Great American Bash 2000

Legacy Review

Great American Bash 2000

June 11, 2000 from the Baltimore Arena in Baltimore, MD

 

Commentary: Tony Schiavone, Scott Hudson and Mark Madden

 

We've reached the point in WCW that it's time to start checking off the big last time events. This is the final original run Great American Bash. Starting out as an annual summertime house show/large stadium tour in '85, it became the #2 PPV after Starrcade before being supplanted in importance by Bash at the Beach in the Bischoff era. It would end up being the first WCW PPV name revived by WWE, running as the June or July PPV from 2004-2009, then as a yearly NXT event starting in 2020.

 

The big news coming into tonight's show was the return of Goldberg from injury a couple of weeks prior. When he returned he joined up with Kevin Nash as a new top guys babyface pairing. On the go home Thunder Goldberg was arrested. At the start of the show we see every cop in Baltimore is stationed outside the arena to keep him out. If anyone wants to commit a crime elsewhere in Baltimore, tonight's the night.

 

WCW Cruiserweight Championship: Lieutenant Loco (c) (w/The Misfits in Action) def Disqo (w/The Filthy Animals) in 4:54- Don't let the crazy Russofied names fool you, this is Chavo Guerrero Jr vs Disco Inferno. Before the match Chavo pulls a (toy) grenade out of his pocket he threatens to use on Disco because he's LOCO. If that was a real grenade is was even more loco to keep it in his pocket. Disco's entrance looks like the Black Scorpion is coming out. Disco's wrestling in not just a Kobe Bryant Lakers jersey, he's got the full uniform on. In Baltimore. He never was the most on top of it guy. Chavo opens up with a crazy flippy clothesline. Equally crazy crossbody from Chavo. After some back and forth jockeying for position Disco gives Chavo a hot shot. Chavo floats over in the corner and flying headscissors Disco to the floor, right into the MIA. After thinking about it for a second they do the gang attack and slide Disco back in like it's a lumberjack match. Probably might as well be. Pumphandle slam from Chavo for 2. More counters and Chavo hits a back suplex for 2. Low bridge from Chavo and Disco falls out to the floor again, this time into his own teammates. Crossbody off the top to the floor from Chavo! Chavo ends up on the floor and the Animals work him over before MIA make the save. Disco poses forever then hits an elbow off the second rope for 2. Some older guy wearing an army helmet with general's stars on it makes his way down. Looks like dollar store Patton. Or Bradley. He does look more like a Bradley. Yes I'm shamelessly namedropping WWII generals off the top of my head to show off my knowledge of real history, not just wrestling history. Anyway, Disco hits an inverted atomic drop and clothesline for 2. Russian leg sweep from Disco while the general guy messes with the Animals' token woman whose name I don't even remember. Konnan comes over and shoves him and he becomes General Play Dead after a ridiculous delayed flop. The MIA take issue with that for some reason. Now Juventud Guerrera comes in the ring behind the ref's back. He gives Chavo a reverse DDT then goes for a Dollar General People's Elbow that Chavo dodges. Chavo dropkicks him out to the floor. Disco hits the Last Dance on Chavo, but then one of the MIA guys comes in, drops Disco, and Chavo covers for the pin. The predictable big gang brawl follows. Seen it a million times with Russo already. Then we get some "comedy" T&A hijinks with the general and Major Gunns. 1/2*

 

In the back, the Baltimore PD (half of whom are in this room) assure Bischoff they've got all the entrances covered and nothing will ruin Bischoff's "surprise" for Nash.

 

WCW World Tag Team Championship #1 Contender's Match: KroniK def The Mamalukes in 9:20- The Mamalukes are also somehow collectively the Hardcore champ(s). Don't ask, it's Russo. KroniK's graphic says "Kronic". When they get in KroniK listlessly clears the ring and the Mamlukes stall on the floor for a bit. Reset with Bull and Clarke. Pretty much all Clarke to start and he hits a uranage. Flying tackle and Bull goes out to the floor. Clarke follows and Russian leg sweeps him back into the barricade. It's not nearly as cool as it sounds. Back in Bull puts Clarke down with a kick combo. Tag and the Mamalukes double stomp Clarke down. Vito takes over, wrestling with the Hardcore belt on. He's clearly very proud of it. Clarke gets Bull with a tiltawhirl backbreaker and finally tags out to Brian "Crush" Adams. Full nelson slam from Adams for 2. Someone in the crowd has a "Where is La Parka?" sign. Mexico? Running powerslam from Adams on Bull for 2. Bull manages to get Adams down with a clothesline. Adams blocks a suplex and press slams Vito. A distraction from Vito lets Bull DDT Adams. Vito tags in and continues to wrestle with the belt on. That thing must be stapled or superglued on. Adams dodges Vito in the corner and KroniK double backdrop him. Adams gets the Hardcore belt off Vito and tosses it aside. Adams puts Vito in a fireman's carry and then spikes his head right on the mat. Vito superkicks Adams, nearly falling down himself in the process, then looks lost before tagging in Bull. Vito does a sad example of a "hot" tag run, all this match deserves, then takes forever slowly maneuvering Adams into position in the ring. Then he can't do his spring up to the top rope, slipping off. He gets there the second time, then dives at an Adams that had gotten out of the way half an hour ago. Freaking ugly as hell. Double tackle from KroniK. They hit their double chokeslam finisher, Vito is too busy recovering his beloved Hardcore belt to help, and it's over. Two teams that absolutely sucked so it's pretty much what you'd expect, though I've seen worse from both. 3/4*

 

Ambulance Match: Mike Awesome def Diamond Dallas Page (w/Chris Kanyon) in 9:41- Kicking off the gimmick match overload most of this show will be. DDP wheels Kanyon in on a wheelchair and leaves him up on the stage. Kanyon's making his first appearance on TV since his big dive at the end of Slamboree. Instant slugfest at the bell, with both wrestlers taking turns to punch the ref out because they want to FIGHT. Spinning clothesline from DDP. Cactus clothesline! Brawl on both sides of the barricade. Both guys get chairs and have a classic chair sword fight in the ring. DDP punches Awesome's chair into his face. Swinging neckbreaker from DDP. Awesome goes up the second rope and hits a diving back elbow. Back suplex from Awesome, followed by a big splash. He gives DDP a hot shot. Awesome goes under the ring and sets a table up. He dodges a DDP baseball slide. DDP gets powerbombed through the table. Awesome calls for the stretcher guys to come down. They haul DDP up and put him on the stretcher. Should they do that in this match, legally? Isn't that the wrestler's job? DDP falls off the stretcher anyway. Awesome gives him a chairshot and rolls him back in the ring. Chairs to the gut from Awesome. Big splash off the top rope. A second. Awesome calls for one more, and puts DDP in a chair sandwich for some extra impact. DDP dodges and Awesome (theoretically) lands on the chairs. Kimberly makes her way out, armed with a giant lead pipe. Wasn't that Vampiro's? She nails DDP with it. Now Miss Hancock comes out and drags Kimberly out by the hair. Awesome does an elaborate setup on top, but DDP low blows him (amazingly the first one all show). Avalanche Diamond Cutter! DDP rolls Awesome onto the stretcher and the EMT's wheel him off. Music plays and now Bischoff is out here with a chair. DDP attacks him. KANYON IS OUT OF THE WHEELCHAIR! HE'S STANDING! IT'S A RUSEV DAY MIRACLE! Kanyon Cutters DDP! He then rips off his shirt and reveals a New Blood shirt underneath. Took them long enough but everyone saw this turn coming months ago. Kanyon gets DDP on the stretcher, puts him in the ambulance, and it's over. Meh. *1/2

 

Commentary spends WAY longer reasoning through Kanyon's turn than Russo did. 

 

Boot Camp Match: GI Bro def WCW World Tag Team Champion Shawn Stasiak in 12:10- Another silly Russo name change here, Booker T is now GI Bro. Booker does the Shawn Michaels Wrestlemania 12 entrance, rappelling down from the top of the arena. This is over a year after Owen Hart's death and WCW is still doing that. Both guys are in camo to go along with the match theme. Stasiak even has camo facepaint. Brawl in the aisle to start. Tony mentions this is "can't answer a 10 count" rules, like a Texas Death Match. Back and forth brawling on the floor leads to back and forth brawling in the ring. Booker hits a running forearm and slam, then clotheslines/punches Stasiak 360 back to the floor. Stasiak gets tossed over the guardrail literally into the laps of some ringside fans. Guy with a Ray Lewis jersey in there. The coming 2000 season the Baltimore Ravens would have one of the greatest defenses in NFL history, lead by Lewis. Booker gives Stasiak a chairshot. Back in Booker hits a double ax handle off the top rope. The ref starts a 10 count. So it's like a Last Man Standing match, not Texas Death. OK then. Stasiak tries to counter mounted punches with an inverted atomic drop. Booker blocks that, but then Stasiak hot shots him in the corner. Flying back elbow from Stasiak. Booker comes back with a boot up in the corner and side kick. Stasiak pants pulls Booker out to the floor, then suplexes Booker on the entrance ramp. As they go back in the ring I see a "Run in time" sign in the crowd, that makes me chuckle. Stasiak hits a clothesline off the top rope. Booker barely gets back up at 9. He fights off a Stasiak suplex and hits his own, but Stasiak puts him back down with a clothesline. Back out to the floor. Again. Booker takes a chairshot, with the padded end. Back in Stasiak hits a gutwrench powerbomb that gets a long 9 count. Sleeper from Stasiak that sets off some "boring" chants. They do arm drops even though that doesn't count in this match because it's Booker's sign to fight back up. He hits an Olympic slam on Stasiak. Kurt Angle already influencing wrestlers. Stasiak back elbows Booker back down. Booker counters a whip into a side kick. Book End! Booker goes up top and hits a missile dropkick. Stasiak's tag champ partner Chuck Palumbo runs in. Booker cuts him off and gives him the scissors kick. Stasiak uses the opening to low blow Booker. Another long 9 count. The tag champs straight double team on Booker. At least this match is actually no DQ. Booker counters a double team with a double tackle. Spinaroonie! Side kicks and clotheslines for everyone. He hits Stasiak with his own gimmick weapon, some kind of workout bar, and that gets the 10 count to end it. Dull as hell but technically competent. The whole boot camp theme did absolutely nothing. *

 

In the back, Mean Gene is INDIGNANT at Kanyon. Unfortunately, that means Kanyon has to talk to explain himself. We then get footage of DDP fighting out of the ambulance, but the main point from that is we see a Goldberg monster truck in the background skirting the crack local police force.

 

Tables Match: The Franchise def The Wall in 8:40- Like Lex Luger's name change to just The Total Package, Shane Douglas is now being called just The Franchise. Douglas takes a mic after his entrance and takes way too long to say he wants this to not just be a Tables Match, but a BEST OF FIVE tables match. Conveniently there's already four or five tables set up around the ring. Wall looks like he's morphed into a much taller and less pudgy Tommy Dreamer. Sluggy start. Wall hits a big boot. Press slam. Douglas goes for a swinging neckbreaker but Wall blocks it and hits a clothesline. Whip reversal and Douglas hits a high knee. Delayed front drop suplex from Douglas. Reverse neck snap! That always looks ugly. He 360 clotheslines Wall out to the floor, then baseball slides him over a table. Douglas looks like he's literally leading Wall around on the floor to where he needs to go. Wall blocks a suplex on the floor. He chokeslams Douglas through a table! 1-0 Wall. Douglas tries to fight back but Wall lifts him up and puts him through another table to go up 2-0. Back in Douglas kind of begs off, then lifts Wall up into a straight low blow. Douglas then goes to the floor and dares Wall to join him. He taunts Wall all the way up the aisle to a side part of the stage that has a Jeff Hardy Suicide Ladder set up and a platform that's clearly, obviously been set up for someone to fall through. Oh, and a couple of tables that have already been stacked up. In other words, none of this looks organic. Douglas runs Wall into the ladder, then climbs up it. Wall then climbs up to join him. There's a stack of two tables on top of a platform behind Wall. Both guys slug it out/position themselves on top of the ladder. Wall flops down through the tables! We then see Douglas has knucks or something on his hand. Douglas' music plays, so I guess he won. But that was only two tables? Or are they counting the platform they were on as a third? More importantly, why do we care? The match is over, which is a blessing for everyone. Textbook proof that breaking a bunch of tables does not automatically make things interesting. DUD

 

After the total lack of a bell Wall puts a ref through a table just because. Hey, that was 5. Wall wins, 3-2.

 

Back outside, one of the police cars backs up QUICK, squealing tires quick, but only to let a car in. It's Hollywood Hogan, back in full black and white mode. 

 

Handicap Asylum Match for the WCW United States Heavyweight Championship: Scott Steiner (c) (w/Midajah and Shakira) def Rick Steiner and Tank Abbott in 3:30- This was supposed to be Scott vs Abbott straight up and they start fighting as soon as Scott's in the ring, but while that's going on Dave Penzer announces that "in the interest of fairness" Rick Steiner has been added to the match. Rick jogs in while Scott's pounding on Abbott and hits Scott from behind. So what's the whole Asylum thing supposed to be? Oh, here it comes. It's a cage that's being lowered down, but it's a small circular cage, like an MMA "ring" or the Den matches Ken Shamrock had in WWF a couple of times. Steiner's women shout from the apron while Scott gets pounded on in this very small circle that only takes up about three quarters of the inside of the ring. Another question, if Scott loses which of the other guys wins the US title? The one that gets the decision I guess. Not that WCW thought through it that much. Abbott gets a chain out, then immediately puts it away again. Then Scott ducks and Abbott punches Rick. Guess Rick didn't want to get hit with the chain. Now Scott gets the chain and hits Abbott with it. He puts Abbott in the Steiner Recliner and Abbott submits. Well that was beyond pointless, and as brutally awful as anything else Tank Abbott's done in WCW. Ken Shamrock he is not. MINUS FIVE STARS

 

Once again back outside and now there's a limo pulling up. It's only Ric Flair, along with his family. No BIG SURPRISE yet. After they get out we see the Goldberg truck lurking in the background again. 

 

Hollywood Hogan def Billy Kidman in 11:36- I'm honestly surprised this feud is still going. In addition to Kidman now facing black and white Hollywood Hogan instead of red and yellow Hulk, there's been a boatload of stipulations added onto this rematch. Horace Hogan, supposedly on Kidman's side against his uncle, is the special guest referee, and if Hogan wins he gets a World title shot "in July", I'm assuming Bash at the Beach, while if Kidman wins Hogan has to retire. So, dead giveaway of the result. Lockup! Hogan easily wins. Kidman runs back in and gets tossed right back out. Hogan then punches Kidman down, the last one sending Kidman all the way out to the floor. Hogan rolls Kidman back in and Kidman begs off. Hogan's not interested. Early big boot and Kidman rolls out again. Hogan chats with a couple of kids at ringside, like he's asking them if they want him to run Kidman into the barricade, then he does so. Pretty cool little moment for the kids, well done by Hogan. Back in Hogan goes to straight chokes, drawing the ire of ref Horace. Kidman eye rakes to turn things around. Horace then gets on Kidman for choking, trying to show he's impartial. Kidman's not happy about that. Hogan gives Kidman a sneaky style low blow. Learned that one from Flair. The weightlifting belt is off and Hogan makes a big show of it before starting to whip Kidman with it. It's clearly become a Thing. Kidman goes out to the floor again. Hogan gets a chair. Kidman dropkicks it into his face! When Hogan let go of the chair it damn hear hit a couple of ringside fans in the face. Kidman gives Hogan a couple of charishots, rolls him back in and covers for 2. Hogan goes back to the floor, drags Kidman out and goes back on offense. Now there's a guy with a "Where's Silver King" sign. With La Parka in Mexico? Hogan gets the chair and gives Kidman a shot with it. Back in Kidman avoids a slam and DDTs Hogan onto the chair for a long 2. Big splash off the top rope from Kidman for 2. He gets all over Horace for not being biased for him. The crowd chants "Hogan" while Hogan wanders around and Kidman hits him in the back with Hogan gradually hulking up. Point! Hogan punches Kidman down and gives him mounted punches. Corner clothesline. On the floor Kidman runs Hogan into the post. Hogan hiptosses Kidman onto the announce table! That was enough to mostly break it. Torrie Wilson, who'd apparently broken up with Kidman over his Hogan obsession, makes her way out. She gets on the apron, takes out brass knucks, and gives them to Hogan. Kidman knees Hogan in the back, sending Hogan into Torrie. Kidman gets the knucks and nails Hogan with them. Hogan just kicks out. Kidman gets the knucks out again and punches Horace out. Torrie gets in and low blows Kidman. SWERVE! Another one we all saw coming miles away. Hogan hits Kidman with the knucks, and that gets the pin. After the bell Horace and Hogan embrace. SWERVE! Usual overbooked overswerved nonsense, and like the last match Hogan either wasn't capable or wasn't interested in doing any of Kidman's moves. *1/4

 

The win means Hogan gets a title shot at Bash at the Beach. That will not go how anyone expects it to go. More on that when we get there, but it's one of those famous end of WCW moments I've been looking forward to writing up for a long time. 

 

"Nature Boy" Ric Flair def David Flair (w/Vince Russo) in 10:14- They'd faced off in tag matches during David's various turns, but this is the only time the Flair boys had a one on one match. Like the last match, if Ric loses he has to retire. Imagine if Hulk Hogan and Ric Flair really were retired on the same night. Under those circumstances Hogan really should have lost the last match, even if it got reversed on Nitro after, to add some weight to Flair potentially losing this one. I'm amazed this is the first time Russo's gotten himself on camera all night. Flair's family gets escorted on camera to ringside seats before the match, yes including daughter Ashley, AKA Charlotte Flair. Ric's back in regular gear after wrestling in street clothes the last couple of PPVs, but David's in his usual t-shirt and jeans. Hand jockeying after the bell and we get a little Slick Ric. Lockup into a headlock/top wristlock fight that Ric wins. Ric works around into a hammerlock, and when David goes into the corner to take a cheap break Ric slaps him. Another lockup. David backs Ric into the corner and lays in some forearms and chops. Flair Flip! Ric alllllllmost gets all the way over the top but can't quite do it and settles for rolling under the bottom rope instead. On the floor David gives him more forearms and whips him into the barricade. Delayed suplex from David back in. Sleeper from David. Ric works around into a back suplex counter. He tears David's shirt off in the corner and hits the first real chops. Plus a bit of Flair strut. Ric takes David out to the floor and gives him more chops in front of the makeshift replacement announce table. Back in David ducks and 360 clotheslines Ric out to the floor. Russo comes in and gives Ric some shots with the rubber baseball bat. Russo then gets handcuffs out and handcuffs Flair! More chops from David back in and he tries a Flair strut while ref Lil' Naitch seems supremely unconcerned that Ric's hands are handcuffed and he can't wrestle properly. David puts on a figure four! With leverage help from Russo. Eventually Lil' Naitch goes Earl Hebner and kicks David's hands off the ropes, allowing Ric to reverse. David quickly lets go and goes into some ground and pound. Lil' Naitch pulls David off by the hair! Russo uses that opening to get some more shots in. Ric's youngest son Reid jumps the rail and goes after Russo! He low blows Russo! Reid gets the handcuff keys off Russo. David grabs Reid and goes angry big brother on him, but Lil' Naitch gets the keys and uncuffs Ric. Ric hides the fact he's free and chops the hell out of David when he gets in range. Meanwhile, Ashley/Charlotte has Russo pinned down on the floor and is putting the handcuffs on him! Backdrop from Ric on David in the ring. Greco Roman Nut Stomp from Ric. David tries the Flair Flip! With difficulty he manages to get himself onto the apron, and Ric chops him down to the floor. Big delayed suplex from Ric back in and we get some more strut. David begs off and gets an eye poke in. Ric should have seen that coming. David goes up top and Ric slams him off! David should have seen that coming. Also, must have been very satisfying for Ric to be on the other end of that for once. Ric hits a kneedrop and a bunch of short jabs. Then Ric starts in on the knee work. Figure four! David almost instantly submits! After the bell Ric pulls apart Russo's Yankees jersey (BOOOO) and gives him a chop, then the whole family minus David celebrates in the ring. Shoot me, but that was actually kind of fun Flair family drama, with Ric walking David through the match as well as he could. Put that same match in a better era and I think it would have played just fine. **3/4

 

Russo takes a mic, swears a bunch like usual, then says tomorrow night on Nitro he's going to retire Flair himself. I think we all know that's not happening. 

 

Human Torch Match: Vampiro def Sting in 7:22- What is a Human Torch match you ask? To win you have to light your opponent on fire. I'm not joking. WCW has spent weeks building this up saying someone was going to be immolated like Anakin Skywalker after he lost the high ground. Literal snuff film stuff. During Vampiro's entrance a stagehand tries to sneak in to set a torch up for Vampiro to light up but is fully caught on camera. Vampiro lights the torch, then when Sting's entrance starts we see he's up on top of the NotTitantron and he pulls the torch up to him. Sting also has a mic. He asks if Vampiro's afraid of heights "because I'm not" (no shit, we've seen for years) and tells Vampiro if he wants to light Sting on fire he has to come up here. After a minute of Vampiro protesting Sting says never mind and rappels down the to the stage area. Reminder, over a year after Owen Hart's fatal accident. Sting gets in the ring and Vampiro is all over him. Sting comes back with a powerslam, followed by clotheslines and the faceplant. He goes for a Stinger Splash but Vampiro gets a boot up. Corner hot shot from Sting and he goes for the Splash again. This time Vampiro dodges. He has a gas can and pours it all over Sting. They slowly work up the aisle with Vampiro pounding on supposedly gas covered Sting. Sting fires back with, what else, a low blow. Commentary says the arena is "deathly silent" and "no one wants to see this". Unintentional shoot comments for the win. Vampiro starts climbing up the stage, followed by Sting. Vampiro kicks Sting and he falls off the stage! I don't think that fall was any higher than falling off the top rope to the floor. Sting recovers and both guys climb all the way up to the top of the tron/stage. The lights go all kooky for some reason, like lightning. Is Undertaker running in? Both guys vanish behind the tron, then pop back up still fighting. Vampiro goes for the torch but Sting cuts him off. The lights go out completely for a second, then Vampiro gets the torch. He lights the heavily covered and protected stuntman that's replaced Sting on fire while commentary acts like they're seeing a literal murder, then the fake Sting stuntman does the long fall off the tron all the way onto the padded platform I spotted back in the tables match. Everyone runs in with fire extinguishers even though the fire went out before he hit. Cut to shock face somber voice commentary. They got (in story) what they'd been hyping up all this time, I have no idea why they're so depressed about it. Whoever came up with the concept of a match where a wrestler gets lit on fire to lose should have been laughed out of the booking committee meeting, and nothing in the match made it any less atrocious. MINUS FIVE STARS

 

The new backstage interview floozie whose name I can't recall tries to get Bischoff to finally spill what the BIG SURPRISE THAT WILL CHANGE SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT FOREVER (their words, not mine) will be. Bischoff, still furious about the Goldberg themed monster truck stalking the arena, says "There's no surprise! There's your surprise". Bigger cop out than that PPV a couple of years prior where Bischoff tried to get Vince McMahon to show up. Which I think is what they'd been teasing on weekly TV leading up to this again, or something similar.

 

WCW World Heavyweight Championship: Jeff Jarrett (c) def Kevin Nash in 16:22- It's absolutely hilarious they go into this match barely two minutes after supposedly seeing someone murdered by external combustion. After both wrestlers make their entrance Ernest Miller's music hits and he comes out. The hell? Miller says Bischoff and the New Blood have some celebrity guests for this match. Konnan is the special guest bell ringer, Rey Mysterio is the special guest timekeeper (literally the same job but I understand if Konnan needed help with it because it was too mentally taxing for him), Disco Inferno is the special guest BELT keeper, Juventud Guerrera is the special guest ring announcer (a job Buffer already did), and Miller himself is the special guest outside enforcer. Basically, this is a ridiculously over the top deck stacking against Nash. They're trying so hard to duplicate the Austin/Vince stuff and making a complete dog's and pig's breakfast with it. Lockup! Nash easily tosses Jarrett out. Repeat that a couple of times and all the extra guys get on the apron to distract Nash and let Jarrett attack him. Nash fires back with kneelifts and tosses Jarrett across the ring. The usual Nash corner knees and elbows follow. Jarrett gets 360 clotheslined to the floor. Jarrett manages to push Nash into the post, then Nash whips Jarrett into the barricade. He gives Jarrett a snake eyes on the improv announce table. Jarrett gets tossed over the barricade and it's crowd brawl time. Another thing they blatantly copied from WWF. They do a quick half circle around that section of the floor and come back over. When they do Mysterio hits Nash in the knee with a chair. Jarrett then comes in the ring with a chair and continues to pound on Nash's knee with it until the real ref takes it away. Jarrett continues with the knee work. Eventually Jarrett puts on a half crab, but in the corner where Nash can easily get a corner break even though he makes it look like a struggle. Jarrett then hooks on a figure four. Near fall, long fight, then Nash very slowly tries to reverse but Jarrett cuts it off. After some more moment milking Nash finally reaches out for a rope break. Konnan gets on the apron and hits Nash with the bell. Jarrett covers for 2. Nash fights back up and hits a side suplex for 2. Knee's just fine. Nash proves that by running around the ring taking out all the extra riff raff. Jarrett tries for a belt shot, but Nash dodges it and hits Jarrett with the belt. Disco comes in and takes the ref out before he can count 3. Nash goes to the floor and gets ganged up on. Miller gets in to take the match over but both guys are down. Miller does a 10 count while yelling at Jarrett to get back up. Jarrett manages to get an arm over Nash. Miller fast counts but Nash still kicks out. Disco gets on Nash's back and gets slammed for his trouble. After Nash takes a couple of other guys out Jarrett grabs him and hits the Stroke, but he takes forever to cover and Nash still kicks out. Jarrett goes out and gets the guitar. Nash catches him coming off the ropes and chokeslams him! Miller counts 2 then pretends something got in his eye. There's a jackknife for Miller. Big boot on Jarrett and the straps are down. Jackknife on Jarrett. Lil' Naitch runs in to count but almost instantly gets pulled out by someone else. It's Rick Steiner. Because that's all this match needed, more random guys running in. Tank Abbott and Scott Steiner are out here still fighting because reasons. This is like a blurnsball game in a Futurama episode, with all kinds of crazy random shit happening just because. Blurnsball probably has more rules than wrestling in the hands of Russo too. The whole gang is in the ring beating down Nash. And, the final turd cherry on top of this shit sundae, Goldberg's monster truck finally rolls into the arena, as could be predicted by literally anyone. Goldberg's music hits and here he comes. Incidentally, we don't see Goldberg on camera until he's halfway down the aisle. Zero proof he was actually in or driving the truck. Goldberg sets up.....AND SPEARS NASH! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA SWERVE YOUR ASS. Russo should be writing comedy. Hell, he is, he just doesn't know it. Jarrett covers and gets the pin to retain. Bischoff and Russo both comes out while Goldberg gets in Nash's face and lets him know about what just happened. Goldberg then embraces Russo and Bischoff to cement the turn. That was one of the most insane, ludicrous excuses for a main event wrestling match you'll ever see. DUD

 

OVERALL SHOW THOUGHTS- The summer of 2000 fully cemented that WCW had slid down to a depth they were never going to crawl back up from. And the summer's not over yet.

OVERALL SHOW GRADE: F 

King of the Ring '02

Legacy Review

King of the Ring '02

June 23, 2002 from the Nationwide Arena in Columbus, OH

 

Commentary: Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler

 

Welcome to what would be the final King of the Ring PPV until it was revived in the TKO/Triple H era, and the last KOTR tournament at all until 2006. The tournament had been having diminishing returns for years. Though most (not all) winners still went on to be successful, the tournaments themselves had been underwhelming at best, and the overall PPV typically one of the weakest of the year. This year's version is again a 16 man format, with separate Raw and SD brackets for the first two rounds playing off the new brand split. Tonight will feature only the semifinals and finals, with the semifinals being the first cross-brand action of the tournament. And in one more new twist this year, the KOTR winner will get a guaranteed WWE Title shot at Summerslam.

 

Another major event coming into this PPV was the walkout of Steve Austin. Austin had been frustrated with his booking for a while, and had just been put into a program with Eddie Guerrero to fulfill his desire to work with someone good in the ring. Things came to a head when Austin was booked to lose to Brock Lesnar in a KOTR qualifying match on Raw. Austin refused, saying a throwaway match on Raw with no buildup hurt him and wouldn't benefit Lesnar as much as a properly built up match would. When he was told the match was still happening no matter how much he protested, Austin turned around and went back home. Both sides would entrench and let bad feelings fester. Things wouldn't be resolved and Austin wouldn't return until early 2003. Austin later admitted he handled the situation badly, but still felt he was right on the merits. To try to fill the void, the Rock came back a month earlier than he was originally scheduled from his latest Hollywood hiatus, showed up on Raw instead of SD which was his brand, and cut a famous promo where he buried Austin by name and said if there's anyone else in the company that doesn't want to be here "get the F out". He also announced he'll be at KOTR tonight in an unknown capacity, again earlier than he was originally scheduled. Though Rock also said he'll be here in WWE when he's 80 with the people's dentures and the people's walker, which we know now was a complete lie.

 

Semifinals: WWE Intercontinental Champion Rob Van Dam (Raw) def Chris Jericho (SD) in 14:31- RVD won the IC title back from Eddie Guerrero on Raw in late May, wrapping up the excellent feud between the two. Jericho's growing the goatee he'll be sporting for a while in this era. Big "RVD" chant after the bell. Lockup! They do a nice basic hammerlock/arm wringer reversal sequence. Jericho gets a shoulderblock off a speed run, then coming back off the ropes RVD hits a back elbow. Armdrag tradeoff. Simultaneous dropkick attempt! Stalemate and a nice round of applause from the crowd for that sequence. RVD does the thumb point in Jericho's face. Jericho slaps him. RVD kicks Jericho in the face! From a standing position. Insane flexibility. Rolling monkey flip by RVD out of the corner and he hits a legdrop for 2. Jericho fires back with a flying forearm and does some ground and pound. Spinning heel kick from Jericho. RVD dodges the springboard dropkick and Jericho falls down to the floor. RVD somersault plancha! Coming back in RVD hits the one foot diving kick off the top rope, then springs back up top on the other side. Jericho kicks the ref into the ropes, crotching RVD. Double underhook superplex from Jericho and he stacks RVD up for 2. RVD gets a boot up in the corner and leg takedown cradles Jericho for 2. Clothesline from Jericho for 2. He goes over and takes a top turnbuckle pad off. The ref decides to try to put it back on himself, which makes him late catching an RVD small package and Jericho kicks out. Jericho dodges an RVD strike combo and hits a skull crushing finale for 2. He then gets desperate, taking off some of his wrist tape and choking RVD with it. RVD dodges against the ropes and Jericho crotches himself. Jericho turns it back around with a knee to the gut and he butterflys RVD's arms to ground him. RVD fights back up, then dodges in the corner and Jericho posts his shoulder. He builds up momentum with the educated feet. Springboard back kick for 2. Misdirection kick and handspring splash for 2. Both guys do some nice dodges and Jericho hits an enzuguri for 2. RVD counters the misdirection bulldog. Jericho ducks another kick attempt and PLANTS RVD with a German suplex right on his head! Another stack up for 2. RVD gives Jericho a sloppy hot shot. Split legged moonsault! That gets a 2 count. Jericho dodges the backflip shoulderblock and goes for the Walls! RVD reverses into a cradle for a long 2! RVD catches Jericho's legs and tries to slingshot him into the corner. Jericho lands on the second rope and dives, but right into an RVD kick. Jericho runs RVD into the exposed turnbuckle! He cradles RVD and gets extra rope leverage, but RVD still kicks out! Jericho hits the bulldog. RVD dodges the Lionsault and hits a high kick. He springs up top. Jericho dodges the five star! Lionsault! RVD kicks out! Jericho blocks an RVD hurricanrana attempt and gets the Walls on! But they're in the corner and RVD gets an easy rope break. Jericho drags RVD up the ropes in the corner by the hair. RVD punches free and Jericho falls crotch first on the top rope, then drops down into the drop zone. FIVE STAR FROG SPLASH! RVD gets the pin and advances to the final! Very nice match, as you'd expect from these two. The first half they felt like they were feeling each other out for real as well as in the match's story, but they got going good in the second half. ***1/2

 

Lawler gets in the ring for a postmatch interview. RVD says he doesn't care if it's Brock, Test or Godzilla in the final. I don't think Godzilla's in the tournament, but there's no telling what RVD's drugs are making him see. Jericho attacks RVD from behind! He puts the Walls on for a bit before the ref gaggle makes him break it and leave. There's the mandatory extra hill RVD has to climb in the final. 

 

Semifinals: Brock Lesnar (w/Paul Heyman) (Raw) def Test (SD) in 8:12- Lesnar's got his real music back after testing out an alternate, more heelish version the last couple of PPVs. They go nose to nose before the bell, then lock up. A very rough, long lockup. Lesnar teases a clean corner break, then goes nuts with shoulderblocks. Back elbow and clotheslines from Test. Lesnar grabs the top rope to avoid Test's big boot of death and slides out to get some coaching from Heyman. Back in Test goes right back on offense, hitting some Kevin Nash like elbows in the corner, then stomping Lesnar down. More back elbows from Test, but he runs into a Lesnar spinebuster. Elbowdrops from Lesnar. Huge corner whip. Both guys duck clotheslines and Lesnar hits a back suplex for 2. He waffles Test with a hard forearm right across the jaw for another 2. Big backbreaker from Lesnar. Test fights back and hits an inverted atomic drop, but then runs into a Lesnar powerslam for 2. They fumble the hell out of a whip spot. Test tries to recover by hitting a back elbow. Side suplex from Test. Corner clotheslines. Full nelson slam from Test for 2. He hooks up for a pumphandle slam. Lesnar does a very nice escape into German suplex position. Test blocks it and hits a back elbow. Another go and this time the pumphandle powerslam hits for 2. Lesnar ducks the running big boot. Test counters out of a powerbomb. The big boot hits! Lesnar kicks out! The crowd bit pretty good on that one. Test sets up in the corner. Lesnar pushes ref Nick Patrick away and Heyman distracts Test. F5! Lesnar gets the pin! Some definitely sloppy spots and rough stretches, Lesnar was still learning, but they also got a couple of quality near falls in at the end despite the outcome never being in doubt. **1/4

 

In the back, Lance Storm and Christian lament that the all Canadian KOTR final didn't happen. Well they should have done better. Elsewhere in the arena, SD commentary team Michael Cole and Tazz are again acting as the hype team for the SD matches on the card, starting with the next one.

 

WWE Cruiserweight Championship: Jamie Noble (w/Nidia) def The Hurricane (c) in 11:58- Jamie Noble (BOY!) and Nidia made their WWE debut earlier in the month as the ultimate trailer park trash couple, and immediately targeted Hurricane and the CW title that was about to become a staple of Smackdown Six era SD. Nidia's wearing Hurricane's cape on their entrance. Three for three on lockups tonight, I'm all for that. Another rough one that the ref has to force a break on too. Noble counters a Hurricane waistlock into an arm wringer. Hurricane rolls onto his feet and punches Noble down. A quick Hurricane roll up leads into a really nice mat exchange. Noble hits a back elbow and pounds Hurricane in the corner. Big back elbow off the ropes from Hurricane. SHINING WIZARD! Nice to see even if it's only a transition move here in WWE. Hurricane goozle! Noble fights out but runs into a leg lariat for 2. Hurrcane gets Noble down into a kind of reverse triangle choke. Noble escapes into a headlock. Nidia tries to trip Hurricane but completely misses. Hurricane reacts to it anyway and goes out to chase her, running into a Noble clothesline. Noble rolls Hurricane back in for 2. He whips Hurricane around the corners, clearly targeting his back. I should be annoyed that JR and Lawler are spending the whole match joking about Nidia instead of calling the match, but much of it is legitimately funny thanks to JR leading the comedy more than Lawler so it's not as bad as it could be. Snap suplex from Noble for 2. Abdominal stretch! Hurricane escapes, but Noble ducks his clothesline swing and hits another shot to the back. Back suplex for 2. Flash small package from Hurricane for 2. Quick crossbody for 2. Noble gets Hurricane up and hits an electric chair for 2. He wraps Hurricane up with a crucifix like hold. Hurricane fights up again and armdrags free. Reverse DDT from Hurricane for 2. Hurricane hooks on a sleeper. Noble quickly jawbreakers free, then puts on his own sleeper. A very loosely applied one. After arm drops we get a stand up slugfest. They lose their place for a second, then Hurricane hits a neckbreaker. Blockbuster style neckbreaker off the second rope from Hurricane for 2. Noble counters a GTR attempt into a German suplex for 2. Hurricane goes again and hits the GTR for 2. Hurricane gets the cape! Nidia takes it away! Hurricane suplexes Noble over the top to the floor. Noble's leg hit the apron bad on the way down but he's fine. Hurricane crossbody off the top to the floor! Noble gets back in and hits a baseball slide. He drags Hurricane up the corner and teases superplexing him down to the floor. Hurricane fights free and they both precariously balance on the top rope. Hurricane avalanche swinging neckbreaker! Nidia distracts the ref when Hurricane covers. Hurricane runs Noble into Nidia! CHOKESLAM! Noble kicks out! Hurricane goes up top but Noble hits the ropes to knock him back down. Noble hits the powerbomb. Hurricane has a foot on the rope, but Nidia runs by and pushes it off, allowing Noble to get the pin and the title! Not too shabby. **3/4

 

Earlier tonight, we have proof Rock is here because he walked into the building. I assume it was the same building.

 

Another domino from Austin's walkout, Guerrero needed a new opponent. In stepped Raw owner Ric Flair, saying he had "one more run in him". This feud also saw the return of Chris Benoit after being out almost exactly one year due to a major neck injury. He's back on the side of his former Radicalz teammate Guerrero. Also, please please please don't let Terri Runnels do anymore backstage interviews. Damn good promo from Guerrero though, once he stops namedropping all his relatives. 

 

"Nature Boy" Ric Flair def Eddie Guerrero in 17:00- This is actually not a first time matchup, these guys had a couple of matches in WCW. Flair comes out to his '91-'92 WWF run music instead of his usual. Another rough lockup and we shockingly get a clean corner break from two well known dirty players. Both guys jockey for position into another lockup. Speed run and Guerrero hits a shoulderblock, then gives us a "WOOOOO" and struts a bit. More speed and Flair runs into a dropkick. He rolls out for a think while Guerrero struts a little more. Both guys look really fired up for this, even if Flair's more subtle about it. Another lockup into the corner. Guerrero sells the HELL out of a Flair chop! All the way into the air and now he rolls out to the floor while Flair gives us some classic Flair strutting. Back in Guerrero hits some forearms and gives Flair some chops in the corner. Flair turns around and hits response chops, some classic Flair short jabs to the nose in a headlock, then an even more classic Flair sneaky style low blow. Very nicely sold by Guerrero too. Flair pounds Guerrero some more in the corner and puts him down with another chop. Guerrero rolls out again, furious. He's very cautious about getting back in and Flair does try to block him. Eventually Flair says come on in and Guerrero does a fancy flip over the top rope back in. Bit of a reset. Flair goes for another lockup but Guerrero ducks under and drop toe holds him down into a front facelock. Flair uses the position to hook Guerrero up for a delayed suplex! Very nice. Guerrero ducks a chop and dopkicks Flair's knee, then goes to work on it. Spinning toe hold from Guerrero. Flair counters with a small package for 2. Chops from Guerrero and Flair does a half flop out of the corner. Guerrero then gets back on the knee. Really nice move where Guerrero drapes Flair's knee over the top rope, then slingshot splashes it. Figure four! Flair fights toward the ropes, almost gets pinned, tries to reverse it, then tries to lift Guerrero's leg up to break it. Nothing works, but then he manages to get a rope break. Crazy corner pound down from Guerrero. Snap mare into a Mr Perfect style running neck snap. Flair gets back up throwing chops. Guerrero eye pokes, then snap mares Flair again into a chinlock. Should have gone back to the knee. Another chop exchange in the corner. Flair backdrops Guerrero over the top rope to the floor! That was slightly telegraphed. Guerrero snaps Flair's throat over the top rope from the floor. Suplex from Guerrero and he goes up top. Flair dodges the frog splash! Clip on Guerrero's knee! Now we're going to school, kids. As Flair starts on the knee work Benoit makes his way out. Flair figure four! After a near fall Guerrero gets a rope break. Flair goes for another suplex, but Guerrero slips free and gets a roll up with tights for 2. Guerrero blocks a hiptoss into a backslide for 2. Flair grabs a headlock and they have an extremely difficult time getting into position for the bridge up spot, then can't pull it off right and smartly decide to scrap it. Guerrero hits a back elbow in the corner and goes up to the second rope. Flair tries to fight it but Guerrero hits the tornado DDT. Cover but Flair gets a foot on the rope. Guerrero's latino temper boils over and he starts gouging at Flair's eyes. The ref has to pull him off. But that allows Benoit to drag Flair out to the floor and put the crossface on! Ref Chad Patton sees and tosses Benoit out! They go all the way up the aisle arguing. That allows Bubba Ray Dudley to run in from the crowd and Bubba Bomb Guerrero! Not sure what that was about, I don't remember if anything was going on between them or not. Benoit chases Bubba Ray back out through the crowd. Flair crawls in, covers Guerrero, and gets the pin! This started great with a ton of energy and really good groundwork laying, but couldn't hold the momentum and had some rough spots toward the end. Plus all the interference. ***1/4

 

We get another one of the infamous "Get the F out" commercials. Meanwhile, at WWF New York The World, Christopher Nowinski makes an inauspicious PPV debut.

 

WWE Women's Championship: Molly Holly def Trish Stratus (c) in 5:05- Molly is still in her Right to Censor revival phase. She's even wearing the right colors. Trish storms into the ring and wants to go RIGHT NOW. Ref Jack Doan holds her back while she tosses her coat at Molly. Molly pushes Doan aside and shoves Trish down. Slam/elbow drop combo for 2. Trish gets a couple of forearms in but runs into a backdrop. Molly does the old hair slam for 2. Both women hit buckle shots. Molly gets an arm takedown into a Fujiwara armbar. After fighting a bit Trish counters into a cradle for 2. Molly stomps on the arm some more. Trish uses a whip reversal to get on Molly shoulders and do a victory roll for 2! Nicely done. Neckbreaker from Trish for 2. Molly bounces off the corner and Trish Gedo clutches her for 2. Drop toe hold from Molly and Trish goes right into the bottom rope. A basement dropkick sends Trish out to the floor. Molly runs her face first into the apron and hits a chop. A whip sends Trish over the barricade. Molly helps her back over. Trish manages to get a high kick that sends Molly off the apron. Molly gets stuck on the top rope and Trish hurricanranas her off. More forearms and chops from Trish. Diving clothesline and dropkick. Molly gets a jawbreaker. Another high kick from Trish. She goes for the Stratusfaction but Molly counters out. German suplex! Trish JUST kicks out! Another old school women's hair slam. Molly goes for a spinning legdrop off the top rope but Trish dodges. Roll up from Trish. Molly reverses, grabs a handful of pants, and gets the pin to win the title! Pretty damn clean win all things considered as much as commentary tries to say she cheated. Tights holding was pretty much accepted by this point. Solid match. I love JR and Lawler in casual bullshitting mode, but it'd be nice if they started to take these matches a bit more seriously as the women's division is so much better than it was in the Attitude Era. **

 

In contrast to Flair saying he had one more run in him, after losing the WWE Championship Hogan actually tried to retire. Only problem was, Vince wouldn't let him. That led into Hogan's next feud, but they're already laying the groundwork for the upcoming Hogan vs Vince match at WM 19.

 

Kurt Angle def Hollywood Hulk Hogan in 12:04- This is one of Hogan's best feuds from this return to WWF/E run, probably second only to his one with the Rock. After losing the hair vs hair match to Edge at Judgment Day Angle has taken to wearing a wig held on by amateur wrestling headgear to hide his baldness. It's fantastic. Missed opportunity by the crowd, going with the usual "You suck" chant to Angle's music instead of "You're bald". WWE crowds are still loving seeing Hogan again. Lockup that Hogan easily wins. Angle grabs a waistlock but can't get Hogan up for a German suplex. Hogan back elbows free and cranks a headlock. This would have been a great match for Hogan to pull out his Japan pure wrestling playbook, but sadly he doesn't. They do have a top wristlock fight for a bit. Big Hogan shoulderblock off the ropes and Angle rolls out to rethink things. So far both Angle's wig holding headgear and Hogan's bandanna have stayed in place. Angle takes over back in with some strikes and a clothesline. The bandanna is off! Angle wins that one. Hogan momentum tosses Angle over the top to the floor (with Angle clearly doing all the work). He knocks Angle around on the floor a bit before sliding him back in. Buckle shots for Angle and he wobblelegs into a big Hogan punch. Hogan goes for the headgear. Angle gives him a swift low blow to get free. He stomps away on Hogan in the corner. Chops from Angle. He cuts off a Hogan comeback with an eye rake and hits a back suplex. Another one for 2. Hogan blocks a regular suplex and hits his own. Scoop slam. Angle hooks on a sleeper. Hogan fades down and we go to arm drops. Hogan does his "no, no, no" point, fights back up and puts on his own sleeper. Quick back suplex counter from Angle. Angle Slam! Hogan just kicks out! THE STRAPS ARE DOWN! AND HOGAN'S HULKING UP! NO point, three punches, big boot. But instead of going for the legdrop Hogan gets Angle's headgear and wig off! Bald Angle is officially here! Angle grabs the ropes to avoid another big boot, then says "Screw you" and takes a walk. Hogan puts Angle's wig and headgear on! That gets Angle's attention. He comes back in with a chair. Hogan ducks and Angle chairshots himself off the ropes! Big boot! Angle dodges the legdrop! Into the ankle lock! A counter for every finisher, one of the best things about Angle. Hogan just barely touches a rope, but when he does Angle drags him back into the center. Hogan looks like he's going to go out, then gets one last burst of energy to push Angle off. Angle rolls through it and keeps the hold on! Again! That gets Hogan in the ropes for a break. Angle drags him back off and puts the ankle lock on again! HOGAN TAPS! HOGAN TAPS! I can't overstate how mind blowing that was. Hogan NEVER submitted to anyone. Angle made him. I think any of the last remaining, hardcore Angle doubters were finally silenced here. After the bell Angle puts the wig and headgear back on, but he'll soon embrace his new look. Angle carried Hogan as well as he could and there were definitely rough parts, but that end sequence was phenomenal. ***

 

Time for more comedy hijinks with Goldust and Booker T. This time Goldust tries to impersonate Rock, which draws the ire of the real Rock. Funny stuff all around. Rock says he's here to watch the WWE Title match.

 

King of the Ring Final: Brock Lesnar (w/Paul Heyman) def Rob Van Dam in 5:36- RVD doesn't sell any kind of injury from Jericho's postmatch beatdown, but that's RVD for you. Lockup and Lesnar easily powers RVD into the corner. RVD dodges and gets the first real shots in. Hammy kicks from RVD, a very sound strategery. RVD flips over a backdrop attempt and hits a superkick. He goes for a monkey flip in the corner, but that just lets Lesnar powerbomb him. Lesnar stomps away on RVD's back and runs him backwards into the corner a couple of times. Standing powerslam for 2. He hits the big backbreaker a couple of times. Bear hug. RVD does a great job selling it. He tries to fight out bug Lesnar lifts him up and runs him into the corner again. Corner shoulderblocks from Lesnar. RVD dodges a charge and Lesnar posts his shoulder. RVD tries a high kick. Lesnar blocks it and scoops him up again, but RVD gets free and goes to the hammy kicks again. Jumping back kicks that wobble Lesnar. The diving one leg kick off the top rope finally puts Lesnar down. Rolling thunder hits for 2. Spinning legdrop and RVD goes up top again. FIVE STAR FROG SPLASH! Before he can cover Heyman grabs him and snaps him over the top rope! But RVD still falls on top of Lesnar, and Lesnar barely kicks out at 2! RVD baseball slides Heyman, knocking Heman's cap off and exposing more baldness tonight. RVD tries coming off the second rope but Lesnar catches him! F5! Lesnar gets the pin to win the crown, and the title shot at Summerslam! That's not a rocket ship that's been strapped to Lesnar, it's a freaking warp drive, and he's not stopping until he's out somewhere around Cardassia and Bajor. Decentish match, they didn't get enough time for anything more. **

 

In the back, Triple H walks into Shawn Michaels, who has joined his old Kliq buddies in the WWE NWO. And Big Show. All four NWO guys are there. Instead of a confrontation, Shawn and Trips hug. They all wish Trips luck and tell him if he wants some help to just "throw them up". The buildup for the big return of Shawn has begun. I also genuinely don't remember the WWE version of the NWO lasting nearly this long.

 

Undisputed WWE Championship: The Undertaker (c) def Triple H in 23:00- Heyman joins commentary since his client Brock Lesnar now has a title shot, though with another PPV between now and Summerslam there's no guarantee it'll be against either of these guys. Jawing after the bell leads to slugging. HHH hits a back elbow. Taker does his corner toss into a punch combo. HHH comes out of the corner with a straight choke that knocks Taker down, then he 360 clotheslines Taker to the floor. Taker pulls him out and we go into some of the usual ringside knockaround for a bit. Back in the ring Taker takes control again and lays in some more corner shots. HHH ducks a running big boot and Taker gets tied up in the corner. Mounted punches from HHH. Taker counters with a corner hot shot. Clothesline from Taker for 2. Heyman ribbing Lawler about his ex wives makes me laugh. HHH tries to come back but runs into a side suplex. Running elbow drop from Taker for 2. He hits the apron elbow and legdrop while Hebner has a fit about it. HHH gets a back elbow in the corner and starts to slug back. Taker kills it with a big boot for 2. He tosses HHH out again. HHH suplexes Taker on the floor. Back in Taker hits a clothesline and legdrop for 2. Taker puts HHH up top. HHH fights off a superplex, but doesn't come off the top rope himself. HHH doesn't do that. Instead he steps back down and backdrops Taker. Flying clothesline from Taker for 2. Taker gets desperate and takes a top turnbuckle pad off. HHH blocks a shot on it. Corner whip reversal and Taker hits a corner clothesline. Another reversal and Taker goes back first into the exposed buckle. Neckbreaker from HHH. HORRIBLE spinebuster from HHH for 2. Don't know what happened there but it wasn't pretty. Now HHH goes into the exposed buckle and Taker gives him snake eyes on it. HHH completely no sells it and hits the high knee for 2. Another sloppy looking move, this time a DDT from Taker for 2. Goozle! HHH kicks free and goes for the Pedigree. Taker counters and slingshots HHH into the corner. Unfortunately the same corner Hebner was in and he gets squashed. Then Taker hits Hebner for good measure. Double clothesline. Cue the run ins! The Rock's music hits and he makes his way out. Hebner tried to claim earlier that Lesnar took Rock out in the back. Clearly a Heyman whopper. Rock chases Heyman off commentary and takes the headset himself. He runs down Heyman and says he'd shake Brock's hand if Brock ever offered it. Meanwhile, the match is still at a dead stop, not that it was exactly going at breakneck speed before. Taker rolls out and gets a chair. HHH cuts off a chairshot. Facebuster. Another 360 clothesline sends Taker back out. Taker punches HHH down, then big boots Rock into the laps of Spanish commentary. Taker gets another chair. Rock takes it away and slugs away on Taker! Rock swings the chair, but Taker ducks and HHH takes the shot! Taker gives Rock a post shot. HHH is bleeding a little off the chairshot. Back in Taker calls for the finish. Last Ride! Nick Patrick comes in because Hebner's still dead. Taker covers but the delay gave HHH time to kick out. Taker punches Patrick out. Yeah, that's been done to death by now. Rock gets in the ring and unloads on Taker. Rock Bottom! Both guys are down and Rock leaves. HHH slowly comes to and gets an arm on Taker. Hebner even more slowly crawls over and we get the super slow Hebner count, allowing Taker to kick out. The crowd is still chanting for Rock, which lets you know how this match is going. Both guys are still taking forever to get themselves back up to their feet. Kick wham Pedigree! But HHH collapses and again takes forever to cover. Then there's no count because Hebner is still trying to recover. HHH drags Hebner into the ring. Low blow from Taker. He rolls HHH up, and after another Hebner slow count gets the pin. The opposite of the Hogan/Angle match, that end run after Rock left was almost physically painful to watch. Trying way too hard to make it epic when it wasn't. Rest of the match wasn't that great either. Like Insurrextion it's definitely on the low end of Taker/HHH matches. *1/2

 

After the bell Rock comes back in and gives Taker the People's Elbow, then HHH gives Rock a Pedigree as a receipt for the chairshot, then Taker chokeslams HHH. Even steven I guess.

 

OVERALL SHOW THOUGHTS- Disappointing main event aside that was a perfectly average show, which puts it toward the upper end of KOTR PPVs in this final edition of the original run.

OVERALL SHOW GRADE: C 

Slamboree 2000

Legacy Review

Slamboree 2000

May 7, 2000 from the Kemper Arena in Kansas City, MO

 

Commentary: Tony Schiavone, Scott Hudson and Mark Madden

 

We're well into WCW's final full year and the end of the road signposts are coming fast and furious now. Jeff Jarrett won the World title at Spring Stampede following the desperation move of the company reboot, but didn't keep it long as DDP took it from him a week later on Nitro. However, the very next night on Thunder DDP lost it. Who to? David Arquette. David Arquette?! The actor? Who's US champ, Jerry Lewis? Fans were already upset by things like the Fingerpoke of Doom and nonstop vacating of the title the past six months devaluing the title, and now in a desperate attempt to get some eyeballs on the product they put the WORLD title, not some throwaway secondary title but the top one, on a literal actor that had never wrestled a day in his life before, lifelong fan or no. In a lot of ways it was a point of no return. The company was already pretty much dead, it just didn't know it yet. Like these reviews, it continues to lurch on.

 

Elsewhere, the New Blood/Millionaire's Club feud continues. The show opens with highlights from last week's Thunder where Ric Flair won a 22 man (11 from each faction) battle royale to win a World title shot at Great American Bash, a shot that in true WCW fashion Flair would not end up getting. Randy Savage also randomly made his return during that match, which would turn out to be his final appearance in WCW. 

 

WCW Cruiserweight Championship: Chris Candido (c) (w/Tammy) def The Artist (w/Paisley) in 7:59- Tammy is already starting to look more like drug addled later life Tammy Sytch than red hot WWF era Sunny. TAFKA Prince Iaukea is supposedly a face now, which is moronic booking. It takes all of two minutes for me to be sick of listening to Madden so we're off to a great start there. Standing switches at the start into some speed stuff. Candido counters a wheelbarrow into a roll up for 2. After flubbing another wheelbarrow Iaukea hits a German suplex for 2. All of that looked more over rehearsed than any modern indy flippydo match. Mounted punches from Iaukea. After some dodging in the corner Iaukea backdrops Candido over the top to the floor! OK, that wasn't bad, Candido got some great air there. Candido tries a dive off the top to the floor but Iaukea tackles him or something on the way down. It didn't work, bottom line. They go up onto the raised entrance ramp (first one in a while, a WCW classic that's always good to see) and Iaukea backdrops out of a piledriver attempt. Cover back in for 2. Iaukea slides under Candido and hits a hurricanrana. Candido gets up, headlocks Iaukea, and just muscles him over into a cover for 2. That did not look voluntary on Iaukea's part. Candido pulls Iaukea's shirt apart and hits some chops. They have an awkward whip sequence and Candido flat tosses Iaukea out to the floor. Again, looked like Candido was forcing Iaukea to do what he wanted. Iaukea suplexes Candido out of the ring to the floor! In the weakest way possible, but still. Candido gives Iaukea a straight Greco Roman Nut Punch in full view of the ref. Iaukea barely gets Candido up for a powerbomb. He comes off the second rope but Candido catches him, then places him up on the top rope. He just came from there. Iaukea blocks a top rope hurricanrana and goes for a flying roll up off the top, but they completely mess it up. Clothesline from Iaukea while the crowd chants what sounds like "You suck". Eye poke and setup slam from Candido. He goes up top. Iaukea goes up with him and hits an avalanche Samoan drop. Tammy gets on the apron and distracts the ref. Paisley gets in Tammy's face and we have the Russo mandated CAT FIGHT! Tammy gets a chair, misses Paisley and somehow hits Iaukea. Candido covers. Iaukea kicks out but it was clearly *after* the ref counted 3. The bell rings and Candido's music starts up, but the ref waives it off. Good lord this whole match took Tammy's drugs. Candido hits a piledriver, then a headbutt off the top, and covers for the real pin. Why couldn't the chairshot be the end? They managed a few cool moves, but most of the match they weren't anywhere near on the same page and Candido was looking a bit like Paul Roma on Alex Wright at times. 3/4*

 

After the bell Iaukea and Paisley tear Tammy's dress off, revealing that she's wearing practically more under it than the dress itself. This would be Candido and Tammy's last WCW PPV appearance. They were bounced from the company before June was over, allegedly over not being able to stay clean. I believe it. 

 

Handicap Match for the WCW Hardcore Championship: Terry Funk (c) def Norman Smiley and a mystery partner in 10:10- We cut to the back, where we do the bit of everyone giving away to Funk where Smiley is again. Funk finds who he thinks is Smiley in a bathroom stall, but Smiley comes from behind at him with a fire exinguisher. A Royals uniform is Smiley's sports gear for tonight. 1999, they haven't had anything to cheer about in a long time and won't for a long time yet. He gives Funk some of the usual backstage knockaround. He hits a Coke machine so hard the light goes out. Funk amuses himself by slowly rolling down a ramp off a trash can shot. More chairs and trash cans get tossed around with Smiley still in complete control. Funk pushes Smiley and the entire interview set collapses! Smiley's "mystery partner" in full catcher's gear tosses boxes down on Funk from the high ground (which means he'd automatically win a lightsaber duel). Funk slowly goes up and joins him. Smiley gets pushed down through a catering table. Cover from Funk for 2 while the mystery partner just stands around and doesn't do anything. Funk breaks a cardboard tube over Smiley's head. HARDCORE! Smiley whips Funk into some anvil cases for 2. The mystery partner is still lumbering around not even trying to do anything. Trash can shot from Funk on Smiley for 2. Finally the mystery partner does something, lightly tapping Funk with a trash can. Funk takes the can away and hits the mystery man with it. They fight around WCW's idea of Gorilla (the "go position" in their jargon). Side thought, saying Gorilla isn't nearly as cool now after the WWE Unreal documentary series on Netflix. It's like, everyone knows the name now, what's the point? Anyway, Funk takes the mystery man through the curtain to the stage. Commentary is all over him for being completely useless in this match. Chairshots on the mystery man on the entrance ramp. The mask comes off and IT'S RALPHUS. How was he even still on the roster? Well, now we know why he was so useless. Funk dangles Ralphus upside down on the ropes in the ring and exposes his ass to everyone. Fortunately the Turner cameras stay away from it. Children do not need to see that. Smiley comes back and attacks Funk from behind again. As Ralphus drags himself and his pants back up Smiley does a little dance and gives Funk a chairshot for 2. Smiley drops a ladder onto Funk. Another chairshot. Wiggle time! Funk tries to swing a chair backwards but Smiley hits him with it again. Now he wants Ralphus to give Funk the Wiggle. That is an image no one should ever see. Funk swings a chair backwards and takes Ralphus out with it. Chairshot to Smiley. Another one for Ralphus. Funk rolls Smiley up and wins. With a roll up. In a hardcore match. Just a bunch of backstage brawling and weapon shots with no real rhyme or reason, and Ralphus added less than nothing. In fact, he subtracted. *

 

Shawn Stasiak def Curt Hennig in 7:53- Stasiak made his WCW debut in April and immediately got involved in a feud with veteran Hennig, making this our first real New Blood vs Millionaire's Club match tonight. In a small bit of irony, Stasiak's WCW music sounds like a barely masked ripoff of Hennig's WWF Mr. Perfect music. It's so similar WWF likely would have sued if they could even be bothered to at this point. Lockup! Quick armdrag from Stasiak. Another lockup and Stasiak gets a hiptoss. Hennig reverses a corner whip and hits his own hiptoss, then a slam. Stasiak rolls out for a think. Another lockup into a headlock/top wristlock fight. Speed run and Stasiak gets a crossbody for 2. Sunset flip from Stasiak for 2. Hennig hits a kneelift. We get a shot of a new faction, the Misfits in Action, at ringside. The match goes to the floor and Stasiak gives Hennig a shot on the announce table. Clothesline off the top back in from Stasiak for 2, then he tosses Hennig back over the top onto the ramp. Hennig tries to slam Stasiak on the ramp but his back goes out. Stasiak tosses him back in the ring and hooks on a sleeper. Hennig slowly goes down and we go to arm drops. Hennig fights back up but Stasiak pulls him back down by the hair. Stasiak goes up top again. Hennig dodges and Stasiak splats on the mat like he was going for the Rock a year or so later. Hennig hits some chops and a backdrop. Stasiak gives Hennig the old slingshot into the corner. Perfectplex from Stasiak! That gets the pin! Beat a guy with his own finisher, don't see that every day. Statement made. Pretty decent little old school style match there. Russo must have hated it. **

 

During his entrance for the next match Hugh Morrus demands that no one call him Hugh Morrus ever again, because Bischoff gave him that name and it's a brain fart. From now on, he wants to be called by his "real" name.....Hugh G Rection. Because that's SO much better. Then he completely muffs the rest, saying "Captain Rection for short". Um, that's General Rection because that's the only way that stupid pun works. Russo is an eternal 15 year old. Commentary sticks with Captain the whole next match so I guess that was either the initial plan or no one corrected them.

 

WCW United States Heavyweight Championship: Scott Steiner (c) (w/Midajah and Shakira) def Hugh Morrus General Rection in 6:25- Steiner wastes no time going out and jawing with fans on his entrance. Lockup! Scott pounds Rection down in the corner and hits some chops. Rection ducks a Steinerline and hits his own chops, then blocks a hiptoss and hits a clothesline. Steiner rolls out to the floor for some space and an HP restoring hug with his hoochies. His word, not mine. The women get on the apron to try to give Rection....no, not going there. Especially because Madden doesn't stop going there. They're both only so so at best anyway. Steiner goes around the ring and attacks from behind. Rection maneuvers around Steiner to hit an inverted atomic drop. Spinning heel kick from Rection for 2. He hits a side suplex, goes up top and hits an elbow drop. He goes up again for the moonsault, but Steiner grabs the puny little ginger ref I don't think I've ever seen before and the women push him down into the tree of woe. Steiner stomps away on him and cranks back on him from the floor, then goes over and has some words with the Misfits in Action, who are still at ringside. Steinerline/elbow drop combo for 2. Half and half suplex and Steiner does some push ups. Huge belly to belly suplex for 2. Steiner goes after the ref so hard for that count the broadcast glitches. Now Steiner hooks on a bear hug. After arm drops Rection tries to fight out but Steiner gives him another belly to belly suplex since he was in position anyway. How about some more jawing with fans? Rection gets a boot up in the corner and pounds Steiner on the mat. Corner avalanche. Another one. He goes for a third and gets cut off with a Steinerline. Double underhook powerbomb from Steiner. He goes for a tombstone but Rection reverses and hits it! He goes up top for the moonsault again. The women try to block but Rection goes for it anyway. Steiner mostly rolls out of the way but still gets a foot right on the back of his head. Ouch. Steiner shrugs it off, hooks on the Steiner Recliner, and it's over. Again, a fairly decent little outing, which for 2000 WCW is almost mind blowing awesome. **1/4

 

After the bell there's a huge brawl between the Misfits in Action and a group I don't remember at all called R&B (I assume Russo & Bischoff) Security. While that's going on Booker T runs in and attacks Steiner! Now that's a match worth doing. Even a blind squirrel finds a nut and all that.

 

In the back with Mean Gene, Kanyon says he wants nothing to do with Bischoff, Russo or the New Blood and stands with his old partner DDP. I think we've all seen enough of Russo to know what that means. Also, plainly obvious why Vince never let Kanyon talk after the WWF buyout. 

 

Mike Awesome and Chris Kanyon no contest in 12:11- Awesome's been following the Dudleyz framework, getting over by powerbombing people through tables, including Hogan twice. Kanyon's music reminds me of an '80s song I can't quite place. The bell rings and we're instantly slugging it out. Kanyon fakes Awesome out to hit a clothesline. His lack of wrist tape is bothering me. Back elbow from Awesome in the corner with a great sell by Kanyon that puts him on the floor. Awesome over the top tope! Part of the crowd gives us an "ECdub" chant. Some typical but spirited ringside knockaround follows. Kaynon baseball slides Awesome's ribs into the ring post! Nice. Awesome snaps Kanyon over the top rope and Kanyon does a massive flop sell of it. Setup slam from Awesome and he goes up top. Clothesline off the top for 2. Even the ref seems to be putting a bit more into this match trying to keep up. Awesome tosses Kanyon out to the floor again and gives him some chairshots. Kanyon crawls over to the announce table. Awesome's already powerbombed him through that table once and the crowd senses it coming again. But instead Awesome gives Kanyon running chairshot that sends him over the barricade. Awesome slams Kanyon in the first few rows, then flips him back over to ringside and chokes him with a TV cable. Back in Awesome hits a slingshot splash for 2. Big clothesline from Awesome. Kanyon gets a sunset flip for 2. Awesome kills him with another clothesline. Back to the floor and Awesome lays in more chairshots. Then he goes up top with the chair. Kanyon grabs the top rope from the floor to crotch him. Avalanche hangman's neckbreaker from Kanyon! Cover and Awesome just kicks out. Kanyon counters a hiptoss into another neckbreaker for 2. They've pulled off a borderline miracle for 2000 WCW, they've gotten the crowd into it. Crossbody off the top from Kanyon. Awesome rolls through to reverse for 2. Kanyon puts Awesome in a fireman's carry and slams him face first for 2. Kanyon hooks up for a piledriver or powerbomb. Awesome lifts him up to counter and PLANTS him with an Alabama slam. Awesome hits the powerbomb and drops Kanyon on the back of his head! Oof. But instead of covering, Awesome goes back out and pulls the mat up to expose the concrete floor. Kanyon tries a comeback but Awesome cuts it off with a slingshot tackle. Awesome sets Kanyon up to powerbomb him from the ring down onto the exposed floor. He's not Mick Foley, that'll never happen. Kanyon does slip free. German suplex from Awesome. Now Awesome pulls up more floor mats on the entrance ramp side. While Awesome sets up Kanyon on the ramp the Wolfpac music hits. Here comes Kevin Nash to ruin a good match. It's what he does. Nash beats down Awesome in the ring, then a bunch of New Blood guys run in to attack Nash as the ref rings the bell and throws the match out. Another borderline miracle, finding something a 2000 WCW ref will actually call a DQ or equivalent for. Now the Millionaire's Club runs in and it's BONZO GONZO BRAWLING ALL OVER THE PLACE.The Millionaire's Club clears the ring out then Kanyon celebrates with them, which I guess means he's turned. Hey rest of the WCW roster, that's what this thing called "effort" looks like. You might want to try it sometime. Damn shame that was the match that had the big brawl non-finish attached to it as it deserved a proper ending. It's easy to see how "innovator of offense" Kanyon became such a huge internet darling even though he couldn't talk worth a damn, which was a death sentence in WWF. ***1/4

 

The Total Package def Buff Bagwell in 9:30- I suspect effort wise this is going to be the antithesis of the last match. The entire story around this match involves Russo kidnapping Elizabeth and then somehow getting her contract to "own" her so I'm not even sure what the point of Bagwell is. Luger is DOA as a face at this point, the crowd couldn't be less interested. Bagwell puts more effort into freaking out over his pyro than he probably he will for the match. The bell rings to start as Bagwell poses on the ropes and Luger chills in the corner. Circle, pose, circle, pose. Finally we lock up. In the corner Luger shoves thin ginger ref aside and Bagwell uses the opening to attack. Usual Bagwell hit a move, bitch at the ref, hit a move, pose and dance. Luger blocks a suplex attempt and hits a big delayed suplex. Inverted atomic drop from Luger. Another. Bagwell tries to counter Luger mounted punches but Luger blocks it and hits a clothesline. They go to the floor and Luger hits a double ax handle off the second rope. Bagwell gets the edge back in the ring, hits a hot shot and DDTs Luger for 2. Chinlock from Bagwell and he plays the rope leverage game with ginger ref. Luger fights back up and they have a midring collision that I guess was supposed to be a double clothesline but neither guy hit it right. Slam and big splash from Bagwell for 2. Now he shouts out his ex by putting on a modified camel clutch/Steiner Recliner. Luger does the knees up into Bagwell's crotch counter. Cut to the back, where Liz pulls Russo down in his chair and hits him with his own baseball bat! She runs off and makes her way out to the ring while Luger is hitting clotheslines and a running forearm on Bagwell. Powerslam and Luger calls for the Torture Rack. Too much posing from Luger as Bagwell hits him from behind. Elizabeth gets in the ring with the bat. Bagwell cuts her off and takes it away. Bat shot for Luger. Ginger ref does nothing about it. Swinging neckbreaker from Bagwell. He sets up for the Blockbuster. Liz hits him with the bat! Luger gets Bagwell in the Rack and it's over! 1/2*

 

Chuck Palumbo, making his WCW PPV debut after recently graduating from the Power Plant, runs in and attacks Luger. He's got Luger's logo on his tights. The intention was Palumbo was going to be the "New Blood Luger". Bagwell helps Palumbo get Luger up in a Torture Rack. Not quite as effective with Palumbo. Bagwell then carries Liz off like she's the damsel in a '50's sci-fi B movie. 

 

Shane Douglas def "Nature Boy" Ric Flair in 8:04- This was a legitimate real life feud as Douglas had longtime personal issues with Flair, but everyone gets through like professionals here. Flair's continuing to wrestle in street clothes as a way to annoy Russo. Would that really annoy Russo though? Flair gives us a bit of Slick Ric after the bell. Lockup, speed and Douglas hits a shoulderblock. Another lockup with a clean corner break. Flair works into a hammerlock and Douglas back elbows him. Backdrop from Douglas. Off another corner whip Flair gets a back elbow. Chop exchange. Snap mare from Flair. He goes up top so Douglas can slam him down. Douglas hooks on a figure four! Flair slowly crawls over and gets a rope break. Straight up Greco Roman Nut Stomp from Douglas. Flair, writhing in pain, staggers up and hits chops while still selling his hurt nads. That's how you do it, folks. Douglas tries for another figure four but Flair eye pokes to get free. Classic Flair uppercut low blow and Douglas falls out of the ring. More chops from Flair on the floor and he whips Douglas into the guardrail. Flair takes issue with Mark Madden existing (who can blame him), hits more chops and pounds on Douglas on the announce table. Post shot for Douglas. Coming back in Douglas grabs Flair and suplexes him. Douglas goes into his boot and gets a chain out. He wraps it around his fist and nails Flair with it! Double snap suplex and delayed suplex from Douglas. He takes too long to cover and Flair kicks out. Ground and pound from Douglas. Flair slips free, gets on his knees and tells Douglas to f'n bring it. Douglas does. Punch/chop exchange in the corner. Douglas goes down and Flair around struts a bit. Flair gives Douglas a receipt knee in the groin. Greco Roman Nut Punt! We've gone through every variation of low blow in this match. Russo's probably creaming himself backstage. Flair clips Douglas' knee. Kneebreaker into a figure four attempt. Flair stalls forever while waiting for people to get in position. Finally someone in a Sting mask hits Flair from behind with a baseball bat. Commentary says it's Russo. Bagwell is also running out. Douglas cradles Flair off the bat shot and gets the pin. Another decently good match, one of Flair's better ones in a very rough period for him, but way too reliant on groinal punishment, plus the usual interference finish. **1/2

 

After the bell Douglas, Bagwell and the guy in the Sting mask beat Flair down. Flair gets a mic and calls for Russo, saying Russo owes him 5 minutes, also assuming Sting mask guy is Russo. I guess that was a match stipulation. But Flair lost? Like WCW cares. Luger comes out, takes the bat and pushes the guy in the Sting mask into the ring. But then the real Russo runs in and takes Luger out! So who's in the Sting mask? The masked guy smashes something glass over Flair's head. Mask off.....it's David Flair. Second time he's turned on his dad. Shouldn't even be a surprise at this point. Russo says "start the clock" and a 5 minute countdown actually starts on screen. Wolfpac howl again and for the second time tonight Nash saunters his way out. Two run walk ins in one night? Wonder if he was arguing for double pay in the back. Nash goes to jackknife Russo but Daffney comes in and low blows Nash from behind. Russo and David hug and end scene. 

 

Sting def Vampiro in 6:55- Under better circumstances this could be a potentially interesting feud. Even putting general WCW 2000 awfulness aside, the disaster of Starrcade '97 and Sting's initial Crow Sting run getting all frakked up at the end completely broke Sting's give a shit forever, at least in WCW. Vampiro meets Sting on the ramp during Sting's entrance and it's on. Sting's still got his bat. Is it allowed for two guys to have the same gimmick weapon? Sting suplexes Vampiro on the ramp. Inverted atomic drop as they head to the ring. Sting punches Vampiro into the ring then hits a missile dropkick. Vampiro rolls back out to the floor. Sting dive off the top to the floor! Announce table shot for Vampiro. Sting DDTs him on the floor. Back in Vampiro hits a low blow. It'd be nice if they found another turnaround move, especially after so many in the last match. Clothesline off the top from Vampiro. He goes under the ring, gets his giant lead pipe and hits Sting with it. Knee to Sting's crotch. More pipe shots. They go back out onto the ramp. Vampiro faceplants Sting on the ramp. Spin kick from Vampiro. He 360 clotheslines Sting back into the ring. Another pipe shot. Corner clothesline. Vampiro sets Sting up top. Sting cuts it off with, what else, a low blow. Avalanche powerbomb from Sting! Now he gets the pipe and goes to town with Vampiro on it. Stinger Splash! Another one with the pipe! Scorpion Death Drop! (Sting initially put it on backwards and had to reset) Another one! Cover and Sting gets a relatively easy win. After the bell Sting gives Vampiro one more pipe shot for the road. Not too bad when Sting was in control, much less so when Vampiro was. *1/2

 

In the back, Arquette thinks he looks great in his flamey red cape but he's scared about the match. DDP promises him that as long as he follows their plan he'll be fine. Elsewhere, Nash is searching the back for his extra pay for being on the show so much.

 

Hulk Hogan (w/Horace Hogan) def Billy Kidman (w/Torrie Wilson) in 13:37- I can't think of a more unlikely Hogan feud than this one. In a way it kind of presages Hogan's good WWE run in 2002-3 when he was actually willing to help put new guys over, though that last part isn't the case here. Eric Bischoff, who's aligned with the New Blood and is now a Hogan foe after them being together so long in the NWO, is the special guest ref for this match. Kimberly Page is also with him after turning on DDP the last PPV because Russo. For some reason commentary is using Hogan's real name Terry Bollea a bunch, I guess more Russo attempts at fourth wall breaking. Hogan looks like Biker Hogan. I can't for my life remember what the FUNB acronym on the back of his vest is supposed to stand for. Kidman stalls on the floor with Bischoff acting as lead blocker. Hogan finally has enough and chases Kidman on the floor, allowing Kidman to catch him sliding back in. Speed run and they have a massive fumble session over Kidman blocking a Hogan slam into a small package. Not a promising start. Kidman goes for a crucifix into a cradle attempt. Hogan pulls him up by the throat, crotches him over the top rope and clotheslines him down to the floor. Hogan brings a chair into the ring, much to Bischoff's consternation. Hogan drops Kidman chest first onto the top of the chair! Ouch. Kidman gets a boot up in the corner, and after a ton of setup time Hogan manages to sell a Kidman hurricanrana. Dropkick from Kidman and Hogan slides out to rethink things. He drags Kidman out and runs him into the barricade. Kidman hides behind Torrie and pushes her into Hogan to get a shot in. Kidman gets a bit of basic token offense in before Hogan comes back with punches and a clothesline. He takes the weightlifting belt off and goes to town on Kidman with it. YAPPAPI! Bischoff takes the belt away and Kidman attacks from behind. Bischoff then gives the belt to Kidman to whip Hogan with. Kidman gets some flippydo counters going, but Hogan says screw that and hiptosses him over the top down to the floor. After some more ringside knockaround Hogan covers in the ring and Bischoff refuses to count. Back suplex from Hogan. Another cover and again Bischoff refuses to count. Hogan gets in Bischoff's face, then tries elbow drops that Kidman dodges. Hogan shorts pulls Kidman back out to the floor. Kidman gets dumped over the announce table. Coming back in Kidman snaps Hogan's throat over the top rope. Hogan does a mini Hulk Up off Kidman forearms and puts him back down. Big boot. Bischoff blocks the legdrop! Hogan punches out Bischoff! Legdrop on Kidman! He gives Kidman some ground and pound. Bischoff comes in with a chair. Hogan cuts that off and gives Bischoff and Kidman chairshots. Hogan goes under the ring and gets a table! Two tables! Going way outside his wheelhouse. HA, one of the tables has a broken leg! Hogan goes a bit mid-'90s Shawn Michaels on it, then props it up on the ropes as an alternative. Table 2 sets up correctly. Hogan starts to set up Bischoff, but Kidman hits him in the back with the chair. Kidman covers but Bischoff is too hurt to count. Finally he sees and Hogan kicks out. Hogan's busted open off the chairshot. Bischoff holds Hogan for another chairshot. Hogan cuts it off by big booting the chair into Kidman, then low blowing Bischoff. He powerbombs Bischoff through the table! Now Hogan gets a THIRD table. That he can't get in the ring because he's got the leg down and locked. Finally he figures it out. Kidman low blow (sigh) on Hogan. Another chairshot and Kidman sets table #3 up. He sets Hogan up on it and goes up top. Hogan dodges the splash and Kidman goes through the table. Hogan covers, and Horace Hogan comes in and uses unconscious Bischoff's hand to count 3. What a mess, and essentially a complete squash. Hogan didn't seem the least bit interested in letting Kidman get more than the bare minumum in, and either couldn't or wouldn't do any of Kidman's best stuff. Though to be fair, as solid as Kidman was in the ring his ceiling was Cruiserweight champion and not much more. He was really punching above his weight here in more ways than one. 1/4*

 

Cut to outside the arena where Russo is forcibly leading Elizabeth away. He sticks Liz into a bus, but it's Luger's bus! What a maroon. Russo doesn't even look, he hops in a car and drives off. All the while Nash looks on and sips on a beer for...reasons.

 

Some more setup for the main event. The reason Arquette was wrapped up all of this in the first place was he starred in a WCW co-produced movie called Ready to Rumble, which used the WCW name and featured many WCW wrestlers. Arquette's appearances on TV were to help promote the movie. Perfectly natural. But then Russo got a hold of it and took it way, way too far. The big final setpiece for that movie was a match that featured a triple layer steel cage. To help justify the cost of it, WCW decided to use it for real matches, starting right here tonight. The base of the structure is what was used as the Hell in a Cell ripoff "Caged Heat" cage that first appeared in a throwaway midcard match at Souled Out, then there's two smaller cages stacked on the roof. For this match the middle cage has been designated as the "hardcore cage" and is filled with weapons. The top cage, which is barely big enough for two people, is the same height as the lighting rig. I'm getting serious Tower of Doom flashbacks from 1996, but at least this one is over the ring and not stuffed in an arena corner where hardly anyone can see it. Pre-WCW Jim Crockett also had a three story cage, also called the Tower of Doom, at the Great American Bash '88 PPV, so tonight's structure isn't completely unprecedented. Both those matches sucked ass by the way. In fact the '96 Tower of Doom at Uncensored might be the single worst excuse of a match I've ever seen.

 

Triple Cage Match for the WCW World Heavyweight Championship: Jeff Jarrett def David Arquette (c) and Diamond Dallas Page in 15:20- To be clear, I have no idea what the rules for this match are supposed to be or how the top two cages are supposed to be used. Commentary's been no help on that front so far. I'm assuming Arquette's gear is the same as he wore in the movie. He looks like someone that's about to jump a motorcycle over a bunch of cars through a flaming hoop more than a wrestler. They chase around on the floor and I see that there's a bunch of ladders inside the cage too. DDP attacks Jarrett to save Arquette. DDT from Jarrett on DDP in the ring, then he goes after Arquette again. DDP cuts that off with a clothesline. Punch ducks and another DDP clothesline, followed by a uranage. He tells Arquette to go up top. Arquette goes for a big splash but Jarrett dodges. DDP grabs Jarrett again and throws him into the cage. Man, the bottom of that cage is loose as hell. Jarrett baseball slides a ladder into DDP. DDP whips Jarrett on the floor, but right into the standing and waiting Arquette. Tony says the purpose of the ladders are to get up into the next level cage. Well, OK then. But what after that? Arquette takes another inadvertent shot on the floor. DDP crotches Jarrett on the post, then gets a ladder in the ring. He sets the ladder up under what I assume is the door into the middle cage. But then he goes back out and attacks Jarrett again. Jarrett's busted open from all the cage shots, even if the cage has more give than the 2025 Dallas Cowboys defense (I'm a Cowboys fan, I can say that). DDP starts to climb the ladder but Jarrett catches him and back suplexes him off. Ohhhhhh, now Madden says you have to get on TOP of the top cage to grab the belt, it's hung on a hook up there. Like a ladder match. Finally, at the end of the PPV and halfway through the match we finally know what the hell the goal is. And, that's practically the arena roof as high as that cage is. Jarrett climbs but DDP powerbombs him back down. DDP whips Jarrett into the ladder. Then Jarrett reverses it and drops the ladder on DDP. Jarrett brings in a second ladder and drops that on DDP. He climbs again but DDP pushes him down. Double climb and slugfest on the ladder. DDP grabs the roof and kicks the ladder down! That sends Jarrett onto the part of the entrance ramp that's inside the cage. DDP climbs, gets the door open and climbs up into the middle cage. They've actually done a decent job of making the floor at this level as stable as possible. DDP gets a pair of bolt cutters. So, as I'm learning as it's happening because again nothing has been explained beforehand, you have to use the bolt cutters to cut the lock off the middle cage door, and that will give you access to climb up to the top cage. DDP does get the door open, but then Jarrett attacks him and runs him into a hanging trash can. Chairshot for DDP. Jarrett goes out and starts to climb the outside of the middle cage. Oh bloody hell, I'm seeing it clearly for the first time and there's FOUR guitars hung up inside the top cage. Jeff Jarrett heaven. DDP cuts Jarrett off and they go back into the middle cage. Jarrett breaks something over DDP's head. DDP fires back with a chairshot. He runs Jarrett into the wall and it collapses! Going by their reaction I'm not sure if that was planned or not. They're damn lucky they didn't fall any further than they did. DDP's bleeding now too. I assume that's his blood and not Jarrett's. There's a table in the middle cage and DDP sets it up as well as he can on the wobbly floor. He slams Jarrett through the table! It worked. Jarrett's still up first and they do some back and forth on the exterior part of the middle level. They tease a whip that would send someone off the top of the cage to the floor but we know that's not happening. Arquette, who yes is still in this match, finally climbs up to the middle cage. Then bypasses everyone and climbs to the top level. "The guitar room" as commentary puts it. Mike Awesome is on the cage and attacks Jarrett! For fuck's sake can we go one main event without someone running in. Arquette climbs the top cage and is now in range to grab the belt and win. DDP gives Awesome the Diamond Cutter. Arquette is on the very tippy top roof but is making no move for the belt. Commentary assumes he's going to block for DDP. Jarrett and DDP finally make it up to the top cage level. Again Jarrett teases falling, then goes inside the tiny top cage. The "guitar room". And as is mandatory for a Jarrett match, guitars are broken. Arquette has also gotten a guitar up on the very top. The other two climb. Arquette hits DDP with his guitar! RUSSO SWERVE! Jarrett and Arquette hug, and Jarrett gets the belt to win the title back. *sigh*. Freaking Russo swerves, man. Another thing he just can't help himself on no matter how little they make sense. After the bell Kanyon gets on the cage to fire things back up with Awesome. Awesome tosses Kanyon off the middle cage onto the entrance ramp! End show. Trying to copy HIAC '98, but it's just a pointless throw in after the match is over that no one cares about. Overall though, for a WCW gimmick match that wasn't too shabby. Once the rules were finally explained they made sense, and even better they were stuck to. That alone puts it ahead of most WCW gimmick matches like this. They also minimized Arquette as much as possible, and Jarrett and DDP had built up pretty good chemistry. The last part of the match drug pretty bad though, they couldn't keep up the momentum from about the table spot on, and it ends with yet another predictable and nonsensical Russo swerve. **1/4

 

One last word on this, I want to make sure to point out I don't blame Arquette for any of this. In the years since he's made it clear it wasn't his idea to win the title, and in fact he fought tooth and nail to not win it, but in the end had to do what he was being paid for. Starting in 2018 he started working occasional matches in indy promotions as a kind of "redemption tour", which as far as I know have been generally well received. Also, in true Russo fashion the World title is going to change hands a bunch more times before the next PPV, but more on that next time.

 

OVERALL SHOW THOUGHTS- This is probably the closest we'll get to a "good" show from end of life WCW. "Good" graded on a huge curve, of course. They managed to not have anything mind blowingly atrocious, and even got a few halfway decent matches out there, including what's honestly one of the better over the top gimmick matches you'll see in all of WCW history.

OVERALL SHOW GRADE: C-