Clash of the Champions XIII

Legacy Review

Clash of the Champions XIII: Thanksgiving Thunder

November 20, 1990 from the Jacksonville Memorial Coliseum in the future home of AEW Jacksonville, FL

Commentary: Jim Ross and Paul E Dangerously

The Fabulous Freebirds (w/Little Richard Marley) def The Southern Boys in 4:50- This is the third straight Clash featuring this matchup as the opening match. What is this, Raw? Gary Michael Capetta announces it as a 6 man, which is was scheduled to be, then stumbles all over himself. Bobby Eaton comes out with the 'Birds as their scheduled partner. After the Boys come out alone Hayes (wearing crazy yellow lipstick) takes the mic and asks where their partner, El Gigante, is? Hayes says he's in Delta airlines cargo (Turner plug!) inside a giant box labelled "return to Argentina" courtesy of the greatest rock & roll band of all time! They want it to be a handicap match but since they bragged about taking Gigante out the ref says it'll be a straight tag match and orders Eaton back to the locker room. The real reason for the switch was Gigante got hurt. Garvin and Smothers start. After a long speed run Smothers hiptosses and dropkicks everyone, including Marley. The Boys work the spot where Armstrong blindsides the 'Birds with a crossbody off the top. Smothers slams and double clotheslines both heels. A Hayes straight left sends Smothers flying off the apron into the barricade. Garvin gets slammed off the top rope. The Freebirds work the ref and double suplex Smothers. Armstrong comes off the top again and backdrops Garvin over the top onto the ramp. Armstrong dives over the top rope onto Garvin! While they're fighting Marley trips Smothers, Hayes plants him with a DDT, and gets the pin. Both teams were on autopilot until the finish. Play the hits, donnybrook, go home. *3/4

Sting is with Tony Schiavone for a promo to hype up his promo segment later tonight with the Black Scorpion. It's like a trailer for a trailer. As they try to kick to commercial Ole Anderson's voice interrupts and says Sting will see his "great powers of black magic" tonight, because that's sure worked so far. Scorpion wouldn't know avada kedavra from alohamora.

"Flyin'" Brian Pillman def "Nature Boy" Buddy Landell in 5:52- This is a rematch from Great American Bash. Landell pounds away and hits short clotheslines. He goes for an arrogant cover and Pillman rolls him over for 2. Pillman small package for 2. He clotheslines Landell onto the ramp. Pillman springboard clothesline! Landell backdrops out of a piledriver attempt on the ramp. A knee sends Pillman off the apron and into the guardrail. They take turns dodging and getting posted on the floor. Pillman tries for a plancha, sees Landell dodging, lands on the apron and does a springboard reverse crossbody off the second rope instead! Landell kills things with an abdominal stretch. Pillman tries another springboard reverse in the ring but Landell catches him and hits a backbreaker. He goes for a superplex. Pillman fights out and hits a crossbody off the top for 3. Surprisingly good for a Landell match. Pillman was already good enough to carry just about anyone if he got the chance to hit his flippydo. **

 

The Big Cat def Brad Armstrong in 4:31- Big Cat is the future bodyguard to the stars Mr. Hughes. Armstrong is still in his "Candyman" phase. He's even got candy canes on his boots for frak's sake. Armstrong plays dodge the big guy for a bit until he bounces off Cat's shoulderblocks. Cat catches Armstrong on a crossbody attempt and hits a trio of backbreakers. Bear hug, followed by Cat ramming Armstrong into the corner. Armstrong dodges an avalanche and hits a nice Okada-like standing dropkick. Cat dodges a second, puts Armstrong in the torture rack because he's trying to start a beef with Lex Luger, and the ref stops the match. That's an important point, the ref *stops the match*. Do NOT tell JR Armstrong quit because that's completely impossible. Paul E needles him for all it's worth and JR fires back. Those two were really good together. Armstrong was mostly locked into the spunky babyface jobber role, but he's a guy I'd really like to see today as a junior heavyweight in New Japan or something, I think he could do some good. Very underrated in his day. 3/4*

 

"The Z Man" Tom Zenk def Brian Lee in 3:10- Lee is making his WCW debut here after cutting his teeth under Jerry Jarrett in Memphis. He'd go on to have decent runs in SMW and ECW, but his biggest claim to fame was being the fake Undertaker in the Undertaker vs Undertaker match at Summerslam '94. After some shoulderblock standoffs Zenk catches Lee with a karate kick while he's jawing with the crowd. Zenk hiptosses Lee then jumps up for a springboard reverse crossbody from the top despite the fact that Lee is miles away in the opposite corner. Needless to say, he misses worse than an Iron headbutt from the last Clash. The hell was that? They go speed and Zenk hits a dropkick. Lee gets a sucker punch and works some generic offense. Zenk tries to walk him through the last part of the match, not completely successfully, before hitting a missile dropkick off the top to end it. Losing to Zenk, who had been putting other debuting talent over, was not a good sign for Lee's immediate career trajectory. 1/2*

Tony is with Mike Rotunda, his new personal assistant Alexandra York and her early '90s personal computer. Rotunda is furious Tony called him Rotunda and says he's legally changed his name to Michael Wallstreet. Why? You'll find out next Saturday on The Michael Wallstreet Story. York says they're computerizing their strategery, and the computer is never wrong.

 

Michael Wallstreet def The Starblazer in 4:15- Starblazer is Tim Horner in a mask. He looks so much like a red Blue Blazer the resemblance has to be deliberate. He does a funny little run coming to the ring to zero crowd reaction. See, these one night unknown masked men could work fine as a heel but they were DOA as a face. That's something Jim Herd could never figure out but you'd think Ole Anderson would know better. Rotunda gets an amateur waistlock takedown and pushes Starblazer around with his foot, mocking him. Someone in the crowd shouts "BORING". Blazer gets a hiptoss and dropkicks and Rotunda (shock) stalls and reconsults the computer. After momentuming Blazer to the floor Rotunda puts on the Rotunda Abdominal Stretch. Change the name all you want, it's still Rotunda. Blazer slips out of a suplex and gets a roll up for 2. More Blazer offense follows with the crowd all metaphorically staring at their phones. Rotunda tries for a Boston crab but Blazer keeps rolling out. Finally Rotunda hits the Wall Street Crash (a Samoan drop) and wins. 1/4*

Gordon Solie runs down this week's top 10 rankings lists. Looking at the tag team side it's amazing how the deepest tag division in wrestling history just a couple of short months ago has completely imploded into a bunch of lower card also-rans and never weres randomly thrown together. Speaking of tag teams, after that is a preview video for the upcoming Pat O'Conner Memorial Tag Team Tournament that will take place at Starrcade '90, featuring Olympic-style international competition. The Steiner Brothers have been set as the top seed representing the US with WCW semi-regulars Great Muta and Mr. Saito from Japan #2. The rest.....er.....we'll get back to you on that *frantically checks messages to see if anyone's called back on the offer yet*.

 

Pat O'Connor Memorial Tournament Qualifying Match: Sgt. Krueger and Col. DeKlerk (South Africa) def The Beast and Kaluha (Non-Apartheid Africa) in 4:48- This is billed alternately as "the African qualifier" and "the African final", like there was a whole tournament of African teams leading to this. I have serious doubts if Krueger or DeKlerk could find South Africa on a map, much less be from there. In fact they are Matt Bourne (future Big Josh and original heel Doink the Clown) and Rocco Rock of Public Enemy. Krueger and Kaluha start. Kreuger sells some stuff and tags. The "other" African team are supposed to be the faces but the crowd isn't sure/doesn't care. DeKlerk cartwheels out of a wristlock and gets a rollup, then hits a springboard .7 moonsault! Beast hits a flying clothesline on Kreuger. DeKlerk offers him an insincere handshake to finally get a bit of heat from the crowd. Beast powerslams him. DeKlerk goes to the top and moonsaults over Beast! Coming off the top again Beast catches and powerslams him again. Kreuger breaks the pin up and we're donnybrooking. The heels double team Beast to pin him and move on to Starrcade to join the tournament with the Steiners, the Japanese team, and whoever else shows up don't ask us such detailed questions we'll circle back to that. 1/2*

Recap of the Lex Luger/Stan Hansen feud over the US title. Luger is getting his rematch at Starrcade. During his prematch promo Big Cat interrupts and Luger pops him.

 

"The Total Package" Lex Luger def The Motor City Madman in 2:34- The Madman is a big guy that had a short and unimpressive career. His look and gimmick are kind of like Silas Young and the Beer City Bruiser had a baby that was a terrible wrestler. Luger looks annoyed by his pyro and kind of brushes it away. Cat stalks him on his entrance but Luger gets the better of him again. They slug it out on the ramp until refs run in to drag Cat off. Madman's being a good boy and watching it all from the ring. Idiot. Finally he jumps Luger as he's getting in the ring. Luger ducks a clothesline and hits a crossbody. Madman tries to suplex Luger onto the entrance ramp. Luger blocks and juuuuuuuuuust barely lifts Madman over the top rope in what was supposed to be a suplex but looked more like an elaborate DDT. Madman hits a side suplex and Luger backdrops out of a piledriver attempt. Luger hits a huge lariat to win, a message to Stan Hansen. That was a sneak preview of the massively unmotivated Luger we'd see throughout 1991. 1/4*

 

The Renegade Warriors def The Nasty Boys by DQ in 4:49- The Nastys and the Steiner Brothers have been engaged in a heated US tag title feud, but we can't have a big title match on this show, no, that'd make too much sense. JR is so confident in the Steiners that he promises to quit if the Nastys beat them for the titles. Paul E acts like it's Christmas. Talk like that makes me think the plan was for the Nastys to win the titles before they bolted for WWF. Saggs and Mark Youngblood start with cautious lockups until Saggs gets a cheap shot. Double suplex by the Nastys. The Youngbloods blind tag and Chris gets a crossbody on Knobbs for 2. Armdrags on both Nastys. Saggs tosses Mark over the top to the floor behind the ref's back and Knobbs gives him a rail shot. The heels work some bland Indian in peril stuff on Mark (with a funny moment when Chris beats on their ceremonial drum and gets booed by the crowd) until the Steiners run in and attack them for the DQ. The Nastys quickly bail. 3/4*

 

Sid Vicious def The Nightstalker in 3:30- Nightstalker is a young and still pretty green Bryan Clarke, better known as Adam Bomb from WWF or Wrath from Bischoff era WCW. He's got a giant cardboard ax with him. Sid gets a bit of a face pop even though he's technically still a heel (and to be fair with the Horsemen/Doom feud those lines were a bit blurred at this time). Stalker wants a test of strength to start. After that is the big man shoulderblock standoff. Stalker grabs a bear hug. Sid bell rings out and Stalker puts him right back into it. After a bit Sid punches out with Stalker showing he has almost no idea how to properly sell yet. It's a sad day when Sid is not the worst seller in a singles match. As Stalker is working Sid's ribs (with Paul E on commentary adroitly reminding the audience about Sid's punctured lung from the year prior) Big Cat comes out AGAIN. Is there anyone he's not trying to start a feud with? Sid back suplexes Stalker and punches Cat. Man, no one is ever pleased to see him. Stalker charges with the cheap cardboard ax. Sid dodges and Cat gets it. He picks the ax up, nudges Stalker with it, and pins him. The heels go into beatdown mode until Sid squeaks away. Just when you think this show has hit the bottom.....DUD

The Freebirds are out for a promo only to be interrupted by the Southern Boys and EL GIGANTE. Man, UPS can't ship anything right.

 

NWA United States Tag Team Championship: The Steiner Brothers (c) def Magnum Force in 1:57- Remember that team Maximum Overdrive the Steiners squashed on the last Clash? This is the SAME TEAM. Change the name, throw them out there again. I don't know what names they're using tonight and really don't care. Scott does some mat wrestling. One of the Force guys looks like he doesn't want to play ball with Rick so Rick stiffs the shit out of him. The Frankensteiner finishes it. After the bell the Nastys run in and both teams brawl again. This feud never got the big blowoff because, as mentioned previously, Vince stole the Nastys away before the end of the year. Really should have had it on this show. NR

Next up is the semi-main promo segment, Paul E's Danger Zone with Sting finally getting to confront the Black Scorpion face to face. Or so we're promised. After a recap of the feud that started potentially OK and got dumber and dumber as it went on Sting comes out. He and Paul E are interrupted by "spooky" music and the Scorpion, again with Ole Anderson's terribly obvious dubbing over the mic, comes onto the ramp and does a bunch more cheap stage magic that probably wouldn't impress a 19th century British music hall crowd. He turns an audience plant into a tiger then vanishes with the same trick used at Halloween Havoc. This is one of the worst promo segments I've ever seen and was really the last nail in the coffin of any chance the whole Black Scorpion mess could have a chance at any kind of a decent resolution.

 

"Nature Boy" Ric Flair (w/Arn Anderson) def NWA World Tag Team Champion Butch Reed (w/Ron Simmons and Teddy Long) in 14:13- This is part of the continuing Horsemen/Doom world tag title feud. If Flair wins, he and Arn get another shot at the belts at Starrcade and Teddy Long has to be his chauffeur for a day. If Reed wins, Doom gets Flair's limo and luxury yacht. After some Slick Ric at the start Reed lays in with the power. Back and forth chops in the corner. Reed gets a press slam. A clothesline sends Flair 360 and out. Simmons gets a shot in. Flair wanders onto the ramp and eats a Reed clothesline. Back in they do the bridge/backslide spot with Reed getting a 2 count. Flair goes to the ol' eye poke to get some space. He kicks Reed's gut a few times and taunts Simmons with the Florida Gator chomp gesture. Flair chops. He works ref Nick Patrick to toss Reed over the top to the floor. Arn nails him with a clothesline outside. That'll teach Doom to think they can outcheat the Horsemen. Not on your best night, pal. More chops in the corner and Reed comes back with punches. Flair gets pummeled with punches. Flair Flop! Flair Flip! And he falls off the apron right into a Simmons punch! Flair gets control back as he gets back in and does the snap mare/kneedrop combo. Reed dodges a second kneedrop. Reed hooks in a figure four! Flair sells it like crazy for a bit and eventually gets to the ropes. Patrick has to drag Reed off. Huge Reed suplex for 2. Flair dodges an elbow off the second rope. Reed pops out of the corner with a clothesline and does some ground and pound. Flair's bleeding just a little. Another press slam. Arn drags Patrick out of the ring even though Flair kicked out. Reed hits a tackle off the top rope and covers Flair for a sure 3, but Patrick is outside arguing with both Long and Arn. Flair backdrops Reed to the floor and he lands on Patrick and Long! Simmons comes in and kills Flair with a clothesline. Arn counters by whacking Reed with a chair. Flair crawls over, and Patrick gets back in to count the pin. Perfectly average if overbooked, even for a heel vs heel match, but on this show it almost felt like a 5 star classic. I also think the wrong guy for Doom was in there. Simmons was still raw, but he had shown flashes of brilliance in Doom's tag matches and Flair was more than capable of guiding him through a good to great match. The title match at Starrcade ended up being Arn and Windham challenging when Flair was pressed into trying to save the finale of the Black Scorpion angle. **1/2

OVERALL SHOW THOUGHTS- Yikes. The Jim Herd/Ole Anderson era Clashes were definitely going for quantity over quality but this is still a disaster. 11 matches, peaking at **1/2, two at ** or over and EIGHT under *, plus an absolute train wreck of a big time promo segment and very little angle advancement to offset the lack of match quality. And we still have a whole year of Herd left to go, even though Dusty Rhodes was about to return and take the head booker spot back from Ole. JR and Paul E are fun on commentary at least.

OVERALL SHOW GRADE: D-