Tuesday, November 19, 2019

Royal Rumble '88

Legacy Review

Royal Rumble '88

January 24, 1988 from the Copps Coliseum in Hamilton, Ontario

Commentary: Vince McMahon and Jesse Ventura

The inaugural Rumble was not a PPV, but a special on the USA Network. This show represented another round in the scheduling moves and countermoves between WWF and the NWA/Crockett. The NWA was attempting to use its semi-successful annual Bunkhouse Stampede match as its first ever non-Starrcade PPV. WWF countered by putting their own spin on the classic battle royale format on basic cable at the same time.

Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat def "Ravishing" Rick Rude by DQ in 16:40- Heenan's not out with Rude, Rude doesn't do his prematch schtick, and he's wearing generic tights with no airbrushing. You'd hardly think it was Rude. Slugfest start. Steamboat skins the cat and backdrops Rude over the top and out. Rude wants a test of strength. Steamboat ZSJ's out and gets a DEEP armdrag. Well, deepish. For Steamboat that was only about a .7. Lots of arm work from Steamboat. There's a lady in the front row with a megaphone. There's something that would never get past security again. Well, the show is in Canada. Was there even any security at the entrance? Jimmy Hart needs to take her to kangaroo court for gimmick infringement. They turn it up a bit with a nice reversal sequence but Steamboat goes right back to the arm. Steamboat does some nice slides through Rude's legs, gets another .8 deep armdrag, and goes right back to the arm. Rude turns it around with an elbow to the face. He remembers to sell the arm when he's posing which is a nice touch. Rude dodges a dive and Steamboat flies outside. Rude rams his back on the edge of the ring (it's the hardest part), bodyslams him on the floor, and suplexes him back in. Long double chinlock (half a camel clutch) spot. Steamboat's arm clearly drops 3 times but Hebner goes for 4. Steamboat lifts Rude up into an electric chair to get out. That gets a "WHAT A MANEUVER!" from Vince. They baaaaaaaaarely pull off the bridge up spot. Steamboat starts hitting the quick covers WM 3 style. Steamboat goes for the crossbody off the top, but Rude pulls Hebner in the way and Hebner eats it. Rude gets Steamboat up in a torture rack like hold. Hebner gets up and calls for the bell. Rude's music plays and commentary says Steamboat submitted, but as Rude's leaving Fink announces Steamboat as the winner by DQ. Rude lets Hebner have it as we go to commercial. Rude was still inexperienced and Steamboat was starting to get disillusioned with his standing in WWF, but there was some decent back and forth in here and you could almost see the potential for something good. That potential would be reached in their WCW US title feud in '92. **

Mean Gene is out with Ventura. Dino Bravo is going to attempt to break the world record for the bench press, with Ventura "spotting". The record is 705 lbs. And Bravo is going to start at.....415. Smeg. It's a "warm up" lift. Bravo tries to get the crowd interested by demanding silence. We have to sit through Bravo gradually moving up 50 pounds per lift. It's a testament to how great Okerlund is that this segment doesn't completely fall to pieces. Finally after 15 minutes (I'm not joking, I wish I was) they make it to a record attempt at 715. Ventura helps Bravo lift the bar then denies doing it after. The only moderately decent thing that came out of this was Superstar Billy Graham going completely nuts on commentary at Summerslam '88 over how much of a sham this was. Who knew there were so many rules in weightlifting?

2 out of 3 Falls Match for the WWF Women's Tag Team Championship: The Jumping Bomb Angels def The Glamour Girls (c) (w/Jimmy Hart) in 15:21- Yes, you read that right. There was a WWF Women's Tag Championship before the modern version. The background story of it is pretty interesting. The NWA had both women's and women's tag titles dating back to the '50s (half of the first women's tag champs was, who else, Mae Young). In '83 when Fabulous Moolah signed with WWF she also had legal ownership of the NWA women's (she was champion) and women's tag titles. The reigning women's tag champs also signed with Vince, and Moolah sold him the NWA belts which were used to create the WWF version of the title. The Glamour Girls were the third team to hold the WWF tag titles, and had been champions over two and a half years. Jobber entrance for the champs, that's never a good sign. Everyone stalls in the ring while Vince bitches at Ventura for helping Bravo out earlier. But we get going quickly when the Angels ambush the Girls with dropkicks. Ventura asks Vince what the Angels' names are. Vince cares about as much as JR did when he was calling New Japan. Vince's excuse is "I don't speak Japanese". Well neither do I but I know how to pronounce names! It's easy when you get the hang of it. I apologize if I get the Angels backwards here, I'm working with the best info I can find since the original broadcast is no help. Yamazaki bridges out of a pin attempt. Tateno locks in a cobra twist. The Angels are working at 100 MPH. They're really damn good. Donnybrook. Stereo figure fours on the Girls. The Angels work Kai's leg for a bit. Kai manages to crawl away and Marella allows a clearly illegal tag as Martin's feet were on the bottom rope. Everything Ventura says about you is true, Marella. Tateno splats off the top rope and it looks like she hits the back of her head on the mat. Martin gets a spiffy flippy slam on Tateno for the first fall.
SECOND FALL: Tateno does another nice bridge out of a pin and dodges a dive to get a tag. Yamazaki gets 2 off a dive from the second rope. Vince has names! Or he thinks he does. I think he's saying their first names but I can't be sure. A Girls double team attempt fails. Martin tries for the flippy slam again but Tateno turns it into a sunset flip to get the 3! Great counter.
THIRD FALL: The Angels double team Kai. Tateno hits an enziguri. Yamazaki and Martin have a nice counter sequence. Kai hits a double underhook suplex for 2. Yamazaki sneaks away and gets the tag. After some selling Tateno says eff this and starts schooling Kai. A bodyslam/top rope kneedrop combo from the Angels gets 2. Tateno misses a senton off the top rope but quickly recovers. While Martin is bitching with the ref the Angels hit stereo missile dropkicks off the top rope to get the 3 and the titles! Huge pop from the crowd too, who probably had no clue who they were before tonight. Don't let anyone BS you into thinking workrate doesn't get over. The Angels were a tribute to joshi puroresu and way, way ahead of their time. They'd fit right in today. The Glamour Girls to their credit did their jobs as complementary pieces perfectly. The layout was great and they worked their asses off. The Glamour Girls would win the titles back in June in Japan before the belts were quietly retired in early '89. ***

Next up, Hogan and Andre are signing the contract for their rematch at next month's The Main Event. We get some highlight packages: Andre's near fall at the start of the WM 3 match that he and Heenan argued was a 3 count ever since, DiBiase trying to buy the title and Hogan refusing, and DiBiase making a deal with Andre for Andre to win the title and hand it over to DiBiase. DiBiase is out with Andre. Incidentally, this is the final major appearance of the pre-Winged Eagle WWF title belt that Hogan used for most of his first reign. President Tunney tries to get things moving. That's a wee little table they're using for this. Who gave them the kiddie table? Hogan sits down and signs, but Andre's in no rush. Andre casually leaning against the ropes with his hands in his pockets without a care in the world is super cool. He looks like a 450 pound Orange Cassidy. Finally Andre sits down and starts to slowly read the contract over. DiBiase promises he's put some sweeteners in there. "A contract is a contract is a contract, but only between Ferengi" (Rule of Acquisition #17). Andre finally signs. DiBiase tells him to give it the "stamp of approval". Andre smashes Hogan's face in the table and turns the table on him. Literally. DiBiase as Andre's mouthpiece/puppetmaster was a fantastic dynamic. And all the better because, for once, the heels' plan actually worked, thanks to a bit of twin magic in the match.

Royal Rumble- The first ever Rumble is a 20 man affair as that was the generally considered standard size for battle royales at the time. 2 minute intervals. Elimination is described as "over the top and it doesn't matter where your feet hit". We'll see how that holds up. The first two guys are already in the ring for introductions.
1 & 2. Bret "Hitman" Hart and WWF Tag Team Champion Tito Santana- They work a perfectly standard (but good, with these two) back and forth with no elimination attempts until right before #3 comes in. There's a countdown clock on screen but clearly not one in the arena.
3. "The Natural" Butch Reed- As Reed's coming in Santana nails Bret with the flying tamale. Reed goes straight for Santana and the heels double team him.
4. Jim "The Anvil" Neidhart- The draw is not working in Santana's favor. Neidhart runs in before the countdown and there's no way it's been 2 minutes. Small kinks, it's the first one. The heels triple team Santana into guacamole.
5. Jake "The Snake" Roberts- Massive pop. Roberts saves Santana and immediately throws Reed out. Roberts hooks Bret in for the DDT but Anvil saves him by absolutely murdering Roberts with a clothesline.
6. "King" Harley Race- Everyone breaks down across heel/face lines. 
7. "Jumping" Jim Brunzell- Anvil saves Bret again. Roberts pulls Anvil's beard!
8. Sam Houston- The Harts eliminate Santana.
9. "Dangerous" Danny Davis- He goes right for Houston, the only guy in the match smaller than he is. Race does a seesaw spot in the ropes. Davis picks a fight with Roberts and doesn't like what he gets.
10. Boris Zhukov- Goes right for capitalist pig Texan Houston. Race and Zhukov have the first heel/heel faceoff but it doesn't last long.
11. "The Rock" Don Muraco- But wait! Muraco AND Nikolai Volkoff come out. The refs keep Volkoff from getting in. Roberts and Brunzell eliminate Zhukov while Vokoff looks on helpless. I'm not sure if that was planned or Volkoff just got confused.
12. Nikolai Volkoff- The refs let him in. Muraco eliminates Race, but Race argues with the refs and refuses to leave.
13. "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan- Another pretty big pop. Duggan and Race say hi to each other with fists on Duggan's way in.
14. "Outlaw" Ron Bass- Volkoff eliminates Brunzell. Muraco gets a .5 Flair Flip in.
15. B. Brian Blair- Roberts is by far the most over guy in this match. Every time he does anything there's DDT chants.
16. Hillbilly Jim- Anvil goes right for him. Jim dodges and eliminates Anvil. Blair goes over the top but lands on the apron. So much for that "no matter where the feet hit" thing.
17. Dino Bravo- Houston climbs up the ropes and for some reason gets on Bass' shoulders. Bass thanks his stupidity and dumps him over the top and out. What the hell was that?
18. The Ultimate Warrior- Almost zero crowd reaction. Warrior was still a work in progress in just about every respect. And for some reason he's in Hogan red and yellow. Muraco eliminates Bret.
19. The One Man Gang- It's amazing how these big guys always end up coming in late. It's like the drawing's rigged or something. Nah. OMG eliminates both Blair and Roberts.
20. The Junkyard Dog- Duggan eliminates Volkoff FOR AMERICA. OMG eliminates Jim. A 3 point stance charge from Duggan takes out Davis. OMG and Bravo eliminate Warrior to zero reaction. Bass eliminates JYD. Bass eliminates himself while Muraco belatedly tries to make it look like he's clotheslining him over.
Final Four: Muraco, Duggan, Bravo and OMG. OMG squashes Duggan in the corner. Muraco plays dodge the heels for a bit. Frenchie gets on the apron and Muraco dropkicks him. Bravo holds Muraco and OMG clotheslines him out. The heels corner Duggan so Duggan tries to strike first. It works for a bit but the heels are too much. They set up to take Duggan out the same way as Muraco earlier, but Duggan dodges and OMG eliminates Bravo instead. Duggan and OMG renew their longstanding rivalry from Mid-South/UWF. After some OMG pummeling Duggan does the now classic, oft repeated Rumble ending spot where OMG charges and Duggan pulls down the top rope on him. OMG dumps outside and Hacksaw Jim Duggan is your first ever Royal Rumble winner.

There wasn't a whole lot going here in terms of star power, as the match was filled with lower midcarders and tag teams, but it was clear they were on to something with the format. With a bit of spit and polish, a move to PPV, expanding to 30 guys and making sure the big names were all involved, the Rumble would quickly become the most popular gimmick match of all time and one of the most anticipated dates on the wrestling calendar every year. 30 years on, it's still as popular as ever. **3/4

Hogan promo time. He's so pissed he rips his shirt off.

2 out of 3 Falls Match: The Islanders (w/Bobby Heenan) def The Young Stallions in 14:00- Tama and Powers start. Tama hides in the ropes before Powers gets within 5 feet of him, then offers the insincere handshake. Tama's attitude is not unlike another Tama that's wrestling in Japan today. With fewer crotch grabs. It's a PG era. Vince somehow says what we were all thinking and says the bench press segment was boring. Roma and Haku trade arm wringers. They botch a hip toss spot. Powers goes mild FIP before a double clothesline leads to double tags. Roma's a house on fire and Tama begs off. The Islanders double team to send Roma flying over the top and out to the floor, hurting his knee. Roma's counted out.
SECOND FALL: No, wait. The Stallions are in the back with Roma "getting medial treatment" on his knee, so the DiBiase/Andre promo to respond to Hogan is shoehorned in. DiBiase promises victory. Andre claims he's still undefeated and gives the low rent 10 year old Sean Mooney clone a shot in the stomach for interrupting.
SECOND FALL FOR REAL: Roma's knee is taped up but he's a wrestler, dammit. Roma has to start the fall because he was the legal man at the end of the last fall. Tama goes for the knee like a lion on fresh meat. Roma manages to get his knees up on a dive and tags Powers in. Powers gets some near falls in before Haku has enough and gives him a stiff shot right in the gut. Powers goes FIP with the added story of Roma being hurt and useless. Roma tries to tag in anyway and eventually manages to. Haku dismantles the knee. Tama hits a big splash on the knee of the top rope, then gets Roma to submit to a single leg crab. A 2-0 victory in a best of 3 falls match is pretty much a squash. The Islanders looked good, but the match flow was completely killed by the delay and promo spot. They would have been much better off running two short matches instead of this. 3/4*

OVERALL SHOW THOUGHTS: With the combination of mid-level matches and non-wrestling segments this felt a lot like an extended Saturday Night's Main Event episode with only the B crew present. Still, it gets the job done. The first Rumble is of course historic but also a fine watch, and it's also nice to see some quality joshi wrestling decades before it caught on in the US.
OVERALL SHOW GRADE: C

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