Slamboree 2000

Legacy Review

Slamboree 2000

May 7, 2000 from the Kemper Arena in Kansas City, MO

 

Commentary: Tony Schiavone, Scott Hudson and Mark Madden

 

We're well into WCW's final full year and the end of the road signposts are coming fast and furious now. Jeff Jarrett won the World title at Spring Stampede following the desperation move of the company reboot, but didn't keep it long as DDP took it from him a week later on Nitro. However, the very next night on Thunder DDP lost it. Who to? David Arquette. David Arquette?! The actor? Who's US champ, Jerry Lewis? Fans were already upset by things like the Fingerpoke of Doom and nonstop vacating of the title the past six months devaluing the title, and now in a desperate attempt to get some eyeballs on the product they put the WORLD title, not some throwaway secondary title but the top one, on a literal actor that had never wrestled a day in his life before, lifelong fan or no. In a lot of ways it was a point of no return. The company was already pretty much dead, it just didn't know it yet. Like these reviews, it continues to lurch on.

 

Elsewhere, the New Blood/Millionaire's Club feud continues. The show opens with highlights from last week's Thunder where Ric Flair won a 22 man (11 from each faction) battle royale to win a World title shot at Great American Bash, a shot that in true WCW fashion Flair would not end up getting. Randy Savage also randomly made his return during that match, which would turn out to be his final appearance in WCW. 

 

WCW Cruiserweight Championship: Chris Candido (c) (w/Tammy) def The Artist (w/Paisley) in 7:59- Tammy is already starting to look more like drug addled later life Tammy Sytch than red hot WWF era Sunny. TAFKA Prince Iaukea is supposedly a face now, which is moronic booking. It takes all of two minutes for me to be sick of listening to Madden so we're off to a great start there. Standing switches at the start into some speed stuff. Candido counters a wheelbarrow into a roll up for 2. After flubbing another wheelbarrow Iaukea hits a German suplex for 2. All of that looked more over rehearsed than any modern indy flippydo match. Mounted punches from Iaukea. After some dodging in the corner Iaukea backdrops Candido over the top to the floor! OK, that wasn't bad, Candido got some great air there. Candido tries a dive off the top to the floor but Iaukea tackles him or something on the way down. It didn't work, bottom line. They go up onto the raised entrance ramp (first one in a while, a WCW classic that's always good to see) and Iaukea backdrops out of a piledriver attempt. Cover back in for 2. Iaukea slides under Candido and hits a hurricanrana. Candido gets up, headlocks Iaukea, and just muscles him over into a cover for 2. That did not look voluntary on Iaukea's part. Candido pulls Iaukea's shirt apart and hits some chops. They have an awkward whip sequence and Candido flat tosses Iaukea out to the floor. Again, looked like Candido was forcing Iaukea to do what he wanted. Iaukea suplexes Candido out of the ring to the floor! In the weakest way possible, but still. Candido gives Iaukea a straight Greco Roman Nut Punch in full view of the ref. Iaukea barely gets Candido up for a powerbomb. He comes off the second rope but Candido catches him, then places him up on the top rope. He just came from there. Iaukea blocks a top rope hurricanrana and goes for a flying roll up off the top, but they completely mess it up. Clothesline from Iaukea while the crowd chants what sounds like "You suck". Eye poke and setup slam from Candido. He goes up top. Iaukea goes up with him and hits an avalanche Samoan drop. Tammy gets on the apron and distracts the ref. Paisley gets in Tammy's face and we have the Russo mandated CAT FIGHT! Tammy gets a chair, misses Paisley and somehow hits Iaukea. Candido covers. Iaukea kicks out but it was clearly *after* the ref counted 3. The bell rings and Candido's music starts up, but the ref waives it off. Good lord this whole match took Tammy's drugs. Candido hits a piledriver, then a headbutt off the top, and covers for the real pin. Why couldn't the chairshot be the end? They managed a few cool moves, but most of the match they weren't anywhere near on the same page and Candido was looking a bit like Paul Roma on Alex Wright at times. 3/4*

 

After the bell Iaukea and Paisley tear Tammy's dress off, revealing that she's wearing practically more under it than the dress itself. This would be Candido and Tammy's last WCW PPV appearance. They were bounced from the company before June was over, allegedly over not being able to stay clean. I believe it. 

 

Handicap Match for the WCW Hardcore Championship: Terry Funk (c) def Norman Smiley and a mystery partner in 10:10- We cut to the back, where we do the bit of everyone giving away to Funk where Smiley is again. Funk finds who he thinks is Smiley in a bathroom stall, but Smiley comes from behind at him with a fire exinguisher. A Royals uniform is Smiley's sports gear for tonight. 1999, they haven't had anything to cheer about in a long time and won't for a long time yet. He gives Funk some of the usual backstage knockaround. He hits a Coke machine so hard the light goes out. Funk amuses himself by slowly rolling down a ramp off a trash can shot. More chairs and trash cans get tossed around with Smiley still in complete control. Funk pushes Smiley and the entire interview set collapses! Smiley's "mystery partner" in full catcher's gear tosses boxes down on Funk from the high ground (which means he'd automatically win a lightsaber duel). Funk slowly goes up and joins him. Smiley gets pushed down through a catering table. Cover from Funk for 2 while the mystery partner just stands around and doesn't do anything. Funk breaks a cardboard tube over Smiley's head. HARDCORE! Smiley whips Funk into some anvil cases for 2. The mystery partner is still lumbering around not even trying to do anything. Trash can shot from Funk on Smiley for 2. Finally the mystery partner does something, lightly tapping Funk with a trash can. Funk takes the can away and hits the mystery man with it. They fight around WCW's idea of Gorilla (the "go position" in their jargon). Side thought, saying Gorilla isn't nearly as cool now after the WWE Unreal documentary series on Netflix. It's like, everyone knows the name now, what's the point? Anyway, Funk takes the mystery man through the curtain to the stage. Commentary is all over him for being completely useless in this match. Chairshots on the mystery man on the entrance ramp. The mask comes off and IT'S RALPHUS. How was he even still on the roster? Well, now we know why he was so useless. Funk dangles Ralphus upside down on the ropes in the ring and exposes his ass to everyone. Fortunately the Turner cameras stay away from it. Children do not need to see that. Smiley comes back and attacks Funk from behind again. As Ralphus drags himself and his pants back up Smiley does a little dance and gives Funk a chairshot for 2. Smiley drops a ladder onto Funk. Another chairshot. Wiggle time! Funk tries to swing a chair backwards but Smiley hits him with it again. Now he wants Ralphus to give Funk the Wiggle. That is an image no one should ever see. Funk swings a chair backwards and takes Ralphus out with it. Chairshot to Smiley. Another one for Ralphus. Funk rolls Smiley up and wins. With a roll up. In a hardcore match. Just a bunch of backstage brawling and weapon shots with no real rhyme or reason, and Ralphus added less than nothing. In fact, he subtracted. *

 

Shawn Stasiak def Curt Hennig in 7:53- Stasiak made his WCW debut in April and immediately got involved in a feud with veteran Hennig, making this our first real New Blood vs Millionaire's Club match tonight. In a small bit of irony, Stasiak's WCW music sounds like a barely masked ripoff of Hennig's WWF Mr. Perfect music. It's so similar WWF likely would have sued if they could even be bothered to at this point. Lockup! Quick armdrag from Stasiak. Another lockup and Stasiak gets a hiptoss. Hennig reverses a corner whip and hits his own hiptoss, then a slam. Stasiak rolls out for a think. Another lockup into a headlock/top wristlock fight. Speed run and Stasiak gets a crossbody for 2. Sunset flip from Stasiak for 2. Hennig hits a kneelift. We get a shot of a new faction, the Misfits in Action, at ringside. The match goes to the floor and Stasiak gives Hennig a shot on the announce table. Clothesline off the top back in from Stasiak for 2, then he tosses Hennig back over the top onto the ramp. Hennig tries to slam Stasiak on the ramp but his back goes out. Stasiak tosses him back in the ring and hooks on a sleeper. Hennig slowly goes down and we go to arm drops. Hennig fights back up but Stasiak pulls him back down by the hair. Stasiak goes up top again. Hennig dodges and Stasiak splats on the mat like he was going for the Rock a year or so later. Hennig hits some chops and a backdrop. Stasiak gives Hennig the old slingshot into the corner. Perfectplex from Stasiak! That gets the pin! Beat a guy with his own finisher, don't see that every day. Statement made. Pretty decent little old school style match there. Russo must have hated it. **

 

During his entrance for the next match Hugh Morrus demands that no one call him Hugh Morrus ever again, because Bischoff gave him that name and it's a brain fart. From now on, he wants to be called by his "real" name.....Hugh G Rection. Because that's SO much better. Then he completely muffs the rest, saying "Captain Rection for short". Um, that's General Rection because that's the only way that stupid pun works. Russo is an eternal 15 year old. Commentary sticks with Captain the whole next match so I guess that was either the initial plan or no one corrected them.

 

WCW United States Heavyweight Championship: Scott Steiner (c) (w/Midajah and Shakira) def Hugh Morrus General Rection in 6:25- Steiner wastes no time going out and jawing with fans on his entrance. Lockup! Scott pounds Rection down in the corner and hits some chops. Rection ducks a Steinerline and hits his own chops, then blocks a hiptoss and hits a clothesline. Steiner rolls out to the floor for some space and an HP restoring hug with his hoochies. His word, not mine. The women get on the apron to try to give Rection....no, not going there. Especially because Madden doesn't stop going there. They're both only so so at best anyway. Steiner goes around the ring and attacks from behind. Rection maneuvers around Steiner to hit an inverted atomic drop. Spinning heel kick from Rection for 2. He hits a side suplex, goes up top and hits an elbow drop. He goes up again for the moonsault, but Steiner grabs the puny little ginger ref I don't think I've ever seen before and the women push him down into the tree of woe. Steiner stomps away on him and cranks back on him from the floor, then goes over and has some words with the Misfits in Action, who are still at ringside. Steinerline/elbow drop combo for 2. Half and half suplex and Steiner does some push ups. Huge belly to belly suplex for 2. Steiner goes after the ref so hard for that count the broadcast glitches. Now Steiner hooks on a bear hug. After arm drops Rection tries to fight out but Steiner gives him another belly to belly suplex since he was in position anyway. How about some more jawing with fans? Rection gets a boot up in the corner and pounds Steiner on the mat. Corner avalanche. Another one. He goes for a third and gets cut off with a Steinerline. Double underhook powerbomb from Steiner. He goes for a tombstone but Rection reverses and hits it! He goes up top for the moonsault again. The women try to block but Rection goes for it anyway. Steiner mostly rolls out of the way but still gets a foot right on the back of his head. Ouch. Steiner shrugs it off, hooks on the Steiner Recliner, and it's over. Again, a fairly decent little outing, which for 2000 WCW is almost mind blowing awesome. **1/4

 

After the bell there's a huge brawl between the Misfits in Action and a group I don't remember at all called R&B (I assume Russo & Bischoff) Security. While that's going on Booker T runs in and attacks Steiner! Now that's a match worth doing. Even a blind squirrel finds a nut and all that.

 

In the back with Mean Gene, Kanyon says he wants nothing to do with Bischoff, Russo or the New Blood and stands with his old partner DDP. I think we've all seen enough of Russo to know what that means. Also, plainly obvious why Vince never let Kanyon talk after the WWF buyout. 

 

Mike Awesome and Chris Kanyon no contest in 12:11- Awesome's been following the Dudleyz framework, getting over by powerbombing people through tables, including Hogan twice. Kanyon's music reminds me of an '80s song I can't quite place. The bell rings and we're instantly slugging it out. Kanyon fakes Awesome out to hit a clothesline. His lack of wrist tape is bothering me. Back elbow from Awesome in the corner with a great sell by Kanyon that puts him on the floor. Awesome over the top tope! Part of the crowd gives us an "ECdub" chant. Some typical but spirited ringside knockaround follows. Kaynon baseball slides Awesome's ribs into the ring post! Nice. Awesome snaps Kanyon over the top rope and Kanyon does a massive flop sell of it. Setup slam from Awesome and he goes up top. Clothesline off the top for 2. Even the ref seems to be putting a bit more into this match trying to keep up. Awesome tosses Kanyon out to the floor again and gives him some chairshots. Kanyon crawls over to the announce table. Awesome's already powerbombed him through that table once and the crowd senses it coming again. But instead Awesome gives Kanyon running chairshot that sends him over the barricade. Awesome slams Kanyon in the first few rows, then flips him back over to ringside and chokes him with a TV cable. Back in Awesome hits a slingshot splash for 2. Big clothesline from Awesome. Kanyon gets a sunset flip for 2. Awesome kills him with another clothesline. Back to the floor and Awesome lays in more chairshots. Then he goes up top with the chair. Kanyon grabs the top rope from the floor to crotch him. Avalanche hangman's neckbreaker from Kanyon! Cover and Awesome just kicks out. Kanyon counters a hiptoss into another neckbreaker for 2. They've pulled off a borderline miracle for 2000 WCW, they've gotten the crowd into it. Crossbody off the top from Kanyon. Awesome rolls through to reverse for 2. Kanyon puts Awesome in a fireman's carry and slams him face first for 2. Kanyon hooks up for a piledriver or powerbomb. Awesome lifts him up to counter and PLANTS him with an Alabama slam. Awesome hits the powerbomb and drops Kanyon on the back of his head! Oof. But instead of covering, Awesome goes back out and pulls the mat up to expose the concrete floor. Kanyon tries a comeback but Awesome cuts it off with a slingshot tackle. Awesome sets Kanyon up to powerbomb him from the ring down onto the exposed floor. He's not Mick Foley, that'll never happen. Kanyon does slip free. German suplex from Awesome. Now Awesome pulls up more floor mats on the entrance ramp side. While Awesome sets up Kanyon on the ramp the Wolfpac music hits. Here comes Kevin Nash to ruin a good match. It's what he does. Nash beats down Awesome in the ring, then a bunch of New Blood guys run in to attack Nash as the ref rings the bell and throws the match out. Another borderline miracle, finding something a 2000 WCW ref will actually call a DQ or equivalent for. Now the Millionaire's Club runs in and it's BONZO GONZO BRAWLING ALL OVER THE PLACE.The Millionaire's Club clears the ring out then Kanyon celebrates with them, which I guess means he's turned. Hey rest of the WCW roster, that's what this thing called "effort" looks like. You might want to try it sometime. Damn shame that was the match that had the big brawl non-finish attached to it as it deserved a proper ending. It's easy to see how "innovator of offense" Kanyon became such a huge internet darling even though he couldn't talk worth a damn, which was a death sentence in WWF. ***1/4

 

The Total Package def Buff Bagwell in 9:30- I suspect effort wise this is going to be the antithesis of the last match. The entire story around this match involves Russo kidnapping Elizabeth and then somehow getting her contract to "own" her so I'm not even sure what the point of Bagwell is. Luger is DOA as a face at this point, the crowd couldn't be less interested. Bagwell puts more effort into freaking out over his pyro than he probably he will for the match. The bell rings to start as Bagwell poses on the ropes and Luger chills in the corner. Circle, pose, circle, pose. Finally we lock up. In the corner Luger shoves thin ginger ref aside and Bagwell uses the opening to attack. Usual Bagwell hit a move, bitch at the ref, hit a move, pose and dance. Luger blocks a suplex attempt and hits a big delayed suplex. Inverted atomic drop from Luger. Another. Bagwell tries to counter Luger mounted punches but Luger blocks it and hits a clothesline. They go to the floor and Luger hits a double ax handle off the second rope. Bagwell gets the edge back in the ring, hits a hot shot and DDTs Luger for 2. Chinlock from Bagwell and he plays the rope leverage game with ginger ref. Luger fights back up and they have a midring collision that I guess was supposed to be a double clothesline but neither guy hit it right. Slam and big splash from Bagwell for 2. Now he shouts out his ex by putting on a modified camel clutch/Steiner Recliner. Luger does the knees up into Bagwell's crotch counter. Cut to the back, where Liz pulls Russo down in his chair and hits him with his own baseball bat! She runs off and makes her way out to the ring while Luger is hitting clotheslines and a running forearm on Bagwell. Powerslam and Luger calls for the Torture Rack. Too much posing from Luger as Bagwell hits him from behind. Elizabeth gets in the ring with the bat. Bagwell cuts her off and takes it away. Bat shot for Luger. Ginger ref does nothing about it. Swinging neckbreaker from Bagwell. He sets up for the Blockbuster. Liz hits him with the bat! Luger gets Bagwell in the Rack and it's over! 1/2*

 

Chuck Palumbo, making his WCW PPV debut after recently graduating from the Power Plant, runs in and attacks Luger. He's got Luger's logo on his tights. The intention was Palumbo was going to be the "New Blood Luger". Bagwell helps Palumbo get Luger up in a Torture Rack. Not quite as effective with Palumbo. Bagwell then carries Liz off like she's the damsel in a '50's sci-fi B movie. 

 

Shane Douglas def "Nature Boy" Ric Flair in 8:04- This was a legitimate real life feud as Douglas had longtime personal issues with Flair, but everyone gets through like professionals here. Flair's continuing to wrestle in street clothes as a way to annoy Russo. Would that really annoy Russo though? Flair gives us a bit of Slick Ric after the bell. Lockup, speed and Douglas hits a shoulderblock. Another lockup with a clean corner break. Flair works into a hammerlock and Douglas back elbows him. Backdrop from Douglas. Off another corner whip Flair gets a back elbow. Chop exchange. Snap mare from Flair. He goes up top so Douglas can slam him down. Douglas hooks on a figure four! Flair slowly crawls over and gets a rope break. Straight up Greco Roman Nut Stomp from Douglas. Flair, writhing in pain, staggers up and hits chops while still selling his hurt nads. That's how you do it, folks. Douglas tries for another figure four but Flair eye pokes to get free. Classic Flair uppercut low blow and Douglas falls out of the ring. More chops from Flair on the floor and he whips Douglas into the guardrail. Flair takes issue with Mark Madden existing (who can blame him), hits more chops and pounds on Douglas on the announce table. Post shot for Douglas. Coming back in Douglas grabs Flair and suplexes him. Douglas goes into his boot and gets a chain out. He wraps it around his fist and nails Flair with it! Double snap suplex and delayed suplex from Douglas. He takes too long to cover and Flair kicks out. Ground and pound from Douglas. Flair slips free, gets on his knees and tells Douglas to f'n bring it. Douglas does. Punch/chop exchange in the corner. Douglas goes down and Flair around struts a bit. Flair gives Douglas a receipt knee in the groin. Greco Roman Nut Punt! We've gone through every variation of low blow in this match. Russo's probably creaming himself backstage. Flair clips Douglas' knee. Kneebreaker into a figure four attempt. Flair stalls forever while waiting for people to get in position. Finally someone in a Sting mask hits Flair from behind with a baseball bat. Commentary says it's Russo. Bagwell is also running out. Douglas cradles Flair off the bat shot and gets the pin. Another decently good match, one of Flair's better ones in a very rough period for him, but way too reliant on groinal punishment, plus the usual interference finish. **1/2

 

After the bell Douglas, Bagwell and the guy in the Sting mask beat Flair down. Flair gets a mic and calls for Russo, saying Russo owes him 5 minutes, also assuming Sting mask guy is Russo. I guess that was a match stipulation. But Flair lost? Like WCW cares. Luger comes out, takes the bat and pushes the guy in the Sting mask into the ring. But then the real Russo runs in and takes Luger out! So who's in the Sting mask? The masked guy smashes something glass over Flair's head. Mask off.....it's David Flair. Second time he's turned on his dad. Shouldn't even be a surprise at this point. Russo says "start the clock" and a 5 minute countdown actually starts on screen. Wolfpac howl again and for the second time tonight Nash saunters his way out. Two run walk ins in one night? Wonder if he was arguing for double pay in the back. Nash goes to jackknife Russo but Daffney comes in and low blows Nash from behind. Russo and David hug and end scene. 

 

Sting def Vampiro in 6:55- Under better circumstances this could be a potentially interesting feud. Even putting general WCW 2000 awfulness aside, the disaster of Starrcade '97 and Sting's initial Crow Sting run getting all frakked up at the end completely broke Sting's give a shit forever, at least in WCW. Vampiro meets Sting on the ramp during Sting's entrance and it's on. Sting's still got his bat. Is it allowed for two guys to have the same gimmick weapon? Sting suplexes Vampiro on the ramp. Inverted atomic drop as they head to the ring. Sting punches Vampiro into the ring then hits a missile dropkick. Vampiro rolls back out to the floor. Sting dive off the top to the floor! Announce table shot for Vampiro. Sting DDTs him on the floor. Back in Vampiro hits a low blow. It'd be nice if they found another turnaround move, especially after so many in the last match. Clothesline off the top from Vampiro. He goes under the ring, gets his giant lead pipe and hits Sting with it. Knee to Sting's crotch. More pipe shots. They go back out onto the ramp. Vampiro faceplants Sting on the ramp. Spin kick from Vampiro. He 360 clotheslines Sting back into the ring. Another pipe shot. Corner clothesline. Vampiro sets Sting up top. Sting cuts it off with, what else, a low blow. Avalanche powerbomb from Sting! Now he gets the pipe and goes to town with Vampiro on it. Stinger Splash! Another one with the pipe! Scorpion Death Drop! (Sting initially put it on backwards and had to reset) Another one! Cover and Sting gets a relatively easy win. After the bell Sting gives Vampiro one more pipe shot for the road. Not too bad when Sting was in control, much less so when Vampiro was. *1/2

 

In the back, Arquette thinks he looks great in his flamey red cape but he's scared about the match. DDP promises him that as long as he follows their plan he'll be fine. Elsewhere, Nash is searching the back for his extra pay for being on the show so much.

 

Hulk Hogan (w/Horace Hogan) def Billy Kidman (w/Torrie Wilson) in 13:37- I can't think of a more unlikely Hogan feud than this one. In a way it kind of presages Hogan's good WWE run in 2002-3 when he was actually willing to help put new guys over, though that last part isn't the case here. Eric Bischoff, who's aligned with the New Blood and is now a Hogan foe after them being together so long in the NWO, is the special guest ref for this match. Kimberly Page is also with him after turning on DDP the last PPV because Russo. For some reason commentary is using Hogan's real name Terry Bollea a bunch, I guess more Russo attempts at fourth wall breaking. Hogan looks like Biker Hogan. I can't for my life remember what the FUNB acronym on the back of his vest is supposed to stand for. Kidman stalls on the floor with Bischoff acting as lead blocker. Hogan finally has enough and chases Kidman on the floor, allowing Kidman to catch him sliding back in. Speed run and they have a massive fumble session over Kidman blocking a Hogan slam into a small package. Not a promising start. Kidman goes for a crucifix into a cradle attempt. Hogan pulls him up by the throat, crotches him over the top rope and clotheslines him down to the floor. Hogan brings a chair into the ring, much to Bischoff's consternation. Hogan drops Kidman chest first onto the top of the chair! Ouch. Kidman gets a boot up in the corner, and after a ton of setup time Hogan manages to sell a Kidman hurricanrana. Dropkick from Kidman and Hogan slides out to rethink things. He drags Kidman out and runs him into the barricade. Kidman hides behind Torrie and pushes her into Hogan to get a shot in. Kidman gets a bit of basic token offense in before Hogan comes back with punches and a clothesline. He takes the weightlifting belt off and goes to town on Kidman with it. YAPPAPI! Bischoff takes the belt away and Kidman attacks from behind. Bischoff then gives the belt to Kidman to whip Hogan with. Kidman gets some flippydo counters going, but Hogan says screw that and hiptosses him over the top down to the floor. After some more ringside knockaround Hogan covers in the ring and Bischoff refuses to count. Back suplex from Hogan. Another cover and again Bischoff refuses to count. Hogan gets in Bischoff's face, then tries elbow drops that Kidman dodges. Hogan shorts pulls Kidman back out to the floor. Kidman gets dumped over the announce table. Coming back in Kidman snaps Hogan's throat over the top rope. Hogan does a mini Hulk Up off Kidman forearms and puts him back down. Big boot. Bischoff blocks the legdrop! Hogan punches out Bischoff! Legdrop on Kidman! He gives Kidman some ground and pound. Bischoff comes in with a chair. Hogan cuts that off and gives Bischoff and Kidman chairshots. Hogan goes under the ring and gets a table! Two tables! Going way outside his wheelhouse. HA, one of the tables has a broken leg! Hogan goes a bit mid-'90s Shawn Michaels on it, then props it up on the ropes as an alternative. Table 2 sets up correctly. Hogan starts to set up Bischoff, but Kidman hits him in the back with the chair. Kidman covers but Bischoff is too hurt to count. Finally he sees and Hogan kicks out. Hogan's busted open off the chairshot. Bischoff holds Hogan for another chairshot. Hogan cuts it off by big booting the chair into Kidman, then low blowing Bischoff. He powerbombs Bischoff through the table! Now Hogan gets a THIRD table. That he can't get in the ring because he's got the leg down and locked. Finally he figures it out. Kidman low blow (sigh) on Hogan. Another chairshot and Kidman sets table #3 up. He sets Hogan up on it and goes up top. Hogan dodges the splash and Kidman goes through the table. Hogan covers, and Horace Hogan comes in and uses unconscious Bischoff's hand to count 3. What a mess, and essentially a complete squash. Hogan didn't seem the least bit interested in letting Kidman get more than the bare minumum in, and either couldn't or wouldn't do any of Kidman's best stuff. Though to be fair, as solid as Kidman was in the ring his ceiling was Cruiserweight champion and not much more. He was really punching above his weight here in more ways than one. 1/4*

 

Cut to outside the arena where Russo is forcibly leading Elizabeth away. He sticks Liz into a bus, but it's Luger's bus! What a maroon. Russo doesn't even look, he hops in a car and drives off. All the while Nash looks on and sips on a beer for...reasons.

 

Some more setup for the main event. The reason Arquette was wrapped up all of this in the first place was he starred in a WCW co-produced movie called Ready to Rumble, which used the WCW name and featured many WCW wrestlers. Arquette's appearances on TV were to help promote the movie. Perfectly natural. But then Russo got a hold of it and took it way, way too far. The big final setpiece for that movie was a match that featured a triple layer steel cage. To help justify the cost of it, WCW decided to use it for real matches, starting right here tonight. The base of the structure is what was used as the Hell in a Cell ripoff "Caged Heat" cage that first appeared in a throwaway midcard match at Souled Out, then there's two smaller cages stacked on the roof. For this match the middle cage has been designated as the "hardcore cage" and is filled with weapons. The top cage, which is barely big enough for two people, is the same height as the lighting rig. I'm getting serious Tower of Doom flashbacks from 1996, but at least this one is over the ring and not stuffed in an arena corner where hardly anyone can see it. Pre-WCW Jim Crockett also had a three story cage, also called the Tower of Doom, at the Great American Bash '88 PPV, so tonight's structure isn't completely unprecedented. Both those matches sucked ass by the way. In fact the '96 Tower of Doom at Uncensored might be the single worst excuse of a match I've ever seen.

 

Triple Cage Match for the WCW World Heavyweight Championship: Jeff Jarrett def David Arquette (c) and Diamond Dallas Page in 15:20- To be clear, I have no idea what the rules for this match are supposed to be or how the top two cages are supposed to be used. Commentary's been no help on that front so far. I'm assuming Arquette's gear is the same as he wore in the movie. He looks like someone that's about to jump a motorcycle over a bunch of cars through a flaming hoop more than a wrestler. They chase around on the floor and I see that there's a bunch of ladders inside the cage too. DDP attacks Jarrett to save Arquette. DDT from Jarrett on DDP in the ring, then he goes after Arquette again. DDP cuts that off with a clothesline. Punch ducks and another DDP clothesline, followed by a uranage. He tells Arquette to go up top. Arquette goes for a big splash but Jarrett dodges. DDP grabs Jarrett again and throws him into the cage. Man, the bottom of that cage is loose as hell. Jarrett baseball slides a ladder into DDP. DDP whips Jarrett on the floor, but right into the standing and waiting Arquette. Tony says the purpose of the ladders are to get up into the next level cage. Well, OK then. But what after that? Arquette takes another inadvertent shot on the floor. DDP crotches Jarrett on the post, then gets a ladder in the ring. He sets the ladder up under what I assume is the door into the middle cage. But then he goes back out and attacks Jarrett again. Jarrett's busted open from all the cage shots, even if the cage has more give than the 2025 Dallas Cowboys defense (I'm a Cowboys fan, I can say that). DDP starts to climb the ladder but Jarrett catches him and back suplexes him off. Ohhhhhh, now Madden says you have to get on TOP of the top cage to grab the belt, it's hung on a hook up there. Like a ladder match. Finally, at the end of the PPV and halfway through the match we finally know what the hell the goal is. And, that's practically the arena roof as high as that cage is. Jarrett climbs but DDP powerbombs him back down. DDP whips Jarrett into the ladder. Then Jarrett reverses it and drops the ladder on DDP. Jarrett brings in a second ladder and drops that on DDP. He climbs again but DDP pushes him down. Double climb and slugfest on the ladder. DDP grabs the roof and kicks the ladder down! That sends Jarrett onto the part of the entrance ramp that's inside the cage. DDP climbs, gets the door open and climbs up into the middle cage. They've actually done a decent job of making the floor at this level as stable as possible. DDP gets a pair of bolt cutters. So, as I'm learning as it's happening because again nothing has been explained beforehand, you have to use the bolt cutters to cut the lock off the middle cage door, and that will give you access to climb up to the top cage. DDP does get the door open, but then Jarrett attacks him and runs him into a hanging trash can. Chairshot for DDP. Jarrett goes out and starts to climb the outside of the middle cage. Oh bloody hell, I'm seeing it clearly for the first time and there's FOUR guitars hung up inside the top cage. Jeff Jarrett heaven. DDP cuts Jarrett off and they go back into the middle cage. Jarrett breaks something over DDP's head. DDP fires back with a chairshot. He runs Jarrett into the wall and it collapses! Going by their reaction I'm not sure if that was planned or not. They're damn lucky they didn't fall any further than they did. DDP's bleeding now too. I assume that's his blood and not Jarrett's. There's a table in the middle cage and DDP sets it up as well as he can on the wobbly floor. He slams Jarrett through the table! It worked. Jarrett's still up first and they do some back and forth on the exterior part of the middle level. They tease a whip that would send someone off the top of the cage to the floor but we know that's not happening. Arquette, who yes is still in this match, finally climbs up to the middle cage. Then bypasses everyone and climbs to the top level. "The guitar room" as commentary puts it. Mike Awesome is on the cage and attacks Jarrett! For fuck's sake can we go one main event without someone running in. Arquette climbs the top cage and is now in range to grab the belt and win. DDP gives Awesome the Diamond Cutter. Arquette is on the very tippy top roof but is making no move for the belt. Commentary assumes he's going to block for DDP. Jarrett and DDP finally make it up to the top cage level. Again Jarrett teases falling, then goes inside the tiny top cage. The "guitar room". And as is mandatory for a Jarrett match, guitars are broken. Arquette has also gotten a guitar up on the very top. The other two climb. Arquette hits DDP with his guitar! RUSSO SWERVE! Jarrett and Arquette hug, and Jarrett gets the belt to win the title back. *sigh*. Freaking Russo swerves, man. Another thing he just can't help himself on no matter how little they make sense. After the bell Kanyon gets on the cage to fire things back up with Awesome. Awesome tosses Kanyon off the middle cage onto the entrance ramp! End show. Trying to copy HIAC '98, but it's just a pointless throw in after the match is over that no one cares about. Overall though, for a WCW gimmick match that wasn't too shabby. Once the rules were finally explained they made sense, and even better they were stuck to. That alone puts it ahead of most WCW gimmick matches like this. They also minimized Arquette as much as possible, and Jarrett and DDP had built up pretty good chemistry. The last part of the match drug pretty bad though, they couldn't keep up the momentum from about the table spot on, and it ends with yet another predictable and nonsensical Russo swerve. **1/4

 

One last word on this, I want to make sure to point out I don't blame Arquette for any of this. In the years since he's made it clear it wasn't his idea to win the title, and in fact he fought tooth and nail to not win it, but in the end had to do what he was being paid for. Starting in 2018 he started working occasional matches in indy promotions as a kind of "redemption tour", which as far as I know have been generally well received. Also, in true Russo fashion the World title is going to change hands a bunch more times before the next PPV, but more on that next time.

 

OVERALL SHOW THOUGHTS- This is probably the closest we'll get to a "good" show from end of life WCW. "Good" graded on a huge curve, of course. They managed to not have anything mind blowingly atrocious, and even got a few halfway decent matches out there, including what's honestly one of the better over the top gimmick matches you'll see in all of WCW history.

OVERALL SHOW GRADE: C-