Great American Bash '99

Legacy Review

Great American Bash '99

June 13, 1999 from the Baltimore Arena in Baltimore, MD

 

Commentary: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan and Mike Tenay

 

Amazingly, they manage to have nearly 10 minutes of opening segments and video packages before anyone steps foot in the ring and have absolutely nothing of note said or happen. Doesn't bode well for the rest of the show.

 

Hardcore Match: Hak (w/Chastity) def Brian Knobbs (w/Jimmy Hart) in 5:41- The WCW Hardcore title is coming, I promise. Just like the dragons. Knobbs has been reunited with Hart, who managed the Nasty Boys in WWF. Knobbs wants to get rid of the kendo sticks and all the other toys and "see who's really hardcore". Um, he he talking about fighting or.....something else? Turner's a PG show you know, PPV or no. Knobbs tosses his trash can away, then gets another one from Hart and nails Hak from behind with it. Commentary goes on about "the first SWERVE of the night". Easy to see where their mentality is right now. And we're still months away from Russo coming in.. Knobbs follows up with can lid shots, then gives Hak the Nasty Boys classic, the pit stop. Hak cuts off a chairshot and nails Knobbs with it. He goes under the ring and gets a ladder. He tosses the ladder into the ring right onto Knobbs! Crap that looked ugly. When Hak gets back in Knobbs waffles him with a trash can! I think that might have been a receipt. They do a messy little bit with the ladder on Knobbs and Hak hits a slingshot legdrop into the ladder. Knobbs' leg gets pulverized by a chairshot with it in the ladder, which of course goes nowhere. Knobbs tosses Hak into the ladder, who does an upside down bump into it. Another can lid shot for Hak. Knobbs swings the ladder into Hak. Hak tights pulls Knobbs into the ladder. Knobbs dodges and Hak sentons off the top rope onto the ladder. Hart sets up on the apron with a chair. Hak tosses Knobbs  into it. Kendo shot to Knobbs' head, and Hak covers to get the pin. Absolutely nothing special. 3/4*

 

After the bell Hugh Morris, another member of Hart's "family" (ripping off the Heenan Family) attacks and he and Knobbs take Hak out with a spike piledriver and Morris moonsault onto the ladder on Hak. 

 

Van Hammer def Mikey Whipwreck in 8:35- Hammer's had yet another reinvention as a no nonsense heel and is getting a small push as a result of it. Heenan gets on Whipwreck for wearing kneepads as boot covers. I have to agree. The larger Hammer tosses Whipwreck around until Whipwrecks gets a couple of armdrags. He tries a hiptoss but Hammer easily muscles him to a backbreaker. Commence more easy tossing around that eventually starts getting some "boring" chants. Hammer's delayed superplex is pretty impressive looking, I'll give him that. An abdominal stretch with the heel rope leverage game kills some time. Whipwreck makes the mistake of trying a backslide and gets squashed in the corner instead. Hammer tosses Whipwreck out, sets the stairs up against the guardrail, then climbs the stairs with Whipwreck to drop him down on the guardrail. Whipwreck tights pulls Hammer into the guardrail, then hits a slingshot legdrop and a plancha. Thesz press off the top rope from Whipwreck for 2. He tries coming off the top again and Hammer catches and spinebusters him. Hammer hits his new finisher, a cobra clutch slam, and it's thankfully over. A very extended squash that belonged on Nitro. 1/4*

 

Buff Bagwell def Disco Inferno in 10:33- Any bets on the combined IQ of the two guys in the ring being lower than the match time? Probably too easy a bet. Both guys play to the crowd before locking up. Early speed run and Disco hits a swinging neckbreaker. Bagwell quickly goes out to think about it. More speed and this time Bagwell hits a swinging neckbreaker. Some more basic back and forth follows with Bagwell hopping to the second rope looking for an early Blockbuster. Disco sees it coming and quickly gets the hell out of town. When Disco gets back in the ring Bagwell tells him he's #1. Bet that gave some Turner exec a heart attack. Disco maneuvers Bagwell into a hot shot and follows up with a clothesline. Inverted atomic drop from Disco. He goes into a some generic stompy chokey heel offense, then goes up to the second rope, dances a while, and hits an elbow for 2. Another go and this time Bagwell dodges. Backdrop and clothesline from Bagwell. He goes up top and Disco crotches him on the top rope. Disco hits the Chartbuster, er, the Last Dance on the floor. They keep changing the name of that. Disco goes for the countout win but Bagwell is back in at 8. Disco's so shocked he doesn't know what to do next. He hooks up Bagwell for a macarena piledriver but Bagwell backdrops out (after the macarena was done of course). Comeback flurry from Bagwell. Powerslam. Disco tries to dodge it, but the Blockbuster hits and it's over. *

 

The No Limit Soldiers def The West Texas Rednecks in 10:44- Nice to see some teams finally getting proper team names. The No Limit Soldiers are the longstanding friendship of Konnan and Rey Mysterio Jr, and the West Texas Rednecks are proper Texan Bobby Duncum Jr partnering with Minnesota's own and nowhere near Texan Curt Hennig. This is another one of those "country music vs rap music" feuds, which as usual means I'll be rooting for the ref. The Rednecks' entrance music is Hennig singing his own song "Rap is Crap" from Nitro. Konnan and Mysterio have gas masks on. We're still over two years away from that (understandable) panic. Probably some rap reference I don't get and don't care to. There's some rap dude ringside that, again, didn't care then and don't care now. Mysterio is still the Cruiserweight champion by the way, second straight PPV he's not defending that. Hennig runs the rap guy's hit song down on the mic so the Soldiers attack him from behind. A couple of double teams with Hennig trying to get one of his classic over the top bumps in clears the ring out. Rap dude apparently hits Hennig from behind while Konnan has him distracted. Toss him out, fans shouldn't be touching wrestlers. Reset with Duncum and Konnan. Konnan rolls through some slow motion counters, then Mysterio comes in with a flying headscissors for Duncum and he shotgun dropkicks Hennig off the apron. Plancha onto Hennig! He tries a springboard crossbody back in but Duncum catches him and gives him a backbreaker. I swear Duncum is wearing Barry Windham's old gear. I think even 1999 Windham would likely be superior to Duncum. The heels drastically slow the match down while keeping Mysterio in peril. Hennig bumps himself while corner whipping Mysterio. Classic Mr. Perfect era stuff. Then dumbass Duncum actually lets Mysterio tag out. What a Duncum. Fortunately Hennig had the ref tied up so he doesn't allow the tag. Hennig can still do the standing dropkick. Honestly he does look better than he did a year or two ago. They keep working Konnan and the ref to keep Mysterio in peril. Konnan tries to make a save when Mysterio had already countered Hennig into his own cradle pin attempt. What a Duncum. Hennig puts the straps down, gives us a hip swivel and points upstairs. Nice shoutout to his buddy Rick Rude, who had passed away less than two months prior. Finally Mysterio crawls under both heels and tags. But the ref didn't see it AGAIN. Getting a bit ridiculous now. Big delayed suplex from Hennig. Mysterio tries a springboard moonsault. Hennig catches him, but Mysterio uses it for a comeback flurry and tags Konnan finally for real this time. DONNYBROOK! Mysterio gives Hennig the shitty bronco buster. Hey, here comes the real Barry Windham. One of the rap guy's 47 bodyguards (why do they always need so many?) hops the rail and nails Duncum. Springboard legdrop from Mysterio on Duncum and he gets the pin. After the bell all of the rap guy's entourage try to get involved and security forces them to the back. The heel trio then beats the faces down to get their heat back. OK formula tag stuff. In better circumstances Hennig could probably carry Duncum to being a decent tag pairing. **1/4

 

Ernest "The Cat" Miller (w/Sonny Oono) def Scott Norton Horace Hogan in 5:10- One word: Why? Let's get this over with. This was supposed to be Miller against Scott Norton, but Norton didn't make the town for unexplained reasons so Hogan is substituting himself in. In fact Norton would spend the summer back with New Japan, but whether WCW knew that in advance or not who knows. Hogan charges in and they slug it out with some of the worst punches I've ever seen. Clothesline from Hogan. Hiptoss out of the corner. He tosses Miller out to the floor, chops him, and tosses him back in the ring. Huge point to that. Back in Miller gets a superkick to put Hogan down. Slam from Miller and he builds up to....a choke. The blind leading the blind here. Hogan gets tossed out and Oono gets some kicks in that only annoy Hogan. Miller jumps from behind and knocks Hogan around ringside. Hogan gets a slam in the ring and follows up with an elbow drop for 2. Straight low blow from Miller. Heenan: "All of Cat's matches are brutal". Shoot comments for the win! Hogan gets a big boot and hits a big splash for 2. Oono gets on the apron. Miller tries to jump but Hogan backdrops him over the top to the floor. Oono goes into his briefcase, gets a dress shoe, and Miller puts it on. Superkick with the obviously loaded shoe and Miller gets the pin. Who uses a shoe, honestly? DUD

 

For the Presidency of WCW (again): "Nature Boy" Ric Flair (w/Arn Anderson and Asya) def "Rowdy" Roddy Piper by DQ in 8:16- Please Lord let this be better than their Slamboree match. I still can't believe I had to give a match that a guy that is both my all time favorite and in my opinion the greatest there's ever been was in a MINUS FIVE STARS rating, but....it was that bad. The horrible booking shenanigans with Bischoff coming out and just declaring the winner was what really pushed it over the edge to MFS, but the match itself was still really damn bad. Last match Flair wore blue trunks and kneepads with black boots to match Piper, this time the pads and boots are the same but with red trunks. Piper spits at Flair and they exchange chops in the corner with Flair obviously calling spots. Backdrop from Piper and Flair begs off. Corner jabs from Piper and he goes punching bag nuts on Flair's head. Flair Flop! More chops from Piper and the ol' two finger eye poke that Flair sells the hell out of. Piper backslide for 2. Flair gets in a shoving match with ref Randy Anderson and Piper jabs him down again. Flair rolls out to think about things. Reset lockup back in. Piper gets a shoulderblock and pounds Flair down on the mat. Flair begs off again. Spaceballs salute in response from Piper and more jabs. Another beg off. Flair hides in the corner to get a sneaky style low blow in. He tosses Piper out to let Arn pound away on him. Asya then rakes Piper's eyes. Straight Greco Roman Nut Punt from Flair. Arn supposedly had the ref distracted but it's not like WCW refs cared about that for months anyway. Piper grabs Flair's tights to moon the audience again, Flair's been doing that a lot lately like mid '90s Shawn Michaels, and rolls him up for 2. Flair slam off the top rope. Clotheslines from Piper. Flair tosses him out again, but this time Piper decks Arn. Piper just manages to get over a sunset flip for 2. Sleeper! Flair manages to push free. Arn distracts Piper and Flair gets the knucks on. He decks Piper with them. Very slow cover and Piper kicks out. Figure four! With Arn leverage help. Buff Bagwell, who's been buddying up to Piper lately, runs in and takes Arn out! He attacks Piper, but right in the ref's view and gets Piper DQ'd! What a Duncum. Pissed Piper attacks Bagwell for costing him the match! Arn gives Bagwell the World's Greatest Spinebuster, then Flair and Arn hold Bagwell down for Piper to belt whip him! Everyone unites in hatred of Buff. Seems right to me. Piper gets some final belt shots in on Buff after everyone else leaves. The match was marginally better than their last one. Marginally. 1/4*

 

Falls Count Anywhere: WCW World Television Champion Rick Steiner def Sting in 10:35- Rick Steiner getting his biggest singles push in a decade was not something I would have had on my bingo card in 1999. I guess he can thank Scott. This is a non-title match I presume because that's what WCW usually did with champions in gimmick matches. Quick start from Sting. After some floor shots Rick pounds Sting down in the ring. Sting hits a pair of inverted atomic drops and a dropkick. Back and forth brawl on the floor with Rick hitting a weak chairshot. Both guys use drinks from fans as weapons. Rick dodges a Stinger Splash on the floor and Sting crashes into the guardrail. Rick pulls up the floor mat and piledrives Sting on the concrete, then covers for 2. You're seriously going to pull out a piledriver on concrete as a transitional move? Greco Roman Nut Stomp from Rick back in the ring. Release German suplex for 2. Rick works some extremely dull offense in the ring until, in an obvious setup, Sting flips around to crotch him. Sting hits a pair of Vader bombs, then goes up top and hits a big splash for 2. Another low blow from Rick. We're going to need a lot of ice packs in the back tonight. He hooks Sting up in a butterfly type hold. This is Falls Count Anywhere, by the way. You'd be forgiven for forgetting that. Sting powers out and gets Rick down again. Stinger Splash! A second. Scorpion Death Lock! Rick gets a fairly easy rope break. Sting tosses him out and they go up the aisle to the stage area. Sting suplexes Rick on the ramp. They go over to the internet position and Chris Jericho makes his actual final blink and you'll miss it WCW PPV appearance because he's on radio/internet commentary tonight. The wrestlers go through the curtain to the back, to the boos of the crowd because they can't see. When they go through the curtain Tank Abbott (a UFC guy WCW had brought in, think "I want Ken Shamrock/We have Ken Shamrock at home" and it's Tank Abbott) attacks Sting. Scott Steiner is also there. A dog runs up and jumps on Sting. He gnawing away on a towel or something Sting just wrapped around his hand to protect himself, not that he needed much protection. It's like a young dog gnawing on something for teething, which is probably exactly what it is. Another dog playfully tugs on Sting's tights. Scott has another dog. Security runs in. And....end scene. What? That's it? Tony says they have to cut away because it's "so violent". Suuuuuuure. There were so many cuts and edits after they went backstage I think Kevin Dunn infiltrated the WCW production truck. Now the Steiners are dragging the ref back to the ring. Scott takes a mic and says it's Falls Count Anywhere and the ref rings the bell. Scott claims Rick pinned Sting but they can't show the footage because it's too disturbing while the crowd chants "Bullshit". Terrible "finish", and neither guy tried during the rest of the match because they knew the shit was coming. The saddest thing is, this isn't the worst wrestling thing involving dogs that would happen this year. WWF's Kennel from Hell match was three months after this. DUD

 

One of the perfect encapsulations of end of life WCW in one image.

 

WCW World Tag Team Championship: The Jersey Triad (w/Bam Bam Bigelow) def Chris Benoit & Perry Saturn (c) in 19:13- The Jersey Triad are the union of Bigelow, DDP and Kanyon because all three guys are from New Jersey. Not something I'd advertise but whatever. Dean Malenko was out with an injury and with Flair being the heel WCW President making the Horsemen no more (again) Saturn stepped in to fill the void. Benoit and Kanyon start with some basics. Benoit hits a dropkick and Kanyon bails back to his corner. Benoit shrugs off some Kanyon shots and hits chops. Early everyone runs in and the faces clear the ring. Reset with both sides tagging. They do some decent back and forth stuff. Saturn hits a slam and springboard legdrop and everyone runs in again. The heels regroup again on the floor. Saturn and Benoit take a shot at Benoit, then give the Jersey boys stereo belly to belly suplexes. Saturn Cactus clotheslines Kanyon! Bigelow trips Benoit and DDP 360 clotheslines him to the floor. The heels work the ref so all three can lay in punishment. Avalanche legdrop from Kanyon for 2. Commentary goes back to talking about the dog "attack" on Sting while Benoit is in peril. Benoit has a comeback flurry and hits DDP with a bridged Saito suplex for 2. He goes for a German, but DDP hooks the ropes and low blows him. Ice packs. So many ice packs. Sit out powerbomb from DDP. Kanyon tags in, goes up top, but Benoit dodges the moonsault. Tag to Saturn. Hot tag run. Kanyon gets t-bone suplexed. Big splash off the top on DDP for 2. While Saturn's giving DDP mounted punches Kanyon lifts Saturn in an electric chair and drops him down. DDP covers for 2 and now Saturn is in peril. Kanyon mocking tagging Saturn when Saturn was reaching out in the wrong corner is pretty funny. Saturn tries a sunset flip on Kanyon, but Kanyon tags DDP and holds Saturn down for a DDP elbow off the top for 2. Kanyon swinging neckbreaker for a long 2 that I think was really 3, Saturn was late on that kickout. Saturn fights out of the heel corner but DDP drop toe holds him to cut the tag off. They very obviously set up for the phantom tag spot, and there it is. Even commentary wasn't surprised by that. Saturn dodges in the corner and DDP flings himself up on the top turnbuckle gut first. Tag to Benoit! Both Jersey guys get knocked around and DDP falls into Kanyon's crotch. Benoit runs Kanyon into Bigelow. ROLLLLLLLLLLLING GERMANS! The third is with a bridge but DDP breaks the pin up. Dragon suplex from Benoit on Kanyon! Saturn has DDP held back, but Kanyon still JUST kicks out! By far the best near fall tonight. Benoit goes up top and hits the headbutt on Kanyon. Saturn tries coming off the top, RIGHT INTO A DIAMOND CUTTER! That was great. Malenko makes his way out. Benoit gets the crossface on DDP! Bigelow breaks the crossface up, DDP hits a Bigelow assisted Cutter on Benoit, and Kanyon drapes an arm over for the pin and the titles! Malenko then takes the double team Cutter after the bell. Finally a good match on this show. Most of it was solid formula tag stuff, but better than the earlier tag match, while the stretch run was well done. One of the few times in WCW I've seen a tag match with an elaborate finish like that come off right with no major screw ups. ***1/4

 

WCW World Heavyweight Championship: Kevin Nash (c) def "Macho Man" Randy Savage (w/Team Madness) by DQ in 7:29- During the course of this feud Nash or his allies have dumped raw sewage on Savage, Savage has put lipstick all over Nash's face multiple times, there's been a fake mocking double of Nash, and some attempted vehicular homicide that also included an attempt to recreate WWF's "WHERE TO, STEPHANIE?" moment. They've really checked a lot of '90s wrestling tropes off. Someone really needs to find a "Give us the short version" switch on Buffer. Nash is also coming in with hurt ribs from an earlier attack. Nash gives Savage's ladies a crotch chop and goes to work on Savage. Right to the corner knees and elbows. Corner clothesline, but he hurt his own ribs doing that. Side suplex and that hurts the ribs even more. Savage gets up and starts attacking the bad ribs. With an eye rake thrown in for good measure. He 360 clotheslines Nash to the floor. Medusa comes up and gives Nash a kick in the ribs. I do appreciate she dressed for the show with her US flag gear, heel or no. Savage stays in control with less ribs focus and more generic heel punchy chokey stuff. Nash comes back by giving Savage, what else, a low blow. The women all get on the apron. Missile dropkick from Miss Madness! That was actually really good. Savage elbow off the top! Nash kicks out! He starts to slug back. Snake eyes on Savage. Big boot. The straps are down. Jackknife! Medusa comes in and kicks Nash's ribs again, then Gorgeous George hops on Nash's back and gets tossed off. Miss Madness goes up top again. This time Nash is ready and catches her. Snake eyes on Miss Madness! Another good bump from her. Someone comes in and big boots Nash! IT'S SID VICIOUS! SID IS BACK! Since leaving WWF almost exactly two years prior, Sid had been working part time on the indies and had just had a short stint in ECW. He hadn't been seen in WCW since the infamous Arn Anderson scissors stabbing incident in late '93. Now the ref calls for the bell. The women interfering was OK, but Sid was too much. Sid powerbomb on Nash. He helps Savage up and leaves with Team Madness as the show closes. Another trash Bischoff era WCW main event, but Sid's return was a good and genuinely unexpected surprise. 1/2*

 

OVERALL SHOW THOUGHTS- A true contender to rival GAB '91 as the worst GAB ever. WCW was able to recover from that one, for a time, thanks to a change at the top. No such help is coming this time.

OVERALL SHOW GRADE: D-