UWF Beach Brawl

Legacy Review

UWF Beach Brawl

The UWF (Universal Wrestling Federation) name was not a new one. In 1986 Bill Watts renamed his successful New Orleans Superdome based Mid-South Wrestling territory the UWF with the goal of going national. It went badly, and barely a year later the former Mid-South was absorbed by southern powerhouse Jim Crockett Promotions, the North Carolina based NWA flagship territory that had been buying out all their adjoining territories also with the goal of going national. The UWF name and titles floated around JCP for a few months before being retired, much like the WCW titles after they were bought by WWF. Soon after that JCP ran into their own too much, too soon problems and had to be bailed out by Turner, creating WCW. There was also a promotion in Japan called UWF International that started in 1991 but we won't get into that here. A couple of years after the original UWF died, enter Herb Abrams.

 

Now, full disclosure I have not watched the Dark Side of the Ring episode on this subject. At a glance and with the benefit of hindsight, Abrams comes across as your typical snake oil salesman that's managed to cover himself in some Hollywood glitz. He also had a severe cocaine addiction, which is where much of the UWF's money went and was the ultimate cause of his early death in 1996. Despite having never been involved in the wrestling industry before, Abrams decided he was the guy to create a new promotion to compete nationally with WWF and WCW. Amazingly, he convinced SportsChannel America to fund this, er, exploratory effort. SportsChannel was a conglomeration of some of the early regional cable sports networks and at the time was most well known for stealing the NHL coverage contract away from ESPN. They agreed to help fund the project and gave Abrams a one hour weekly timeslot on their channel. Even more amazingly, Abrams managed to convince some fairly big name wrestlers to come on board. Look down the card for this show, there's some pretty heavy hitters for the time on here. It's not a bunch of nobodies. UWF Power Hour debuted on SportsChannel in October 1990. The promotion was immediately plagued by financial problems, with both venues and wrestlers saying they weren't receiving what they were owed. But the show went on, and they knew if they really wanted to play with the big boys (look at the adjective) they needed a PPV. That's where Beach Brawl comes in, the one and only PPV produced by the UWF.

June 9, 1991 from the Manatee Civic Center in Palmetto, FL

Commentary: Craig DeGeorge and Bruno Sammartino

 

The show opens up with some black and white stock footage of wrestling days past and promises to bring back the "glory days" of wrestling thanks to legendary visionary Herb Abrams. The types of visions he has depends on how much he's snorted that day. Main event opponents Bigelow and Williams give promos in the opening video with hilarious piped in crowd noise under them. The arena is barely lit, a good call considering how bad attendance was. How bad was it, you ask? Well, in a 4000 seat arena the official attendance is 550. I'd make a joke about not all of them being paid, but you have to figure if you're going to paper the show you'd make some effort to fill it up a bit more. We have 900 numbers! Of course we do. On one you can "Hear the Beach Brawl". Does that mean you hear the audio feed of the PPV that you already paid money for and are watching right now? Seems slightly redundant. On the other number you can "talk to" Capt. Lou Albano and evil manager Mr. Red. We get more pretaped promos from both Bigelow and Williams, this time in street clothes. It's funny how Bigelow is talking more how he would in real life while Williams is full on in character.

 

The Blackhearts (w/Luna Vachon) def Fire Cat and Jim Cooper in 7:45- The Blackhearts are billed as "from your worst nightmare". They set off some flash paper during their entrance because they're demonic or something. Luna also has a snake wrapped around her on their entrance. The Blackhearts' names are Apocalypse and Destruction, but they both wear masks and identical gear so it's impossible to tell who's who. In fact, one of them is the future Gangrel. Fire Cat is the same guy that was the short lived gimmick disaster Battle Kat in WWF. Jim Cooper is....well, put it this way, he doesn't even have a Cagematch page. The Hearts jump Cooper before the bell and give him a double flippy tackle. Cooper recovers with a neckbreaker on one Heart. Heart diving back elbow off the second rope. Cooper hits a backdrop. The faces do a Hart Attack like setup with Cat delivering a back elbow instead of clothesline. Cat hurricanrana! The heels go out to regroup. Cooper is placed on the top rope and a Hart gives him a gut wrench superplex. Cooper dodges an elbow off the top and tags. Cat breaks out some more flippydo, hits a superkick, and the heels powder again. Cat cradle for 1. A simple shove from a Hart puts Cat on the ground. Hart spinning heel kick. Cat crucifix for 2. Hart double tackle and a bit more Cat in peril work follows. Cat reverses a whip and gets a diving back elbow. The tag is cut off. Cat counters a backdrop with a DDT. Bruno doesn't know what a DDT is, he keeps calling it a piledriver. Cooper tags in but the Harts hot shot him. One Hart holds Cooper up, the other hits a legdrop off the top rope, and that gets the pin. Well, it didn't suck. They kept it moving even if it was a bit disjointed. **

Commentary explains to all you rubes where Palmetto is in Florida. I know it's the pre-internet days, and my situation is different because my family traveled a lot (I'm an Army kid), but I always had a good old Rand McNally atlas available to reference. Luna cuts a promo and is unimpressed with the available competition.

 

Street Fight: Terry Gordy and Johnny Ace double countout in 6:08- The ring announcer specifically says this match is "no DQ, no rules". This was supposed to be Gordy against Don Muraco but Muraco was out with an injury. Both these guys wrestled full time in All Japan so they were probably already familiar to each other to some degree. Gordy tries to back suplex out of a headlock but Ace flips him over. Hard Ace shoulderblock for 2. More headlock work. Street fight! Ace hits a back elbow and springboard reverse crossbody for 2. A straight right punch from Gordy floors Ace. Corner clothesline for 2. Beatdown mode from Gordy. He fights off an Ace comeback and hits a Saito suplex for 2. Ace blocks a powerbomb. Gordy resets and hits it for 2. Another corner clothesline for 2. Gotta give it to them, there some good intensity going on in there. They're laying into each other. Gordy goes for another corner shot but Ace gets a boot up and hits a clothesline. The small crowd is getting into it. An Ace dropkick sends Gordy to the floor. Ace plancha! But Gordy misses the catch, Ace comes down at an angle and he splats almost head first on the no pads concrete floor! Gordy clearly stops to check that he's OK before continuing. Once he's sure Ace is OK they brawl into the crowd, up the stadium steps and into the empty seats. After a minute the bell rings. Commentary is confused. The ring announcer says it's a double countout. In a street fight. A double countout. OK then. Well, before the crap finish the match wasn't too shabby, even if they were only having a regular match and not a STREET FIGHT. **3/4

After the bell the brawl continues as long or maybe even longer than the match went. Why not just keep the match going? We also get a replay of Ace almost killing himself with that plancha.

A DOUBLE COUNTOUT. In a STREET FIGHT. Well, it's certainly innovative.

 

Mask Confusion def The Power Twins in 12:23- There's some mass confusion, pun intended, as to what the face team name is. The opening rundown said Mass Confusion, the match entrance graphic says Mask Confusion, and everything currently online says Masked Confusion. Whatever you do though, don't call them the Killer Bees. Yes, it's "Jumpin'" Jim Brunzell and B Brian Blair and yes they're still in yellow and black gear but don't you dare say that name. Vince's lawyers hear everything. The Power Twins really are twins named David and Larry and have nothing impressive to mention on their career resume. It's the second straight tag match where you can't tell which heel is which. For some reason they're also carrying fly swatters. One of the twins takes the mic before the match and bitches that their manager John Tolos has been banned from ringside. Brunzell starts with one of the twins. The heels go into the cheating playbook early as Brunzell takes a knee in the back while hitting the ropes. After a short heel beatdown Brunzell escapes the heel corner and tags. Blair slingshots the heels into each other and they go out to recover. Back in Blair chain wrestles a twin down and the not Bees start working on his knee. The next few minutes are the not Bees working each of the twins legs, a good strategy in theory but completely forgotten once the FIP segment starts. Blair gets caught in the heel corner and double teamed. The Twins go to work on his back for a bit. Blair tries a slam and fails. The heels work the ref to double team and they get the phantom tag spot in. Blair gets dropped over the top rope. He ducks a Twins double clothesline and hits them both with his own double clothesline. No tag, instead the faces both get knocked to the floor. I think everyone knows what's coming here. They put their masks on while on the floor and use the power of mass/mask/masked confusion to get the pin on a sunset flip switch. Bleh. *

 

Inaugural UWF Women's World Championship: Rockin' Robin def Candi Devine in 6:05- Robin was a veteran of the WWF's Rock N Wrestling era women's division, while Devine was one of the stars of the women's division in late '80s AWA. Code of Honor handshake to start....but Devine attacks Robin when she turns her back! She tosses Robin around until Robin gets a boot up in the corner. Clothesline and elbow drop for 2. Robin gets a sunset flip off the second rope but Devine uses her legs to ring Robin's bell to get out. She slingshots Robin into the mat and hooks on a Boston crab. After fighting it for a minute Robin flips it over and they trade quick cradles for near falls. Devine hits a dropkick. Robin with some weak chops. Diving clothesline for 2. Robin dropkicks and Devine plain no sells it. That wasn't a miss, she was right there, she just didn't do anything. After that Robin dodges....something. No idea what that was supposed to be. Devine charges in the corner. Robin dodges, Devine bounces off the buckles, and Robin rolls her up for the pin and title. Botches aside it's a typical women's match for the era. In what would be typical UWF booking fashion, Robin won the title and never wrestled another match for UWF. 3/4*

Video recap package! I didn't think UWF had it in them. Of course, all it shows is DeBeers (a former longtime AWA wrestler whose gimmick is an apartheid supporting South African) beating up black refs and abusing black wrestlers and shows nothing as to why Orndorff is mixed up in any of this at all.

 

Strap Match: "Mr. Wonderful" Paul Orndorff def Col. DeBeers in 4:15- Debeers tries to jump before the bell but the ref stops him. The ref throws the strap in the air like a jump ball! DeBeers catches it and whips Orndorff. Oh wait, this isn't a STRAP match. It's not a long strap that both wrestlers have tied to their wrists, it's a small strap used for whipping asses. OK then. Orndorff sells a DeBeers shot in the corner before DeBeers even comes close to hitting him. They go to the opposite corner and Orndorff presses DeBeers with his legs. Now Orndorff goes to town with the strap. Not just whips, but chokes and hits a strap assisted fist drop. DeBeers slams Orndorff and Orndorff hides the strap underneath him. DeBeers looks around for it for a bit, then goes to the top rope. Orndorff catches him with the strap coming down. Running kneelift. Orndorff counters a backdrop into a piledriver and it's over. After the match DeBeers lays Orndorff out with a taser. I guess someone was watching video of Mountie matches. 1/4*

 

Next up is a special PPV edition of Captain's Corner with Capt. Lou Albano. Albano brings the Blackhearts and Luna out again. Luna's got her snake again which sets Albano off. He goes on a rant about how much he hates it, drops the mic and leaves. Well that was completely pointless.

 

Bob Backlund def Ivan Koloff (w/Mr. Red) in 2:23- I feel like I should know who this Mr. Red guy is but can't find anything online. He's very blonde and doesn't look the least bit Russian. Koloff has a whip. Backlund is introduced as the "undefeated champion of the world", continuing his insistence that he never lost the WWF title to the Iron Sheik. This is actually only Backlund's third match since his mid-'85 AWA run and his first in two years. He was right at the start of his comeback that would lead back to the WWF in '93. Lots of solid chain wrestling to start. Backlund escapes a full nelson. Koloff does some arm work and runs Backlund's shoulder into the turnbuckle. While Koloff's holding a short arm scissors Backlund deadlifts him! Backdrop. Backlund rolls Koloff up and bridges over, much the same way we see today from ZSJ and SANADA, and gets the pin. Well they got screwed by the booking. They were working well together in the little time they got, and probably could have had a good match with more time so I'll go easy on it. 1/2*

After the match Albano comes back out and punches out Red. OK then. Guess there's a weekly TV story behind that but commentary never explains it. After that is another video package, this time showing actual feud buildup.

 

Wet'N'Wild def "Cowboy" Bob Orton and Cactus Jack (w/John Tolos) in 4:02- Wet'N'Wild are two guys named Steve Ray (not to be confused with Harlem Heat's Stevie Ray) and Sunny Beach (who went by Sandy Beach as a longtime jobber in WWF). Their gimmick is surfer dudes and they actually bring a surfboard to the ring and try to ride it. Basically they're a bad ripoff of the Dynamic Dudes. Which leads to the obvious question of why anyone would want to rip off the Dynamic Dudes in the first place but here we are. They're the top face team in UWF and with no tag titles in the company yet this is our de facto top tag team match. Tolos is in full coach gear, showing the gimmick he'll have a cup of coffee with WWF as soon after this. He's supposed to be suspended in a shark cage for this grudge match. The bell rings with Tolos in the ring. The faces whip the heels into each other, then grab Tolos and toss him in the cage. The cage is sloooooooooooooly raised up. Given it being UWF I'm pleasantly surprised it doesn't fall down. Reset with Jack and Beach. Beach gets tossed to the floor. Jack double ax handle off the apron. He slams Beach on the floor. Cactus Elbow off the TOP rope to the floor! There's your Foley bump. Bang bang. Orton tags in and hits a short clothesline. He rams Beach's head into Jack's hard cranium. Orton suplex. Jack Russian leg sweep for 2. Beach hits a fallaway slam and tags. Ray gives the heels a double noggin knocker. Corner whip reversals and we get a ref bump. Tolos tosses knucks into the ring. Orton pops Jack with them and Ray covers for the pin. After the match Orton and Jack argue, then fight in a brawl that, again, goes on as long or longer than the match did. 1/2* solely for Jack

Another video package shows highlights of the title tournament from weekly TV, including Williams dropping Steve Ray right on his head.

 

Tournament Final for the Inaugural UWF SportsChannel Television Championship: "Dr. Death" Steve Williams def Bam Bam Bigelow in 7:11- This is to crown the promotion's first ever top champion. No world or US titles here, it's all about the network branded TV title. They're making a big deal to make sure everyone knows it's a "$100,000" belt. After both wrestlers have made their entrances everything stops for Herb Abrams to have his own special entrance with the belt. Not an ego trip, not at all. He shakes Williams' hand, then offers one to Bigelow. Bigelow pushes him aside! Williams charges in with clotheslines off the distraction and we're off. He goes for a 3 point stance tackle but Bigelow cuts it off with a clothesline. Falling headbutt. Bigelow avalanche. Williams is bleeding and Bigelow punches the cut. Williams tries to stop the momentum by running right into Bigelow full speed but Bigelow shrugs it off. Another avalanche. He goes for it again but Williams gets a boot up. Williams clothesline with a Bigelow 360 sell! Commentary goes nuts for that. Knees to the face, chops and a forearm from Williams. Now Bigelow is bleeding. Another clothesline and dropkick. Bigelow fights back with headbutts. He goes for a suplex but Williams small packages him for 2. Williams back elbow and kneelift. Bigelow catches a running Williams and gives him a Samoan drop! Slingshot splash! Williams kicks out! DDT from Bigelow. He goes up top. Splash off the top rope! Williams kicks out again! Williams ducks a clothesline. Belly to belly suplex! Clothesline. 3 point stance tackle. Powerslam for 2. Slugfest in the corner. Williams lifts Bigelow again but Bigelow grabs the top rope. Williams resets, lifts Bigelow, carries him to the middle of the ring, buries him with another powerslam, and gets the pin and the title! Well, that was unexpected and a very pleasant surprise. The textbook definition of big meaty men slapping meat. Honestly that was one of the stiffest matches I've ever seen, they were pounding the shit out of each other. My only complaint is they only got about half the time they should have. ***1/2

 

Clearly there's no one working this show that knows how to time a PPV, because instead of giving that damn good match more time, Williams gives two promos, one in ring and one backstage, commentary vamps forever to wrap up, and lists off all the match results one by one.

OVERALL SHOW THOUGHTS- With UWF's reputation you'd expect this to be a train wreck of epic, end of life AWA level proportions. Instead, it's a not so good but moderately watchable show with a couple of decent to good matches and nothing that makes you want to gouge your eyes out and never watch wrestling again. The main event is worth checking out for sure.

OVERALL SHOW GRADE: D+