Clash of the Champions V

Legacy Review

Clash of the Champions V: St. Valentine's Massacre

February 15, 1989 from the Cleveland Convention Center in Cleveland, OH

Commentary: Jim Ross and Magnum TA

This is the go home show for Chi-Town Rumble, the first of several new PPVs in '89 under the new Turner regime, which is only 5 days away. They're trying something different with the lighting for entrances. It's different for the time, but comes across less as "wrestling entrance" and more like "cheap nightclub". Like the kind of place you'd expect to see Dragon Sound playing.

The Midnight Express (w/Jim Cornette) def The Russian Assassins (w/Paul Jones) in 13:14- Lane starts with, by default, RA1. I think Kevin Dunn crapped out a turd that achieved sentience and is directing this show. There's been like 6 different camera angles in the first 45 seconds and I'm not even counting the crowd cutaways. Lane breaks out the karate kicks. The Express double team RA2. Jones "threatens" to get in the ring. Like the last Clash there's a picture in picture Paul E Dangerously promo to hype up the Midnights vs Midnights rematch at Chi-Town. Paul E then walks out of the frame to join commentary. Which is a great Police Squad style gag they definitely should have done. Eaton gets backed into the heel corner and has to fight out. Jones and Cornette throws their jackets off and threaten to throw down on the floor. The match stops while the wrestlers separate them. More double teams from the Express. Cornette gets a racket shot in. The RA might have swapped without tagging, to be honest between the horrid camera cuts and angles and general crappiness of the match I stopped keeping track. Lane gets hit from behind and goes Midnight in peril. Bear hug. RA suplex for 2. Bear Hug 2: Revenge of the Bear Hug. Lane fights his arms in and hiptosses out but can't get the tag. Bear Hug 3: Stu Hart Once Wrestled A Bear. Lane tries a flippy move in the corner and misses by a mile. A comeback crossbody gets a 2 count. An RA seems to fall down while trying to put a Boston Crab on. Lane dodges the Russian Missile (double team avalanche) and tags. Eaton cleans house. Donnybrook. The rocket launcher finishes it. The Midnights had to both carry the RA and fight the crappy camera work. Needless to say, it was too much even for them. *3/4

 

"Hacksaw" Butch Reed def Steven Casey in 17:36- Thankfully someone in the back realized the last match looked like a fight scene from a Joel Schumacher Batman movie and got them to tone the camera work down a bit. Reed celebrates a clean break heel style. Casey leapfrogs a backdrop and hits a dropkick. Early long match arm work. Casey uses wrestling proficiency to keep Reed in holds. Reed stalls then uses heel 101 to keep Casey in holds. Casey's got the junior heavyweight trunks on tonight. That's way more of him than I ever needed to see. More Reed stalling before a test of strength. Reed wins that and throws Casey out. Back in Reed cranks on a double chinlock. Casey tries to power out so Reed hair pulls him into a regular chinlock. Casey comes back. Reed uses the tights to leverage him outside again and suplexes him back in for 2. While Reed's running the ropes Casey tries a dropkick, but Reed just stops and walks away from it. OK, that was funny. Back to the double chinlock. Casey runs him into the top turnbuckle. Monkey flip. Reed catches Casey on a crossbody and press slams him. The football tackle off the top rope ends it. Reed had some good intensity, but this was still way, way, way too long. *1/2

Ric Flair is out to hype up his world title match with Ricky Steamboat at Chi-Town, and he's got all the women with him. There's an escort agency in Cleveland that had a big payday this night. Flair's got on a $15,000 mink coat and $1500 custom made silk suit (1989 dollars). He calls Steamboat out and offers Bob Caudle his pick of the women. Steamboat comes out in his wrestling gear. Flair says he must be bored to death going home to the same woman every night. He tells Steamboat to do himself a favor and walk away before their match. Steamboat says he despises everything Flair stands for. Flair drops the famous line: "Why don't you go home and help the missus with the dishes? I'm going downtown!". Steamboat attacks and it's on! Steamboat rips Flair's suit off. Flair gets chops in. Steamboat chops back and pulls Flair's pants off. Flair's in only his underwear and socks but that's not stopping him! Steamboat his the crossbody off the top rope. Hiro Matsuda wraps Steamboat up and Flair gets more stiff chops in. Steamboat's chest is already red. Flair Flip! They go over the guardrail and fight into the crowd. Steamboat comes back to the ring, tries Flair's tie and jacket on for size then throws it out into the crowd. A fantastic final setup for what would become arguably the greatest trilogy of matches of all time.

 

"The Total Package" Lex Luger def The Blackmailer (w/Hiro Matsuda) in 12:53- Jack Victory, NWA/WCW one night generic masked heel extraordinaire, has done a quick costume change from Russian Assassin to Blackmailer to work his second match of the night. Matsuda is throwing this "unknown wrestler" at Luger to wear him down before his US title match against Barry Windham at Chi-Town. Luger throws Blackmailer around out of lockups. Shoulderblock standoff. 3/4 of the match consists of Luger cranking a headlock, do a couple of moves, back in the headlock. JR passes it off as strategery, Luger not wanting to give away any of his PPV game plan. Luger does that opponent dodges and he flies over the top to the floor move he loved to do back in these days when he could move. Blackmailer works the most generic of generic heel offense. Finally Luger hulks up, hits a couple of clotheslines, and finishes Blackmailer off with a superplex as a message to Windham. No matter how hard JR tried to butter this up (BBQ sauce it up?) as some epic, it sucked. 3/4*

NWA United States Tag Team Championship: The Varsity Club (c) (w/Kevin Sullivan) def The Fantastics in 13:25- This is a sort of rematch from Starrcade. The Sullivan/Williams duo defeated the Fantastics for the titles, but under Freebird rules tonight it's Williams and Rotunda defending. Rogers and Rotunda start. Rotunda (stop me if you've heard this before) stalls. He hits a couple of amateur takedowns and they do some mat wrestling. Rogers hits an armdrag and Rotunda bitches about a singlet pull. A speed sequence leads to a Rogers sorta Thesz Press for 2. Rogers and Williams clothesline each other. Rogers sells. Williams doesn't. Fantastics double dropkick. Fulton pushes Williams out of a headlock but instead of hitting the ropes Williams just falls down. He covers by turning around and wrapping Fulton up in a headlock. These guys are not on the same page at all. They have an obvious long conversation while on the mat. Almost Dolph Ziggler shouting out spots in that busted Elimination Chamber match level. Rogers sunset flips Rotunda for 2. He ducks a Williams clothesline, hits a crossbody and tags. While Fulton is hitting mounted punches on Rotunda Williams pushes him off and he drops down to the floor. Williams comes around and drops him on the rail. Williams double ax handle off the second rope for 2. The heels roll through more FIP near falls. Fulton gets knees up on a Rotunda splash but Williams cuts the tag off. Williams with a press slam and football tackle. He cinches up for the Stampede, but Fulton grabs the top rope, falls on top of Williams, and gets the tag. Donnybrook. Rogers hits a crossbody off the top but the ref's distracted. Rotunda pops him in the back of the head off the second rope and Williams covers for the pin. They had a decent recovery after a terrible start. **

 

Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat def Bob Bradley in 6:23- This is a "tune up" match for Steamboat's world title match on Monday, the NWA term for a jobber squash. Still, with it being Steamboat, Bradley gets a lot of offense in. Steamboat's chest is still red from Flair's chops. The crowd has no interest in an extended squash and chants "We want Flair!" several times. Bradley's only move seems to be a body slam. Steamboat hits about a dozen DEEP armdrags and does the chop off the top/crossbody off the top combo to finish it. *1/4

 

NWA World Television Champion Rick Steiner def Rip Morgan in 4:40- The Sheepherders left for the WWF and left Morgan holding the Kiwi flag. Morgan does a kind of tribal dance at the start. Steiner watches for a bit then bites his thigh. Steinerline! While Morgan's recovering on the outside Steiner and his hand puppet Alex have a detailed discussion of the potential economic recovery programs of the incoming George Bush administration and if "Read my lips, no new taxes" will hold up or not. Morgan tries to ram Steiner's head into the top turnbuckle. Steiner shows him how pointless that is. Steiner with a powerslam. Morgan gets a boot up in the corner and a diving reverse elbow for 2 but misses a splash off the second rope. Steinerline! Morgan grabs a bear hug. Another major tactical screw up. Steiner turns it into a huge belly to belly suplex for the win. Steiner's usual stiffness was fun at least. *1/2

Caudle is in the back with the scheduled challengers for the 6 man titles: Sting, the Junkyard Dog and Michael Hayes. Sting is crazy wild eyed coked up Sting. Hayes says the Freebirds invented 6 man tag wrestling. JYD is...JYD. They go to a convenient hidey hole to strategize. But unfortunately for them it's a hidey hole with a gate, and evil mastermind Kevin Sullivan sneaks up and locks them in! The Varsity Club charge into the ring to take their spot in the next match....

 

NWA World Six Man Tag Team Championship: The Road Warriors and Genichiro Tenryu (c) and The Varsity Club go to a double DQ in 5:53- Massive brawl start. The VC and then the champs take turns clearing the ring. We cut back and forth from the match to the scene in the back where Doug Dellinger is trying to find the right key for the lock Sullivan put on. One, there's only like three options on that key ring of his. Two, it's SULLIVAN'S LOCK. Not arena supplied. Sullivans's probably got the key in...well, never mind, I don't even want to go there. Animal kills everyone with clotheslines. Hawk tackles Sullivan. Tenryu schools Rotunda and hits an enzuguri on Williams. Williams gets Animal in the VC corner. They post his arm and go to work on it. Around this time Dellinger's found some bolt cutters and gets the faces free. After a couple more minutes they storm the ring and it's pier 6 brawling everywhere until the show closes. This was all angle, trying to snowflake the match is pretty pointless. The six man belts themselves would be mercifully and humanely put down a couple of weeks after this show. NR

OVERALL SHOW THOUGHTS: Outside the fantastic Steamboat/Flair build there's nothing on here I can recommend at all. Possibly the weakest Clash, at least until the worst of the Jim Herd years. Even the Turner camera crew and TV production staff were trying to figure out how to put this wrasslin' thing on TV even though they inherited a pretty good staff from Crockett. This was an inconspicuous start to what would ultimately turn out to be a fantastic year of wrestling.

OVERALL SHOW GRADE: D+