, apparently, death, at least according to some media reports. He got better.) and quickly joined up with Sting's anti-Horsemen Dudes With Attitudes group. Before the bell Orndroff poses with the TV belt, a title he would actually end up winning in 1993. Orndroff cranks a headlock and catches Arn trying a monkey flip, raking his face with his boots. Arn tries a hiptoss but Orndorff counters into a backslide for 2. Things get heated with some shoving and punching. Orndorff gets a sleeper. Arn reverses it. Orndorff runs him into the corner to break it and covers for 2. Orndorff figure four! Arn gets to the ropes. Orndorff stays on the knee, posting it. Arn desperation World's Greatest Spinebuster outta nowhere! He works on Orndorff's back a little. Orndorff does a sunset flip and digs into his old heel playbook, pulling Arn's tights down to try and get him over. Arn punches out. The whole section opposite hard camera got the full AA there. Arn puts on an abdominal stretch and plays the rope leverage game with the ref. Orndorff ducks a punch and hits an atomic drop that sends Arn into the turnbuckles, but in the ricochet off that he and Orndorff collide and both guys are down. When they get back up Orndorff wobblelegs Arn with punches while Arn swings wildly at the air. Orndorff forearm, elbow drops and kneelift. He tries coming off the second rope but Arn gets his knees up. Arn wraps up a small package, but Orndorff reverses it and gets the win! Your usual solid but unspectacular Orndorff match. **3/4

NWA World Heavyweight Championship: The Junkyard Dog def "Nature Boy" Ric Flair (c) (w/Ole Anderson) by DQ in 6:37- They bring back the old belt and lightning graphic for Flair's introduction! Nice. To say JYD is past his prime is an understatement. I'm really not trying to be cruel here, but I'm not sure if he's going to wrestle Flair or eat him. They exchange slaps, with JYD winning. Multiple JYD pushes out of lockups. JR calls JYD "thick". Unintentional shoot comments FTW. Flair continues his mad Flair bumping. A punch sends Flair 360 over and onto the ramp, followed by the most random Flair Flop of all time. Back in JYD no sells chops and gives Flair the pillar to post beating. Flair gets an eye poke and the chops start to have some effect. JYD no sells the kneedrop. More punches and Flair Flop 2. Flair snaps JYD's throat over the top rope and steals Bob Caudle's chair from right under him. JYD no sells a chair shot to the head. Were Jim Herd and Ole Anderson watching videos of Zeus in WWF and thinking that was a fun idea to try? Flair Flip! He runs across and gets off the top rope but JYD punches him as he comes down. Ole sacrifices himself to allow Flair to get a knee in the back. Flair goes up top and gets slammed off. Finally Ole runs in for the cheap DQ. Woof. Talk about Flair wrestling himself for six minutes. And the match was so short he barely had time to get warmed up. Easily the worst major show Flair match of his peak years. *

After the bell the Horsemen run in for the beatdown. The Dudes come out and everyone does the big brawl. Sting tries to chase down Flair but Flair bails. After commercial everything's calmed down and Sting officially challenges Flair to a title match at Great American Bash. Flair runs back in as the show closes and Sting and Flair work a mini-match as the credits roll. "Call the Hotline to find out what happens folks, we're out of time!"

OVERALL SHOW THOUGHTS- Like most first half of '90 WCW shows the tag division does the heavy lifting, but there's no good to great Flair main event to salvage the rest of it on this one. The top two tag matches are worth a look, but both pairings have better ones on other shows as well.

OVERALL SHOW GRADE: C+