Saturday Night's Main Event VI

Legacy Review

Saturday Night's Main Event VI

May 3, 1986 (taped May 1) from the Providence Civic Center in Providence, RI

Commentary: Vince McMahon and Bobby Heenan

The show opens up with a shot of Damien slithering around followed by setting up all of tonight's matches. Bobby Heenan is replacing Jesse Ventura on commentary tonight.

WWF Champion Hulk Hogan and The Junkyard Dog (w/The Haiti Kid) def Terry & Hoss Funk (w/Jimmy Hart) in 13:30- Hogan's in all white again. Funk swings at JYD as soon as he gets in the ring. JYD dodges and slams. Hogan does the JYD crawling headbutts. The heels regroup. Kid messes with Hart and retreats. We settle in with Hoss & JYD. JYD blocks a slam and hits his own. Crazy Terry Funk wants to fight everyone. He posts his shoulder and falls to the floor. He chases after Kid but JYD pulls him back in. Hogan tricks the Funks into a criss cross, big boots Terry, and clotheslines Hoss. Big elbow drop on Hoss for 2. The Funks get JYD in their corner and double team. Hoss misses a charge in the corner. JYD whips Terry, and he Flair flips over Hoss! Kid gets on the apron and Hart whacks him with the branding iron. Hogan chases Hart off. JYD takes Kid to the back. Terry ends up on the timekeeper's table. Hogan suplexes Hoss for 2. Mini-donnybrook. Terry hits Hogan with the branding iron. He takes Hogan up the entrance ramp and runs him into the barricade. JYD runs out and slams Terry on the floor. Terry takes a backdrop on the floor! The Kid is back with his head bandaged up. The Funks get JYD down. Terry/JYD double clothesline. Terry misses a splash off the top rope and JYD tags. Hogan hits the legdrop and good night. The Funks throw the faces out and try to beat Kid up some more. Hogan saves him from another branding iron shot. Kid smacks Hart around while Hogan holds him down. They were going for controlled chaos, but it ended up a mess with too many moving parts all over the place. Still, at least it had more crazy Terry Funk bumping. *1/2

We go to the weigh in footage for the "Battle of the Big Boys". Bundy weighs in at a laughable 468 pounds. Eyeball test to me says no more than 350. Uncle Elmer is shoving down an Eric Cartman-sized bucket of "Uncle Elmer's Fried Pig Parts" with disgusting eating sounds badly dubbed over. He insists on being weighed with the bucket because "it's all going down there anyway". He hits a more believable 430.

 

King Kong Bundy def Uncle Elmer in 2:35- Heenan stays on commentary instead of being ringside for Bundy. I mean, it's not like they need to take Elmer seriously. Lockup and shoulderblock standoffs. Bundy works Elmer down and chokes him. Elmer fights back with punches and ass squashes in the corner. Bundy counters with an avalanche, drops an elbow, and gets the win. What you'd expect. Elmer left WWF soon after this. 1/4*

Mean Gene is in the back with Adonis and his life size cardboard standee of Orndorff. Without going into the details, let's just say Adonis is playing Goldust before Goldust.

 

"Adorable" Adrian Adonis (w/Jimmy Hart) def "Mr. Wonderful" Paul Orndorff by DQ in 12:00- Adonis is wrestling in a dress. Or "long shirt" as Heenan says. Orndorff hits a couple of armdrags. Adonis falls outside and Orndorff tries to follow, clearly wanting murder. Adonis tries to slow things down. Orndorff hooks in an abdominal stretch. Adonis takes control with an eye rake. Orndorff backdrops Adonis over the top to the floor! He pulls Hart in, picks him up, and drops him onto Adonis on the floor! Hart's having a rough night. Commercial. Back with Orndorff giving Adonis an airplane spin. Adonis grabs the top rope to get out and both guys tumble out. Hart causes distractions and Adonis gives Orndorff a shot with the megaphone. Slow Adonis offense follows. Orndorff dodges a kneedrop off the second rope but can't follow up. Adonis suplex for 2. He tries a splash off the top rope but Orndorff gets his knees up. Adonis gets tied in the ropes. Hart takes yet another shot. Orndorff rips Adonis' dress off, chokes him with it, shoves the ref away, and gets DQ'd. Meh. *1/4

Pretaped Hogan interview with Mean Gene in the empty arena before the show. They show the footage of Bundy attacking Hogan at the last SNME and Hogan says that he realized he has to fight for Hulkamania every day. Then they go to a lengthy recap/replay of the WM 2 main event. After that Hogan says his revenge hit list is Bundy, Muraco and Fuji and he's coming for all of them. They had a hard time finding Hogan a good heel foil during this period, which is why Orndorff would soon turn heel again.

 

Jake "The Snake" Roberts vs Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat never starts- Roberts is still billed as undefeated. He jumps Steamboat on the apron and gives him a couple of clotheslines. DDT on the floor! With no mats, just straight concrete. For the time, that is a massive move of near death. Roberts hoists the unconscious Steamboat into the ring and drops Damien on him. Damien shows off his wrestling performance training by wrapping around Steamboat's nose and mouth. Steamboat does the stretcher job.

After commercial, Vince says Steamboat has a "mild concussion" but will be good to go back in the ring next week! That's a hell of a Z-Pack. During the Soviet national anthem Vince says Volkoff is as good at singing as "the Soviets are at running a nuclear power plant". Burn! This was literally just days after the Chernobyl accident became public. (Side note: watch the superb HBO miniseries on Chernobyl, it's fantastic, and pleasantly honest in how it portrays the Soviet government and bureaucracy. The KGB is little more than a "circle of accountability" is a line that never fails to make me laugh.)

 

2 Out Of 3 Falls Match for the WWF Tag Team Championship: The British Bulldogs (c) (w/Capt Lou Albano) def Nikolai Volkoff and The Iron Sheik (w/Freddie Blassie) in 16:36- FIRST FALL: Volkoff charges right out of the gate. DBS dodges the charge and gets a small package for 2. Volkoff uses DBS's momentum to drop him on the top rope. Sheik hits a Saito suplex. Camel Clutch to break his back and make him humble! DBS submits.

SECOND FALL: DBS stays in peril. Sheik with the abdominal stretch to stretch his abs and make him humble! DBS hiptosses out but goes for an elbow drop and misses. Vince starts speculating if Dynamite is hurt with the usual Vince subtlety (screaming it down our throats at any opportunity). DBS gets a sunset flip on Volkoff but Sheik distracts the ref. Sheik barely gets DBS up for a gutwrench suplex. DBS gets an atomic drop for 2 but still won't tag. Midring collision. Volkoff keeps him from tagging. Vokoff slams DBS and covers but DBS has a foot on the rope. Volkoff celebrates like he won and DBS rolls him up, running him into Sheik in the process, for 3.

THIRD FALL: Vince "confirms" Dynamite has a torn meniscus in his knee, which is why DBS is working the whole match. Sheik with a Boston crab to, er, break his back more and make him humbler! DBS gets to the rope. Volkoff tries for a stack up cover with a handful of tights. DBS comes back and hits Sheik with the powerslam. Volkoff breaks the pin up. Tag to Dynamite! The heels put him in bear hugs to work his hurt knee. Sly strategery, let's see where it goes. Sheik with another gutwrench suplex. Camel Clutch to you know the drill. Donnybrook! The Bulldogs swap without tagging. DBS wraps up a Paul Smackage and the ref counts 3 even though the Bulldogs are wearing different color tights tonight and it's blindingly obvious the legal man isn't in. Nice little showcase for Davey Boy long before he'd become a singles star, and Sheik and Volkoff had their working boots on. **1/2