Summerslam '94

Legacy Review

Summerslam '94

August 29, 1994 from the United Center in Chicago

Commentary: Vince McMahon and Jerry Lawler

Randy Savage is playing emcee again. Vince makes a big show of their being in the BRAND NEW United Center, and this was the first event ever to take place in the arena. They also announce that Shawn Michaels and Diesel defeated The Headshrinkers for the tag titles at a house show the previous night in Indianapolis, giving Big Daddy Cool two belts. The mega push continues.

Bam Bam Bigelow and Irwin R Schyster (w/Ted DiBiase) def The Headshrinkers (w/Afa and Capt. Lou Albano) by DQ in 7:20- This was to be a tag title match before the title change. Surprised DiBiase didn't make a show of trying to pay someone off to still get a shot at the belts. The Shrinkers take their time disrobing, leaving a drawbridge sized door open for a Suzuki-Gun ambush, but the heels hold back. I guess Rotunda is calling the plays instead of Bigelow, who was regularly jump starting matches during this WWF run. Bigelow and Fatu start. Shoulderblocks by Bigelow. Fatu hits a superkick for 2. He tries to slam Bigelow but it doesn't go as he drew it up and Bigelow gets a 2 count. Big Bigelow enzuguri! Fatu dodges the headbutt off the top rope and hits a clothesline. Double superkick! A veritable superkick party! Bigelow is in mega selling mode tonight, and he and the Samoans are enjoying a little snugness with each other. Samu flips IRS around. Bigelow pulls the rope down on Samu and he crashes to the floor. Samu's head is rammed into the briefcase and he actually sells it. Big Samu/Bigelow midring collision followed by tags. Backdrops for everyone. Samu headbutt off the second rope for 2. Double headbutt on IRS, followed by a double front legsweep (AKA Skull Crushing Finale). Fatu hits a splash off the top that should finish it but DiBiase has the ref distracted. Bigelow takes out Albano. Afa takes out Bigelow and the ref calls for the bell. The faces clear the ring, then decide they haven't had enough and all four guys brawl up the aisle and through an arena side door. Crap finish, but everyone had their working boots (or ankle tape in the Headshrinkers' case) on and the match kept the pace up with no long face in peril stuff. **1/2

Cut to the first Fashion Files Police Squad-style skit starring Leslie "Frank Drebin" Nielsen himself. The premise is he's searching for the Undertaker. The REAL Undertaker. He follows some signs and thinks he's found him, but it's only his Naked Gun co-star George Kennedy. "By George, we're on the case!" Literally. They're standing on a case. It's bottom barrel pseudo-Zucker brothers stuff, but it's mostly cheesy fun.

 

WWF Women's Championship: Alundra Blayze (c) def Bull Nakano (w/Luna Vachon) in 8:10- WWF brought in All-Japan Women's Wrestling star Nakano as a ringer (kayfabe brought in by Luna) to try to give Blayze some suitable competition as none of the other women on the roster could come close to keeping up with her. Nakano comes in to the Orient Express' old music. They do the traditional Japanese flower ceremony. Luna takes a swing at Blayze with flowers and quickly skedaddles. Both women cautiously offer a handshake, but Nakano jumps in with a kick. She tosses Blayze around by her hair. Nakano no sells gut punches and hits a big clothesline and legdrop. Mandatory USA crowd chant as Nakano works a chinlock and keeps building heat. Blayze with a hurricanrana outta nowhere for 2! Nakano takes back over with a choke and slam. She hooks in a one arm Boston Crab, putting both of Blayze's legs under one armpit. Blayze fights and eventually gets to the rope. Nakano switches into the scorpion crossface, but also uses hair so she's forced to break. Blayze gets a flash roll up, but Nakano switches it around into a Fujiwara armbar! Blazye gets out, starts running, and hits a series of slingblades! She tries for a piledriver but Nakano backdrops out. Huge Nakano clothesline. Blayze leapfrogs over in the corner and gets a backslide for 2. Nakano catches Blayze and powerbombs her for 2. She goes up top but Blayze dodges the butt splash, hits a bridged German suplex, and gets the pin and a good pop! Slow start, really good closing stretch. They also got a mid-'90s WWF crowd to care about a women's match, no small feat. **3/4

 

WWF Intercontinental Championship: Razor Ramon (w/Walter Payton) def Diesel (c) (w/Shawn Michaels) in 15:03- I don't think there's any reason Payton is here other than to pop the hometown crowd. Also, for some reason I fell compelled to mention the greatest running back in NFL history is Emmitt Smith. There's a bit of a pop happening for the heels, especially Diesel. Not much, but it's starting. Both these guys have come a long way since their struggles to grab a foothold in WCW. Shawn jaws with Payton in the ring. Ramon gives Diesel the toothpick flick and dives right in off the distraction. Punches send Diesel crashing to the floor. Shawn tries to psych him back up. Back in they go for a lockup, but Diesel gets a knee to the gut instead and works Ramon's back with power blows. Ramon ducks a big boot and hits a clothesline. Diesel responds with a back elbow in the corner. He does the boot choke in the corner with Shawn helping. Diesel hooks in a sleeper. Ramon back suplexes out. Ramon misses a dive and crashes to the floor. Shawn hops up and takes a turnbuckle pad off, which is how Diesel originally beat Ramon for the title. Payton and Shawn get into it again on the floor. Hebner backs Payton off, allowing Shawn to sneak around and hit Ramon with a diving clothesline off the steps. Ramon barely beats the count back in. Soon to be vintage Nash/Diesel measured elbows in the corner. He goes to whip Ramon into the exposed buckle, but Hebner literally gets up in the corner and blocks it with his body! A very Red Shoes move there. Shawn gets Hebner distracted and Ramon takes the buckle shot. Diesel side suplex for 2. Snake eyes! More heel double teaming. Diesel hits a big boot and covers. Ramon gets a foot on the rope. Abdominal stretch with rope leverage. Payton helps Hebner figure it out to break the hold. Diesel goes for snake eyes again, this time into the exposed buckle, but Ramon pushes Diesel into it instead. Ricochet roll up for a long 2. The crowd bit on that one hard. Ramon bulldog off the second rope for another long 2. He sets up the back superplex but Diesel elbows out and calls for the Jackknife. Ramon backdrops out and calls for the Razor's Edge. Shawn gets on the apron again. Diesel uses the distraction to hit a clothesline from behind and a flying tackle. Both guys are down. Shawn grabs the IC belt but Payton stops him from taking it into the ring. Double team setup....Shawn superkicks Diesel! Ramon slowly crawls over, covers, and gets the pin and the title back! Massive pop for the win. As they're leaving Diesel is not at all pleased with Shawn. This was the seed that would lead to their eventual breakup and Diesel's face turn. As usual for an intra-Kliq match there was maximum effort given, but it was also well laid out and did a good job of using Diesel and Shawn as a team to make the mountain for Ramon to climb that much higher before it all came crashing down for the heels, while Payton hit his bits right and wasn't overused. Well done all around. ***1/2

Todd Pettingill (man, how great was he at In Your House '21, which was just last night for me as I write this) is with Lex Luger and Tatanka. Interesting story here. Both guys are faces, but Tatanka is accusing Luger of selling out to DiBiase and secretly joining the Million Dollar Corporation, and has a ton of circumstantial video evidence to prove his point. Luger, of course, denies everything. Pettingill brings out the not at all skewed WWF hotline opinion poll that shows 54% of respondents think he did indeed sell out. Like any Zogby or online poll, that poll's likely not worth the paper it's printed on.

 

Tatanka def "Made in the USA" Lex Luger in 6:02- Boos for Tatanka on his entrance, showing the crowd is ahead of the swerve curve. Luger also gets some boos but that's probably just Chicago. More "you sold out" arguing in the ring. Luger hits a shoulderblock. Lawler: "Well that proves he sold out, that's the exact same shoulderblock DiBiase does!". Never mind the fact that virtually every other wrestler in the world does that move. I could pick out 2 or 3 Lawler comments every match that drive me nuts but I'm not burying the review in them. At least Art Donovan was unintentionally funny. Tatanka crossbody for 2. Luger small package for 2. Slugfest as things start to break down. Luger hits a suplex but Tatanka dodges the big elbow drop. He starts war dancing up and hits chops. Chop off the top rope for 2. He goes up top again but Luger dodges. Clotheslines (that Tatanka sells before contact). DiBiase is out with the cheap bag full of presumably not cheap money. As he flashes the money at Luger Tatanka sneaks up and gets Generic Raw Finish 1A, the distraction rollup! Luger is furious. Tatanka says it is what it is. Luger turns to DiBiase and kicks the money bag away....but while his back is turned Tatanka hits him from behind! TATANKA SOLD OUT THAT SON OF A BITCH! THAT INGRATE! HE TOOK THE BOX OF TOY PADDLE BALLS FOR ALL HIS LAND! (That last one is a Blazing Saddles reference for all you young'uns out there. Watch it if you haven't and thank me later.) After a couple of Samoan drops Tatanka and DiBiase hug. BAH GAWD HE SOLD HIS SOUL TO SATAN HIMSELF! As they leave Tatanka says to the camera that they fooled us all. DiBiase says go give him some more. This has already gone on longer than the match, why not? Tatanka puts a stamp on it by putting the Million Dollar Dream on Luger and stuffing his mouth with a $100 bill. *1/2

 

"Double J" Jeff Jarrett def Mabel (w/Oscar) in 5:45- This is billed as "country vs rap". If that's the case, I'm rooting for the ref. Jarrett goes after Oscar before the match. Mabel shockingly wins the lockup. Jarrett avoids a follow up charge and struts. Mabel tosses Jarrett around and mocks his strut. Jarrett manages to leapfrog Mabel but takes an elbow drop in the back, followed by a 360 and out clothesline. Jarrett shoves Oscar into the steps and grabs Mabel's leg from the floor to trip him down. He hits a series of moves off the second rope, then tries off the top, but Mabel catches him. Jarrett climbs Mabel's back and locks in a sleeper. Mabel backs him into the corner and continues to squash him. Mabel spinning heel kick! That gets a 2 count. We get a quick shot of Abe "Knuckleball" Schwartz in the crowd with an "On strike" sign, Vince's attempt at mocking the impending baseball strike that infamously shut down the '94 season. Mabel hits a powerslam and they do some obvious repositioning so Jarrett can get a foot on the rope on the count. Jarrett eye rakes Mabel and goes after Oscar again. Mabel holds Jarrett down and Oscar slaps him. Mabel goes for a dive off the second rope. Jarrett rolls away and tries a sunset flip. Mabel tries to butt splash him, but Jarrett avoids it and covers Mabel for 3. At least the right guy won. 3/4*

The lights go out and Vince "finds" our two "supersleuths" Nielsen and Kennedy on the aisle. A silhouette of the Undertaker appears in the entrance tunnel, but when they turn around to look it's gone.

The heavy blue bar cage still requires a long setup time, so we get a lengthy and detailed video recap of the Hart brothers feud, including the inclusion of Jim Neidhart. While the cage is being finalized Vince and Lawler have some words with the Hart family at ringside. Brother in law British Bulldog is there, making his WWF return after a couple of years in WCW and elsewhere. Neidhart is also hanging out in the back making trouble. Everyone in the family is now blaming him for turning Owen against them. The prematch sizzle is capped off with a great main event level promo from Bret. Promos were the one semi-weak part of his game at one point, but not anymore. That's something modern WWE really needs to relearn, especially for PPVs: one great prematch promo is worth five 10 minute long recap packages.

 

Steel Cage Match for the WWF Championship: Bret "Hitman" Hart (c) def "The King of Harts" Owen Hart in 32:22- It's WWF traditional escape only rules tonight. During the entrances there's a serious big match feel. Owen jumps Bret as soon as he gets in the cage and pounds him down. Bret comes back with an inverted atomic drop and clothesline. Owen chokes Bret with his own singlet straps. Bret blocks a cage shot, hits a DDT, and starts the first climb before Owen grabs him. Owen enzuguri. He tries a climb and gets a leg over before Bret drags him back. While he's still standing on the top rope Bret gives him a back suplex. Bret goes for the door. Owen grabs his foot to stop him. After some more back and forth Bret hits a bulldog. He tries for the door again, and they go through a great sequence where they leap over each other multiple times trying to get out the door only to have the other stop it. After a short reset in the middle Bret climbs again. Owen gets him down and gives him the Flair slam off the top rope. Owen starts to climb and gets both legs over. Bret gets up, grabs him, and pulls him back in. Slugfest in the corner on the top rope. Bret falls and Owen hits him with a missile dropkick. He kips up and jumps over onto the cage to climb. Bret follows. They bite each other on top of the cage. Bret rams the back of Owen's head into the cage! Back in the middle again. Bret backdrops out of a piledriver. Speed run and midring collision! Owen tries for the door, then Bret tries another climb. Bret tries to kick Owen away. Owen grabs his leg, pulls, and Bret falls hard crotch first over the top rope! Owen goes for the door again. Bret drags him away and gives him the gut stomp. Bret's down too, still selling getting crotched on the rope. He tries an elbow off the second rope but Owen dodges it. Owen climbs again. Bret just gets up and grabs Owen's hair after he's over to the other side. Owen lets his legs loose and he dangles over the floor with only Bret grabbing his hair holding him up! The crowd's going crazy. Finally Bret drags Owen back in by the hair. Bret gets one leg over and Owen just stops him. Owen pulls Bret down onto his shoulders and hits him with a Samoan drop. Another close Bret save. Bret blocks a cage shot and Owen takes it! Bret goes up and gets both legs over. Owen barely stops and gets him back in. The crowd is eating every little last bit of this up. Another back superplex. Owen hits a piledriver. Another climb and Bret save. Owen knocks Bret down to the mat but falls down himself. Bret crawls for the door. Owen grabs him. Bret gives his all to drag himself and Owen through the door but can't. Owen slides for the door. Bret grabs his legs, drags him to the middle, and slingshots him into the cage! Bret goes for the door again. When he's almost out Owen pops up, LEAPS across the ring, and just stops him! Owen slips out of a slam and pushes Bret toward the cage, but Bret ducks and Owen runs face first into the steel! But Bret also whacked his knee on the cage. After some recovery time Bret goes up and Owen just gets him by the hair to stop him. Owen spinning heel kick. They go up again and have another slugfest perched precariously on the top rope. Owen falls down, pops back up and drags Bret down. Another midring collision. One of Owen's boots is loose but he's fighting through it because he's a wrestler. He climbs again in the corner. Bret goes up, hooks him.....SUPERPLEX FROM THE TOP OF THE CAGE! Bret crawls for the door. Owen grabs him and hooks in a Sharpshooter! Brets grabs a boot, muscles out, and reverses into his own Sharpshooter! Bret tries a climb but Owen leaps up and grabs his head to stop it. Owen goes over. Bret follows and also goes over. The tension is seriously palpable as the crowd senses the finish coming. They're both halfway down. Bret blocks a cage shot. Owen takes a cage shot! He falls down, but his feet get tangled up in the cage and he dangles upside down! Bret drops, hits the floor, and wins! That was an absolute masterpiece. A work of art. Every moment, every move had a logical place in the carefully crafted whole, they sold their fatigue at a perfect rate as the match progressed, had the crowd engrossed the entire time, and they even got a big highspot in. This is the greatest blue bar cage match ever, and the greatest escape rules cage match ever. *****

After the bell Neidhart ambushes Bret from behind. He and Owen get Bret back in the cage, lock the door, and beat him down while keeping all the other Hart brothers from climbing in. Owen even takes advantage of his loose boot to take it off and beat Bret with it. Finally Bulldog gets in and chases the heels off, with Neidhart leaving one of his sneakers behind to die so he can escape. That's a pretty standard postmatch cage beatdown spot in Jim Crockett or WCW, but I think this is the first time WWF really did something like it.

That should have been the main event, but we're not done....

MAIN EVENT STORY RECAP- OK, bear with me here. Taker lost a casket match to Yokozuna at the Rumble and floated away to rafters unknown. A few months later, Paul Bearer said he'd had no contact with Taker, but Ted DiBiase claimed that he did. DiBiase reintroduced the "Undertaker" on weekly TV. There was some long term symmetry here as it was DiBiase that originally brought Taker in to start with at Survivor Series '90. DiBiase controlled his Taker with the all powerful greenback while Bearer swore up and down he was faker than those leaked plans for the Dominion to invade Romulus (look up the "IT'S A FAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE" meme if you're lost on that one). DiBiase got his Taker to attack Bearer, who was saved by the magic of Undertaker's Dong. Bearer said the real Taker had returned from Valinor or wherever he was and would eliminate the imposter at Summerslam.

 

The (Real) Undertaker (w/Paul Bearer) def The (Fake) Undertaker (w/Ted DiBiase) in 8:57- For convenience and brevity I'm going to call them Taker and Faker. I think you can tell which is which. Faker's walk on his entrance is as much as a giveaway as anything else, it's not even close. To clarify, Faker is not being played by Glenn "Kane" Jacobs, but by Brian "Chainz" Lee. Bearer comes out to Taker's original music, and has druids rolling the XXXXXL casket from the Rumble with him. He open the casket, and inside is....a jumbo size urn. The lights go out. Bearer opens the urn and a light comes out of it. Are you sure that's not a melted down Ark of the Covenant? Don't look at it, Marion! There's a bunch of Nazis in the crowd with melted faces. Lightning and thunder roll through the arena. A new version of Taker's music plays, and the real thing makes his entrance, with purple lighting and purple trimmed ring gear for the first time. After a mirror disrobing Taker and Faker have the famous nose to nose shot. Taker does the throat slash and blocks a Faker punch. Shoulderblock standoff. During a speed run Taker hits a big boot, and a throat thrust sends Faker to the floor. Faker stalks Bearer. Taker pulls him up by his hair and suplexes him back in. Faker drops Taker's throat over the top rope. He tries the rope walk but Taker flips him off and shows him how it's done. Faker gives Taker a really shitty hot shot. The crowd was hot for Taker's entrance but isn't into the match at all. Faker tries to pound Taker down, can't do it, and gets frustrated. Faker choke slam. Taker sits up. Faker tombstone! Taker sits up. Faker goes for another tombstone. Taker reverses it and plants the imposter, then hits two more tombstones because that guy's really pissed him off. It's academic after that. After the bell Taker rolls Faker into the casket and he's carted off, never to be heard from again. The match was crap, but the whole story and presentation was entertaining its own way. 1/2*

Cut back to Nielsen and Kennedy in the back with the casket. They lift the lid and it's empty. But hey, it's OK. The case is closed! Literally, there's a briefcase there, and it's closed. Those bits got worse and worse as the show went on. I mean, three segments and you recycle the same basic case gag for two of them?

OVERALL SHOW THOUGHTS: With an all time great WWF title match, a good IC title match, some out there Taker fun, a well done heel turn and a mostly serviceable undercard, this is one of the better shows of a very rough era. I do have to knock it down a bit for poor match order though. Put the Taker stuff in the middle of the show and WWF title match where it should be at the end and you might be pushing an A-. The main event matters.

OVERALL SHOW GRADE: B