Uncensored '97

Legacy Review

Uncensored '97

March 16, 1997 from the North Charleston Coliseum in Charleston, SC

Commentary: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan and Dusty Rhodes

My biggest hope for this show is it can be the first Uncensored we get through without a match so atrociously bad it almost amounts to Geneva Conventions violations. One of the big stories going in is Eric Bischoff has been suspended by Turner higher ups so the NWO is a bit backs against the wall for one of the first times since it started.

No DQ Match for the WCW United States Heavyweight Championship: Dean Malenko def Eddie Guerrero (c) in 19:14- Guerrero has been trending heel since accidentally costing Malenko the Cruiserweight title to Syxx at Superbrawl. Staredown after the bell with fingers in chests leading to shoving leading to swinging. Guerrero pounds away while holding a headlock. Malenko runs Guerrero over with a shoulderblock. Guerrero rolls to the floor and stalls a bit. Back in Malenko stomps a mudhole in the corner. He hits a suplex, then sticks a finger in Guerrero's face while he's down and slaps him. Now it's Guerrero's turn to pound away in the corner. There's definitely intensity here. Malenko backdrops Guerrero onto the top turnbuckle and hits a quick back suplex. Tony says there's "some kind of commotion" happening in the back. We cut back there and see Syxx and the Outsiders standing over Rick Steiner's corpse, with a broken kendo stick strategically placed next to his head. Doesn't take a genius detective to figure out what happened here. Hall sarcastically says "The Steiners sure are having back luck". Remember this is only a month or so after the Steiners' car crash that was supposedly so horrific it would never be shown on TV again. Survived a car crash, killed by a kendo stick. It's like that Civil War vet that survived a litany of major battles then got run over by a carriage months after the war ended. Anyway, back to the match with Malenko cranking Guerrero back in a half crab into almost a Liontamer. He dumps Guerrero over the top to the floor, which is OK because it's no DQ. Malenko gets the belt, rolls Guerrero back in, and nails him with it a couple of times. Clothesline for 2. Guerrero ducks another clothesline and hits a uranage. Now it's his turn for a point and slap while Malenko's down. Dropkick to Malenko's knee. Guerrero starts picking the knee apart. He wraps up a leg scissors into an STF. We go picture in picture to see Rick Steiner getting stretchered out. Malenko rolls out for some space but Guerrero follows and stays on the knee. Malenko reverses a whip and Guerrero goes into the guardrail. Guerrero recovers and dropkicks Malenko's knee against the post. Figure four! Guerrero gets a bit of extra rope leverage and gets a couple of near falls. Malenko eye pokes to get out. Guerrero hits some European uppercuts. Malenko ducks one and tries a backslide, but Guerrero flips over it and hits another uppercut. Baseball slide to Malenko's back on the floor. Guerrero comes off the top, but Malenko dodges and Guerrero crashes into the guardrail! Back in Malenko targets the arm and puts on an almost Fujiwara armbar. Guerrero works free. The straps are down! He chops Malenko and hits a tiltawhirl backbreaker. Powerbomb with a jackknife cover for 2. Counters, standing switches, Malenko hits a low blow, Guerrero also hits a low blow and small packages Malenko for 2. Malenko hits a powerslam and goes up top. Frog splash from Malenko! He pulls Guerrero up at 2! Not sure how smart that was. He goes for a powerbomb. Guerrero counters into a flying headscissors! Malenko hits a tiltawhirl slam for 2. They kind of muff a cradle spot, with Guerrero recovering to get a cradle for 2. Malenko wheelbarrows Guerrero into a German suplex for 2! Guerrero hits a tornado DDT. He goes for the Cloverleaf! Malenko tries to fight but he gets it on! Syxx makes his way out to ringside, with a video camera. That klepto is going to try to steal the US belt AGAIN. That angle is getting very, very stale. Guerrero lets the hold go to fight him off. Syxx swings with the camera, misses, and the camera ends up in the ring. Guerrero fights Syxx off and takes a swing at Malenko with the belt. Malenko ducks, hits Guerrero with Syxx's camera, and covers him for the pin and the title! This is a nice elevation for Malenko after all the great work he put into making the Cruiserweight title something worthwhile, work that Syxx was already doing all he could to chuck out the window. The match was great until the completely stupid and unnecessary ending because everything had to be about the NWO. ***3/4

Mean Gene is in the back with tonight's hotline shill: Who is the WCW superstar that is GONE FOREVER, and WHY? After that Roddy Piper comes in and has another of his completely nonsensical rants about the main event. The difference between his WWF and WCW promos is night and day. His Horsemen teammates for the main event also come in, with Mongo trying to go toe to toe with Piper in insane ranting.

 

Ultimo Dragon (w/Sonny Oono) def Psychosis in 13:17- Mike Tenay checks in for this one. A couple of good back and forth mat wrestling exchanges and stalemates to start. Dragon grabs the rope to block a whip. Psychosis chops him free, long speed run, and Dragon hits a combo of kicks. PK to Psychosis' back and Dragon hooks on a legbar. Another speed run and Psychosis hits a dropkick for 2. Corner clothesline. Dragon does a handstand in the corner on the other side, flummoxing Psychosis to the point he doesn't know what to do. After that they have a rough stretch where Dragon walks the ropes but Psychosis is out of position for any moves, then Dragon straight up whiffs on an enzuguri, They do the enzuguri again and this time Dragon hits it. They trade camel clutches. Psychosis does a legdrop off the top that barely connects for 2. Elbow off the second rope for 2. Dragon hits a tiltawhirl backbreaker and hooks on a sleeper. Psychosis jawbreakers out. He puts on his own sleeper with Dragon quickly back suplexing out. Psychosis hits a spinning heel kick off the top rope. Dragon goes to the floor. Psychosis goes for a tope con hilo, but doesn't rotate enough and almost collides head to head with Dragon. Slingshot legdrop to the floor. Dragon lifts Psychosis with his legs on the apron. Psychosis acts like he hit something in the corner, but from the camera angle he could just as easily have missed that too. Dragon hits the asai moonsault. He distracts the ref, allowing Oono to nail Psychosis with a roundhouse kick to the head. The ref goes out to question Oono. "He just slipped". Back in Dragon hits a moonsault for 2. Psychosis tries a powerbomb, both guys counter ending with a Psychosis cradle for 2. Dragon magistral cradle for 2. Both go up top, fight for leverage, and both go down into the ring. Then both guys try for spinning heel kicks at the same time. Psychosis hits a top rope hurricanrana. After some very obvious maneuvering Dragon hits a Liger bomb. He sets Psychosis up top and flips him off with a supposed tornado DDT, but it didn't come off right. Tiger suplex and Dragon gets the pin. It's right on that "good" line, but there were too many obvious sloppy stretches to ignore. **3/4

Mean Gene is in the arena, saying he's got some "uncensored" material on the hotline. Well, that is what 900 numbers were invented for. Not sure how big the audience for that would be though. The red hot DDP comes out for some words to a big pop. Randy Savage attacked him a few weeks back, but has been completely ignoring him since. DDP challenges him. Savage, alongside Elizabeth again, calls out to DDP from the announce desk podium. He says he had DDP all wrong, he's cool after all. Why? Well, check out this special celebrity issue of Playboy. There's DDP's wife Kimberly! With strategic spraypainting to be able to show the centerfold on TV of course. While he's talking Kimberly slowly comes out of the entrance stage, crying and covered in spraypaint. When DDP goes to her Savage attacks him from behind! Shirt off and DDP gets spraypainted. Kimberly covers her husband up to prevent any more attacks so she gets spraypainted too, with Elizabeth fully embracing her inner heel and volunteering to do it. As Savage leaves he says "He's the man! Oh, and Kimberly likes me too, you can see it". One of WCW's last truly great feuds is underway, and that was a brilliant kickoff.

 

Martial Arts Match: Glacier def Mortis (w/James Vanderberg) in 9:04- Months after his long (LONG) hyped debut Glacier is finally getting his first PPV match. On the other side, the Mortis character (Chris Kanyon under a mask) is making his overall WCW in-ring debut. Vanderberg is also making his major company debut. He's still around today, having worked for pretty much every major promotion in the US over the years. He was recently the center of controversy for doing cocaine live on air during an NWA PPV. The genesis of this feud is that Mortis is a guy from Glacier's past that knows him and is pissed at him for reasons unknown and probably won't ever be known. The first Uncensored also featured a "martial arts match". No one knew what the rules were then, and we still don't now. Dodges after the bell and Mortis spits in Glacier's face. Glacier kicks Mortis into the ropes and hits a snap belly to belly suplex off the rebound. Mortis gives Glacier a forearm shot right on the ear. We know Glacier is hurt because he shouts "My ear!". After a bit of a beatdown Glacier forgets about the ear issues and does a fighting game style sweep kick. Kick to Mortis' face for 2. Mortis slides under Glacier to the apron. Glacier hits him with a high knee, sending him down into the guardrail. Plancha from Glacier! He suplexes Mortis on the floor. Martial Arts match! Glacier covers and Vanderberg pulls him off. Glacier chases him around and Mortis hits him with a baseball slide. Guardrail shot. He puts Glacier on his shoulders, climbs the steps, and drops him face first on the apron. Back in Mortis hits a Buckshot Lariat! Cover for 2. He tries a springboard legdrop but Glacier dodges. Mortis hits a fameasser for 2. He goes for it again, but Glacier blocks and turns it into a powerbomb. Flashy rolling elbow from Glacier. Boot in the face for 2. Mortis hits a roundhouse kick and slow covers for a long 2. Glacier hits a superplex for 2. He tries coming off the top but Mortis catches him and hits a northern lights suplex for 2. Springboard crossbody from Glacier for 2. He goes for his superkick finisher but Mortis uses the ref to block. Superkick from Mortis! Glacier kicks out! Vanderberg holds Glacier and Mortis manages to stop in time when Glacier dodges. Glacier superkick! It's over. Not good, but nowhere near as bad as it could have been. Both guys went for it. This is another feud that will go on forever, and unlike Savage/DDP with diminishing results. I still have no idea what the rules for a Martial Arts match are. **1/4

After the bell another guy dressed similar to Mortis comes out. Commentary doesn't know who he is, but it's the debuting Wrath (AKA Adam Bomb in WWF), also supposedly someone from Glacier's past. They beat Glacier down to take the feud to the next level. After that we get the footage of the Outsiders-caused Steiners car crash. I guess it's only too gruesome for regular TV, PPV is just fine.

 

Strap Match: Buff Bagwell def Scotty Riggs in 12:27- The American Males blowup continues. Before the bell we get the usual heel stalling with Riggs whipping him. After the bell Bagwell gets a couple of shots in and poses. After some choking Bagwell goes up top. Riggs pulls him down to low blow Bagwell for the first of about 10 times in this match. Given the likely shrinkage from all his roiding up he probably doesn't feel it anyway. Riggs hits a superplex. After some usual strap match stuff Riggs gets 2 corners before being stopped. Bagwell hits a hot shot and starts a stretch where he talks into the camera as much as he wrestles. Typical Bagwell in other words. He wraps the strap around Riggs' throat and gets 2 corners. Bagwell uses the strap for a snap mare and hangs Riggs on his back. The meathead tries for a pin, then gets in a shoving match with the ref, working in his usual hiding in the corner like a little bitch from the ref bit. Bagwell goes up for the Buff Blockbuster but Riggs dodges it. Clotheslines. Powerbomb. Missile dropkick. He gets to 3 corners before Bagwell stops him. Bagwell backdrops Riggs over the top rope and hangs him with the strap. Riggs goes out. Bagwell drags him back in, casually meanders to all four corners, and gets an easy no drama win. I should hope that's the end of that feud. 1/2*

The NWO team for the main event have one of the most pointless promo segments in wrestling history. It's literally just them shooting the shit about getting laid and Dennis Rodman wearing women's clothes like a lumberjack.

 

Texas Tornado Match: Harlem Heat (w/Sister Sherri) def Public Enemy in 13:17- PE set up a table on their entrance. They empty the toys out of their trash can and the fight is on. A frying pan is introduced early. Grunge has a toilet seat in the ring! Or, in the immortal words of Dusty, "He got a commode lid!". Sherri is fully involved in the match from the start. There's both cookie sheets and pizza pans in the ring getting swung around. The funny part is they all still have their store labels on. Booker somehow gets a scissors kick in for 2. Sherri hits some trash can lid shots. Ray takes a straight cookie sheet shot. Trash can shot on Booker with a great delayed flop sell. Dusty completely loses it on that, causing the whole commentary team to break. Now Booker's being choked with the toilet seat. Ray almost ends up in the laps of some of the people sitting in the front row. More trash can shots. Dusty: "I used to do that to my little brother!". Sherri hits some shots with a pizza pan. It looks like she's bleeding from her cheek from something earlier. Always 100% in, she was. More cookie sheet shots all around. The match is starting to bog down, they need to either wrap it up or get something new out there. Heat hit Rock with a rocket launcher for 2. Sherri accidentally hits Ray with a the trash can. She hops on Grunge's back but he squashes her against the guardrail. PE double team cannonball that puts Ray through the table! Jarrett and Mongo are out. Mongo hits Rock with the Briefcase of Death, which is pretty ridiculous how hard it puts him out considering all the other foreign object shots in this match. Booker hits the Harlem Hangover and it's over. Fairly fun plunder brawl, but it really drug in the second half. Cut the match time in half and it would have been much better. Commentary had the time of their life calling this, especially Dusty, so that helped. This whole match is one giant Botchamania "Insane Dusty Commentary" segment. **

Team WCW confirms they will be down one man for the main event tonight after the attack on Rick Steiner.

 

WCW World Television Championship: Prince Iaukea (c) def Rey Mysterio Jr in 13:41- This is a rematch from Superbrawl. After that match ended with Regal interference ultimate good guy Iaukea quickly agreed to giving Mysterio another shot. I can imagine all the shocked faces at Iaukea's reign lasting this long. Mysterio's in his Spider-Man gear tonight. Again Iaukea gets zero reaction from the crowd, and he's dragging Mysterio down with him as they're dead pretty much the whole match. Tenay tags in again as is mandatory for a Mysterio match. Lots of dodging at the start. Iaukea hits a Samoan drop. He goes for a springboard splash but Mysterio gets his knees up. Springboard senton from Mysterio for 2. He uses an Iaukea lift to get a hurricanrana for 2. Iaukea starts to do a tiltawhirl but they're near the ropes and both tumble out. Judging by the reaction I don't think that was intentional. Mysterio recovers to hit a dive to the floor. After another rough exchange in the ring Mysterio ends up dangled over the top rope. Iaukea hits a slingshot powerbomb. Mysterio goes out and Iaukea hits a springboard dive. Guardrail shot for Mysterio. Iaukea hops up on the guardrail but misses the dive off. Back in Mysterio hits the split legged moonsault for 2. Bulldog off the second rope for 2. Lionsault for 2. Iaukea comes back with chops. Mysterio gets a sunset bomb off the top for 2. Iaukea dodges a senton off the top and hits a northern lights suplex for 2. Some "boring" chants start to echo around the arena. Iaukea catches a leaping Mysterio and powerbombs him. He tries a springboard but Mysterio dropkicks him in midair. Iaukea does a straight headbutt right into Mysterio's crotch. Well OK then. Weird. Mysterio rolls out and Iaukea gives him a double ax handle off the apron. Speed run back in. Both guys go for dropkicks, and collide in the middle with a *literal* scissor! I'm not exaggerating. The Acclaimed are jumping up and down somewhere. Mysterio gets a flying headscissors and rolling cradle for 2, then Iaukea reverses the cradle for 2. After some standing switches they stand around for a ridiculous amount of time, then Iaukea rolls Mysterio up for 2. Mysterio does a Coffin Drop like fall back into Iaukea from the top rope. As he covers the bell rings for the "15 minute" time limit out of nowhere, no countdown at all. Mysterio asks for more time and Iaukea, ever the babiest of babyfaces, agrees. Reset lockup and Mysterio hits chops. Springboard enzuguri! The crowd is finally starting to get into it a little bit. Hurricanrana off the top. Springboard hurricanrana, but Iaukea reverses the cover and gets the pin! The improbable title reign continues. Like at Superbrawl, Mysterio is only so much of a miracle worker. *3/4

The next match is a very unique setup, with a bit of War Games, a bit of Survivor Series, a bit Royal Rumble and maybe a dash of the New Japan Ranbo. The match starts with an initial 5 minute period with one guy from each of the three teams. After that one more for each team come out for 2 minute periods, like War Games, until everyone's in. Elimination is by pinfall, submission, or over the top to the floor. It's individual elimination, with the match ending after all members of two teams have been eliminated, like a three way Survivor Series match. Unlike War Games eliminations can take place before everyone has entered the match. For a new gimmick match the rules are surprisingly specific for WCW. Can't wait to see how they frak them up. There's also extensive stipulations for the results of the match. If Team NWO wins, they can get a shot at any title they don't already have anytime, anywhere they want. So business as usual then. If Team Piper wins, Piper gets a rematch with Hogan in a steel cage. Gotta wonder what was in it for the Horsemen to hook up with Piper. If Team WCW wins, the NWO must forfeit all of their titles AND they can't wrestle in WCW for THREE YEARS. Might as well say eleventy billion years, that one's not happening and everyone knows it. One final twist is after the attack on Rick Steiner Team WCW is already down a man, so they won't have anyone to come out in the last period.

 

Triangle Elimination Match: Team NWO (w/Dennis Rodman) def Team Piper and Team WCW in 19:22-

P1. Chris Benoit (Team Piper), WCW World Tag Team Champion Scott Hall (Team NWO), The Giant (Team WCW)- Benoit and Hall are already fighting as Giant makes his entrance. After that the vast majority of the period is Giant dominating no matter what the other two try to do. Hall hops on Giant's back and puts on a sleeper that almost looks like it might work, then Giant flips him over. Benoit eats a chokeslam but Hall breaks the pin up, which is not a smart move in this type of match. Near the end of the period Hall dodges a Giant avalanche, with Giant going over the top rope and all the way to the floor, eliminating him! Commentary doesn't realize what happened at first, and when they do they're stunned Giant is out.

P2. Jeff Jarrett (Team Piper), "Macho Man" Randy Savage (Team NWO), "The Total Package" Lex Luger (Team WCW)- Jarrett works Hall over and struts before the other two come out. Savage tries to jump Jarrett but gets jumped instead. Luger press slams Jarrett and gorilla presses Savage.

P3. Steve "Mongo" McMichael (Team Piper), WCW World Tag Team Champion Kevin Nash (Team NWO), Scott Steiner (Team WCW)- Nash hits Jarrett with snake eyes. Scott double underhook suplexes Hall, then Nash jumps him from behind. Steinerline on Nash. Benoit saves Jarrett from a Razor's Edge. Nash 360 clotheslines Jarrett over the top to the floor and he's gone. Hall backdrops Mongo over the top and out.

P4. "Rowdy" Roddy Piper (Team Piper), WCW World Heavyweight Champion Hollywood Hogan (Team NWO)- Nash big boots Scott over the top and out, leaving Luger alone for Team WCW. Hogan doesn't show up after Piper gets in, and another countdown comes on the screen even though everyone is (theoretically) in the match. When the countdown is at about 45 second Hogan and Rodman finally start sauntering to the ring. Piper chokes Savage with a chain. Hogan stalls forever on the floor, then finally gets in. "We want Sting" chant from the crowd. Hogan tosses Piper through the ropes, not over, to the floor. Piper pulls Hogan out and they brawl up the aisle. Savage comes out to save Hogan and they all get back in. After some Hogan/Piper flailing around Rodman pulls the top rope down and Piper falls to the floor, eliminated. Security stops Piper from going after Rodman. Hogan goes out and beats on Piper some more. Back in the ring, Nash has to help Hall get Benoit up for the Razor's Edge. After that hits Benoit is tossed. It's down to all four NWO guys against Luger. It'd be better if we hadn't seen almost the exact "Luger vs the whole NWO" setup in the World War 3 battle royale just a few months earlier. Rodman gets on the apron and the NWO goofs around while taking occasional shots at Luger. Nash goes for the jackknife. Luger flips out! Clotheslines for everyone. He gets Savage in the Torture Rack, and Savage submits! Nash gets 360 clotheslined out! Hall is Racked and submits! It's down to Luger and Hogan. Luger gets Hogan in the Rack! The ref is holding Nash back. Savage hits Luger with Rodman's can of spray paint, Hogan falls on Luger, and gets the pin to win it for Team NWO. Not too bad actually. It's not great, but it's amazing what can happen when WCW makes a solid set of rules for a unique match and actually sticks to them. **1/2

After the match Rodman spray paints Luger and gives him a couple of slaps. The NWO clear Luger out of the ring and the show closes with the usual long NWO celebration........or not! Here comes Sting down from the rafters and into the ring! He takes Hall out with the bat! And Nash! And Savage! Scorpion Death Drops all around! The crowd is going BONKERS! Sting points his bat at Hogan! Rodman is "holding" Hogan back. Hogan tells Sting to put the bat down. Sting does! Hogan slowly, cautiously, walks up and gets in the ring. Sting's all over him! Scorpion Death Drop on Hogan! "We're outta time folks, we gotta go!". After months in the shadows amid a multitude of questions on where his loyalty was, Sting answered them all with an emphatic statement. He was out to destroy the NWO, and Hogan. Along with DDP/Savage, this would be the feud that would carry WCW through the rest of '97. Now it could be argued that they stretched it out too long, and I think it's objectively true that when it finally came time for the final resolution at Starrcade they fucked it up royally, but that doesn't take away the awesomeness of this moment.

OVERALL SHOW THOUGHTS- Another PPV with pretty solid quality across the board, though without anything hitting the absolute top shelf. The main event held together pretty well, and that great closing with Sting is easily worth a bump in the final tally.

OVERALL SHOW GRADE: C+