Royal Rumble '95

Legacy Review

Royal Rumble '95

January 22, 1995 from the USF Sun Dome in Tampa, FL

Commentary: Vince McMahon and Jerry Lawler

The show opens with super guest celebrity Pamela Anderson arriving in a limo and being eagerly greeted by much of the roster. At the time Anderson was known for Playboy and Baywatch, not yet for starring in the first ever internet leaked celebrity sex tape.

WWF Intercontinental Championship: "Double J" Jeff Jarrett (w/The Roadie) def Razor Ramon (c) in 18:06- Roadie is the future Road Dogg, who had jumped to WWF a couple of months prior after bouncing around WCW as a jobber for a few years. Ramon gives Roadie the toothpick flip, giving Jarrett an opening to ambush from behind. Ramon dodges, hits a few punches and the fallaway slam. Choke slam! After some thinking time on the outside Jarrett hits an armdrag and struts. Waistlock tradeoff. Jarrett gets a takedown and celebrates again. They trade hammerlocks, ending with Jarrett getting another takedown and celebrating some more. Ramon's getting hot. Another bit of basic wrestling ends with a Ramon punch and clothesline that sends Jarrett 360 and out. After some more recovery time Jarrett offers a test of strength that Ramon easily wins and follows up with some arm work. Vince mentions Lawrence Taylor is here for the first of about a thousand times tonight. Jarrett turns the tide with a series of dropkicks. Ramon ducks an enzuguri, then Jarrett dodges an elbow drop. Ramon backslide for 2. Jarrett clothesline for 2. Ramon punches out of a sunset flip. He puts his knees down, but Jarrett reverses it for 2. A nice speed sequence ends with Jarrett hitting a swinging neckbreaker. He tries rope leverage pins but Ramon still kicks out. Ramon slides out in the corner and gives Jarrett his now regular crotch post spot. Reverse bulldog off the second rope for 2. Jarrett uses momentum to throw Ramon over the top and out, and Ramon hurt his knee on the way down. Roadie sneaks up and clips him! Ramon's down on the entrance aisle, can't get back up in time and gets counted out. Jarrett takes the mic, says no one wants to see him win that way, he wants the title, demands the match be restarted and calls Ramon a coward to goad him into doing it. Ramon limps back to the ring, ref Tim White double checks he's sure, and rings the bell to restart. Jarrett plays with Ramon dodging punches until Ramon pushes him into the corner and rolls him up for 2. Jarrett decides it's time to get serious and starts picking apart the knee. Desperation Ramon small package for 2. Jarrett hits the kneebreaker. After some more softening up he slaps the figure four on. Ramon fights and tries to reverse it but can't. He goes down for a long 2 count, then gets back up and punches Jarrett to make him break. Punchy comeback by Ramon. He hoists Jarrett up for the back superplex and manages to do it with the bum knee. Jarrett tries to roll Ramon over, but Ramon rolls through the roll through for a 2 count! Huge Ramon clothesline. He calls for the Razor's Edge and manages to get Jarrett all the way up before his knee gives out. Jarrett rolls up a Paul Smackage and gets the 3 and the title! Other than Roadie's clip on Ramon's already hurt knee, Jarrett won that clean as a sheet. I liked that. Both guys worked good, the psychology was sound, and the overbooking with the stop and restart wasn't overdone. Definitely one of Ramon's better non-intraKliq matches. ***1/4

Todd Pettingill hits on Anderson in her dressing room and gets nowhere.

 

The Undertaker (w/Paul Bearer) def Irwin R Schyster (w/Ted DiBiase) in 12:21- The Taker vs the Million Dollar Corporation saga that began with Taker vs Taker at Summerslam is now in full swing and will continue most of the year. DiBiase had been having a couple of druids with him or his wrestlers during this feud, but they're not with IRS on his entrance and Lawler wonders where they are. Immediate Rotunda stalling. The crowd gets restless for the match to get going. Finally Taker turns his back to watch Bearer take the urn outside and IRS dropkicks him in the back. No sell. IRS turns right back around and rolls out again. We're officially on Rotunda Geologic Time. He gets back in, ducks some clotheslines, and rolls out again. This time he stalks Bearer. Taker jumps out to slow chase and IRS attacks him as he gets back in the ring. Taker reverses a whip and hits a big boot. IRS is whipped hard into the corners. Vince mentions Lawrence Taylor again so something is clearly happening with him. Taker tosses IRS by the tie and hits the rope walk drop. DiBiase gets on the apron. IRS goes for Taker but hits DiBiase instead. Taker sends IRS to the floor again. IRS gets mad at DiBiase and shoves him. DiBiase tries to calm him down, then walks over and calls the two druids down to the ring. IRS is satisfied. They surround the ring. IRS tries another ambush but Taker back elbows him. He tries the rope walk again but a druid shakes the rope and he falls down. IRS counters a backdrop and clotheslines Taker out. He lands on his feet and goozles the druids. IRS hits him with a double ax handle off the apron and the druids get some shots in. Rotunda abdominal stretch. After Taker gets out IRS hits a back elbow (that looked a little accidentally stiff) and diving clothesline. Taker dodges a splash. Midring collision. DiBiase distracts the ref and a druid drags IRS on top of Taker. Taker sits up at 2. A druid gets on the apron. Taker dodges an IRS charge and IRS takes the druid out. Taker hoists IRS up for the tombstone, but still gets annoyed by the druids like a couple of mosquitoes and has to kick them away, making him drop IRS. Another IRS diving clothesline. Taker sits up, hits the chokeslam, and gets the pin. We're getting into the period where they were trying to get the chokeslam over as a new finisher. Match was meh. Again, the overbooking wasn't as awful as it could have been. It was pretty much going to suck no matter what. *1/2

After the bell the druids attack again. Taker fights them off. King Kong Bundy gets in the ring and goes nose to nose with Taker. While Taker's occupied, IRS takes Bearer out and repossesses the urn (with the lid inadvertently coming off and giving away the fact there's nothing in there). Without the urn's power Bundy easily takes Taker down. Bearer uses the power of the crowd to get him up and out of the ring.

 

WWF Championship: Bret "Hitman" Hart and Diesel (c) draw in 27:19- Diesel gets his super cool truck driving into camera and glass shattering entrance. Not much of a pop, though. Crowd feels about 70/30 pro Bret. Diesel says hi to Lawrence Taylor at ringside, the first time he's been on camera even though he's been mentioned all night. This is face vs face so we have a Code of Honor fistbump to start. It counts. Both guys have promised to do whatever they need to do to win, an angle Bret consistently got in all his face/face feuds that gives the match a nice edge. Diesel wins the first lockup. Bret tries a go behind waistlock and takedown. Diesel gets in the ropes. Bret gets chippy early and shoves Diesel while he's trying to get up. Slugfest! Diesel wins that. After some back and forth Bret gets clotheslined 360 and out. More slugfest on the apron and Bret falls to the floor again. He grabs Diesel's leg, drags him down, and posts his knee! Bret spends the next few minutes working the knee and hamstring, then slaps on the figure four! Diesel slowly gets to the ropes. Bret takes his time letting go, then repositions Diesel and slaps it on again. Diesel tries to crawl to the ropes, goes down, then just barely reaches out to grab it. Again Bret is slow to release. Diesel goes to the floor. TOPE SUICIDA! MAMA MIA! They positioned that well, at the end of the entrance ramp so there was room to really go for it. Diesel reverses a whip and Bret crashes into the steps. Back in, vintage Kevin Nash corner elbows. Side suplex for 2. Diesel does a decent job still selling the leg. Bret tries to fight back so Diesel gives him an eye rake. Canadian backbreaker! Bret powers out and rolls over to slap on a sleeper. Diesel quickly snap mares out. Diesel big boot. Bret gets a boot up in the corner and hits a clothesline off the second rope. He goes up top, but Diesel grabs him and presses him...until his knee gives out. Bret falls on top of him for a 2 count. Bret goes to the floor and grabs Diesel's leg again. He takes off his wrist tape and ties Diesel's legs around the ring post! Somewhere in Japan, young Toru Yano is taking notes. Bret stomps away while Hebner gets Diesel free. A bulldog kicks off the Five Moves of Doom run. Now it's Diesel's turn to get clotheslined 360 and out. Bret with a plancha! But Diesel catches him and posts his back! Now Diesel has a hurt knee and Bret has hurt ribs. Back in Diesel calls for the jackknife to a fair amount of boos. He hits it! Cover. Shawn Michaels runs in and breaks the pin up! He does more damage on Diesel's hurt knee before Hebner runs him off. Hebner consults with Fink, who announces per the referee this match MUST CONTINUE. Bret kicks the knee out again and hooks the figure four back on. Diesel punches Bret's sore ribs to get out. Bret twists Diesel's leg around the rope and pulls, then posts the knee again. He grabs a chair and whacks Diesel's knee with it. Hebner is doing his best Red Shoes impression letting literally anything go. The crowd finally starts booing Bret after heeling it up so much, but they immediately cheer again when Bret hooks in the Sharpshooter. Now Owen Hart runs in and breaks that up. He takes a turnbuckle pad off and RUNS Bret into it chest first! Hebner chases him out, goes over to Fink, and again this match must continue. Diesel slowly crawls over and covers. Bret kicks out! Diesel takes a shot into the exposed buckle. Lots of punches from Bret but Diesel won't go down. Finally he does, but pops right back up swinging forearms. Bret collapses and gets tied up in the ropes, dangling over the floor. Diesel gets a chair, but Bret gets free and Diesel lets it go. Bret feigns a hurt knee in the middle of the ring. Everyone but Diesel knows what's coming. Small package! Diesel kicks out. Bret tries a roll up and they run over Hebner. The floodgates from the locker room open. Shawn. Owen. Bob Backlund. Jeff Jarrett. The Roadie. Hebner finally calls for the bell while all the suits from backstage run in to try to restore order. Fink announces that because of the ref's inability to control the match, it's a draw. Very unpopular decision. Gee Hebner, think maybe you should have pulled the plug at the first sign this whole thing was going to collapse into chaos? Backlund puts Bret in the crossface chickenwing and WE'RE GOING BACK IN THE PILE EVERYONE! This time Diesel fights everyone off and saves Bret. Diesel and Bret have a short standoff, then handshake and hug it out. So that's two for two on PPV title matches between these two with a screwy non-finish, and three for three for matches tonight with some kind of shenanigans. The two guys in the ring did their job superbly, but the overbooking held this to just being really good instead of great. ***3/4

 

Back in the hijinks dressing room, Pamela Anderson wears a body stocking behind a screen pretending to be naked while Pettingill acts like a 15 year old that's never been alone with a woman before.

 

Tournament Final for the Vacant WWF Tag Team Championship: The 1-2-3 Kid and Bob "Spark Plugg" Holly def Tatanka and Bam Bam Bigelow (w/Ted DiBiase) in 15:32- This is to fill the tag titles after Shawn and Diesel vacated them due to their divorce. Kid and Holly weren't originally in the tournament. They replaced the Smokin' Gunns after Bart got hurt in a "rodeo accident". He's already recovered and the Gunns are set to challenge the winner for the titles on Raw the next night. Holly and Tatanka start. Tatanka throws Holly around and legit badly whiffs on a chop. Holly counters with a tiltawhirl flying headscissors! Tatanka backs off and Bigelow wants in. He charges but Holly drops him with a drop toe hold. The faces try to double team but Bigelow kills them both with a double clothesline. He literally throws Kid across the ring. Bigelow goes for a pop up powerbomb, but in midair Kid flips him with a hurricanrana! Bigelow hits an enzuguri for 2. Bigelow charges. Kid backdrops him over the top rope to the floor! He sets up a plancha, but Tatanka hits him from behind. Kid flips over and dropkicks Tatanka into Bigelow! Both faces go to the top rope, but both are caught in midair by the heels. They try to throw them, but the faces counter by pushing the heels into each other. Holly rolls Tatanka up for 2. Bigelow pulls the top rope down and Holly crashes to the floor on a rope run. Kid is pissed, and while the ref's getting him out Bigelow posts Holly. Holly is officially racer in peril. Tatanka hits a powerslam. Kid tries to break the pin up, but Tatanka dodges and Kid lands on Holly instead. The heels go for a double team. Holly dodges and Tatanka chops Bigelow off the top rope. Holly goes for the tag, but Tatanka taunts Kid out of his corner and when Holly gets there no one's home. Bigelow squashes Holly from behind. You know, I know he's young, but out of all the guys in this match Kid is the only one that's had a WWF tag title before. You'd think he'd be better at this. (Yes, Bigelow's a former IWGP tag champ but we all know that doesn't count in Vinceland) Bigelow hits another enzuguri for 2. Holly's completely dazed and confused, crawls into the heel corner and tags Tatanka. Kid runs in again, allowing more heel double teams. Tatanka rams Holly's head into Bigelow's. After some very obvious spot communication by Tatanka they do the dual crossbody spot! Tags on both sides. Kid hits Bigelow with a missile dropkick. Cannonball plancha on Tatanka! He gives Bigelow a crossbody off the top but Tatanka breaks it up. Donnybrook! Bigelow press slams Kid to the floor! He gets Kid back in and sets up for the moonsault, but dumbass Tatanka hits the ropes at the same time and Bigelow falls to the mat! Holly takes Tatanka out, and Kid very slooooooooooowly crawls over, drapes an arm over Bigelow, and gets the pin! Fun stuff. The underdog title reign would only last a day, as the Gunns would win the titles they were originally scheduled to win before the injury on Raw the following night. ***1/2

Tatanka and DiBiase leave Bigelow lying in the ring. When he gets back up he soaks up the crowd's taunts and yells to not laugh at him. Eventually he works his way to......Lawrence Taylor. Bigelow thinks Taylor is laughing at him and wants him to stand up. Taylor does and offers a handshake. Bigelow shoves him! Taylor pops up and looks like he's ready to murder a QB. After some highlights from the '94 Rumble Vince apologizes to us for what happened and to LT personally, all the while seeing dollar signs in his eyes.

 

Royal Rumble

 

Pamela Anderson is brought out before we get things started. She'll be escorting the Rumble winner to the ring at Wrestlemania. Fink doesn't announce it but this is the first and thankfully to date only Rumble to cut the entrance interval down to a scant 60 seconds. The reason for that will be very clear at the end. Then whoever cues up the music steals Fink's thunder by starting Shawn's music before Fink says "Let's find out who drew #1".

1 & 2. "The Heartbreak Kid" Shawn Michaels and "The British Bulldog" Davey Boy Smith- Shawn jumps Bulldog as soon as he gets in the ring. Bulldog with a big backdrop and press slam. Shawn does the corner flip but lands in the ring.

3. Eli Blu- One half of the identical twin Blu Brothers tag team. They look like the Berzerker without the fur boots. 

4. Duke "The Dumpster" Drose- The famous garbage man gimmick. It's the mid '90s. He eats a big boot from Blu. Drose puts Shawn in a bear hug. Why?

5. "Gigolo" Jimmy Del Ray- Shawn and Bulldog pair off on one side and the riff raff on the other. Del Ray punches get Shawn on the top rope in the corner.

6. Sione- Shawn sells a Sione headbutt like a gunshot. Needless to say he's in Shawn overdrive selling mode. Bulldog eliminates Del Ray.

7. Dr. Tom Pritchard- Never been sure what he's supposed to be a doctor of. Shawn's already up to around a dozen elimination teases.

8. Doink the Clown- Thankfully Dink doesn't get in. Then again maybe it might have helped. Not much of note happening.

9. Kwang- I'd honestly forgotten this gimmick lasted this long, this is two straight Rumbles for him. Shawn super sells a Doink punch, so at least he's keeping himself amused.

10. "The Model" Rick Martel- Martel had been working backstage for a while, but was pressed into action to replace Jim Neidhart when he got fired again. Shawn's up on the ropes in the corner again.

11. "The King of Harts" Owen Hart- While Owen's on the apron Bret attacks him! Beatdown on the entrance aisle! The intervals are so short they barely get done before the clock hits zero again.

12. Timothy Well- Of the tag team Well Dunn. You can guess what the other guy's last name is. Sometime during his entrance Owen got in the ring off camera and was promptly dumped out. Shawn eliminates Drose, who takes a ref down with him. Bulldog eliminates Well, thanks for coming. Sione eliminates Martel and Shawn eliminates Pritchard. Sione lifts Doink over but he lands on the apron. Kwang superkicks him off. 

13. Luke- During his entrance Kwang, Sione and Blu all eliminate each other. Shawn quickly tosses Luke and it's just Shawn and Bulldog again.

14. Jacob Blu- He kills Shawn with a clothesline. Shawn recovers and dumps Blu out. Bulldog gets Shawn over but he hangs on.

15. King Kong Bundy- We get a replay of Bulldog eliminating Owen. Bundy tries to leverage Bulldog.

16. Mo- He gets in, charges, and immediately Bundy eliminates him. That puts Mo in the coveted sub-5 second club. Bulldog fails to slam Bundy. Shawn looks at the two of them fighting and says screw it, I'm resting.

17. Mabel- Big man standoff with Bundy. Mabel tries to get Bundy over.

18. Butch- Mabel slowly works Bundy over the top and eliminates him. Shawn eliminates Butch because it's in the rules a Bushwhacker can't be in there long enough for the next entrant.

19. "Made in the USA" Lex Luger- If there's a favorite this year it's probably Luger after the tie last year. He was still being pushed as a big deal even though most of the fan base had passed him by. Luger grabs Mabel and dumps him over with little effort.

20. Mantaur- Sadly without his minotaur head because it's the Rumble. He works Bulldog over while Shawn and Luger fight.

21. "The Portuguese Man O' War" Aldo Montoya- Oh man, it's like a hall of fame of shitty '90s gimmicks. If Max Moon, The Goon or Battle Kat show up next I'm outta here.

22. Henry O. Godwinn- The point almost stands.

23. Billy Gunn- The cowboy goes right for the bull. There's a joke in there somewhere.

24. Bart Gunn- Mantaur jumps him. Sometimes you get the bull, sometimes the bull gets you. Hey, there's jack all happening in the ring so I've got to fill the space up somehow.

25. Mr. Bob Backlund- Bret's out again! He tries to claw Backlund's face off on the floor at ringside as the officials try to pull him off.

26. Steven Dunn- You guessed right. Backlund gets in the ring and promptly gets eliminated by a Luger clothesline from behind. As he's leaving Bret jumps him again! I'M NOT FINISHED WITH YOU!

27. "Dirty" Dick Murdoch- Now here's a blast from the past! Murdoch worked about every major territory in the world in the '80s and was a former WWF tag champ with Adrian Adonis. He's probably here because he had done some work with Jim Cornette in Smokey Mountain. He takes a shot at everyone. His gimmick (or lack thereof) is way too old school for this shit.

28. Adam Bomb- We're in the killing time before the last stage section. Shawn's hanging upside down again.

29. Fatu- Luger eliminates Mantaur.

30. Crush- He steps in and immediately dumps both Gunns, who were fighting with each other. Montoya eliminates Dunn. Like last year, the ring's awfully full once the last guy is in and they take forever to clear it out since the entrances were so quick. Fatu and Shawn have some fun....Plod, plod....Murdoch and Fatu have a pretty entertaining slugfest. Leave it to the old school guys to perk things up. Murdoch does crawling JYD style headbutts on Fatu and naturally only hurts himself. Crush eliminates Bomb. Crush tosses Fatu but he lands on the apron. Shawn eliminates Montoya. Luger keeps saving Shawn for some reason. Well, Luger was never the brightest. Crush dumps Fatu for real. Murdoch unloads on Godwinn and gives him an airplane spin! He tries to drop him to the floor, but Godwinn hangs onto the rope and Murdoch goes over and out, ending a fine run in a flat Rumble for the old man. They do a reset and standoff with the final five but we all know the final five isn't a real thing so I'm ignoring it. Shawn runs across the ring and jumps Luger. Luger eliminates Godwinn. NOW we're in the home stretch.

FINAL FOUR: Shawn, Bulldog, Luger and Crush. The heels double team Luger while Shawn keeps knocking Bulldog down whenever he gets up. Luger fights out. He goes for mounted punches on Crush. Big mistake. Crush eliminates Luger. See, not the brightest. Shawn forms a truce with Crush against Bulldog and they go to work on him. They high ten, and Crush turns on Shawn! Beat him to the punch. Bulldog charges and eliminates Crush. And the first two are the final two. This is the reason for the super short intervals and keeping the whole match to less than 45 minutes. The crowd is into it, as hot as they've been all night, which sadly isn't saying much. Slugfest. Shawn gets draped over the corner and Bulldog kicks him off, but Shawn falls into the ring. He presses Shawn and drops him crotch first over the top rope. Shawn's favorite spot. Clothesline! Shawn goes over the top but is still holding onto the top rope. Bulldog decides that's enough and celebrates winning even though there's no bell. His music even plays. But here comes Shawn from behind! He dumps Bulldog out and the bell rings! Fink says only one of Shawn's feet hit the floor, and he is the winner!

 

The replay shows that indeed, only one foot hit while Shawn swung himself back over onto the apron. He did a hell of a job not accidentally hitting with the other foot. After spending most of the second half of '94 seconding Diesel and barely wrestling on PPV, Shawn Michaels' push to the main event is officially on. This is definitely one of the weakest Rumbles. Between the depleted roster and the shortened intervals they never got anything going other than Shawn and Bulldog going wire to wire, and in retrospect Shawn was a pretty obvious winner. Shawn did everything he could to make this good and it was a hell of a job, but one man in a match this size can only do so much. Even Flair in '92, awesome as he was, had a good supporting cast. **1/2

OVERALL SHOW THOUGHTS: It's a weird Rumble when the Rumble match is one of the weakest things on the show, but that's what we have here. Most of the undercard is worth checking out, especially the WWF title match, which could definitely be 4 stars for some people depending on your take on overbooking and non-finishes. I'd only recommend the Rumble match as a historical novelty with the short intervals, for completionists (which I have always been, I tend to need to watch everything, good or bad) or for Shawn Michaels fans. An OK start to what would be a very troubled year.

OVERALL SHOW GRADE: B-

Survivor Series '94

Legacy Review

Survivor Series '94

November 23, 1994 from the Freeman Coliseum in San Antonio, TX

Commentary: Vince McMahon and Gorilla Monsoon

 

After a couple of years of back and forth WWF has settled on a hybrid format for Survivor Series with both regular and traditional Survivor Series matches featured, which will last until the 1998 Deadly Game WWF title tournament. This year also marks the return of the original 5 on 5 Survivor Series match format for the first time since 1988.

The Bad Guys (WWF Intercontinental Champion Razor Ramon, The 1-2-3 Kid, The British Bulldog and the Headshrinkers) def The Teamsters (WWF Tag Team Champions Shawn Michaels & Diesel, Jeff Jarrett, Owen Hart and Jim Neidhart) in 21:45- We've got 4 Kliq members, 3 Hart family members, 2 Samoans....oh crap, this is after Samu left the company and Sione (The Barbarian) replaced him, so a Samoan and a Tongan. And Jeff Jarrett. Capt. Lou has been trying to get the Shrinkers to wear boots and Fatu is having footwear issues on the floor before the match starts. After some sorting out Kid and Owen get set to start. No, Owen swaps with Anvil. Now we start with some power vs speed. Kid hits a reverse kick on Jarrett and dodges an attempted sunset flip for 2. Jarrett hits Sione with a clothesline off the top for 2. Owen tags in and wants Bulldog. Bulldog obliges and we get a nice basic wrestling sequence. Bulldog catches Owen on a attempted dropkick and slingshots him into the face corner. All the faces pound away on him to the delight of the crowd, and Bulldog caps it off with a press slam. Owen hits an an enzuguri to change momentum. Anvil and Bulldog exchange power moves. Fatu hits Anvil with a headbutt off the top rope, but his boots still haven't been broken in and he's too distracted by them to make the cover. Jarrett quickly backs off from Ramon. Shawn, who's been jawing at everyone the whole match at his dick heel best but never close to actually tagging in, psyches him up and Jarrett hits Ramon with a deep armdrag then celebrates with a strut. Waistlock exchange and Jarrett gets a double leg takedown. Ramon's pissed off, starts pounding away and clotheslines Jarrett 360 and out. While he's recovering Shawn and Diesel discuss strategery. Ramon catches a Jarrett crossbody and hits a fallaway slam. Kid tags in and Ramon fallaway slams him into Jarrett! Jarrett hooks Kid in an abdominal stretch. The ref catches him using the rope. Kid reverses and Jarrett hiptosses him over the top and onto a cameraman. Owen spinning heel kick on Fatu for 2. He gives Fatu buckle shots that are of course no sold. Owen gets a blind tag to Diesel. He kills Fatu with one clothesline, hits the jackknife, and Fatu's done. Kid tries to speed around Diesel and hits a sunset flip off the top. Diesel picks him up by the throat, slams him, hits the jackknife and pins Kid with one foot. Sione comes in, takes a quick jackknife and is gone. It's 5 on 2. Bulldog finally gets some offense on Diesel. Diesel counters with a big boot. He wants to tag Shawn in but Shawn won't do it. While they argue Owen and Jarrett work Bulldog over on the floor. Ramon sneaks in while Diesel and Shawn are still arguing and rolls Diesel up for 2. He wasn't even legal. Oh wait, Vince says Bulldog was counted out. He is legal and it's 5 on 1. Ramon gets a boot up in the corner and hits a bulldog off the second rope for a looooooooooong 2 count that the crowd thought was 3. He sets up a short clothesline but Diesel beats him to it. Shawn wants Diesel to finish it off. Snake eyes. Diesel goes for that again but Ramon pushes out. Diesel backdrops out of a Razor's Edge attempt. Another big boot. Jackknife! NOW Shawn wants in. Of course. He tells Diesel to hold Ramon so he can superkick him, but to the shock of no one Ramon ducks and Diesel gets it. This has happened several times the last few months and Diesel has finally had enough. He turns on Shawn, stalks him up the aisle while tossing all the rest of his team members away, and chases Shawn all the way to the back. Owen, Anvil and Jarrett stand around in the entrance area confused. Owen even says "We're gonna lose!" but by the time they start getting back to the ring the ref's already counted all of them out and given the match to Ramon. Kind of a dumb finish, but the action was solid and it's nice to see a Survivor Series match have an important story thread, namely the breakup of Shawn and Diesel and Diesel's face turn, not to mention Diesel continuing to get the massive monster push. SOLE SURVIVOR: Razor Ramon ***

Todd Pettingill has tracked down Shawn in the back. He's already gotten his bags and is halfway to New Braunfels (yes, I'm Texan so I get to do the local town references). Shawn says he's finished with Diesel and that ingrate was nothing until he found him and made him a star. He tosses his tag title belt away, hops in his car and gets the hell out of town. For housekeeping purposes, I'll note the tag titles were held to be vacated right then and there.

 

The Royal Family (Jerry Lawler, Cheesy, Queasy and Sleazy) def Clowns R Us (Doink, Dink, Pink and Wink) in 16:05- This is Lawler and three midgets against Doink and three midgets so expect lots of comedy hijinks. Lawler and Doink start. Doink hits an enzuguri. Lawler scurries to his corner. Lawler tries an enzuguri and Doink ducks it. Doink puts on an armbar and all the midgets run over Lawler while he's laying on the mat. Lawler gets pissed at his team, puts Doink in the same position, calls for his team to run over him, and they all trip and collapse into each other. Doink slams Lawler and his team tries to pin him. Lawler slams Doink and I'm sure you can see what's coming. Yup, his team tries to pin Doink and Lawler gets buried in his own midgets. One of the clowns sneaks in and puts a Burger King crown on Lawler. Now Dink gets up on Doink's shoulders. Lawler wants to do one better, trying to get on top of one of his midgets. The law of mavity and basic physics dooms that to failure. Here comes the midget criss cross spots. They all plow into each other. After a bit they run around the apron chasing each other. In the confusion Doink hits Lawler with a springboard reverse crossbody off the second rope, but Lawler rolls through and grabs a handful of tights to pin Doink. The last part of the match is all of Lawler's team eliminating Doink's team with Lawler's illegal help. Dink does get some really nice spots in, including a crossbody off the top rope. After the bell Lawler gets pissed his team is celebrating when he did it all. He chases them down, then all the midgets turn on Lawler and run him off. Doink caps it off by giving Lawler a very whipped cream heavy pumpkin pie in the face. This is some people's cup of tea, and more power to you if it is. I enjoy comedy in wrestling, but this isn't my style. It certainly doesn't hold a candle to the best midget match ever, the legendary WeeLC. SURVIVORS: The Royal Family *

Back to Pettingill, who announces that Bull Nakano defeated Alundra Blayze for the WWF women's title in the Tokyo Dome a couple of nights ago. We even get some very rare Japan footage on WWF TV, showing the title change. The event was an AJW promoted show called Big Egg Wrestling Universe, which featured many of the top joshi promotions and even a few shoot fights, had an insane 23 matches on the card and lasted TEN HOURS. And we complain about how long recent single night Wrestlemanias have been. Bull Nakano is already back stateside and with Todd. She cuts a promo in Japanese and tries very, very hard not to corpse.

 

WWF Title Feud Recap- Bob Backlund challeged Bret Hart for the WWF title on Superstars in June, thought he had won but didn't, and after it was over responded to Bret's handshake offer with a slap and a little crossface chickenwing. This was Backlund's heel turn, changing into the psychotic old man character we have all known and loved since. Backlund not only contended that he beat Hart in June, but he never lost the title at all to the Iron Sheik back in 1983 in the first place because his manager threw the towel in on him. That would lead to the unique stipulation of this title match: it's a submission match, but it won't end if a wrestler submits. Their second has to throw the towel in to end the match. During the build for the match Backlund's chickenwing was built up as the ultimate, unbreakable, unbeatable submission hold.

 

Submission Match for the WWF Championship: Mr. Bob Backlund (w/Owen Hart) def Bret "Hitman" Hart (c) (w/the British Bulldog) in 35:11- Backlund tries a pre-bell jump but Bret grabs and slams him. Backlund tries to take a powder but Bulldog throws him back in. Bret drags Backlund off the apron over the top rope with a headlock. Backlund deadlifts and drops Bret. Bret hits elbows to the back of Backlund's head and stays in total control the first part of the match. Backlund takes Bret down with a drop toe hold and tries for the chickenwing. Bret powers out and turns it into a headlock. Backlund gets a double leg takedown but Bret works it over into a hammerlock. Backlund works around and tries for the chickenwing again. Bret rolls it into a belly to belly suplex. He goes for the Sharpshooter but Backlund quickly fights it off. Bret hooks in an abdominal stretch. Backlund flips him over, then dodges an elbow off the second rope. They go into a stretch where Backlund works Bret's arm and shoulder with impact moves and hard pulls, setting up for the chickenwing. He tries for it, but Bret senses it coming and Backlund settles for an armbar. Bret kips up and reverses it! A Backlund kick sends Bret to the floor. He stalks Owen and Backlund tries to get him from behind but Bret catches and punches him. Back in, they whack each other with a double headbutt. Backlund starts yanking on the arm again. Bret gets a slam but Backlund holds onto the arm. Vince points out that Backlund is the same age as George Foreman, who had just regained the world heavyweight boxing title in a major upset at age 45. I think Vince just gave away what gave him the idea for this in the first place. Bret gets a swinging neckbreaker. Backlund pops him with a hard forearm while both were on their knees. Bret hits an inverted atomic drop and goes for the Sharpshooter again. Backlund grabs the ropes and twists out. Bret pulls him back in and locks on a figure four! Owen is feet away from his towel with his arms crossed, refusing to even think about it. But then does start thinking about it. Finally he says "The towel's staying right there! No!". Backlund facial expressions are almost otherworldly good. Finally Backlund reverses it. Now Bulldog refuses. Bret reverses the reversal and Backlund gets to the ropes. Bret stays on the knee with great selling from Backlund. Another blocked Sharpshooter attempt. Slugfest. Backlund hits a piledriver! Both guys are down. Backlund goes for the chickenwing and Bret just gets to the rope. He almost had it completely locked in there. Backlund with a sleeper! Bret starts going down, then powers back up and runs Backlund into the turnbuckles. Midring collision. Bret hits a piledriver and bulldog to get the Five Moves of Doom run going. Sharpshooter! Owen tries to get in the ring. Bulldog blocks and chases him around. While Hebner's messing with Bulldog, Owen bulldogs Bret out of the Sharpshooter! Bulldog chases again but goes face first into the steps and is knocked completely unconscious. Owen even looks concerned for him. While Bret's distracted by all that Backlund sneaks up from behind. CHICKENWING! (I'd make a Marty Scurll reference but he's persona non grata at the moment) Bret tries to hang onto the rope but Backlund pulls him away. Bret fights and fights but slowly goes down. Bulldog's still out. Owen looks distraught and tells Bret he's sorry. He tries to revive Bulldog. Bret tries to power back up, getting back to his feet before collapsing again. Backlund really gets the hooks in, grapevining Bret's midsection with his legs. That's just like Kurt Angle getting the leg grapevine with the ankle lock. Once that's on, it's over. Owen's in tears and begs his parents, conveniently sitting ringside, to help. Bret's still trying to fight but there's nothing more he can do except have every ligament in his shoulder and elbow snapped. With Bulldog still down Owen pleads again with his parents, pulling the barricade aside and getting them next to the ring. Owen gives Helen Hart the towel but before she can do anything Stu grabs it away. Owen continues to plead, and finally Helen grabs the towel away from Stu and throws it in! Bob Backlund is once again WWF Champion! Bret's second WWF title reign ends at 248 days, which would turn out to be the longest of his five runs with the belt. Owen runs away screaming in triumph, tears completely forgotten. I suspect something is not on the up and up there. Meanwhile, Backlund stares at his hands in the middle of the ring, seeming to hardly believe what he's just done. He stands at attention and demands Hebner put the belt on around his waist while Bret's carried out. That was one hell of a wrestling match, and I mean *wrestling*. What I really loved about it was everything mattered and everything had to be earned. Both guys fought for every inch and every hold, and the psychology was airtight. Bret was on fire throughout 1994, nearly on the level of Ric Flair's otherworldly 1989, and Backlund's work with his new crazy heel character was phenomenal. My only complaint is the end sequence with Bret in the chickenwing went on way too long, nearly 10 minutes all total. That could have been tightened up a lot, and I'm knocking the rating down a tad for it. ****

Pettingill is in the back with Owen. He confirms it was all a RUSE! Without the title Bret's now nothing but bottom of the barrel gutter trash, and he's a king. Back to commentary and Gorilla completely and wonderfully buries Owen as the lowest form of human scum on the planet, even lower than telemarketers and people who can't stay off their cell phones in a movie theater.

 

Of course Backlund ended up being the transitionist of transitional champions, dropping the title to the freshly face turned Diesel 3 days later at an MSG house show in a match that lasted all of about 10 seconds, completing Diesel's record run of winning all three original Triple Crown titles in the same calendar year (and within about a 6 month period to boot).

 

The Million Dollar Team (Bam Bam Bigelow, King Kong Bundy, Tatanka and The Heavenly Bodies) def Guts and Glory (Lex Luger, Mabel, Adam Bomb and The Smoking Gunns) in 23:21- Tatanka backs into Luger and begs off. Luger no sells chops in the corner, then no sells a suplex like he's wrestling Ric Flair. Tatanka is clotheslined out. Luger press slams Del Ray into Bigelow. Mabel tosses Pritchard around. After a small spark of life from Pritchard Mabel squashes him with a crossbody off the second rope and Pritchard is gone. Del Ray tries to knock Mabel down but runs into a rock bottom slam. Bundy and Mabel have a big man standoff. Bundy goes down, so he tags Bigelow in for a shot. Mabel ducks a Bigelow enzuguri and hits a standing spinning heel kick! Mabel goes to the top rope. That's right, the top rope. It takes him forever so Bigelow catches him and gives him the Flair slam off. Bigelow goes up and does a sunset flip off the top (that he overshot and they have to adjust). Mabel sits on him. Mabel with a Cactus clothesline on Bigelow! Mabel rolls Bigelow back in the ring, but was apparently out too long himself and was counted out. Poor execution on that. The tag teams take it for a bit. Del Ray superkicks Billy and they do the bridge/backslide spot. Bigelow and Bomb have a spunky sequence and Bomb hits a slingshot clothesline over the top rope. Remember last year's Survivor Series when Diesel was the first guy out and Bomb was getting the Big Man push? That feels like a decade ago. Bundy hits Bomb from behind on a rope run and Bigelow gives him a bulldog. Bigelow hits his modified moonsault and Bomb is out. Luger quickly runs in and rolls Bigelow up for 2. Del Ray works Luger over for a bit until Luger kills him with a diving clothesline and pins him. The Gunns double team and quick tag Tatanka for a while. Bart tries a crucifix on Tatanka, which is a dumb move because it puts him right in position to be Samoan dropped. Tatanka hits it and Bart is gone. Billy and Luger keep working Tatanka over. Tatanka is practically working a face in peril spot, but as a heel. Tatanka catches Billy leapfrogging, hits him with a powerslam and finally tags out. Bundy hits the avalanche on Billy and he's done. It's down to just Luger against Tatanka, Bundy and Bigelow. DiBiase is thrilled as he had called that they'd get Luger alone before the show. The heels do a long beatdown on Luger with some near falls. Luger gets a shock (and sloppy) Paul Smackage on Tatanka to eliminate him. Bundy says enough of this shit, squashes Luger with a big splash, and gets the win. After the bell the heels continue the Luger beatdown until the face team returns to save him. Perfectly average. The final Luger beatdown stretch was pretty dull. SURVIVORS: Bundy and Bigelow **1/4

Pettingill is with the new WWF champ MISTER Bob Backlund, and you put that Mister on it, son. Backlund says he's not the new champion, he's been champion since 1978! He just got the belt back tonight. He promises to bring morality back to everyone's lives, and he's going to PASTEURIZE, HOMOGENIZE and SYNCHRONIZE all our lives through sports EDUCATION! In closing, "I FEEL LIKE GOD!". Absolute glorious insanity. The title win was almost worth it just for that promo.

 

Casket Match: The Undertaker (w/Paul Bearer) def Yokozuna (w/Jim Cornette and Mr. Fuji) in 15:24- There's been a lot of heels going over tonight, so an already obvious result is even more obvious. Texas' own Chuck Norris is the special enforcer to prevent what happened to Taker at the Rumble from happening again. The Tron opens up and Taker makes his entrance from a special ramp that was hidden behind it. The XXXXXXL casket is back again. It's gotten as many PPV paydays this year as half the roster. Taker does the throat slash gesture and points to the casket, causing Yokozuna to freak out. Taker no sells an avalanche. Yokozuna gets whipped and freaks out again when he sees he's near the casket. They go to the floor and Taker gives him a stair shot followed by slow stalking around ringside. Back in, we get the rope walk punch. Taker hits the ropes, but Yokozuna scoops him up and hits a Samoan drop! That was good. Taker sits up. Clotheslines and headbutts put Taker down again. They get near the casket and Taker fights off Yokozuna, then snaps his throat over the top rope. Yoko does a huge delayed fall, but dodges Taker's follow up elbow drop. He hits a uranagi and rolls Taker into the casket. Taker stops the lid being closed. After some throat shots Yokozuna falls in and they have a slugfest standing in the casket. Fuji grabs Taker's hair. Taker stalks him, then turns around and pops Cornette. Good choice. Yokozuna shots keep Taker on the floor for a bit. Taker takes a hard buckle shot, but bounces out with a rebound clothesline and starts up the comeback motor. Diving clothesline off the top rope! He starts slowly rolling Yokozuna toward the casket, and that's our cue for shenanigans. Bundy, and then Bigelow, come out, but both stay well out of Norris' personal assault bubble. But while he's distracted IRS sneaks in from the other side, low blows Taker, puts him out with a sleeper, and dumps him in the casket. DiBiase's guys leave, damage done. This was all to start setting up Taker's next feud with the Million Dollar Corporation. Yokozuna slowly gets up and goes for the lid. Taker goozles him and rises from the dead. Jeff Jarrett comes out for no reason and takes a kick from Norris. What a goof. Taker gives Yokozuna a diving clothesline and DDT, and a big boot puts him in the casket. Lid shut and good night. Yokozuna would never sniff this kind of card placement again. The match was pretty much what you'd expect. 1/2*

OVERALL SHOW THOUGHTS: A middling end to what was really a pretty decent year in 1994 despite the continuing lack of high end talent depth on the roster, in large part thanks to the focus on the Hart brothers feud. That would not continue in '95, as Vince would fall back into old habits and WWF would have probably the worst year of the mid-'90s doldrums.

OVERALL SHOW GRADE: C

Summerslam '94

Legacy Review

Summerslam '94

August 29, 1994 from the United Center in Chicago

Commentary: Vince McMahon and Jerry Lawler

Randy Savage is playing emcee again. Vince makes a big show of their being in the BRAND NEW United Center, and this was the first event ever to take place in the arena. They also announce that Shawn Michaels and Diesel defeated The Headshrinkers for the tag titles at a house show the previous night in Indianapolis, giving Big Daddy Cool two belts. The mega push continues.

Bam Bam Bigelow and Irwin R Schyster (w/Ted DiBiase) def The Headshrinkers (w/Afa and Capt. Lou Albano) by DQ in 7:20- This was to be a tag title match before the title change. Surprised DiBiase didn't make a show of trying to pay someone off to still get a shot at the belts. The Shrinkers take their time disrobing, leaving a drawbridge sized door open for a Suzuki-Gun ambush, but the heels hold back. I guess Rotunda is calling the plays instead of Bigelow, who was regularly jump starting matches during this WWF run. Bigelow and Fatu start. Shoulderblocks by Bigelow. Fatu hits a superkick for 2. He tries to slam Bigelow but it doesn't go as he drew it up and Bigelow gets a 2 count. Big Bigelow enzuguri! Fatu dodges the headbutt off the top rope and hits a clothesline. Double superkick! A veritable superkick party! Bigelow is in mega selling mode tonight, and he and the Samoans are enjoying a little snugness with each other. Samu flips IRS around. Bigelow pulls the rope down on Samu and he crashes to the floor. Samu's head is rammed into the briefcase and he actually sells it. Big Samu/Bigelow midring collision followed by tags. Backdrops for everyone. Samu headbutt off the second rope for 2. Double headbutt on IRS, followed by a double front legsweep (AKA Skull Crushing Finale). Fatu hits a splash off the top that should finish it but DiBiase has the ref distracted. Bigelow takes out Albano. Afa takes out Bigelow and the ref calls for the bell. The faces clear the ring, then decide they haven't had enough and all four guys brawl up the aisle and through an arena side door. Crap finish, but everyone had their working boots (or ankle tape in the Headshrinkers' case) on and the match kept the pace up with no long face in peril stuff. **1/2

Cut to the first Fashion Files Police Squad-style skit starring Leslie "Frank Drebin" Nielsen himself. The premise is he's searching for the Undertaker. The REAL Undertaker. He follows some signs and thinks he's found him, but it's only his Naked Gun co-star George Kennedy. "By George, we're on the case!" Literally. They're standing on a case. It's bottom barrel pseudo-Zucker brothers stuff, but it's mostly cheesy fun.

 

WWF Women's Championship: Alundra Blayze (c) def Bull Nakano (w/Luna Vachon) in 8:10- WWF brought in All-Japan Women's Wrestling star Nakano as a ringer (kayfabe brought in by Luna) to try to give Blayze some suitable competition as none of the other women on the roster could come close to keeping up with her. Nakano comes in to the Orient Express' old music. They do the traditional Japanese flower ceremony. Luna takes a swing at Blayze with flowers and quickly skedaddles. Both women cautiously offer a handshake, but Nakano jumps in with a kick. She tosses Blayze around by her hair. Nakano no sells gut punches and hits a big clothesline and legdrop. Mandatory USA crowd chant as Nakano works a chinlock and keeps building heat. Blayze with a hurricanrana outta nowhere for 2! Nakano takes back over with a choke and slam. She hooks in a one arm Boston Crab, putting both of Blayze's legs under one armpit. Blayze fights and eventually gets to the rope. Nakano switches into the scorpion crossface, but also uses hair so she's forced to break. Blayze gets a flash roll up, but Nakano switches it around into a Fujiwara armbar! Blazye gets out, starts running, and hits a series of slingblades! She tries for a piledriver but Nakano backdrops out. Huge Nakano clothesline. Blayze leapfrogs over in the corner and gets a backslide for 2. Nakano catches Blayze and powerbombs her for 2. She goes up top but Blayze dodges the butt splash, hits a bridged German suplex, and gets the pin and a good pop! Slow start, really good closing stretch. They also got a mid-'90s WWF crowd to care about a women's match, no small feat. **3/4

 

WWF Intercontinental Championship: Razor Ramon (w/Walter Payton) def Diesel (c) (w/Shawn Michaels) in 15:03- I don't think there's any reason Payton is here other than to pop the hometown crowd. Also, for some reason I fell compelled to mention the greatest running back in NFL history is Emmitt Smith. There's a bit of a pop happening for the heels, especially Diesel. Not much, but it's starting. Both these guys have come a long way since their struggles to grab a foothold in WCW. Shawn jaws with Payton in the ring. Ramon gives Diesel the toothpick flick and dives right in off the distraction. Punches send Diesel crashing to the floor. Shawn tries to psych him back up. Back in they go for a lockup, but Diesel gets a knee to the gut instead and works Ramon's back with power blows. Ramon ducks a big boot and hits a clothesline. Diesel responds with a back elbow in the corner. He does the boot choke in the corner with Shawn helping. Diesel hooks in a sleeper. Ramon back suplexes out. Ramon misses a dive and crashes to the floor. Shawn hops up and takes a turnbuckle pad off, which is how Diesel originally beat Ramon for the title. Payton and Shawn get into it again on the floor. Hebner backs Payton off, allowing Shawn to sneak around and hit Ramon with a diving clothesline off the steps. Ramon barely beats the count back in. Soon to be vintage Nash/Diesel measured elbows in the corner. He goes to whip Ramon into the exposed buckle, but Hebner literally gets up in the corner and blocks it with his body! A very Red Shoes move there. Shawn gets Hebner distracted and Ramon takes the buckle shot. Diesel side suplex for 2. Snake eyes! More heel double teaming. Diesel hits a big boot and covers. Ramon gets a foot on the rope. Abdominal stretch with rope leverage. Payton helps Hebner figure it out to break the hold. Diesel goes for snake eyes again, this time into the exposed buckle, but Ramon pushes Diesel into it instead. Ricochet roll up for a long 2. The crowd bit on that one hard. Ramon bulldog off the second rope for another long 2. He sets up the back superplex but Diesel elbows out and calls for the Jackknife. Ramon backdrops out and calls for the Razor's Edge. Shawn gets on the apron again. Diesel uses the distraction to hit a clothesline from behind and a flying tackle. Both guys are down. Shawn grabs the IC belt but Payton stops him from taking it into the ring. Double team setup....Shawn superkicks Diesel! Ramon slowly crawls over, covers, and gets the pin and the title back! Massive pop for the win. As they're leaving Diesel is not at all pleased with Shawn. This was the seed that would lead to their eventual breakup and Diesel's face turn. As usual for an intra-Kliq match there was maximum effort given, but it was also well laid out and did a good job of using Diesel and Shawn as a team to make the mountain for Ramon to climb that much higher before it all came crashing down for the heels, while Payton hit his bits right and wasn't overused. Well done all around. ***1/2

Todd Pettingill (man, how great was he at In Your House '21, which was just last night for me as I write this) is with Lex Luger and Tatanka. Interesting story here. Both guys are faces, but Tatanka is accusing Luger of selling out to DiBiase and secretly joining the Million Dollar Corporation, and has a ton of circumstantial video evidence to prove his point. Luger, of course, denies everything. Pettingill brings out the not at all skewed WWF hotline opinion poll that shows 54% of respondents think he did indeed sell out. Like any Zogby or online poll, that poll's likely not worth the paper it's printed on.

 

Tatanka def "Made in the USA" Lex Luger in 6:02- Boos for Tatanka on his entrance, showing the crowd is ahead of the swerve curve. Luger also gets some boos but that's probably just Chicago. More "you sold out" arguing in the ring. Luger hits a shoulderblock. Lawler: "Well that proves he sold out, that's the exact same shoulderblock DiBiase does!". Never mind the fact that virtually every other wrestler in the world does that move. I could pick out 2 or 3 Lawler comments every match that drive me nuts but I'm not burying the review in them. At least Art Donovan was unintentionally funny. Tatanka crossbody for 2. Luger small package for 2. Slugfest as things start to break down. Luger hits a suplex but Tatanka dodges the big elbow drop. He starts war dancing up and hits chops. Chop off the top rope for 2. He goes up top again but Luger dodges. Clotheslines (that Tatanka sells before contact). DiBiase is out with the cheap bag full of presumably not cheap money. As he flashes the money at Luger Tatanka sneaks up and gets Generic Raw Finish 1A, the distraction rollup! Luger is furious. Tatanka says it is what it is. Luger turns to DiBiase and kicks the money bag away....but while his back is turned Tatanka hits him from behind! TATANKA SOLD OUT THAT SON OF A BITCH! THAT INGRATE! HE TOOK THE BOX OF TOY PADDLE BALLS FOR ALL HIS LAND! (That last one is a Blazing Saddles reference for all you young'uns out there. Watch it if you haven't and thank me later.) After a couple of Samoan drops Tatanka and DiBiase hug. BAH GAWD HE SOLD HIS SOUL TO SATAN HIMSELF! As they leave Tatanka says to the camera that they fooled us all. DiBiase says go give him some more. This has already gone on longer than the match, why not? Tatanka puts a stamp on it by putting the Million Dollar Dream on Luger and stuffing his mouth with a $100 bill. *1/2

 

"Double J" Jeff Jarrett def Mabel (w/Oscar) in 5:45- This is billed as "country vs rap". If that's the case, I'm rooting for the ref. Jarrett goes after Oscar before the match. Mabel shockingly wins the lockup. Jarrett avoids a follow up charge and struts. Mabel tosses Jarrett around and mocks his strut. Jarrett manages to leapfrog Mabel but takes an elbow drop in the back, followed by a 360 and out clothesline. Jarrett shoves Oscar into the steps and grabs Mabel's leg from the floor to trip him down. He hits a series of moves off the second rope, then tries off the top, but Mabel catches him. Jarrett climbs Mabel's back and locks in a sleeper. Mabel backs him into the corner and continues to squash him. Mabel spinning heel kick! That gets a 2 count. We get a quick shot of Abe "Knuckleball" Schwartz in the crowd with an "On strike" sign, Vince's attempt at mocking the impending baseball strike that infamously shut down the '94 season. Mabel hits a powerslam and they do some obvious repositioning so Jarrett can get a foot on the rope on the count. Jarrett eye rakes Mabel and goes after Oscar again. Mabel holds Jarrett down and Oscar slaps him. Mabel goes for a dive off the second rope. Jarrett rolls away and tries a sunset flip. Mabel tries to butt splash him, but Jarrett avoids it and covers Mabel for 3. At least the right guy won. 3/4*

The lights go out and Vince "finds" our two "supersleuths" Nielsen and Kennedy on the aisle. A silhouette of the Undertaker appears in the entrance tunnel, but when they turn around to look it's gone.

The heavy blue bar cage still requires a long setup time, so we get a lengthy and detailed video recap of the Hart brothers feud, including the inclusion of Jim Neidhart. While the cage is being finalized Vince and Lawler have some words with the Hart family at ringside. Brother in law British Bulldog is there, making his WWF return after a couple of years in WCW and elsewhere. Neidhart is also hanging out in the back making trouble. Everyone in the family is now blaming him for turning Owen against them. The prematch sizzle is capped off with a great main event level promo from Bret. Promos were the one semi-weak part of his game at one point, but not anymore. That's something modern WWE really needs to relearn, especially for PPVs: one great prematch promo is worth five 10 minute long recap packages.

 

Steel Cage Match for the WWF Championship: Bret "Hitman" Hart (c) def "The King of Harts" Owen Hart in 32:22- It's WWF traditional escape only rules tonight. During the entrances there's a serious big match feel. Owen jumps Bret as soon as he gets in the cage and pounds him down. Bret comes back with an inverted atomic drop and clothesline. Owen chokes Bret with his own singlet straps. Bret blocks a cage shot, hits a DDT, and starts the first climb before Owen grabs him. Owen enzuguri. He tries a climb and gets a leg over before Bret drags him back. While he's still standing on the top rope Bret gives him a back suplex. Bret goes for the door. Owen grabs his foot to stop him. After some more back and forth Bret hits a bulldog. He tries for the door again, and they go through a great sequence where they leap over each other multiple times trying to get out the door only to have the other stop it. After a short reset in the middle Bret climbs again. Owen gets him down and gives him the Flair slam off the top rope. Owen starts to climb and gets both legs over. Bret gets up, grabs him, and pulls him back in. Slugfest in the corner on the top rope. Bret falls and Owen hits him with a missile dropkick. He kips up and jumps over onto the cage to climb. Bret follows. They bite each other on top of the cage. Bret rams the back of Owen's head into the cage! Back in the middle again. Bret backdrops out of a piledriver. Speed run and midring collision! Owen tries for the door, then Bret tries another climb. Bret tries to kick Owen away. Owen grabs his leg, pulls, and Bret falls hard crotch first over the top rope! Owen goes for the door again. Bret drags him away and gives him the gut stomp. Bret's down too, still selling getting crotched on the rope. He tries an elbow off the second rope but Owen dodges it. Owen climbs again. Bret just gets up and grabs Owen's hair after he's over to the other side. Owen lets his legs loose and he dangles over the floor with only Bret grabbing his hair holding him up! The crowd's going crazy. Finally Bret drags Owen back in by the hair. Bret gets one leg over and Owen just stops him. Owen pulls Bret down onto his shoulders and hits him with a Samoan drop. Another close Bret save. Bret blocks a cage shot and Owen takes it! Bret goes up and gets both legs over. Owen barely stops and gets him back in. The crowd is eating every little last bit of this up. Another back superplex. Owen hits a piledriver. Another climb and Bret save. Owen knocks Bret down to the mat but falls down himself. Bret crawls for the door. Owen grabs him. Bret gives his all to drag himself and Owen through the door but can't. Owen slides for the door. Bret grabs his legs, drags him to the middle, and slingshots him into the cage! Bret goes for the door again. When he's almost out Owen pops up, LEAPS across the ring, and just stops him! Owen slips out of a slam and pushes Bret toward the cage, but Bret ducks and Owen runs face first into the steel! But Bret also whacked his knee on the cage. After some recovery time Bret goes up and Owen just gets him by the hair to stop him. Owen spinning heel kick. They go up again and have another slugfest perched precariously on the top rope. Owen falls down, pops back up and drags Bret down. Another midring collision. One of Owen's boots is loose but he's fighting through it because he's a wrestler. He climbs again in the corner. Bret goes up, hooks him.....SUPERPLEX FROM THE TOP OF THE CAGE! Bret crawls for the door. Owen grabs him and hooks in a Sharpshooter! Brets grabs a boot, muscles out, and reverses into his own Sharpshooter! Bret tries a climb but Owen leaps up and grabs his head to stop it. Owen goes over. Bret follows and also goes over. The tension is seriously palpable as the crowd senses the finish coming. They're both halfway down. Bret blocks a cage shot. Owen takes a cage shot! He falls down, but his feet get tangled up in the cage and he dangles upside down! Bret drops, hits the floor, and wins! That was an absolute masterpiece. A work of art. Every moment, every move had a logical place in the carefully crafted whole, they sold their fatigue at a perfect rate as the match progressed, had the crowd engrossed the entire time, and they even got a big highspot in. This is the greatest blue bar cage match ever, and the greatest escape rules cage match ever. *****

After the bell Neidhart ambushes Bret from behind. He and Owen get Bret back in the cage, lock the door, and beat him down while keeping all the other Hart brothers from climbing in. Owen even takes advantage of his loose boot to take it off and beat Bret with it. Finally Bulldog gets in and chases the heels off, with Neidhart leaving one of his sneakers behind to die so he can escape. That's a pretty standard postmatch cage beatdown spot in Jim Crockett or WCW, but I think this is the first time WWF really did something like it.

That should have been the main event, but we're not done....

MAIN EVENT STORY RECAP- OK, bear with me here. Taker lost a casket match to Yokozuna at the Rumble and floated away to rafters unknown. A few months later, Paul Bearer said he'd had no contact with Taker, but Ted DiBiase claimed that he did. DiBiase reintroduced the "Undertaker" on weekly TV. There was some long term symmetry here as it was DiBiase that originally brought Taker in to start with at Survivor Series '90. DiBiase controlled his Taker with the all powerful greenback while Bearer swore up and down he was faker than those leaked plans for the Dominion to invade Romulus (look up the "IT'S A FAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE" meme if you're lost on that one). DiBiase got his Taker to attack Bearer, who was saved by the magic of Undertaker's Dong. Bearer said the real Taker had returned from Valinor or wherever he was and would eliminate the imposter at Summerslam.

 

The (Real) Undertaker (w/Paul Bearer) def The (Fake) Undertaker (w/Ted DiBiase) in 8:57- For convenience and brevity I'm going to call them Taker and Faker. I think you can tell which is which. Faker's walk on his entrance is as much as a giveaway as anything else, it's not even close. To clarify, Faker is not being played by Glenn "Kane" Jacobs, but by Brian "Chainz" Lee. Bearer comes out to Taker's original music, and has druids rolling the XXXXXL casket from the Rumble with him. He open the casket, and inside is....a jumbo size urn. The lights go out. Bearer opens the urn and a light comes out of it. Are you sure that's not a melted down Ark of the Covenant? Don't look at it, Marion! There's a bunch of Nazis in the crowd with melted faces. Lightning and thunder roll through the arena. A new version of Taker's music plays, and the real thing makes his entrance, with purple lighting and purple trimmed ring gear for the first time. After a mirror disrobing Taker and Faker have the famous nose to nose shot. Taker does the throat slash and blocks a Faker punch. Shoulderblock standoff. During a speed run Taker hits a big boot, and a throat thrust sends Faker to the floor. Faker stalks Bearer. Taker pulls him up by his hair and suplexes him back in. Faker drops Taker's throat over the top rope. He tries the rope walk but Taker flips him off and shows him how it's done. Faker gives Taker a really shitty hot shot. The crowd was hot for Taker's entrance but isn't into the match at all. Faker tries to pound Taker down, can't do it, and gets frustrated. Faker choke slam. Taker sits up. Faker tombstone! Taker sits up. Faker goes for another tombstone. Taker reverses it and plants the imposter, then hits two more tombstones because that guy's really pissed him off. It's academic after that. After the bell Taker rolls Faker into the casket and he's carted off, never to be heard from again. The match was crap, but the whole story and presentation was entertaining its own way. 1/2*

Cut back to Nielsen and Kennedy in the back with the casket. They lift the lid and it's empty. But hey, it's OK. The case is closed! Literally, there's a briefcase there, and it's closed. Those bits got worse and worse as the show went on. I mean, three segments and you recycle the same basic case gag for two of them?

OVERALL SHOW THOUGHTS: With an all time great WWF title match, a good IC title match, some out there Taker fun, a well done heel turn and a mostly serviceable undercard, this is one of the better shows of a very rough era. I do have to knock it down a bit for poor match order though. Put the Taker stuff in the middle of the show and WWF title match where it should be at the end and you might be pushing an A-. The main event matters.

OVERALL SHOW GRADE: B

King of the Ring '94

Legacy Review

King of the Ring '94

June 19, 1994 from the Baltimore Arena in Baltimore, MD

Commentary: Gorilla Monsoon (YAY), Randy Savage and NFL Hall of Famer Art "How Much Does This Guy Weigh?" Donovan

I still can't get over how perfect the original KOTR graphics are. They should be in the Hall of Fame. Cool stage setup this year too, with a huge coronation area and the first appearance of the giant KOTR doors. In the stand up intro Monsoon calls Donovan "Art O'Donnell", which is a perfect early indicator of how this commentary experiment is going to go.

Quarterfinals: Razor Ramon def Bam Bam Bigelow (w/Luna Vachon) in 8:24- Luna irritates Ramon and gets a toothpick in the face. Bigelow takes advantage and ambushes Ramon from behind. High impact power offense from Bigelow. Ramon dodges the headbutt off the top rope, then baseball slides out in the corner and posts Bigelow's crotch. Ramon bulldog off the top with a horrible delayed sell from Bigelow. Donovan: "What's the girl over there screaming at?". Ramon ducks an enzuguri and hits clotheslines. Bigelow dodges and Ramon flies over the top to the floor. Back in Bigelow hits an enzuguri and slowly pounds Ramon down. Torture rack. Ramon doesn't make any effort to sell it at all, he just lays there. They do the arm drops and Ramon stays in it, but still lays there and doesn't do anything. Finally Bigelow lets go and Ramon switches it over into a Saitoish suplex. He tries to put Bigelow on the top rope for the back superplex but Bigelow elbows out. He sets up the moonsault, but Ramon grabs him from behind, drops Bigelow down to the mat and rolls him up to win. Pretty dull. *1/4

 

Quarterfinals: Irwin R Schyster def Mabel (w/Oscar) in 5:34- Donovan on IRS's entrance: "Randy, is that one of the wrestlers? He looks like a businessman." Then on Mable's entrance: "Is that how he's gonna wrestle, with his clothes on?". IRS tries an ambush but Mabel avoids it and bombards IRS with buckle shots. Donovan gives us our first "How much does this guy weigh?" of the night. When he's told he says "That's not fair! That's twice as much as the other guy!". As if your eyes couldn't tell you that. IRS dodges a charge and knocks Mabel to the floor. A diving clothesline puts Mabel down. IRS drops a couple of elbows and gets a long 2 count. Mabel turns a slam attempt into a small package! It gets a two count, but the huge Mabel had IRS legitimately pinned and had to let go before 3 for IRS to kick out. To the Rotunda chinlock! Donovan thinks Mabel is rich because he has gold teeth. Mabel backs IRS into the corner. Backdrop. Mabel Rock Bottom slam for 2. He goes up to the second rope. IRS gets up, shakes the rope. Mabel falls down, and IRS covers for 3. Next. 3/4*

 

Quarterfinals: "The Rocket" Owen Hart def Tatanka in 8:18- Tatanka jumps Owen the second he gets in the ring. Big backdrop for a quick 2 count. Suplex for 2. Owen eye rakes to kill the momentum. Basic speed run with Tatanka getting a hiptoss and Japanese armdrag. Owen tosses Tatanka to the floor, but he lands on his feet and drags Owen out. Slugfest, then Tatanka gets posted. While he's recovering there's a picture in picture cut to the back where Ramon and IRS are confronting each other. Owen hits a gutwrench suplex and missile dropkick for 2. Monsoon's already pretending he can't hear Donovan. Owen locks in a sleeper. Tatanka does the arm drops, elbows out and starts the war dancing up. Big chops and a cover for 2. DDT for 2. Chop off the top rope for 2. Owen tries to leap over in the corner but Tatanka catches and powerslams him. Tatanka tries a sunset flip, but Owen stacks him up British Bulldog Summerslam '92 style and gets the pin. Solid. **3/4

 

Quarterfinals: The 1-2-3 Kid def "Double J" Jeff Jarrett in 4:39- Arrogant Jarrett thinks this is a warmup match and the Kid is beneath his worry. During Jarrett's entrance Donovan asks if he's wrestling the 1-2-3 Kid, gets confirmation, then when the Kid comes out Donovan asks who that is! Kid comes out swinging with kicks and Jarrett bails, then grabs a leg takedown from the floor. Huge Kid buckle shot. Kid flips over in the corner and rolls Jarrett up for 2. Kid dodges a dropkick and gets a victory roll for 2. Jarrett fistdrop from the second rope. Kid ducks a clothesline and hits a spinning heel kick for 2. He goes for a senton off the top but Jarrett dodges. Jarrett tries to set up a superplex but Kid fights out and gets a crossbody off the top for 2. Rapid fire Kid kicks. Jarrett kicks his leg out of his leg and goes to work on it. He goes for the figure 4, but Kids rolls up a Paul Smackage to win! After the bell a pissed off Jarrett hits Kid with three piledrivers and three fistdrops off the second rope to nuclear heat. Kid has to be carried to the back. Good sprint. ***

We get a promo ad for the "New WWF Generation", saying guys like Hulk Hogan, Andre the Giant and the Iron Sheik are washed up has beens that don't matter anymore next to the new blood, which is something WWF was pushing hard at the time with the large roster overhaul over the past couple of years, and super ironic considering what the main event of this show turns out to be. After that, Bret Hart admits to Todd Pettingill that Diesel's jackknife powerbomb hurt like hell and he doesn't know if he can kick out after it, but it's not going to matter because Diesel won't do it to him again. He also refuses to spill the beans on who the secret Hart family member will be in his corner to counter Shawn Michaels.

 

WWF Championship: WWF Intercontinental Champion Diesel (w/Shawn Michaels) def Bret "Hitman" Hart (c) (w/Jim Neidhart) by DQ in 22:51- Diesel beat Ramon for the IC title on Superstars in April, kicking off his huge push that would see him win all three WWF titles in the same calendar year. This is the first in what would be a regular series of PPV matches for the WWF title between these two over the next 18 months. Donovan: "Who's the guy leading? (Monsoon answers it's Shawn Michaels) Is that another wrestler?" Bret's finally got the main event remix of the original Hart Foundation music. His old Hart Foundation partner Jim Neidhart coming out with him gets a good reaction. Commentary openly mentions that he's Bret's brother in law, something that was verboten when they were a regular team. After Diesel wins the initial lockup Bret tries a go behind takedown. Diesel backs him into the corner and back elbows him. Slugfest in the corner with Diesel eventually pounding Bret down and choking him with his boot. Bret comes back with a dodge and headbutt to the gut, then slips out of a slam attempt and gets a rollup for 2. Diesel catches a Bret crossbody and slams him. Donovan: "This is like David and Goliath!", Monsoon: "And we know how that one ended", Donovan: "Yeah, he hit him with a rock!". Donovan should be teaching bible study. Diesel elbows to the back of Bret's head. After another Bret dodge Diesel knees the top turnbuckle. Target acquired. Bret picks it apart. Figure four! Diesel uses his length to easily get to the ropes. Bret stays on the knee and locks in a spinning toe hold. Diesel uses his good leg to push Bret to the floor. Bret grabs his leg from the floor and posts his knee. Shawn charges and clotheslines Bret! Anvil chases Shawn around and through the ring. Hebner stops Anvil and Shawn takes another shot. Bret comes off the top rope. Diesel was supposed to catch him but can't keep his balance and they both fall down. Diesel picks Bret back up, resets a bit, and puts the bear hug he was supposed to have back on. Good recovery. Bret bites out. A dropkick in the back sends Diesel to the floor. Plancha! But Diesel dodges and Bret splats on the floor! He posts Bret's back and goes to work on it in the ring. Side suplex for 2. Bret tries to fight back but Diesel stops it with an eye poke. Bret bump! Cover for 2. Flash Bret roll up for 2. Shawn sneaks up and takes a top buckle pad off. Diesel hooks in a Canadian backbreaker. Bret leverages out and puts on a sleeper. Diesel backs him into the corner. Diesel goes for the exposed buckle, but Bret blocks it and Diesel takes the shot. Diesel's wobblelegged and Bret pounds away. Diesel does a very nice realistic fall like a boxing knockdown. Five Moves of Doom. Bret bulldog of the second rope with a nice Diesel 360 roll sell. He goes for the Sharpshooter but Shawn gets up on the apron. Bret removes him with the usual crazy over the top Shawn sell. Bret tries a backslide. Diesel fights it so Bret walks up the corner, flips over, and turns it into a small package for 2! Diesel refuses to do a corner whip. Not sure if that was legit, just selling, or a miscommunication. A Diesel big boot puts Bret back down. He calls for the jackknife. Bret grabs his legs, rolls over, and locks in the Sharpshooter! Diesel gets to the rope. A dropkick puts Diesel 360 and out again. Diesel attacks Anvil. While Hebner's messing with them Shawn whacks Bret from behind with the belt. Diesel drops an elbow and covers. Bret just kicks out! Shawn and Anvil fight as Diesel hits the jackknife. Anvil runs in and clotheslines Diesel! Hebner has no choice but to call for a DQ. Anvil is furious and leaves. Shawn and Diesel continue the beating on Bret, and Anvil never comes back out to help. Interesting. That was a long match to get to that finish, but it would dovetail into and advance the continuing Hart family rivalry so it's not as bad a finish as it could have been. Bret and Diesel also showed good chemistry that would serve them well over their multiple PPV matches until Nash's departure for WCW. ***3/4

 

Semifinals: Razor Ramon def Irwin R Schyster in 5:13- Ramon's limping a little. IRS riles up Ramon with his usual prematch promo so Ramon jumps him on the floor. Back in IRS gets a knee to the gut. He picks Ramon up and looks like he wants to drop him on the top rope, but can't get him all the way up and hits a backbreaker instead. Ramon dodges and IRS FLIES over the top and to the floor. More beatdown on the floor. IRS finally goes after Ramon's knee, then decides screw it and goes to the Rotunda chinlock instead. That kills a couple of minutes. More slugfest. Ramon drags IRS around by the tie. Ramon counters a backdrop, hits the Razor's Edge, and good night. It almost tried to be decent but they just couldn't get on the same page enough to do it. Very sloppy match, especially considering they just had an IC title feud and were familiar with each other. *

Cut to a pissed off Bret Hart backstage trying to find Neidhart.

 

Semifinals: "The Rocket" Owen Hart def The 1-2-3 Kid in 3:37- Donovan: "After this semifinal is the final right?". Yes Art, that's generally how tournaments work. Long delay on Kid's entrance before he comes out to sell the Jarrett beating. Commentary is shocked he showed up. Once he gets close to the ring Owen blindside baseball slides him! Tope suicida! He almost overshot Kid on that. Owen headbutt off the top rope for 2. Kid reverses a whip and Owen Bret bumps, then Kid hits a reverse crossbody off the top for a long 2. Armwringer/counterwrestling tradeoff. Series of rapid fire Kid kicks for 2. Owen hits an enzuguri with a Kid flip sell. Kid recovers to hit a northern lights suplex, and that gets a 3 count! But Owen *just* got his foot on a rope before the 3 and the ref waves it off. Owen rolls to the floor. Kid with a flying senton over the top to the floor! He tries a spinning heel kick but Owen blocks it and turns it into a German suplex with a bridge for another long 2. Kid slips out of a suplex attempt and does a victory roll. Owen reverses it for 2. Owen catches Kid on a leapfrog and plants him with a powerbomb. He hooks the Sharpshooter in and that's it. Tremendous sprint, very reminiscent of the short but awesome Randy Savage/Dynamite Kid match at The Wrestling Classic. ***1/4

 

WWF Tag Team Championship: The Headshrinkers (c) (w/Afa and Capt. Lou Albano) def Yokozuna and Crush (w/Jim Cornette and Mr. Fuji) in 9:16- The Headshrinkers turned face, got Capt. Lou out of retirement, and beat the Quebecers for the titles on Raw in April. Donovan on seeing the cavalcade of managers: "How many guys are wrestling now?" Also, "These guys from the Pacific Islands or what?". All four guys go nose to nose in the middle of the ring, leading to a slugfest. The Shrinkers are whipped into each other and they like it. The heels try headbutts and of course that goes nowhere. The Shrinkers double headbutt both heels to the ground. Slow reset with Yokozuna and Samu. After stupidly trying to slam Yokozuna, Samu hits a spinning kick and dropkick to send the behemoth to the floor again. After tags Fatu and Crush do some chest bumping. Fatu no sells a faceplant and hits a piledriver on Crush. Headbutt off the second rope for 2. Fuji pokes Fatu in the back with his flagpole and Fatu 360 sells a Crush clothesline. Crush with a piledriver. Heel double team and Yokozuna hits the big legdrop to a crowd gasp and Donovan going nuts. Samu breaks the pin up. Fatu dodges an avalanche and tags. Samu powerslams Crush. Clotheslines put Yokozuna down. The heels are whipped into each other. A double superkick sends Yokozuna to the floor again. Yokozuna gets posted, but Samu was on the top rope in the same corner and the vibration knocks him down and he gets crotched. Crush hits a superplex. Well, mini superplex as he was only on the second rope. Lex Luger, who was feuding with Crush, comes out. Samu rolls a distracted Crush up for 2. After a solid two minutes of Monsoon and Savage talking about Luger, Donovan asks "Who's the fella with the American flag?". Crush eats a superkick and gets pinned. After the bell Crush and Luger fight. The action was fine, but there were some real sloppy moments down the stretch. *3/4

 

King of the Ring Final: "The Rocket" Owen Hart def Razor Ramon in 6:35- After all the quick jumps in the tournament matches tonight we get a proper lockup in this one. Ramon gets the first shot in. Owen flips out of a back suplex attempt and slaps Ramon to piss him off. Ramon catches an Owen dropkick, slingshots him into the corner and rolls him up for 2. They do the bridge up spot. Ramon reverses the backslide for 2. Owen hits a spinning heel kick, then wraps up an abdominal stretch with rope leverage. Ramon blocks an Owen hiptoss, Owen flips over and Ramon catches him with a choke slam. Fallaway slam for 2. Owen flips out of a suplex attempt and hits a Russian leg sweep. He goes up top, but Ramon catches him and hits the back superplex. The Razor's Edge is set up, but Ramon's close to the ropes facing out so we know what's coming. Yup, Owen backdrops him to the floor. Anvil makes his way out. He helps Ramon up....then clotheslines him! After a post shot he rolls Ramon back in. Owen hits an elbow off the top rope, and pins Ramon to win the crown! Commentary is shocked, SHOCKED I tell you, at Anvil's turn. The Harts continue to beat on Ramon after the bell. Hart Attack! There's a message to Bret. **1/4

Cut to Raymond Rougeau backstage with Bret, who's too shocked to talk and walks away. Savage and Monsoon speculate that Anvil might have helped Bret earlier just so Owen would have a shot to take the title off him, and ignore Donovan completely. After that the coronation ceremony takes place. Owen says Anvil is the only person in his family he can trust and is his "main guy", and demands Anvil be the one to put the robe and crown him. Owen's first proclamation is from this day forth he will be known no longer as the Rocket, but as the King of Harts. So he has said, so it shall be.

 

"Rowdy" Roddy Piper def Jerry "The King" Lawler in 12:30- Two legends that have been wrestling since the '70s in the main event over the WWF title and the KOTR finals. It's the New WWF Generation, everyone! The feud and buildup to the match wasn't that bad, with Piper doing gritty realistic promos on cheap VHS camcorders rather than being in the arenas, and Lawler getting a 95 pound guy that did a great Piper impersonation to insult Piper. Super special bagpipe and drum corps entrance for Piper, and he's got the impersonator with him. They're buddies now. He throws his kilt over Lawler's face and goes to town. Lawler begs off. Big roundhouse right and Lawler literally crawls under the ropes to escape. Piper holds Lawler down and the kid eye pokes him. Rapid fire jabs. Donovan: "I don't think Piper likes this guy". He blocks a Lawler stomp and kicks his hamstring. An atomic drop sends Lawler to the floor again. He chases the impersonator down, and the next few minutes of the match is Piper saving his buddy and taking damage from Lawler so the kid doesn't have to. I mean, it's fairly psychologically sound if nothing else. Lawler punches rock Piper and he hooks on the sleeper. After the arm drops Piper gets to the ropes, but is still horribly wobblelegged and swinging wildly. Lawler hits a piledriver, but is slow to cover and Piper kicks out. He leans on the ropes and tells Lawler to give him more, which only gets Piper more fired up and back in the game. Piper with a bulldog. Another one. He goes for a third but Lawler blocks and we have a ref bump. Lawler gets knucks out of his tights and hits Piper with them. He covers and Hebner crawls over, counting super slow. Lawler puts his feet on the ropes for leverage, but before 3 the impersonator pushes them off. Piper uses the distraction to hit a back suplex with a bridge, and that gets a 3 count. As a special attraction match in the middle of the show that might have been fine, but not as a PPV main event in an era when there was still only five PPVs a year. It also likely would have gone over like gangbusters in Memphis or Charlotte or Greensboro in the mid-'80s, but not 1994 WWF. *

OVERALL SHOW THOUGHTS: Once again, another show booked heavily around the Harts means you're going to get a fair amount of quality no matter how rough the rest of the show is. Young Sean Waltman also continues to showcase the wrestling style of the future. Art Donovan is awful on commentary, but fun to listen to and laugh at awful rather than boring awful so that's something.

OVERALL SHOW GRADE: B-