St. Valentine's Day Massacre '99: In Your House

Legacy Review

St. Valentine's Day Massacre '99: In Your House

February 14, 1999 from the Memphis Pyramid in Memphis, TN

Commentary: Michael Cole and hometown hero Jerry Lawler

Double history being made in the title for this show. First, it's the one and only St. Valentine's Day Massacre. Second, this is the final show to bear the In Your House name until it was revived under the NXT umbrella in 2020. From this point on all the B PPVs will have their own name without the INY moniker. We're on the road to Wrestlemania 15, and after Mr. McMahon's controversial (in more ways than one) Royal Rumble win we still don't have the main event for the big show set. That will be settled tonight.

Goldust def Bluedust in 3:07- Bluedust is ECW legend and JOB Squad member the Blue Meanie, who's been harassing Goldust ever since his WWF arrival. The Blue One even comes out to the Gold One's music. Blue paint, blue pyro and everything. Goldust does the early jump and hits a spinebuster with Meanie still in his robe. Aggressive beatdown by Goldust in the corner. Meanie manages to get his robe off, eats a clothesline and powders. Cole gets a line in about Lawler following Jesse Ventura's lead starting a political career and running for mayor of Memphis. That didn't go so well for Lawler as it turned out. He'd have to settle for the unelected position of King of Memphis for life instead. Goldust gives Meanie a minute, then drags him by in by the hair. Back in Meanie lays some kicks onto Goldust's knee. He hooks on a spinning toe hold with some extremely disturbing hip gyrations. It almost looks like he's humping Goldust's leg. Goldust pushes out with his foot, gives Meanie a wedgie and spanks him. There's an internet forum somewhere where this just became their favorite match ever. Goldust sets up for Shattered Dreams but Meanie gets a boot up on the charge. He goes up top and the moonsault misses. Goldust hits the Curtain Call and gets the pin. Afterward he hits Shattered Dreams to send the crowd to the next match happy. Crap, but amusing crap. The Goldust/Meanie saga would continue after this in the most bizarre, insane way possible. 3/4*

 

Vacant WWF Hardcore Championship: Bob Holly def Al Snow (w/Head) in 10:02- Road Dogg was forced to vacate the title after being attacked backstage the previous night on Saturday Raw. Guess he wasn't hardcore enough. A theory backed up by the fact he'd never win the Hardcore title again. I can't remember if they were covering a real injury or not. This is an intra-JOB Squad battle, leader Snow against member Holly. We get a jump start and Holly gets tossed out. Snow gets a chair and whacks Holly in the head with it. They go over the barricade and into the crowd. Cole mentions that Holly is trying to get the "stink" of Sparky Plugg off his career. A shoot comment if I ever heard one. A fire extinguisher enters the match and both guys get sprayed with it as they work to the backstage area. Snow gets tossed into some storage crates. Holly takes a shot from a pay phone. A trash can gets tossed around and Holly breaks some floor tiles over Snow's head. They head outside, where commentary says it's about 30 degrees. Memphis in February, believable. Snow finds a row of mops and breaks several over Holly. The start of a beautiful relationship for Snow. He covers Holly for 2. They go by the WWF truck, which has WWF's AOL Keyword on it. Oh man that takes me back. Snow hits some kidney punches and a no parking sign goes down. Holly whacks Snow with the sign and covers for 2. They go across the street and Holly is run into the giant concrete wall that's around the arena. Snow gets tossed through a chain link fence. A traffic barricade gets broken. Snow chokes Holly with some wire hanging off the fence. Holly whacks Snow with a standing stop sign as they work their way to the bank of the Mississippi River. Holly gets a wheelbarrow out. Snow gets Holly into it but it quickly tips over and they forget about whatever they were planning to do with it. Both guys go in the river! Brawl in the water! Snow gets out and walks back up the bank. Holly nails him in the back with a wood plank for 2. Both guys try to unroll some chain link fencing that's laying on the ground. Snow hits some more kidney punches. Holly kicks Snow onto the chain link. He wraps Snow up in a chain link burrito! Snow can't get free and Holly gets the pin and the title! This would be the start of Holly's career revival as a take no shit give no shits ass kicker and one of the standouts of the hardcore division, eventually taking the name Hardcore Holly. The match was fun hardcore stuff, but went on a bit too long for what they were doing, the last part drug a bit. **1/2

We get footage from earlier tonight of the Undertaker, now fully transformed into a satanic cult leader, pumping up his Ministry of Darkness troops. The group has swelled considerably and now includes manager Paul Bearer, the Acolytes (Faarooq and Bradshaw), the Brood (Gangrel, Edge and Christian), Viscera (formerly Mabel) and Mideon (formerly, among others, Phineas Godwinn).

 

The Big Boss Man def Mideon in 6:20- This is a Ministry of Darkness vs Corporation battle. Mideon's thing is he carries an eyeball in a formaldehyde jar to the ring. He places it on the commentary table and asks Lawler to look after it. Basic start with Boss Man hitting a shoulderblock and he does pretty much all he's capable of now, throwing a ton of punches. Mideon reverses a corner whip and hits a corner clothesline, then takes his turn to pound away with punches. Boss Man low blows him and tosses him out. He gets a chair. Mideon ducks the shot and Boss Man whacks the ring post. Mideon bites Boss Man's fingers! Boss Man snaps Mideon over the top rope getting back in and puts on a kind of face smother. Again Mideon reverses a whip and hits a corner clothesline. Scintillating. Now he bites Boss Man's face. Boss Man counters with more punchy and face rakey stuff. He hits an avalanche and puts on a full nelson. Mideon does a standing switch and hits a pretty bad German suplex for 2. Hey, a wrestling move! Give them a bonus. Mideon backdrops out of a piledriver. Double clothesline. After some more sloppy back and forth Mideon runs into the Boss Man Slam and that gets the pin. A terrible match that leads to an even worse match at Wrestlemania, as you'll see below. 1/4*

The Ministry come out and surround the ring. Undertaker's Dong hits. While the arena is still dark for Taker's entrance the Ministry jump Boss Man in the ring. Viscera squashes him with a trio of big splashes, and the Ministry haul his carcass away. Trust me, this leads nowhere good.

 

WWF Tag Team Championship: Jeff Jarrett and Owen Hart (c) (w/Debra) def D'Lo Brown and "Sexual Chocolate" Mark Henry (w/Ivory) in 9:34- The odd pairing of Jarrett and Owen took the tag titles from the Corporation team of Boss Man and Ken Shamrock on Raw the week after the Rumble. Ladies' man Henry gives Ivory some roses and chocolate for Valentine's Day before the match. Owen and Henry start. Owen slaps the big man. Henry shoves him into the corner and goes to work. Big clothesline from Henry. Owen slips away and hits a really sloppy bulldog on Brown. Brown gets a powerslam on Jarrett for 2. Henry comes in with a double clothesline. Debra gets on the apron to try to distract Henry. Ivory redirects him back to her. Brown pushes Owen off the apron but walks into a Jarrett armbar slam. The champs work some double teams as the crowd gives Owen some "nugget" chants. Owen spinebuster/Jarrett fistdrop off the second rope double team for 2. The champs keep up the teamwork to keep Brown in peril. Brown hits a counter suplex on Owen. Owen nails him with the enzuguri for 2. Champs double back elbow for 2. After a chinlock and arm drops Owen blind tags in and hits a spinning heel kick for 2. Henry gets lured in to choke Brown in the corner. Brown hits a desperation crossbody on Owen for 2 but again the champs stay in control. Owen goes for mounted punches. Brown counters into a powerbomb. Both sides tag and Henry runs wild. He tries to avalanche squash both champs but they get out in time. Brown hits spinning heel kicks on everyone. Sky High spinebuster on Jarrett for 2. Brown goes up top for the frog splash. Debra distracts him by flashing some cleavage. No man in their right mind wants that from her. Ivory comes over to pull Debra back. Brown separates them from fighting. While that's happening Owen nails Henry in the knee with Jarrett's guitar for the mandatory Jarrett match guitar shot. Jarrett puts on the figure four and Henry taps out. Afterwards Ivory and Debra have a clothes ripping fight to by far the biggest crowd reaction of the whole match. That was a prime example of a match that existed. *3/4

 

WWF Intercontinental Championship: Val Venus (w/Ryan Shamrock) def Ken Shamrock (c) in 15:52- Ready for some serious Russo? OK. Shamrock's (kayfabe only) sister Ryan debuted in the crowd on a Raw before the Rumble and was promptly mooned by Billy Gunn to set up the Rumble IC title match. At the same time, Venus took a shine to Ryan because she's a woman. Only qualification he ever needed. Before long, Ryan and Venus were doing Venus' movies together and maybe some off camera boinking too. That set the helicopter brother Shamrock off good and proper, and here we are. Billy Gunn is special guest reffing this match. Now, there's no denying Ryan is easy on the eyes. Absolutely. But she can't act. At all. By this point they were already giving her bare minimum to do, which included no talking whatsoever. Shamrock charges in during his entrance and it's on. Venus hits a stiff clothesline to the back of Shamrock's head, followed by corner chops and corner clotheslines. Shamrock plants Venus with a high kick to take control. The match slows down with Shamrock staying in control quite a while. He hits some elbows with Venus laying on the apron from the floor. Gunn hops out to get him back in and they argue. Ryan tries to look concerned for Venus. The key word is "tries". The Shamrock beatdown continues a bit longer until Venus blocks a suplex and hits his own delayed suplex. Inverted atomic drop. Venus hits a pair of elbows and covers. Gunn is slow to start counting and Shamrock kicks out. Double underhook suplex from Venus. A Shamrock flurry is cut off with an eye rake. Venus hits a backbreaker and stretches Shamrock out on his knee. Lawler gets Cole to break out laughing by asking if he thinks Venus got Ryan in that position. Venus runs Shamrock's back into the post. Back in he puts on a camel clutch. Shamrock gets free and starts swinging. He gets stopped with another eye rake. Venus hooks on a chinlock and tells Gunn "Ask him!". Gunn responds "Ask what?". Cover and again Gunn is slow on the draw. Venus hits a hot shot. Shamrock counters a backdrop and hits a DDT. He has Venus down but Gunn won't count 3. Venus hooks on a sleeper. Shamrock back suplexes out. Powerslam for 2. Forearm exchange. Venus hits a perfectplex for 2. Shamrock magistral cradle for 2. Venus hits knees against the ropes, a Russian leg sweep, and poses over Shamrock. He goes up top for the Money Shot. Shamrock gets up and slams him off. Spinning heel kick. Hurricanrana. Belly to belly slam. The ankle lock is on! Ryan helps Venus get to the ropes. Shamrock goes out and yells at her, then clearly, loudly and on camera tells her "Slap me". She does. An all time classic Botchamania moment there. I had to pause the video it made me laugh so hard all over again. Shamrock gets in a shoving match with Gunn and Gunn punches him. Back in Venus rolls up a small package, and Gunn super quick counts 3 to give Venus the title. Shamrock's title reign ends at 125 days, which will be the last 100+ day IC title reign for nearly 5 years. After the bell Gunn and Shamrock fight in the aisle, then for good measure Gunn gets in the ring and lays Venus out too. The match started promising but quickly bogged down into mediocrity. I don't get what Gunn reffing was supposed to accomplish either, especially with him refusing to count right for either guy, it just messed the match up more. **

 

Kane and Chyna def Triple H and WWF European Champion X-Pac in 14:45- Chyna turned heel on Triple H, and by extension all of DX, just after the Rumble to fill Russo's monthly turn quota, then joined the Corporation. Though to be fair they did seed it in months earlier when Chyna told a fracturing DX that if the group was going to break up, she was going to be the one to set it in motion. An added layer to this was thanks to the internet it was pretty much known in fandom that HHH and Chyna were an item in real life. Kane's unwillingly part of the Corporation because Vince has threatened to send him to an insane asylum if he left. Don't ask, it's Russo. The crowd is hot for DX. Trips gives what I'm pretty sure is the first full "ARE YOU READY" spiel on PPV. Chyna comes out to No Chance in Hell. HHH reveals to her he's wearing a Chyna shirt, then tears it up. Shane wanders out and joins commentary as the match starts. HHH and Kane start with some solid back and forth. Pac tags in and tries a kick flurry. Kane tosses him in the corner. I don't know what the hell Shane's on but he sounds like he's been in Hunter Biden's White House stash and he needs to turn it down about 10 notches. It's ridiculous. Seriously in worst commentary I've ever heard territory. Chyna wants a tag in and Kane obliges. She runs Pac over with a shoulderblock. Pac pushes her into the corner. Chyna avoids the bronco buster. Kane tags back in and Pac tries to chop him down. DX double team him. Chyna hits HHH from the apron. He turns to grab her and Kane nails him from behind. Clothesline off the top from Kane. Chyna tags in and hits HHH with a forearm. They fight for suplex leverage. HHH gets Chyna up but she slips away. She slams HHH! An elbow drop misses and tag to Pac. Pac dodges a Kane splash in the corner. DX double suplex Kane. Chyna goes up top. HHH tries to slam her off but Kane catches her. DX double DDT and double 360 clothesline on Kane. Kane and Pac fight on the floor. Pac takes Shane out! Thank God. Back in Kane catches Pac trying to hit a spinning heel kick and slams him. And Shane's back on. Well that was a short but blissful respite. Chyna hits a running powerslam on Pac for 2. HHH gets knocked off the apron and Chyna crotches Pac on the top rope. Kane clothesline him off and Chyna covers for 2. Chyna with a sleeper! After arm drops Pac back suplexes out. Tag to HHH. He ducks a Chyna shot and hits a clothesline. Kane gets fought off and HHH punches Chyna! She wanted to be treated just like one of the guys. Kane gets backdropped to the floor. Chyna hits some forearms. HHH nails her with the high knee. Kane pulls the top rope down and HHH falls to the floor. Chyna falls down in the corner and Pac gives her the bronco buster. Shane comes in and hits Pac, runs and gets Pac to chase him. HHH hits Chyna with the facebuster. He hooks up for the Pedigree. Kane comes in, chokeslams him, drags Chyna on top and that gets the pin. Good stuff, with Chyna looking like she belonged with the guys every step of the way. I'm knocking a little off the final rating because Shane's commentary was so bad it hurt the match. A rare hit, but a deserved one. **3/4

 

Before we get into the WWF Title match, a brief recap of how we got here. In the immortal words of Inigo Montoya, "Let me explain....no, there is too much. Let me sum up". After a fall full of controversial title matches between Steve Austin, the Undertaker and Kane, the Rock defeated Mankind for the vacant title in a tournament final at Survivor Series with help from his new Corporation teammates. Mankind then defeated Rock on the first Raw of '99 for his first world title in one of wrestling's all time great feel good moments, the one WCW infamously spoiled on Nitro and backfired on them hard with people switching over to watch it happen. Mick Foley did, in fact, put butts in seats. Rock won the title back at the Royal Rumble in an I Quit match thanks to recording shenanigans, then Mankind again took it back on the Halftime Heat special during halftime of the Super Bowl in an Empty Arena Falls Count Anywhere match with the help of a forklift. Now, after all that, they're having their last PPV match and checking off another box in Gimmick Match Bingo. Notice I didn't say last match. Just last PPV match.

Yes, that was the short version.

 

Last Man Standing Match for the WWF Championship: Mankind (c) and The Rock draw in 21:54- Rock gets a definite pop on his entrance. The turn at Survivor Series stalled out his cheers, but they're not going to hold them back forever. Rock's in casual attire again for the gimmick match. After the bell Mankind turns and puts his hands behind his back, emulating Rock handcuffing him in the I Quit match, and lets Rock take the first shot. And more. Now we get a "Rocky sucks" chant. Rock attacks the knee that he hurt earlier in the night on Heat. Mankind says enough is enough and whacks Rock with the title belt that Mankind conveniently left in his corner. Rock gets pounded to the floor and takes a walk up the aisle. Mankind runs him over with a clothesline from behind. Rock gets run into the steel structures used to make up the entrance stage, then reverses a whip and the back of Mankind's head whacks the same steel. They brawl onto a tech table. Mankind DDTs Rock through the table! Rock is up at 8. They fight into a weird small section of empty seats that seem completely out of place. Rock back suplexes Mankind on the concrete! Light Foley bump. They work back toward the ring and Rock gets run into the steps. Back in the ring Mankind slams Rock, looks, and kicks Rock's arms in. Mankind goes for the elbow! Rock dodges! They go back outside and Rock suplexes Mankind three times on the floor. Rock tells Hebner to count, then goes over and kicks Cole out of commentary. Rock says a monkey took a crap and out came Mankind. Mankind cannonball over the table! He pounds Rock down and drapes him over the table. Cactus Elbow onto Rock! Mankind gets a set of steps in the ring. He goes to hit Rock with them but Rock kicks them back in his face. Rock gets a chair and goes to town on Mankind's hurt knee. Mankind dodges a wild swing. The chair bounces off the rope into Rock's face! Cactus Clothesline! Swinging neckbreaker on the floor. They get up on the English announce table. Rock backdrops out of a piledriver. Mankind's head hits the announce table, and his knee hits the timekeeper's table! Rock gets in the ring, gets the steps in there, and straight drops them down onto Mankind on the floor! SHIT. Foley took that on his hip and thigh so it wouldn't do any real damage (hopefully) but damn that had to have hurt for real. Mankind is still up well before 10. Slam. Elbow pad off. Corporate Elbow! Rock calls for a mic. He says this is the Rock's gift to Memphis and starts singing! There is no way in hell they can keep this guy a heel for much longer. While he's singing Mankind puts on the Mandible Claw! Classic Socko-less version. Hebner also gets knocked out of the ring. Rock goes out, but Hebner is out on the floor so there's no one to count. Rock comes to and low blows Mankind. DDT. Mankind ducks a chairshot. Double underhook DDT onto the chair! Rock is up at 9. Socko is out. Claw! Another low blow. Mankind puts the Claw right back on! Rock counters with a Rock Bottom! Both are up at 8. They both have chairs. Both swing and double chairshot to the head! Both guys are down. Absolutely fantastic sell from both of them on that. They're both out, and Hebner gets to 10 with no one getting up! It's a draw! The crowd chants "bullshit", but if you're going to draw in a match like this, that was the perfect way to do it. Both guys are stretchered out into a pair of waiting ambulances. It's not quite on the level of the I Quit match at the Rumble, but it almost got there. ***3/4

Because of the draw they'd have one last match to settle it all the next night on Raw, and in a continuation of their cycling through gimmick matches it'd be a Ladder Match. Rock would win that to become a 3 time champion in barely 4 months, and move onto his Wrestlemania program with....

This next match is intended to be the final blowoff in the Austin/McMahon feud. I know, I doubt anyone believed it then either. Regardless, it is the end of the feud's peak. After winning the Rumble Vince voluntarily gave up the WM title shot that came with it. Commissioner Shawn Michaels swooped right in and said fine, that means the title shot goes to....Steve Austin. Vince was predictably furious and goaded Austin into putting his title shot on the line in a steel cage match. He's even gone so far to say there will be no interference from any Corporation members, and if any members of the group do interfere they'll be fired. Once again it's the old blue bar steel cage painted black, and they even do the traditional setup instead of lowering it down. They've gotten a lot better as the cage is up and we're ready to go in record time.

 

Steel Cage Match to Challenge for the WWF Championship at Wrestlemania XV: "Stone Cold" Steve Austin def Mr. McMahon in 7:52- It's traditional escape only rules for this one. Austin comes out first and gets right in the cage. Vince stalls like hell, teasing then ducking out at the last second. Eventually Austin says fine and leaves to chase him. Since Vince didn't get in the ring the match hasn't started yet. Vince runs around, gets in and blocks the door to keep Austin out. Austin tries to climb and Vince blocks him. Austin slips off the cage and appears to hurt his knee on the landing. Vince comes out. Austin pops up and clotheslines him! All a ruse. Damn Austin did that great, it really did look like he might have hurt his knee on the landing. People remember Austin the talker but seem to forget he was one of the best and most well rounded wrestlers in every aspect of the game there ever was. Austin takes his time knocking Vince all around the ringside area. Vince goes into the crowd and Austin chases for an in-crowd brawl. After some more ringside knocking around Vince tries to climb the cage just to get away and Austin pulls him back down! He's having too much fun to end it. They both start climbing the cage. Austin hits Vince's head on the top of the cage, and Vince falls back all the way down and through the Spanish announce table! Austin gets in the ring while a stretcher comes out for Vince. Fink gets in the ring and starts to declare Austin the winner. Austin cuts him off and takes the mic! "That's bullshit" (unbleeped). He says he promised an ass whooping, and if Vince thinks he can get out of it like that, UH UH!. "You, in the black. That son of a bitch still breathing?". Austin climbs out, commandeers the stretcher, and wheels Vince into the cage! Backboard shots! Austin drags Vince into the cage, and after over 10 minutes of extracurriculars the bell rings to officially start the match. Austin enjoys a few minutes of beating Vince down some more, then calls for the door. As he's on the steps going down Vince flips him off! Austin turns around and goes back in. Mudhole stomp. Vince hits a low blow! He throws Austin into the cage! Vince climbs and gets over before Austin stops him and flips him back in. Another cage shot. Austin slow climbs, says nah and gets back down. Vince is busted open. Into the cage again. Austin climbs, goes over, and is almost all the way down. Vince gives him a double bird! Again Austin turns around and gets right back in. More cage shots. Austin sets up. Kick wham Stunner! He lays down to jaw at Vince. Someone pops up through the ring mat! IT'S THE GIANT! THE GIANT IS HERE! Sorry, Paul Wight, as Cole calls him for now. For once WCW has the copyright edge. Wight takes out Austin and helps Vince up. Now Vince jaws at Austin. Wight lifts Austin up and tosses him into the cage. That section of the cage comes loose! It swings over the floor with Austin hanging on. Austin lets go and falls to the floor to win! Great ending that made sure Wight still looked good in his debut. Vince is beside himself. Wight just stares Austin down. Austin is going to Wrestlemania to take on the Rock for the title! As horrible as the Rumble match booked around these two was, this was *so* much better. A damn brilliant piece of business in fact that was fun from start to finish. Gotta give tons of credit to Vince as he worked this match perfectly, proving that with the right partner in the right circumstances he could go out there and put on something good. ***3/4

OVERALL SHOW THOUGHTS: Most of it is your typical lackadaisical Attitude Era B PPV, but those last two matches are plenty good enough to push it up into watchable territory. Definitely recommend both of them, especially if you're going through the full sagas of the people involved.

OVERALL SHOW GRADE: C