Summerslam '93

Legacy Review

Summerslam '93

August 30, 1993 from The Palace in Auburn Hills, MI

Commentary: Vince McMahon and Bobby Heenan

Razor Ramon def "The Million Dollar Man" Ted DiBiase in 7:32- The famous 1-2-3 Kid upset was used to turn Ramon face, and he and the Kid formed a loose tag team that harassed the former Money Inc. They're all paired off in singles matches tonight. DiBiase jumps Ramon as he gets in the ring and chops away. Ramon reverses a whip, hits a backdrop and fallaway slam, and DiBiase powders. Reset lockup. Ramon hits a series of clotheslines, the last sending DiBiase 360 and out. After getting flipped back in DiBiase begs off, but it's a RUSE as he grabs Ramon's tights and pulls him into the turnbuckles. Lots of DiBiase chokes. Backbreaker for 2. DiBiase really looks like he's lost the proverbial step. To the chinlock! The ref decides to do the arm drops with *both* of Ramon's arms. Double your tools, double your accuracy? Ramon comes back and DiBiase stops it with a knee to the gut. After a couple of setup moves DiBiase goes for the Million Dollar Dream. Ramon cuts it off with a back elbow. After a buckle shot Ramon falls to the floor. DiBiase takes a top corner pad off while he's down and of course ends up eating it himself. Razor's Edge and good night. Bleh. This was DiBiase's last WWF match as a full time wrestler. After spending the last half of the year in Japan (where he'd win the AJPW World Tag titles with Stan Hansen) he came back to WWF in '94 as a commentator and the company's new top manager. *1/2

Todd Pettingill hits on the Steiner women. The Steiners' sister calls Rick by his real name, sending waves of confusion across pre-internet wrestling fandom. Considering how the Steiner boys usually sound, the women come across as oddly normal.

 

WWF Tag Team Championship: The Steiner Brothers (c) def The Heavenly Bodies (w/Jim Cornette) in 9:28- The Bodies and Cornette do the full Midnight Express style entrance. They were here as part of WWF's new working relationship with Cornette's Smokey Mountain Wrestling. Cornette's in a neck brace because it's a heat getter. The Bodies do the Suzuki-Gun jump before the bell. Rick gets double suplexed and lands on his head (deliberately) off a double backdrop. Scott recovers and cleans house. Rick hits a Steinerline and Scott a belly to belly. After a Scott tiltawhirl slam the heels regroup. The Steiners are in matching Michigan Wolverine singlets in their home state. Reset with Scott and Pritchard. Scott hits a press slam. Rick blocks a hip toss and hits a huge Steinerline. Scott gives both heels inverted atomic drops. The Bodies use their 87th double team of the match to finally get an edge, faceplanting Scott from behind and send him Steiner in peril. Pritchard hits an enzuguri. Del Ray does a rolling senton off the apron to the floor! He follows that up by countering an attempted Scott counter into a spinny DDT. Superkick! Cover for 2. Cornette gets a racket shot in. Del Ray tries the spinny DDT again, but this time Scott counters and turns it into a Saito suplex! Pritchard takes a double underhook suplex and Scott gets the hot tag. Steinerline! Steinerline! Heenan: "Mrs. Steiner just gave her daughter a clothesline! They're all nuts!". Rick hits a bulldog off the top! Pritchard saves the pin. Cornette throws the racket in and Rick's nailed with it. Cover...and Rick kicks out! Del Ray goes for a moonsault, but Scott pushes Rick out of the way! Frankenstiener! That gets the pin. Like most Steiner WWF matches, fun but sloppy and just doesn't come together as a whole nearly as well as their WCW matches. The Bodies looked pretty damn good too. Cornette knows how to pick tag teams. ***

Vince figured out something that Jim Herd and Bill Watts WCW never could: Kevin Nash standing in the background looking super cool and saying very little just might get him over.

 

WWF Intercontinental Championship: Shawn Michaels (c) (w/Diesel) def Mr. Perfect by countout in 11:20- Both guys are going into this saying this match is to figure out who's the greatest IC champion of all the times. Cautious counterwrestling start. Shawn uses a hair pull to keep a headlock on. A crazy good long speed sequence ends with a total frak up as Shawn face plants himself after Perfect completely loses his place. Perfect transitions into arm work. He outcounters Shawn and Shawn has a hissy fit (something we're going to see a lot of in the ring the next few years, and not always worked). Perfect hits some .7 Flair chops. Shawn flips over the top rope to dodge a charging Perfect, but Perfect catches him coming off the top rope with an armdrag. He catches an attempted Shawn dropkick and slingshots him to the floor. Diesel and Perfect stand off. Perfect turns around into a superkick! Shawn goes to work on Perfect's old back injury. Hard buckle bumps from Perfect. Shawn hits a backbreaker and leaves Perfect draped on his knee. Perfect punches out. Another speed run ends with a huge Shawn sell of a Perfect dropkick. Shawn sells a kneelift by flopping all over Hebner just for the hell of it. After a blocked hiptoss Perfect goes for a backslide. Shawn flips out, but Perfect transitions it into the Perfectplex! Diesel breaks the pin up. Brawl on the floor! Shawn knocks Hebner down so Diesel can run Perfect into the post and it's a countout. After the match Diesel gives Perfect a KO punch, which was his thing at the time. Hugely disappointing considering who was in there, not to mention the crap finish. The last vestige of Perfect's momentum from his huge babyface return at Survivor Series '92 circles down the drain. It also showed that, the one great Bret Hart match aside, Perfect was likely never going to get back to his peak '90-'91 form. On the other side, Shawn and Diesel definitely looked like the Next Big Thing. **1/2

 

Irwin R Schyster def The 1-2-3 Kid in 5:44- Young 21 year old Sean Waltman (AKA Syxx and X-Pac) is finally making his PPV debut after being a heavily featured wrestler on weekly TV for months following his famous Raw upset of Razor Ramon in the spring. He's easily the smallest wrestler WWF has given a significant push to, and Rotunda, not a large guy himself, looks huge next to him. After some opening basics Kid hits a spinning heel kick for 2. Rotunda stalls (shock!). Kid gets planted on a big face first backdrop. IRS lifts him again, but Kid twists in midair and turns it into a dropkick! IRS hits a back elbow and throws Kid over the top and out. He tries to flip Kid back in, but Kid rolls through it, lands on his feet, and rolls IRS up for 2. Rotunda hooks in the Rotunda Special Abdominal Stretch and plays the rope leverage game. Kid comes back with buckle shots and kicks. Moonsault! IRS kicks out! That's the move he upset Ramon with. IRS blocks another spinning kick, but Kid hits an enzuguri for 2. On rope runs IRS nails Kid with the Write Off clothesline outta nowhere and gets the pin. Meh. Kid got his stuff in but it had too much IRS to be good. *3/4

The next match is scheduled to be Bret Hart vs Jerry Lawler for the undisputed King of the WWF crown. Bruce and Owen Hart are at ringside. After Bret's entrance Lawler comes out on crutches with massive over the top knee wrapping. He tells a wonderful heel BS story about how a little blue haired old lady (Helen Hart according to Heenan) caused a massive pileup on I-75 and wrecked Lawler's piece of shit anyway Detroit made limo that he had to crawl out of the flaming wreck of and hobble all the way to the arena on one leg. Long story short (too late), the doctors won't let him wrestle and he's SO PISSED OFF about it because he wants to kill Bret, but what can you do? Well, he gets his court jester, (still Matt Bourne) Doink the Clown as a substitute.

 

Bret "Hitman" Hart def Doink the Clown (w/Jerry Lawler) by DQ in 9:05- Doink has two buckets with him. With one he throws confetti on the ringside fans. With the other he throws water on the Hart brothers. Bret jumps him on the floor. The ref holds Bruce and Owen back. Bret clotheslines Doink 360 and out. Bruce gets a punch in. Bret uses Doink's still attached jacket for a short clothesline, then posts him. Back in Bret blocks a kick, spins Doink around, and punches him to the floor again. Doink gets some shots in from the apron, goes up top, but Bret punches him and he gets crotched. Bret holds the ropes open, inviting Lawler into the ring. A slugfest ends with a Bret headbutt. Bret's had enough of Doink and goes after Lawler. Doink attacks from behind and gives Bret a stair shot. Double ax handle off the top. Doink hits a kneebreaker, posts Bret's knee, and wraps him up in an STF. Bret slips out. Doink beats him down some more and hooks on his stump puller finisher. But he makes the mistake of trying to use some added rope leverage and the ref catches him. Doink tries coming off the top again, but Bret gets his knees up and Doink goes crotch first into them. Russian leg sweep and elbow off the second rope. Bret hooks in the Sharpshooter. Lawler gets in the ring and nails Bret with his crutch. He can walk! It's a miracle! Lawler beats Bret down with his crutches while the ref holds Bruce and Owen back. OK first act. **1/4

President Tunney comes out and orders Lawler to wrestle Bret or he'll be banned for life.

 

For the Undisputed "King of the WWF" title: Jerry "The King" Lawler def Bret "Hitman" Hart by DQ in 6:32- Bret jumps Lawler on the entrance ramp and we have a slugfest on the floor. Bret hits Lawler with Doink's bucket. Back in the ring Lawler gets a pissed off Bret Hart beatdown. Hart whacks Lawler with the crutch right in front of the ref, who channels his inner Red Shoes and lets it go. Lawler sneaks around the ring, grabs crutch pieces out of Bret's view, and nails him with it. He taunts the Hart brothers and runs away to choke Bret with more crutch pieces. Lawler suckers Owen and Bruce into distracting the ref to do more crutch assisted damage in the ring. Bret hits a blind kick to Lawler's crotch to get some breathing room. The straps are down! We're getting super cereal now and Bret goes into murder death kill mode. He mixes a piledriver into the usual Five Moves of Doom run. Sharpshooter! Lawler submits and the bell rings. But Bret refuses to break the hold. More bells. Bret still won't release. More refs come out. Bret still won't release. Now officials are running in. It's a veritable Royal Rumble of refs and officials running in, but Bret's still got the Sharpshooter on. Finally Bruce and Owen in his leather pants come in and talk Bret into letting go. Fink announces that the referee has reversed his decision and awarded the match to Lawler by DQ. As a stretcher comes out for Lawler Bret attacks him again! The 800 officials in the ring get him off. As Lawler gets on the stretcher Bruce jumps on him, but they manage to get Lawler out. Lawler holds his hand up in victory while laying on the stretcher all the way up the ramp. Absolutely tremendous old school blood feud stuff here, right out of the '80s. The only thing missing was actual blood. ***1/2

Ludvig Borga (dressed like Big Josh) wanders around a decrepit area of Detroit and throws words at Lex Luger.

 

Ludvig Borga def Marty Janetty in 5:15- Now, Borga's a guy with a interesting life resume. Legitimately from Finland, he was a boxer, MMA fighter, bodyguard, appeared on an American Gladiators-style TV show, served in the Finnish military, wrote five books, recorded music, acted in films, and was even a member of the Finnish parliament in the early aughts before committing suicide in 2010. He had a huge push as a "legit fighter" in New Japan in the early '90s, including a co-run with the IWGP Heavyweight Tag titles, before moving over to WWF, where he was planned as another top evil foreigner heel. All this is way more interesting than the match, which is an extended squash with former IC champ Janetty selling like a champ and making Bork Laser v0.4 look like a monster. Borga uses the torture rack to submit Janetty, an interesting subtle message to Luger, who used the rack as his finisher in WCW. 3/4*

 

Rest In Peace Match: The Undertaker def Giant Gonzalez (w/Harvey Wippleman) in 8:04- "Rest in Peace Match" is a fancy way of saying no countout, no DQ. These are the things I do for my readers: watch a second Undertaker/Giant Gonzalez match. I hope it's appreciated because I can think of Geneva Conventions violations less painful than this. Wippleman still has the urn. Paul Bearer has been MIA since the urn was stolen in the spring. Taker is starting to do his "lights off/raise the hands and lights come on" entrance. Taker ambushes Gonzalez and climbs the second rope to choke him. Gonzalez kicks, clubbing blows and headbutts stagger Taker. Taker gets a leaping clothesline. A Gonzalez throat thrust takes Taker down and Gonzalez throws him out. Weak slugfest on the floor. Gonzalez whacks Taker with a chair and whips him into the stairs. Taker lays on the floor a while, reaching for help. Back in Taker keeps trying to crawl to the urn but gets cut off by Gonzalez or has the urn taken away by Wippleman. Undertaker's Dong hits! It's Paul Bearer! (Brian Blessed voice) BEARER'S ALIVE! He's got a black funeral wreath with him. Wippleman takes his jacket off to fight but runs right into a Bearer punch. Bearer walks around, says "come to daddy" and takes the urn back! The reunion of the century! Overdoing it? Well, the night at least. Gonzalez stares at Bearer as he uses the Power of the Urn to get Taker to sit up. A series of clotheslines stagger Gonzalez. Taker goes up top and hits a diving clothesline that gets Gonzalez down. There's no way in hell Taker can physically tombstone him, so that's the finish. Thank God that's over. After the match Gonzalez divorces from Wippleman, No one cares. Gonzalez would mercifully be out of the company a couple of months later. It had a definitive ending and the story has it's own internal logic, so it's "better" than the WM disaster, but still an atrocious match because Gonzalez was one of the worst wrestlers there's ever been. DUD

 

Tatanka and The Smoking Gunns def Bam Bam Bigelow and The Headshrinkers (w/Luna Vachon and Afa) in 11:15- "Two cowboys and an Indian walk into a wrestling ring" sounds like a joke setup. Rumor has it this was originally going to be a Tatanka and Sherri vs Bigelow and Luna mixed tag match before Sherri left the company. The faces charge, but the heels take them out! That was different. Start proper with Bigelow and Tatanka, who's still "undefeated", which is getting kind of ridiculous at this point. Tatanka dropkicks, then backdrops Bigelow! Tatanka and Bigelow both go for crossbodys and collide! Damn! Tags on both sides. Billy/Fatu slugfest. Fatu superkick! Billy hits a reverse bulldog off the top rope. Fatu runs him over with a shoulderblock. Samu hot shots Billy into Fatu. Another superkick sends Billy into the face corner and he tags. Bart hits a crossbody for 2. Samu faceplants Bart. Bigelow with a dropkick. Samu powerslam for 2. The Headshrinkers hit a double headbutt, then Bigelow rams Bart's head into both 'Shrinkers' heads. Fatu no sells a faceplant and kills Bart with a clothesline. Bart dodges a Bigelow charge and Bigelow goes HARD into the corner. Hot tag to Tatanka. Tatanka scalps everyone. He slams Bigelow! DDT. Crossbody off the top for 2. Bigelow gets some shots in but Tatanka almost instantly goes into dancing up mode. Bigelow kills it with a leaping enzuguri! Fatu hits a diving headbutt off the second rope. DONNYBROOK! Everyone in! The heels hit a triple team avalanche and triple headbutt on Tatanka. All three go up top, but Tatanka dodges the triple diving headbutt! He rolls Samu up for the pin. Now that was a pleasant surprise. These guys took a dead spot on the card, said screw it, and went out and had a hell of a fun match. ***1/2

 

MAIN EVENT FEUD RECAP- After destroying Hulkamania at King of the Ring and winning back the WWF Championship, the gargantuan and still growing Yokozuna took part in an open Bodyslam Challenge on the deck of the USS Intrepid on the 4th of July. After several wrestlers tried and failed (including, I believe, Crush, who was originally possibly in line for this push) Lex Luger arrived in style in a helicopter and proceeded to slam the mammoth champion. Out was the Narcissist, in was the Hulk Hogan v2.0 All American. Luger chartered a bus and named it the Lex Express, crisscrossing the country and meeting with fans in a bid to get a title match. Yokozuna's new American Spokesman James E Cornette (who joined up with Yoko and Fuji after the SMW partnership started) agreed on two conditions: Luger would wear a pad over his forearm with the metal plate, and this would be a one time opportunity. If he failed, he would not get another title shot.

 

WWF Championship: "The All American" Lex Luger def Yokozuna (c) (w/Mr. Fuji and Jim Cornette) by countout in 17:58- Full pomp and circumstance for the main event, with both the Japanese and American national anthems being sung. Randy Savage continues to be Vince's gadget player in between his occasional matches, escorting singer Aaron Neville to the ring and announcing Luger's entrance. Despite all the red, white and blue out there Luger's pop is noticeably smaller than Bret's or even Taker's. Midring big match staredown after the bell. Fuji tries to sneak in behind Luger. Luger turns to stop him and Yokozuna tries to jump but Luger anticipates that too. Luger tries a waistlock and rollup. Yokozuna counters with a back elbow. Luger dodges the legdrop and gets some kicks to Yokozuna's hamstring, a sound strategy that lasts for about 23 seconds. Yokozuna tries to get out of the ring. Luger kicks the middle rope into his crotch and the big man is down. Big Luger elbow drop for 2. Yokozuna grabs Luger on a run and slams him. Luger dodges the follow up elbow drop. Corner clothesline from Luger. Yokozuna hits a throat punch. Fuji sneaks up again and Luger avoids getting a face full of salt. He tries to slam Yokozuna. No dice. Headbutts send Luger to the floor. Yokozuna squashes Luger against the post. He grabs a chair, but Luger dodges and Yokozuna whacks the post. Back in Luger hits a double ax handle off the second rope, then another off the top. Yokozuna's still standing. Luger comes off the top again with a flying forearm with the (padded) loaded forearm! Cover for a long 2. He gets a run and pops Yokozuna in the back of the head with the forearm and covers for another long 2. Zero crowd reaction to either near fall. Double clothesline. Cornette distracts the ref and Fuji tosses the salt bucket in. Yokozuna nails Luger with it, crawls over and covers. Luger just kicks out. Big Yokozuna belly to belly suplex. After a slow cover Luger again barely kicks out. Saito suplex. Another narrow Luger escape. Again, zero crowd reaction to the near falls. Yokozuna goes to the Oriental Nerve Pinch of Time Killing +3. Luger powers out, stomps on Yokozuna's bare foot, and tries another slam. Yokozuna falls on top of him for a 2 count. He hits the legdrop! Another long 2. He drags Luger to the corner to finish him. Luger dodges the Banzai Drop! Back and forth in the corner. Luger dodges an avalanche. He slams Yokozuna! Fuji takes a punch on the apron. Cornette is yelling at the ref so Luger takes the pad off his loaded forearm and nails Yokozuna with it! Yoko falls down to the floor, knocked out cold. Cornette takes a punch as Hebner counts Yokozuna out. And we get a huge celebration like Luger actually won the title. Luger celebrates. Savage comes in with the US flag. Faces run in from the locker room. Vince turns up the over the top buttering up on commentary to like level one million. Balloons and confetti stream down. I mean, excuse the language here, but what the actual fuck?! Luger wins by countout and they still do the big celebration like if he had won the title? This is another level of moronic. The only reason it's not WWF's worst booking decision of the year is the fact Wrestlemania 9 and its atrocious impromptu main event is in the same year. The match itself was honestly as good as it could have been, with Luger showing as much motivation as he had at any point since his '89-'90 peak. But holy hell what a God awful ending. This is how Luger got the reputation of the guy that can't win the big one in the WWF. *1/4

And we're not done. The Lex Express music video plays again. There's an honestly good shot of Yokozuna still unconscious on the floor buried under red white and blue balloons. Then we go to the locker room and a Luger promo, which is interrupted by Ludwig Borga as he runs down Luger and the US. End show. At least that's two straight PPVs that they're experimenting with something other than the usual ending.

OVERALL SHOW THOUGHTS- There are positives here. The whole Hart/Lawler section is really good, and the 6 man tag is one of those fun you didn't expect it surprise good matches. But you also have a massively disappointing IC title match, Undertaker vs Giant Gonzalez existing, and good lord that main event leaves a horrible taste to close out the show.

OVERALL SHOW GRADE: C-