Superbrawl 2000

Legacy Review

Superbrawl 2000

February 20, 2000 from the Cow Palace in San Fransisco, CA

 

Commentary: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay and Mark Madden

 

We're into month #2 of Kevin Sullivan back in the driver's seat of the booking committee with Vince Russo relegated to the back seat. Or one of those motorcycle sidecars. This is the show that has the poster of Booker T doing something that looks like a sex act with the Big Gold Belt. Whether the belt is male or female and what exactly he's doing I'll leave to the reader's imagination.

 

One way you can tell WCW was getting short on money, the PPV stage is a standard setup for all the shows now. Bobby Heenan has been moved off PPVs since Souled Out and replaced with Mark Madden, though Heenan will stay with WCW on weekly TV up until near the end of the year. Commentary kicks it right to Mean Gene in front of Commissioner Kevin Nash's office. The door opens and a bunch of women, the Harris Brothers, and Jeff Jarrett walk out. Jarrett tells Okerlund he's "just rung Nash's bell like Quasimodo" and don't worry, as Acting Commissioner he's taking over. We then get some more gloriously awful match graphics, with small video windows barely moving that look like something off a crappy PS1 game. And they show them for every single match.

 

Tournament Final for the Vacant WCW Cruiserweight Championship: The Artist Formerly Known as Prince Iaukea (w/Paisley) def Lash LeRoux in 5:47- Oklahoma vacated the title after winning it at Souled Out because he was clearly over the weight limit. Which makes you wonder why he got the shot in the first place but there's nothing I'd like more than to erase that whole thing from my memory so I'm not getting deep into it again. And joy, off the back of that here's Prince Iaukea back for one of his semi-annual failed pushes. Sorry, "The Artist". Not just ripping off Prince, he's ripping off what Goldust had just done recently. The problem here is it doesn't matter what fancy gimmick you put on someone, if he's a charisma black hole as Iaukea was it's never going to work. LeRoux gives Paisley a slap on the ass during entrances and Iaukea (I'm not calling him anything else) attacks. He holds LeRoux down so Paisley can kick him. Come on, Lil' Naitch. Right in front of you. Iaukea tries mounted punches but LeRoux keeps pushing him down. LeRoux goes for some flash pins, then tries a punch combo. Iaukea counters with a superkick. Off a corner whip Iaukea just barely pulls off the flip over the corner to the floor. Plancha from LeRoux. Back in Iaukea grabs a kick and hits a dragon screw. Then does absolutely nothing to follow up on the knee. Instead he puts LeRoux in the tree of woe and hits midsection shots. Iaukea uses Lil' Naitch to block a sunset flip then does another of his weird "lick finger and rub it on opponent's face" things. More bargain basement Goldust type stuff. They do some sloppy cradle counters and LeRoux hits some ground and pound punches. They completely lose their spot for a second, then Iaukea grabs LeRoux by the hair and tosses him over the top to the floor. Paisley's just standing on the apron like she's a tag partner. Do we have any rule enforcement anymore? Belly to belly suplex from Iaukea for 2. LeRoux has another comeback flurry that's cut off. Corner clothesline from LeRoux. He sets Iaukea up top and goes for a hurricanrana but Paisley grabs Iaukea to block it. Leaping DDT off the second rope from Iaukea and he gets the pint to win the title. Well, after Madusa and Oklahoma the Cruiserweight title couldn't go any lower. 3/4*

 

BREAKING NEWS: There's a room in the back with a "PRIVATE: KEEP OUT" sign that NO ONE KNOWS WHO'S IN THERE. Film at 11. 

 

WCW Hardcore Championship: Brian Knobbs (w/Fit Finlay) def Bam Bam Bigelow (c) in 4:41- I keep wondering if the Dudley Boyz ever sued Knobbs over his ring gear from this era. Knobbs has a cast on one arm after it was Pillmanized by Lex Luger, something he's been doing to a lot of people lately. I just caught someone has a "Where's Benoit" sign, and the guy next to him has one that says "I want my release". Fantastic. As usual with WCW hardcore matches we start up with trash can shots. They quickly go up the aisle into the internet broadcast area. Knobbs gets whipped over a guardrail onto an ADA compliant ramp and they both go up it with more trash can shots. Through a door into the back of the arena and Bigelow slams Knobbs onto a table. Finlay takes a shot at Bigelow but Knobbs doesn't like that, he wants to do it himself. Knobbs hits Bigelow with a PLASTIC trash can instead of a metal one! Variety! They walk through the crowd back to ringside. Knobbs gets a table out, puts it in the ring and sets it up in the corner. Bigelow counters and Knobbs goes through the table. Bigelow hits Greetings from Asbury Park but doesn't cover. Instead he picks up a chair and goes up top. Finlay distracts, allowing Knobbs to crotch Bigelow. He pushes Bigelow out to the floor, hits him with a trash can lid, and covers for a very anticlimatic pin. Madden says Knobbs hit Bigelow with the cast. Would have been nice if we'd seen that. 1/2*

 

Meanwhile, the lamest looking security guards you've ever seen are guarding the doors of the guys in the World title match. "No one gets in here, not even the president, you got that?" 

 

Handicap Match: 3 Count def Norman Smiley in 4:06- This is the first PPV appearance for 3 Count as a group, and the first ever for both Shannon Moore and Shane Helms, the future Hurricane. They were initially put together as a heel group mocking the boy bands of the time, the height of the days of groups like Nsync and the Backstreet Boys. Another great sign: "Who's next? To leave". Smiley comes out in a Jerry Rice jersey for the hometown crowd. For you kids that don't know, he was and remains the greatest wide receiver there's ever been. He's also got taped up ribs under that jersey courtesy of the Wall. The bell rings and Smiley easily clears the ring out. He backdrops Moore onto the rest of 3 Count! Sunset flip on Karagias that the other two members block. They all try covers on Smiley. "3 Count sucks" chant from the crowd as Helms helps Moore roll Smiley up for 2. Gutwrench suplex from Helms. Smiley easily dodges some crazy ass dive off the top rope Helms does that I couldn't even begin to guess at a name for. He planked himself right into the mat. Giant swing from Smiley! He sets Helms up for the Wiggle but Karagias cuts it off. Helms and Karagias decide now's the time to dance with each other. Smiley joins in and dances! He ducks and double clotheslines the 3 Count guys. Smiley gets the Norman Conquest on Moore! The other two come in to break it up. They take Smiley's Rice jersey off (which hilariously gets huge boos from the crowd) and finally target the hurt ribs. After a couple of splashes off the top Moore puts Smiley in a high angle Liontamer style Boston crab and Smiley taps out. One thing for 3 Count, they were young guys trying to make a mark that were actually putting effort in, unlike most of the rest of WCW at this point. Still didn't help much here though. *1/4

 

BREAKING NEWS: The "Private: Keep Out" door is still there. More updates as they become available.

 

Elsewhere, Jarrett demands the Harris Brothers find out who's behind that door. Sending his best and brightest I see. 

 

Special Main Event: The Wall def The Demon in 3:12- I made sure to point out this is being billed as a "Special Main Event" because the story behind it is hilarious. So, back when Bischoff was still in charge he got the rock band KISS to come on board and do some stuff. As part of it there would be a KISS themed/sponsored wrestler named the Demon. But as part of the agreement, KISS wanted the Demon to be contractually guaranteed a PPV main event. The original plan was for him to wrestle Vampiro in the main event of a throwaway New Year's PPV, but that was scuttled when Bischoff was ousted. Now in order to fulfill the contract WCW is throwing this in as a "Special Main Event" to say the Demon was in a main event. Taking that loophole and driving a truck through it. To make it even funnier the guy wrestling as the Demon, Dale Torborg, would move on soon after to becoming an MLB strength and conditioning coach for the Expos, Marlins and mainly White Sox for nearly 20 years while only occasionally wrestling. I think it goes without saying that background is way more entertaining than the match will be, especially considering who they're pairing Demon with. Wall doesn't come out when he's introduced so Demon goes to look for him. Wall takes advantage of the stupidity and jumps him from behind. In the ring Wall gorilla presses Demon as he stays in control. Off a corner whip Demon leaps to the second rope and hits a diving clothesline. He gives Wall some fairly stiff shots in the back. Back elbow from Demon. Standing dropkick. Suplex. Wall catches Demon charging in the corner and drops him with a really weak hot shot. Backbreaker from Wall. Wall goes up top but Demon catches him and Flair slams him off. Now Demon goes up top. Wall goozles him, gives him an avalanche choke slam, and gets the pin. Eh, that could have been a hell of a lot worse. Demon actually looked OK when he was in control. 1/4*

 

Mean Gene is with Ernest Miller, who's been promising that James Brown will be at the show tonight. Yes, THE James Brown, the King of Soul. On a 2000 WCW PPV. Elsewhere, the Harriseses demand the "Private Keep Out" door open. It doesn't and they walk away. Great plan guys. 

 

Leather Jacket on a Pole Match: Tank Abbott def Big Al in 4:32- WCW continues to try to make former MMAer Abbott their Ken Shamrock as he's taken to brutalizing both wrestlers and officials. They're calling this a "skins match" which means nothing to me, outside of golf. Abbott's jacket is hanging off the pole, and from what I can gleam from commentary this is like a ladder match, to win you have to get the jacket down off the pole. Big Al is literally just a cipher here, everything is about Abbott. Al's been hanging around WCW for a long while but has never done much which should tell you everything. His biggest claim to fame is being part of the scintillating tag teams the Master Blasters (with young Kevin Nash) and the Wrecking Crew. He and Abbott are supposedly friends in real life too. Al wants to wrap up his and Abbott's fists with a belt to tie them together, then drops the belt when Abbott says yes. Finally he gets it on. They trade some punches while shouting "COME ON" and "BRING IT ON" a whole bunch at each other. It's like the Rifftrax gag that all the dialogue the second half of Starship Troopers is "MOVE MOVE MOVE MOVE" come to life (Side thought- I remember from seeing District 9 in the theater the main character's dialogue the last part of the movie was just saying "Fuck!" over and over again. Never understood why that movie was such a critical darling, I wasn't impressed). One of Al's shots also causes the belt to come undone. He slowwwwwwwwwwwly drags Abbott in the corner, teases crotching him on the post, then doesn't do it. The hell? He decides to climb for the jacket, then changes his mind again and stands on Abbott's face. That wakes Abbott up. He hits a couple of big punches. They swing weakly at each other in the corner, then Abbott flips Al out of the corner. Madden: "This is brutal!". Yes it is, but not in the way you're trying to sell it. Abbott waffles Al with punches against the ropes, then picks him up and carries Al as he climbs up for the jacket. Abbott loses his grip and drops Al all the way down to the floor! Holy shit that was awful, and could have seriously hurt him. Abbott then hops down and punches Al in the chest like it was his fault or something while there's a small "You fucked up" chant. He then goes up and gets the jacket to win and mercifully end this. Tenay: "We're all looking at each other speechless like we can't believe what we just saw". Yup. Atrocious on every conceivable level. MINUS FIVE STARS

 

Guess what? It gets worse. Abbott gets what looks like a knife out, goes down to Al, and puts it to his throat saying "I'm can fucking kill you!" while the camera quickly cuts away. What. The. Fuck. Tony says "I think that was scissors and he was going to cut Al's beard off". He was not watching what I was watching. Al doesn't even have enough beard to cut off!

 

Another reminder that Abbott was the guy that Russo wanted to put the WCW WORLD TITLE on at Souled Out, which is what caused Turner brass to finally put him in time out for a bit. 

 

Big T (w/Stevie Ray and J Biggs) def Booker in 5:21- This match is for ownership of the Harlem Heat name and, I kid you not, the letter T. It's begging for Sesame Street sponsorship. That's why Booker T is just Booker here, Stevie Ray and his new friends have taken literally everything from him. Big T is the artist formerly known as Ahmed Johnson in WWF, and J Biggs will later appear in WWE as Clarence Mason. He's in a neckbrace tonight after Booker attacked him on Nitro. It's a good thing Big T is wearing a Harlem Heat style singlet now, because he needs something to try to cover up the pudge he's got around the waist. As part of the overall humiliation Booker is coming out to some awful children's TV show type music. Ray stays in the ring after the bell and the ref has to kick him out. At least someone's trying to enforce some rules tonight. T attacks Booker from behind. Clothesline from T and he slams Booker. Booker slowly works T around and manages to get him up for a back suplex, then hits a regular suplex. T tries to beg off but Booker stays on him. Running forearm from Booker and he tosses T out to the floor. He cuts Ray off and gives the heels a double noggin knocker. Ax handle off the top from Booker coming back in. He's literally walking T through this match as the next whip reversal shows. Ray grabs Booker's foot and T hits him from behind again. Booker goes to the floor and Ray works him over. Back in they literally stop to have a conversation about what to do next. T meekly lifts Booker up for a slam attempt, which Booker counters into a Russian leg sweep. The scissors kick hits. Harlem side kick. Biggs gets in the ring and Booker knocks him back out. Book End on T! Booker goes up top and hits a missile dropkick. During the count the arena lights go out and a bell tolls. Normally this is the sign for Midnight to appear. When the lights finally come back on there's no Midnight, but another very large man standing on the apron. T grabs a surprised Booker, hits a powerbomb, and gets the win. I have no idea who that guy is, but I'm willing to bet it's not going to matter in a month or so anyway. Awful match, atrocious booking. DUD

 

The Maestro and the fairly lovely Symphony are in the back with Mean Gene. Maestro is at the other end of the whole Ernest Miller/James Brown thing and promises that if the Cat can produce Brown tonight he'll listen to whatever music Miller wants him to. Elsewhere, back to the Door of Mystery where the Harrisi are now trying to get an arena worker to unlock the door. He doesn't have the right key so they beat him up instead. A bad worker always blames his tools.

 

It's impossible to overstate how woefully inferior the guys cutting together recap videos for WCW are compared to their WWF counterparts. 

 

Billy Kidman (w/Torrie Wilson) def Vampiro in 7:18- This is one of those face vs face partners fighting each other for mutual respect deals. They've had two matches on weekly TV so this is the rubber match. Lockup! After a couple of stalemates Kidman grabs a headlock. Nice flip over from Kidman into a waistlock that Vampiro back elbows out of. This is already the best match tonight. Not joking. Tiltawhirl slam from Vampiro, followed by a clothesline for 2. Off the ropes Vampiro slides under Kidman and lifts him up on his shoulders. Kidman manages to twist around while punching Vampiro and uses his position to leverage them both over the top rope to the floor! Guardrail shot for Vampiro. Kidman goes up top but Vampiro catches him and gives him a avalanche belly to belly suplex for 2. Suplex from Vampiro for 2. He tries to powerbomb Kidman which of course nearly never works. Corer whip and Vampiro Bret bumps. They have a small hitch, then Vampiro basement dropkicks Kidman in the knee. Torrie decides to get on the apron for no reason. A Vampiro kick sends Kidman flying back into her, knocking her off the apron. That's the reason. It doesn't go anywhere either. Kidman snaps Vampiro over the top rope then goes to check on Torrie. Vamprio doesn't care and attacks Kidman from behind, then gets a chair. Torrie tries to take the chair away! Kidman uses that distraction to dropkick the chair into Vampiro's face! Cover back in for 2. Vampiro tries to catch Kidman on his shoulders but can't hang on and just suplexes him again instead. Kidman counters another suplex attempt into a roll up for 2. Pop up powerbomb from Kidman for 2. Vampiro fameassers Kidman for 2. He goes up top, comes off and just stomps Kidman right in the back of the neck. Cover for 2. Kidman hits a hurricanrana off the top for 2. More counters and Vampiro manages to powerbomb Kidman. Twice. Another cover for 2. They fight on the top rope again. Kidman flips over Vampiro and hits an awful looking avalanche reverse DDT, and that gets the pin. Under normal circumstances you'd never mistake this for good, but it's by far the first time anything's even gotten into the "decent" range tonight. **1/4

 

In the back, Sid Vicious walks out of his locker room. The security goons try to stop him. Sid shouts "DON'T YOU TOUCH ME EVER!" then whispers so soft we can barely hear that he wants to see Mean Gene right now. Security goon: "Yes sir, Mr. Vicious". Way to stand up there. He did get Sid to stay in his dressing room though.

 

Sicilian Stretcher Match for the WCW World Tag Team Championship: The Mamalukes (c) (w/Disco Inferno) def David Flair & Crowbar (w/Daffney) in 11:21- What makes a stretcher Sicilian? Is it woven from spaghetti with garlic bread as the handles? Despite the fancy name this is a normal stretcher match, and since it's a tag match both members of a team have to be carried "all the way out of the arena" on stretchers. Not just halfway, as Tenay helpfully points out. Disco wheels in a trash can on a wheelchair during his team's entrance. OK then. Every ref left in the company is ringside to help officiate this one. The crazy team attack before the bell and it's all around floor brawl time. Disco takes a mic on commentary. And I thought Madden was bad. Crowbar hits a Vader bomb style splash using the guardrail. David sets up Bull on a stretcher and Crowbar hits him with a slingshot splash from the ring. David starts to wheel the stretcher but Vito breaks it up. The Mamalukes run the crazies over with the stretcher, then drops the padless stretcher chassis on David. We then go in the ring for the first time in the match with the Mamalukes stomping on David. They hit some double team moves on Crowbar. Daffney gets in the ring and hurricanranas Bull! Unfortunately her blue wig came off while doing that. Disco tries to come in but Daffney sprays something in his face. Crowbar has a pipe and hits Bull with it, then saves David from the stretcher Vito was rolling him out on. The crazies sets up a stretcher/stairs structure and throw Vito over it. In the ring Crowbar powerslams Vito and hits a lionsault. Crowbar then gets a table out from under the ring. The camera keeps cutting desperately trying to find something interesting to show that's happening but not finding a damn thing. Crowbar and Vito do some back and forth stuff in the ring and Crowbar gets powerbombed through the table. The Mamalukes double slam David. Bull springs up top (legit impressive) and hits a legdrop. They put David face down on a sretcher and use tape to make sure he stays on. The REFEREES wheel David up the aisle? What the hell? They're doing the work the wrestlers are supposed to do! This match is a joke. Meanwhile, Crowbar planchas both Mamalukes, then hits Disco because he's Disco. While they're all fighting on the floor Daffney rings the bell for no reason whatsoever. Crowbar sets up another table on the floor. Gee, wonder who's going through this one too. If you guessed Crowbar again, you're right. Vito big splashes him through the table off the top rope, they put Crowbar on the other stretcher, tape him down as well, and wheel him up the aisle. The refs finish the job for them on that one too. But before finishing the match, they grab Daffney and tape her down on the wheelchair to complete the clean sweep. Total chaos with nothing to give it any kind of cohesion, not to mention the rules being half assed with the refs doing most of the stretcher wheeling. 1/4*

 

In the Acting Commissioner's office, Jarrett isn't bothered by the Harris Brothers' failure to open the Mysterious Door. I mean, he shouldn't have been surprised. Elsewhere, Doordash delivers Mean Gene to Sid's dressing room as ordered. Sid reminds Okerlund that he's the World champion and....pretty much nothing else. That was pointless.

 

Ernest "The Cat" Miller comes out to the ring for our Special Main Event Promo Segment. Non-contractually obligated. Miller says he's got James Brown here and to hell with anyone that doesn't believe him. Madden's interjections in between promo lines are even worse than Lawler's. Cat's music hits again and, shock of shocks, it's a bad James Brown impersonator. Maestro and Symphony then come out. Maestro says something about winning the bet and Miller needs to go in the back and get his bags or something but he's so inarticulate it's hard to tell. Not worthy of a man called the Maestro. And as with so much of WCW in this period, I have no idea who's supposed to be face or heel in this. They're both awful. And then....the REAL James Brown shows up. With full entourage. And replaced music on the Network/Peacock copy. Maestro's over the top reaction is hilariously awful. In fact he completely passes out! Who in the world are all these people Brown has with him? I know they're not all security just by looking at them. Brown and Miller hug and exchange dance moves in the ring, Brown presents Miller with a robe and end scene. That's over 10 minutes of my life I'll never get back. But, still. JAMES BROWN. On a 2000 WCW PPV. Life is really freaking weird sometimes. Also, why did Miller bring out an impersonator when the real Brown was there?

 

In accordance to the Fairness Doctrine, Mean Gene has gotten through the crack security crew to let Scott Hall get a few words in about the main event. Hall starts talking about "the bookers" and I immediately check out. That faux shooty nonsense using insider terms was old hat by this point, completely run into the ground. 

 

San Fransisco Death Match: "Nature Boy" Ric Flair def Terry Funk (w/Dustin Rhodes) in 15:06- Revisiting the second of Flair's two legendary feuds from the magical year of 1989, reminding us of what WCW could be when it was actually good. This is under the after a pin or submission you have a 10 count to get up or the match is over death match rules. Dustin has teamed up with Funk despite the legendary hatred between their families. Lockups with quick corner breaks at the start as both guys feel each other out. Shoulderblock from Funk and he pounds Flair on the ground. Flair quickly backs off in the corner. Another lockup and Flair hits the first chops. Funk responds with some punches. Flair rolls out to think things over. Funk apron suplexes Flair back in and Flair begs off again. Backdrop from Funk and he pummels Flair with jabs. Classic spinning toe hold from Funk. Flair eye pokes and kicks Funk away to get free. He tears Funk's shirt to hit some more direct chops. Flair tosses Funk out and they have a suplex fight on the floor that Funk wins. Madden: "Flair on the floor is like Rommel in the desert, there's nobody better". Uh, I think General Bernard Law Montgomery would have something to say about that. Not to mention a brash American tank commander that rose to become one of the greatest battlefield commanders there's ever been and read Rommel's damn book, you magnificent bastard. Anyway, I could sidebar on World War II (and Civil War) generals all day. Guess I should thank Madden for the reference to set off that tangent even if it was yet another dumb comment from him. They reposition and have ANOTHER suplex fight on the floor that Funk wins again. Flair shouts "AHHHH SHIT!" right into the camera, then Funk pins him. Flair uses the guardrail to get back up at honestly I don't know what number of the count, the fan shouting "FOURTEEN TIME" over and over is drowning it out. More chops from Flair and Funk flops over and dangles on the guardrail. Straight up Greco Roman Nut Punt from Flair. He goes over and gets a chair (the wrong chair, it's a weak looking plastic one) and hits Funk's knee with it. Madden points out the crowd is stone cold dead. What an absolute moron. But he's right. Back in Flair continues the knee work. Figure four! Funk quickly submits, which tactically is smart here because he has the 10 count to recover. He staggers back up at 5. Another Flair chop puts him right back down. Flair goes up top and Funk, as usual, slams him back down. Flair Flip! All the way to the floor! Funk hits a piledriver on the floor! After that he pulls up some of the mat, then covers Flair for 2. Chop/punch exchange on the floor as this finally gets a bit of energy in it. Funk hits a piledriver on the exposed floor! That should be it. Funk covers and gets a pin. During the 10 count Funk goes over and gets a table, even he has no confidence in a piledriver on the floor anymore. I still blame Rick Steiner for turning a DDT on exposed concrete into a transitional move. Flair does get back up before the count is over. Funk sets the table up in the ring. He's bleeding a bit on his chest from the chops. Funk gets a mic and asks Flair to quit, then hits him with the mic. As Tenay points out, a nice reference to their legendary I Quit match at Clash of the Champions IX in December '89. But Professor Tenay GETS THE DATE WRONG, saying it was in June. Turn in your credentials. Flair tries to chop back but Funk hits him with the mic again to get him down. Funk said he got the table out so he can break Flair's neck again. Now that's a reference to when their feud got started in the spring of '89, immediately after Flair had wrapped up his best matches of all time trilogy with Ricky Steamboat. That was a MUCH thicker table though, from before they were designed to break easily. They slowly balance themselves on the table. Funk hits the piledriver through the table! Funk's covering Flair, but he pulls Flair's arm up at 2! That can't be a smart move. He goes and gets another table. After setting it up in the ring he decides to cover Flair and get a 2 count. I think the old man's getting confused. Funk puts Flair on the table, then climbs up to the top rope. I assume he's setting up for the World's Oldest Moonsault, something he only started doing fairly recently during his ECW run. Flair gets off the table, hits Funk, and he falls backward through the table. Cover from Flair for 3. Funk tries to use the ropes but can't get himself up in time and Flair gets the 10 count to win. Man that was sad to watch. Flair was trying as well as he could, but the fact is Funk was already barely mobile at this point and couldn't do much, which meant Flair had to go about half speed the whole match. It's not 1989 anymore. I don't understand how and why this match was laid out the way it was either. ** 

 

Hulk Hogan (w/Jimmy Hart) def The Total Package (w/Elizabeth) in 8:09- Both Hogan AND Hart have broken arms courtesy of Luger's recent reign of terror. During his prematch promo Hogan said he's going to meld both Hulk and Hollywood to get his revenge on Luger. Hogan slides head first into the ring and Luger attacks him. Clothesline from Luger. Hogan dodges an elbow drop with a mini Hulk Up and starts swinging, with an eye rake mixed in. Clothesline from Hogan and he hits his elbow drop. Instead of covering he chokes Luger as Hollywood comes out. He tosses Luger out to the floor and finally does the shirt tear, then chokes Luger with the shirt. Chairshot to Luger's back. All this in front of the ref by the way, and it's not a no DQ match. Back in Luger begs off but Hogan doesn't care. Corner clothesline. On the other side Luger hits a back elbow to put Hogan back down and stomps in the general vicinity of Hogan's hurt arm. You'd think he'd go for that. Back to the floor and Hogan takes some guardrail shots. Back in Hogan blocks a punch with his cast and Luger reacts like his arm was just stabbed. Clothesline with the cast. Buckle shots assisted by the cast. Hogan hits the ropes and Elizabeth hits him in the back. He hops out to stalk her and Luger jumps him from behind. Whip reversal and Luger takes a guardrail shot. Hart runs out and takes the baseball bat away from Elizabeth! More scintillating Luger stomps back in the ring. He calls for the Torture Rack. Then hits a suplex instead. Another Rack call. Hogan stands back up. Full Hulk Up time. Three punches, big boot, but instead of the legdrop Hogan gets his weightlifting belt from Hart. While he's catching that Luger low blows him. When Luger hits the ropes Hart gets on the apron and hits him with his cast! Hogan hits the legdrop and it's over. Terrible match, but honestly the finish wasn't too bad and amused me. 1/2*

 

After the bell Hogan whips Luger with the belt. Ric Flair runs in to save Luger and attacks Hogan. Flair and Luger had been a loose alliance the last few weeks on TV. They pound Hogan and Hart down. HERE COMES STING! Making his big return (yet again). He takes Flair and Luger out with the baseball bat and they leave. Hogan and Sting shake hands. Guess they resolved all those issues from earlier then.

 

To lead into the main event- It was Chris Benoit and his Radicalz teammates that led the backstage revolt against Kevin Sullivan returning to the head booker chair, going so far as to ask for their releases. To try to placate them, Benoit finally won his overdue first World title at Souled Out. It was a deeply cynical move and, to the shock of no one, it didn't work. The very next afternoon before Nitro the group went over the heads of everyone in WCW and went straight to Turner brass to ask for their release again, and this time it was granted. They'd debut on WWF the very next week, the last big cross-promotion jump before WCW folded. WCW vacated the title on Nitro that night (the fourth straight World title reign to end by a vacation), and even went so far as to erase Benoit's win from the history books altogether. It wouldn't be officially recognized until after the WWF buyout. That set off a chain of events where Benoit's opponent at Souled Out Sid Vicious won the title on Nitro, immediately had it stripped by evil Commissioner Nash the following Thunder (fifth straight World title reign ending in a vacation), and then won it again that same night. That brings us to tonight with Sid approaching an entire month as champion, which sadly would be the longest World title reign since mid '99. In addition to that, faction destroyer Jarrett has already completely torn apart the new silver and black NWO 2000 before it barely had a chance to get going.

 

FINAL UPDATE: THE DOOR OF UNKNOWN OCCUPANTS IS NOW OPEN! Tony says "We know it wasn't Sting in there". Do we? 

 

Three Way Dance for the WCW World Heavyweight Championship: Sid Vicious (c) def Scott Hall and WCW United States Heavyweight Champion Jeff Jarrett (w/the Harris Brothers) in 7:00- There's barely 10 minutes left in the show before Buffer even starts his shtick, this is not getting much time. More poor show timing by WCW. They've co-opted ECW's "three way dance" match name for three ways. Hall comes out in the old red and black Wolfpac gear instead of NWO 2000. Jarrett tries to jump Hall and gets jumped before Sid even makes his entrance. Hall gives Jarrett the fallaway slam and 360 clotheslines him to the floor as Sid's music hits. Hall successfully jumps Sid from behind, but Sid quickly and easily takes out both his opponents and both Harris boys to clear the ring out. He desperately tries to get the crowd behind him while everyone recovers. Reset in the ring. The Harrises trip Sid and crotch post him as Jarrett attacks Hall. Swinging neckbreaker from Jarrett on Hall. Jarrett and Hall trade sleeper attempts then slug it out with the ref standing right on top of them. Gee, I wonder what's going to happen. Yup, Hall ducks and Jarrett clotheslines the ref. Jarrett immediately low blows Hall. Sid clotheslines both guys. Double chokeslam. Nick Patrick slides in to count but everyone kicks out. Jarrett has the belt and nails Sid with it. Cover and Sid just kicks out. Jarrett and Patrick get in a shoving match and Hall rolls Jarrett up for 2. Small package from Hall for 2. Jarrett then kicks Patrick and gives him the Stroke. Another thing that had long gotten old, wrestlers deliberately taking refs out. Lil' Naitch runs in to take over as Sid wrecks Jarrett's plan by running him into the chair the Harrises set up. Sid, ever the brain surgeon, decides to go out and attack the Harrises while Hall covers Jarrett for a long 2. Hall sets Jarrett up for the Razor's Edge. Jarrett eye pokes Lil' Naitch and backdrop counters. Then Jarrett takes out Lil' Naitch. For fuck's sake this is ridiculous. Then he does the same for ref #4. Apparently this is all a plan by Jarrett to work through all the refs until he get to the one he paid off, and here he is. But unfortunately for Jarrett, he takes a Razor's Edge. Hall covers and Jarrett's ref pretends to get hurt before counting 3. Sid comes back in and cleans house. Hall ducks and Sid throws himself over the top to the floor while one of the Harrises hands Jarrett tonight's guitar. Guitar shot on Hall. And....here comes Roddy Piper in a ref shirt. I think we can all deduce he was the guy behind the mystery door. But, this is the exact same thing they did at Starrcade with the Bret Hart/Goldberg main event, Piper wandering in to ref. He takes his time getting in so Jarrett's ref has to take forever counting to give Piper time to stop it. Jarrett gets in Piper's face and takes the two finger eye poke. Sid chokeslam on Jarrett. Powerbomb on Hall, Sid covers, and Piper counts the pin to retain. What a brain dead stupid match. 1/4*

 

OVERALL SHOW THOUGHTS- We've almost hit rock bottom, folks. I could easily give this show the full failing grade, but I'm not yet simply because there's still worse coming, and it's coming soon. Madden not only doesn't add anything on commentary, he's often a chore to listen to. I'd take drunk and disinterested Bobby Heenan over him any day.

OVERALL SHOW GRADE: D-