Halloween Havoc '99

Legacy Review

Halloween Havoc '99

October 24, 1999 from the MGM Grand Garden Arena in Las Vegas, NV

 

Commentary: Tony Schiavone and Bobby Heenan

 

Once again, a new era of WCW has arrived. Just before Fall Brawl last month Turner let Eric Bischoff go due to WCW's cratering business over the course of the year. In early October, they brought in Bischoff's replacement: Vince Russo, along with his writing partner Ed Ferrara. Russo was a writer for WWF Magazine before getting a spot on the WWF creative team in '96 and quickly rose up to head of creative. He was generally thought of as the architect of the Attitude Era and the brains or secret weapon behind WWF's rise to dethrone WCW from the top of the Monday night ratings war. I'm sure Russo thought so. Now WCW's hoping he'll bring them the same magic to get back on top. That's right kids, it's time for the WCW Crash TV era! Get in crash positions!

 

 

One plus tonight, in a year that WCW was changing all the PPV logos the fantastic Halloween Havoc logo has stayed essentially the same, as does the classic Halloween Havoc stage setup, always one of the best of the year. One Russo change is immediately evident- commentary has been moved away from the platform in the back of the arena they occupied during the entire Bischoff era and are back in their traditional spot ringside. Rare good Russo move. Mike Tenay has also been moved back to interviewing so for the first time in a long time in WCW we have just a two man booth. Another thing I should point out up front, right now on screen Russo and Ferrara are being referred to as the "Powers That Be". No, it's not an Angel reference. The PTBs are meant to be a shadowy cabal that were controlling all the decisions being made by the company at that time. Eventually it'll lead to Russo becoming an on screen character, which brought the company to a whole new level of train wreck.

 

WCW Cruiserweight Championship: Disco Inferno (c) def Lash LeRoux in 7:35- LeRoux was a ground up WCW project fully trained in the Power Plant and he's making his PPV debut tonight. As soon as LeRoux gets his shirt off Disco clotheslines him. Ah, jump starts. Another Russo trademark. Disco stomps him down in the corner and does some posing. LeRoux tries to come back but Disco ducks a clothesline, eye pokes him and hits a DDT. LeRoux leaps over Disco, hits a dropkick and a slam for 2. Powerslam from LeRoux for 2. He mocks Disco's dancing with some of his own and hits a clothesline for 2. Disco hits a back elbow that looks like it really caught an unsuspecting LeRoux flush. LeRoux sidesteps and tosses Disco out to the floor. Disco takes a stair shot, then LeRoux goes into the post. Coming back in Disco tries a double ax handle off the second rope but LeRoux catches him and hits another powerslam for 2. LeRoux barely gets off a flying headscissors off the top rope for 2. That got a big "Oh he fucked up, I hope everyone's all right" gasp from the crowd. Disco fights out of a chinlock and hits a sloppy as hell clothesline for 2. He momentum tosses LeRoux over the top rope but LeRoux, I suppose, skinned the cat back in. Bad camera cut there. Disco goes for the LastChartDanceBuster whatever it is today but LeRoux pushes out and hits a backbreaker. They fumble around a bit while weakly swinging punches at each other. LeRoux tries to float over in the corner but Disco drops him. Swinging neckbreaker for 2. Russian leg sweep and Disco goes to the second rope. The elbow hits for 2. Piledriver from Disco for 2. LeRoux ducks and hits a powerbomb for 2. They have another muff where LeRoux ducks a clothesline but Disco still hits the top of his head snapping his head back, then Disco hits an inverted atomic drop. The LCDB hits and it's over. After the bell LeRoux fireman carry falcon arrows Disco onto the belt for revenge. When they were on the same page it was OK, but they were only on the same page like every other move. In other words, a fairly typical Disco match plus LeRoux's inexperience showing. *3/4

 

We get footage from earlier tonight of Benoit and Malenko telling Saturn (and relay the message to Shane Douglas) to shove the Revolution up his ass. Guess that group's over. Also another Russo innovation, bringing the word "ass" to Turner TV. 

 

Triangle Street Fight for the Vacant WCW World Tag Team Championship: Harlem Heat def The Filthy Animals and The First Family (w/Jimmy Hart) in 5:02- Get used to the word "vacant", you're going to be hearing it a LOT during Russo's tenure. Remember that knee injury Mysterio had at Fall Brawl, the one that didn't seem too serious after? Turned out it was. He'd be out a bit after all. Due to that, instead of letting the Animals defend under Freebird rules Russo just earlier today stripped them, because he loved vacating titles as much as AWA's Stanley Blackburn did holding them up. It's Konnan and Kidman wrestling for the Animals tonight. The First Family all come out with Halloween masks on. OK then. They also have the rolling dumpster full of hardcore toys with them. The Animals come out with the belts on. When you STRIP them, doesn't that mean you physically take the belts off them? Kidman also has a camcorder with him because why not. He leaves it on the commentary table and asks them to keep it safe. Nothing comes of it. The bell rings and the trash cans are instantly flying around. We've got two refs for this match too, not that it'll help much. After the requisite floor brawl there's a funny moment in the ring when Knobbs accidentally hits his partner Morris with a trash can and Morris does a crazy delayed flop off it. Booker then side kicks Knobbs and covers Morris for 2. Hart gets in the ring and hits Booker with a trash can lid! Bad move, Jimmy. Run for your life! And he does. That leads to Heat and Knobbs trashing the cemetery area on the stage and then fighting backstage, giving me bad flashbacks to Uncensored '95 and that disastrous street fight. At least no one's accidentally poured that liquid cotton candy is made from all over the floor this time. Morris presses Kidman down into the top of a chair. Ouch. Morris DDTs Konnan and tells HART to get a table! And he does. Morris goes up top and moonsaults Konnan through the table! Meanwhile in the back Booker hits Knobbs with a dummy dressed as a mummy. Wait! That's no mummy! That's THE YETAY! The bandages are unmistakable. Booker covers Knobbs and gets the pin! Guess it was falls count anywhere too. Wait, something happened in the ring we never saw. The other ref counted a pin in there and the bell rung. Booker and Kidman argue over the belts, but it's settled quickly and Heat are declared the winners and champions because they got a pin first. It's their tenth WCW tag title win. Konnan has a hurt shoulder after the match and is helped out but he would be back the next night. ReyRey and Torrie Wilson also show up on the stage after the match for no reason. OKish all over plunder brawl but I got lots of comedy mileage out of it at least. **

 

Harlem Heat reign #10 would last an entire day, as they lost the titles to Konnan and Kidman the next night on Nitro. Why not just have the Animals win this match? Don't ask, it's Russo. I won't lie, it feels a little good to get that line out again. And, sadly, I'm going to have to use it a lot for the rest of WCW's run.

 

Footage of Ric Flair walking into the arena WITH A CROWBAR. No other explanation at this time.

 

DDP's music hits for in ring promo segment #1 tonight. Yup, it's Russo. He's got a match with Flair later tonight. Kimberly is back with him after being off TV for a while. Kimberly drops the SEXUAL INNUENDO because we're edgy now. I don't mind visualizing Kimberly at all, but she's throwing DDP in there and that's an image my brain does not need. DDP gives us the first saying of "swerve" in the Russo era. DDP to the crowd: "I can't possibly suck, I'm not from Las Vegas!". Dude, you're from New Jersey. Zero leg to stand on there. DDP drops a bunch of "spank it, jack it, whack it" lines while not being able to get the strap for his match out of his pants. There's a metaphor.

 

Eddie Guerrero def Perry Saturn by DQ in 11:12- Guerrero's Filthy Animals teammates are barred from ringside for this. He comes to the ring wearing Ric Flair's Rolex watch that he apparently stole. Allegedly. Like Eddie Guerrero would ever steal anything. He leaves it with Heenan because he trusts Heenan, not Tony, which leads to some decent commentary comedy hijinks the entire match. The bell rings and we jump again with Saturn dodging a dropkick. They do a nice speed/counter sequence and Saturn hits a hot shot. Double stomp on Guerrero for 2. Guerrero slides under and basement dropkicks Saturn's knee, then tosses him out to the floor. Elbow to the head off the apron. Guerrero sets the stairs up, but Saturn presses him and drops him on the stairs! That was an ugly looking hit, he dropped right into them face first. Pop up powerbomb with a cradle from Saturn back in for 2. Springboard crossbody for 2. He cranks on Guerrero's arm for a bit, then faceplants Guerrero. Saturn goes for a cross armbreaker. Guerrero knucklelocks to block it. Saturn rolls Guerrero over into a nice hammerlock/headscissors combination. Guerrero kicks back, snap mares Saturn and rakes his eyes with his boots. Basement dropkick for 2. Another counter run and Saturn hits the t-bone suplex for 2. Saturn switches gears and goes for Guerrero's knee now. Guerrero tries to roll free but Saturn stays with him. After that Guerrero goes to the eye rake to get free. Saito suplex from Guerrero for 2. He hooks Saturn in a top wristlock while on the mat, then switches to a short arm scissors. Saturn does a nice rollover to get free, lifts Guerrero up and drops him back down electric chair style. Springboard moonsault! Guerrero kicks out! Saturn goes for another one but Guerrero gets his knees up. Brain buster from Guerrero and he goes up top. Saturn dodges the frog splash! Saturn tries another springboard but Guerrero dropkicks him in midair. Saturn hot shots Guerrero in the corner. After some back and forth on the corner Saturn hits a t-bone superplex. Slow cover for 2. He sets Guerrero up top again and grabs him for what looks like an avalanche Razor's Edge. Guerrero manages to flip free and dropkicks Saturn. Superplex from Guerrero. Here comes Flair with Mr. Crowbar, looking for his watch. He gets in the ring and attacks Guerrero, drawing the DQ. Crowbar shot to Guerrero's ribs! Kidman runs in and takes crowbar shots. Torrie comes in and covers up Kidman. Flair grabs her, teases a crowbar shot, but struts around instead. He kisses Torrie! She....does not mind. Space Mountain time. Flair walks out without his watch. Guess Torrie made him forget. Wait, Flair's running back. He goes over and gets the watch from Heenan. I think he legitimately forgot to do that. Oh yeah, there was a match before all of that. Guerrero and Saturn had some nice bits, but could have strung them together better and, of course, had an actual finish. Under better circumstances this could have been really good. **1/2

 

HOLD ON, THERE'S SOMETHING GOING ON IN THE BACK! That's Tony shouting, not me. Goldberg is wailing away on Sid! Security runs in to break them up. Sid yells "Is that all you've got?" while bleeding profusely. Welcome to the blood era, Turner.

 

In ring promo segment #2, this time with Buff Bagwell. Bagwell says he has a problem with the two new "writers" from up north. You thought WWE: Unreal exposed the business? He's also got a problem with Jeff Jarrett doing what he does best, smashing a guitar on his head. Wait, Jarrett? Yup, as Russo's best bud wrestler he came along on the trip back to WCW. Bagwell gives us our first saying of "stroke" in the Russo era. "Swerve" I can almost handle as long as it's used well, but I despise wrestlers saying "stroke" on screen in a clearly insider reference way. Jarrett runs out and Bagwell attacks him. After they back and forth brawl for a bit Lex Luger runs out. He takes the guitar and Bagwell holds Jarrett for him. Jarrett ducks and Luger hits Bagwell with the guitar! And it doesn't break! Double failure. Luger smashes the guitar over the top turnbuckle instead so he can say it was broken.

 

Backstage, Sid tosses away the doctor working on him and has a hissy fit. Elsewhere, Guerrero gets on his 1999 cell phone and demands his Filthy Animal backup come back to the arena. 

 

Brad Armstrong def Berlyn (w/The Wall) in 4:23- Brad Armstrong, still hanging around. After his "B.A." phase he's reverted back to his classic look, albeit with shorter hair, from when he was one of the more underrated junior heavyweights/cruiserweights of the late '80s and early '90s. His brother Road Dogg was one of Russo's favorites in WWF, that probably didn't hurt him in getting booking opportunities either. This is the second PPV match for Alex Wright's repackage as Berlyn. This one can't go any worse than the last one against Jim Duggan. It looks like they've put some kind of framerate filter on Berlyn's entrance to make it look more film like, which is.....really dumb. Lockup! Russo must be spitting nails. It's all Berlyn early, working Armstrong's arm over and doing some easy escapes when Armstrong tries to counter. Armstrong manages to get an armdrag and dropkick for 2. Berlyn Saitos out of a headlock. Pop up powerbomb from Berlyn for 2. After a leg lariat Berlyn takes forever playing to the crowd before covering. When he does Armstrong counters into a cradle for 2. Suplex with a floatover from Berlyn for 2. Armstrong gets a head of steam off the ropes and gets a crossbody for 2, but then Berlyn murders him with a clothesline for 2. More total domination from Berlyn as this is getting into squash territory. He goes for his hangman's neckbreaker finisher. Armstrong grabs the ropes to block it, falls on Berlyn, and gets a pin! HAHAHAHAHAHA that's one of the funniest match endings I've ever seen. Say goodbye to any credibility for Wright's new persona. After the bell Berlyn Wall lay Armstrong out in a desperate attempt to get some heat back but stick a fork in them, they're already done. The match was at least a competent wrestling match, which is way more than you can say about his Fall Brawl disaster with Duggan. 1/2*

 

WCW World Television Championship: Rick Steiner def Chris Benoit (c) in 12:50- Time to see how much of a miracle worker Benoit really is. He's going to have to overcome both Rick's broken down body awfulness and Russo's general disdain for having wrestling on his wrestling show. At the same time! Benoit defeated Rick for the title on the Nitro after Fall Brawl, just after Benoit lost the US title to Sid. The bell rings and Rick steps out to stall. After a bit Benoit goes for a baseball slide. Rick sidesteps it, jumps Benoit getting in the ring and starts pounding away on him. Steinerline! One plus is Rick's typical stiffness isn't going to bother Benoit any. Pop up suplex from Rick for 2. Benoit dodges an elbow drop and lays in some chops. Superplex from Benoit. He counters a Steinerline attempt by going for the crossface! Rick keeps running all the way out of the ring to get free. Benoit TOPE SUICIDA! After that Rick dodges on the floor and Benoit goes into the guardrail. Stair shot on Benoit and Rick rolls him back in for 2. Benoit corner whips Rick back and forth a few times, then barely connects with a dropkick that Rick was out of position for. Rick rolls out again and takes his sweet time getting back in. He then does his usual thing to turn the match around at this point of his career, shoves the ref aside and hits a Greco Roman Nut Punt. He starts working on Benoit's leg. Benoit hits a short clothesline but Rick dodges another dropkick. He rubs Benoit's face into the mat and it's chinlock time. Benoit tries to slide under but Rick just turns around and kicks him. He's clearly done with selling. Rick goes for a powerbomb. It looks like Benoit's going to counter by flipping out, but he just plants himself on the mat behind Rick instead. Not sure what that was supposed to be. Flash small package from Benoit for 2. Rick runs Benoit upside down into the corner for 2. Release German suplex from Rick and slow cover for 2. Another release German and another slow cover that gets 2. Benoit manages to use Rick's suplex hook up to counter with a DDT. Tackle from Benoit. More chops. ROLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLING GERMANS! All three hit for a 2 count. Rick pushes Benoit into the corner, then pushes the ref into Benoit. Benoit thinks the ref is Rick and back elbows him. Steinerline from Rick. He goes out and gets a chair. Benoit ducks a chair swing and Saito suplexes Rick. Chairshot for Rick! Benoit says that's it. But Rick has the chair. I don't think this is smart, but then again that's something no one accused Benoit of being. He goes for the headbutt off the top, but as expected Rick uses the chair as a shield. Dean Malenko runs in, takes the chair, loads up behind Rick.....and hits Benoit! Not at all shocking turn. Rick covers and gets the pin to win the title back. Oh, great. In the aisle Malenko and Saturn hug. They played Benoit all along. The match was about as good as it could have been considering Rick's body was on empty and the overbooking. *1/2 

 

The Total Package (w/Elizabeth) def Bret "Hitman" Hart in 7:46- Another Russo change, Lex Luger's official in ring name is now just The Total Package. Commentary struggles with that all match. His presentation is also back to being similar to what it was in the first part of his WWF run as the Narcissist. No mirrors this time around though. This is Bret's first PPV match in almost a year thanks to a combination of injury, understandable extended time off after Owen's death, and general WCW incompetence. It's also Luger's first PPV match since January, but that was entirely due to injury and he appeared as a manager for his then Wolfpac teammates in some of the intervening time. This is an interesting matchup if you take into account these guys' WWF history from 1994, which of course WCW can't or won't do. Jump start! Two whole matches without one, Russo's eye must have been twitching. WCW's directors need to catch up to that too, almost every one has been during a wide shot from the crane camera. It's Bret doing the jumping this time. He knocks Luger all around ringside. Back in Luger begs off but Bret doesn't care, dropping a headbutt in his gut. He stays on Luger with a bunch of punchy chokey stuff, then tosses Luger back out to the floor. He runs Luger's back into the ring apron. Elizabeth shoves Bret from behind! That got his attention. Luger tries to ambush but Bret was ready for him and we've still had zero Luger offense. Which I'm not really complaining about. Back in Luger begs again but Bret drops an elbow, then a legdrop. Luger finally manages to get a punch to Bret's gut and an eye rake to get some space. Elbow drops from Luger. Bret gets back up and starts slugging away again like nothing was wrong. He works on Luger's back in the corner. Bret is doing a good job of selling the hurt leg that Luger attacked during the build the whole match. Russian leg sweep from Bret for 2. Inverted atomic drop/clothesline combo. Backdrop/elbow off the second rope combo for 2. Going right down the FMOD checklist. Bret goes for the Sharpshooter! Luger eye pokes him to cut it off. Hiptoss reversals and both guys go over the top to the floor. Bret's up first but is limping more than ever. Back in the ring he can barely stand. Luger sees it and finally attacks the bad wheel. Half crab from Luger. Bret taps out! Already? Well then. The match was borderline OKish but that was a very sudden ending. **

 

Goldberg points out Sid's blood stain on the floor and has zero regret. After that Medusa comes out in pigtails and a bikini to shill Nitro cologne. Yes, NITRO COLOGNE. Heenan immediately undercuts it by saying it stinks. "It smells like a men's room at the Newark airport". Oh hell. You could have just said it smells like the Newark airport. Or being at the Newark airport. Same difference. Medusa plays it up, makes it clear that coming out in a bikini to model it isn't her idea, then says "You can just tell those two higher echelons (totally wrong use of that word) from New York, you know, the superpowers (wrong name, Tony tries to correct her)....that I think this is just ABSOLUTELY BULLSHIT!" and dumps it all over Heenan! First use of "bullshit" on Turner TV. That might have given Ted a heart attack. They didn't use that kind of language on Andy Griffith. Tony thinks it's all hilarious. First Russo PPV, first Russo worky shoot (shooty work?) segment.

 

Up next, our World title match. Already? This is weird. Anyway, Hulk Hogan is getting his rematch from Fall Brawl after Sting turned heel on him to take the title. Which was all done under the pre-Russo interim regime so I'm sure he has other ideas. 

 

WCW World Heavyweight Championship: Sting (c) def Hulk Hogan in :03- Hogan's music hits. No one comes out. We run through almost his whole entrance song with just about every single person in the crowd getting a moment on camera but nothing else happens. Finally it stops and Sting's music starts up. Sting actually shows up. Take two on Hogan's music. Still no Hogan. Finally he comes out, in street clothes. Hogan and Sting have a discussion...then Hogan lays down! Sting covers and pins him. Neither guy looks exactly thrilled with what's happening here. Hogan gets up and leaves. We get zero follow up as TV cuts right to the preview video for the next match, probably so we can't hear the crowd presumably shitting all over it. That was a next level bait and switch. CRASH TV everyone! NR

 

WCW United States Heavyweight Championship: Goldberg def Sid Vicious (c) in 7:11- We come back and the crowd is still booing what just happened. Sid's cut from earlier in the show isn't covered up at all and he's still got dried blood down his face and in his hair. Goldberg's music plays forever before we cut to the back for his security escort. Hope he doesn't come out in street clothes and lays down. Damn, what are they doing, walking around the entire building? Finally they get to Gorilla and we cut back to the arena. Set off the sparklers. As Goldberg's walking down the aisle the Outsiders attack him! Once they're done Sid jumps Goldberg from behind in the aisle and the bell rings to start. Goldberg fights back and gives Sid some guardrail shots. Some punches reopen Sid's cut. Sid tries to jab back but Goldberg quickly cuts him off again. Getting in the ring Sid attacks again and this time gets some momentum. Big boot from Sid. Camel clutch time, with blood pouring down Sid's face. Goldberg lifts Sid up and electric chairs him for 2. He cranks on Sid's neck and attacks the cut some more. The ref is checking the cut and Goldberg continues to target it. Sid's a full on crimson mask now. Clothesline from Goldberg for 2. More punches on the cut as Sid is absolutely covered in blood. But he's still fighting! Goldberg grabs Sid's leg, tosses him down, and clotheslines him again. Funny moment where Tony says "This is the darndest....DAMNDEST thing I've ever seen in a PPV telecast!". Russo's in now, get that language up a level. Sid hits some clubbing blows but he's clearly out of gas. The ref checks him again. Sid collapses down to his knees. Finally the ref calls for the bell and declares Goldberg the winner for his second US title win. Rick Steiner runs in to help Sid out and Sid is extremely unhappy at the decision, but nothing else happens. Well, it's Goldberg and Sid and was always going to suck no matter what so at least they tried to do something different with it, and made a declarative statement that despite Turner's past history banning it there will be blood with Russo in charge. 1/4*

 

Sting's music hits as he comes out again. In ring promo #3, which is already longer than his "match". Sting drops the belt in the ring still not looking very happy with any of this, says he came to Vegas for a fight, not a night off, and challenges ANYONE in the locker room to get in the ring with him in the main event. Still no explanation as to why Hogan laid down for him. 

 

Strap Match: Diamond Dallas Page (w/Kimberly) def "Nature Boy" Ric Flair in 12:49- This is a pairing that under better circumstances could absolutely produce greatness. I suspect that's not what we're going to be getting here. Tony lets us know this is not like previous WCW strap matches, it's regular pin or submission instead of touch all four corners. That's one good change. DDP does the usual heel stalling not wanting to put the strap on, then puts it on while he's on the apron and the bell rings to start. Both guys maneuver for leverage in the ring. DDP gets Flair in the corner and hits some shots. Flair reverses and lays in the first chops of the match. Then he gives DDP the first strap whips. They go to the floor and Flair pulls DDP into the post. More strap whips on DDP in the aisle. DDP eye rakes and gives Flair a guardrail shot. They go over the barricade in the back next to the stage and go into a crowd brawl all the way up the arena bowl! Another one for the Russo bingo card. It goes on a while too. Eventually Flair dumps DDP over the rail back to ringside. Then he grabs Kimberly and lays one on her! That allows DDP to jump Flair from behind. Keep your mind on the match, Ric. Don't let the little appendage tell the big appendage what to do. Flair takes a strap whip and DDP chokes him with the strap. Well would you look at that. Flair's bleeding. He's got the green light and I'm surprised it took this long into the match for it to happen. He tries to chop back but can barely stand and DDP whips him with the strap again. All this is still on the floor by the way, they haven't touched the ring since the very start of the match. DDP dumps Flair on the announce table, stands on the table and whips Flair some more. After that they finally get back in the ring. DDP drops an arrogant elbow and covers for 2. He sets Flair up in perfect position, and Flair takes the opportunity to hit a low blow. More strap whips. Flair uses the strap to tie DDP down in the corner and chops him some more. Straight up Greco Roman Nut Punch from Flair. Kimberly might need some extra ice ready for later tonight. Flair clotheslines DDP with the strap. Kneedrop. Flair starts picking the knee apart. Figure four! Flair gets a LONG 2 count off it. DDP fights over and gets a rope break. Flair continues the pounding. DDP headbutts Flair right in the crotch! He tries to choke Flair with the strap again. Diamond Cutter! With the strap wrapped around Flair's throat! Lil' Naitch counts 2 and pulls up even though Flair never kicked out, then belatedly calls for the bell. Well that was a mess. I don't know who messed up on that, but I'm reluctant to say Lil' Naitch because he never messes up. DDP gives Naitch a Cutter. After the bell DDP continues choking Flair with the strap. Here comes David Flair with the Crowbar of Death. Kimberly cuts him off, knees him in the nuts, takes the crowbar and hands it to DDP. Continuing the theme, DDP whacks Flair squire in the nuts with the crowbar. Space Mountain is cancelled tonight. Diamond Cutter on David Flair because why not. And a final elbow to David's crotch on the way out. OKish match that seemed more designed to make the point this is Russo's yard now than do anything for either of the wrestlers. **1/4

 

The backboard and stretcher some out for Flair as David and Lil' Naitch look on, both crying. Naitch is selling it almost as hard as when he wrestled a whole match as Flair earlier in the year. We follow Flair being rolled out on the stretcher to the back and all the way to the ambulance. Before they get to the ambulance the Filthy Animals attack! Konnan trying to fight with one arm in a sling is freaking hilarious. They dump Flair in the back of the ambulance, commandeer it and drive off. Did I mention the Russo bingo card? You should have about three bingos now. If it was a drinking game you'd be dead.

 

WCW United States Heavyweight Champion Goldberg def WCW World Heavyweight Champion Sting in 3:08- We've got less than 10 minutes of show time left as Sting's music hits yet again. No one should be expecting a long match here, we're not having what happened at last year's Halloween Havoc happen again. Who's answering Sting's call? Well, who do we know that's an expert in quick squash matches? OH MY GOD IT'S GOLDBERG. What a shock. Who, remember, just won the US title earlier tonight. He does not come out with that belt. He's still got patches of Sid's blood on him. Commentary stresses that this is a non-title match. To be fair, Sting did only say he wanted a fight, he didn't say anything about putting the title on the line. Sting steps out and has a think after Goldberg's music stops. Oh wait, there's no ref. Sting even says "We need a ref". Lil' Naitch, emotionally recovered from earlier, runs out to take the job. Bell rings and we're on. Lockup! Goldberg hits some knees and kicks in the corner. They stumble all over each other in the middle of the ring, clearly on completely separate pages on what to do. Goldberg punches Sting out of the ring. Sting takes the usual ringside knockaround. He ducks and Goldberg punches the post. Elbow drop from Sting back in. He goes up top and hits a big splash for 2. Spear from Sting! That only pissed Goldberg off. He pops right back up with a superkick. Sting dodges in the corner and Goldberg goes in shoulder first. Stinger Splash! Two! Three! First time in forever I've seen him hit all three. Goldberg ducks, leapfrog, SPEAR! Jackhammer, done. If you're going to do that, why not do it for the title? Don't ask, it's Russo. And then Goldberg is announced as the new World champ and handed the belt! Commentary has as much clue as we do. After Goldberg leaves Sting argues with Naitch, then Scorpion Death Drops him for good measure. The show ends with Tony literally mid-sentence. The match looked like they were both told 10 minutes before this match was happening, go out there and do your best. 3/4*

 

Let me try to clean up this mess as best I can. Goldberg, despite the announcement, did NOT win the World title. The next night on Nitro, Sting was stripped of the title due to losing this match. So Goldberg should have won it anyway. That would be the first of, I'm not kidding, SIX STRAIGHT World title reigns that will end with the champion being stripped rather than beaten, running through the following April and the infamous WCW reboot. Welcome to Crash TV. Meanwhile, also on Nitro the next night Bret Hart would defeat Goldberg for the US title. The Bret with the gimpy leg that tapped out to Lex freaking Luger in like two seconds over a Goldberg that just decimated Sid and Sting. So what was the point of ANYTHING tonight? Say it with me.....Don't ask, it's Russo. And it's just getting started.

 

OVERALL SHOW THOUGHTS- Well, it's certainly different. Zero time wasted by Russo putting his stamp all over the product. Watching live at the time, maybe you'd think once some stuff got ironed out that it might work long term. Maybe? With our hindsight though, we know this is just the start of the roller coaster's big, big drop. It was also amusing to hear commentary sounding constantly and likely legitimately flummoxed and bewildered the whole night.

OVERALL SHOW GRADE: D+