Battlebowl

Legacy Review

Battlebowl

November 20, 1993 from the Pensacola Civic Center in Pensacola, FL

Commentary: Tony Schiavone and Jesse Ventura

After being featured on the past two Starrcades, Battlebowl (and by extension the Lethal Lottery though that name strangely isn't used on this show) takes over as its own PPV in the brand new November WCW PPV slot. Teams are "randomly" drawn throughout the night to participate in 20 minute time limit tag matches, and the winners all face each other at the end in the Battlebowl battle royale for the grand prize of the night. Sadly, this not being a New Japan show, it's not a big honking trophy.

Mean Gene and Fifi are handling the drawing duties tonight. Vader hilariously knocks over the blonde jobber in front of him whose name I honestly can't recall when his name is called. Okerlund calls for Kole (Booker T) but Kane (Stevie Ray) comes out instead. Tony says "It's one of Harlem Heat, who cares?". Booker's reaction to his brother getting stuck with Charlie Norris is also pretty funny, and understandable.

WCW World Heavyweight Champion Big Van Vader and Cactus Jack (w/Harley Race) def Charlie Norris and Kane in 7:34- Big shock recent blood rivals Vader and Jack end up on the same Lethal Lottery team. As soon as they see each other on the ramp they start fighting. Vader punches Race! It didn't look accidental either, Vader just wanted him out of the way. The other team slowly works their way in and the bell rings with Jack and Kane in the ring. Race convinces Vader to see the big picture, you gotta win to get in Battlebowl. Vader pummels Kane on the floor. Jack punches Vader aside. Race manages to make peace between them. Give that man a Nobel Peace Prize, he'd be far from the worst winner its ever had. Tony goes through their history, mentioning amnesia and Cleveland. Yeah, we don't actually ever need to bring any of that up again thanks Tony. Vader tags in with zero issue and scalps Norris. Vader bomb! He tosses Norris to the floor, and holds him for Jack to hit a cannonball senton off the apron! Bang bang! Norris might be legit knocked loopy, Vader tries to whip him and he just spins in a circle. Or that might just be Norris. Vader tackles him anyway. Jack hits a back suplex. Kane breaks the pin up, gets tagged in and gets some offense in. A Norris big boot sends Jack to the floor. Norris runs out of moves and hooks in a chinlock. Vader says screw your rest holds. Jack kick wham DDT on Kane. Tag to Vader. He fantastically no sells all of Norris' offense and runs him over to a pretty big pop. Big splash. He lifts Norris up for a powerbomb, legit loses his balance and gets saved by the ropes. It was ugly, but that gets the pin. Vader and Jack put in enough effort into the wrestling and angle to make this borderline watchable despite all the dead weight they had to drag. *1/2

We cut back to Okerlund and he's molesting Fifi. "She looks good enough to eat, I don't mind saying". Talk about lines that would be a lawsuit nowadays. This stuff goes on all night every time they cut to Okerlund and Fifi. It gets old really quick.

 

WCW World Tag Team Champion Brian Knobbs and Johnny B Badd (w/Missy Hyatt) def Erik Watts and Paul Roma in 12:56- Well. We have three guys of various degrees of suckage, and Badd, who's getting better but not nearly good enough to carry all this. Roma and Badd start. Knobbs gets mad at Badd for breaking clean. They do a bunch of hip toss reversals that go into the ropes. Knobbs is still mad. A couple of speed runs end with Badd armdrags. Knobbs tags in and knocks Roma around, then tells Badd that's how you do it. Knobbs super sells a Watts kneelift and gets dropkicked to the floor. Now Badd's mad at him. Badd tags in and has a Code of Honor handshake with Watts before going into some fair play wrestling. When Knobbs gets back in he goes back to the fisticuffs before running into Watts armdrags. More arguing. Badd and Watts mat wrestle some more. Double back elbow on Badd for 2. Roma hits a powerslam. Hyatt distracts the ref and Knobbs elbows him from behind. Knobbs trips Roma. Badd hesitates to follow up. Hyatt wants Badd to attack Roma on the floor and he refuses. Even Tony is telling him to try to win the damn match at this point. Knobbs suplex for 2. Abdominal stretch. Badd, predictably, refuses to play the illegal leverage game. Roma gets a boot up when Knobbs comes off the second rope, hits an enzuguri and tags. Watts hot tag run. He hits Knobbs with a crossbody. Knobbs rolls through it, grabs a handful of tights and gets the pin. Badd is unhappy about how they won but it won't stop him from being in the final later. If they cut the match in half it might have been OK, but the second half drug ass. 1/2*

 

The Shockmaster and "Mr. Wonderful" Paul Orndorff def WCW World Television Champion Lord Steven Regal and Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat (w/Sir William) in 12:26- Tony points out the past three TV champs are in this match. Ventura: "And Shockmaster fell through a wall!". Shockmaster starts out the "Paula" chants and Orndorff gives him a "c'mon man" look. Steamboat and Orndorff start with some speed. Steamboat skins the cat and pulls Orndorff to the floor. Chop/punch exchange. Steamboat catches Orndorff coming off the top rope and hits a kneelift for 2. Orndorff lays in some corner forearms. A Steamboat atomic drop in the corner leads to a collision of heads and both guys tag out. Regal looks at Shockmaster, has a think about what he's getting into then gets tossed right out of the lockup. Regal switches gears and tries to maneuver around him. Shockmaster no sells a European uppercut. He catches a Regal crossbody and slams him. Orndorff and Shockmaster have a disagreement and Shockmaster starts up the Paula chants again. Well that's just mean. Orndorff and Regal have a Code of Dishonor handshake and crank up some....straight up, above board wrestling. Steamboat is on the apron getting more agitated by the minute. If you were coming into this cold you'd think he was the heel and Regal and Orndorff were the faces. They swap a full nelson around with Regal getting a sweet escape using Orndorff's leg. Steamboat's had enough of the fair play and tags himself in. Orndorff catches him on a leapfrog and gives him a hot shot. Shockmaster misses an elbow drop. Regal refuses to tag back in. Shockmaster makes him and flips him in. Regal dodges an avalanche. He covers, then quickly rolls off and Orndorff elbow drops Shockmaster. Regal grabs the brolly from William. Steamboat naturally has an issue with that and tries to take it away. Regal ends up taking it in the face. Shockmaster splashes him and covers for the pin. Rock solid with some fun psychology. **1/2

Next up is some hype for the big 10th anniversary Starrcade next month. We cut to video footage of Okerlund hosting a press gaggle to announce the show's host city. Vader and Race are present as well. Apparently it's been an Olympic style bidding process, with bids coming in from all over the world, but the big winner is.....Charlotte, NC. Right down the road from where the first Starrcade was, the old Jim Crockett home base in Greensboro. Ric Flair comes in, says he wants to be in the main event again and hands Vader a contract. Vader lists all the guys he's put out of action the past year and tells Flair he needs to sweeten the pot. Flair says to read the contract. It says that if Flair doesn't take the title from Vader at Starrcade, he will retire from wrestling. Vader happily accepts.

 

WCW United States Heavyweight Champion "The Natural" Dustin Rhodes and King Kong def The Equalizer and Awesome Kong in 5:55- Poor Dustin is going to snap his back in half trying to carry this thing. I'd say it took years off his career, but he's still wrestling for a major promotion in 2022 so that joke doesn't really work. He starts off outwrestling Equalizer. Equalizer counters a backdrop and tags out. Kong 1 (they're completely indistinguishable) no sells some dropkicks, so Dustin eye pokes him and dropkicks him in the back, then rolls him up for 2. Dustin tags out and it's Kong on Kong. Except it's not, as Kong 2 has no interest and tags right back out. Dustin armdrags Equalizer and now Kong 2 will get in. It's slow motion wrestling time. Slugfest. Dustin bionic elbows Kong 1 for 2. A sunset flip triggers the night's first proper donnybrook. The three useless slugs all pile on top of each other in a corner. Dustin bulldogs a Kong (who knows if it's the right one or not) and gets the pin. 1/4*

 

WCW World Tag Team Champion Jerry Saggs and Sting (w/Missy Hyatt) def Ron Simmons and Keith Cole in 13:14- Keith Cole (not to be confused with Harlem Heat's Kole) is one half of the Cole Twins tag team. The Cole Twins are....well put it this way, if you look up "vanilla jobbers" in the dictionary there's a picture of the Cole Twins. Simmons is in the midst of one of those slow burn heel turns where he's pissed off at the world for disrespecting him, he was world champion dammit (to which he had a point). After arguing on both sides over who's going to start Saggs and Simmons lock up. Simmons cranks up the speed and hits a football tackle. Cole comes in and does arm work. "We want Sting" chant. Saggs hits a short clothesline and plays with the crowd by refusing to tag Sting in. Cole with an armdrag. Double reverse elbow on Saggs for 2. Now he'll tag out. Sting and Simmons shake hands and hook it up. Simmons hits shoulderblocks. It looks like they mess up a roll up, then Sting almost legit runs the ref over hitting the ropes. He gives Simmons some shoulderblocks back. Cole and Sting compare their near identical hairstyles. Sting with a backslide for 2. Saggs walks into an armdrag. Once again Cole locks in an armbar. I think he's taking the List of 1004 Holds a little too literally. Saggs works Simmons over a bit. Sting with a crossbody and clothesline on Simmons. They get in the ropes again. Simmons breaks, then turns around and punches Sting right in the mouth! That changed things. Tony is shocked. SHOCKED I tell you. Simmons powerslam. Cole comes in and goes right for ANOTHER ARMBAR. Someone get this kid a new move. Simmons loses patience with him and tags back in. He pummels Sting down some more, then tags back out for Cole to finish him off. With what? To the shock of no one he grabs a wristlock. Punishing finisher you got there kid. Simmons is exasperated. Sting backdrops Cole and rolls through some rapid fire power moves. Stinger Splash! But Saggs blind tagged himself in when Sting hit it. Saggs goes up top, drops an elbow, and that's all that's needed to finish Cole off. After the bell Simmons takes his frustrations out on Cole and plants him with a spinebuster. Cole was bloody useless, Saggs was Saggs, but the whole Sting/Simmons dynamic was a ton of fun and they had good wrestling chemistry to boot. **3/4

 

"Nature Boy" Ric Flair and "Stunning" Steve Austin (w/Col. Robert Parker) def 2 Cold Scorpio and Maxx Payne in 14:31- Lots of Flair/Austin disagreement as they've also had a side feud going. Flair lets Austin start with Payne. An Austin takedown attempt fails and Flair struts on the apron. Austin loses another exchange, reaches for a tag and gets some Slick Ric in return. Austin spends another couple of minutes making Payne look good, then Austin and Scorpio have a nice back and forth sequence, other than the blocked hiptoss that almost put Austin down on his head. Austin bails and finally Flair tags. He has a good mat wrestling exchange with Scorpio. They need a couple of tries at the bridge up spot. Flair slips out of a backslide fight. WOOOOOOOO! He fakes a tag out to Austin. Payne slams Flair off the top. Flair dodges an elbow drop and tags. Austin takes a backdrop and slides out. Flair lays in the chops on Scorpio. Scorpio hits a tackle in the corner and suplex. They trade standing switches and Scorpio rolls Flair up for 2. Another huge chop floors Scorpio. Scorpio hits a superkick on Austin. He goes up top. Austin knocks him down and joins him. Superplex! Arrogant cover by Austin only gets 2. Scorpio does a Bret bump and Flair hits a kneedrop for 2. Austin hooks in an abdominal stretch. He grabs the top rope for illegal leverage. Flair has none of it, and all the good teamwork they'd had over the last few minutes goes out the window as they start shoving again! Cooler heads prevail and Flair gets back on Scorpio. Chops and delayed suplex for 2. Austin kneedrop off the top. Payne breaks the pin up. Scorpio counters and Austin runs face first into the top buckle. Spinning kick and both guys are down. Tags on both sides. Flair gets right on Payne. Payne no sells chops, punches Flair across the ring and hits a backdrop. Flair dodges and Payne goes knee first into the corner. Figure four! Payne quickly gives it up as Austin holds Scorpio back. Scorpio held his end up fine but this match was all Flair and Austin being awesome. Unfortunately the teased feud between them would fizzle out because it would have been fantastic and WCW couldn't have that. Austin would finally get his long promised US title run in '94, but how good would a proper Austin/Flair world title feud have been? ***1/2

 

WCW International World Heavyweight Champion "Ravishing" Rick Rude and Shanghai Pierce def Tex Slazenger and Marcus Alexander Bagwell in 14:50- Rude tosses Bagwell around to start with. Forearms and release suplex. Rude fights out of Slazenger arm work and tags Pierce. Rude: "Beat his ass!". The regular heel partners refuse to fight and a frustrated Rude tags back in. Pierce hits him on the way out and Slazenger takes advantage. Bagwell and Pierce do some stuff. Bagwell splash for 2. Rude comes back in and doesn't seem at all interested in letting Bagwell get anything in. He's ornery tonight. Bagwell and Pierce do some more stuff. Rude pulls the top rope down and Bagwell falls to the floor. Apron shot. Back in Rude gives Bagwell a front suplex. Gutbuster. Pierce knee off the second rope for 2. Rude hooks in a bear hug. They do the phantom tag spot and Rude and Pierce get a double team in. A WCW watermark suddenly appears on the screen. Sadly it's about the most interesting thing in this match. Why now? Did the Turner graphic boys just now figure out how to do it? "Hey, what's this button do.....well would you look at that. Should we keep it?". Pierce hits a big boot and gutwrench powerbomb. Slazenger breaks the pin up! Bagwell crawls under Pierce's legs and tags. Now Pierce and Slazenger go at it! It's an all out brawl! The ref misses Rude getting a blind tag so they have to do it again. Rude comes in, nails Slazenger with the Rude Awakening, and good night. After the match Pierce and Slazenger make up by beating Bagwell up some more. This was way too long for what they had to offer. A pissed off looking Rude working Bagwell super stiff and refusing to let him do anything on offense for no discernible reason was amusing though. *1/2

 

Road Warrior Hawk and Rip Rogers def "The British Bulldog" Davey Boy Smith and Kole in 7:55- Oh yeah, Rogers is the blonde jobber that Vader bowled over back at the start of the show. We laughed at him then, but he went on to be WWE's trainer of the stars in the OVW years. Rogers is really, really excited about being teamed with Hawk. Hawk gets annoyed and punches him out on the apron. Both Bulldog and Kole kick him while he's down. Literally. He's still on the apron when the bell rings and Hawk has to wrestle by himself. He and Bulldog have some lockup stalemates, then a test of strength stalemate. Kole gets pissed at Bulldog for the kid gloves treatment so Bulldog tags him in. Kole pounds Hawk down. Hawk pounds back and slams Kole. SPINAROONIE! Was that the first one ever? Kole pops up with a clothesline. Side suplex for 2. Rogers has reached the ring apron. Kole hits him again. Very lethargic and frankly dull back and forth while Bulldog stands on the apron and openly roots for his opponent Hawk. Hawk's actually selling though. After a few minutes Rogers is about to his feet. Hawk scoops him up, presses him, and throws him into Kole. I guess the ref considered that a tag because he counts the pin. Yeesh. 3/4*

Commentary kills some time making Battlebowl predictions and Okerlund has a hot mic moment where he says something like "Am I throwing a curve to Ventura for crying out loud?". Tony and Ventura keep it professional though Tony looks like he's about to bust out laughing.

 

Battlebowl Battle Royale- Rogers is still wobblelegged. Everyone stares down in the ring until Hawk says screw this and grabs someone, and everyone follows suit. This year there's a very specific rule that throwing over the top to the entrance ramp does not count as an elimination, it has to be all the way to the floor. That's one side of the ring completely useless then. Rogers quickly goes out. Vader's mask is off. Pierce is eliminated. Shockmaster is sitting on Orndorff. Flair and Austin find each other and take the fight to the floor. Orndorff dumps Badd onto the ramp. Badd was supposed to be eliminated, so he gets back in so Orndorff can dump him out on a different side. Kong and Shockmaster have some superheavyweight action. Jack sets Vader up for a suplerplex. They stand there forever before Vader finally throws Jack back down. I think they were going to do the superplex but no one would get out of the way for them. Vader eliminates Jack. Dustin eliminates Orndorff. Shockmaster clotheslines Kong but he can't get over the top so they have another go at it. Kong is gone. The Nastys run up and dump Shockmaster. Vader presses Sting but dumps him on the ramp. Race thinks Sting should be gone. Vader and Flair pair off. At this point with 9 guys left the match really bogs down with a long no eliminations stretch, right at the point it should be picking up steam. Vader and Rude have a moment, highlighting the fact the WCW world title is technically disputed. Sting wipes out both Nastys but Vader hits him from behind before he can dump them. Commentary starts to get antsy at the lack of plot development. Austin and Dustin fight on the floor. Dustin gets posted and busted open big time but keeps going. Dustin eliminates Knobbs. He lifts Saggs up but Austin comes in and throws them both out. Hawk eliminates Rude. Vader eliminates Hawk. It's down to the final four: Vader, Austin, Sting and Flair. They pair off but with a lot of visible confusion on where to go. Typical WCW planning. Flair dodges a Vader avalanche. Flair and Race fight on the ramp. Flair suplexes Race on the ramp! That gives Vader an opening to come in with an elbow drop. He splashes Flair on the ramp! Sting and Austin join the fray on the ramp. A stretcher comes out to haul Flair away. The other three guys stand around while Race tries to get more shots in (you can see it on the wide shot, they're literally standing and waiting). Once Flair's been carted out and declared unable to continue by the refs Sting hulks up in the ring. Austin whips Sting into a Vader tackle. Sting gets knocked around between the heels. Vader hits some splashes. Sting dodges and goes in hulk up mode again. Austin gets him back down. Vader bomb. Sting dodges Austin coming off the top. Vader accidentally avalanches Austin. Sting dumps Austin onto the ramp. Vader clotheslines Sting onto the ramp. Austin rolls to the floor, which means he is now eliminated. Never change, WCW. Sting is still in it thanks to the ramp rule. He gets back in and he and Vader go back at it with the look of two guys who want nothing more than to hit the showers and get to the hotel and/or bar. Eventually Vader dodges a Stinger Splash and Sting falls to the floor to give Vader the win and make him the 3rd Battlebowl winner. Nearly 30 minutes was way too much for this. It's amazing how the layout of most WCW battle royales look like they were put together by a class of second graders that had never watched a wrestling match before. Flair's stretcher job was good build for Starrcade, but everything after that was textbook going through the motions and killing time from three normally ubertalented guys. There's also a strong argument to be made for an Austin win here to help elevate him even more, but that would require something like forward planning on WCW's part. *

OVERALL SHOW THOUGHTS- Another dreary PPV in WCW's disastrous second half of '93, but this one is aided by the fact that there's some entertainment value built into the Lethal Lottery thanks to the surprise drawings and odd couple tag team dynamics. The Lethal Lottery and Battlebowl concept would be shelved after this and only brought back one more time by WCW, at Slamboree '96. Meanwhile, after a year break the November PPV in '95 would feature another new twist on the battle royale format: World War 3.

OVERALL SHOW GRADE: C-